


Illusion

by The_Girl_Almighty



Category: One Direction
Genre: Alternate Universe - Boy Band, Anal Play, Anal Sex, Australia, Blood and Injury, Blown Glass Studio, Christmas, Christmas Decorations, Christmas Eve, Clubbing, Concerts, Crown Casino Melbourne, Crown Christmas Spectacular, Diary/Journal, Doctors & Physicians, Engagement, Eureka Skydeck, F/F, F/M, Famous Harry, Fans, Fluff, Gay Sex, Grinding, Halloween, Halloween Costumes, Happy Ending, Harry in wetsuit, Heart Reef, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Hospitals, Joy flight, Karaoke, Louis in wetsuit, M/M, Major Character Injury, Marriage, Marriage Proposal, Masturbation, Minor Violence, Mutual Masturbation, Non-Famous Liam, Non-Famous Niall, Oral Sex, Rimming, Romance, Scars, Scuba Diving, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Doubt, Singing, Smut, Song Lyrics, Songwriter Louis, Songwriting, Sunsets, Tour Bus, Wedding Fluff, Weddings, Zoo, one direction - Freeform, papparazzi, pride month, sea turtles, snorkelling, travelling
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-01
Updated: 2018-12-27
Packaged: 2019-05-16 19:41:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 26
Words: 182,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14817680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Girl_Almighty/pseuds/The_Girl_Almighty
Summary: Harry Styles is the world's biggest star. The 23 year old mega star is a style icon and music heart throb.Louis Tomlinson is an adoring fan and song writer who can't believe he's going to a sold out show to celebrate his sisters birthday. Little does he know that a chance encounter will throw their worlds together.Is this an Illusion? Or will he finally find the place he calls home?





	1. Surprises, Crushes And Man Buns

**Author's Note:**

> Louis and Lottie get ready for the night of their lives meeting fun and interesting people along the way.

The Autumn sun was high in the sky. Soft orange and yellow light streamed in through the French doors, bathing the room in a warm, heavenly glow. It had been a perfect day, and no one could have asked for a better lead up to the event of the year. The weather had put on a show for Melbourne and surrounding suburbs today, bathing them in bright, warm sunshine. Something rarely seen in mid April. It seemed even the weather was adding to the hype.

The city was alive with excitement. The prodigal son had finally returned to Australia, and it was all anyone was talking about. Everyone from celebrity A-Listers, to the soccer mum three houses down knew his name. He was the mega star of his generation. The down to earth boy next door, from a tiny town in Cheshire, England who'd made it big.

Standing in front of the full length, sleek mirror, Louis carefully inspected his reflection. Tonight was finally the night. It was his sister Lottie's 18th birthday, and they intended to celebrate it in style. Tonight, they would be sharing a room with the man he admired and awed the most. The man that inspired him to strive for greater things. To become a better person. The man that made him believe that no dream was ever too big and that sometimes, dreams could become a reality. He inspired so much in Louis, and his motivation to follow his own dreams, Louis really just wanted to thank him. He knew he would never be able to though, so just staring at him for a few hours would have to be enough. 

All of the anxious minutes spent pouring over ticketing websites, the rush of being able to purchase prime real estate tickets and agonising over the lengthy wait had finally paid off. Louis could have made a few calls, and had two front row seats in a matter of mere minutes, but he didn’t like to abuse his position. He instead preferred to fend of thousands of other fans for the chance instead and he had succeeded. Louis, along with his sister Lottie, would be heading to a sold out Hisense Arena in a matter of hours to be blessed by the dulcet tones of this modern day poet. Louis had done nothing but dream of what it would finally be like to experience this for himself. To be so enraptured by his voice and his lyrics. To know that he could truly appreciate every moment that was to come, standing mere feet from him.

He had purchased the tickets as an 18th birthday present for Lottie. As a thank you for being such an incredibly thoughtful and amazing big brother, Lottie had asked Louis to accompany her. Of course, Louis had grumbled and groaned and made a big deal out of it. He'd never admit it to anyone who asked, but to him, there was not one person on the planet that could match up to this God amongst men.

He would pull faces at Lottie and make jokes whenever he caught her singing with her hairbrush to one of the many great songs he'd released. Lottie would simply poke her tongue out at him, arguing that he secretly loved him too, and that she was sure he knew all of the words just like she did. She wasn’t wrong, so he couldn't fault her there. He would never ever admit it outloud, or even to himself for that matter, but he did love him and his music as much as she did. He did know every word to every song. He'd expected Lottie to ask one of her many girlfriends to go with her, so when she had asked him, he’d pretended to be put out by her request. In reality, he was over the moon. He thought back to the conversation that day with a warm smile as he continued to get ready.

_ "Oh my gosh, Lou, are you serious!" Lottie screamed throwing her arms around him in a tight hug. He wrapped his own arms around her, happy he was able to make his sister this joyful. _

_ "Yes, Lottie, I'm serious," Louis replied, smiling against her cheek which was currently pressed against his own. A few moments later, Lottie pulled away from him, her face alight with excitement. She stared back down at the two tickets grasped firmly in her hand as if they were the most precious items she had ever had in her possession. She took a moment to inspect them now that the initial shock of being given such a gift had subsided. _

_ Louis watched her with a smile plastered to his face. It had been difficult to keep them a secret from her for so long, to watch her cry and mope around the house for a week after she realised she'd missed out on a ticket. At least, that's what she had thought. He'd almost given in and told her there and then, not being able to stand seeing his sister so upset at the thought of being unable to go. He knew that the wait would be worth it to see the look on her face though, so he’d kept his mouth shut and he hadn't been disappointed. _

_ "What's wrong Lottie?" he asked with a smirk, knowing full well why she looked like she'd been hit with a shovel. _

_ "Lou-- Louis these-- these tickets..." Lottie's eyes grew wide, her jaw dropping to the floor as her sentenced trailed off. She stared up at Louis with a look of utter disbelief. Her blue eyes, so much like his own, darted back to the tickets, reading and re-reading them over and over again before finally settling back on Louis. Louis' lips curved up in an amused grin. He tilted his head slightly to the side, assessing her, before chuckling softly at her priceless reaction. _

_ "These tickets what?" he replied, trying to hold in his laughter. She looked as if she had seen a ghost, not tickets to a concert she had been dying to go to.  _

_ "They're pit tickets! They're pit tickets, Lou!" she screamed before hugging him tightly again, jumping up and down on the spot as she held him. If she damages his poor ear drums before he is even able to make it to the concert, he will kill her. Although he will wait until after the concert, obviously, it is her birthday after all. He isn’t that cruel. Louis threw his head back and laughed when she started moving them back and forth and squeezing so tightly, he was afraid she had broken a rib. He couldn't contain it any longer. He couldn't have hoped for a better reaction and was happy that he'd made all of his sisters birthday wishes come true. _

_ "Front row centre, love, only the best for you," he said, kissing her cheek softly. _

_ Lottie released him looking at him with tears in her eyes and a smile ten miles wide. In that moment, all of the injury to his ear drums and ribs, the secret keeping, and the anxious worry that it would all go wrong was worth it. To see her looking so happy and excited made every single moment worth it. As long as his sister was happy, he didn’t care who she took with her.  _

_ "Thank you so much Lou, you don’t know how much this means to me", she sobbed, soft tears rolling down her cheeks _

_ "Don't cry love, this is supposed to be a happy moment," Louis said, hugging her tightly to him again. _

_ "I am happy, Lou. So, so, so happy. I just never thought in a million years, I'd ever be able to go, let alone in potentially the front row. You are honestly the best big brother a girl could ever have." Louis pressed a kiss to the top of her head and rubbed her back gently then, trying to calm her down. After her breathing slowly returned back to normal, Lottie moved out of his hold. Looking to him now, her tears had stopped and a smile was still firmly on her face. _

_ "So, which lucky friend are you going to choose to go with you?" Louis asked, his curiosity finally getting the better of him. He wasn’t holding his breath. He wasn’t. He just, really wanted to know who she was going to take with her since it was a present from himself to her. He had every right to be curious. He did purchase the tickets, after all. He just wanted to know how his money was going to be used.   _

_ "What do you mean lucky friend?" Lottie replied, giving him an amused look. "Obviously you’re coming with me. You can't buy two pit tickets for me, keep them a secret all this time and then expect me not to take you." _

_ Louis choked on his own spit at her words, excitement coursing through his veins, lighting him on fire. He could hardly believe what he was hearing but forced himself to roll his eyes and groan as if it was going to be the worst night of his life. Thank the gods he is a good actor, or she would have seen right past his pretend disdain.  _

_ "Seriously Lottie, you’re going to make me sit through two hours of that rubbish after all I've done for you?" he sighed as if it was going to the be biggest fucking chore known to man. Seriously, he should get an Oscar for his acting abilities. Leonardo DiCaprio needs an Oscar? No, Louis Tomlinson does for acting as if he doesn’t want to, in fact, go to this concert. It was harder than he thought it would be to fake his disgust, go figure. _

_ "Oh come off it, Louis. You know as well I do that you’re practically bursting at the seams to go with me. Don't stand there and pretend like you don't want to go just as much as I do," she laughed. Fuck. Maybe his acting ability wasn’t as good as he thought. Fucking Leo was going to get his Oscar. After a few moments, Louis sighed and nodded. He knew every word she said was true. There was no point in hiding it any more. It wasn't as if Lottie was going to judge him for it. _

_ "Ok fine, I'll go with you. Only because you’re the birthday girl, and if you want to waste a ticket dragging me along with you, then that's your choice," he said, trying to maintain his cover of indifference. _

_ "If you say so, Lou. But don't pretend like you won't be singing and dancing along with the rest of us. You won't be able to help yourself; I know you won't." Lottie shook her head and sighed, a laugh escaping along with it. _

_ "I don't know what you’re talking about. All that excitement has gone to your head I think," Louis said, unable to hold in his smile any longer, "But, yes, I’ll come with you if that's what you really want. It'll be your own fault when you have to listen to my terrible singing the entire night and ruin it for you." _

_ "We'll see about that," Lottie said with a smirk, kissing him once more on the cheek before running off to tell anyone who would listen to her about her amazing gift. _

Clear blue eyes the colour of sapphires stared back at him in the mirror. His eyes were crinkled and his smile was still present, replaying the memory in his head. He was finally ready for what he was sure was going to be the best night of his life. He'd dressed in black skinny jeans with tears in the knees, the bottoms of which he'd rolled up at the ankles. It was an unfortunate downfall of being so short. He could never find jeans or pants that didn't feel like they were miles too long, but he liked the way the turned up look showed off his slim ankles therefore, it wasn't so bad.

He paired them with a three quarter sleeve shirt, wanting something casual and fun. He wasn't sure what he was supposed to wear to this type of thing, figuring something fun but comfortable would be his best bet. It was one of his favourite shirts. Black sleeves with a white body, with two skull hands holding up a rainbow. He liked the way his jeans hugged his thick thighs and shapely ass. Years and years of football had gone into them, and there was no way he wasn't going to show them off tonight. He also loved the way his shirt gave off a slight bad boy feel, but also made him feel empowered. 

He took one last look at himself in the mirror, making sure his soft brown hair was slicked back into the perfect quiff, before slipping on a pair of his favourite VANS and heading out of his room to find Lottie. His excitement could barely be contained, and he was happy with how sexy he felt with his outfit choice. He was secretly hoping some way, somehow, that he would be noticed by him down in the front row. Or that maybe he could somehow ask for an autograph or photo. He knew it was a long shot, and just a fun dream, but let him dream. Either way, tonight they were dressing to impress and were going to have the time of their lives, whether that meant Louis admitting Lottie was right or not.

Louis walked out of his room and down the short hallway to find Lottie. He knocked loudly on her bedroom door, trying to announce his presence over the loud music thumping through it. "Come in, Lou!" He heard Lottie’s muffled voice yell from inside. Louis entered, pushing the door open gently.

Lottie reached over to her music player and turned it down, so that it played gently in the background as he stepped over the threshold. She was sitting at her makeup table midway through straightening and styling her silky hair. Louis smiled at her as he watched her fingers skilfully scoop up the strands into a braid on the side of her head. She then repeated the process on the other side to complete her look.

She stood and turned to face Louis. "So, what do you think?" she asked turning slowly in a small circle allowing Louis to evaluate her outfit. She was wearing blue boyfriend cut jeans, a bright pink crop top and holographic skate shoes. She'd paired this with her trendy braids and large, sparkly hoop earrings.

Louis smiled, nodding his head and clapping his hands in approval. He wasn't entirely sold on Lottie traipsing all over Melbourne in a bright pink crop top, but knew the argument that would no doubt ensue wasn't worth mentioning it to her. His face must have been reflecting his thoughts back to Lottie because, before he could even begin to compliment her always fabulous fashion choices, she spoke.

"Lou, I know what you're thinking. No way in hell is any sister of mine wearing a crop to a concert," she said putting her hands on her hips and scrunching her face, trying her best to mimic Louis' voice. "But it's only until we get to Hisense, I promise!"

Louis was confused by her statement. Only until they arrived at Hisense? What was that supposed to mean? Was she planning to go topless after that? It wasn't as if there was much of the top to begin with. Louis schooled his features into what he hoped was a neutral expression before replying. "Only until we get there? What are you planning to do? Flash him till he gives you his autograph? There are easier ways, love." He winked, laughing at the look of absolute horror on Lottie's face.

"No, Lou! God!" she exclaimed, utterly horrified at the thought. "I'm going to buy a tour t-shirt to wear over this, you perv!" It was Lottie's turn to laugh then at Louis' look of mock disgust at being called a pervert by his own sister.

"Well, in that case, carry on love." Louis tried in vain to fight the grin threatening to cover his face. "Your outfit is bangin’, far be it from me to tell you otherwise. You are the birthday girl after all."

"You really think I look okay?" she asked, looking fondly at her brother. "I don't look too underdressed, or overdressed, do I? Imagine a baggy white t-shirt with his face on the front tied with a knot at the back. That'll complete the look." She was rambling now, obviously second guessing herself.

Louis held his stubbly chin between his thumb and index finger, an intense look of concentration on his face. He then made a frame with his hands, pretending to dramatically look through them at a multitude of silly angles, even going as far as to climb up onto the stool of Lottie's makeup table. When he was satisfied that he'd made enough of a fool of himself and Lottie's face was split in a large, goofy grin, he said, "It's perfect, love. As always. You never fail to impress. Now, I'm the one who looks under dressed. Or more importantly, not dressed appropriately. I look like I’m going to my year ten free dress day. Not a concert!" He let go of a big sigh at the last part. He really wanted to look his best for tonight. He was going to be mere feet away from the style icon of their generation, and there was no way he was going looking anything but his best. 

Truth be told, he had been harbouring a crush the size of the Goodyear blimp on the man for many years now. He knew it was silly and childish, but there was just something about him that drew people in like a magnet. He was tall and lean, with beautiful long fingers. Louis found himself watching the way he twirled his rings around on them, or the way he held them when gesticulating as he talked, or even doing something as simple as holding a microphone during the countless hours of YouTube videos of him he'd watched.

He had a chiselled jaw, and bottomless green eyes that felt like they could see deep into your soul. His curly brown hair had seen many a style, but Louis' hands down favourite had to be the style he had now, just barely skimming his shoulders and artfully framing his face. Like some kind of dreamy Disney Prince come to life. Louis had seen countless photos of him recently all with a different styles on stage. His signature locks down, with the front section shoved back from his face. The man bun. The half up half down man bun. The space buns, which made him look like a fluffy teddy bear, and his new favourite a braid on each side of his head with the middle section pulled into a bun at the back.

There was honestly nothing the man couldn't wear. He could wear a Hessian sack and still grace the cover of Vogue. The stunningly handsome man was going to be staring and singing down at him tonight, and Louis’ heartbeat started to accelerate slightly at the thought. He hadn't told anyone about his crush. Hell, he wasn’t even supposed to like his music, let alone have a crush on him.

He felt his cheeks redden ever so slightly, and he instinctively bit his bottom lip to stop the idiotic grin fighting its way onto his face. He looked back up at Lottie then, pushing all thoughts of long limbs, nimble fingers and man buns to the back of his mind. Lottie had been looking over his outfit whilst he'd been lost in thought. Her perfectly shaped eyebrows were knitted together in concentration. She twirled her finger around in a circle, motioning for Louis to do the same. Louis sighed, but did as she asked. After one small, slow twirl, Lottie unexpectedly grabbed him by the wrist and proceeded to quickly drag him back down the hallway to his bedroom. She let go of his wrist as they entered the room and continued to march off towards his closet, clearly a woman on a mission.

"Lottie, what are you doing?" Louis asked, confusion lacing his tone. Lottie didn't reply, but instead, left him standing in the doorway while she rummaged around in his closet. Louis took a few steps forward, moving so that he was further into the room, peering around the door of the closet. He ducked then, narrowly avoiding being hit in face by a cream cable knit sweater that Lottie had thrown over her shoulder. Next came a maroon faded t-shirt, followed by two over shirts, a button down short sleeved shirt and a muscle tee.

A few seconds later, Lottie emerged holding a white t-shirt with a black generic print on the front and a light denim shirt. "Here, put these on," she said, thrusting the clothes into Louis' hands. He'd seen her like this before and knew arguing was futile. After all, he had asked her to help with his outfit. Once he had changed his shirts, Lottie rolled up the sleeves on the denim shirt a few times, bunching and scrunching them a bit to make it look like it was just the way he liked to wear his sleeves, rather than a conscious decision. Louis didn’t think that this was any better than what he’d already been wearing. But Lottie was the fashion expert around here, so he hoped she knew what she was doing.

Lottie reached her hand up towards his hair then. Louis's eyes going wide as he realised what she was about to do and swatted her hand away. "No! Not the hair. You're not touching my hair," he said, giving her a pointed look. 

"Come on, Lou, trust me," Lottie practically whined. "We're going to a concert, not tea with Malcolm Turnbull!" Louis sighed. He knew time was getting away from them and that they had to get going. He reluctantly nodded, hoping Lottie wouldn't make him look like an idiot. He had to look his best for tonight. You know, just in case.

Lottie grinned back at him and began ruffling and scrunching her fingers through his hair. He couldn't help but smile at the thought. He knew someone else who did just that, and he knew he could watch him do it all day. Realising the direction his thoughts were headed in, he coughed gently, trying to shake them. When Lottie was satisfied with what Louis felt probably looked like a nest, she smoothed a section of his fringe over to the right side of his face, effectively keeping it out of his eyes, before holding him out at arms length to admire her handy work.

"There. Now you’re perfect. That ass in those jeans, that hair and that stubble... Ugh... You look fit!" she said with a smile and a wink. "Have a look and see what you think while I grab my things from my room. Then we really need to get going." Louis laughed at her cheeky description of him, and her obvious excitement. He turned to face the mirror as she hurried out of the room.

To his surprise, she was right. Instead of the nest he was sure was perched on his head, she'd styled it into a messy bed head look which complimented the stubble he'd chosen not to shave. His super tight skinnies accentuated his ass. The white shirt and tight fitting denim over shirt stood out against the black of his jeans, drawing attention to his muscled arms. His tattoos now showing below his rolled up shirt sleeves. Louis smiled at himself in the mirror. Instead of looking like he’d just rolled out of bed and thrown on the first thing he could find, he looked and felt sexy and confident. He silently sent up a prayer of thanks for having such a fashion conscious sister as he'd never have thought to style his hair that way, or that a simple layered shirt look would work so well for him. Now, at least, if they were lucky enough to run into the man of the hour, he wouldn't be sweating bullets over the state of his outfit.

"Have you got the tickets love?" Louis asked stuffing his wallet into his tight jeans along with his phone, cigarettes and keys as Lottie returned to the room. She had a holographic clutch purse with a sparkly thin strap draped over her body, and an equally sparkly banner that read ‘Birthday Princess!’ in giant glittery pink letters as the finishing touch. Louis was kind of disappointed in himself for forgetting to buy them both flashing crows to wear, but oh well, no matter.

"I sure do, wouldn't want to be forgetting them," she answered, patting her purse to indicate they were inside.

"Right then, let's get this party started!" Louis exclaimed, smiling like an idiot. He then grabbed her arm and dragged her out of the room and out of the house to a night he was sure would be life changing.

  
  



	2. Newspapers, Trains And Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis and Lottie make their way to the city meeting some exciting people along the way

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> References made to PTSD. Not used or meant to cause harm or offence.

Louis and Lottie walked arm in arm down the street in the warm sunshine. The breeze was blowing up from the Foreshore winding through Louis' hair, ruffling it slightly. They talked and laughed as they walked, their feet carrying them towards the train station. Their minds were too wrapped up in the excitement of the upcoming hours to really pay too much attention to where they were going, not that they really needed to. This was a familiar trek for the pair, and they let their feet guide them.

The streets were littered with people hustling and bustling about the popular town. It was the last town on the City Loop line and a main hub for people coming and going to the city, as well as the locals who called it home. It was a beautiful, sunny Friday afternoon and people were taking the opportunity to enjoy it.

Louis had walked these streets more times than he could count since himself, his mother and sister had all moved to Australia from England. They had needed a fresh start and a change of scenery, trying to escape what had become a dull, repetitive life. Louis allowed himself to think back to the first time he'd ever walked this path. Fond memories filled his mind as he listened to Lottie animatedly describe all the things she hoped would happen tonight; the outfit he'd be wearing, which of the many hair styles he'd choose and what antics he would get up to on stage.

Louis liked to describe his life in England as living in black and white. It was, more often than not, rainy and cold there, and whenever the sun had decided to make an unexpected appearance, everyone and their Granny, along with the kitchen sink, had flooded to the nearest beach on mass. Moving to Australia had been like finally being able to see the world in rich 3D colour. Louis supposed this was probably what people had felt like when colour tv had been introduced. Everything had seemed warmer, happier and brighter, even on dull, cold, rainy Melbourne days.

His mother Jay had been offered a job as a nurse at Frankston Private Hospital, after completing some kind of online survey asking for skilled workers in other countries, so she had jumped at the chance to take her family on an adventure. Nursing had been an in demand job at the time, and Jay simply hadn't had a reason why they shouldn't grab the opportunity with both hands and run with it. Louis had vehemently hated the idea at first. He was close with his family and friends in England. He had school and sports teams he was part of, and he could honestly never picture his life anywhere else or as anything other than what it was at that precise moment.

It hadn't taken long for Louis to come around to the idea though, finally accepting the fact that his Mum was moving them thousands of miles across the world for a fresh start and a better life, not because she wanted to ruin the life he already had. She'd initially offered to let Louis stay behind in England after realising how strongly against the idea he was. Louis remembered that she'd cried as she'd said it. He knew in that moment, she loved him so much she was willing to leave him behind, so that he would be happy. It was then that Louis had realised how selfish he was being. His Mum was trying to give them all the best chance at life, and he was being a brat in return, only making her feel guilty for it.

Louis also knew that it didn't matter where he lived, so long as he had his Mum and his sister, that was all that mattered. Not school, or friends, or sports teams. His family was the most important thing to him in the world, and that was all that truly mattered to him. It had been a massive culture shock when he stepped off the plane the day they had landed at Tullamarine Airport. The trip was long and exhausting, spanning three continents, three cities, three planes, and 36 hours. They had finally arrived in Melbourne, however, on a cool March morning and never looked back. They made a home for themselves in the beach side town of Frankston, never really feeling the need to roam any further. It has been that way for a number of years now. He still loved England, of course. It was the place he'd always call home, however his heart and his home were in Australia now, and they were happy and content here.

The hustle and bustle had become second nature now. The sights, sounds and faces were all familiar, welcoming things to him now. There were couples and young teenagers sat outside of cafes and coffee shops on the main street opposite the station. They sipped at their drinks and ate their food animatedly as they walked by them, their chatter filling the air. Louis had never felt more excited for anything in his life. The air around him felt like it was charged, giddiness exploding in his chest resulting in a silly grin forming on his face. Lottie was equally as excited because she was for one, finally 18, and also had a wonderful night ahead of her.

As they drew nearer to their destination, they stopped at the traffic lights to cross over the road to the station. There were people lined up at the various bus stops in front of them. Every possible style and colour of clothing imaginable made the place come alive. Some people had small trolleys and bags while others had backpacks and skateboards. Some patrons wheeled suitcases and luggage, while others were happy sitting reading a book or listening to music as they waited for their bus to arrive. Buses rumbled to and from the stops with passengers embarking and disembarking. All of this was a part of the organised chaos and charm that was Frankston. People from all walks of life could be found here, and everyone seemed to meld together, enriching the atmosphere. Louis had never had a dull or boring day in Frankston. There was always something or someone that made for an interesting day. "Looks like we aren't the only ones headed to Hisense tonight,” Louis said to Lottie as they crossed the street and made their way into the station. There were multitudes of people dressed similarly to how Lottie was, carrying signs, flags and flower. Some talking and singing excitedly in small groups, others simply looked as though they couldn’t believe where they were headed. Louis felt he fell into the last category. 

"We should try and get on the same carriage as them," Lottie suggested. "Why wait until we get there to get the party started? They look like they'll be a riot." Louis had to agree. Sharing an hour long train ride to the city with upwards of one hundred other people, all there for the same reason, did sound much better than attracting looks from stuffy, commuting businessmen and women.

Louis had once taken the train to the city dressed in his tight black skinny jeans and a somewhat revealing muscle tee. He'd been on his way to meet up with some friends for a party and had been running late for the train. Since he was running late, he jumped on the nearest carriage at random. Of course, the stupid thing was full of suit wearing, briefcase toting business people. One particularly uptight man had made a show of reading his oversized newspaper that day, simultaneously tutting and glaring at Louis as he looked him up and down. While scrunching his oversized nose at Louis' clothes and tattoos that were on display, he'd exaggeratedly flicked his newspaper in Louis' direction the entire journey. It had taken Louis all of his effort not to reach over and snatch the newspaper out of the man's hands and smack him around the head with it. Twenty-nine agonising stops later, Louis had shot up out of the seat and ran out of the carriage, eager to get away from the man and his twitchy newspaper. It was a journey to the city he was in no hurry to repeat.

"You're not wrong there," he said to her, nodding. "I can go my whole life without ever having to repeat the Twitching Newspaper incident of twenty thirteen." He scrunched his face up in pain. Lottie laughed loudly at that, attracting the looks of other passengers around them. She knew better than anyone that Louis was still traumatised from his harrowing train ride. He'd stomped around her bedroom, recounting his trip with flailing arms, pretending to flick a giant newspaper for over an hour when he'd returned home. Even now, she was sure newspapers of any kind made Louis twitch.

By now, Lottie was bent double, holding her stomach with one hand, supporting her weight on her knee with the other. Her large sparkly hoops and shoulders shook as she was unable to contain her laughter. It really wasn't all that funny, but the pained expression Louis got every time he mentioned it was enough to send her into a fit of laughter.

"I'm glad you find it funny, Lottie," Louis pouted, folding his arms over his chest. "I'm still bloody traumatised. I think I might have PTND!" he yelled dramatically. 

"PT what?" Lottie asked between laughs, looking up at him with tears streaming down her face. Louis was worried for her makeup, but she really deserved it for laughing at his pain. Knowing her, everything she had on her face was waterproof. Stupid makeup. 

"PTND," Louis repeated seriously. "Post Traumatic Newspaper Disorder." He grinned and winked at her. Lottie was beside herself, slapping her knee and stomping her foot. She’d then made an ugly snorting noise while she’d continued to laugh, tears still running down her face. Louis couldn't contain himself at the sight of her and soon, both of them were a giggling mess, holding each other up in the middle of Platform 1. Their silly antics had drawn looks, smiles and shared laughter from other people waiting on the platform. One person paid more attention than the others, Louis noted, as he righted himself, taking deep breaths, trying to calm his breathing. A lad of similar age and height to Louis, with dyed blonde hair and big blue eyes stood just to the left of where Lottie and himself were standing. He was also bent double, laughing hysterically, no doubt at the little show they had just put on for the entire platform. He noticed Louis watching him then with a fond smile and stood up straight, putting his hands on his hips, walking backwards and forwards, dramatically breathing in and out.

Louis walked up to him and put his hand gently on his shoulder. "You alright, lad?" Louis asked smiling at him. The young man returned his smile and nodded, still breathing in and out deeply. After repeating this a few more times to be sure he wouldn't start laughing again, he began to speak.

"Jesus, I haven't laughed like that fir ages!" he said in a thick Irish accent. "Thanks fir the laugh. I dunno what it was you were laughing about, but I enjoyed meself nonetheless."

"You're welcome, mate," Louis replied, removing his hand from the other man's shoulder. "I'm Louis, by the way, and that's my sister Lottie,” he introduced, pointing towards her. 

"Nice to meet you, Louis. I'm Niall, Niall Horan." He reached a hand out to Louis as he spoke shaking Louis’ hand. "Are you both waiting of the 4:30pm to the city?”

"Yeah, yeah we are actually. We're on our way to Hisense," Louis replied. He reached his hand into the pocket of his jeans then, pulling out his phone, checking the time. It was 4:15pm. Enough time left for a cigarette before the train would arrive. Niall's eyes lit up and a smile grew on his lips as Louis put his phone away and pulled out his cigarette packet, his words having obviously sunk in by this point.  

"No way! I thought me and my mates were the only lads going to the show tonight. Glad to be proven wrong, like," Niall said, happily. Louis offered Niall a cigarette as he spoke. Niall politely declined, but assured Louis that it didn't bother him if he had one.

Lottie made her way over to them, noting that Louis had struck up a conversation with the handsome blonde. She sidled up next to Louis and shyly smiled at Niall. Louis continued to puff away at his cigarette as he watched the exchange between Niall and his sister. Niall offered Lottie his hand, exchanging names and hellos. Niall even landed a small kiss on top of Lottie's hand, making her blush furiously. Louis knew that Lottie was shy around boys, especially the good looking ones, therefore she was clearly becoming flustered. He looked at Lottie then, smirking at her. She drew him a look that said ‘don't you dare make one single smart remark or else’, and lightly smacked him on the shoulder to emphasise the point.

"So it's your birthday then?" Niall asked forcing both of them to look back at him. His blue eyes glanced down at the sash around her body, then back up at her face.

"Umm-- uh-- yeah. Yeah, it's my 18th today." Lottie stumbled nervously over her words, wringing her hands in front of her. "Louis bought me two barrier tickets for the Rock Me Tour, so that's where we are headed now."

"No way!" Niall shouted prompting both Louis and Lottie to look at him in confusion. "Congratulations! I remember when I turned 18. Well, vaguely. A lot of it's a bit foggy," he said and winked at her. "Me and my mates have barrier tickets, too. We should stick together and make a night of it. It's going to be mad fun, like. I'm meeting up with them at Flinders Street, so we can walk across to Hisense together."

Louis couldn't believe it. Out of all the people to have been standing on the platform that day, it had been Niall. He'd only met him a few minutes ago, but already, Louis knew he was good people. He reminded Louis of a walking, talking ray of sunshine, or an overly excited Golden Retriever puppy. He was funny and charming with kind eyes. Louis thought that if he was anything to go by, his friends would be the good people, too, and didn't see the harm in expanding their party of two, to a party of five.

"What do you say, Lottie, wanna make this a real party?" Louis asked. He fought back a smirk as he watched the red colour slowly recede from her cheeks, no doubt a direct result of being winked at by Mr. Tall-Blonde-And-Handsome.

"Yeah sure, why not. It's already been the best birthday ever, so this would just be like the cherry on top," she replied, looking at Niall even though she was speaking to Louis. Oh God, here she goes with her crushing on all the pretty boys again. He rolled his eyes at the pair of them but neither noticed. They were too busy making love heart eyes at each other. The train pulled up then, a loud blaring voice announcing the trains arrival over the speakers on the platform pulling them out of their trance.

**_The 4:30pm City Loop, stopping at all stations, will be departing from Platform 1 in 5 minutes. Could all passengers requiring this service please make their way to Platform 1 now._ **

"That's us," Louis said at the end of the short announcement, and the three of them made their way to a carriage that looked to be overflowing with other concert attendees. None of them were fussed that they'd have to stand or that it was packed or sweaty. It was all part of the overall experience of the night, and Louis could feel the atmosphere around them intensify. The train slowly lurched forward after a few moments, and soon, they were on their way, the whole carriage whooping and cheering, all of them slightly delirious with excitement.

______________

They had been on the train for fifteen minutes or so and Louis had spent his time staring blankly out the window of the train while Lottie and Niall talked amongst themselves. The methodical swaying of the carriage seemed to have dulled down the hype from earlier. The carriage was still squashed and crowded, but people were happy enough with no one seemed to mind. As the train began to stop at stations, Louis noted that nobody ever got off of the carriage and more eager people simply kept pushing their way on, keen to join the party. Someone was playing his songs from a small portable speaker somewhere near the middle and hundreds of voices soon joined in. Louis simply stood squashed next to a rather large man, who he was sure was the Dad of another fan, smiling like an idiot. As the train began to move off again a loud, disembodied voice began speaking.

**_The next stop is Chelsea_ ** **.**

At that, the entire carriage erupted into applause. Some people were even cheering and wolf whistling. Louis knew why they were applauding and cheering. Unable to help himself, he joined in, noting that Lottie was now smirking at him knowingly. Whatever. The atmosphere was infectious and she already knew he was a fan, so he wasn’t going to try and hide it any longer. It also helped that Niall was a fan too, meaning he didn’t feel as awkward about being one of the only male fans around. He was done with this fandom, however. All it took was the mention of anything remotely related to him for them all to go crazy. It wouldn't surprise him if he checked Twitter and found a livestream of the carriage on there. He was tempted to pull his phone out and look, but couldn’t reach it in his current squashed position. A young man stood up on a seat then, helping support himself with the help of his friends and lifted one skinny jean clad leg into the air. Everyone turned to look at him and again the carriage erupted. There, at the end of his leg, was a shiny, gold Chelsea Boot. Louis laughed and cheered as the young man took a bow. His five minutes of fame were interrupted then by the same disembodied voice.

**_Now arriving at Chelsea_ ** **.**

For the third time in as many minutes, the growing crowd cheered and laughed. The young Chelsea Boot clad man cleared his throat and began to speak, well shout really, the eyes of one hundred odd people now on him.

"When I tell you to, I want you to clap your hands to this beat." he said, trying to keep a straight face. Everyone was laughing now but went along with it anyway. He had his hands in the air, clapping out a simple beat whilst everyone followed. "Okay stop. Now, when I tell you to, I want you to stamp your feet to the very same beat, go!" One hundred voices chorused in at that, yelling "He's a poet and he didn't even know it!" everyone stamping, clapping and laughing. "Okay, stop!" He yelled through a laugh. "I want everyone to put their hands in the air!" everyone repeated the action. 

"Okay hands down. Hands up!" Everyone was cheering and clapping again. Lottie nudged Louis gently in the ribs then and winked. He knew what was coming next and squeezed her hand gently. Hundreds of arms were flying up and down in the air. This was one of his favourite crowd moments and he was ready. "Hands up! Hands down! Hands up! Hands down!" Before the young man could go any further the whole carriage yelled back, "Scream if you wanna go faster!" in their best English accents. Louis and Lottie of course had an advantage there, and the people in their immediate vicinity turned their heads to look at them with wide eyes.  The whole carriage cheered. The atmosphere was electric and a spontaneous rendition of _Rock Me_ followed. This continued on for the rest of the ride to the city. It would die down soon after, before someone would amp them all back up again. They had two rounds of "Oh Baby Yeah", countless karaoke moments and two girls up the front even started a water fight. It only came to a stop when the voice from beyond spoke for the final time.

**_Now arriving at Flinders Street._ **

  
  


  
  



	3. Hash Tags, Nicknames And Chance Encounters

The train slowly rumbled to a halt at the designated platform, another train already pulled up alongside them. Slowly everyone seated stood, and everyone shuffled towards the exit. Lottie held onto the hem of Louis' shirt with her left hand so as not to be separated in the crowd with her right hand firmly gripped in Niall's. Louis smirked at Lottie. She shrugged one shoulder at him casually, clearly not giving a damn about holding Niall's hand in public after only knowing him for just shy of an hour. It didn't really bother Louis that Lottie and Niall had hit it off. He was funny and charming, with a nice smile and kind eyes. He thought maybe that someone like Niall would be good for Lottie. 

****

She was fun and outgoing around her family but could come across as shy and reserved around people she wasn’t familiar with. She needed someone to bring her out of her shell. To be the confident girl he knew she was. She was like that around Niall. The complete opposite of what she usually was around strangers in fact. After her initial nerves had melted away she'd been happy, laughing at Niall's jokes and talking with him as if she'd known him for years. Louis had noticed her blushing at things Niall said to her and playfully touching his arm, hand or shoulder, laughing while they talked. Louis was happy as long as Lottie was happy and he hoped that whatever it was between them lasted and wouldn't be just a one time thing.   
  
After a few short minutes of shuffling and being jostled backwards and forwards by other passengers Louis, Lottie and Niall finally exited the train and stepped out onto the platform. They were on the middle platform, the train next to them blocking the view of the platform adjacent. The station was a mixture of both history and modernity. The surrounding structures of the platforms and the overall all outside façade were still the same as they'd been when they were built. Maintained to their original standards even to this day. The steps and the clock at the entrance an iconic, well known landmark of the city.   
  
They were towards the back of the platform, right next to the steep escalators that would take them up to the main part of the station where they needed to be to exit out onto Federation Square. As Louis was about to suggest they head up and find Niall's friends so they could get going, it began, a sight Louis never thought he'd live to witness let alone be apart of. Louis looked up just as the train beside them started to pull away. Over a speaker somewhere towards the middle of the platforms the familiar opening bars of  _ Rock Me _ could be heard. He was sure he'd never want to hear that song again by the end of tonight, but it was too catchy for him to care.   
  
He scanned the platforms. His eyes not quite registering what he was seeing. When his eyes and his brain finally caught up with each other his eyes went wide and he was sure he could feel his chin resting on the platform, his mouth agape. A thunderous roar started to build, almost deafening. Slowly it drowned out the noise of the song being played on the speakers but no one really cared or needed it. On all sides of Louis on both sides of both platforms, for as far as the eye could see were thousands of people. All of them stomping and clapping in time to the opening of  _ Rock Me _ .   
  
The beat was thunderous, and Louis was concerned that they may bring the platforms crashing down if they kept it up much longer, but the amassed people didn’t seem to have a care in the world for their safety, or having to potentially foot the bill for two platforms to be replaced. Before Louis realised what he was doing, he'd joined in with the crowd, Lottie following suit. The crowd continued, undeterred by phones and cameras flashing in their faces as the people on other platforms stood to watch and record them all. At this rate they'd be trending at number one on Twitter before they even got to Hisense Arena. As if he could read his mind, Niall whipped out his phone, keen to capture the magic unfolding. The crowd continued.   
  
**_Do you remember summer 09!?_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Wanna go back there every night!_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Just can't lie it was the best night of my life!_ ** **_  
_ **   
By this point there was not a person on either of the platforms that wasn't signing along, stomping their feet and clapping their hands above their heads whilst they belted it out. Niall was scanning his phone over the crowd backwards and forwards, trying to get everyone in to show the magnitude of what was happening.   
  
**_Lying on the beach till the sun blew out!_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Playing this guitar by the fire too loud!_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Oh my, my they could never shut us down!_ ** **_  
_ **   
At the last line nearly every woman and girl on the entire platform squealed and screamed and cheered. Louis didn't know what made that one particular line so important but apparently it was to some.   
  
**_I used to think that I was better alone!_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Why did I ever wanna let you go!?_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Under the moonlight as we stared at the sea!_ ** **_  
_ ** **_The words you whispered I will always believe!_ ** **_  
_ **   
****_I want you to rock me!_

**_Rock me!_ **

**_Rock me, yeah!_ **

**_I want you to rock me!_ **

**_Rock me!_ ** **_  
_ **

**_Rock me, yeah!_ ** **_  
_ **   
The next part was Louis' favourite part in the whole song. He draped an arm around Lottie and Niall's shoulders, swaying them along to the beat. He threw his head back singing as loudly as he could with Niall and Lottie joining in too, and  they couldn't contain the smiles on their faces.   
  
**_I want you to hit the pedal, heavy meal!_ ** **_  
_ ** ****_Show me you care!_

**_  
_ ** **_I want you to rock me!_ ** **_  
_ **

**_Rock me!_ ** **_  
_ **

**_Rock me, yeah!_ ** **_  
_ ** **_  
_ **   
The music stopped then and applause, wolf whistles and cheers rung out around the station. Louis was convinced he could still feel the platform shaking underneath his feet. It was at that moment that he knew that no matter what happened next, tonight had already been the best of his life. He was so thankful to Lottie for insisting that he go with her and didn't know if he'd ever be able to truly thank her.   
  
"Come over here for a minute till I work out where the lads are," Niall half shouted then. Lottie and Louis followed him into a small corner near the escalator as the people on the platforms started to disperse and jostle their way up the elevators and staircases. "That was ace! The footage is epic like. Just lemme post it on Twitter then I'll find out where they are." he continued.   
  
Louis could see over Niall's shoulder and watched as he uploaded the video to Twitter. He wrote a small message, describing the fandom as the best in the world and that should anyone ever question it, they were to be shown the video. He then ended it with the hashtag #RMWTMelbourne2018 and pressed tweet.   
  
"There, that'll show all the other fandoms and haters what they're missing out on. I'm sick and tired of being judged for being a fan," he said with a satisfied smile.   
  
Louis had to agree. Part of the reason he never voiced his love for him and his music was because it was always met with judgement, sighs, eye rolls and negativity. Having a crush on him didn't help either. Louis had, had enough of that in his lifetime as it was. He didn't need anymore because of his taste in music. The conversation had always gone the same way whenever he'd mentioned it. Always resulting in the same hateful, unnecessary comments. One of his so called ‘friends’ had been so rude in fact, that he didn't even speak to him anymore. Louis didn't think he'd ever forget that day.   
  
_ "Why the hell would you want to watch some lanky faggot prance about on a stage in girls clothes for anyway? And besides that he can't sing for shit!" he'd said. Loathing and malice dripping from every word. _ __   
  
Louis had seen red, pointing his finger right in the man's face and swearing that if he ever spoke like that about anyone ever again that he'd be more than happy to shut him up so he couldn't. Louis had also been hurt, both at his words and not having realised he was homophobic until his homophobic words had been aimed at Louis.   
  
Louis shook his head, trying to clear it of the negative thoughts not wanting to put a downer on his night. It was then he realised that Niall had been talking to him and he hadn't noticed.   
"Sorry what did you say? I was off in my own little world for a second."   


"All good lad, I was just asking for your Twitter so that I can add you and Lottie to the group chat. It's gonna be one hell of a night and I want us to all enjoy it together. This way if we get separated we can figure out a place to meet back up," Niall said.   
  
By the way Niall was talking Louis was guessing that the night would be far from over when the concert ended. Secretly he hoped he was right. It had been a long time since he'd been out on the town and let his hair down and just been a carefree 26 year old. His job was demanding and he always had to be on top of his game. It required a lot of him emotionally and mentally and it was necessary to forget about all the pressures of work and life for a while. Not that he'd been doing much work recently. He hadn’t really worked since things had ended with Ben, regardless, he was young and needed to let his hair down.    
  
"Oh right. Yeah that's sounds good mate. My account is @LTSongWriter," Louis replied. A few seconds later he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He fished it out of his jeans and quickly followed Niall back so that he could be added to the group.   
  
A few seconds later and Louis had been added to the group chat named Niall and The Potatoes, of all things. Louis couldn't help but laugh at him as he stood there looking proud as punch at the imaginative, yet hilarious name he'd chosen for them.   
  
Lottie had taken Niall's phone from him and added herself to the group, announcing that it was too difficult to spell out her long-winded account name. As Niall took the phone back from her he looked at it with a confused look on his face. His eyebrows were knitted together and his head was titled to the side. He really was a Golden Retriever puppy.   
  
"Is that you?" he asked Lottie, pointing to his phone screen." @CharlotteTheGrlAlmty?"    
  
"Yeah that’s me," Lottie replied, "Why do you ask?

  
"I thought your name was Lottie. I didn't realise it was short for Charlotte," He said. "They're both beautiful though" he added in a shy voice, almost as an afterthought that they probably weren't supposed to hear. Lottie smiled at him, a blush creeping up her cheeks at his compliment. Louis didn't have time for these two love birds and their gushing and wooing right now. To ease the tension and awkward silence he clapped his hands together loudly, suggesting now would be a good time to find the boys before they ended up at the back of the pit and not at the barrier where they were supposed to be.  
  
Niall quickly typed out a message and Louis and Lottie followed along on their own phones.  
  
 ** _Nialler :_** _Oi lads. Where are ya?_ _  
_  
Three small dots soon appeared in the corner signalling that one of them was replying.  
  
 ** _Liam :_** _Hiya m8. We r on the stairs waiting 4 ur blonde ass. Hurry up son!_ _  
_  
Ooh, someone with a bit of sass. Louis liked this person already. He had always been a bit sassy and sarcastic but people rarely knew how to take him. A lot of the time people thought he was being serious or rude. Maybe this lad would give him a run for his money. Niall replied.  
  
 ** _Nialler :_** _Keep wats left of ur hair on Li! We'll b there soon :P_ _  
_ _  
_Instantly there was a reply.  
  
 ** _Z :_** _We?????_ _  
_  
Niall chose not to reply back, instead closing his phone, pocketing it and signalling Louis and Lottie to follow him. Lottie and Louis both knew where they needed to go, but let Niall lead them along through the main part of the station anyway as if this was the first time they’d set foot inside of it.  
  
Louis wondered if Niall's friends would be as nice as he was. Would they mind that Niall had invited them to join his group? It would no doubt be awkward for Niall if they were opposed to the idea. Lottie and Niall were now practically super glued together and he knew Niall wouldn't want or be able to choose between his mates and Lottie. Fingers crossed it wouldn't be an issue.  
  
They reached the front entrance of the station after nearly five minutes. Thousands of people packed into what seemed like a small space, had made the trip five times longer than it should have been. As they exited and started to descend the stairs Louis noticed two men standing below them just to the left. He assumed that they were Niall's friends as they were the only two guys milling about. One was Niall's height with a buzz cut. He was wearing light blue skinny jeans, suede CAT boots and a white muscle tee. A large, heavy looking, gold chain was draped around his neck, a watch to match on his wrist. His arms and were covered in tattoos and the gold of his jewellery and the white of his tee made them stand out on his skin.  
  
The other had jet black, artfully styled hair that Louis was instantly jealous of. He was wearing black skinny jeans, a red and black patterned, button down shirt and boots. His wrists and fingers were adorned in an assortment of unusual but beautiful bracelets and rings. Louis noticed as he turned his head that he also had a nose ring and tattoos on his arms, hands, chest and neck. This was a look Louis could get behind. It made Louis laugh to think that these boys were Niall's friends. He was wearing simple blue skinny jeans, a white t-shirt and white high tops. Not a single tattoo or piercing to be seen. Next to them Niall looked like a good little church boy. The lad in white spoke up then.  
  
"About bloody time! We're going to miss the beginning if you don't hurry your ass and if you think I'm missing out on ten and a half thousand people singing _Olivia, Man I Feel Like A Woman_ and __Bohemian Rhapsody , then Niall my friend, you're sorely mistaken! Plus there's probably already a queue a mile long for merch!"  
  
"Jesus Liam, calm down mate. We only got here 15 minutes ago! You're carrying on like we're an hour late not 5 mins!" Niall retorted. Liam smirked and winked at him. He clearly wasn't really upset with Niall and they just liked the banter.  
  
"Who's this you've got with you anyway?" Liam asked gesturing towards Louis and Lottie.

  
"Oh this is Lottie and Louis. I met them earlier at Frankston. They’re a bloody riot I tell ya," Niall said, laughing slightly no doubt at their earlier antics.   
  
"Hi I'm Louis, but you can call me Tommo," Louis said then, offering Liam and then the other man his hand.

  
"Nice to meet you Tommo. I'm Liam, but most people call me Payno," he said shaking Louis offered hand. "And this is Zayn," He said gesturing towards him with his thumb. Louis and Zayn shook hands and he offered Louis a shy smile telling him he was ‘just Zayn’ but someone people called him ‘DJ Malik’.   
  
Lottie and the boys then shook hands, Liam and Zayn both congratulating her on her birthday. Niall was standing with his arms folded over his chest with a pout on his face watching as the scene unfolded.   
  
"What's up mate? Why the long face?" Louis asked.

  
"Everyone's got a nickname except for me." Everyone laughed. "I want a nickname," he continued, his spirits lifting.   
  
"I was thinking something like, Cupcake!" Liam suggested with a laugh.

  
"Piss off Payno, there's no way I'm being called cupcake. I was thinking something like Captain!" Niall suggested.   
  
Liam looked as though he was seriously considering Captain as an option, Zayn smirking obviously knowing something Louis didn't. He watched on fascinated by the dynamic of the group.   
  
"Fine, how about Captain Cupcake!?" Liam exclaimed and everyone fell about in a fit of laughter. Even Niall laughed and it was soon decided that Niall would from now on be Captain Niall or Nialler for short.   
  
When everyone was acquainted and Niall’s nickname had finally been decided, they all headed off across the street to Federation Square, and finally started their approach to Hisense Arena. Louis had always loved this part of the city. It just seemed to flow and meld together even though it was made up of contradictions. Flinders Street Station and neighbouring St Paul's Cathedral were historic elements of the city's past that had stood the test of time. Representing a part of Melbourne that few people alive today were even around to witness.   
  
In stark contrast sitting directly opposite them was Federation Square. It was a complex of sorts, made up of multiple buildings and the central meeting spot for Melbourne's annual New Year's Eve Extravaganza. The buildings were the height of modern architecture and Louis always admired the fact that someone's mind had envisioned and created the spectacular buildings. They were all different shapes and sizes made up of geometric patterns and shapes. One building solely being comprised of glass. Each pane a different size and shape, but somehow seeming to organically fit together.   
  
As they walked through they passed under a shaded area that had always reminded Louis of a futuristic tree. The support was made up of multiple black poles, arranged into what Louis thought looked like a tree trunk. The top was a canopy of rectangles arranged into a 3D chevron pattern, making the cream coloured panels look as though they were moving. Horse drawn carriages and electric trams teamed around them and Louis never tired of this place. Two worlds seamlessly melding into one. Neither really belonging together, but the contrast was beautiful and it felt like home.   
  
The walk to Melbourne Olympic Park wasn't a long one. It would only take them ten minutes, fifteen at a push and they all walked along enjoying the sunset, talking, laughing and getting to know each other better. They'd even exchanged phone numbers at one point passing their phones around until everyone had the others number. Niall, as Louis found out, was a freelance musician. He specialised in guitar but could sing, play some piano and did backing guitar and vocals for up and coming artists. His main source of income, however, was doing live gigs at local venues. Louis didn’t think he’d ever seen Niall perform before, but that wasn’t a huge surprise to him. He’d practically lived with in the confines of his house for the last two years.   
  
Liam dabbled in signing and being a DJ. He was between jobs at present, picking up work where he could, but mostly he helped out Zayn. Zayn was a DJ. DJ Malik to be precise. He was gigging in Melbourne currently but had also played shows and festivals all over the world and was due to headline the  _ Tomorrowland  _ show at the end of October. Louis felt slightly guilty at not knowing who Zayn was, seeing as he was clearly so prominent in the industry. It just reaffirmed that Louis was so far out of the loop, and he really needed to get back on the proverbial song writing saddle.    
  
Lottie confessed to just having finished school, and that she was keen to become a makeup artist. Niall and the boys all agreed that with her fashion sense and the make up she'd done on herself, that she'd be scooped up in no time. Louis smiled proudly as these mere strangers showered his sister in praise, and he had to agree, she really was going to have no trouble finding work. Louis, however, felt a little intimidated by Zayn’s career, but when he finally spit it out that he was a songwriter, they all assured him that being a songwriter wasn't an easy job and also nothing to be ashamed of.

****

It wasn't easy, nor was it really anything to be ashamed of. It was high pressure and had long hours, but it paid off when he could listen to his songs playing on the radio, or sung back to artists by thousands of adoring fans. He never told anyone which ones were his. He liked it that way, as it meant he could enjoy them without being harassed about which big name he was writing for next.   
  
They rounded the corner then onto Olympic Boulevard. Louis could see Hisense Arena in the distance. He felt like his skin was on fire and he had a weird swirling feeling in the pit of his stomach. The proverbial butterflies starting up at full force as they drew nearer. Finally after what seemed like days, and not an hour and a half, they arrived. The were greeted by a large white Marquee with  _ Official Merchandise Stall  _ emblazoned on the front. There were three long tables shoved together under it, lined with hoodies, crewnecks, t-shirts, bags, hats and an assortment of other fun items.   
  
Louis knew Lottie was practically jumping out of her skin to get near it and Liam looked equally as keen. So he took the opportunity to find a secluded spot to sneak a cigarette, knowing once they were inside there was no turning back. He tapped Lottie on the shoulder then to get her attention, handing her his wallet. 

****

"Here, get whatever you want from the merch stall and get me a pink hoodie yeah? Get a big size. You know how like them love," Louis said, and Lottie took his wallet from with a confused look on her face.   
  
"Why where are you going?" she asked.

  
"I'm going to go find a spot to have a smoke. Once we're in there I doubt they'll let us back out again. I'll meet you at the door in a few. I'll probably be finished before you are anyway." They all nodded in agreement as he set off to find somewhere out of view of what seemed like half of Melbourne.

  
He wasn't ashamed of being a smoker, and never really felt he needed to hide, he just didn't want to attract dirty looks from the anti smoking brigade. Plus, he was positive past a certain point you weren't allowed to smoke at Olympic Park whether you were inside a building or not. He set off in the direction furthest away from the assembling crowds, rounded the side of the arena and found what looked like a back service entrance. Surely no one would disturb him there? 

There didn't seem to be any people around and if anyone did come by and question him, he'd simply lie and say he didn't know he wasn't allowed to be there. He leant up against the wall, one leg bent at the knee, with his foot resting against it. He pulled his cigarettes out and lit one, putting the packet back in his pocket and got out his phone. He figured he could check Twitter while he had his smoke and see if he was right about their video trending.   
  
As predicted their video had gone viral, thanks to the power of a hashtag and the fandom. Louis pushed himself up off of the wall slowly, wandering about aimlessly staring at the screen. An eye crinkling smile spread on his face as he watched, coming to a stop with his back to the door. He hadn't heard it slowly open. Too engrossed in the video to notice. He wouldn't have heard it over the noise of the video anyway, even if he had been paying attention. Suddenly he was jolted forward by the force of someone clearly walking into him, not having expected him to be there. He spun around quickly ready to explain why he was there, and came face to face with sparkling, startled green eyes and a mop of curly brown hair.   
  
"Oops..." The voice said. The low rumbling baritone reverberating through Louis like a tidal wave.   
  
Louis froze. His skin felt like a million fireworks had gone off simultaneously and he suddenly didn't know how to breathe. This could not be happening. Things like this didn't happen to him. Never. He didn't have luck like this. It was an illusion. His mind was playing tricks on him. He scrambled for what to say or what to do and before he knew what he was saying, a tiny word escaped his mouth in one shaky breath.   
  
"Hi....".


	4. Soft Touches, Lilac Sweaters And Inuendos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis meets Harry. Harry meets Louis. And Louis' balls are in Harry's hands.

He looked at Louis with a kind and slightly sympathetic expression. Louis was shaking and breathless, convinced that the other man was trying his hardest not to laugh in his face. Louis was angry at himself. He promised himself that if he ever had the chance to meet him he wouldn't become a sobbing, breathless 15 year old girl. Right now though, he felt like a deer in headlights. He was a songwriter and a damn good one, who'd worked with some of the biggest names in the business. If people knew the songs he'd written he'd be almost as famous as the people he'd written them for, and yet this man had the power to make him weak at the knees.

"Hi, I'm Harry. I'm really sorry for walking into you like that. I didn't realise anyone would be out here. Are you okay?", Harry said, reaching up a hand and placing it on Louis' shoulder.

Louis felt all of the breath he'd been holding leave his body at once as Harry's hand came to rest on his shoulder. The place where Harry had touched him felt like he'd been electrocuted. His stomach was suddenly in knots again and his breathing almost non existent. He could feel the warmth of his hand and was vaguely aware of Harry's thumb rubbing small, calming circles through the material of his shirts.  He had to get it together. He was being stupid. Harry Styles was known for being a genuine, down to earth person. Someone who enjoyed meaningful conversations and getting to know his fans. It would be highly unlikely that he would be anything other than kind and Louis was over thinking the entire situation. He knew the reason he'd reacted this way was nothing to do with Harry himself, and everything to do with his silly crush. He'd been like this around other men he'd had crushes on, but the fact that Harry was a mega star seemed to amplify that feeling somehow. He'd clearly been imagining the jolts of electricity coursing through him every time Harry's thumb moved. He was being an idiot and he had to get it together. Louis knew he had to take a deep breath and play it cool. No one wanted the person they admired most to think them a fool. Harry was scanning his face with his eyes. His expression changing to concern when Louis had not replied to his question. Louis took a deep breath, cleared his throat and spoke.

"It's nice to meet you Harry. I'm Louis, Louis Tomlinson. And there's no need to apologise. I shouldn't be back here to be fair. And to answer your question, yes, I'm fine thank you. I was just startled is all," Louis lied. He was impressed by the level of calm he'd managed. He smiled at Harry attempting to convey to him that he was in fact fine, trying hard to remove the worry lines and frown covering Harry's beautiful face. There shouldn't be a single thing in this world that ever made this man sad or worried, and Louis certainly didn't want to be the reason. Harry's lips slowly curved up in a bright, genuine smile. His green eyes lighting up at Louis' words.

"It's very nice to meet you, Louis Tomlinson. Did you come all the way from home to be here? Are you seeing the show tonight?" Harry asked. He took a sip from a cup Louis hadn't realised he was holding and peered at him over the rim.

"Define home?" Louis asked with a smile. _Play it cool, play it cool, play it cool._ The mantra played on a constant loop in his head as he spoke. Maybe if he said it enough times to himself he would start believing it. "And yes, most definitely. I'm here as a plus one for my sister. I bought her two tickets for her birthday and she invited me to come with," Louis continued. He waited then for Harry to answer. Louis took the opportunity to completely take in the sight before him as he waited, hoping to convey he was simply paying attention to Harry and not unabashedly checking him out. 

He wasn't as tall as Louis had imagined he would be. Taller than Louis of course, it wasn't difficult for anyone to be taller than him, but not overly so. Louis came up to just above his shoulder. Perfect cuddling height and what? Where had that thought come from? Louis pushed it to the back of his mind and continued to take in Harry in all of his glory.  Louis noted that he wasn't dressed as though he was about to walk out onto a stage to a sold out Hisense Arena. This seemed odd to Louis, but who was he to question him? Instead he was dressed as though he was about to spend the night in, snuggled up on the sofa with a blanket and a sappy movie. He was wearing an oversized lilac sweater that made him look fashionable and not like he was wearing a sack. It hung loosely from his shoulders and he'd rolled the sleeves just past his wrists, making the arms puff out at his elbows. Paired with that were black skinny jeans and black Chelsea Boots. 

Harry lowered his cup then, using the other hand to ruffle his hair and push it back from his face before speaking. _I'm fine. I'm calm. I'm fine. I'm calm. I'm fine. I'm calm. I'm fine._ Again with the mantras. Repeating is believing so the saying goes, and if it wasn’t a saying, it should be. Was Harry doing this deliberately? Was he trying to give Louis a heart attack? Louis knew his face wasn't red. It just wasn’t.  It was taking every ounce of self control he had but he wasn't blushing. He really wasn’t. Or he hoped he wasn't at least. He'd stopped shaking and was standing casually. His face was schooled into the perfect calm façade and the only explanation he could think of was that Harry honestly didn't realise that the simplest of actions had such a huge impact on people. That by simply doing something that came so naturally to him, he could ignite a fire in people. Or maybe that was just the effect he had on Louis. This was becoming ridiculous. Louis knew he didn't have a hope in hell of ever being anything but a chance encounter with a fan to Harry. So why was his mind running at million miles an hour? Why were his palms sweaty? Why was his heart racing? Why did he feel as though he'd been set alight?

"Home as in England," Harry said then, pulling Louis abruptly out of his inner turmoil, a look of pride growing on his face. "Honestly I was a bit shocked when that accent came out of your mouth. I was expecting it to be Australian. We are in Melbourne after all. Where are you from? The accent sounds familiar but I can place it."

"Ah, that home," Louis said, realising what Harry had meant about coming here from home. "No I didn't. I live in Australia. Have done for years now. I live about an hour away from here. Sorry to disappoint." He paused, watching Harry to gauge his reaction. Harry simply smirked at him. Louis calmed a little at that. He knew Harry was just another lad in his 20’s just like he was. He wasn't uptight and felt as though he was superior to anyone else, so Louis continued as though he was simply talking to a mate he hadn't seen in a while. "I'm from Doncaster, not as posh as you Holmes Chapel lads I'm afraid," Louis quipped, winking at Harry. They didn't call him the sassy for nothing. He'd soon find out what Harry was about depending on his response. Harry, to his credit, and Louis’ immense relief, laughed. A loud, unflattering, but oddly endearing laugh. Louis couldn't help but laugh with him. The sound a joy to be heard. "I like you, Louis Tomlinson," Harry said in response, a trace of a laugh still in his voice. 

"I like that you treat me like you would anyone else. You don't treat me like the ‘ Harry Styles’ like everyone else does." He emphasised his name with air quotation marks before he continued on. "To you I'm just a bloke called Harry from Holmes Chapel. It's refreshing really." He gave Louis a look then, one that Louis could only describe as sincerity and thanks. One that conveyed without words that Harry was thankful that someone seen the real him. The Harry that he was when he wasn't being paraded around awards shows, or being probed by nosey, uniformed interviewers. The Harry that his family and friends knew. Not the Harry people thought he was or should be.

"You _ are _ just a bloke called Harry from Holmes Chapel, don't let that head get too big, dear Harold," Louis replied. He thought that maybe he'd overstepped at this point. It was difficult to know how causal he should be acting towards him, but unless Harry stopped him he wasn't going to treat him any different to any of his other friends. Friends? Louis thought. Who said they were friends? Louis could easily see himself and Harry becoming friends, but in what world was that a possibility? Certainly not this one that's for sure. Harry shook his head at him with a giant, dimple popping smile on his face. 

"You know, it's a pity I've got a sold out arena show to do. I'm enjoying talking to you," Harry said, as if playing to a sold out arena was the most normal thing in the world. Like brushing his teeth or doing the dishes.

"I don't know why you’re wasting your time to be fair. There's nothing special about me," Louis replied. "Playing a sold out show sounds like a much better use of your time. Speaking of which, why are you hiding back here anyway? All those screaming, adoring women getting a bit much?" Louis thought he seen a pained look flash across Harry's face at his words, but it was gone before he could be sure.

"Yeah something like that," Harry said shrugging. "Some artists are all for the hoards of screaming women throwing themselves at them, but it's not really my thing." Louis was confused by what Harry had said. He was tall, handsome and from all accounts a genuine lad. He could have any woman he wanted and yet, here he was hiding in a back service entrance with Louis.

"I completely understand. Women aren't my thing either," Louis replied. Before he had realised what he'd said the words had flown out of his mouth. His hand flew up to cover his mouth as soon as he’d realised, almost as if he was trying to force the words back in. He'd all but implied that Harry wasn't interested in women at all. That hadn't been what he'd meant, well not in Harry's case anyway. He'd been referring to himself and somehow managed to imply that it applied to Harry too. Harry's smile grew and he winked at Louis. The second time in almost as many minutes. What? Was he agreeing? Louis was stunned. What was that wink for? Was Harry gay? Or at the very least bi? Question after question flooded Louis' brain and he vowed to pick Lottie's brain about it later. 

The conversation continued on after that as though nothing had happened. For how long though, Louie couldn't tell. Nor did he care. Harry had changed somehow after the remark about women. Almost as if this was the most true form of himself. The one that not even the closest of his friends ever got to see. Louis felt honoured even if he was still confused. And was Harry flirting? Dear God he hoped so and that he wasn't just simply imaging things. It suddenly dawned on Louis then that he'd probably been standing here talking to Harry far longer than he'd realised. Just as the thought entered his mind, his phone began to ring. 

"Shit!" he said, quickly trying to fish his phone out of the pocket of his very tight jeans. Harry watched on with an amused look on his face, whilst Louis finally managed to wiggle the phone free. "Hello?" he said, once he had answered the call, the phone now against his ear as he  held up a finger to his lips, signalling Harry to keep quiet. Did he just shush Harry Styles!? He was officially deranged and needed to be institutionalised. "Where the hell are you!?" Lottie yelled at him. 

"One smoke you said! I swear to God Louis William Tomlinson, if I don't get near that barrier I'll tear your balls off! Now get your ass back to the merch stand and make it snappy!" The line went dead then and Louis looked at his phone in stunned silence. How long had he been standing back here for? Clearly far longer than he'd intended if Lottie's irate phone call was anything to go by. He looked at the time on his phone then and was shocked to realise it was almost 6:30pm. He'd been over here talking to Harry for almost 20 minutes. How had that even happened? It seemed like he'd only been talking to him for a few seconds. The opening act would be starting in just over an hour and if they didn't get to the barrier soon they'd never get near it.

"Shit!" Louis said again, shoving his hands through his fringe. He could feel Harry's eyes still on him as he agitatedly paced backwards and forwards.

"Is everything alright?" Harry asked. 

"Yeah, well it will be so long as I can get my sister to the barrier. She's threatened to personally castrate me if I don’t," Louis rushed out, a hint of sarcasm lacing his words. Harry laughed no doubt at the fact that now that Louis was flustered his sassy attitude was making an appearance.

"There'll be no castrating going on tonight, Lou. There's a security guard monitoring the pit tonight. His name is George. I'll let him know you'll be in there with..." Harry paused letting his sentence trail off and did he just call him Lou? Oh dear God. Louis realised then, even through his minor panic attack at Harry’s use of the nickname, that he was waiting for Louis to tell him who he was with and he quickly answered.

"Oh I’m with Lottie, Niall, Zayn and Liam. We all have barrier tickets." Harry's smile went wide. 

"Zayn? As in Zayn Malik?" he asked.

"Um, yeah that’s him," Louis replied a little confused. He wasn't sure why that mattered, or how Harry knew it was him he was referring to, so he waited for Harry to continue.

"He didn't tell me he was coming! You all need to come back stage after the show. It's a must. And I'll have no arguments," Harry quickly said, or quickly for Harry at least, wh en he seen the look of disbelief on Louis' face. "Think of it as a birthday present from me for Lottie,” he continued when Louis didn’t say anything. “Anyway, I’m sorry to cut this short but  I need to head back in. I'll tell George to make sure you're all up the front and to bring you back stage afterwards. He's wearing glasses and a black tour shirt, you can't miss him. Just tell him your name when you get in there and he'll sort you guys out," Harry said, a satisfied look in his face as he finished.

"Thank you, Harry. You really don't have to go to all this trouble. Although, if I end up castrated it will be your fault," Louis said with a smile, still in shock at the turn of events the night had taken. 

"So what your saying is, that your balls are in my hands?" Harry asked. Louis mouth hit the ground. He knew his mouth was hanging open. He knew he looked like a stunned mullet and at that point his shock outweighed his steely resolve to play it cool. Louis didn't say anything. He didn't think he knew how anymore.  "It's ok Lou. Your balls are safe with me," he continued  and with that he turned around and headed back inside the building, offering Louis a cheeky grin as he disappeared behind the door.

__________

Harry rushed back down the hallway to his dressing room, sweaty, flustered and his heart racing. He'd gone in search of a side entrance to get some air and clear his head, but had accidentally stumbled out onto the growing line of fans waiting to enter the arena. When they'd realised who they were looking at they'd mobbed him, all clamouring to touch him, pulling at his clothes and his arms. One fan he noted, even pulled his hair.

He knew he had fans on Twitter who loved and respected him. Who would much rather have a calm, intelligent conversation with him or simply just say hello and let him be, but these fans clearly hadn’t received that memo. He hated that women found him so attractive. He didn't know why that was the case if he was perfectly honest. He was just Harry. There was nothing extraordinary about him and yet wherever he went thousands of screaming women of all ages followed. That wasn't to say that his entire fan base was made up entirely of screaming women. He'd seen some equally as enthusiastic male fans in his time, but it always seemed to be the women who stalked and mobbed him.

It especially didn't help that he wasn't even attracted to women. It was draining having to pretend to be someone he wasn't. Apparently his sexual orientation directly affected his performance as an artist, so say his management team anyway. Harry wasn't stupid. He knew it had everything to do with people who were homophobic and how that would affect his label’s bottom line in certain countries. Everything to do with people who would drag his name through the dirt. But it was 2018. Many countries around the world had either passed marriage equality or were continuing to fight for it. But he also knew he had fans that lived in countries where that still wasn’t accepted. Where people who were anything other than straight were shunned as outcasts, some even facing death and so in the interest of saving his followers and fans he remained closeted.

Personally he didn't give a shit if his fans and the world knew he was gay. To Harry love knew no gender. Love was an emotion. A tangible, powerful, overwhelming feeling shared between two people, and to him the gender of those people wasn't that important. Harry paced up and down in his dressing room, shoving his hands repeatedly through his hair. He was more worked up now than he'd been 10 minutes ago and that was the opposite of what he'd been trying to do. He made the decision then to go in search of another door, hoping and praying that this time there wouldn't be any screaming fans on the other side of it.

He made himself a cup of tea to sip on before leaving, hoping that having to concentrate on holding the cup in his hand and drinking the tea would help to calm him a bit. He peeked his head out of the dressing room door, checking to make sure he wouldn't be followed and that the coast was clear, then he set off down the hall in the opposite direction. He loved everyone on his team, even his security, but sometimes he just wanted and needed to be alone. Even if it was only for a few minutes. He's surmised that if turning right had led him to the front of the arena, then turning left may lead him to the back. Or atleast to the side of the arena. After walking for a few moments he came to a door that said  _ Service Entrance 3  _ in large white letters. Harry sighed in relief. A service entrance would be perfect. From the eerie quiet of the hallway he was sure the entrance wasn't currently being used and he'd be left alone to gather himself. He took a deep breath, then pushed the door open.

As he walked outside, the dying rays of light hit his skin and he closed his eyes soaking up the warmth from them. He continued to walk forwards, his eyes still closed, but soon they flew open in shock as he realised he'd walked straight into someone. The man had his back to Harry and he quickly spun around to see who'd almost knocked him down. Blue, sparkling eyes the colour of sapphires stared back at him. The man looked as though he was holding his breath, or that he'd simply forgotten how to breathe. Harry wasn't sure what he should do or say. "Oops," was all that he'd been able to manage. The man before him was a head and shoulders shorter than he was but had broad shoulders, a slim body and thick muscly legs. Footballers legs.

"Hi..." the man said in reply. The tiny two letter word escaping on a long, shaky breath. Harry was impressed. Fans who were this affected by him were usually 15 year old girls, not grown men. The fact that he had been able to even utter a word to Harry without crying already put him in a league above them. 

He knew that the man was star struck. He could almost see the cogs in his head slowly, deliberately attempting to keep moving. To try and keep the man's breath steady, his hands from shaking and to form coherent sentences. Harry reached his hand up and placed it on the man's shoulder then and his hand eclipsed it easily. He didn't know why he felt the need to, or even if he should have, but the urge to comfort this man took over him. Slowly he began to rub small circles into his shoulder with his thumb. What Harry hadn't been expecting was the pool of heat low in his stomach that formed as the heat of the man’s skin had seeped into his hand through his shirts. Or for his heart to race and the temperature to suddenly become unbearable. For his mouth to suddenly become dry and a spark of electricity to shoot up his spine. That he had not been expecting at all. 

Unlike the man before him, Harry was trained to remain cool under pressure. To not show his emotions if he didn't want to and he retained an exterior of cool calm. Harry quickly rushed to apologise for almost knocking the man over and he seemed to recover himself then, introducing himself as Louis Tomlinson. He then went on to quickly assure Harry that there was no need to apologise and that he shouldn't have been back there in the first place. Harry knew he was probably right, but in that moment he was glad he had been. Harry noticed a cigarette smouldering out on the ground at Louis’ feet and realised that’s probably what he'd been doing back there to begin with.

Louis was a very attractive man. He wasn't overly tall, but not tiny either. He had mid length brown hair that he'd somehow managed to make look like he'd woken up that way. Stubble littered his jaw and neck, making his startling blue eyes pop and Harry secretly wished he could grow stubble like that. He was wearing a simple outfit of a white t shirt with a generic image on the front, a light denim over shirt that accentuated his toned arms and incredibly tight, sexy, skinny jeans. As he spoke to Harry he noticed that he had a thick, English accent he hadn't been expecting to hear. He'd assumed the man would be Australian, but that in itself was a silly notion. Harry’s fans followed him all over the world and it wasn't uncommon to speak to someone who wasn't from the country he was performing in. He liked Louis' accent. It was thick and rugged, not soft and posh like Harry's own. He thought maybe he was possibly from the North of England, somewhere near where he grew up, but couldn't quite place it.

He asked Louis if he'd come from home to see the show then, trying to keep him talking, trying to keep him calm. Then he asked if he was in fact seeing the show. Just because he was hiding out in a service entrance didn't mean he was here for him. Maybe the poor bloke had been dragged along against his will. More conversation passed between them after that. Louis making a sarcastic comment about Harry being posh having grown up in Holmes Chapel. He'd started to open up to Harry and  Harry liked the fact that Louis was treating him just like he'd treat one of his friends. Could he be friends with Louis? Harry couldn't see why not. Sure hanging out and doing normal stuff would happen few and far between, but it would be nice to have a friend for once who wasn't simply in it for the cash and the cars and the glory of it all.

Harry expressed to Louis how refreshing it was to be treated like one of the lads, like a friend or just a regular human being. Louis had a quick wit and Harry found himself joking back with him. Louis had gone a magnificent shade of red and clapped a tattooed hand to his mouth when the topic of screaming adoring fans had come up. Harry had the feeling he'd tried hard to suppress the blush creeping onto his face, so Harry acted as though he hadn't noticed. Harry had choked back a laugh when Louis had insinuated Harry wasn't even attracted to women. It also clarified to Harry that Louis wasn't attracted to them either and he was oddly relieved by the admission. He was right of course, and Harry had simply winked at him showing off his killer, dimpled smile as a way of answering. The conversation flowed on between them after that, both being able to make easy conversation, never lulling into awkward silence.

"So what do you do for work Louis? If it's too personal a question after only meeting me a few minutes ago I'll understand if you don't want to answer," Harry said.

"No it's fine Harry, really. It would be a bit unfair of me not to share. After all, we all know what it is you do for work," Louis replied through a laugh.

Harry smiled at Louis. He was right. All a person had to do was type Harry Styles into Google and they'd know just about everything there was to know about him. His height, weight, eye colour, hair colour, where, when and at what time he'd been born, his parents names, sister's name, where he lived then and now, how many properties and cars he owned and how much he'd paid for them. The list was endless. But Google didn't know the important things. Some of his fans seemed to catch on. Harry liked to be subtly loud about personal details of his life during shows or interviews, then troll Twitter on his fake fan account to see how many fans picked up on what he'd done. It would sometimes be as simple as a few song lyrics, the colour he wore, a book he read or a sly cheeky gesture on stage. It kept Harry entertained and he liked to think that his truly devoted fans knew the real him.

"That's true I suppose, there's not a lot about me you can't find out from Google," Harry replied. He smiled but it never reached his eyes.

"I'm sure that Google doesn't know the real Harry Styles, though. Anyone can own a posh LA mansion or a pricey sports car. That doesn't make a person. It's what’s in there that really matters," Louis said touching a hand gently to Harry's chest over his heart. Harry's heart swelled at Louis' words and he felt a lump forming in his throat. Was he even real? He was so kind and saw straight through the media trained, cookie cutter celebrity his management team had made him. Louis saw the real Harry. The Harry he thought no one would ever know or see. Louis continued on, removing his hand from Harry's chest and shoving it roughly through his fringe. Harry bit his lip as he watched him. Why did something so simple make his heart race?

"I'm in the music business too actually. I'm a songwriter," Louis supplied, suddenly going shy and taking an avid interest in his shoes. Harry was pleasantly surprised. Of all the things he'd been expecting Louis to say, that wasn't one of them. A million questions flooded his brain then. Was he a big time writer or did he dabble? If he was in the big leagues why had Harry never heard of him? What songs was he the mastermind behind? But the most pressing question was why did he look embarrassed to say so? Harry brought his fingers up to Louis' chin tilting his head up and forced him to meet his gaze. Blue eyes gazed into green. They stared longingly at each other for a moment and Harry had the sudden urge to lean in and kiss this beautiful man, but he kept his composure, mentally berating himself for thinking that way.

"Hey, what's that look for?" Harry asked.

"Nothing really," Louis shrugged. "It's just only my family and close friends know that's what I do. Normally when people ask I say I'm in music, but don't elaborate. I don't know why I felt I could tell you but I did."

"Why do you keep that from people? Are you embarrassed to be a songwriter?" Harry asked. He thought being a songwriter was a perfectly great profession. Some of his closest friends did the exact same thing.

"No, God no. I love my job. It's just I like people to like me for me, and not because I helped Adele write  _ Hello,"  _ Louis said, scanning Harry's face no doubt waiting for him to react to what he’d just said. Harry gasped, but he could see in Louis' eyes that he was imploring him not to fangirl at the revelation. It was Harry's turn then to be awed.

_ Hello  _ by Adele was still one of the most played songs on the radio. It was beautifully tragic and Harry had always loved the song. He couldn't believe he was standing talking to the man who'd helped create such a hit and suddenly images of  the both of them, snuggled up on a Chesterfield writing beautiful, emotional, raw songs and up tempo, sexy, adventurous songs sprung into his mind.

"You co-wrote  _ Hello _ ? Louis that song is brilliant!" Harry half shouted. He knew it was the opposite of what Louis had wanted him to do, but he had to know how good he was. "But, if I'm not mistaken, you're not credited for  _ Hello _ ,” Harry said. His brows were furrowed as he looked at Louis.

"No, I'm not. I'm not credited officially on any of the songs I write or co-write or advise on. I either sell the copyright for obscene amounts of money, which in itself is totally unnecessary, or simply collect the royalties from them. I like to think of myself as the silent partner of the music industry." Louis supplied conversationally, as if none of that was a big deal at all. Now Harry realised what it may be like for his fans to speak to him, when he talked about playing arena shows to thousands of people so casually. 

Harry was stunned. Why did he not want to be recognised for his work? Why was he happy to hide in the shadows and let other people take the credit for his clearly brilliant mind? Harry tried to ease the tension making what he intended to be a joke, but it came out as a flirty innuendo instead. Harry wasn't too phased either way. He found Louis sexually attractive. He was funny, brilliant and sassy. The pool of heat in his stomach only grew, the tingles and sparks on his skin only gaining in intensity the longer they stood there. It suddenly dawned on Harry that he'd probably been out here much longer than he'd intended to be. But he was Harry Styles. He was allowed to be a few minutes late to his own show if he wanted to. Although he knew fine well he'd high tail it back into the building soon, running around like a mad man to get ready so as not to keep his fans waiting.

"Shit!" Louis yelled then. Harry was brought out of his musings by Louis yelling and frantically trying to fish his ringing phone out of his very, very tight jeans. Harry admired the way they became like a second skin. His thick toned thighs filling and stretching them. He wondered what it would be like to have those thighs wrapped around him, gripping him tightly. He wondered what the soft flesh would feel like under his lips and what colour his skin would turn as he dragged his nails across it.

"Hello!?" Louis rushed as he answered and snapped Harry out of his erotic musings. Harry suppressed a laugh as Louis held up a finger to his lips, effectively silencing him. Louis had sass and Harry noticed as he paced backwards and forwards an ass to go with it. Harry had to get back inside and quickly. He had the sudden urge to change his entire setlist and after checking his watch, realised he only had maybe 45 minutes to run through it with the band if they wanted to do it on stage. That would also mean attempting a setlist change and run through with fans watching on. Mass hysteria was imminent. Mitch would no doubt be pushed to a second bottle of red tonight and Harry was sure he would no doubt be grilled by his sudden need to change it 2.5 hours before he was supposed to go on. "Shit!" Louis yelled again, shoving his hands through his fringe.

"Is everything alright?" Harry asked. 

"Yeah, well it will be so long as I can get my sister to the barrier. She's threatened to personally castrate me if I don’t," Louis said, a hint of sarcasm lacing his words. Harry laughed at the fact that now that Louis was flustered his sassy attitude was making an appearance.

"There'll be no castrating going on tonight, Lou. There's a security guard monitoring the pit tonight. His name is George. I'll let him know you'll be in there with..." Harry paused and let the end of his sentence trail off. He needed to know who Louis with so that he could tell George, and did he just call him Lou? Oh God he did.  Louis realised he was waiting for him to tell him who he was with and quickly answered. 

"Oh I’m with Lottie, Niall, Zayn and Liam. We all have barrier tickets." Harry's smile went wide. 

"Zayn? As in Zayn Malik?" he asked. He was surprised that Louis knew him, but he shouldn't be given Louis’ profession. That’s probably how he knew him. 

"Um, yeah that's him," Louis replied. He had a look of confusion on his face as to how Harry knew who it was he was referring to, but stayed silent and waited for Harry to continue.

"He didn't tell me he was coming! You all need to come back stage after the show. It's a must. And I'll have no arguments." Harry quickly said as he seen the look of disbelief on Louis' face. It was amusing, but Harry tried not to laugh at him. "Think of it as a birthday present from me for Lottie,” Harry continued on, trying to ease some of the tension that was evident in Louis’ shoulders.  “Anyway I need to head back in. I'll tell George to make sure you're all up the front and to bring you back stage afterwards. He's wearing glasses and a black tour shirt you can't miss him. Just tell him your name when you get in there and he'll sort you guys out." Harry felt satisfied, the look of awe and utter disbelief still firmly on Louis' face as he finished.

"Thank you, Harry. You really don't have to go to all this trouble. Although if I end up castrated it will be your fault," Louis said with a smile. Harry knew he didn’t have to, but he wanted to. If anything it would give him an excuse to see Louis again.

"So what your saying is, that your balls are in my hands?" Harry asked. Where that had come from he had no idea, but Louis’ reaction had been worth it. Louis mouth hit the ground at his flirty comment and it was in that moment Harry knew that changing his setlist was exactly what he needed to do. And he needed to do it now. "It's ok Lou. Your balls are safe with me," Harry rushed out as fast as he could before Louis had a chance to answer, and with that he turned around and headed back inside the building, offering Louis a cheeky grin as he disappeared behind the door.

 


	5. Setlists, Hip Thrusts And Happy Birthdays

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The show is finally here. Harry gets some inspiration to change his set list. Stage hoe Harry rises. Hip thrusts and a very wet Harry ensue and Louis can't remember how to breathe.

Harry ran at breakneck speed back down the hallway to his dressing room, cold tea sloshing from his cup as he went. He pulled his phone out of his pocket as he ran, quickly texting the band as he went along.  
  
 ** _C. H. A. S. M_** ** _  
_** ** _  
_** ** _Haz:_** _Hey guys and Mitch. I need to speak to you all ASAP! Meet me at my dressing room in 5 :) H x_ _  
_  
Harry continued to run, not stopping to check if anyone had replied and skidded to a halt in front of his dressing room. He shoved his way inside and deposited his now empty cup on the small table and rummaged in his messenger bag looking for his setlist. He should know this by heart and usually he did, but his encounter with Louis had his head in a spin. His phone pinged four times one after the other then, reminding him that he'd messaged Claire, Sarah, Adam and Mitch. Someone or multiple someone's had replied, so he opened his phone and the message. He covered his eyes with his hand and peeped through his fingers knowing the response probably wouldn't be the best.  
  
 ** _Mitch:_** _What did you do Haz!? I'm not drunk enough whatever it is._ _  
_  
 ** _Jonesy:_** _Haz... This better not be anything major. Worried :/_  
  
 ** _Adam:_** _Don't tell me, you want to do something crazy and drastic 2 hrs before the show._ _  
_  
 ** _Claire:_** _Remind me why I'm in this band again?_ _  
_  
Harry had to laugh at them. He knew they were all right and yet they knew what they'd signed up for. They worked really well as a team and to Harry they were more like four annoying teenage siblings than band mates.  
  
 ** _Haz:_** _No you're not, yes, yes, and coz you wouldn't have it any other way <3 :)_ _  
_  
The replies were instantaneous.  
  
 ** _Mitch:_** _HAZ!_ _  
_  
 ** _Adam:_** _HAZ!_ _  
_  
 ** _Claire:_** _HARRY!_ _  
_  
 ** _Jonesy:_** _HARRY! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!?_ __  
  
Harry didn't reply and decided to let them stew as they made their way from wherever in the arena they were to his dressing room. He'd had no luck finding his setlist in his bag, so he rummaged through a stack of papers on the desk. Yellow post it notes, odd shaped scraps of paper and pens all flew to the floor in his desperate attempt to find it.

****

He wanted to have the setlist revised and done before Mitch, Adam, Claire and Sarah got there so there'd be less arguing. He figured if he was organised they'd be more likely to agree. Harry, however, was having no luck finding the illusive list. That was until it dawned on him that he'd saved it to a memo on his phone, knowing fine well at some point the hard copy would grow legs and walk away without him. As he pulled up the memo he scanned over his choices quickly.   
  
**_SET LIST._ **   
**_Melbourne Hisense Arena_ **   
**_24th April 2018_ **

**_Start Time : 9pm_ **   
  
**_Rock Me_ ** **_  
_ ** **_What Makes You Beautiful_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Act My Age_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Story of my Life_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Stole my Heart_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Gotta Be You_ ** **_  
_ ** **_I Would_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Torn (Cover)_ ** **_  
_ ** **_  
_ ** **_90 SECOND BREAK_ ** **_  
_ ** **_  
_ ** **_One Way or Another (Cover)_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Best Song Ever_ ** **_  
_ **   
Most of them could stay, but Louis had him flustered and hot under the collar. Harry decided what better way to return the favour, than to sing every song in his arsenal he could think of that would make Louis squirm. Harry decided to axe two slower songs from the set,  _ Gotta Be You _ and  _ Torn _ and add in  _ Girl Almighty  _ for Louis' sister,  _ Does He Know _ and  _ You Shook Me All Night Long _ . The set would now only be one song longer at the encore and the band were familiar with all of the songs. Harry was confident they'd be fine with it. It was the last show of the tour so why not make it one to remember.   
  
As if by magic the four other members entered the room just as Harry was finishing up. He looked up and smiled at them all and was met by four worried, anxious and exasperated faces. To be fair he had a knack of changing things and doing crazy things last minute, so he couldn't really blame them.   
  
"So," Harry began clasping his hands together. "I've changed the set list."

  
____________

  
  
Louis took off at run, sprinting across Olympic Park back to the main entrance of the arena. He was thankful that he was a fast runner and hoped that telling the gang that he'd managed to secure barrier regardless of when they got in there would placate them. He rounded the corner of the massive building and scanned the merch stall for them. They were nowhere to be seen, but he finally spotted his group in the steadily growing line. He jogged to a stop in front of them and slid under the barrier attracting glares from people behind them in the line. He had to admit, being short had its advantages. Lottie looked livid and rounded on him as soon as he'd made it into the line. 

"What the hell Lou!? What time do you call this!? The opening act is starting in an hour and we aren’t even in the bloody arena yet! You've been gone for over half an hour!" she screamed. Her hands were flailing around in the air and she even stomped her foot for dramatic affect. 

Niall looked at her with something akin to admiration, whilst Liam and Zayn sniggered behind their hands. Louis could see the time on Liam's watch, it was already 6.45pm and who knows how long it would take to get in there. They still had to get a locker for their stuff, do the mandatory group bathroom stop and get drinks. He was in deep shit now, but hoped his surprise would be enough to save his manhood. If not, it'd be on Harry's head. Louis rolled his eyes at her. She always was one for the dramatics. Although, he was known to do it too so he really shouldn't be surprised. He smirked at her only adding to her fury knowing only one way to calm her down.   
  
"So I guess you won't be wanting to come backstage with me after we've seen the show from the barrier then?" he questioned. Lottie stopped in her tracks and all four of them stared at him.   
  
"Did you say backstage!?" Lottie squealed. "Don't be a smart ass Lou. If this is your idea of a joke it's not funny."   
  
"I'm being deadly serious. All five of us will be going backstage with Harry after the show." He felt smug and deservedly so. He'd almost had a heart attack when Harry had walked right into him, to be fair it was the least he could do. "I have it on good authority that a Security Guard called George will be making sure we are all at the barrier regardless of how long it takes us to get in there and will be escorting us backstage after the show." Everyone except Zayn looked as though they may spontaneously combust, but Harry had alluded to knowing Zayn so maybe that was the reason.   
  
Slowly they shuffled closer and closer to the front of the line. Lottie, as promised, was wearing a white tour shirt with a large, extremely sexy picture of Harry on the front. Niall was sporting a yellow  _ Treat People With Kindness  _ t-shirt, Zayn had  _ TPWK  _ bands and Liam had gone for the Rubik's cube tee. Lottie had reluctantly handed over a bag with an oversized, baby pink hoodie in it and Louis couldn't wait to try it on. Wearing it now seemed like suicide as it would already be like a furnace inside the arena, so he kept it in the bag, vowing to savour the moment later. After a further half an hour of shuffling closer and closer to the entrance, they finally reached the doors and handed their tickets over to the ticketing lady. She smiled at them brightly, scanning their tickets before she ushered them inside. This was it. Show time.   
  
____________

  
  
Harry was met by stunned silence before all of them began screaming and yelling at once. He smiled to himself and held both of his hands out to the side, moving them in a forward circular motion, signalling them to keep going and let it all out. After another five minutes of this, after Claire had slumped into a chair in defeat and Mitch had magically produced a glass of wine he was slugging out of, Harry had had enough.   
  
"Shhhhhhhhhhh!" he said dramatically swooping his hand in the hair to silence them. To his relief it worked. He only wished it worked that well on the crowd. He didn't have time for this. He still had to go over the set list with them, notify his team, notify sound and lighting, make sure he got a message to George about Louis and find an outfit. And all of this had to be done in just shy of 2 hrs. "Right," he continued once they were all quiet. 

"As I said, I've decided to change the set list. I was thinking it over and there were too many slow songs. This is a concert not a funeral march. So I've taken out Torn and Gotta Be You and I've added in Girl Almighty, Does He Know and You Shook Me All Night Long." None of them spoke but signalled that Harry had their full attention so he pressed on. "Girl Almighty will be after Stole My Heart. Does He Know will be after I Would and You Shook Me All Night Long will be before Best Song Ever during the encore. The set is now one song longer but we all know them, we're all confident with them and I just feel it will make the show better. It's the last show. We need to go out with a bang!"   
  
Harry was convinced this was the quickest he'd ever spoken in his life, all too aware of the pressing time constraints he'd now imposed on himself. Louis shouldn't have affected him the way he had, but the feeling was all consuming. He couldn't shake the feeling of Louis' hand on his chest, or the way his eyes looked when they crinkled when he smiled. He was all Harry could think about and he wasn't exactly sure that was bad thing. Adam spoke first.

"That doesn't sound too drastic, Haz. Your message made it sound like you wanted to move the stage or cancel the show or something. Honestly I think the set will be much better this way. What do you guys think?"   
  
"I agree. Those songs are much more upbeat, the crowd will love it. But why the sudden change?" Sarah asked.   
  
"I had a little... Inspiration," Harry said. He didn't want a lecture over Louis or wandering off without security, so he decided to leave that part out. They'd work it out for themselves soon enough.   
  
"Well, whatever your reason, it sounds good to me. I just wish your moment of clarity had come a little earlier," Claire laughed. Mitch just sighed exasperatedly and continued to drink his wine.   
  
"So do we need to do an on stage run through? I know they're letting people into the arena but we can make it work if we need to," Harry said.   
  
"No need Haz, we know the songs well enough. Just notify sound and lighting and we'll be good to go. No need to incite mass hysteria," Adam replied. Harry sighed in relief. He hadn't been looking forward to having to redo the sound check with fans already filing into the arena. He thanked them profusely then, and they all set off to get ready for the show.   
  
Harry tracked down his assistant Tay after the rest of the band had left, and asked her to notify sound and lighting of the changes to the setlist and to track down George. He relayed to her what he needed done and she hurried off through the arena to do as he'd asked. He always felt terrible when he asked her to do things for him last minute, but also knew that was her job. He was never demanding and tried to give her as much notice as possible if he needed her to do things, but right now that was a luxury he didn't have. He returned to his dressing room once more running his fingers through his hair. He knew he'd be notified when sound and lighting and George were informed of the changes so now all that was left was the biggest decision of the night. What to wear.   
  
__________   
  
After queueing up for another half an hour Louis and the gang had managed to obtain a locker and hastily squeezed all of their purchases, excess clothing and personal items into it. It was already 8:15pm and they'd missed over half of the opening act. Louis felt a little guilty. He knew that many people weren't there for the opening act, not really caring about seeing them, but Louis liked to show his appreciation when it came to up and coming local support bands. Harry clearly thought that they were good enough, he'd chosen them to open for him after all and Louis felt everyone should show them the appreciation they deserved.   
  
He could hear their songs echoing around the arena and blaring through the speakers. They sounded really good and he was sorry he hadn't been able to see their set. They made their way quickly down the halls of the arena, following signs to the nearest toilets all quickly filing in. There wasn't a massive line up as it was nearing time for Harry to come on stage, so they were all in and out in a matter of minutes. They passed by the food and drinks stall next, all getting a beer and then headed off into the main stage area. There was a runway of sorts cutting a path straight through the floor seats that led to the floor standing section in front of the stage. 

By the time they'd made it down to their section the opening act had left and a selection of songs was blaring around them. The house lights were up and that had made it easier for Louis to spot George, the Security Guard Harry had mentioned earlier. Harry had been spot on in his description. George was a middle aged man about Louis' height. He was wearing silver framed, square glasses and a black tour shirt exactly like Lottie was wearing. As Louis and the others moved through the crowd nearing him, he met Louis' gaze and smiled. Clearly Harry had described Louis to him just as he'd described George to Louis. Louis introduced himself as he came to a stop in front of him.

  
"Hi, George is it? I'm Louis Tomlinson nice to meet you."

"Ah yes, young Louis. Harry told me to expect you. Is this your party?" he asked indicating to the four others behind Louis.

"Yes they're with me," Louis said with a smile.   
  
George gestured for them to follow him as he led the way. Near the very front of the section, right at the barrier there was a small opening. He gestured for Louis, Lottie and the boys to go through and it was then Louis realised that a whole section had be reserved just for them, marked out on the floor by small yellow cones. Once they were all behind the barrier George removed the cones from the floor and exited the pit, shuffling the barrier closer together so they blended seamlessly into the gathering crowd.   
  
Lottie chose to stand in the corner where the front barrier met the extended platform. She was so close she could touch it and took the opportunity to snap a picture of the moment. The stage was long and seemed to fill the space between the left and right seating sections of the arena. The standing crowd was split in two by a section of it that extended out. It wasn't an overly long catwalk, but enough for Harry to become a part of the crowd that stood around it. Louis liked that Harry had made the conscious decision to arrange the stage that way. It meant that the fans felt as though they were a part of the experience and didn't make Harry look as though he wanted to remain separate from them.   
  
Louis recalled their conversation from earlier and how Harry had visibly recoiled at the mention of thousands of adoring fans, but Louis knew it wasn't because he didn't appreciate them. Up on that stage Harry was the star attraction. A beam of bright light that illuminated everything in his path. Louis knew he engaged with the crowd, hyping them up to almost hysterical proportions. But when he wasn't on the stage, Louis felt that it all maybe became too much. Harry gave off the feeling that he was a very private person. That he only let people know what he wanted them to know about him and reserved a special part of him just for himself.   
  
Louis could appreciate that. He was the same if he was honest. But somehow he'd felt it ok to share that part of himself with Harry, however briefly and in return, had felt Harry had done the same. Suddenly the crowd went wild as an upbeat acoustic guitar and a deep rumbling voice spread around the arena. Louis wasn't quite sure which song was playing until ten and a half thousand people were chanting the lyrics. Liam was beside himself after realising they hadn't missed it and Louis chimed in with gusto after finally deciphering what he was hearing.   
  
**_... And all of your friends said I'd be leaving you,_ ** **_  
_ ** **_She's lying in bed with my t shirt on_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Just thinking how I went about it wrong_ ** **_  
_ ** **_This isn't the stain of red wine, I'm bleeding love_ ** **_  
_ **   
The crowd grew louder as the bridge carried them into the chorus. As soon as the the first word of the chorus had been sung the entire crowd was on their feet singing and jumping to the music.

**_I live for you, I long for you, Olivia! (hey, hey)_ **

**_I’ve been idolising the light in your eyes, Olivia! (hey, hey)_ **

**_I live for you, I long for you, Olivia!_ **

**_Don’t let me go!_ **

**_Don’t let me go!_ **

  
The rest of the song continued on in this fashion until a thunderous cheer signalled the end. Louis stole a second to think how Harry must be feeling right now at hearing tens of thousands of people screaming and singing his song back to him and he wasn't even on the stage yet.   
  
Louis felt a large wave of pride wash over him. Something about it didn't sit right with him though. It was a feeling he'd only ever felt once before and it took him by surprise. He was shocked and confused, not entirely sure why or how he was feeling the way he was. The last time Louis had felt like this was when his ex, long time boyfriend had received an award for Young Entrepreneur of the Year. His heart had swelled and he'd felt like he could burst. But what scared Louis most about how he felt was the realisation that he'd loved Ben. That, that magnitude of pride had been felt for someone he'd loved. This could not be happening.   


____________   
  


Harry had showered, had his hair done and was now dressed. He was sure his stylist Lana had been ready to throttle him after changing his outfit more times than he dared admit. She'd stomped around his dressing room yelling at him in French every time he'd tried on an outfit and decided he didn't like it. He'd laughed at her as she'd become more frustrated with him, but scooped her up into a hug, kissing the top of her head when he'd finally decided on one. She never judged Harry for his outfit choices and was always more than happy to purchase any shirt, hat, Chelsea boot or head scarf he swooned over. He counted her as a friend and always felt thankful that she was so good to him.   
  
He'd wanted to look confident and sexy and had chosen the most revealing outfit he dared wear at an all ages show. He hoped it would have the desired effect on Louis and couldn't wait to see his reaction. Harry felt restless and agitated. Usually he was cool and calm before shows, but tonight he couldn't seem to keep still. He was jogging up and down a staircase that led to the upper levels of the arena, small beads of sweat forming on his brow. Harry knew he probably looked like an idiot, he knew he felt like an idiot, but he couldn't stop himself. He was going to look like a hot mess by the time he even got on stage, but maybe that would just add to the overall look he'd been going for.   
  
He came to an abrupt halt half way up the set of stairs he'd been jogging up as a thunderous roar sounded out around the arena. Ten thousand voices strong began singing _ Olivia _ and he couldn't help the face splitting grin. He turned back around and headed down the stairs and in the direction of the stage. There were only a few songs left of his pre show setlist and it was almost time for him to make his appearance. Harry reached the door that would lead him to a section under the stage. As he slowly opened it, the sound of the crowd multiplied, having been previously muffled by the arena walls. Rod, his sound technician, was there to greet him as he entered. Harry shook his hand and took his mic pack from him. He fitted the belt low around his hips and adjusted the pack so that it fit comfortably against his lower back. Rod then helped Harry awkwardly push his ear pieces under his shirt, the thin wire tickling the skin of his back, until they appeared out of the collar of his shirt. He put them in his ears and made sure they were in a position that wouldn't become uncomfortable and was handed his mic.   
  
Harry did a quick vocal warm up next, agitatedly twiddling the rings on his long, slender fingers. He slowly flipped his mic over and over in his hands, pacing backwards and forwards under the stage.   
Adam, Sarah, Claire and Mitch were already on stage. He knew the crowd couldn't see them as the house lights had been turned off sending the arena into darkness. The entire arena had screamed and cheered knowing it was almost time. The last line of the last pre show song ended and Harry hastily brought his silver cross necklace between his lips. He said a silent prayer to himself, closing his eyes and taking a few deep breaths. He ruffled his curly hair forward then swept the front back from his face, before walking forward onto a small platform. This was it. The last show of the tour was about to start and he'd never been more ready.   
  
___________

  
  
The last lines of a smooth instrumental song Louis didn't recognise ended and the arena plunged into sudden darkness. The crowd squealed as one as soon as darkness engulfed them, the only light coming from the giant screens either side of the stage. Louis was practically vibrating with excitement and again a strange feeling of pride washed over him. The same feeling of pride he'd no doubt get if that was Lottie standing up there. A feeling of pride and immense joy at seeing someone you love do what they love. Shit. Louis' mind was reeling. This couldn't be happening. He was having a quarter life crisis. A half hour of flirtatious conversation hardly equalled love, and yet Louis knew that was the emotion he was feeling. That was the emotion twisting his stomach in knots. The emotion that made his skin tingle and a shockwave of electricity race up his spine. He couldn't contain it and the more he tried to lock it away, the harder it fought to be free.   
  
He took a large, deep breath trying to steady himself and calm his wayward thoughts but was quickly snapped out of it when the stage lights illuminated, sending beams of light dancing across the crowd. Smoke filled the stage and a steady drum beat sounded. The crowd went wild screaming and cheering. Soon all that could be heard through the arena was the steady beat the band played and the sounds of ten thousand hands and feet keeping time. It continued on and on until through the lights and smoke a figure began to appear. At first only Harry's head could be seen, slowly rising up out of the stage. As his shoulders cleared the floor of the stage he raised his arms wide above his head, his head thrown backwards.   
  
The crowd erupted and Louis stood motionless. He'd stopped clapping and stomping his feet in time at the sight of him. His heart was racing and he could feel it pounding against his ribs. His breath was coming in shallow bursts and all he could do was stare. It was like watching the second coming of Christ. Like they'd all gathered to watch the Messiah set them free. Louis wasn't a religious man by any stretch, but he soon realised why some fans had gone as far as describing a Harry Styles concert as a religious experience.   
  
As soon as Harry's feet cleared the stage bright red and green lights lit up the stage and platform and he launched into the song. It was then that the lights evened out and the crowd was able to get a look at him for the first time. Louis' jaw hit the floor as he took in the sight before him. Harry was standing at the start of the platform closest to the main stage in front of a mic stand Louis hadn't noticed before. He was holding the stand in both hands, in the way that made Louis weak at the knees. He was truly a sight to behold.   
  
**_Do you remember summer 09?_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Wanna go back there every night_ ** **_  
_ ** **_  
_ ** His legs were clad in impossibly tight, black skinny jeans. They sat low on his hips, a little too low for an all ages show Louis thought, but he wasn't complaining. Black Chelsea boots extended his height another few inches and his hair looked wild and untamed and Louis wanted nothing more than to run his fingers through it.   
  
**_Just can't lie_ ** **_  
_ ** **_It was the best time of my life_ ** **_  
_ **   
The highlight of the outfit was by far the shirt Harry had chosen. It had silk black sleeves, that he'd rolled up similar to how Louis had his and a matching back panel.   
  
**_Lying on the beach as the sun blew out_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Playing this guitar by the fire too loud_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Oh my my they could never shut us down_ ** **_  
_ **   
The front however was sheer black material that wasn't even worth being called that. It was littered with red flowers but besides that, the front did nothing to cover him.   
  
**_I used to think that I was better alone_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Why did I ever wanna let you go_ ** **_  
_ **   
He wore it open till a few inches above his belly button, his swallow and butterfly tattoos standing out in stark relief against his porcelain skin. His Laurel leaves also on show through the thin fabric.   
  
**_Under the moonlight as we stared at the sea_ ** **_  
_ ** **_The words you whispered I will always believe_ ** **_  
_ **   
Louis couldn't help but stare and gasped as he felt his cock twitch at the sight of Harry. It was at this point that Harry breathed the end of the line he was singing and locked eyes with Louis, pulling his bottom lip between his teeth. A look of pure lust and sexual tension written on his face. Louis groaned and was thankful that no one could hear or was paying attention to him as at that moment with one look from Harry, his cock was instantly hard.   
  
____________

  
  
Harry locked eyes with Louis in the crowd. He'd chosen a perfect spot for them to stand and he could see Louis from pretty much everywhere on stage. Even if he moved past him onto the platform Louis would still have a perfect view of his ass. Harry punched downward with the mic stand at the end of each line in the chorus, his hair moving wildly and falling into his eyes. He brushed a hand through it moving it back from his face, but it did nothing to stop one loose curl curving onto his forehead and down the side of his cheek. He saw the way Louis watched his every move as he thrust himself around the stage. He stopped more often than not directly in front of Louis and his group and had to force himself to other parts of the stage.   
  
As the song reached the guitar solo he yelled into the mic, "Scream Melbourne!" and the entire arena erupted.   
  
He lifted the mic stand up off of the stage by the base and walked over to where Louis was standing as the solo came to an end. He balanced the base of the mic stand against his left hip and held it out to the crowd. He mouthed along to the chorus letting the crowd sing and placing his left hand behind his head he thrust his hips forwards to the beat of the music. Harry looked down to Louis and winked before singing the last part of the song, noting that Louis looked as though he might pass out. Every girl in a 10 metre radius around him had squealed and cheered but Louis had stood motionless, rooted to the spot. Harry smirked at himself as the song came to an end. He was having the effect on Louis he'd wanted,  but he also felt a little guilty. He wanted Louis to have fun and enjoy himself. Not be stood frozen in place at Harry's half nakedness and cheeky dance moves.

Harry sang  _ What Makes You Beautiful _ ,  _ Act My Age _ and  _ Story of My Life _ in quick succession. He'd seen Louis, what he assumed was his sister, Zayn and two other boys jumping and dancing as horribly as he was to  _ Act My Age _ . He was sure the blonde lad with them had even been doing an Irish jig and Harry was relieved to see that they were all having a great time. As  _ Story of My Life  _ came to an end he strolled over to near where Sarah's drum kit was set up, grabbing a bottle of water and taking a drink from it. He then moved back down the stage to the start of the platform and stopped as the song ended. The crowd screamed and cheered and he held his hands up to them waving and blowing kisses.   
  
"Good evening Melbourne!" Harry shouted into the mic. The crowd went wild and he smiled, his dimples on show for all to see. "My name is Harry, thank you so much for choosing to spend your evening with us. Is everyone having a good time!" The crowd went wild at Harry’s words. "I said, is everyone having a good time!" The crowd screamed louder and Harry felt euphoric. It didn't matter how many times he'd done this or how many more times he'd do it, the rush of being on stage never wavered.   
  
It was his own personal drug of choice and he didn't think he'd ever kick the habit. He felt confident and alive on stage. He felt his most at home here being able to express himself however he chose. There wasn't a lot management could do to stop him when he was live on stage and he took full advantage of the fact. He'd been walking about the stage, up and down the platform as he spoke and had again come to a stop in front of Louis. With a smile he launched into the next part of the speech he'd prepared and the look of thanks and was that love? Louis gave him was worth every word.   
  
__________

  
  
"I can see you on this side," Harry said and everyone on the left hand side of the arena screamed.   
  
"I can see you on this side," Harry said, pointing to the right hand side as cheers erupted.   
  
"I can see you at the back," more cheers and screams.   
  
"And all over the floor."   
  
Everyone around Louis screamed and cheered and Lottie almost deafened him. Louis was smiling up at Harry and was happy to see Harry smiling back at him.   
  
"There's a beautiful girl down the front here, wearing a very nice t-shirt. What does that say?" Harry said pointing towards Louis' group and pretending to lean forwards to get a better look. "Harry Styles Live On Tour, Melbourne," Harry finished and the crowd cheered and whistled. "She also has a very sparkly sash on that says Birthday Princess." Lottie grabbed onto Louis arm digging her nails in not realising she had such a tight grip on him. She'd obviously done the same to Niall who was standing next to her as he had a pained look on his face.   
  
He patted Lottie's hand gently as Harry continued to speak. He watched as soft tears rolled down her cheeks. He knew they were happy tears and he vowed to thank Harry later for making Lottie's night so special.   
  
"What's your name?" Harry asked.   
  
"Lottie!" she shouted back.   
  
"Lottie?" Harry asked making sure he'd heard correctly and Louis nodded at him confirming. Harry smiled at Louis, a look of thanks on his face. Harry had always been rubbish at getting the fans names correct and he was glad he'd managed to get it right the first time.   
  
"How old are you today, Lottie?" Harry continued even though he already knew who she was and how old she was turning.    
  
"18!" Niall yelled as Lottie was too overcome with emotion to speak.   
  
"Hey, don't cry love. It's your birthday!" Harry said. "It's Lottie's 18th birthday today," he went on speaking to the crowd at large. "On three I want you to help me sing her Happy Birthday." The crowd cheered. "OK, on three. One. Two. Three..." and the whole crowd launched into song and Harry was strutting about the stage in front of Louis kicking his leg like he was in  a chorus line at the end of every line. When the song finished the crowd cheered and squealed and his "Happy Birthday Lottie, this next song is for you. This. Is. Girl Almighty!" could barely be heard over them. He blew her a kiss and winked at Louis before returning to the main part of the stage as the songs intro began.   
  
**_Hey hey!_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Oh no no no_ ** **_  
_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Her light is as loud as, as many ambulances as it takes to save a saviour, oh_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Woah Woah Woah_ ** **_  
_ ** **_  
_ ** Louis hugged Lottie to his side and swayed along to the music as Harry sang. He ran his arm up and down her side comforting her. Niall was fidgeting beside him and Louis passed her over to him knowing he needed to comfort her too.   
  
**_She floats through the room on a big balloon_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Some say she's such a fake that her love is made up, no_ ** **_  
_ ** **_No no no_ ** **_  
_ **   
Louis was incredibly thankful for all that Harry had done for himself, his sister and his friends. He'd gone above and beyond anything he needed to do.   
  
**_Let's have another toast to the girl almighty_ ** **_  
_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Let's pray we stay young stay made of lightning_ ** **_  
_ **   
Harry hadn't had to have a half our long conversation with Louis earlier. Harry hadn't had to make sure that Louis and his group made it to the barrier. Harry hadn't had to single Lottie out of the crowd and wish her Happy Birthday. Harry hadn't had to ask ten thousand people to help him sing Happy Birthday to her and he hadn't had to invite them all back stage afterwards and yet, he had.   
  
**_Am I the only_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Only believer_ ** **_  
_ **   
Harry had done all of those things for Louis out of the kindness of his heart and at that moment Louis honestly could say that if one person had gotten their slogan spot on it was Harry.   
  
**_There's something happening here_ ** **_  
_ ** **_There's something happening here_ ** **_  
_ ** **_  
_ ** He treated everyone he met with kindness and went out of his way to make people happy expecting nothing but the gift of a smile in return.   
  
**_Am I the only_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Only believer_ ** **_  
_ ** **_  
_ ** **_There's something happening here_ ** **_  
_ ** **_I hope you feel what I'm feeling too_ ** **_  
_ **   
Louis continued to stare up at him as he danced along to the song. A small tear slipped down his cheek and his smile could not be moved from his face even if he'd wanted it to.   
  
**_I get down_ ** **_  
_ ** **_I get down_ ** **_  
_ ** **_I get down on my knees for you_ ** **_  
_ ** **_  
_ ** **_I get down_ ** **_  
_ ** **_I get down_ ** **_  
_ ** **_I get down on my knees_ ** **_  
_ ** **_I get down on my knees for you_ **   
  
At the last line Harry slowly dropped to his knees pumping his hands into the air. He slowly began to stand up and as he looked up he met Louis' gaze. I'm a moment of bravery Louis took the opportunity to blow Harry a kiss and Harry pretended to catch it and stuff it into the back pocket of his jeans. Everyone around Louis looked confused as to what Harry was doing as they hadn't seen Louis. Louis' heart warmed at the way Harry was being flirty and playful. His skin was still tingly and he still felt as though he had one hundred butterflies occupying his stomach. But above all else, he felt as though Harry was singing just for him and he wasn't entirely sure how that realisation made him feel.   
  
Harry had continued on with the rest of his set, taking a ninety second dramatic break to an deafening chorus of ‘Encore! Encore! Encore!’ from the crowd. He'd appeared shortly after and gave a small speech to the crowd, imploring them to dance and go crazy with him for the remainder of the set. After prancing, gyrating and dad dancing his way through the next two songs, he'd grabbed a bottle of water and run to the end of the main stage stopping in front of where Louis stood. As the opening riff of  _ Best Song Ever _ began Harry winked at Louis cheekily, before throwing his head back and raising the bottle of water above him.   
  
Louis gasped as he realised what Harry was about to do. No sooner had the thought entered Louis’ head and Harry was tipping the bottle of water over himself to the sound of the arena screaming, cheering and wolf whistling. Just before the bottle was empty he took a sip and threw the remainder into the crowd. He shook his head to clear the water from his face and strutted down the platform to the opening lines. Louis’ heart was racing. He was jumping and singing to the song along with everyone else there, but all his mind could think of was a soaking wet Harry standing before him in all his glory.   
  
Louis couldn't believe he'd been this lucky. To have met Harry and made some sort of connection with him. He wasn't quite sure what that entailed, but it wouldn't be long before they'd all be back stage with him and secretly Louis hoped that the wet shirt was still firmly attached to his body when they arrived. 


	6. Heartache, Selfies And Passionate Kisses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis feels like the 5th wheel. After show blues drag up old hurt. The gang go back stage and Harry and Louis share their first kiss.

The house lights were up, the smoke had started to clear and everywhere Louis looked there were huddles of hysterical girls and women trying to console each other. Louis even seen some Dad's, husbands, boyfriends and brothers hugging their precious girls tightly.

It was a common sight after most big concerts. The adrenalin abruptly ended, the ringing in your ears seemed louder and the body didn't quite know what to do after being abruptly stripped of the adrenalin rush.

Seeing your idol and the realisation that you were here, you saw them, you sang with them, you danced with them and now it was suddenly over made for an arena full of people suffering through post concert blues.

Louis was happy to see that his group were still in high spirits. Niall had assured them the night was far from over with and his infectious personality was hard to ignore.

Lottie had regained her composure during the end of the set and was now laughing and animatedly recounting all her favourite moments to Niall. He hung on her every word and smiled and nodded at all the appropriate places.

Zayn and Liam were huddled close together and Louis noticed them sharing fond looks and soft touches. He'd assumed they were just friends but maybe there was more between them. He hoped there was, they made a very attractive couple.

Louis felt like a fifth wheel, standing between the other four. He didn't have someone special he could share his experience with, to laugh with or smile fondly at. And the one person he'd found himself wanting to share it with was the one person in the world that was so utterly unattainable.

He found himself replaying his favourite parts of the night on a loop in his head. The way Harry had winked and smiled. The way he'd thrust his hips at the audience. The way he'd cheekily straddled the mic stand and slowly brought it up between his legs and the way he'd dragged his thumb down the side of his lip and sucked on his thumb during a particularly naughty line in You Shook Me All Night Long.

It hadn't been the quality of his vocals, or the cheering crowd, or his adorable dad dancing, or even that he'd sung his favourite song that had been Louis' favourite part. It had been all of the downright sexy, hard on inducing things Harry had done and he secretly hoped he'd done them all for him.

A smouldering fire reignited in Louis at the thought and his cock began to twitch and respond to the images flooding his mind. Louis' breath became shallow and his palms became sweaty. Suddenly he wasn't so sure that going back stage was such a good idea.

Louis was turned on by the mere thought of Harry and he wasn't entirely sure he'd be able to hide it. Especially not in the jeans he was wearing. He was about to suggest to the group that he skip the meet and greet when a hand tapped him lightly on the shoulder.

Louis turned to face the person standing behind him and was met with a smiling George.  
"Is your party ready to head back stage Louis?" he asked with a smile.  
Shit. It was too late for Louis to change his mind now. He looked to the others and spoke.  
"You lot ready to go?" he asked trying to keep his voice and his breath even.

"More than ready," Lottie answered. Her eyes were alight with excitement and if going back stage and suffering awkwardly in Harry's presence made her this happy then that's what he'd do.

The others nodded their agreement and George moved the barrier for them so they could exit the pit. Lottie walked hand in hand with Niall, Zayn and Liam following suit and Louis simply walked along behind them in silence.

Louis suddenly felt very lonely. Maybe it was the after concert blues souring his mood but he knew deep down it was more than that.

Louis hadn't had someone to call his own for a long time now. His last serious relationship had been with Ben. He'd thought that Ben had been it for him, the proverbial "one". But his future with him had come crashing down around him when he'd found Ben balls deep in his business partner.

Louis had been devastated. He'd loved Ben and thought Ben had loved him too but it was made clear to Louis that day the feeling hadn't been mutual.

He'd hooked up with a few men since then. Random one night encounters or short term flings, nothing serious or lasting not wanting to open himself up to more heartache and rejection. He'd had some fun times but he'd never wanted or needed it to be more than that.

For the last few years he'd simply not let anyone in at all. He hadn't felt the touch of a man in so long he had trouble remembering what it was even like. He couldn't remember what it was like to be kissed or touched or held.

But now, seeing Lottie and Niall and Liam and Zayn made Louis think maybe he was ready to love again. To let someone in. To let down the walls he'd so carefully built around his heart and let someone love him. To share the most intimate parts of himself with another person in the hopes that they would treasure them.

Louis had a home in Australia, one in England too. But he didn't have a home for his heart. He didn't have a home where his heart felt loved and honoured and treasured. His heart needed a home of its own and now seemed like as good a time as any to find it.

"Not much further now, one more corridor I promise," George said.

Louis hadn't been paying attention to where they'd been going or how long they'd been walking. They seemed to be in the inner parts of the arena fans never got a glimpse of. He was suddenly nervous and self concious.

He knew he was sweaty and his hair was probably a mess. Harry of course would be perfection as always. He quickly ran a hand through his fringe and tried to smooth out his shirt. It was futile but at least he'd tried.

As they reached the end of the next corridor laughter could be heard from a door on the left. Louis knew that laugh. He'd recognise it anywhere and his mood sky rocketed. He tried to stifle the large grin on his face but he couldn't help the feeling he got at hearing Harry laugh.

Louis knew he cloud listen to Harry laugh for the rest of his life and somewhere in the back of his mind he decided that whatever it took he wanted to be the reason for it.

.....

Harry stepped backwards a few times right onto the X marked on the stage, waving and kissing to the crowd. As the last note of the song finished Harry crouched down and the platform he'd entered on slowly began to decend back beneath the stage.

The crowd continued to cheer and scream even after Harry was safely beneath the stage. Harry shivered at the sudden temperature change and goosebumps spread over his wet skin.

His shirt was stuck to his body like a second skin and water continued to drip into his eyes from his hair but Harry had never felt more alive.

It had been one of Harry's best shows to date and he was so happy that the tour had ended on a high note. Rod was there to meet him again, shaking his head at Harry with an amused smirk.

The crew were used to Harry's on stage antics now. More often than not he'd decend from the stage and be wet in varying degrees. He'd foregone his signature "whale" move tonight in favour of a whole bottle of water instead.

He wasn't sure what had possessed him but when he'd seen the look on Louis' face he'd known he'd made the right choice.

He removed his ear pieces and mic pack handing them over to Rod along with his microphone. Harry thanked Rod and he congratulated Harry on an amazing end of tour show.

Harry felt as though he was on cloud nine. Usually he'd slump and feel a little down after a show had finished but the thought of seeing Louis again kept his mood bright.

He quickly hurried out of the door he'd come in through earlier after thanking all of the crew for their hard work. He walked swiftly down corridor after corridor in the now eerie silence.

When he reached his dressing room he pushed his way inside and shut the door. It wouldn't be long before Louis and his group arrived so he quickly made sure the room looked presentable.

He noticed that Nana had picked up all the shirts and shoes and head scarves he'd strewn about earlier and he made a mental note to thank her when he seen her next.

He straightened up the papers on the desk, picking up the stray pieces of paper and pens that had fallen to the floor in his mad rush. After a few minutes he was satisfied that the room was tidy and slumped into a comfy chair in front of the small coffee table.

He knew he was still soaking wet and that he really should get changed but he didn't care at that moment. He wanted to indulge in his after show guilty pleasure before Louis and his group arrived.

Harry pulled his phone from his back pocket and was relieved to find it wasn't wet. He had forgotten all about it when he'd poured the water over his head. Harry didn't even know why he bothered keeping it on him while he was on stage but sometimes there was an amazing Kodak moment he couldn't resist.

He opened his phone and pulled up Twitter, quickly punching his hash tag into the search bar. He liked to see his concerts from the perspective of the fans. Not to mention there was always more than a few hilarious reactions and captions that accompanied the pictures and videos.

Harry scrolled through his timeline smiling at all the videos, pictures and tweets. He saved the particularly good pictures of himself to his phone and watched every video of the crowd singing Olivia he could find.

It was one of his favourite parts of the night and it didn't matter how many videos of it there were he watched them all. He was about to close his phone when a picture of a hand touching the stage with perfectly manicured nails caught his eye.

He read the caption attached.

_**CharlotteIsTheGirlAlmighty18** _

_**@LTSongWriter @da_pimp_iz_here @ThePayneTrain @TheDjLyf**_ _and I finally made it into the arena after a few set backs_ _(I'm looking at you **@LTSongWriter** ) _  
_Luckily we are right at the barrier. I mean if you can't tell how close to the stage we are from the pic y'all blind. Hurry your ass up Harry Styles. Your girl is waiting!_

Harry realised then that it had been Lottie who'd tweeted the picture and couldn't contain the hysterical fit of laughter that overcame him.

By her tweet he could tell she was sassy like her brother and Harry liked her instantly. It honestly wasn't all that funny but Harry couldn't help it. And was he giggling?

There was a knock at the door then and he locked his phone, tucked it back into his pocket and wiped the tears from his eyes. He opened the door still giggling like an idiot and came face to face with Louis.

.....

"I'll leave you all to it then. He's just in there as you can no doubt hear. I hope you all had a wondeful night," George said pointing towards the door they were standing in front of.

They all thanked him profusely and he smiled back at them before he turned away and headed off back in the direction they'd come.

All eyes were on Louis then. He sighed and stepped up to the door having been silently volunteered to be the the person to announce their presence.

Louis didn't know why he was so nervous. He'd already met Harry. Although he hoped in that moment he could convey to Harry with a look to act as though they hadn't.

Louis took a deep, steadying breath and raised his hand to knock on the door. He could see that it was shaking violently but he couldn't calm his nerves.

Giggling laughter could still be heard through the door and Louis wanted nothing more in that moment to witness Harry like that so he knocked, not wasting another second.

A few seconds later the door opened onto a giggling Harry. He was wiping tears from his eyes and his smile was so big both dimples popped on his cheeks.

Louis' eyes met Harry's and it took every fibre of his being to remain calm and not gasp at the sight of him.

Harry's hair was still wet and every few seconds a tiny droplet of water would drip from the end of a curl and slowly make its way down the side of Harry's neck.

Louis followed the droplets as they slid over his skin and mingled with the still clinging fabric of his shirt. Louis imagined what it would be like to chase those droplets with his tongue. To feel Harry's skin against his lips.

Harry may as well not be wearing a shirt at all as it was now doing nothing to cover his torso. He looked like Louis' fantasies come alive and Louis couldn't tear his eyes away from him.

If Louis was being honest, if his group hadn't been with him he'd probably have launched himself at Harry, pulling him into a passionate kiss. But wether the group was with him or not that would be highly inappropriate.

Louis looked at Harry seriously then, trying to speak to him with his eyes. He hoped his face was telling Harry what he wanted him to know. Harry looked at him with a puzzled expression. Louis tried to shake his head slowly enough the others wouldn't notice but in a way that was obvious enough for Harry to pick up on.

Louis raised his hand and ran his fingers through his hair. Before he let his hand drop he quickly pointed between himself and Harry and shook his head again.

It clearly had dawned on Harry what Louis had meant and he winked at him showing he understood.

"Welcome!" Harry said in a bright, cheery voice.  
"Please come in, make yourselves at home."

Harry stepped back to let Louis and the group file into the room. Lottie looked as though she'd faint at any moment. Niall was gripping to her arm tightly and guided her into the room. Liam followed next with an adorable smile on his face and Zayn simply shook Harry's hand with a small "Hey mate, vas happenin?" as he passed.

Louis positioned himself in the furthest corner of the room he could get. He felt vulnerable and exposed. He didn't know why but he didn't want the others to know that he'd already run into Harry earlier and he wasn't sure what was about to happen.

Louis liked to be in control as a general rule but around Harry he felt he had no control at all. He felt impulsive and Harry brought out the sassy side of Louis. A side of himself he hadn't seen in a long time.

Louis noted that the room was alot bigger than he'd imagined. It had a desk in the corner near where he was standing that had a stack of papers on it. There was also a door that he assumed led to a toilet and possibly even a shower.

There was a large mirror that ran along the length of one wall the other was filled with pictures of other famous singers and bands that had played at the arena.

In the centre of the room was a small square coffee table. It was modern and had sleek lines and was surrounded by comfortable looking armchairs.

One looked as though it might be a little damp. The fabric of the back rest a slightly darker shade than the rest of the chair.

Louis thought Harry must have been sitting there before he arrived. He wondered what he'd been doing and what had caused his giggles.

Harry closed the door to the dressing room as everyone filed in and stood around awkwardly. It was clear they were all nervous and weren't sure how they were supposed to act around Harry.

Zayn was the only one of the group that didn't seem to be affected by Harry. He chose a chair to sit in at the coffee table and slumped into it like he was getting comfy on his sofa at home.

Louis wished he could be that unaffected by Harry. That he could act casually in his presence and not be a hot mess. He was torn between feeling like he was about to vomit and an overwhelming desire to push Harry up against a wall and ravage him.

Louis was shocked by his own wayward thoughts. Where was all this coming from? Harry wasn't some random guy at a pub. He wasn't some grogeous brunette who'd caught his attention on some seedy online dating site. This was The Harry Styles.

Harry turned to face them all and frowned. The tension was thick in the room and Harry clearly felt it as much as the rest of them did.

"Hey, relax guys ok? This isn't an official meet and greet. There's no management hovering or PR nightmares to worry about. We're all friends here yeah? Relax! It's my last show of the tour and tonight we're all going to have the time of our lives," Harry's grin was infectious and Louis couldn't help but return it.

Zayn gave Harry a knowing look and Louis was convinced the pair were up to something. He couldn't tell what but he hoped that whatever it was would allow him to relax and enjoy himself.

"So I know Mr Malik, sick show in Ibiza mate," Harry continued. Zayn brought both of his hands together in a prayer like gesture and gently bowed his head towards Harry as he spoke.

"And of course I know my girl Lottie. I'm so terribly sorry I kept you waiting for so long earlier love," he winked at Lottie who went a violent shade of red.

"You saw that!?" she gasped utterly embarrassed.

"Yeah I did. Just now actually. That's why I was laughing when you all arrived. Your caption was priceless. Nice nails by the way," Harry replied.

"Oh, um thanks," Lottie said with a shy smile.

"Come here, come on I know you want to. I can see you practically vibrating over there," Harry said holding his arms out wide. Lottie hesitantly moved away from Niall before launching herself at Harry.

He closed his arms tightly around her squishing his cheek to hers as they hugged. Louis stared at the pair, both loving Harry more in that moment than he ever had before but also feeling a pang of jealousy. He'd give his left leg to trade places with Lottie and he hoped it didn't show.

Harry continued to hug Lottie for another few moments. He waited until she was ready to let go before releasing her. Harry looked over to Louis and gave him a small reassuring smile as if he knew the whole situation was uncomfortable for him.

"Can I take a picture with you please Harry?" Lottie asked shyly.  
"Of course! Get your phone out then," he replied and hugged her to his side so Lottie could take a few selfies of them together. They took a serious one first that was then followed by Harry kissing Lottie's cheek, both of them making silly, cross eyed faces and lastly one of them both pointing at each other with "I can't believe it's really you" looks on their faces.

Louis laughed at them as they took the pictures. Niall he noticed looked as jealous as he felt. Liam had come to stand beside Louis and he nudged him gently pointing to Niall and they both laughed at his sour expression.

"Thank you so much Harry. You honestly are the kindest person and I'm so grateful I got the chance to meet you. This has truly been the best birthday ever," Lottie said hugging him tightly again.

"Your so welcome Lottie, I'm glad I could make your day special," Harry breathed into her ear as they hugged and placed a small kiss on her cheek.

"Anyone else want a hug and a selfie then?" Harry asked with a smirk. Zayn laughed at him but Niall rushed forward holding out his hand to Harry and hurriedly introduced himself.

"Hiya mate, Niall Horan, its a pleasure to meet you," he said shaking Harry's hand.

"Nice to meet you too mate. How is it that you all know each other?" Harry asked.

"Well Zayn, Liam and myself have known each other for years," Niall said pointing to Zayn and Liam. "I only met Tommo and Lottie this afternoon on the way here. Saw them both falling about laughing on the platform at the station and couldn't help but laugh at them. Tommo came over to make sure I wasn't going to pass out from laughter and we hit it off. What was it you two were even laughing at?" Niall asked looking between Louis and Lottie.

Lottie had a cheeky smirk on her face and Louis groaned and raked his hands over his face at Niall's words.

"Well? Are you going to tell them or am I?" Lottie asked. "Personally I think i tell the story much better," she said winking towards Harry.

Louis saw Harry bite his lip, no doubt trying to stifle a laugh and he sighed. "Go on then love, it'll be embarrassing whoever tells it," he said and smiled at her. It was an embarrassing story but also a very funny one and he hoped it lifted the mood in the room a bit.

Lottie proceeded to regail her captive audience and soon everyone was falling about the room, holding onto each other for support as they laughed.

She'd stomped about and hysterically imitated Louis complaining about his traumatic train ride and even Zayn laughed at her.

By the end of the story they'd all ended up in an armchair, wiping tears from their eyes and sounding like they were at a birthing class trying to right their breathing. The only person left standing was Louis.

He was ok with standing in the back. He'd once loved to be the centre of attention. He'd once been just like Lottie had been just now but he seemed to have lost himself somwhere along the way.

He didn't mind taking a back seat to life and watching it pass him by. He liked the anonymity it provided even though his Mum constantly worried he was wasting his most precious years.

But Louis didn't mind. It saved him from heartache and rejection and if it meant living a second hand life through others to ensure that, then that was a sacrifice Louis was willing to make.

.....

They'd been talking and laughing with each other for about half an hour now. Harry was happy to see that everyone had relaxed and he'd melded into their group as though he'd always been there. That was to say everyone except Louis.

He was still standing at the back of the room near the desk and kept darting his eyes away whenever Harry tried to meet his gaze.

Louis had made a show of coming over and introducing himself to Harry as though they'd never met. Harry had tried hard to hide his frown, acting along as though this was the first time they'd set eyes on each other.

Harry honestly felt confused as to why Louis was acting this way and why he'd pretended as though they'd never met, but he was determined to get to the bottom of it and soon.

Zayn tapped Harry on the arm and leaned over to speak quietly into his ear from where he was sat next to him.

"We better wrap this up lad. Don't want you to be late for your own end of tour party," He said quietly so that only Harry could hear. Harry nodded.

"Listen up gang," Harry said. Everyone's attention was now on him as he spoke. "Tonight as you probably all know was the last show of the tour. So, as is time honoured tradition that means that myself, my nearest and dearest and about five hundred other people I don't even know will be heading to the hottest night club in the host city to get rowdy and shit faced."

Niall whooped and cheered at Harry's words and everyone laughed.

Harry continued on with a giant dimple filled smile.  
"Yes, thank you Niall I totally agree. Anyway, as we're in the beautiful city of Melbourne tonight's field trip into the land of alcohol fueled shinanigans will be held at Lux. It's one of Melbourne's hottest clubs and always guarantees a wild night. So, I'll be there and Zayn is Djing so who else is in?"

"Well sorry to burst your bubble there young Harold but Li and myself are already invited so your technically only inviting Tommo and Lottie," Niall said a smug smile on his face.

"Well in that case, Lottie you up for it?" Harry asked. He had a feeling Louis would have said no had he asked him first so he played the sister card and asked Lottie instead. He knew if he asked her first she'd beg Louis to go and he wouldn't be able to say no to her.

Lottie looked to Louis silently pleading with him. Louis simply looked back at her, his smile growing wide and nodded his head.

"Up for it!" Lottie almost shouted. "Lou your the best," she added smiling at her brother.

"Excellent that only leaves you Lou, up for it?" Harry asked, giving Louis the most dazzling smile he could muster.

"Yes Harrold, up for it," Louis replied with a wink. Well this was a new development Harry thought. Up until now Louis had seemed shy and reserved and now he was winking at him. Harry wasn't complaining. He much preferred flirty, sassy Louis.

"Well we better get a move on then gang, it's already after 11pm and I'm supposed to start no later than 12:30pm. That doesn't leave us alot of time and I still have to go past the apparent to get my stuff," Zayn said.

"Oh shit. We still have stuff in that locker too," Niall said.

"Well you go and get the stuff from your locker and I'll quickly get changed. Once we're ready we'll head to Zayn's then head over to Lux. My driver can drive us, save on a taxi," Harry said. "Do you mind waiting with me Lou?" he asked.

Louis looked as though he'd seen a ghost. What was with him? One minute flirty next like a deer in head lights. This had to stop and it had to stop now.

"Um, yeah sure Harry. Lottie do you mind grabbing my stuff with the boys while I wait for Harry? We'll meet you at Service Entrance 3," Louis said.

Lottie assure Louis she'd be fine with the boys and he quickly explained to them how to get to the service entrance he'd found earlier. They all quickly shuffled out the door leaving Harry and Louis alone. Finally.

As soon as Harry was sure that the rest of the group had walked far enough away from the dressing room he turned to face Louis. He slowly walked towards him, green eyes locked with blue and made his way to stand directly in front of him.

Harry crowded close to Louis in the hopes it would prevent him from bolting away. They were almost touching now and Harry could feel the heat radiating off of Louis' body.

His mouth suddenly felt dry and he took a deep breath before he spoke. "So Lou, are you going to tell me why you've been acting weird and why you had me pretend we don't know each other?" Harry asked.

Louis released a breath he'd obviously been holding and bowed his head. Harry lifted Louis chin with his fingers so that he was forced to meet his gaze once more. Louis searched Harry's eyes. Harry wasn't sure what it was he was looking for in them but a small smile curved onto Louis' lips and he'd obviously found the something he'd been looking for.

"Because when I'm around you Harry, I don't feel in control. You make my thoughts go wild and my heart race amongst other things. You bring out a side of me I haven't seen in a really long time and I'm just having trouble processing it all," Louis said.

Harry bowed his head and rested his forehead against Louis'. "So your skin feels like it's on fire and your spine is tingly and you can't seem to catch a breath too huh?" Harry asked. He needed to let Louis know that he had the same affect on him as he had on Louis. That this wasn't some silly one sided teenage crush.

Louis nodded against Harry's head. Harry couldn't help the smile that formed at the simple gesture and he moved back so he could look at Louis properly.

Neither spoke for what seemed like hours as they both just stared longingly into each other's eyes. The air in the room had seemed to get warmer, thicker,  burning with sexual tension.

They played a silent battle of wills. Who would make the first move? Who would be the first to crack under the pressure? Harry hoped it would be Louis.

"Oh fuck it," Louis breathed and before Harry could do or say anything Louis launched himself at Harry crashing their lips together.

Louis had a fist full of Harry's shirt, the other hand wrapping around the back of Harry's neck. Harry responded kissing Louis back as if his life depended on it. He held Louis tightly by his hips, holding their bodies together as they kissed.

Harry licked along Louis' bottom lip and his mouth widened to allow him access. Their tongues danced and stroked together as they kissed. Harry felt like his entire body was on fire. Shock waves rocketed up his spine and soon his hands were sliding up the skin of Louis' back under his shirts.

Harry had to feel Louis, to feel his bare skin under his fingers. Louis moaned as Harry touched him and Harry could feel his cock start to harden. It was the single most erotic sound Harry had ever heard. He wanted to be the reason for that sound, always.

Louis hands were now in Harry's hair tugging at it as they kissed. Louis broke away first breathing rapidly looking at Harry with smouldering lust filled eyes.

He put both hands flat on Harry's chest and pushed him backwards. They began kissing feverently again and soon Harry felt his back slam up against the dressing room door. This time it was Harry who groaned.

This dominant side to Louis was hot. It ilicited reactions in Harry's body he hadn't even known it was capable of and all they were doing was kissing.

Harry's mind was racing, he couldn't form one coherent thought and at that moment he didn't much care. As they continued to kiss and lick and suck at each other Harry felt Louis hands move to where his shirt was buttoned. Without any warning Louis grabbed both sides and yanked it open, a few small black buttons flying across the room.

Harry gasped and he could feel Louis smirk against his mouth. Louis trailed his hands up Harry's stomach starting at the waist band of his jeans. He touched Harry so lightly that Louis was barely skimming the tiny, fine hairs littering Harry's skin and a trail of goosebumps followed. Slowly, slowly Louis inched his fingers further up Harry's stomach and chest.

Harry felt as though he might explode his cock now full and hard and pressing against his jeans painfully. As Louis's fingers reached Harry's collarbone, Louis bent his head to Harry's chest and took one of his nipples into his mouth.

He licked and sucked at it, bringing it between his teeth it until it formed a hard peak. Louis then blew on it gently and Harry writhed and squirmed beneath him. Louis then moved to the other nipple repeating the process and a whispered "Oh fuck Lou," escaped from Harry's swollen lips.

Louis was now pressed up against Harry and Harry could feel Louis' hard length pressing against his own. Harry involuntarily rubbed his cock against Louis' as he assaulted his senses, teasing nipple, after nipple, after nipple, after nipple.

Harry's mind was lost in a sea of overwhelming sensation. It had been an incredibly long time since he'd felt anything half as good as this and he never wanted it to end. It wasnt until Louis reached for the button on his jeans that he was brought crashing back to reality and grabbed Louis's wrist to stop him.

Louis pulled away looking at Harry with a concerned and slightly hurt expression. "I'm sorry I don't know what came over me," Louis said and began to shy away from Harry, taking a few wobbly steps backwards.

"No, no don't be sorry Lou. It was perfect. And I want it to keep being perfect. I want to savour it Lou. I want to take my time and commit every touch, kiss and sensation to memory. I don't need a temporary fix Lou. I just need you," Harry breathed.

Louis looked stunned but managed to get the words out. "Me? There's nothing special about me Harry. I'm not even sure why your even entertaining the idea. Not to mention we only met a few hours ago."

Harry's heart sank at Louis' words. Did he really think so little of himself? Did he not see how beautiful and amazing and talented he was?

"Lou don't say that. Your beautiful, funny, sassy and kind. Your smile and laughter is infectious and when I'm around you I feel alive and I dont care if we met 2 hours or 2 decades ago," Harry said rushing to explain to Louis just what he did to Harry.

"But why me?" Louis asked again, eyes shining with tears.

"Because," Harry whispered, "You feel like home." 


	7. Car Rides, Sheer Shirts And Happiness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang head to Zayn's expanding their group along the way. Louis gives Harry a taste of his own medicine and they finally arrive at Lux.

_"Because, you feel like home."_

Those five simple words had been bouncing around Louis' skull for the better part of an hour. He hadn't been sure what he was supposed to do, or what he was supposed to say. He was still in shock that someone as perfect and beautiful and kind as Harry would even look at him, that he'd frozen on the spot. His mind raced and he was so confused but he knew he wanted Harry more than anything in this world so he'd simply kissed Harry, hoping it would be enough.

Louis needed a home for his heart more than anything in this world. He had a beautiful home, money, friends, a family who loved him but his heart was never truly content or at peace. It never felt like it had belonged anywhere or to anyone, that was until Harry Styles had spoken those five heartfelt words to him and turned his world upside down.

He'd sat dazed in a chair, as Harry had hurried to get changed not really sure how he was managing to breathe or blink or keep his heart beating. All he could concentrate on where Harry's words.

_"Because, you feel like home."_

His words that were so few, but held so much promise. Words he knew Harry meant with every fibre of his being. Words he knew would forever be permanently etched into his mind and his heart. For nothing could ever compare to the feeling he'd felt when those words had left Harry's lips.

Lips he could still feel on his own. Lips that had kissed him with fierce passion, yet had offered nothing but tenderness.

Louis couldn't contain the joy he felt. He knew it was radiating from him like a Tsunami, engulfing everyone in its wake. It was a pure, real, tangible thing and it seemed that everyone shared in it with him.

Louis, Harry, Liam, Zayn, Lottie, Niall and Harry's driver Tim were all now pilled in a shiny black Escalade headed for Zayn's apartment. Niall and Lottie were seated at the front behind Tim. Liam and Zayn were in the middle row and Louis and Harry brought up the rear.

Harry had insisted that he and Louis enter the car last, making up some such excuse about age before beauty and the other four had clambered in ahead of them.

Louis hadn't thought much of it until they'd pulled out of the car park onto the streets of Melbourne and they'd been shrouded in darkness. The only light that illuminated them were passing street lights and the occasional car or tram.

Louis hadn't been aware that he'd even moved but soon he found himself so close to Harry in the back seat that he was nearly in his lap. It was then that he'd realised why Harry had insisted on sitting in the back.

The same spark of electricity was still present where their arms and thighs touched and Louis could see the fond smile on Harry's face lit up by the passing street lights.

He looked like heaven even in the dark and Louis knew he didn't even need to be able to see Harry to know that the look on his face matched his own.

One of excitement, anticipation and lust. One of longing to touch and to hold and to caress. To share and explore and discover. Louis prayed these were things Harry wanted too and that he'd soon be able to share all those things with him.

As the car hurtled along the busy streets the four in the front talked and laughed and caressed. It was as if they'd all forgotten about the others riding along with them.

Lottie had her head rested on Nialls shoulder, his right arm wrapped around her gently stroking her arm. Every few minutes Louis noted how Niall would gently kiss the top of her head and mumble a few words in Lottie's ear which would result in shy laughter.

Zayn and Liam had spent the majority of the trip so far discussing his up coming gig at the after party. What songs he'd play, what vibe he was going for and now they sat in companionable silence, sharing a soft kiss whenever the need overcame them.

Louis on the other hand felt far from calm. He wanted nothing more than to clamour into Harry's lap and continue what they'd started back in his dressing room. He didn't know if it was the close proximity to Harry or the overall excitement of the day but he felt alive.

Louis felt brave and sexy and confident. He wanted to show Harry that he wasn't a quivering, stuttering mess. That he had sass and an attitude and could hold his own and in that moment he vowed to do just that.

As Tim announced they were almost at Zayn's apartment Louis hatched his master plan. Summoning courage he wasn't even aware he still had, being comforted by the knowledge they were forgotten in the dark depths of the car Louis quickly unfastened his seatbelt and straddled Harry's lap, placing a finger on his lips to silence him before he could protest.

Louis felt Harry's wide grin against his finger. Harry's hands wound up Louis' thighs, the same tingling, heat fueld feeling following in their wake before they came to rest on his hips. Louis moved his finger and leant his head forward so that it was almost touching Harry's.

Louis' mind was a scatter of thoughts and emotions. It felt to him as though every second he spent with Harry was a second closer to becoming the Louis he'd lost so long ago. Louis could almost feel himself being stitched back together one minuscule piece at a time, second by second, minute by minute.

Not touching Harry at all other than where he was sat astride him he moved his head so that the tip of his nose rested gently against Harry's cheek. He moved it slowly up to the corner of his eye, then across to his ear then followed down the line of his jaw, Louis' hot breath igniting a fire on Harry's skin.

Harry remained silent as Louis continued his sensory assault. Louis knew this was driving him wild although he didn't voice it aloud.

Harry's eyes had fluttered shut and his lips had parted ever so slightly. His chest was rising and falling rapidly and Louis knew he'd have a few finger bruises tomorrow from where Harry was currently gripping his hips like a vice.

Louis moved his head until his lips hovered over Harry's, their breaths weaving together both fast and slow. Louis brought his hands up, skimming Harry's thighs and arms as he went until his hands came to rest behind Harry's head, carding his fingers in the curls he found there.

A burst of air escaped Harry as Louis brought his lips to meet his, brushing them together with a feather light touch before he moved away. Again Louis repeated. Skimming Harry's lips with his own, their lips touching for a fraction of a second before Louis pulled back again.

As each second of this went by Louis could feel the grip Harry had on him become tighter and tighter. It was borderline painful but it also fueled the fire in Louis and the new found strength to let himself feel.

Harry had grown impatient with Louis' game now. He was fidgeting in his seat beneath Louis and his length was starting to grow hard pressing against the inside of Louis' thigh.

Louis couldn't contain the satisfied smile that crept onto his lips. Harry was learning what it was like to be Louis. Louis knew how Harry was feeling right now and yet all Harry had to do was smile at him and flash those adorable dimples to illicit the same response.

Louis was feeling quite smug, knowing Harry was losing his mind because of him. But soon the tables were turned when Harry suddenly had two fistfuls of Louis' hair and their lips came crashing together like waves on a beach.

Harry kissed Louis as if he needed it like the air he breathed. Like Louis was a guiding light in the darkness he never wanted to lose. Louis kissed him back with equal ferver and passion. He didn't care that they were being far from discreet about their, whatever this was. All he knew was that he never wanted this to end or the overwhelming need to be physically, mentally and emotionally close to Harry to lessen. Ever.

.....

They'd arrived at Zayn's apartment within twenty minutes although to Louis it had felt much quicker. He'd quickly scrambled reluctantly out of Harry's lap as Zayn had announced their arrival. Harry looked flushed and Louis simply sat with a smirk attracting suspicious glances from the others.

Louis had managed to keep himself from becoming hard as Harry had kissed him. He wasn't entirely sure how he'd managed it but Harry hadn't been so successful. As they exited the car Harry had awkwardly tried to adjust himself in the skin tight jeans he was wearing and Louis could tell he was glad it was dark.

Zayn lived in a tall multi story apartment building in the heart of the city. It was sleek and modern, the surface reflecting the city lights. It was honestly a sight to behold and Louis wished he could be more like this and splash his cash a bit more. He could easily afford to live in an apartment building like this if he actually worked. He hadn't worked in almost 2 years. Not actively. Not since Ben, but he preffered to live by the beach anyway, opting for a functional and practical if somewhat showy home. 

They entered the lobby and Louis couldn't contain the shocked look on his face. The building was stunning and they were only in the lobby. Two beautiful women sat behind a desk greeted Zayn as he entered.

"Good evening Mr Malik," one of the women said. She had striking green eyes, shoulder length dark hair that framed her angled face and a bright smile. Louis detected a hint of an accent but he couldn't pick it. "You alright Andrea?" Zayn answered walking up to the desk. "Please call me Dea," she said flashing him a smile and Louis could just tell she'd be alot of fun if she wasn't at work. "Well, I'll make you a deal. I'll call you Dea if you stop calling me Mr Malik and start calling me Zayn. Mr Malik is my dad," he said laughing and returning her smile. "OK, deal," she said and reached over the desk to shake Zayn's hand.

"You girls on shift for much longer?" Zayn asked. "We're all heading up to Lux shortly if you want to join. I know you two are party girls even if you don't look it. Especially you Miss Innocent," he said winking at the beautiful girl sat next to Dea. She looked younger than Dea but still had beautiful soft features and a pretty smile. Honestly Louis couldn't imagine her being the party girl type.

Dea practically oozed sass and attitude and Louis knew instantly they'd get on famously, but he was having trouble seeing what Zayn seen in the other girl. His curiosity was piqued. Zayn had to get those girls to Lux. What was another two people to add to the mix?

"Well we have another half an hour or so before our shift is over," Miss Innocent replied blushing at what Zayn had said. "But we don't have anything here to wear. We'd have to go home and change and by the time we got back it'd be almost 2am. There wouldn't be any point then," she said and her face fell.

"Caroline, it's Friday night. Did you honestly think I didn't bring a change of clothes with us just in case? Honestly you'd think you'd know me by now. We've been together long enough," Dea said with a huff.

"So that's what the duffle bag was for! Well in that case count us in, we'll meet you guys down there," she said scanning over the group crowded by some small sofas.

As her eyes fell over the rest of the group they grew wide and she clapped her right hand to her mouth clearly in shock, the other wildly slapping Dea's arm. Louis knew instantly why she looked like she was about to explode and he shook his head with an amused smile.

He felt for Caroline if he was honest. That'd been him a few hours ago only he'd done a much better job of hiding it. Caroline on the other hand had her fan girl out for everyone to see and Louis was sure her brain wasn't functioning enough for her to care.

"Babe, what's wrong!?," Dea practically yelled noticing Caroline's frantic expression. All she could do was point and Louis watched as Dea's eyes followed where Caroline pointed and her mouth fell open in shocked surprise.

By this point Harry had taken notice of the conversation going on in front of him. He'd been mindlessly twisting his rings around and around his fingers not really paying much attention until Dea had yelled out.

His head had snapped up then and he looked confused as to why all eyes were now on him. Soon realisation dawned on Harry's face that it was because of him that the girls were acting the way they were. He offered them both a dazzling smile and wiggled his long fingers at them in a wave.

"Oh my God! Harry Freakin Styles just smiled and waved at me! Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God," Caroline yelled her breathing rapid and coming in gasps as she spoke. Louis looked to Harry, watching his face intently to gauge his reaction. He smiled fondly at Caroline before walking slowly forward towards her.

Louis knew what he was going to do. He'd done the same to Lottie earlier when they'd all gone back stage. He would hug her and comfort her and reassure her that she could fan girl all she wanted and to never be ashamed of it. Louis honestly could not fathom what he'd ever done in his 26 years of life to ever have deserved this angel but here he was. A walking, talking angel that had eyes only for him. And Louis knew then that he'd do everything in his power to show his thanks every day for as long as he lived.

.....

After a few short minutes of Harry speaking with Caroline and Dea and assuring them that any friend of Zayn's was a friend of his, Zayn moved them towards the backof the lobby. Zayn guided them all towards a set of elevators and proceeded to frantically jab at the call button.

Zayn punched the button impatiently as if pressing it one hundred times would make the elevator arrive faster. A loud ding rang out a few moments later as the elevator arrived and slowly the doors opened to reveal a spacious compartment big enough for all of them.

"This is some size lift," Niall said directing his statement at Zayn. "I love this lift man, means I can get all my gear up and down in one trip," Zayn replied and they all shuffled in as he held the doors for them.

Harry had grabbed a hold of Louis' wrist and steered him into the back corner of the elevator. Louis chuckled quietly hoping no one would hear him. If Harry was trying to be discreet about whatever was going on between them he was going the wrong way about it. If anything they stuck out like a sore thumb but he was grateful that no one else had noticed and if they had they were choosing not to say anything.

Soon everyone was inside and Zayn punched in the number for the 69th floor. Louis was excited to see Zayn's apartment. If nothing else the view would be spectacular from the top floor penthouse.

The elevator slowly began to move and Louis' mind was lost in thoughts of what Zayn's appartment might look like. He was a hard person to read and didn't obviously show his character or personality so it would be interesting to find out what Zayn was really about.

Louis was jolted from his musings by a hand slowly winding its way up the inside of his thigh, up over the right cheek of his ass and coming to rest on the bare skin of his lower back. He hadn't realised that he'd tensed up until he felt a thumb slowly making circles on his skin, effectively relaxing him once again.

Louis tried to act as though this small intimate gesture wasn't lighting a fire in his soul. That it wasn't causing his skin to tingle and goosebumps to spread over his flesh in waves. He was supposed to be the one in control. How was he supposed to do that when even the gentlest touch from Harry had him in over drive?

Harry probably hadn't even meant it as a sexual gesture and more a need to simply be close to Louis. Or at least that's what Louis hoped. He was trying to act indifferent towards Harry's touch, act as though it wasn't affecting him at all. But he couldn't. The fact that Harry had to touch Louis, to be physically close to him made Louis' heart swell and he had to find a way to show Harry he appreciated it.

All he could think to do to keep this moment just between them was to tuck his left arm behind his back and rest his hand over Harry's. Harry's hand stilled on Louis' back as his hand came to rest on top of it, but soon they were both softly touching whichever part of each other they could reach as they continued the ride in silence to the 69th floor.

.....

The group had finally arrived at Zayn's penthouse apartment and filed in as he'd held the door for them. It was large and modern and the walls were covered in paintings and graffiti. The wall directly opposite was floor to ceiling windows that opened out onto a balcony and the city lights twinkled beyond.

The furnishings and appliances were all modern and decorated in shades of black white and silver. It looked spectacular and the view hadn't disappointed. Although there was one view Louis particularly loved.

Harry had moved to stand in front of the windows and the bright lights of the apartment illuminated his skin. He looked like he was glowing from the inside out and Louis took the opportunity to admire him.

His tall slender length was accentuated by his tan heeled boots and painfully tight black jeans. His toned legs seeming to go on forever and disappear under his shirt.

Again Harry had opted for a black, sheer shirt. The sleeves were rolled up past his wrists, highlighting his long slender fingers. He played with the rings that adorned them as he stared out the window and small colourful lights reflected back from the city danced across the bare skin of his chest.

The highlight of the outfit for Louis besides Harry basically wearing a shirt out of necessity as he was near naked in it anyway, was the black and white polka dot head scarf he had holding back his curls.

Louis knew that if he'd even attempted to wear a head scarf like that he'd look like an idiot. But Harry made it look so effortless. The scarf wrapped around his curls, encasing them in the silk fabric. Louis had watched fascinated earlier as Harry had put it on, watching as he carefully selected a few curls here and there to tuck behind the scarf or pull out from under it for emphasis.

He looked stunningly beautiful. It took Louis' breath away just standing there watching him. He suddenly felt very under dressed for a party still in his t-shirt and over shirt. Harry looked like a God as usual, Lottie had removed her t-shirt and was back to her original crop top outfit and Niall, Zayn and Laim just seemed to ooze sex appeal and fun so it didn't matter what they wore. Louis however felt like the chaperone dad that ruined the party. He needed something fun and sexy and he wondered if Zayn had anything he could borrow.

His choice of outfit was a major part of his grand plan for tonight and he wasn't about to let a shirt stop him. He strolled up to Zayn with renewed purpose.

"Hey Zayn, I was wondering if you had another shirt I could change into? I feel like a Dad in this," Louis said with a laugh.

Zayn laughed back. "Yeah, course lad. My rooms just through there," he said pointing down a hallway Louis hadnt noticed until now. "Just pick whatever you like. Im already wearing my favourite outfit so it doesn't matter what you grab, its all good."

"Thanks lad, I appreciate it," Louis replied clasping Zayn on the shoulder before hurrying down the hallway. He hoped Harry hadn't noticed his exit. He wanted to witness the look on Harry's face in front of the group and watch him squirm as he tried to hide it when he returned. 

It may be a little mean to be fair, but Louis was cheeky and loved to get a rise out of people. Harry more so than others. He rushed into Zayn's room and closed the door. The room was large and decorated in blacks and silvers like the main living area. The large bed occupied most of the space with two pendant lamps hanging from either side. He headed over to what he assumed was the walk in robe and flicked on the light. He'd been right and his mouth fell at the sight in front of him. The closet was basically a room almost the size of Louis' bedroom.

Louis made an ok living. His base salary was decent but if a song he'd written went number one when it was released his royalties were through the roof. If he was honest, he was far exceeding what most average people earned in a year but nowhere near what Harry earnt. Despite all of that he had never seen the point in flashing his money in people's faces with extravagant material possessions. However, after seeing Zayn's home there was something to be said for opulence.

There were racks and racks of shirts, pants, jackets, jumpers, scarves and ties. There were shelves with shoes and hats, watches and sunglasses and every other accessory Louis could think of. Taking up one section of the back wall was a large mirror and Louis stared at himself in it.

His jeans were fine as they were. They'd remained tight even through everything that had gone on that night. His hair still looked fashionably mussed. Maybe a few quick make out  sessions with Harry had made it better instead of worse.

It was the shirts that were the problem. He walked over to a rack of shirts and took a closer look at his options.

Most of Zayns clothes were black, that didn't bother Louis too much. He preferred to wear black when going out clubbing or to a party. Something about black just seemed to work. As he flipped through the rack of shirts one at the end caught his eye.

It was a simple black muscle tee made of light weight fabric. It wasn't anything fancy or special but it would show off his arms and hopefully he wouldn't sweat as much as he had in his other shirts. As he removed his own shirts he spotted a can of deodorant on a shelf to his right. He grabbed it, gave himself a quick spray and put on the muscle tee.

It was soft and clung to his back and chest, falling slightly looser at his stomach and hips. It felt light against his skin and he turned to face the full length mirror behind him.

Louis' mouth fell open at the sight of himself. Harry was going to have a heart attack when he seen him, hopefully not a literal one though.

Louis hadn't noticed while the shirt had been hung on the rack that it was see through. He moved from side to side and then turned around and looked over his shoulder to see his back. The muscles of his back were prominent and looked tonned underneath the fabric. He loved the way the shirt made his back look like it dipped in at the middle of his spine before curving back out to his tight ass.

He turned back to face the mirror and was happy to note that the shirt hid the little bit of chub he had but showed off his chest, arms and all the tattoos that covered them. Add to that his skinny jeans, just fucked hair and designer stubble and Louis was ready to roll.

Louis picked up his shirts from the floor and switching off the lights heading back towards the main living area where everyone was gathered. As he made it to the end of the hallway he could feel eyes on him.

Harry's eyes were glued to him, his mouth falling open at the sight of him. Louis could see Harry physically swallow and his hands were in tight fists at his sides, the knuckles slowly becoming white.

Louis discreetly held out his arms and slowly turned. He was still partially in the shadows of the hallway and only Harry could see him. He watched as Harry's eyes went wide as he turned. He stopped once he was facing Harry again and winked.

Harry had by this point brought both of this hands up to rest on the top of his head and was now pacing backwards and forwards breathing heavily as Louis emerged from the hallway with a smirk to find Zayn.

Louis found Liam and Zayn standing beside the island bench in the kitchen. He quickly stuffed his shirts into the bag with his hoodie in it as he approached them. Zayn was organising a host of large black briefcases opening and closing them all as he inspected the contents.

As Louis neared them Zayn looked at him raising his eyebrows with an amused grin. "Nice choice Tommo, see through looks good on you," Zayn said winking at Louis.   
"Yeah, quite partial to the old see through. Isn't that clubbing 101?" Louis replied nudging Zayn with his elbow playfully.

Zayn laughed at Louis' serious expression and clasped him on the shoulder. "Honestly though mate, thanks for letting me borrow one of your shirts. I was close to taking a knife to mine or just not wearing one at all. No way was I going looking like a dad," Louis said resulting in hysterical laughter from both Liam and Zayn.

"Honestly Tommo I like this sassy version of you, he's fun," Liam added. That one simple compliment from Liam made Louis beam with pride. His sassy side was his favourite side and when he felt most like himself.

He thanked Zayn once again before leaning against the island to face back towards the windows. Harry was still pacing and Louis was could see that he was flushed and mumbling nonsense to himself. Louis chuckled quietly as he watched and soon he wasn't the only one who had noticed Harry's weird behaviour.

"Um, Harry are you ok?" Lottie asked with a concerned look. Harry had stopped in his tracks and turned to face her. A smile appeared on his face and it looked almost like he'd snapped out of a trance. "Oh, um yeah, yeah im fine. Just have alot of pent up.... _energy_ , I need to use. Unfortunate post show side affect," Harry lied shooting Louis daggers.

Louis simply shrugged back at Harry with a smirk before it was announced they should get a move on. Louis had never felt more ready to go clubbing. Most people he was friends with today and even Lottie had never witnessed Louis in his element.

He'd been wild and the life of the party once. People had always invited him because they knew it wouldn't be a party without him. But after Ben had broken his heart Louis had lost that side of himself preferring to hide from life.

But this boy. This tall, gorgeous, curly haired Adonis with impossibly green eyes had unlocked the secrets Louis had been hiding away and now they were hiting him like a tidal wave all fighting to break free.

This after party may be to celebrate Harry. To celebrate all he'd achieved with this tour. But tonight Louis "Tommo" Tomlinson was coming out to play and by the end of the night Louis would have everyone there chanting his name. And maybe, if he was lucky he could have one particular someone moaning it.

.....

The drive to Lux hadn't taken long from Zayn's appartment. Louis had deliberately hurried into the Escalade and seated himself as far away from Harry as was possible.

He'd wanted to distance himself from Harry for the ride before ramping up the second part of his plan once they arrived. He called it a plan but honestly he had no idea what he was doing. All he knew was that Harry did things to him and he was going to make Harry painfully aware of it.

Harry had shot Louis a confused, anxious look but Louis had smiled back at him trying to reassure him. It seemed to work and Harry returned a small, shy smile.

Louis tapped his foot and twisted the hem of his shirt around in his lap as the car had hurtled them towards their destination. He just wanted to let loose and he was tired of waiting. He wanted to drink until he couldn't feel his face and dance until his feet felt like they'd fall off and whatever else happened was an added bonus.

Niall had become the unofficial group hype man. He'd broken out in song for most of the journey singing every club anthem he could think of with Liam joining in beat boxing along to whichever song popped into Niall's head.

Only Harry had remained still and silent. He'd watched Louis like a hawk the entire ride. Louis couldn't see him from where he was sitting but he didn't have to see him to know Harry was watching his every move.

Tim soon pulled the car up at the kerb outside of the club. There was a line of party goers lined up half way down the block behind a metal barrier with large, beefy security guards placed at intervals keeping order.

Louis took a deep breath and shook out his hair before turning to the group. "Right gang, we all know why we're here. We're here to sing, dance and dive head first into alcohol fueled shinanigans. We're gonna let loose and get fucking messy. Who's with me!? " Louis said, yelling the last part and the car erupted in cheers.

Harry smiled his dimply smile at Louis' words. He had cheered along with the rest of them but had reserved his smile especially for Louis.

"One more thing," Niall began. "If there aren't any pics or vids of tonight's antics then it didn't happen and you know I'll be taking pics and vids and so better you lot. And you best be on your worst behaviour cause you know Harry's twitter feed could use the excitement," he finished through a laugh.

Laughter filled the car and everyone exited with a smile on their face ready to get inside. As they approached the doors of the club a few girls at the front spotted Harry.

Soon the once peaceful crowd was screaming and cheering. Some girls were even trying to throw themselves over the barrier to get to him. Louis could feel Harry tense up beside him. He knew he hated this side of the fame. Louis was having none of it. He wasn't about to let a gaggle of screaming girls ruin Harry's night.

Louis slipped a hand around Harry's waist and turned to face him. Harry looked relieved. Louis gazed deep into Harry's eyes then. There was an emotion there that he didn't recognise but Harry's growing smile was all he needed. Again, a burst of courage engulfed Louis and he stood up on his tip toes and pressed a kiss to Harry's lips. A collective gasp could be heard from behind him but Louis never wavered. Harry simply closed his eyes and kissed Louis back, transferring what Louis thought was immense gratitude to him with his kiss.

Louis pulled away first and smiled up at Harry. He didn't look shocked or upset at the kiss or that hundreds of people, including their previously oblivious group had seen them. Harry looked happy. Genuinely, completely happy and Louis realised that was all he needed in this life. If he had nothing in this world other than that genuine look of happiness on Harry's face he'd be the happiest man alive and with that he turned and guided them both into the club. 


	8. Night Club's, Body Shots And Hotel Rooms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang get rowdy and messy at Lux. Harry and Louis put on a show and aren't afraid to show how they feel about each other and body shots lead to secret rendezvous.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE FEEL FREE TO CREATE AND LISTEN TO THIS PLAY LIST WHILE YOU READ. K PROMISE IT'S WORTH IT :) 
> 
> Can't Hold Us - Macklemore   
> Get Ugly - Jason Derulo   
> Yeah 3x - Chris Brown  
> Shots - LMFAO  
> All I Do Is Win - DJ Khaled ft. Ludacris  
> Stole My Heart - One Direction   
> Turn Me On - David Guetta ft. Nicki Minaj   
> I'm An Albatroz - AronChupa   
> Freaks - Timmy Trumpet & Savage   
> #SELFIE - The Chainsmokers  
> Dirty Dirty Dancer - Enrique Iglesias   
> Take Your Shirt Off - T Pain  
> S&M - Rihanna   
> What's Your Fantasy - Ludacris ft. Shawnna   
> Tonight (I'm Fucking You) - Enrique Iglesias   
> Perfect - One Direction

Louis' eyes didn't know where to look first as they emerged at the top of a flight of black stairs. The enterance to the main part of the club was flanked by two black and white wave like patterned walls. What lay beyond was like nothing Louis had ever seen.

It would probably come as a shock to most people if Louis had told them he'd never been to a club quite like this. That despite the people he rubbed shoulders with for work he'd never been one for opulence and over the top surroundings. It helped that the artists he'd worked with had preferred to come to his home and relax rather than being in some hot, stuffy studio or meeting at some pretentious restaurant or night club.

Louis hadn't realised he'd stopped dead at the top of the stairs until Harry had leaned down to whisper in his ear. "Lou love, are you ok?" he'd asked. Louis had simply looked at Harry with a stunned expression resulting in quiet laughter from Harry.

Louis had let Harry guide him further into the club then, eyes as wide as saucers attempting to take everything in at once and failing.

The club was spectacular. The floor was a muted grey grain wood that spread up a few of the surrounding walls and the front of the bar. The bar itself was illuminated by a large LED light panel that slowly morphed from red to purple to pink and back again.

Behind the bar arches were built into the wall that housed every manner of spirit and liquor Louis could think of and some he'd never even heard of. To the left of the bar was a line of seating areas. Small booths in grey leather with small black tables sectioned by small walls to give the illusion of privacy.

Above his head hung a full sized crystal chandelier that sparkled even in the dimly lit club. The only real lights being from the chandelier itself, small pendant lights that hung above the booths and the lights illuminating the bottles of alcohol behind the bar. The rest of the light was created by purple and red strobe lights.

In the light the walls looked black and the red and purple lights bounced off off them casting everything in a purple and red haze. On the opposite side from the booths was a small wooden stage. Louis wasn't sure what that was used for but the large golden hoop and man sized golden cage hanging next to it gave Louis some fun ideas.

There was also a stripper pole, a balcony that looked down over the main dance floor area and a make shift beer garden complete with astro turf on the ceiling.

Louis heart beat accelerated as a soft thumping slowly started to reverberate up through his feet. He looked up to see Zayn and Liam already situated behind the DJ booth. The front was emblazoned with a large black circle with the word LUX in gold letters. It also had their hash tag and Louis knew by tomorrow morning he and Harry would be front page news.

Louis snapped back to reality when Harry's hooded gaze came into focus. He looked incredibly sexy. Louis didn't know if it was the excitement, the coloured lights or the already thumping base line from the few starter tracks Zayn was playing but he felt drunk already and he was loving every second of it.

A salacious smile spread across his face then as he looked at Harry. Harry raised an eyebrow at him with a smirk obviously curious as to what Louis was thinking. He quickly whipped out his phone and messaged the gang via their group chat. It was probably a good thing Harry hadn't been added yet as this was going to prove a vital tool this evening.

 **@LTSongWriter :** _Hey gang. Listen up. Dunno if you've noticed or not but me and Haz have hit it off. Idk how or y but it's goin great and I wanna have some fun tonite. NO1! I REPEAT NO1 IS TO ADD HIM TO THIS GC!_

 **@LTSongWriter:** _Anygay Z, buddy, do a lad a favour and when I msg a song on here can u play it? I'll owe u big. Starting right now with SHOTS! ;)_

 **@LTSongWriter:** _oh and from now on Liam and Zayn r Ziam and Lottie and Niall r Nottie. Imma b 2 fucked soon 2 remember everyone's name deal with it. U can call Haz n I Larry._

Louis closed his phone and put it back in his pocket and winked at Harry who had stood watching him intently. He locked eyes with Nottie and they both smiled at him, Niall giving Louis a big thumbs up. He looked up to the DJ booth and Liam was clapping at him sarcastically and Zayn saluted his acknowledgement of the plan. Now it was time to get messy.

Harry looked confused at the five of them but Louis simply grabbed him by the wrist and dragged him over to the bar where Nottie were about to order the first round. Louis wasted no time taking charge.

"Barkeep! Please open an obnoxiously large tab under the name Styles please. Only us four and the two in the booth can order drinks on it," he said confidently. He looked at Harry expecting him to challenge him or protest at him spending his money without his permission but Harry just shook his head with a laugh and gestured for Louis to continue.

"No worries mate, what is it I can get for you?" the handsome barman asked.  
"Well, let me see..." Louis trailed off and no sooner had he spoken than the opening beats of the song he'd requested from Zayn started to thump through the club. Everyone already on the dance floor cheered and everyone jumped and danced and sang along to the popular song.

"Does that answer your question?" Louis shouted to the barman. He laughed at Louis and yelled back "Done, four shots coming right up!"

.....

A Jagger Bomb, two Cock Sucking Cowboys and the barmans specialty shot later and Harry felt sufficiently buzzed. As a rule he wasn't a big drinker but the end of tour party had always been the exception.

Harry also didn't have it in him to say not to Louis. He'd all of a sudden morphed into this sassy, sexy, confident man and Harry just couldn't get enough of it. Sure he was probably enabling Louis' antics a little but it'd been Harry's idea for alcohol fueled shinanigans after all. Louis was merely explicitly following instructions.

Harry had seated himself at a booth much to the protest of Louis, Niall and Lottie. Louis had wanted him to dance but Harry wanted the opportunity to admire Louis for a while. Harry had almost had a heart attack when Louis had strolled down the hallway in that muscle tee.

He really shouldn't be surprised. He was wearing a sheer shirt too but he did that alot. Louis honestly hadn't seemed the type, but Harry was so glad that he was.

Louis had amazing arms and a toned chest and back and the tee showed off his favourite part of Louis, his collar bones. They glistened with the sweat covering Louis as he jumped and danced and Harry couldn't take his eyes off of him.

Zayn was playing a particularly up beat, feel good song by DJ Khaled and Ludacris. Harry watched in awe as Louis rapped along to the verses, keeping time perfectly, dancing and jumping around with Niall and Lottie.

He almost looked younger to Harry. Like the weight of the world had been lifted and Harry was finally seeing the real Louis. As the song reached the middle of the chorus the entire dance floor was singing along and as the beat faded out everyone's hands shot into the air. The beat dropped and the chorus continued and Louis condinued to dance around a smile as big as the sun on his face.

It was at that moment as the song ended that Louis looked to Harry with a dazzling, eye crinkling smile and it was then Harry knew he was gone for this man.

Harry stood and strode towards the DJ booth. Louis spun around to watch him stride across the dance floor with a puzzled expression. Harry usually didn't sing at after party's and especially not his own songs but the need suddenly overcame him and he hoped what he was about to do worked.

He hopped up onto the raised platform beside Zayn and grabbed the mic that lay next to his deck. Zayn didn't argue with him and faded out the end of the track that was playing. Harry felt nevervous. That in itself showed how much he cared for Louis that what he was about to do was making him nervous.

He'd just come from Hisense Arena where he'd performed to ten thousand people and yet one man could have him a ball of nerves. Harry coughed to clear his throat before he spoke into the mic his voice echoing around the room.

"Hi, my names Harry," he said to a chorus of cheers and wolf whistles. The loudest of which came from Louis, Niall and Lottie. Harry smiled towards them as he continued to speak. "As some of you may know tonight we are here to celebrate the end of my Rock Me World Tour. These last months have been incredible and tonight has been one of the best of my life. I've been lucky enough to meet some incredible people here tonight, one very special someone in particular," the crowd fell silent at Harry's words. A few groups of women whispering amongst themselves no doubt trying to figure out who Harry's very special someone was.

"So, in the spirit of that I'd like to sing this next song. Anyone who was at the show will have heard it already tonight. I usually don't sing my own songs at after party's but hey why not right? I'd like to dedicate this one to someone dear to my heart. You know who you are," Harry finished and he whispered the song into Zayns ear before turning back to face the cheering crowd.

The opening beats of the song started and Harry locked eyes with Louis before beginning to sing. He knew the stupid closeted pronouns were all wrong but he hoped Louis knew he was singing only to him. He took a breath and sang.

**The light shines, it's getting hot on my shoulders.**  
**I don't mind, this time it doesn't matter.**

Harry could see Louis, Niall and Lottie dancing and singing at the back of the crowd nearest the booths as he sang but Louis' eyes never left his. Harry pointed vaguely out over the crowd as he sung the next part winking at Louis when he pointed at himself mouthing "me".

 **Cause your friends, they look good but you look better.**  
**Don't you know all night, I've been waiting for a guy like you to come around, 'round,' round**.

Harry smiled at the look of shock on the collective crowds faces. He'd decided a sneaky lyric change wouldn't hurt anyone and if his management had anything to say about it he'd deal with them later.

As the chorus started Zayn yelled into the mic "Everybody jump!" and the crowd went wild.

 **Under the lights tonight, you turned around.**  
**And you stole my heart, with just one look.**  
**When I saw your face, I fell in love.**  
**Took a minute boy, to steal my heart tonight**.

At the words "fell in love" Harry seen Louis' eyes go wide before a huge smile broke out over his face. Niall was patting him on the back and giving him a thumbs up. Obviously Louis had been wondering about what it was that they were doing. Harry knew he was too. He, just like Louis didn't want to be the one to put a label on it. Harry detested labels at the best of times, but even more so when it came to his love life.

He hoped that his declaration to Louis was clear. That this wasn't just some spur of the moment fling while Harry was abroad. He wanted this to last. He wanted this to work with Louis and he had both the money and resources to make that happen if thats what Louis wanted too.

.....

Louis was practically giddy by the time Harry had finished his song. He couldn't believe that he'd gotten up in front of around three hundred random strangers and sang about falling in love with him.

He'd even gone as far as changing the lyrics so that Louis knew it was no coincidence he'd been singing to him. Louis felt like he could burst with the pride and emotion he felt at Harry's kind and thoughtful gesture.

If anything it only made Louis horny knowing that Harry wanted him the same way that Louis wanted Harry. That inspired a new song choice from Louis and he quickly messaged Zayn as Harry left the DJ booth.

 **@LTSongWriter:** _Turn Me On. David Guetta. ;)_

Louis watched the DJ booth to make sure Zayn had recived the message along with everyone else. Niall had laughed aloud. Lottie had winked and Liam was jumping around the booth flailing his arms in obvious excitement as Zayn rolled his eyes. Three small dots signalled Zayn was replying and he looked at Louis with a smirk.

 **@TheDJLyf:** _Sorry fly boy. I'm taken ;)_

Was all the message said and Louis gave Zayn the finger with a laugh right as Harry approached him. This was it. It was show time. Harry was about to witness Louis in all his sassy, hoe glory and Louis lived for it.

The song started just before Harry had managed to work his way through the crowd and Louis beckoned him towards him with a finger as the opening lines of the song were sung. He swayed his body to the beat and he watched as Harry's eyes went from apprehensive to lustful in the blink of an eye.

Louis' heart beat quickened at the look in Harry's eyes and he involuntarily bit his bottom lip between his teeth. When Harry came into reach of Louis he grabbed Harry by the front of his shirt and slammed their bodies together.

As the song reached the chorus both Harry and Louis were grinding and dancing to the beat. Harry had taken one of Louis' hands and placed it around his neck and they continued to sway and grind and touch in time to the music.

Louis turned changing hands so that his back was flush with Harry's chest. His other arm coming back up around Harry's neck. Louis swayed his hips and his ass rubbed against Harry's cock as they danced.

Louis could feel Harry's nose brushing against his neck and as his lips reached Louis ear and Louis continued to grind up against him he could faintly hear Harry's low growl of pleasure in his ear.

Harry's hands were wrapped around Louis' waist his fingers gripping into the fabric of his shirt tightly. Louis threw his head back letting the feel of Harry's body against his back and his breath on his neck overtake him.

He rested his head against Harry's shoulder and pulled at the curls at the nape of Harry's neck. As the beat slowed into the chorus for a second time Louis obscenely rolled his body slowly into Harry's and as the bass dropped Harry sunk his teeth into Louis' neck.

An inaudible "Oh fuck!" escaped Louis' lips at the sensation only spurring him to grind harder against Harry as he made his mark on Louis. His plan was going way better than expected and by this point there was no need for a plan this was simply for fun.

Harry pulled away and licked over the mark he'd left on Louis' neck. As the end of the song neared Louis brought Harry down into a passionate, frenzied kiss and they danced and kissed until the final notes of the song died out.

They pulled apart, blue eyes gazing into green. They were both panting heavily but the smile they both shared could not be wavered. Harry leaned in giving Louis a soft, passionate kiss before he pulled him over towards the bar for another drink.

.....

Harry wasn't sure how but Zayn seemed to be playing the perfect songs tonight. Songs that made Louis laugh and smile, songs that made Louis act like a stripper with the rent due and Harry's whole body was alight.

Harry had never been used as a human strip pole before but it was something he was quickly growing to love. He'd only had four shots but he felt wasted. He knew though that it was Louis he was drunk on not the alcohol.

Harry stopped at the bar and watched as Louis scanned the crowd. "Who are you looking for love?" Harry half shouted into Louis ear so he could be heard over the music. "Nottie," Louis replied. Harry had no idea who Nottie was and why Louis was looking for them.

"Who's Nottie?" Harry asked. Louis rolled his eyes sassily at his question and Harry had to stifle a laugh. He loved Louis' sassy side. It was strong and fierce and he wanted him to be this Louis always.

"Niall and Lottie, Nottie. And I've named Zayn and Liam Ziam and we're Larry Stylinson. I'll be shit faced just shortly and it's less names for me to have to remember," Louis explained.

Harry laughed then. He couldnt keep up with Louis when he was like this. He took charge and gave an air that he wasn't to he messed with. It was clear as day he was here to have a good time and nothing and no one was going to get in his way. Everyone was along for the ride wether they liked or not.

Harry liked how they're joint names made his skin tingle. It had a nice ring too it. His thoughts ran wild as he rolled the name around his head and imagined what it would be like to one day join their names together for real. Not just some silly drunk ship name.

"Well that makes sense," Harry said. "I especially love our ship name," he said smiling at Louis. Louis' face lit up and he bowed dramatically. "Thank you dear Harold, I thought of it all by myself," he said.

If it hadn't been for the fact that Harry had only met Louis a few short hours ago he'd have sworn he was in love with this man already. But that was a ridiculous notion. No one fell in love at first sight. That was made up Hollywood nonsense dreamed up to sell movies. Or was it?

"Beer love?" Harry asked, pointing towards the bar. "And a tequila shot," Louis said batting his long dark eyelashes. Harry shook his head at him but ordered two beers and two tequila shots from the barman as he passed.

The barman returned after a few moments with their drinks. Louis held up his shot glass clinking it against Harry's before tipping his head back and downing it, holding the shot glass between his lips till every last drop had run out of the glass.

Harry followed suit throwing the shot back. He stared at how easily Louis was able to hold the shot glass in his mouth and he wondered what his cock would feel like in Louis mouth. What it would feel like to have Louis lick and stroke and suck his cock. To feel Louis' warm spit running down his length onto his balls and thighs.

Harry was snapped out of his very satisfying day dream by someone screaming next to him. "Yeah Dealine! Get it girls!" Louis was yelling wolf whistling at the end of the sentence. Harry frantically looked around for what Louis was yelling about. Dealine. That had to be another of his famous ship names. Then it hit him. He was talking about Dea and Caroline. They were obviously here but where?

Harry looked to the crowd and realised everyone was looking up. The beat of the music suddenly changed and Zayns voice could be heard over the speakers. "Ladies and gentlemen make some noise for my main girls Dea and Caroline!"

The crowd went wild and Harry looked up to see the two women from Zayns lobby grinding and dancing with each other in the guilded, gold cage hanging from the ceiling.

Harry sipped his beer as he watched with the rest of the crowd. His body continuing to sway to the music as the sounds of a stylised trumpet filled the room.

.....

Louis downed his tequila shot in one. It burned slowly down his throat and he cheekily watched Harry's expression change as he held the glass between his lips.

He knew the look Harry had on his face and he tried to keep his face neutral even though he wanted nothing more than than to have Harry's cock in his mouth. If Harry kept biting his neck and growling in his ear like he had earlier there was going to be a toilet stall or private room with their name on it sooner rather than later.

He put the shot glass back down on the bar and took a large swig from his beer. He turned back towards the crowd and spied Niall and Lottie talking with Zayn and Liam at the DJ booth.  He was very proud of his ship names and he was relieved that Harry hadn't freaked out at the name he'd picked for them.

He rummaged in his pocket for his phone and took a quick slightly drunk selfie before he messaged the group.

**@LTSongWriter:** _Oi oii! Are my girls here yet!?_

**...**

**@ThePayneTrain:** _They just arrived. Look up!_

Louis was confused by Liam's message but he pocketed his phone again and looked up. There in the large gold cage were two women. Louis realised that it was Dea and Caroline and hot damn those girls didn't disappoint.

Dea was dressed in skin tight, wet look, high waisted short shorts. She'd paired it with a black crop top and choker. Her hair fell in soft beach waves to her shoulders, the middle section at the front of her head held back in a chunky braid. The highlight of her outfit in Louis' opinion though were her killer Lara Croft boots.

They came up over her knee and the leather moulded to her calves accentuating their shape. They had a thick square heel and laced up from the toe to where they stopped mid thigh. Louis had been spot on in his assumption of her earlier. She was bad ass and fierce and a guaranteed good time.

Louis cheered them on, keen not to be the only person in the club letting their inner stripper out. Zayn introduced them over the mic and then ran the next track. Louis recognised the opening few bars of Freaks by Timmy Trumpet and the crowd went wild. He'd thought it had been the song but he'd not been paying attention to the girls and Caroline had begun to grind herself against Dea's side. Dea effectively becoming a human strip pole.

Louis instantly fell head over heels in love with the girls. He knew he'd be life long friends with them and he hadn't even officially met them yet. They were fierce and beautiful and didn't care who was watching them. He was slowly getting back there again and figured some like minded Queens could help.

Caroline was dressed in skimpy black, sequined booty shorts. Her long shapely legs and firm ass accentuated by the skin tight shorts and killer black heels she was wearing. Louis had to commend her choice of footwear. He knew some guys who's cock's didn't even have as many inches as her heels had.

Her blood red, lacy bralette top made her skin look like smooth porcelain and her dark blonde hair was held back in a slick pony tail. She stood with a foot either side of Dea's leg so that her body faced Dea's hip.

As the beat picked up Caroline swung her hips grazing her body across Dea's as she went. As the bass dropped so did Caroline, twerking to the beat before running a hand all the way up the inside of Dea's leg resting her had on her hip as she stood.

Dea turned to face Caroline and soon they were both grinding and swaying their bodies to the beat. The crowd cheered and wolf whistles rang out as the girls embraced, joining together in a passionate kiss.

Louis was proud of how far the LGBTQ+ community had come in Australia. He was proud that he and many others could freely show their love and weren't afraid to be seen in public with those that they loved. The girls had merely reaffirmed to him in that moment that if Larry was real there wasn't a thing anyone could do or say to prove otherwise.

.....

Zayn had compiled a play list of sexy, fun dance tracks and let it play so that he and Liam could join the group. Nottie, Ziam and Dealine had now joined Louis and Harry in the booth they'd occupied earlier.

Introductions had been made and everyone was laughing and talking and enjoying each other's company. Harry was sat between Zayn and Liam and he was starting to feel agitated. He needed to be close to Louis, he had to feel him under his finger tips and feel the warmth of his skin.

"What's the next song?" Harry asked Zayn. "I think it's Take Your Shirt Off," Zayn replied. "Thanks to you and your boyfriend setting pace I've had to dig up every sexy, orgasm inducing track I could find," Zayn said with a laugh.

Zayn had answered Harry's question but the only word that had registered in Harry's brain was "boyfirend". He loved the way it sounded. He wanted so badly to be able to call Louis his boyfriend and he hoped one day soon that would be a reality.

"Right you lot, one more round of shots then we're dancing!" Harry announced to the group. They all cheered and Niall hurried off to the bar soon returning with a tray laden with dark purple shots.

"Sambuca ladies and gents," Niall said laying the tray on the table with a flourish. When everyone had a shot glass a loud "cheers!" rang out and everyone downed their shot. When they were all back on the tray empty the group filed out of the booth all holding the hands of their respective partners and moved onto the dance floor.

**Tis the shit....**

Take Your Shirt Off began and the crowd cheered. It seemed every person in the club had crammed themselves onto the dance floor and soon hundreds of sweaty bodies were swaying and grinding to the beat. By the end of the first chorus there were half naked men as far as the eye could see all swinging their shirts over their heads in a helicopter motion.

Harry looked at Louis as they danced, his hands were on Harry's and as the words of the song rang out Louis grabbed both sides of Harry's shirt as he had before. This time Harry was ready for him and held his hands out to the side, throwing his head back closing his eyes.

Louis tore the shirt apart and Harry's torso was fully exposed. He looked back to Louis, his eyes were blown and they looked practically sinful. Harry made a show then of removing the shirt from his body before stuffing it into the back pocket of his jeans.

He sidled up to Louis in as sexy a fashion as he could manage. He wasn't known for being the most coordinatedly sexy person but he had his moments and he hoped this was one of them. When their bodies were touching Harry bowed his head and kissed Louis hungrily.

He continued to sway and grind against Louis. Louis had brought his hands up around Harry's back and had his nails digging into Harry's upper back. Harry could feel his dick growing hard in his jeans and he knew it would be on full display now.

He honestly couldn't care in that moment and in a moment of adrenalin fuled strength and brazeness he grabbed two fistfuls of Louis tee and ripped it apart until the it tore revealing Louis toned chest and stomach beneath.

Harry looked to Louis when a loud gasp escaped his mouth. Harry merely smirked back at him but secretly he was impressed that he'd had the strength to pull it off. He also made a mental note to buy two more of these shirts later. One to replace the one he'd just torn from Louis' body for Zayn and one for Louis.

Harry helped Louis remove the rest of his torn shirt as the song ended and they stayed on the dance floor embracing each other as the next song began. Louis' arms were now wrapped around Harry's neck and their half naked, sweaty bodies twined together as they danced, their lips following suit.

As Rhianna's S&M ended the now half naked group headed back to their table to the chorus of "Tequila Slammer body shots!" From Niall and Dea. That was one way to get Louis' mouth on his body and the thought made his skin tingle and his semi hard cock grow harder.

"I'll get the shots, you lot find a table big enough for my lanky ass and let's do this," Harry said and he sauntered over to the bar.

.....

Lottie was bouncing up and down hugging Niall and kissing him at the mention of body shots. Niall laughed and kissed her back and Louis smiled at the pair of them.

He'd almost forgotten it was Lottie's birthday, too wrapped up in Harry. She was having the time of her life though and no one could have asked for a better birthday. She was an incredibly lucky girl and Louis was glad he'd been able to make all of her wildest dreams come true for her.

Harry had announced he was going to the bar to get shots and Louis had eagerly watched him go. As he walked his back muscles moved under his tan skin and Louis' cock was hard at the sight of him. He couldn't wait to get his mouth on Harry and he hoped Harry would be up for some impromptu fondling in a dark corner somehwere afterwards.

It had been hard to find a surface big enough to accommodate Harry's height but they'd managed to clear a few tables and push them together as Harry returned followed by a random stranger holding two full trays if Tequila shots.

Harry thanked the kind stranger and set the trays down on another table near the ones they had pushed together. Along with the shots he had a tub of lemon slices and a small silver salt shaker. They were ready to go now and Niall was the first to volunteer.

Before he lay down on the make shift table he pulled his phone from his pocket and announced that the next however many minutes were to be filmed and Liam offered to be camera man until Niall had finished his turn. Happy that their shinanigans were about to be immortalised forever on film he lay down and winked at Lottie.

Lottie looked embarrassed and her cheeks were flushed but in true Tomlinson fashion she grabbed a lemon slice, tequila shot and the salt and walked confidently up to Niall.

She placed the lemon slice in Niall's mouth, poured the shot into his belly button then surprised everyone by licking a strip just above the waistband of Niall's jeans before covering it with salt. In one smooth motion Lottie bent her head to Niall's pelvis licking the salt before sucking the shot from his belly button and following up with the lemon slice in Niall's mouth.

Everyone erupted into cheers and whistles as Niall sat up kissing Lottie again. Louis didn't know how he felt at seeing his sister being so sexual but he wanted to suck off his almost boyfriend in a night club toilet so who was he to judge.

After Niall and Lottie's smooth performance it was decided that her placement of the salt, shot and lemon worked well and so they'd all followed suit.

They'd all taken their turns once each, Dea raising the bar by forgoing the lemon and just kissing Caroline hungrily instead to a chorus of cheers, Zayn had practically dry jumped Liam and now it was Harry and Louis' turn.

....

Harry volunteered himself to go first and he lay down on the table. He folded his hands behind his head and looked down his body to where Louis was standing beside the shots table at his feet. Louis grabbed a shot, a lemon slice and the salt and walked up to stand beside Harry's head.

He had the lemon slice gripped between his teeth and he bent his head towards Harry's mouth and deposited the lemon between Harry's teeth. Harry felt like his whole body was on fire and Louis hadn't even touched him yet. He needed Louis' hands and mouth on him badly and he wasn't sure how much longer he could last before he had Louis up against a wall.

Louis slowly walked back towards his feet and poured the shot into his belly button. The liquid felt cold against his heated skin and it took every ounce of concentration Harry had to keep still so that it wouldn't spill.

He'd realised then that Louis had deliberately left the salt strip till last now forcing Harry to remain perfectly still as he applied it, the shot already in place. Tommo The Tease. That's what Harry was calling him from now on. He loved how Louis teased him and it was an oddly enjoyable form of torture.

They boys had chosen to remain top less even though most people had put their shirts back on long ago. Harry could see the sweat glistening off of Louis' back as he bent his head towards Harry's pelvis. Harry held back a gasp at the site of him and screwed his eyes shut in concentration.

Harry suddenly regretted wearing his jeans painfully low as he was sure a small section of his pubic hair was poking out of the waistband of his boxers and jeans. His suspicion was confirmed as Louis' tongue scraped a line across the smattering of hair at his waistband.

Harry's cock was rock hard in his tight jeans and he found himself urgently needing release. He felt the salt being poured onto his skin and Louis looked up to meet his eyes. His eyes were hooded and smouldering and Harry nearly came at the sight of him.

How had he been this lucky? This man standing half naked before him was the most stunning man he'd ever seen in his life and soon he'd be all his. If it killed him Harry vowed they'd be together.

Harry looked away from Louis' gaze and took a deep breath readying himself for what was to come next. Louis bent his head then, placing a hand on Harry's thigh, his fingers lightly skimming Harry's hard length as painfully slowly licked the salt from Harry's skin. He then lazily moved to Harry's belly button where he made a show of sucking out the shot. Harry couldn't help the gasp that escaped him as Louis licked and sucked the liquid from his belly before moving to Harry's mouth.

Their eyes met and to Harry it felt as though time had stood still. He watched as Louis' mouth came down to meet his. He quickly sucked on the lemon slice before spitting it to the floor and kissing Harry as though his life depended on it. The group whistled and cheered at the pair of them but before Harry knew what was happening Louis was dragging him off though the crowd.

.....

Louis dragged Harry towards the stairs leading down to the main entrance of the club. As they reached the stairs he stopped and turned to face Harry. "I can't wait Haz. I need to be inside you and I need it now, take me home," he breathed almost pleading.

Harry groaned at Louis' words before kissing him, wrapping his arms around his naked torso. He pulled back reluctantly and pulled his phone from the pocket of his jeans. He quickly punched in a number and raised the phone to his ear.

"Mr Styles are you ready to go?" Tim asked as he answered the call. "Sure am and Tim, hurry," Harry breathed. He wanted out of here and Louis in his bed as soon as was humanly possible. "Yes sir," Tim answered and the line went dead.

Harry pocketed his phone once more and quickly kissed Louis before dragging him down the stairs and out into the street. They didn't have to wait long before Tim pulled up on the curb, the tyres screeching as he came to a sudden stop.

Harry threw the back door of the Escalade open and hurried in Louis following in behind him and closing the door.

"To the Sofitel please Tim as quickly as possible. Also could you please call ahead and reserve three more suites in my name and also get word to Zayn Malik that Louis and I are at the hotel and that there's a suite waiting for all of them when they're ready?" Harry asked. Polite even in his current state.  
"Of course Mr Styles, consider it done," Tim replied and slowly a dark glass divider began to rise from behind his head rest.

Before Harry could say another word Louis was once again in his lap and their lips came crashing together harshly in his haste. Harry had quite honestly never felt like this about anyone ever before in his life.

He loved the way Louis took charge and decided the pace. It was fast yet passionate and his touch was soft and tender. The contrasting sensations were driving Harry wild. His skin was wet with sweat and his breathing was ragged, unable to catch his breath as Louis continued to kiss him.

The car rumbled along the streets of Melbourne stopping and starting as they stopped at traffic lights along the way. Louis had moved his mouth to Harry's neck and was slowly leaving a trail of kisses as he worked down his body.

Louis sat up and looked at Harry then. Harry almost came undone at the look on Louis' face alone and he knew he'd never tire of it. He'd been too busy staring into Louis' glassy, blue eyes to notice that his hand was inching towards the waistband of his jeans.

It wasn't until Louis' hand was palming at his hard cock beneath his boxers that Harry had noticed and a gutteral groan escaped him. Louis looked at Harry with a salacious smile as he continued to stroke and palm at his hard length.

Groans and growls continued to rumble out from somewhere deep inside Harry and he felt like a wild animal that needed to be freed. His body ached for Louis' touch as though his body was made specifically for him and Harry welcomed it.

Harry was getting worked up now and a pool of hot desire started to form low in his belly. They were both panting and sweating and touching as the car pulled to a stop outside the hotel. Tim had knocked on the divider to signal their arrival and Louis had hurridley scrambled out of the car with Harry hot on his heels.

Harry took Louis' hand and they practically ran through the lobby of the hotel to the bank of elevators attracting stares from the night staff as they went. Harry was sure his half naked ass would be world wide, front page news tomorrow but he didn't care, all he cared about was the man beside him.

The elevator arrived and Harry pushed Louis into it hastily backing him up against the back wall. He punched in the number of his floor and the elevator slowly started to ascend.

Harry had Louis' hands pinned above his head with one of his hands, the other coming down to cup Louis' hard length teasing him through his jeans, kissing him as he teased him.

Harry could have sworn Louis almost whined his name at the touch and he renewed their kisses with yet further heat and passion. Harry tired to pour everything he felt for Louis and everything Louis meant to him into their kisses and he hoped that Louis understood just how much Harry needed him.

The elevator finally arrived at Harry's floor and he pushed his way out the doors before they were even fully opened. Louis trailed along behind him as he hurried down the hallway and hastily unkocked the door to his suite.

Once inside Harry kicked closed the door kissing Louis and guiding him towards the bedroom. He'd be sure to give Louis a tour tomorrow but for now he needed him naked. Harry wanted Louis inside him and to feel full and dominated by the beautiful man he couldn't be away from for a second.

As they entered the bedroom Louis pulled away from their kiss. He was breathing rapidly, his breathing coming in short gasps and Harry wasn't sure how he hadn't passed out. He stared at Harry with a raw hunger, a hunger Harry was familiar with. A hunger that had to be sated.

Harry kicked off his boots Louis following suit, kicking off his vans as they continued to devour each other with their eyes.

Louis licked his lip before biting down on it as he raked his eyes over Harry's slender body. Harry felt a primal need to feel every inch of Louis' skin. He needed to kiss it and touch it and caress it.

He walked slowly up to Louis so as not to startle him, and lifted him up supporting under his firm ass with both hands and walked him to the bed.

Harry sat down so that Louis was straddling him once more and their kisses slowed, becoming gentle and tender. Louis had a hand in Harry's hair and he could feel him moving his fingers through it. He was gentle and the touch felt intimate. He wasn't hurting Harry nor was Louis trying to and Harry realised that although he loved the wild side of Louis it was these soft tender moments between them that he loved most.

He watched as Louis pulled back from their kiss and his eyes crinkled as he smiled cheekily at Harry. He didn't know what was going through Louis' mind at that moment but he soon found out when Louis pulled his head scarf down over his eyes plunging him into darkness.

This was hot. Harry had never tried anything remotely in the realm of blind folds and hand cuffs but he had to admit this had taken things to another level. Harry now had to rely on his hearing to know where Louis was and what Louis was going to do.

It was exhilarating and his heart beat sounded loud in his ears, he tried to steady his breathing but it was useless and Harry was effectively working himself up and Louis had done nothing to him yet.

Harry felt Louis stir on his lap and he moved his hands down to Harry's chest and pushed him backwards so that he was lying on the bed. Harry had no idea what Louis would do next but it wouldn't matter what it was it would drive Harry wild, the make shift blind fold seeming to heighten every other sense one hundred fold.

Louis' lips came down to meet Harry's and he kissed him back once his brain had adjusted to what was happening. He could feel Louis fiddling with the button and zip of his jeans and soon Louis' weight had disappeared from Harry's legs.

Harry could only assume he'd stood up as he hadn't felt the bed move beside him and he couldn't hear Louis walking about the room. The not knowing was driving Harry crazy but he guessed that was the appeal behind a blind fold to begin with.

What was he going to do? Where would he touch him or kiss him? Would he be gentle or would he be rough? All of these questions were consuming Harry's mind so he'd not been prepared for Louis to kiss along the waisted band of his jeans and he gasped as Louis lips connected with his skin, a trail of firey heat following in its wake.

.....

Louis stared down at the beautiful man lying beneath him. Harry's chest was rising and falling rapidly his arms stretched out at his sides as he lay on the bed. His skin was glistening with sweat and it made the black tattoos littering his torso and arms stand out in stark relief.

Louis was captivated by the way Harry's muscles moved beneath his skin as he breathed, the way his soft plush lips were parted slightly and his hands grasped the sheets of the bed. Louis couldn't decide where he wanted to kiss and touch first but his cock was aching now and he needed to feel Harry's heat wrapped around him.

Louis hoped Harry had lube stashed somehwere as he didn't want this to be a painful experience for either of them. But if he didn't Louis would be sure to try and prepare him as best as he could.

Louis stood from where he was straddling Harry's thighs and padded as quietly as he could to the bedside table hoping that Harry couldn't hear him. All that could be heard in the room was Harry's ragged breathing and it sounded loud in the silence of the room.

Louis gently pried the small drawer open as slowly as he could manage and to his surprise and relief he found a half empty bottle of lube. He smirked down at the bottle knowing fine well what Harry used it for and vowed to make his hand permanently redundant by the time he was done.

He wanted Harry to crave him, to crave only his touch and his kiss and the feel of his hard length buried deep inside him so that every other sensation paled in comparison. Louis hadn't been intimate with anyone for a long time though so he hoped he was able to live up to his own hype and not disappoint Harry.

Louis took the lube from the drawer and placed it gently on the beside table before stealthily prying his sweaty, clinging jeans and boxers from his body. He turned back to face Harry and stroked his hard length as he watched him. It felt a little dirty to be stroking himself like this while Harry couldn't see him but it was hot and Louis was ready.

He walked up in between Harry's parted legs and carefully knelt between them trying to avoid touching him. Louis leant forward once he was in a comfortable kneeling position and placed a kiss to the spot where the salt had been.

Harry gasped and arched his back at the touch and Louis smiled at himself pleased that he'd taken Harry completely by surprise. There was something to be said about having to sneak around the house when Lottie had been younger.  Who knew that skill would actually prove useful.

As Louis continued to kiss along Harry's sensitive skin he worked his fingers into the waist band of Harry's jeans and slowly pulled them down. It was easier than Louis had expected as Harry was bucking his hips and arching his back at Louis' kisses.

Soon they were off and had joined Louis' in a heap on the floor. He moved from where he was leaning over Harry so that he was sat back on his feet. Starting at Harry's knee he licked and sucked his way up Harry's inner thigh. A soft, breathy "oh god" escaped Harry's lips as he mouthed over his hard length through his tight boxers.

The swollen tip of Harry's cock was peeking out of the top of his boxers and Louis placed a gentle kiss to it and  Harry cried out. Louis felt powerful and sexy and finally like he was in some semblance of control. For once it was Harry who's brain was turning to jelly as Louis inflicted wave after wave of mind numbing sensation on him.

Louis gripped the waist band of Harry's boxers between his teeth and slowly started to pull them down over Harry's hard length. His nose brushed the skin beneath it and Harry's cock twitched in response, pre cum already glistening at his slit.

.....

Harry lifted his hips as Louis pulled at his boxers and soon they were around his ankles. He kicked them off not knowing which direction they flew and now he was lying naked beneath Louis, exposed and vulnerable at the mercy of this beautiful man.

He could feel Louis' warm hands resting on his thighs and it felt as though he was being branded. Everywhere Louis touched felt like it was on fire and Harry was starting to struggle with all of the sensations his body was experiencing.

Louis was kissing his way back up the inside of Harry's thigh and Harry gasped when Louis pushed his legs apart exposing his entrance to him. Harry could feel the blush rising on his cheeks and he was glad Louis was too preoccupied to notice.

Louis licked and sucked at Harry's opening, the tight ring of muscle tightening against Louis' tongue and Louis let out a deep, raw groan. Harry's body was incredibly responsive and it was a huge turn on to Louis.

He wasn't sure how but he just seemed to be able to tell what would please Harry the most. Know what would drive him crazy till he was practically begging Louis to fuck him.

He continued to lick and suck and kiss at Harry's tight hole, Harry's fingers coming to rest in Louis' hair gripping tightly. Louis couldn't help the grin that spread across his face and was relieved that he hadn't lost his touch.

It was different with Harry than it had been with any other man. He felt himself wanting to pleasure Harry for hours, to drag this out so that Harry was reduced to a 6ft tall ball of raw sensation but he knew fine well neither of them would be able to survive that now.

Louis worked his tongue upwards from Harry's opening up across his swollen balls and up the underneath of his shaft until he reached his leaking tip. Harry's cock twitched and quivered and Harry called out. "Oh fuck, please Lou, please."

Louis hadn't really done anything to Harry yet and he was already pleading with him. It spurred Louis on and he groaned at the breathy way Harry said his name. He took Harry's cock in his mouth and the weight of him on his tongue felt exquisite.

He was hard and soft and warm and Louis took him into his mouth without hesitation. Harry had a tight grip on Louis' hair and he didn't care that it was painful or that he would possibly have a bald spot tomorrow, he simply bobbed his head slowly slicking Harry's cock with his warm spit.

Louis gradually took more of Harry's length into his mouth as he bobbed his head in a steady rhythm. He alternated between sucking firmly then gently and flicked the head of Harry's cock every time his mouth reached the tip.

Harry was writhing beneath Louis and he placed both of his hands firmly on his hips to keep him still. Harry was seeking release and Louis knew that with all theyd done that night it was a miracle either of them had lasted this long.

Louis' cock was now throbbing painfully. He needed the feel of Harry around him, to feel him stretching and retracting around his hard pulsing cock and he needed it now.

He sucked hard at Harry's cock as his mouth came up his shaft once more and he pulled away from it with an audible pop. Louis scrambled up to kiss Harry, their tongues caressing each other both of them now frantic with need.

Louis wasted no time coating his fingers and Harry's hole with lube as he spoke. "Are you sure this is what you want love? Please tell me if its not or if I'm hurting you. I'll stop at any time just say the word and I'll stop," Louis breathed trying to reassure Harry that although Louis may be taking charge it was all on Harry.

"I'm sure Lou, please baby, fuck me. I need to feel you inside of me. I need to feel you filling me," Harry moaned and it was all the reassurance Louis needed.

Louis slowly pressed a finger to Harry's entrance. He pressed slowly harder until Harry relaxed and his finger slid in. He stopped allowing Harry's body to adjust to the foreign sensation and when he felt Harry's body relax against his finger he pushed in further. He stopped again till Harry adjusted and when he was satisfied he was comfortable he began to move his finger in and out of him.

He did it slowly at first then picked up the pace as Harry began to mumble and moan incoherently. Every few words he thought he could hear Harry moaning his name but he couldn't be sure.

"I'm going to try another finger baby," Louis breathed against Harry's thigh and he looked up to gauge Harry's response. Harry simply nodded his head and Louis slowly pressed another finger into him. He pushed it in slowly the same way he'd done with the first finger, licking and sucking at Harry's ring as he went making sure that Harry wasn't becoming dry.

Once again Harry had a fistful of Louis hair. It was a major turn on for Louis and although Harry hadn't done anything to him yet Louis needed to let Harry know how good he made him feel. Now that he had two fingers buried deep inside Harry's tight ass he hooked his fingers and knew the moment he brushed Harry's prostate .

Harry had nearly torn the hair from Louis' head but he'd bitten back the scream that threatened to escape him not wanting to ruin the moment for them. A third finger soon joined the other two and Louis scissored and curved his fingers inside of Harry until he was sure he was ready.

Louis had been ready for this moment hours ago but he wanted this to be pleasurable for Harry so he'd waited, taking the time and care that Harry deserved. Louis slowly removed his fingers from Harry and he heard him gasp at the sudden emptiness.

Louis crawled up the bed laying beside Harry and slowly removed the blindfold. Harry blinked as his eyes adjusted, the room was only lit by the moonlight streaming in the windows but his eyes needed time to adjust none the less.

Louis dragged him up the bed so that Harry's bouncy curls were fanned out against the pillow before placing a kiss to his lips. He searched Harry's eyes for a hint of doubt but he found none and positioned himself between Harry's legs and coated himself in the cool lube.

Harry nodded at Louis' hesitation as if to reassure him that it was ok form him to continue. Louis pressed the tip of his cock to Harry's opening and slowly pushed his way inside. Harry's eyes flew shut and he breathed out a long moan, his head falling to the side as Louis pressed slowly into him.

Harry's hands wound their way up the backs of Louis' thighs and gripped at his tight ass as Louis bottomed out. "Please Lou, please," Harry breathed and Louis began to move his hips until he found a steady rhythm.

Harry felt devine around Louis' swollen cock. He was tight and gripped Louis in a way he'd never experienced. He'd never felt anything like this in his life and before he'd realised what he was doing he was pounding into Harry.

Harry's hands were at Louis' shoulder blades and as Louis pounded into him, brushing his prostate with every thrust Harry dragged his nails down Louis' back. Louis cried out at the mix of sensations and Harry was mindlessly rambling. "Oh god Lou, you feel so good baby. Harder baby, please."

Louis couldn't believe he was here. He was here, his lips and limbs tangled with Harry's as he pounded into him over and over again. They were a blur of lips and limbs and tangling fingers. They were breathless and sweaty and Louis gripped Harry's cock and began to stroke to the rhythm of his thrusts.

Harry began to tighten around Louis and he knew they were both nearing their orgasm. "Oh god, oh god, fuck Lou I'm close, please baby," Harry moaned into Louis' ear and it was enough to send Louis over the edge. His hot cum erupted from his cock and filled Harry as he continued to ride out his orgasm still stroking Harry's hard leaking cock.

Louis leant down so that his mouth was over Harry's exposed neck near Harry's ear. "Come for me baby," he breathed and latched onto Harry's neck as Harry had done to him at the club.

Harry let out a strangled cry and Louis thought he'd never heard anything more beautiful in his life, his hand now warm from Harry's cum.

Harry turned his head and opened his eyes. He looked at Louis then, his eyes reflecting an emotion Louis thought almost could be love but he shook the thought from his mind. Louis stared at Harry, his green eyes pulling him into their depths. Louis stroked back Harry's  sweaty hair from his face and kissed him gently on the mouth.

Neither of them spoke. Neither felt the need to and simply caressed and kissed each other softly. Harry was covered in the cum Louis hadn't managed to catch and they were both sweaty and in need of a shower but Louis didn't care in that moment.

He was too tired and too sated to move and instead he pulled out of Harry as gently as he was able and lay down on his back next to him. Harry curled up into Louis' side, both of them staring out the window as the sky began to show signs of the coming dawn. Louis was still mindlessly running his fingers through Harry's hair and soon Harry's breathing had evened and he was snoring softly against Louis' chest.

Louis began to hum softly to himself. A song springing to his mind as he lay there watching the sun begin to rise. He'd not written a song for himself in the longest time and he was surprised now was the time his brain had picked to bring a song to life.

Louis let the words slip from his mouth quietly and with a slow satisfied and sleepy breath he drifted off to sleep, wrapped in Harry's arms.

_**But if you like causing trouble up in hotel rooms,** _  
_**And if you like having secret little rendezvous,** _  
_**If you like to do the things you know that we shouldn't do,** _  
_**Baby I'm perfect,** _  
_**Baby I'm perfect for you.....** _


	9. Perfect Songs, War Wounds And Scars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Because," Harry said, "I want to see how many times you needed me and I wasn't there. Because I want you Lou, because you're all I've ever wanted or needed. Because I want to help you put all your broken pieces back together and because, you feel like home. "

Louis' eyes flew open in a panic as his brain registered he was struggling to breathe. He felt overheated and slightly claustrophobic and it only made his breathing situation worse.

In his sleep addled state he wasn't sure where he was or how he'd gotten there but it soon came rushing back to him when he realised why he wasn't able to breathe.

Brown unruly curls tickled the underneath of his chin and Harry's warm breath danced across his collar bone. Harry had somehow managed to wriggle his way on top of Louis while he slept, his dead weight baring down on him.

Louis calmed now that his brain had caught up to what was going on, registering he was safe in Harry's bed. As the throught crossed Louis' mind a fresh wave of panic set in. _He_ was in _Harry's_ bed. Louis Tomlinson was in Harry Styles' bed with the one and only sprawled out naked on top of him.

This had been all fun and games last night when they'd both been horny and drunk. But now that it was the morning and they'd both sobered up a bit would Harry still feel the same way?

Louis had to get out from under this beautiful sleeping boy and gather his thoughts. More panicked questions started to flood his mind. Where were his clothes? What time was it? Where was his phone? Where was Lottie!? Oh god he'd forgotten about Lottie.

He'd been so intent on getting Harry out of the club and naked he hadn't even given Lottie a second thought. He felt horrible and he sighed heavily throwing his head to the side and his arm over his eyes with Harry still sleeping peacefully on top of him.

After a few moments of deliberating the best way get out of bed without waking Harry he decided that the only way was to just wiggle out from under him and hope he was in a deep enough sleep not to notice.

Slowly Louis moved his leg out from under the one Harry had draped over him. Harry didn't so much as twitch so he quickly continued, careful not to make any sudden movements. Louis felt silly sneaking about like he'd be caught by his Mum at any moment, but he needed time to process his thoughts and check to see how much damage control Harry would need to do today before he faced him.

After a few more silent minutes of struggling, Louis had managed to ungracefully wiggle his way out from underneath Harry onto a heap on the floor beside the bed. He tried to stifle off the laughter he felt bubbling inside of him at the ridiculousness of the situation and sat up trying to orient himself with his surroundings.

Louis knew that they were at the Sofitel, in Harry's suite but on which floor that was located and what number suite he was in he had no idea. He also vaguely remembered Harry asking his driver to book three more suites in his name for the rest of their ever expanding group and he idly wondered if they'd taken him up on the offer.

Louis' eyes raked over the room before him. It was truly a beautiful suite. The bedroom they were in was decorated in muted creams, browns and grays. It was modern and elegant yet understated and didn't scream over the top luxury. The three windows on the other side of the massive king bed opened out onto a spectacular view of the city and the warm sun was streaming in through them heating Louis' skin.

Louis could see a door slightly behind him that was closed and another to the left of that which led out to another part of the suite. Louis assumed the closed door led to a bathroom and in that moment he decided his first order of business would be to shower.

He was covered in sweat, come, tequila and a host of other suspicious fluids. As much as he wanted a shower to calm his growing nerves and relax his sore muscles he was also hesitant. He almost didn't want to wash away the events of the night before. It had been the best night of his entire life and he wondered if it was all about to come to a resounding end.

It was inevitable that Harry would soon be awake, he wouldn't sleep forever and Louis knew there could only be two ways this would play out. Harry of course would be a perfect gentleman, thank Louis profusely for a wild night and a happy ending and send him on his way without a backwards glance or, he would want to continue what they started, see where things led, get to know each other more and maybe even make this a permanent arrangement and Louis couldn't decide which of the two options was more terrifying.

Before he could continue down that rabbit hole Louis quickly hoisted himself up off of the floor wincing as his sore muscles protested the sudden movement. Louis padded quietly in the direction of what he thought was the bathroom and slipped inside.

Louis had been correct in his assumption. The bathroom was just as large and just as grand as the bedroom he'd just left, but again tastefully understated. A double sink, a large double shower and small toilet were all that occupied the room but the smooth marble tiles, tasteful artwork and gorgeous flower arrangement made the room feel calm and peaceful.

Louis caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror above the sinks as he moved further into the room and gasped in horror at his reflection. The noise sounded loud even to his own ears as it reverberated around the bathroom. His hair now resembled an undignified birds nest, his stubble seemed to have grown exponentially since he'd last seen it and the bags under his eyes were dark and prominent against his skin and he was convinced he could fit Zayn's entire DJ set up in them.

That however wasn't the reason Louis was now looking at his still naked form with a horrified expression. It was the large purple bruise on his neck, the purple and green tinged finger bruises at his hips and the deep, red furrows that trailed down his back that had caught his attention.

He touched his neck and his hips where the bruises marred his skin, mouth agape and eyes wide. As his fingers skimmed his skin his face slowly transformed into a fond warm smile. As he touched each bruise the memories of how they'd gotten there replayed in his mind.

Harry, it was all Harry. _Harry_ had marked him on the packed, heaving dance floor. _Harry_ had left bruises on his hips from where he'd clung to him like a life line. _Harry_ had left nail marks in the skin of his back, visibly showing the world that they had indulged in each other's bodies that night. It was all Harry. Everything always came back to Harry.

It was then that Louis allowed himself to hope that Harry's thoughts were as consumed by him as his were of Harry. That some way, some how they could make this work. That Harry would want to make this work. Harry had alluded to it the night before after they'd shared passionate, heated kisses in his dressing room.

But Louis needed to hear the words. He needed Harry to spell it out for him in black and white. To make it crystal clear just what it was he wanted from Louis. Louis sighed still staring at his reflection now feeling sad at the thought that this beautiful thing that he and Harry had shared could possibly be over.

He turned and walked into the twin shower, turning it on and standing back till the temperature adjusted. When it was the perfect mind numbing temperature Louis stepped under the spray and let the hot water wash away his worries and ease his mind.

.....

Harry woke to what sounded like rain and a beautiful, angelic voice somewhere off in the distance. He was laying face down on the king size bed, the warm April sunshine warming his skin.

He rolled over onto his back, the startlingly beautiful voice still filling his mind, seeping into his pores like a living thing. He stretched his arms high above his head before flopping them down at his sides. It was then he realised he was alone.

Harry's eyes flew open and he scrambled into a sitting position wildly darting his eyes around the room. The beautiful melodic voice continued to sing as he searched for the beautiful man who he'd spent the night with.

His heart was racing and his chest felt tight as the thought that Louis might have left while he slept hit him. He hoped and prayed that he'd simply be in another room of the suite, his stomach twisting into knots, unshed tears littering his eyes at the thought of the alternative.

But all Harry's mind was registering was the sound of rain and the voice he couldn't place. But it wasn't raining. And Harry didn't have a radio and it sounded much too much like whoever was signing was in the suite not coming from a recording.

Harry got up from the bed and mindlessly followed the stunning mixture of melodies. He didn't have to go far, stopping outside the bathroom door, the voice getting louder as he approached.

There was only one person on the planet who could possibly be in his shower other than him and his jaw dropped as he realised who the voice belonged to. This he had to see. He needed to see for himself that such an emotion charged, angelic voice was coming from his Louis.

_His Louis_. The words sounded forgien but true as they bounced around Harry's head and he wasted no more time before gently opening the bathroom door and sneaking in.

Harry slowly crept inside and closed the door behind him leaning against it. Louis' voice was all consuming inside the expanse of bathroom, the tiled walls creating a perfect acoustic.

Harry found himself closing his eyes and ever so gently swaying along and humming to the song that was now starting to become familiar, although he was sure he'd never heard it before.

Louis was singing to the drain as Harry reopened his eyes. His head was bent between his arms that were holding himself up against the wall. The water from the shower cascaded down his back and over his head forcing his wet hair forward obscuring his face.

Harry watched the water rush over Louis' muscular back, curved hips and magnificent ass, singing the verse and chorus of the song again and again.

Harry didn't know how long he stood there, just admiring Louis. Admiring his body, his voice and the words he was singing. As he sang, more lyrics followed and soon there was another verse and another chorus and Harry was awed as he realised this was Louis' song, a complete original Louis was forming before his eyes.

Harry was trying to follow along with Louis' thought pattern. Trying to predict where Louis would take this. Trying to imagine how it would sound with instruments and some backing vocals. He even wondered what it would sound like if they sang it together. The thought making Harry smile. The song was catchy and slightly upbeat but still held lyrics Harry knew people would relate to.

Could they sing a track together? Did Louis sing for other people? Or was Harry intruding on something very private? Harry was startled from his thoughts eyes flying to Louis as he slammed his fists against the wall in obvious frustration.

"It's missing something, it needs something," Harry heard him say over the rush of water, banging his first against the wall again. Louis took a deep breath in and began at the top singing the lyrics he'd already written in his head. Harry kept quite but sang along with Louis in his head, harmonising and adding his own flare as he went.

As Louis reached the end of the second chorus he stopped, sighing heavily. Harry knew what it needed. The words sprang to his mind in an instant and he knew that they were exactly what the song needed.

In an a few strides Harry was standing in the shower behind Louis. Louis still hadn't noticed he was there and Harry hoped what he was about to do would go to plan and Louis wouldn't lash out at him. It was a risk but it was worth it.

......

Louis didn't know where the lyrics had come from, what had triggered them or why they'd chosen that moment to spring to mind. He vaguely remembered forming part of the chorus last night as he fell asleep wrapped in Harry's arms.

It had been a very long time since Louis had written a song he'd not been paid to write, in fact it had been a very long time since Louis had written at all and it was that aspect alone that urged Louis to explore this and see where it went.

Louis' muscles still ached from the exertion of the day before and he used his arms to prop himself up at arms length from the wall, letting the heat from the water seep into them.

It didn't take long before lyrics and a melody were flying through his mind. Words formed on his tongue, escaping his mouth before he knew what was happening. Louis could sing, he knew he could but he rarely shared that fun fact with anyone.

He preferred to write the songs and listen to other people sing them despite constant protests form his family and closest friends that he should sing them himself.

Singing felt cathartic. It eased Louis' mind and racing thoughts and the lyrics helped him to express what he couldn't say aloud. Louis sang and sang, repeating the lyrics over and over until more followed.

Louis didn't know how long he'd been in there for or how many times he'd repeated the lyrics to himself. The song was forming, it had meaning and body. But it was missing something and Louis lashed out at the wall in frustration. "It's missing something, it needs something," he said aloud. He didn't know if he was talking to himself or hoping for a sign from the great beyond.

Louis sighed heavily and began again, singing the words with emotion and conviction hoping to trigger whatever it was he was missing. As he reached the end of the second chorus his inspiration had run dry and he lashed out at the wall again.

It was then that two strong arms wrapped around Louis' torso. He jumped at the sudden touch coming to stand up straight, his back slamming into a hard, toned chest, two hands holding him in a tight grip.

Louis would know those arms and that chest and those hands anywhere. When the initial shock had subsided he relaxed into Harry's hold. Louis would never get enough of this beautiful boy. He would never get enough of how his body felt against his or how it lit up at Harry's touch.

Louis let his head loll to the side resting it against Harry's shoulder, closing his eyes and surrendering. In Harry's arms he felt safe, he felt wanted, he felt cherished but above all in Harry's arms he felt like he was home and that's all he'd ever need.

Harry ran his nose up Louis' exposed neck, pressing a gentle kiss beneath his ear lobe. He took a deep steadying breath, holding Louis tighter and sang softly into his ear.

_**And if you like camera's flashing every time we go out,** _   
_**Oh yeah,** _   
_**And if your looking for someone to write your break up songs about,** _   
_**Baby I'm perfect,** _   
_**Baby we're perfect.....** _

Louis' heart soared. It was perfect. It was exactly what had been missing and as if on queue Harry began singing the chorus one last time with Louis. Their voices mingled together creating the perfect harmony as they sang. In the confines of the bathroom, with the shower pouring down on them Louis felt awed.

Louis had never heard Harry's voice sound more beautiful. He'd heard him sing a million times before but this time it was different. It was intimate and intense and only for Louis. But the fact that he was signing one of Louis' songs with their voices joining together seamlessly stirred a fire in Louis he didn't want to extinguish.

When the song came to an end Harry loosened his grip on Louis, and he turned in his arms to face him. Louis let his hands rest on Harry's chest, his eyes searching his face.

He hadn't had time to really collect his thoughts as he'd intended, too wrapped up in the lyrics of the song he was yet to name. He'd wanted to run through scenario's in his head, come up with ways to broach the subject of what it was they were doing and what Harry's intentions were. But here he was, holding Louis in his arms as the warm spray of the shower cascaded over them. Louis' mind could focus on nothing but the way his skin ignited where Harry held him.

Neither of them chose to speak. Both remaining silent, intently studdying each other as if the answers to their questions would some how be written in the other's eyes. Harry moved his hands slowly down Louis' back to rest on his hips squeezing gently. Louis flinched at Harry's touch and Harry was quick to remove his hands, eyes wide and searching.

"Lou, what's wrong? Are you ok?" Harry asked quickly. His eyebrows were furrowed and each word he spoke was laced with worry. "Yeah love, I'm fine, I promise. I just have a few war wounds from yesterday. Lasting reminders of our alcohol fueld shenanigans if you will." Louis said, smiling up at Harry. He was trying to reassure him but all it had done was make Harry more confused.

"War wounds? Did you get hurt Lou? Why didn't you tell me?" Harry said, eyes sad and worried. Louis laughed then. Harry looked so worried that Louis had really hurt himself and he'd not known about it. Louis took pitty on Harry, the look on his face tugging at his heart but he wasn't sure Harry was going to like what he was about to hear or see.

"Well, I didn't tell you Harry because I only just noticed the "damage" myself. Plus, your the reason why I'm hurting," Louis finished with a soft smile and turned his neck to the side exposing a large, ugly, purple bruise.

Harry gasped and both hands flew to his face covering his mouth. His eyes were wide and he shook his head from side to side, droplets of water flying from his wet hair. Louis turned his head back to face Harry, he tried to smile, to assure Harry he was ok but it wasn't long before glistening, unshed tears clouded Harry's eyes.

Louis stood watching him. He'd usually make a smart remark or laugh it off with a joke but the look Harry was giving him told him now was not the time.

He was slowly learning that Harry was deeply emotional. Things affected him so easily and so quickly no matter the emotion. Louis had to let Harry comfort him. He could see the need raw and urgent written all over his face. The need to make amends for what he'd done.

But Louis needed to show Harry that despite the ugly, purple bruises and deep scratches marring his skin, he was happy, overwhelmingly so. That each bruise and scratch and twinge of pain was a constant, lasting reminder of what they'd done. That their bodies were made for each other in a way Louis had never experienced before and that he wouldn't change a minute of last night for the world.

Louis moved his hands from Harry's chest, and gently pried Harry's hands from his face. His lips wobbled as he fought to hold back his tears. Louis' stomach was in knots. He felt the pain Harry was feeling slamming into him. He wasn't sure what to do or what to say that would make Harry see that there was really no need to be sad.

Sure Louis had been shocked when he'd first seen his reflection. But the knowledge that Harry had left them on his skin made him giddy. It had been Harry's mouth and Harry's hands that had made them.

Louis pushed a stray strand of Harry's hair behind his ear as he held his face gently. Imploring Harry to understand that he was not upset or angry and neither should he be. It was then that Louis noticed it. Using a finger he gently turned Harry's head to the side.

There on Harry's neck, just below his ear in the same spot as Louis' was an equally purple bruise. Louis smiled in satisfaction triggering a confused look from Harry.

Louis brought Harry's head down, standing slightly on his tip toes so that he could reach Harry's ear. "It seems I'm not the only one with war wounds love," Louis whispered, pressing a kiss to the offending mark. "Now that we've established that everyone from here to kingdom come will know we had sex, will you smile for me baby? Please?" Louis said.

Harry returned his gaze to Louis, searching his eyes frantically to assure himself Louis wasn't upset or angry. After a few moments he relaxed, his features smoothing out into a soft, shy smile he reserved only for him.

"You're really not upset?" Harry asked. "No love, I'm really not. I've never been so happy in fact. I don't know what this is between us, but what I do know is, this," Louis said bringing Harry's hand up to touch his neck where the bruise lay, "And these," he said trailing Harry's hand down to his hips, his fingertips lightly skimming the small finger bruises, "And these," Louis said turning so Harry could see his back, "were worth every second. Worth every stare and every sideways glance and awkward question we'll no doubt be bombarded with once we leave this suite." Louis could feel Harry's fingers gently tracing over the marks on his back, his spine tingling as they moved. "It's worth all of that," he continued, "because they were made by you."

Harry sighed and rested his head on Louis' shoulder, bringing his arms around him to cradle him against his chest. "Do you really mean that Lou?" Harry asked. "Yes I mean it, every word," Louis replied. And he did. He'd meant every word he'd ever spoken to Harry. And he'd meant everything he'd used his body to say when words just didn't seem enough.

Suddenly Louis' insecurities came slamming back to the forefront of his mind. Harry was wonderful and he'd treated him so kindly, almost lovingly but Louis still had his doubts and the words tumbled out of his mouth around a strangled sob before he could stop them.

"Just promise me one thing," Louis said, the words barely audible above the constant stream of water they were still standing under. "Anything, anything for you," Harry replied kissing Louis' neck. "Please promise me, that if this is it, that if our time is up and that's all the time we were meant to have together, that you, that you won't ever, forget me."

.....

Harry froze at Louis' strangled words, his body shaking as he sobbed. The tears Harry had been fighting to contain were now freely spilling down his cheeks and his mouth felt dry.

How could he have made Louis feel so unsure of what they had? Of what he meant to him. Louis was slowly consuming Harry's every thought. Everything he'd done since he'd stumbled into him yesterday, he'd done with Louis in mind.

Louis' words had hit him like a freight train, his heart constricting painfully in his chest. Louis was his everything. His reason to smile when he thought he'd had none, his reason to be brave and to be strong. His reason to show the world who he really was wether they accepted that or not.

Harry knew it sounded silly, it sounded silly even to him, that a man he'd met a mere 24 hours ago could quickly mean so much to him. But he did and Harry knew what he was feeling was real. He just couldn't seem to make Louis see that.

Harry swallowed the lump in his throat and turned Louis around to face him. Although they were both dripping wet, Harry could see that tears were streaming down Louis' face. He was twisting his hands together nervously and had taken a sudden interest in the tiled floor.

"Look at me Lou, baby please look at me?" Harry said, his voice thick with emotion. Louis slowly lifted his head, his wet hair framing his beautiful face, his eyes still not quite meeting Harry's.

"Please listen to me, please hear what I'm about to say. It may not make sense and I'll probably ramble but I've never done this before or felt like this before so just hear me out yeah?" Harry said taking Louis twitching hands in his own, gripping them tightly.

They were still standing in the middle of the large double shower, water heating their naked bodies. They'd been in there far longer than either had anticipated but it seemed that the shower had created a safe bubble for them. One that they felt they could be open and honest in, words and emotions flowing out of them. It was almost as if this was a dream and as soon as they left the safety of the bathroom reality would come crashing down on them.

Harry took a steadying breath and continued, the words he hadn't realised he needed to say spilling out of him.

"I don't know where to being, or even how to put into words what I'm feeling. I'm young and I've not had many instances where I've felt this strongly about anyone or anything. This is all so new to me Lou, it scares me how intensely I feel for you. I know we only met yesterday, but it's been the best 24 hours of my entire life. I know, I know how can someone who has my life even say that but it has. Yes shows are exhilarating and thousands of adoring fans are humbling but they shadow in comparison to how you make me feel. You make me feel brave. You make my skin tingle and my body feel like it's on fire. You make it hard for me to breathe and my brain fuzzy. My body responds to you in ways I didn't even know it could. You are beautiful and sexy and sassy and you make me want to be a better person. You've shown me it's ok to be who I am. That I can be who I really, truly want to be without fear of what anyone else might think. You've made me realise that I don't have to be some closeted, media perceived womaniser because that's what management what me to be. You've made me realise that my fans are my fans for my talent and not who I'm fucking. And that even if I lose some fans because of that, then they weren't true fans at all. That they didn't accept me for me and not some idiotic, dreamt up version of myself. When I'm with you I feel strong. I'm a better version of myself when I'm with you Lou," Harry said, pausing as he studied Louis' face. He stood in stunned silence, listening to everything Harry had to say.

It hit Harry then why Louis had gone from being fierce and sexy last night to doubting everything they had in the blink of an eye. Harry thought back to their first conversation yesterday and remembered Louis had been responsible for "Hello" and the question was out of his mouth before he could stop himself.

"Who broke your heart baby?" Harry said softly, pulling Louis to his body and wrapping his arms tightly around him. Louis' body shook with fresh sobs and Harry gently ran his hand up and down Louis' spine, trying to comfort him.

Louis was silent, save for his sobs for a few moments before he spoke. "Ben, Ben broke my heart. He made me feel so pathetic and worthless that I've slowly lost myself over the last few years. I've gone from being the person you saw last night, to being so bitter and broken that I feel I can't trust anyone. Especially not in the way you need me to now," the words coming out pained and strangled.

Harry's heart felt as though it might break at Louis' words. How could anyone have ever treated Louis that way? To make him feel so worthless that he couldn't see what was right in front of him, that he felt he didn't deserve happiness or joy or love. It was gut wrenching and Harry needed to show Louis he wasn't Ben. That he'd never do that to him and he'd make damn sure no one ever did again.

"Show me your scars Lou, show me all the broken pieces of you. It's a part of who you are and I want to see them," Harry spoke against Louis' hair, his head now resting against Louis'. "Why? Why would you want to see the broken, scattered pieces of my soul Harry?" Louis replied his voice raw and pained. "Because," Harry said, "I want to see how many times you needed me and I wasn't there. Because I want you Lou, because you're all I've ever wanted or needed. Because I want to help you put all your broken pieces back together and because, you feel like home. "

In that moment Louis knew, Harry was it for him. He'd never need anyone else as long as he lived. He'd found it. After all these years of searching he'd found it. Or more so it had found him, it had stumbled right into him all long limbs, sparkling green eyes and chocolate curls. He'd found what his heart had always searched for and where his heart had always longed to be. And Harry was it. Now and forever irrevocably Harry would always be,

Home.

 


	10. Meet And Greets, Highway Meltdowns And I Love You's

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry returns to Melbourne. Louis has an impromptu meet and greet. Tears are shed and true feelings are revealed.

The days and weeks following the after party had been a PR nightmare. Thanks to Niall, his IPhone and a few too many tequila shots, the video of their body shots antics. That combined with a photo of them kissing out front of Lux and it was a virtual social media shit storm. 

When Harry and Louis had finally worked up the nerve to leave the safety of Harry's bathroom after christening every available surface, they'd powered up their dead phones and all hell had broken loose.

Both of their phones had rung out through the otherwise silent suite and had continued to do so for what felt like hours with missed calls, text messages, voice mails, twitter mentions and every other manner of notification Louis could think of.

Management had been too slow to stop Niall, the self proclaimed Captain of the Larry ship and within an hour of uploading the video Harry, Louis, Niall and the hash tags **#LarryStylinson** and **#HarryStylesBodyShots** had gone viral.

Harry hadn't batted an eyelid at all the attention they were getting, especially where the pair of them were concerened. He'd even retweeted the video himself, captioning it with "Get you a guy who can..." before management had quickly shut him down.

It hadn't gone unnoticed by his legion of followers though and so his retweet was still circulating twitter popping up every other day since.

Management had stooped so low in their quest to end it that they'd employed someone specifically to monitor social media and shut down anything they deemed "career suicide", mainly referring to anything that mentioned Larry or anything remotely related.

Their entire group had gained massive traction on Twitter and damn near every other social media outlet. Their selfies and videos and tweets gaining millions of likes, views and comments especially those taken at Lux.

This was mostly thanks to Harry's already established fan base and their "a friend of Harry's is a friend of ours" mentality, now spreading the love to Louis and the rest of the group.

It had been alot to take in at first. Louis had gone from being a nobody, a silent spectator in life to being thrust head first into the spotlight.  Every time he or Harry had left the safety of his suite they'd been bombarded by fans and paparazzi trying to catch a glimpse of them and in the end both of them had baracaded themselves in Harry's suite.

It wasn't that Louis necessarily hated the attention, he just wished he and Harry had, had more time alone before the whole world knew about them. Or thought they knew. If management had anything to do with it no one would ever know the truth. Harry however had other ideas.

Harry had apologised at every opportunity he could for a week. He'd showered Louis in kisses and gifts and breakfast in bed. Massages, foot rubs and mind blowing orgasm's. It had been sweet and thoughtful of Harry to apologise for throwing Louis head first into the lime light but Louis hadn't been an innocent bystander. There were memes, montages and hash tags that proved otherwise.

Louis had let this go on for a few days now but by the end of the third day he'd taken to simply throwing Harry's words back at him. "You said it yourself young Harold, if you like camera's flashing every time we go out, you jinxed us." Harry had been highly unamused by this, but had sighed and resigned himself to the fact that this was his life.

By the end of the week though all of Harry's grovelling and apologising, puppy dog eyes and pouty lips had become too much for Louis to handle. Harry hadn't needed to apologise to him in the first place despite his insistence. Harry was ridiculously cute when he sulked and pouted but his constant babble about ruining Louis' life was starting to drive him insane and he'd threatened to leak a naked picture of Harry if he didnt stop.

He'd known what he was getting into with Harry. This was his life and if Louis wanted to continue to he a part of it, it was something he'd have to get used to and fast. What he hadn't counted on though was Harry's management team stonewalling them at every opportunity.

Things between Louis and Harry had been going from strength to strength since theyd both laid their hearts out on the line in Harry's hotel bathroom. It was almost as though a weight had been lifted from Louis' shoulders. A reassurance that Harry felt just as strongly for Louis as he did for Harry.

As per Harry's request their "relationship" if you could call it that, didn't have a label. It had served a dual purpose to neither confirm or denying what was going on between them. The lack of official label only aiding that further.

It also kept management happy, ensuring that Harry's fans essentially became mushrooms and it also served to relieve pressure from Harry and Louis. They were just Harry and Louis, two men who felt strongly for each other, who hung out together and had wild sex wherever and whenever they wanted to.

It had been almost two months since Louis had last seen Harry. He'd had to leave the country a few weeks after his last show but he'd been forced to lay low until the heat from the Lux "incident" had clamed down.

His management had been insistent on Harry shutting down "this Larry conspiracy" deeming it a career ending fiasco. This had resulted in an hour long tirade from Harry. Louis had watched him stomp around the suite, agitatedly running his hand through his hair yelling into his phone.

It'd been hard to resist the urge to laugh at him, he was adorable even when he was angry, but it had been harder still not to bend him over the dining table and take him then and there. The look he'd gotten in his eyes as he paced angrily was fierce and primal and Louis couldn't get enough of it. He wanted Harry to look at him like that and his cock had twitched at the thought.

Harry had defended Louis at every opportunity. He'd lashed out at his team and at one point even threatened to give up music if it meant he and Louis couldn't be together. Louis had sat paralysed in the chair he'd been occupying as he watched Harry almost end his career. Louis hadn't been sure what had shocked him more. The silent promise of them being together or that Harry was prepared to end his career to ensure that.

Louis had snapped back to reality when Harry had growled "Try me" down the phone at the poor person on the other end and he had jumped up snatching the phone from Harry before he'd said something he'd regret.

In the end it had been Louis' call that Harry take a short hiatus. It had taken hours of back and forth, three pros and cons list's and Louis sucking Harry into oblivion before he'd finally agreed. Louis hated that Harry's management, or "The Evil M" as he liked to call them had forced their hand, but he wasn't about to let Harry throw away the one thing he loved most in this world for him.

It had been an extremely long two months and there had been only so many text messages and phone calls Louis had been able to live through before the need to be physically close to Harry had driven him around the bend.

His fans had realised that any mention of Harry and Louis being together or Larry were being shut down by management and they were having none of that. Thanks to their new President Niall, Larry Stylinson was still going as strong as ever. For every one tweet management had managed to thwart, ten new ones popped up and Louis honestly didn't know why management even bothered.

If spending two months in total radio silence wasn't enough to kill the hype Louis wasn't sure any more time would, so Harry, seeing no logical reason why he should continue to be MIA, had booked himself on the next flight out of London back to Melbourne. This had been conducted covertly courtesy of Tay and her super human stealth skills.

Louis genuinely felt sorry for Harry's poor assistant Tay. It was her job to feild Harry's calls, organise meetings and press conferences, book flights and hotels and be the general go between.

She took her position very seriously and in times like this, she'd even gone above and beyond the call of duty. Before Harry had returned to London she'd even started running menial errands for him so that he wouldn't have to be snuck out of the building. Conducting top secret Army manoeuvres was honestly simpler.

She was a beautiful sweet girl, around Harry and Louis' age. She had long sandy blonde hair and stunning eyes. She was kind and had a beautiful smile and never complained once about all of the ridiculous hours she'd been working recently or all of the extra responsibilities she'd had to take on.

Tay had fended off hundreds of requests for interviews with Harry, sorted through mountains of fan letters and packages that Louis had volunteered to help her with, run interference with Harry's irate management team and become Harry's personal errand girl.

After two consecutive weeks of late nights, early mornings and her damn near working non stop Louis had put his foot down. It was his fault really that they were in the position they were in even though Harry didn't agree. If he hadn't been quick to let his drunk hoe out no one would be any the wiser.

He'd sat Harry down at the end of a particularly rough day of meetings and pap walks and told him to give Tay a week off before she burnt out. The last time Louis had seen her she'd acquired dark circles under her eyes, the spark she normally had seemed dull, a can of energy drink was perpetually glued to her hand and Louis was convinced she hadnt slept more than a few hours a night since they'd landed in Australia.

Of course Harry had been quick to agree and in true Harry Styles fashion Tay was now on a week long, all expenses paid vacation. She'd sent Louis a selfie lying on a beach in Bora Bora, sipping on Mojito's topping up her tan. He'd sent her a selfie back  wearing a cute beanie and Harry's Lilac sweater snuggled up in front of his wood fire at home, telling her how jealous he was. Maybe one day that could be him and Harry. A small smile played on his lips as images of Harry, wet and covered in sand with a tan filled his mind.

.....

Louis was at Tullamarine Airport anxiously awaiting Harry's arrival. His back was aching now from sitting for hours and he was starting to feel too warm in the jacket and scarf  he'd adorned to try and disguise himself.

Harry's flight had been delayed by three hours in Singapore and Louis was regretting coming early to meet Harry at the gate. He wanted it to be a surprise for Harry and the look he knew would be on Harry's face when he saw him again was the only thing keeping Louis glued to the hard floor.

Louis had told Harry's security team that he'd wanted no special treatment, hoping that he'd go unnoticed if he appeared to be just another family member or friend waiting on an inbound flight, even though they had insisted he take security with him.

Louis had been a frequent flyer for a long time, either for his job or when he'd followed Ben all over the world to mind numbingly boring business conferences. The staff at the airport knew him by name and he knew every good coffee place and secluded hide away in the terminal.

He'd parked himself on an uncomfortable bit of floor next to a power point and was lazily sipping on a large flat white reading a new Larry fan fiction  he'd found online. It was Louis' current obsession and guilty pleasure. He loved how creative Harry's fans, or more to the point their fans were, but it did nothing to help his wayward thoughts. Some of them were downright pornographic but who was Louis to complain.

Louis hadn't been physically intimate with Harry since the night before he'd left for London and it had been like weaning himself off of heroin. He'd stumbled around his house in a daze, moping about in Harry's sweater and refusing to leave the house for the first week he was gone.

It wasn't only the sex that Louis craved or missed it was just being with Harry. He missed waking up next to Harry every morning with the soft light from a new day spreading over his skin. He missed the way Harry gazed fondly at him over a book or his tea when he thought Louis wasn't looking. He missed the way that Harry twisted his rings around his fingers when he was upset or agitated. He missed Harry's smell that was so uniquely him. He missed running his fingers through Harry's curls and watching as they bounced back. But most of all he missed the way Harry would sing for him whenever he asked him to, no matter where they were or what they were doing. It was all of these things, the little things, that Louis missed, that Louis craved.

Some people may call them unhealthy and co dependant but to Louis he needed Harry like he needed air to breathe. They hadn't gone longer than a few hours without a text message or a phone call to each other since the moment he'd left but it was hard to be intimate when they were at opposite ends of the world.

They'd tried to have phone sex one night about two weeks into Harry's forced hiatus. It had been incredibly awkward and Harry hadn't been able to keep a straight face. He had tried his hardest to be serious and sound "sexy" for Louis but instead he'd sounded like a bad Elvis impersonator. That had triggered a hysterical round of Elvis karaoke and they'd both lay laughing into their phones for the better part of an hour.

So in leiu of any actual intimacy between them Louis had been forced to get creative and Larry fan fiction  had seemed to work like a charm. Only last night he'd found himself lying in bed, jacking off to a particularly hot scene in which he and Harry had traded places and Louis had bottomed.

Louis was a top by nature. He liked the control it gave him and he loved the way that Harry looked splayed out and exposed beneath him but it had him wondering what Harry would be like if the roles were reversed. 

Louis could feel himself blushing, the thought giving him all kinds of wild ideas as he sat in the secluded corner of the arrivals lounge. He quickly locked his phone and tucked it into his jacket pocket. The last thing he needed was a hard on in the middle of a packed airport. The only way he was getting off in the nearest disabled toilet was if Harry was with him. He wasn't about to become that seedy guy in a trench coat jacking off in a stall.

Louis checked the board for what seemed like the millionth time, the board changing rapidly indicating flights landing and boarding, some delayed and some ready for check in. He couldn't see Harry's flight number on the board anywhere and just when he thought Harry's flight would never arrive a loud disembodied voice sounded out around him.

_**Good evening Ladies, Gentlemen and valued guests. Welcome to Tullamarine Airport. This is an important announcement for all Qantas passengers. Delayed Qantas Flight QF928 from Singapore has now landed at Gate 7 and will be disembarking shortly. Could all friends, family and guests please keep this area clear to allow passengers to disembark in a timely manner. Could all guests travelling on Qantas Flight QF642 to Hong Kong please prepare for boarding. Boarding will commence in approximately 20 mins. Please ensure you have your boarding passes ready to present to staff at the gate. Once again delayed Qantas Flight QF928 from Singapore has now landed at Gate 7 and Qantas Flight QF642 will be boarding shortly. We hope you enjoy your flight and thank you for choosing to fly Qantas.** _

As the voice had spoke Louis scrambled to his feet and walked quickly in the direction of Gate 7. It didn't take him long to figure out which gate he needed to be at, the group of screaming girls being held back by Airport Security was a dead give-away.

Louis watched with a fond smile on his face as the fans spoke excitedly to each other, breaking into song and snapping pictures. He snuck slowly up behind them, only the security guard noticing him, his eyes going wide as he realised who Louis was.

Louis held a finger up to his lips signalling to the security guard not to give him away. He simply nodded and smirked. Louis liked this man. Louis loved to be mischievous and who better to be victims of his first impromptu meet and greet than a group of adoring fans.

Louis hoped they'd be equally as excited by meeting him as they clearly were to meet Harry. He hoped this wouldn't be a total flop but if it was it would still serve to distract them enough to let Harry exit the plane without being mobbed.

He knew Harry would be tired and keen to get back to Louis' and hide himself away again. Long haul flights were draining and Louis knew that Harry would be exhausted but unable to deny his fans. He'd smile sweetly and take pictures and sign autographs even though it would be the last thing he'd really want to do.

As the first few passengers materialised at the gate Louis quickly shrugged off his scarf and coat now dressed only in his skinny jeans and a grey, knitted sweater of Harry's. It was far too big on him. It hung loosely on Harry and so it swamped Louis. The sleeves hung down over his fingers and the neckline dipped low to reveal his collar bones.

He'd worn it knowing that it was Harry's favourite on him and because he knew Harry secretly had a kink for his collar bones. He hadn't however, anticipated a sneak attack on poor unsuspecting fans who would know instantly that the sweater he wore was Harry's.

Oh well, Louis thought, atleast it would give management something to do. He hated Harry's management more than he'd ever hated anything in his life and in that moment Louis was determined to make it his life's mission to be as loud as possible when it came to him and Harry, if only for the purpose of stirring up Harry's management.

Louis waited until he could see Harry making his way towards the gate before he threw his arms around the shoulders of the two girls in front of him and started hysterically screaming along with them.

It shocked the girls enough that both of them spun around to see who was behind them. Louis watched as the colour drained from their faces, their eyes growing wide as realisation dawned on them. And then, before Louis could prepare himself they screamed.

Louis smiled at them, trying to suppress a laugh not wanting to make them feel any more embarrassed than they no doubt already were. He wasn't exactly sure how this sort of thing was supposed to go, but seeing as he wasn't being hawk-eyed by security or management he just went with it.

The girl on Louis' left found her voice first and spoke shakily as more of the group turned to see what all the fuss was about. It was working and Louis coughed catching the attention of the security guard. He nodded his head slightly in the direction of Harry and he smiled when the man had caught on to what Louis was trying to do.

"Oh my God, oh my God, I'm dreaming, this can't be real," the girl said, tears forming in her eyes. "No love, you're not dreaming I can assure you," Louis said with a soft smile. "You're Louis Tomlinson!" she said loudly at that, the attention of everyone in earshot now on him. "In the flesh," Louis replied giving her his best grin and a wink.

That heralded ear splitting screams and before Louis knew what was happening phones, cameras, note pads and every manner of singable object was being thrust at him. The group was small, maybe ten or so excited girls and Louis took time to speak with each of them, snapping a selfie, hugging them tightly and signing his autograph, complete with an "x" eyed smiley face he hadn't used since highschool. 

He'd kept his eye on the security guard and Harry as he'd kept the group occupied. He watched as Harry was guided effortlessly away from the Gate towards the exit, a confused expression on his face clearly shocked at not being mobbed. When he was sure that Harry had made it a safe enough distance away from them he hurriedly said his goodbyes, grabbing his coat and scarf and walked swiftly in the direction Harry had gone.

Harry was finally here, after all those long weeks of being apart they would finally be together and as thoughts and images of what lay ahead materialised in Louis mind, he took off at run unable to contain himself.

.....

Harry was exhausted. He stumbled wearily from the plane trying to keep his eyes from closing as he walked towards the gate. He knew there'd be a group of screaming fans waiting for him, there always was and as the terminal beyond came into view the screaming began.

Harry sighed heavily. He loved his fans and he loved that they were so dedicated to him, but after spending 36hrs on a plane and too many hours cooped up in a small room at Singapore Changi Airport avoiding fans there, all he really wanted was to sleep nestled securely in Louis' strong arms.

A security guard hurried to meet him as he entered the main part of the terminal. "Good evening Mr Styles, my name is Rick. Im here to escort you through the terminal," he said. Harry held his hand out to Rick, shaking his hand. "It's nice to meet you Rick and please, call me Harry," he replied.

Rick smiled back at Harry before turning around and walking swiftly away from the gate. Harry followed along behind him keeping pace. Aside from getting home to Louis as soon as he could all he could think about was the distinct lack of screaming fans. He was relieved to have a break from them if he was honest but it was quite strange to not even have one fan clamouring to get his attention.

He'd made it almost to the escalators that lead down to the main exit of the terminal, walking along in a sleepy daze when someone grabbed hold of his arm, dragging him behind a pillar.

Harry panicked, his heart rate increasing, sweat quickly forming on his brow. He was pushed backwards against the pillar, his back slamming into it but before he could yell for help sapphire eyes and an eye crinkling smile appeared.

Harry slumped against the pillar then, a dimple filled grin spreading across his weary face. "Lou..." he breathed, the word leaving his mouth on the breath he'd been holding. Louis grinned back at him, grabbing two fist fulls of his hoodie. Harry bent his head as their bodies pressed together and he brought his lips down reverently to Louis'.

The kiss started off small and lazy, both taking the time to savour the other. Harry had dreamt of nothing but Louis' lips and hands on his body for the last eight weeks. For eight weeks he'd felt empty and hollow, as if he was missing half of himself. But now, as Louis kissed him, the passion building, Harry once again felt whole.

Their tongues touched and caressed as Harry's fingers brushed lazily down Louis' spine. He felt him shiver at the touch and if it was possible Louis pressed himself closer to Harry as if he was afraid if he let him go Harry would be gone again.

They'd been lost in their own world for a moment, forgetting where they were when a group of excited voices brought them crashing back to the now. Louis pulled away first, his finger coming to rest on Harry's lips. They stayed flush against the pillar out of sight of the main walkway and listened as the group passed them.

"I can't believe we met Louis freaking Tomlinson!" one girl said. "He's such a sneak, I can't believe we fell for that! He totally distracted us so that Harry could sneak past us." another voice added. "And did you see the grey sweater Louis was wearing? I'd bet my meet and greet tickets it's Harry's," a third voice added. Harry lifted his eyebrow questioningly at Louis, who shrugged his shoulder with a smirk. What had Louis done now?

The voices drifted away growing quieter. Harry knew that he'd never get a straight answer out of Louis so he consulted the one place he knew wouldn't let him down, Twitter. Harry pulled his phone from his pocket switching it from flight mode. Louis stood with his arms crossed over his chest still smirking.

Harry loaded up his Twitter app and within seconds he knew what Louis had done. He shook his head and laughed as Tweet after Tweet appeared on his timeline of Louis' smiling face, arms slung around the shoulders of teary eyed fans.

"Care to explain love?" Harry said, pocketing his phone and pulling Louis back against his body. "Nothing to explain really. I just happened to be in the area and decided to grab a coffee from my favourite coffee shop, which may or may not be located inside the airport. It wasn't until I was here that I remembered some hot shot singer was arriving today. Bloody inconvenience if you ask me. Traffic was a nightmare," Louis began. Harry couldn't keep a straight face at Louis' dramatic retelling of how they'd ended up snuggled up against a pillar.

"Anyway once I was here I noticed that group of girls. They were all losing it over some Harry Styles guy, I mean what kind of name is that anyway? Sounds like some seedy 70s porn star if you ask me, so I strolled right on up to them and showed them what a real superstar looks like. That poor Styles bloke never got a look in," he finished.

Harry laughed then, hugging Louis tightly and pressing a kiss to the top of his head. "God I've missed you Lou," he breathed heavily. And he had. He'd missed Louis' sass and theatrics. He'd missed his sapphire eyes and crinkled smile. He'd missed the way his hips curved and his skin tasted. But most of all he'd missed the way he felt when he was with him.

"I've missed you too love," Louis replied, speaking into Harry's chest. They stayed wrapped up in each other's arms for a few more minutes before Louis was dragging him off towards his car and the long drive home.

....

Harry had always loved coming to Australia ever since he'd first toured here. As a young kid he'd been sure he'd never end up here, Australia always seeming to be some far off distant land, too far away for the average person to visit.

He was excited about spending time here with Louis. He would finally have an opportunity to explore the city and the town Louis lived in and see it all through Louis' eyes. He'd actually have the opportunity to really see Melbourne and not just the walls of a pretty hotel room.

He knew that it would be impossible to avoid the paparazzi and fans entirely but he hoped that with some help from Niall he'd be able to keep it to a minimum. If anyone was able to get it across to his fans that Harry needed some personal time it would be him.

It also helped that Harry and now Louis' fans wanted nothing more than to see the pair happy. So he hoped that if he made it clear that some time alone with Louis was what he needed and that it made him happy that his fans would respect that.

Harry stared out the window of Louis' sporty, red Range Rover, taking in the sight of Melbourne at night as it whizzed past them. The Port of Melbourne, tall sky scrapers and the Melbourne Star were all twinkling brightly against the inky black sky. There was a beauty and wonder in Melbourne that Harry had never been able to describe.

It was historic yet modern. It was tranquil and peaceful yet also bustling with vibrant life. There was always a story or a mystery to be found around every corner and down every alley way. It was never the same twice and it was almost as if the city lived and breathed, always changing just as the people who called it home did.

Harry knew his mouth was agape, his eyes sparkling with excitement like he was seeing it all for the very first time. His heart swelled as he took it all in, a feeling of calm washing over him. It almost felt like when he walked through the door of his mums house after not seeing her for months at a time. It was the feeling of being home.

Harry smiled to himself, turning to face Louis and placing a hand on his thigh. Louis looked at him from the corner of his eye with a fond expression, smiling back at him as if he was feeling exactly as Harry was. Harry had never been this happy and content in his life.

Being here with Louis, sitting in comfortable silence as the world flew past them was all that Harry really needed. Louis was all that Harry needed. Harry pressed the button on his door panel as Louis continued to whisk them towards their destination. The window slowly descended into the door and  cool air whipped his hair around him, strands of it flying in every direction covering his eyes and some even ending up in his mouth.

Louis laughed at his childishness, placing his hand over Harry's where it lay on his thigh, gently squeezing it it. Harry's skin tingled at the touch. His mind wandered to the day they'd spent holed up in his bathroom, declaring their intentions to each other and savouring each other's bodies.

Harry remembered Louis' body, glistening with water from the shower as it had cascaded over him, his tan skin marked by their worship of each other the night before.

Harry smiled at the memories. Memories that belonged to him and Louis. Memories they'd made together. The kind Harry loved most. It was then he remembered the surprise he'd brought for Louis and he quickly rummaged noisily in his bag.

Louis watched with a confused expression before he spoke. "Have you lost something love?" he asked as Harry continued his rummaging. "Nope, I know it's in here somewhere," Harry replied vaguely. "What is it that your looking for exactly?" Louis asked amusedly, a soft smile playing on his lips. "Your surprise," Harry replied. Louis looked shocked as Harry watched him out of the corner of his eye. Harry smirked at him, knowing that he hated surprises but before he could protest he held up a slim CD case between his pointer and middle fingers, smiling idiotically at Louis.

"What's that?" Louis asked, clear confusion on his face. "It's a demo I made of a song while I was in London. It's not complete yet, the vocals aren't perfect, but I wanted to see what you thought. Roll the windows down will ya? It'll be worth it I promise," Harry said, popping the CD in the player and turning up the volume as he spoke.

Louis looked confused but did as Harry asked before the opening lines of the song began. Harry's voice flowed through the speakers, wrapping them both in its warm timbre. Harry watched as Louis' eyes went wide, his mouth gaping open his eyes snapping to meet his every few seconds as he fought to pay attention to the road.

Harry couldn't help the smile that spread across his face. The wind was still blowing his hair wildly and he joined in with full gusto attracting suspicious looks from passengers in the other cars around them.

Louis laughed then, a loud, unfiltered pure sound that made Harry laugh too. By the second verse Louis had joined in along with Harry, disbelief still evident on his face although the light in his eyes betrayed his pride and thanks at what Harry had done.

Soon they were at Harry's favourite part of the song. He hoped Louis approved as he hadn't actually consulted with him on any of this. It'd been implied that day in Harry's hotel room but Louis had been, preoccupied, with other things and they'd not ever mentioned it again.

The music quietened and the beat dropped and Harry quickly shushed Louis, the only sound the rumbling of the car and Harry's voice, smooth and seductive. He'd let his mind wander to those few hours spent together in the hotel when he'd recorded the track. More specifically at this part.

He'd remembered how Louis' voice had sounded. How it had caressed his skin and ignited his soul. How his body had felt pressed up against his, slick from the water falling down on them. How they'd pleasured each other's bodies, kissing and sucking and caressing. With fumbling hands and trembling lips. He'd poured all that emotion into the lyrics and he hoped Louis could hear it.

_**And if you like camera's flashing every time we go out,** _   
_**Oh yeah,** _   
_**And if your looking for someone to write your breakup songs about,** _   
_**Baby I'm perfect,** _   
_**Baby we're perfect...** _

Louis was stunned into silence as the song ended. Harry reached over to stop the player, rolling up the windows as he did so. Louis didn't say anything. He just looked ahead, both hands gripped tightly on the wheel, knuckles white.

Harry panicked as he watched him. He couldn't tell what he was thinking and his face was betraying no emotion. This continued for a few minutes before Harry couldn't take it any longer. "Lou, baby, say something. Please say something," Harry whispered gently. He searched Louis' face as he spoke.

Louis simply swallowed hard, shaking his head gently from side to side not speaking a single word. Harry's stomach felt as though it had dropped through his seat, he felt sick. "You hate it don't you? It's your song Lou I shouldn't have done that without asking you first, I'm sorry Lou. I really am. I understand if you are angry at me. You have every right to be," Harry said in a small voice.

He turned his head then to gaze back out of the window at the darkened scenery around them. They'd left the main suburbs of the city a while ago now and it was darker here, the night seeming more peaceful. Louis still hadn't spoken a word and Harry's heart hurt. He'd been so sure that Louis would love it that his reaction had taken him aback.

As Harry lost himself in thought, his mind racing with all the possible reasons why Louis didn't like the song and the multitudes of things he would do to make it up to him, he was interrupted by a strangled whine.

He snapped his head back to face Louis. Tears were streaming freely down his cheeks now in a steady flow.  His hands were trembling as they gripped the wheel and his lip was quivering. "Lou, baby what's wrong? Please tell me what's wrong so I can fix it. I promise I'll fix it," Harry hurried to say. At Harry's words a strangled, heart wrenching sob escaped Louis and he began freely sobbing.

The car began to shake and wobble on the road as Louis' tears began to obscure his vision. Harry's heart was in his mouth, it was becoming harder to breath and he couldn't decide which was the most pressing issue, Louis being so upset or the fact that he was swerving all over the road.

Harry gently placed a hand on Louis thigh, stroking slow, lazy circles with his thumb. "Lou, listen to me. You need to pull over love. You can't drive like this. You need to pull over, take a breather and tell me what's wrong ok?" Harry said as softly as he could manage. Louis nodded and at the next available safe spot he pulled the car over and switched off the engine.

.....

Louis pulled the car over onto the shoulder of the road next to an emergency phone. The car slowed to a stop and he turned it off. Slumping forward in his seat he rested his head against the steering wheel and let himself cry.

He could feel Harry's hand rubbing gently up and down his spine. He was trying to comfort him, even though he probably thought it was his fault Louis was crying to begin with.

Louis took a few deep breaths, trying to calm himself enough to look at Harry. The truth was it was Harry's fault he was sobbing hysterically into his steering wheel. But not because Harry had done anything wrong. Not because Harry had over stepped or because he hated the song. It was because in those three and a half minutes, all Louis had felt was love.

He'd never been so sure of anything in his entire life. He could hear it in Harry's voice. He could feel it in the beat of the music. It was there plain as day in the way Harry smiled. It was reflected back at him from the depths of Harry's stunning green eyes. Even now as Harry tried to comfort him, not even knowing the reason why, he felt loved.

Other than for his family Louis had never experienced this level of emotion for anyone. It was all consuming. It affected the way he walked, taller and with more purpose. They way he spoke and the way he acted, more confident and sure of himself. It was in the way he smiled at Harry's quirks, his love of bananas and his pink toothbrush. It was there in the way his breath hitched when Harry's dimples popped or in the small, shy smile Harry smiled only for him.

It was there when he looked out over the ocean and wondered what Harry was seeing when they were apart. It was there when he wanted Harry to be the first person he saw in the morning and the last person he seen at night before he fell asleep.

It was there in the clothes he wore, knowing that Harry would like anything he chose but he chose outfits he knew were his favourite. And it was there, in a song Harry had inspired. In the song that they'd sung together. That had played over and over again in their minds as they'd worshipped each other.

And Louis was petrified of it. Petrified of this all consuming feeling. Petrified that Harry already owned his heart after such a short amount of time. Petrified that if he voiced his true feelings to Harry, if he let his guard down, that he'd run from him.

And so, he sat sobbing in his car on the side of the highway unable to move or speak, crushed by the weight of the feelings he harboured for this beautiful, thoughtful, angelic man next to him.

Louis didn't know how long he sat there, head pressed into the steering wheel, sobs wracking his body. It wasn't until he heard Harry's door opening that he snapped his head up. Harry was climbing out of the car.

Louis watched as he walked around the bonnet of the car, his tall figure illuminated in the headlights of the oncoming traffic. Harry swung his door open when he reached it, reaching over Louis to unbuckle his seatbelt before lifting him out of the car and wrapping him up in his arms.

Louis melted into Harry's body, surrendering himself to the man before him. In Harry's arms he felt safe. He knew that so long as he was in them he would be safe and that no harm could come to him. Even here on the side of a dark highway with cars whipping past them.

Louis buried his nose into the crook of Harry's neck, inhaling the scent that was so uniquely Harry. It was faintly masculine thanks to the cologne he wore but also just Harry. It was a mixture of things that added up to a scent that was Harry that Louis wished he could bottle just for him.

Harry kissed his temple as they stood their in each other's arms, moving his mouth just above Louis' ear so that he could hear him above the cars and trucks that flew by them.

"Baby, please tell me what's wrong? My heart is hurting. Please tell me," he said placing a kiss to Louis' stubbly cheek. Louis gripped him tighter as he spoke. He needed to tell Harry how he was feeling. He needed to let him know that he was terrified of how he felt. But most of all he needed Harry to tell him that it was ok, that he felt the same but standing on the side of the road was neither the time nor the place, so instead he said "It's perfect. The song, the arrangement, your voice, its perfect."

He lifted his head from Harry's chest, looking into his eyes as he spoke. He watched as the worry and the hurt slowly dissolved, leaving in its place that look Louis knew well. It was love that he saw there.

Harry's lips met his then, his mouth moving slowly and gently over Louis'. He could feel the relief and the joy that Harry felt in his kiss and he reciprocated hoping Harry knew how thankful and appreciative and humbled he was.

Soon the kiss was over. It was enough to reassure Harry that Louis wasn't upset with him and enough to reassure Louis that he wasn't imagining the way he felt about Harry.

Could they ever be enough for each other? Maybe, just maybe they could be enough. Only time would tell. "Let's go home," Louis found himself saying. The word was out of his mouth before he could stop it. But Harry smiled that special smile he loved and they both retreated back into the car and headed off into the night.

.....

Louis fumbled with the lock, his brain fuzzy as Harry pressed his hard length into him, trailing kisses down the side of his neck. He shuddered as Harry's lips made their way leisurely down his neck, his breath tingling his skin.

Louis forced himself to concentrate on the door and the key and the lock and not his aching, throbbing cock or the way Harry's hands were wrapped tightly around his waist.

After a few more fumbled attempts the door swung open, both of them stumbling into the house in a flurry of limbs. Harry bent his head, his soft pink lips meeting Louis', the need and desire they both felt flowing between them.

Eight weeks they'd been apart. Eight weeks they'd gone without a single kiss or a single touch and now that they were finally in Louis' house, the ferocity of how much they needed to feel each other, to caress each other and devour each other had been unleashed.

Harry was relentless. His tongue was invading Louis' mouth, stroking and teasing every inch of it. Louis melded himself to Harry's body. Their chests and hips flush against each other. Harry's hands found their way to cup Louis' ass, digging his fingers into the soft flesh through his tight jeans.

A low moan escaped Louis, his mind a flurry of thoughts and emotions. He couldn't settle on anything, Harry becoming an overwhelming wave of sensations. Louis felt his feet leave the floor to dangle at Harry's lower back as he lifted him from the floor. His back now pressed firmly against the hard, smooth wall.

Louis had never seen Harry like this. The look in his eyes was carnal, primal, smouldering. His gaze was intense and unwavering and burned every fibre of Louis that it touched. It scorched a path through the walls he'd built up around his heart, leaving him open, exposed and defenseless.

Louis needed this. He needed to feel wanted, to feel worshipped, to feel adored. He needed to know that when it came to him Harry had no control. That he was a slave to his emotions and his body just like Louis was.

Louis needed the validation if he was being honest. To Louis this whole thing with Harry simply felt like an illusion. That if he stopped and analysed it enough, or looked at it from a slightly different angle it would simply disappear.

Pressing his body as tightly to Louis' as he could Harry moved his hands from their place under Louis' ass. Louis was being held up against the wall by Harry's muscular body, his now free hands roaming up his legs and under his sweater, having gone dropped his carry on bag by the door as they'd entered. 

Louis shuddered against him, his breath hitching as Harry's fingers trekked lazily up under the sweater. Harry's mouth never left his, gasps and moans escaping their lips as they kissed each other hungrily.

Harry played with his nipples, goosebumps spreading out over his skin as he teased them into hard peaks. Louis was pinned, trapped beneath Harry against the wall and there was no room for movement. His body was trying to escape Harry's touch, the brush of his fingertips burning into Louis like a branding iron.

Louis brought his hands down to the hem of Harry's hoodie and t shirt. He grabbed it roughly and yanked it over his head. Harry didn't complain, he simply let Louis free him of his clothes.

Louis bit his bottom lip between his teeth as his eyes roamed over Harry's body. He was truly a stunning sight to see. From his current position Louis could see every muscle working tirelessly under Harry's skin as he worked to keep Louis held against the wall. The way his chest rose and fell as he scrambled to bring air into his lungs. They way his tattoos glistened with sweat. It was hypnotising and Louis would never tire of looking at him.

Soon Louis' sweater and jacket had joined Harry's hoodie and t-shirt in a crumpled heap on the floor. The coolness of the wall a stark contrast to heat radiating from within Louis. A heat and a fire that Harry stoked with every breath, every kiss, every touch. A heat that consumed Louis with such intensity that he could feel it spilling out of him, cocooning them.

Harry's mouth began skimming over Louis' collar bones, nipping and sucking and kissing them. Louis meweled beneath him, using his feet to anchor himself to Harry, no longer able to help Harry hold himself up.

Harry's mouth moved leisurely across Louis' skin, desperate but in no really hurry. His lips continued up Louis' neck towards his ear, taking his earlobe in his mouth Louis gripped Harry's back, his fingers digging into Harry's smooth skin.

Harry growled, a low rumbling sound as Louis fingers furrowed their way south across the planes of Harry's back. His head was thrown back, his hair spilling around him, exposing his neck to Louis.

Louis wasted no time in kissing harry from the hollow at the base of his neck, up to his ear, a hand coming around the back of his neck to pull him closer.

"Growl for me baby," Louis whispered seductively into Harry's ear. Harry gasped at Louis' brazen words but crashed their lips together, another louder, more sinful growl escaping him.

Louis pulled away, looking deep into Harry's eyes. The green of his iris' were now almost completely hidden by the vast darkness of his pupils. Louis could barely breathe, the magnitude of the lust and hunger he saw in Harry's eyes suffocating him.

It was in that moment Louis made a decision he'd never thought he'd make. A decision that could potentially end in disaster, but one that he trusted Harry would see him through.

Panting, sweaty and slightly delirious they had both stopped, staring deep into each other's eyes. Harry was first to break eye contact, gently pressing a brief kiss to Louis swollen, red lips as if he knew Louis had something to say.

"A penny for your thoughts?" Harry whispered. His voice sounded much louder than it should have given he was whispering. The hallway was illuminated only by the soft moonlight bouncing back into the house from the ocean beyond the house. The lights forgotten in their haste.

Louis almost preferred it that way. Being in relative darkness gave him courage to just be. To just live in the moment, unafraid of any judgement that normally was passed in the light of day.

"I'm not sure why I'm even asking this, and you can tell me to fuck off if you want to, but have you ever topped Haz?" Louis breathed, looking back into Harry's eyes, gauging his reaction.

Harry bit his lip, looking down between them at his words, a small bashful smile creeping onto his face.  "Um, yeah, yeah I have. I've done it maybe once or twice. But it's not usually my style. Why do you ask?" he said.

"Because I want you inside of me Harry. I want to feel you filling me and stretching me and loving me from the inside out. I want to lose myself in the feeling of you. I want to lay all my trust in you and let you take control. To just let go and let you take the wheel for once. I'm tired Harry, I just need to feel..... "

Louis cut off quickly. He'd said too much he knew he had. He'd almost let slip what it was that he truly honestly needed from Harry and he wasn't sure either of them were ready for that just yet.

But it was too late. "To feel what?" Harry asked, gently holding Louis' face between his hands. "What is it that you need to feel?". Louis couldn't tear his eyes away from Harry's. He could feel his gaze sweeping over every vestige of his soul, silently searching for the answer knowing Louis didn't want to have to voice it aloud.

Louis grabbed Harry into a passionate kiss. This was it, he was about to let words escape him that could make or break them. If this was the last time he'd see him, hear him, feel him, touch him he wanted one last kiss. One lasting reminder of the greatest man who'd ever lived. The only man he'd ever truly, wholeheartedly loved.

"Please tell me baby," Harry said one more time before Louis took a deep steadying breath. Looking directly into Harry's eyes he said, "I just need to feel...  to feel loved."

.....

Harrys heart felt as though it was breaking. Louis' words were filled with such sadness that a lone tear streaked down his cheek.

Louis' eyes shimmered back at him, unshed tears being held at bay by his long beautiful lashes. Harry pressed a kiss to Louis' lips. It was firm but not harsh and he hoped Louis could feel how much he loved him.

Harry had loved Louis from that first night they'd kissed in his dressing room. Nobody should love someone they've only just met and maybe it had been infatuation at first, but the more time they'd spent together and the more time they'd been forced apart, Harry had realised that this feeling inside of him was love.

But Harry wasn't sure Louis was really ready to hear those three words from him yet. They'd been perched on the tip of his tongue, ready to take wing since they'd spent their first night together. But Harry had held them back, hoping that when the time was right he'd know when to say them.

Harry knew Louis' heart had been broken before. By a man who he thought had loved him. And Harry knew that Louis needed him to show him that his feelings were mutual. That Louis was not alone in how he felt.

Harry wished he'd known Louis before Ben had broken him. Before he'd lost his spark and his confidence in himself had hit rock bottom. Before he'd needed someone else to validate his existence or his relationships.

But he needed this. Harry needed to show him and tell him how truly incredible he was. Harry had to take the reigns and help Louis get back to that strong, sassy, confident man he knew he was.

Harry searched Louis' eyes. They were pleading with him, pleading with him to take control so that for once he didn't have to. So that just for once Louis could let go and just feel.

"Tell me what you want baby," Harry said, kissing a line up the side of Louis neck, deliberately not mentioning Louis' last comment. "You Harry, I just want you," Louis breathed, his eyes closing, surrendering himself over to Harry.

It shouldn't have ignited a scorching light inside of Harry, it shouldn't have made his cock hard and his mouth dry but Louis' words were the hottest thing he'd ever heard. The fact that Louis trusted him enough to do this was driving him crazy and in an instant they were once more a tangled ball of lips and limbs.

Harry lifted Louis once more into his arms supporting him under his tight ass as he moved them both through the dark house. He was trying to remember the layout of Louis' house but in the dark it looked different and being here in person was alot different from being on FaceTime.

Harry tried to carry Louis up the three flights of stairs to his bedroom but gave up after two and shuffled them both into the living area on the second floor.

It didn't help that their kisses and touches were now frantic and Louis was making it abundantly clear he needed Harry and he needed him now. He was grinding himself against Harry, making him stumble and slam up against the railing of the stairs case as he went. He was sure to be bruised tomorrow but it would be worth it.

"Lights," he breathed against Louis' mouth as he strode towards the large kitchen island. "On the wall, next to the entry," Louis panted as Harry swiped a stack of papers, charger cables and other odd objects onto the floor, depositing Louis down on top of the island.

He hurried to where Louis had indicated the light switches were and flipped the switches until only the pendant lights above them shone brightly.

They illuminated Louis' skin, casting shadows over the hollows of his throat and the muscles of his chest and back. Harry's mouth watered at the sight of him, leant back lazily supporting his weight on his hands.

Harry stalked to wards him, grabbing his face between his hands and kissed him roughly when he reached him. Louis brought one hand up around Harry's neck, holding him firmly to him.

Harry fiddled with the button on  Louis' tight skinny jeans as they kissed, gasps and whimpers escaping Louis as he worked to free him. Harry shoved his hand down the front of Louis' tight boxers, taking his hard length in his hand, pulling it free of its constraints.

Louis let his head fall back, his throat now exposed to Harry. Still thumbing and stroking at his cock Harry used his other hand to slide Louis towards him so that he was barely sitting atop the island. His mouth found its way to his bellybutton, working it's way up the middle of Louis' chest, teasing his nipples with his tongue and his teeth before leaving his mark on Louis' neck.

It had kind of become their thing, to visibly mark each other whenever they'd had sex and sometimes even just when heavy petting had become a little too heavy. They always ended up in the same spot on their bodies and Harry  loved the idea of everyone knowing how it had gotten there and who it was from. Louis was his and he didn't care who knew it.

......

Louis cried out as Harry's mouth claimed his neck, his long fingers wrapped tightly around his cock. It felt amazing, chasing every other thought from his mind. His hand felt soft but cool against his overheated skin and his breath was coming in sharp, uneven gasps.

He'd needed to be close to Harry for what felt like forever and now that he finally was the feeling was overwhelming. Harry's scent and heat and touch engulfed him and he surrendered himself to wave after wave of blistering sensation as Harry's hands and mouth claimed what was theirs.

Now supporting his weight on his elbows and forearms, he leaned back against the cool marble top of the island. Sweat was beading on his brow as Harry's tongue worked it's way down the middle of his chest, stopping briefly to tease at his bellybutton before continuing its slow, lazy trek south.

Louis could feel Harry's warm breath against his cock as his lips brushed gently against his leaking tip. Soon after Harry's mouth was wrapped around his cock, the soft warmth of his slick mouth surrounding him. "Oh fuck Harry," Louis breathed, his eyes watching the top of Harry's head as it bobbed up and down his length.

Harry was sucking him like his life depended on it, hard and fast inching him closer and closer to his release with every flick of his tongue before pulling back and kissing his shaft and balls with unhurried laziness.

Louis was a mess, his hand finding it's way into Harry's chocolate curls, gripping tightly. Harry's moans filled the large expanse with each tug to his hair, the sound reverberating through Louis, Harry's mouth still surrounding him.

As Harry continued his slow torture his hands came up to grip at the waist band of Louis jeans. His mouth popped off of his cock noisily, a trail of spit connecting his mouth to where it had been on Louis cock, his eyes boring into Louis' with a predatory ferocity that almost made Louis come on the spot.

Soon Louis was shed of his jeans and boxers, sitting completely naked, exposed for Harry's eyes only. Harry's penetrating green gaze roamed over Louis' body, a silent hunger evident in their depths. A shiver ran down Louis spine as Harry ravaged him with his eyes, goosebumps appearing over his sensitive flesh.

Their lips crashed together as Harry stood between Louis spread legs, his hands roaming over his thighs gripping Louis at the backs of his knees. Soon his legs were spread as wide as they would allow, Harry pushing him backwards as they kissed so that Louis was now lying flat on top of the island, his feet now up on the edge holding him in place.

Louis could feel a blush explode over his cheeks. He felt exposed and more so than just being naked. Exposed in a way that he felt as though Harry could see right into the depths of his soul. As though Harry could tell what he was thinking and feeling, as if it was all laid bare to him.

And yet Harry was still here. He could see the best and the worst parts of Louis, nothing of limits to him and he still chose to be here in this moment with him. He was choosing to take charge and let Louis breathe for what felt like the first time in a long time. Harry anchored him to the world and yet he felt as free as a bird. As though he'd been chained to a lifeless existence until a beautiful, curly haired boy with stunning green eyes had stumbled quite literally into his life.

He loved this boy. This charming, beautiful, wonderful, sensitive, caring, loving boy with every fibre of his being. And as the realisation dawned on him, that this overpowering feeling swirling inside of him was love, pure and magical, he let out a cry and let Harry love him in the best way he knew how.

....

Harry's hands were roaming over Louis damp skin, mingling with the cum that had erupted from Louis as he screamed Harry's name, his orgasm rocking him until he was left gasping and shaking on the island.

"I've always wanted to make you come for me like that," Harry rasped into Louis' ear, Louis twitching beneath him as Harry's hard cock brushed against his as he leant over him.

"Get your fucking cock inside of me now," Louis moaned, his head lolling to one side as he spoke. "I'll decide when I put my cock inside that lovely, tight ass of yours," Harry growled back, kissing Louis with a harshness that Louis welcomed.

Harry was surprised at how Louis could invoke this wild, dominant side of him. And yet Louis could be the same, Harry soft and pliant beneath him, giving himself over to Louis. Harry hadn't seen Louis like this before and he marvelled at how responsive Louis' body had been to him.

Louis had welcomed Harry's spit soaked fingers, teasing in and out of him fast and slow, rubbing gently at his prostate. He'd licked and sucked at Louis' pretty, puckered hole, fingering him without mercy until Louis had come loudly, writhing and shaking as the orgasm had consumed him. The only thing stopping him from falling to the cold, hard floor had been Harry's shoulders, resting up against Louis' ass as he'd eaten it greedily.

Harry felt dirty but incredibly aroused by what he'd just done. He'd loved making Louis come apart with just his fingers and tongue and now he needed him. He needed to be in him, buried deep. He needed to feel Louis and see Louis as he fucked him into mindless oblivion and he needed it now, his cock now swollen and throbbing painfully between his legs.

But not here, not here on the cold marble of the kitchen bench top. It had been hot and it had turned Louis on being unceremoniously dumped on top of it. Harry had stripped him bare, exposing what was his, but now Harry wanted to show Louis that although the sex may be rough and that was what he wanted, that he was also cherished and loved beyond measure. Plus there was no way on earth Harry was doing anything else to Louis without lube and lube they did not have.

Harry pulled Louis up so that he was once again sitting, his legs coming to rest around Harry's waist. Harry pulled him close, kissing him passionately, his tongue darting into his mouth, tasting need and want.

Pulling away he looked deeply into Louis' sapphire blue eyes. It was there again. That look of deep seeded love that Harry knew was reflecting back at him from his own. God how he wanted to say those three little words to him. To tell him that he loved him, that Harry wasn't playing with his heart and his emotions. That this wasn't some sort of elaborate media stunt or illusion.

"Come on love, let's go to bed so I can have my way with you," Harry said, his voice low and rumbling, raspy and wild from his laboured breathing. "God Harry please," Louis whimpered in response, throwing his arms around Harry's neck as he lifted him up into his arms and began carrying him up the final flight of stairs to the bedroom.

They kissed and touched softly now as they made their way into Louis' bedroom, Harry gently kicking the door closed with his foot. Lying Louis down on the large, soft bed gently Harry made his way up Louis' already too sensitive body with lips and fingertips starting at his ankle and ending at his swollen, reddened lips.

Louis was whimpering loudly, each touch to his skin causing him to wriggle and moan beneath Harry. It was in that moment as Harry placed a chaste kiss to every inch of Louis' perfect supple skin that he realised that Louis didn't need to be dominated. He didn't need to be fucked like some cheap, nasty whore that Harry had picked up at some seedy nightclub. He needed a gentle touch, to be loved reverently with Harry's words, actions and his body and that was precisely what he was going to do.

"Where's the lube love, I'm not fucking you dry," Harry whispered softly. He'd wanted to say 'make love' but he wasn't sure how Louis would respond so instead he chose to refer to what he was about to do as fucking even though that was far from the truth.

"In the drawer there, in the bedside with the picture on it," Louis breathed, eyes still closed. The words were barely audible around heavy gasps, but Harry moved quickly retrieving the lube from the bedside table, stopping for a moment to smile fondly at a picture of the both of them they'd taken snuggled up in bed the morning Harry had left for London.

Harry couldn't help the smile that formed on his lips. The thought of Louis printing out the picture and shopping for the perfect frame to put it in making him feel a warmth that spread through his body. This was what love was. This was what sickening love songs were about. Like the kind he'd written every day for the last two months with Louis in mind.

Kissing Louis gently, Harry popped the top off of the lube and coated his fingers gently pressing them between Louis parted cheeks, coating his tight hole. Louis gasped into Harry's mouth as he gently pressed a finger inside him, the soft warm muscle clamping down around Harry's finger.

Harry let Louis adjust before he began stroking and moving his finger gently. One finger became two and soon it was three and once again Louis was moaning his name, the sound of it on Louis raspy, aroused voice making Harry's cock twitch painfully.

"Harry, oh Harry, that feels so good, please," Louis whined. He'd long surpassed moaning and Harry had a sneaking suspicion that neither of them were going to last much longer.

Gently and slowly Harry pulled his fingers free, Louis gasping at the emptiness left behind. Coating his cock in lube Harry positioned himself between Louis' legs. "You ready love?" Harry asked, making sure that Louis wanted to go ahead, knowing there was a big difference between a few fingers and a swollen, throbbing cock. "Oh god please Harry, please, please, please," Louis almost cried. "It's ok baby, let me take care of you. You are so beautiful, please let me show you how much," Harry breathed before pressing the tip of his cock gently to Louis' entrance, applying pressure slowly until he watched his tip disappear into Louis' tight ass.

It was the things dreams were made of. A feeling of pure extasy washing over Harry as he inched slowly into Louis before bottoming out with a groan. Both of them were panting and breathing heavily, Harry unmoving until he could feel that Louis was ready for him to move.

Slowly he began to move his hips, hypnotised by the way Louis took him so eagerly. Mesmerised by the way his cock looked as it moved in and out of Louis. Enraptured by the way Louis felt, hot and warm as he clenched around him with every thrust, slow and measured.

"Oh fuck Lou, oh baby you feel so good, God your so beautiful," Harry panted as he thrust ever so slightly faster into Louis. Louis was outright crying now as Harry moved, whimpers escaping his lips and tears streaking down his cheeks.

Harry stopped. "Oh god baby, hey look at me, hey am I hurting you? Baby look at me, I need you to tell me if I'm hurting you" Harry breathed quickly, voice laced with worry.

Louis shook his head, covering his face with his arms as the tears continued to run unchecked down his cheeks. Harry moved his arm gently, kissing Louis' lips softly, wiping away his tears with his thumb. "Please Lou, please tell me what's wrong," Harry said with a shaky breath, now on the verge of tears himself. "Nothing's, nothing's, wr-wrong," Louis said on shaking,  wobbly lips. "It's just, it's just I, I...." a wrenching sob overtook him, and Harry pulled out gently lying quickly next to Louis and folding him up into the warmth of his arms.

"Hey, listen to me," Harry began running a hand gently up and down Louis' spine. Caressing soft circles into his shoulder with the other. Louis' sobbing slowed and Harry could feel him nod meekly against his chest.

"Lou baby, my name isn't Ben," Louis stiffened slightly in Harry's arms, sobs now completely stopped but tears still running wild down his cheeks onto Harry's chest. He didn't speak so Harry continued.

"Im not going to use you. I'm not going to cheat on you with a bit of ass that's convinient. I'm not going to break your heart like he did, ever. You are smart, beautiful and caring. You're selfless and humble. You're sassy and call me out on my shit. You're the literal sun. You shine brighter than the sun, the moon and all the stars combined. You are precious and you should be treated as such. Ben was not who you were. He never defined you and he doesn't now. Neither do I. Your not just the guy Harry Styles is photographed with. Your not just a pretty piece of ass that I fuck. You're Louis Tomlinson. You are a strong, courageous, beautiful person in your own rite. You don't need me or Ben to validate you and make you someone. You are the most incredible person I've ever met and you have become that person on your own. Not because of anything that idiot or I have done," Harry said softly into Louis' ear. His breathing was still coming in wild gasps and shudders but his tears had stopped and he'd calmed a little listening to all that Harry had to say.

"And, and...." Harry stared knowing what Louis had wanted and needed to say earlier. Knowing that he wanted and needed to say it too. He took a deep breath and moved Louis so that he was looking at him, letting his red rimmed sapphire eyes look deep into his soul. And with a shy smile and a kiss the words they'd both been longing to hear and to say escaped Harry's mouth without another thought.

"And because I love you Louis Tomlinson."


	11. Harry Green, Rumbling Growls And Whispered Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I love you too Harry Styles." 
> 
> "More than you'll ever truly know. I love you so much it hurts. I can't accurately describe how your eyes are like the darkest nights, twinkling with a thousand stars. Or how your smile is like a moonbeam that lights up the room wherever you go. But most importantly I can't begin to tell you how your existence makes me feel like my world isn't falling apart any more."

_"And because I love you Louis Tomlinson."_

Louis couldn't believe what he was hearing. It was official, he'd officially lost it and  was now imagining Harry saying the words he'd waited so long to hear him say.

_"And because I love you Louis Tomlinson."_

Harry couldn't possibly have said what Louis had been craving to hear. He just couldn't. No sane, rational person falls in love after only ten measly weeks. Only heartbroken, love sick fools do. Fools like Louis. Fools who needed love to function. Needed it like the air in their lungs and the blood in their veins and Harry was certainly no fool.

_"And because I love you Louis Tomlinson."_

Louis stared into Harry's impossibly green eyes. A green that really held no comparison to any other. It was as though they were a colour not yet invented. A colour that couldn't be found on any colour wheel no matter the combination. They were simply 'Harry' green.

_"And because I love you Louis Tomlinson."_

Harry's eyes widened marginally with each passing second that Louis stared at him in shocked silence. They widened and widened and soon his mouth dropped into a frown and his brow creased in that way that made him look like a poor abandoned puppy.

_" And because I love you Louis Tomlinson."_

He needed to say something, do something. He needed to tell Harry that he felt the same way about him. That he was his everything. That after only a few short, yet eventful months there would never be anyone else in this world for him. It would only ever be Harry. It would always be his eyes, his smile, his lips, his touch. It would always be the way he wrinkled his nose when he was  trying to hide things. The way he stumbled over his words and mumbled nonsense when he was put on the spot. The way that he ruffled his hair, coaxing it into artful curls. The way that he wore Louis' clothes to feel closer to him even though they barely fit. The way he scribbled in his brown, leather bound journal, tongue peeking out from between his lips in concentration. The way he undressed Louis with his eyes when they were in public and even when they were alone. And the way he smiled, that oh so secret smile. The one that Louis knew was just for him.

It was in the way that Harry remembered the little things. How he knew exactly how Louis took his tea. The way he knew that placing a hand gently on Louis melted all his worries away. It was in the way that by just knowing Harry, Louis felt as though he was a better person. And it was in the way that he could see Harry's love for him burning brightly within him, flowing out into everything he did and said. It was the little things. The important things. The things others overlooked that Harry always treasured. And it was in the way that he was simply, unapologetically, Harry.

For Louis, from now until the end of his days, for however long he was destined to grace this Earth, wether they be together or apart, it would now and forever always be Harry.

_"And because I love you Louis Tomlinson."_

Tears continued to run unchecked down Louis' cheeks. His breathing was laboured and he knew he was shaking. But all that consumed him was the frantic beating of Harry's heart beneath his hand, the way his body felt as though it had been ignited where they touched and the look of hurt and panic now shrouding Harry's face.

 _"I love you too Harry Styles"_ , is what he meant to say. What he wanted to stay. What he said instead was, "You - you love me?"

The words came out gravely and forced, his throat raw and aching from crying. It seemed lately all he did was cry. But they weren't sad tears. They were happy tears. Excited tears. Hopeful tears.

"Of course I do. How could I not fall in love with you Lou? I think I've loved you from the moment I met you," Harry whispered. So softly and so gently as if he were whispering the answers to the secrets of the universe.

Tears now shimmered in Harry's eyes, a soft, fragile tear tumbling down his cheek. Louis felt as though his heart may stop. He could feel it frantically beating against the walls of his chest, his lungs burning and scrambling for air.

Reaching a hand up awkwardly between their entangled bodies, Louis wiped away his tears with the soft pad of his thumb, ghosting it softly across Harry's cheek.

Harry closed his eyes softly, allowing a breath to escape him as he nuzzled his cheek into the palm of Louis' hand. This was really, truly happening. This wonderful, angelic, gracious, beautiful, kind man was his. He'd proven it every second, ever minute and every hour of the last 70 glorious days.

70 glorious days filled with light and love and strength and passion and music. 70 glorious days spent both together and apart. 70 glorious days of just Louis and Harry, exploring each other's hearts, minds and bodies. 70 glorious days that in that moment Louis prayed would become 70 glorious years and more, because even 70 years with Harry would never truly be enough.

"I love you too Harry Styles," he whispered against his soft, supple lips. "More than you'll ever truly know. I love you so much it hurts. I can't accurately describe how your eyes are like the darkest nights, twinkling with a thousand stars. Or how your smile is like a moonbeam that lights up the room wherever you go. But most importantly I can't begin to tell you how your existence makes me feel like my world isn't falling apart any more." Louis watched with bated breath as Harry's eyes flew open, still glimmering with tears but full of a fierce, all consuming love that was all for him.

.....

Closing the minuscule space between them Harry brought his lips to Louis' brushing across them softly, lovingly. Louis simply closed his eyes, a contented sigh escaping his mouth that was being gently devoured by Harry's.

The skin of Harry's back was warm and soft, but toned and strong. A happy contradiction. Louis' fingertips skimmed the tiny, silky hairs coating Harry's skin, feeling goosebumps spring up in their wake.

Rolling to lie on his back, still in the safety of Harry's arms, Louis continued his leisurely assault. He could feel Harry's muscles stiffening underneath his hands as they made their way from the dimples at the bottom of his spine to the creamy, velvet skin of his neck.

Harry's breathing once again was becoming laboured, rugged, harsh. Harry pushed himself up, supporting himself by his forearms allowing both of them more room to breathe. From his current position, Harry's nipples were on full display and Louis took advantage of the fact knowing just how much them being teased and licked and sucked drove Harry wild.

Releasing his mouth from the persistent kisses Harry was showering him in he ducked his head quickly and took one of Harry's nipples into his mouth. As if on cue Harry's head flew back, his eyes and jaw clamped shut tightly. His chocolate curls danced over Louis fingers that were resting on Harry's shoulders, holding him tightly too him, a sound like rumbling thunder escaping Harry, floating up into the air around them.

"Oh god Lou..." Harry whispered, speaking to no one in particular, the words leaving his mouth as if he had no control over them at all. Louis couldn't help the satisfied smirk at Harry's outburst and continued to nip and lick and suck at Harry's nipples without mercy.

The head board creaked and slammed against the wall as Harry moved and gripped onto it, holding himself steady against Louis' mouth and it's torturous endeavours. Louis, smirk still firmly in place could feel Harry's hard, pulsing cock pushing into the soft flesh of his stomach from where he was now kneeling between Louis' legs gripping the head board for support.

Wriggling down the bed, still beneath Harry's strong, capable body Louis positioned himself so that his mouth was aligned with Harry's cock. "Lou, what are you - Oh God!" Harry cried out, bucking his hips as Louis took his cock in his mouth without warning.

Harry had been inside Louis, loving him tenderly from the inside out not a mere handful of minutes ago and as the realisation of what Louis was doing and what Harry had done dawned on him, Harry's head snapped down, his eyes like saucers staring down at Louis as he sucked on his hard length.

"You're so dirty for me baby, so dirty, oh fuck Lou..." Harry was rambling and it filled Louis with an odd sense of accomplishment. _He_ was the one responsible for the sheen of sweat that now glistened as it made its way down the centre of Harry's spine. _He_ was responsible for the nonsensical ramblings and thundering growls. _He_ was responsible for Harry's shaking legs and his knuckles white as they unrelentingly gripped the headboard. It was him. Louis. Broken, beaten and scarred Louis. The man Ben said no one would ever want, need or love again. Well, in Louis' now very biased opinion he was glad that "nobody" wanted, needed or loved him. Because Harry did and that's all that mattered. All that mattered was that Harry needed him. That Harry wanted him. That Harry loved him.

Pulling off of Harry with a loud, echoing pop Louis stared up at Harry above him. He was panting and sweating and his curls stuck to his forehead in swirly patterns. He was pure perfection. At every second of the day, no matter what he was doing or what he was or wasn't wearing, to Louis he was perfect.

He wasn't looking at Louis, instead his face was turned up towards the ceiling. He was bathed in a silver, ethereal glow from the moonlight streaming in through the windows and Louis still couldn't believe this wasn't all some sort of elaborate illusion.

Louis could feel his cock twitching and throbbing at the sight of Harry. He stroked himself slowly, the action causing Harry to look down at him, his eyes lidded and heavy and impossibly green.

"I want you inside of me Harry. I want you to make love to me, please... Make love to me," Louis heard himself say but he didn't recognise his own voice. It was barely a whisper, soft and gently pleading.

"Anything for you my love," was Harry's reply and he released his grip on the headboard to lower himself gently back on top of Louis.

They kissed slowly and softly for a few minutes before Louis' cock was painfully brushing against Harry's and their moans became heavy and laced with desire, their kissing keeping time with their breathing.

.....

"Oh god Harry, oh fuck, right there baby, right there right there right there!" Louis was rambling, his hands were scrambling around the bed sheets, in Harry's hair, dragging almost painfully down his back trying to simultaneously escape him yet pull him closer, in further, in harder.

Harry could feel his sweat trailing down the sides of his face and down his nose before free falling and mingling with Louis', to pool in the hollow of his delectable collar bones.

Hips thrusting wildly, hands clamping down on Louis' hips, Harry surrendered himself to Louis' tight, slick warmth. It was all consuming and his mind and body felt warm and fuzzy. Their skin was wet with sweat and spit and lube and their breathing was coming out in pants and moans and growls of pleasure. It was nauseating, the feeling of love and worship and trust that was cocooning them, creating their own slice of paradise.

Without warning Louis pushed Harry backwards so that he slipped completely out of him and he scrambled up onto his hands and knees, looking backwards over his shoulder at Harry with smouldering come-and-get-it eyes, his cheeks flushed a violent scarlet, his plump bottom lip wedged between his teeth.

Harry was frozen, his mouth agape and eyes wide. There was an audible intake of breath as slowly, deliberately Louis began to spread his legs further apart, his chest coming to rest on the soft blanketed mattress still maintaining eye contact with Harry. His cock was bouncing heavily between his legs and from Harry's view point he looked sinful and exquisite in equal measure. For Harry's eye's only.

A smirk had formed on Louis' lips, knowing that what he was doing was leaving Harry stunned and speechless but turned on as hell. It was then Harry realised he'd been mindlessly stroking his hard cock, just watching.

He watched as Louis lay his face down on the mattress, his pert arse high in the air. He moved both hands around behind him, spreading his cheeks wide, his pretty pink hole exposed, glistening and waiting. His back dipped, exposing every muscled curve and all Harry could do was stare and stroke and stare and swallow back an ungodly whine that was threatening to break free.

"See anything you like?" Louis asked, his voice low and warm and velvety. Harry simply nodded his head, his curls bouncing wildly, drops of his sweat flying in every direction. What was even air? Was he still breathing? "Well then, best not put this fabulous arse to waste then," Louis breathed, swaying his hips, his cock bobbing with the motion, the tip and his hole glistening in the silver moonlight.

Harry was entranced, watching the way the moonlight cast shadows over the dips and curves of Louis' body. Captivated by the way his muscles move and rippled under his tanned skin. He was perfection personified and he was his.

_Baby you're perfect, baby we're perfect..._

The words ricocheted around Harry's skull, filling every fibre and cell of his being. No truer words had ever been spoken. Nothing had ever felt this right, this sure in his life. Louis was it for him. There would never be another he'd love even half as much as he loved Louis right in that moment.

Crawling his way across the short distance between them Harry placed a soft kiss to the inside of Louis' right ankle, swirling his tongue and nipping at his soft skin gently, moving further up the inside of his calf, up the back of his thick, toned thigh before finally reaching the tantalising swell of Louis' arse.

Taking his time, Harry slowly kissed over his cheeks, replacing Louis' hands with his own, keeping him exposed and open. Licking fat stripes over his quivering ring of muscle Harry breached him swiftly with his tongue before it was suddenly gone again, all the while pulling moans and strings of disjointed expletives from Louis' plump, swollen lips.

They were  both panting and breathless, cocks swollen and leaking. Harry pulled himself up onto his knees, taking his cock in his hand, running the tip gently over Louis' entrance. "Fuck me Harry, please baby, please I need you in me now..." Louis pleaded, his voice muffled by the mattress.

Pushing gently, Harry breached the tight ring of muscle so that his tip was buried inside Louis, then stilled. Louis was whimpering, pleads and moans and soft whispers echoing around him. Without warning Harry slammed into him, his pelvis slamming hard against the soft cushion of Louis' arse. "Fuck!" Louis screamed, all sense of decency now abandoned as Harry repeated his hard thrusts, over and over and over until he could feel Louis' body quivering beneath his hands.

He could feel his orgasm approaching, tingling warmth spreading through him like a tidal wave. Leaning over Louis as he continued to fuck into him at a relentless pace, Harry wrapped his hand around Louis' cock, kissing up the ridges of his spine as he stroked in time with his thrusts.

"Oh god, baby I'm so close, so close," Louis panted out between laboured breaths. Harry felt as though he was about to implode. Louis was hot and slick and tight around his cock, his muscles contracting and his legs shaking as Harry stroked him nearer and nearer to his high, punishing his arse mercilessly chasing his own.

"Come for me baby," Harry growled out and no sooner had the words left his mouth than Louis clamped down around him both of them crying out, hot strings of come shooting from both of them before they lay colapsed on the mattress, panting and shaking but feeling sated, spent and above all loved.

.....

"I love you Lou," Harry whispered into the darkness. "I love you too Haz," Louis replied with a sleepy and satisfied smile. Louis felt warm and safe and loved. For the first time in a long time he wasn't lying awake, tossing and turning. Watching the clock as the seconds, minutes and hours sluggishly passed by. He could feel the tendrils of sleep wrapping around his body. Lying in Harry's arms, sated, spent and frankly a little sore Louis felt as though he'd never felt better in his life.

Was this how it was always going to be between them? Were they always going to feel this way about each other? A raw, unbridled, indescribable love and passion. The kind of love that sappy love songs and beautiful poetry were written about? He hoped so.

.....

Rolling onto his side Harry lay in the warmth of Louis' body, wrapped around his back, pulling him closer, keeping him safe. He wanted this for the rest of his life. To always fall asleep with Louis. To always wake up to his angelic face. This was what he wanted his life to be like. To be full of love and home and family. Yes, he could get used to this.

He could feel Louis' chest rising and falling against his back, beginning to slowly even out as the weight of sleep started to overtake them. But just as he closed his eyes, barely drifting in and out of conciousness he heard it. A whisper.

"Please, please don't let this be an illusion. Please let this be real."

And it was in  that moment that Harry realised that Louis was just as terrified of losing him as he was of losing Louis. But there would be no way he'd ever let that happen not for anything or anyone and he knew that he had to prove it to Louis. Show him that this was it. That he was his one and only. That this wasn't an illusion. That what they had was real. And so closing his eyes for the last time and letting sleep devour him, he vowed that in the morning, when the sun came up and it warmed their skin, that that's exactly what he'd do. Now and always. 


	12. Sunrises, Facing Fears And Good Morning's

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis shows Harry a part of him people rarely get to see and early morning surprises are sometimes best.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have had to research how much songwriters get paid and how many units of Adele's "Hello" were sold for this chapter so if any of it is innacurate I apologise in advance.

Soft, glowing sunlight painted in gold, pastel pink, peach and indigo hues, the screeching of Silver Gulls and the rhythmic ebb and flow of the tide streamed in through the bedroom windows.

It was a foreign, yet not entirely unpleasant mixture of sights and sounds. The early morning rays glistened on the ripples of the waves, Gulls swooped and dove towards the endless expanse of water, the dull roar of the tide crashed to the shore and the Frankston Pier stood out in stark relief.

Harry stared out onto Port Phillip Bay, entranced by the sights and sounds before him. He had his head propped up by his arms as they rested behind his head, his chest rising and falling seemingly in time with the tide and he felt at peace.

He was in bed with the man he loved, his smaller frame sprawled out beside him, with the stunning view stretching out in front of him. It was an altogether exceptional way to begin the morning and one he much preferred to a cavernous, cold and empty hotel suite or his cold lonely bed at home.

He watched as the sky slowly began to change, red's, gold's and purples giving way to oranges and yellows before slowly, ever so slowly, it yielded turning a bright and stunning shade of cerulean blue. He didn't know how long he lay there, simply enjoying life. Enjoying the truly simple and sometimes seemingly insignificant things that he was always too busy to enjoy.

He wished silently to himself that Louis could see this, but this was his view everyday. He'd no doubt seen it hundreds of times before, but none the less he wanted them to share in it's beauty together.

But the way his muscular back rose and fell, the way his dark eyelashes skimmed his cheeks and the way that his lips were parted in a small adorable 'o' shape as he slept had stopped Harry from waking him. Instead he lay and enjoyed the way Louis looked as he slept, wishing he could see what he was dreaming of.

Harry began to get restless, always the early riser even long before his hectic career had even been a distant dream. He was usually up, dressed and enjoying his morning run by this hour of the day. But he didn't usually have a spectacular view and even more spectacular looking Louis to lay and admire.

His back was starting to become sore from all the sitting he'd done yesterday, being confined to uncomfortable and cramped aeroplanes and the countless hours he'd been lying in bed that his body wasn't used to. His body also wasn't used to the rigours of being the top when it came to having sex, but the pain in his back was worth every second he'd spent lovingly worshipping Louis the night before. And if he was perfectly honest he quite enjoyed being the dominant one.

His right hip however, was paining him more than anything else. Lifting the covers and peering down, a large rectangular shaped bruise greeted him.

A smirk spread across his face as his fingertips grazed lightly over it, images of his night with Louis, all fumbling feet, scrambling hands and a metal railing racing to the forefront of his mind.

Last night they'd been rough, letting every ounce of pent up tension loose onto each other, unyielding and unforgiving, yet had been tender, loving, reverent and gentle, worshipping each other's mind, body and soul. They'd loved each other with their words and their bodies and apparently Harry's had paid the price, a price he was always and would always be willing to pay for Louis.

The room was now bathed in the cool winter sunlight and Harry took a moment to survey his surroundings before he got up to start his day. The walls of the room were painted a modest cream, the only defining feature was the black metal framed, floor to ceiling French windows, that lead out onto a small wooden balcony directly in front of him and a sleek silver floor standing mirror.

To the right of the bed was the ensuite bathroom Harry had yet to explore and to the right was what he assumed could only be a walk in closet. A small tastefully styled chair sat to one side of the windows, a fluffy looking throw artfully draped over it and on either side of the bed were matching bedside tables. They were complete with matching lamps and the framed picture of the both of them, the only true personal touch in the room.

It puzzled Harry as to why Louis had chosen to decorate his bedroom so starkly, no real signs of life or personality or anything that made Louis, 'Louis' other than the recent addition of the picture. It was however a beautiful room and the rest of the house, or what he'd seen of it was equally so.

It also occurred to Harry then, as he climbed out of bed carefully as to avoid waking Louis and hurrying quietly to the bathroom, that this house had to have cost a small fortune. It was none of his business how much Louis had paid for it, or what his financial status was, but it intrigued him none the less. How had Louis been able to afford it? Did songwriters really make this kind of money? He'd never much thought about how much money the songwriters he sometimes employed earned. The focus was always on the artist singing the songs and never on the people who helped write them. Surely they received a commission or royalties too.

His mind continued to wander as he stepped into the large tiled shower, letting the warm water sooth his aching back. He was sure that Louis had mentioned having to scramble to purchase the tickets for his show and that they'd taken the train to get there. Not that having money enough to afford a beautiful house meant that he couldn't use public transport and fight the masses for concert tickets just like everyone else did, it was all just very humbling to Harry that despite his obvious wealth, he had chosen not to use it for his own gain, choosing to remain grounded and 'normal'.

Harry had always strived to remain grounded and humble despite his rising fame. To Harry being famous didn't make you anything. To be perfectly honest he hated the word. It was always used in such a negative way and he just never saw himself like that.

Sure he had beautiful homes, an impressive collection of expensive cars and an even more impressive collection of guitars but having all of these things didn't make him Harry. All that showed was that he had the money to afford them.

They didn't show people that at every concert he'd done this last tour he'd donated a percentage of the merchandise sales to a local charity in the host city.

Having money and fame didn't tell people that every year on his sister's birthday he called her and sang Happy Birthday to her in Elmo's voice simply to hear her laugh.

Being famous didn't show people that he was a mummy's boy. That he loved his Mum more than anyone on the planet. That she was his best friend and he could go to her with all of his problems, or call her any time he liked just to hear her voice.

Being famous didn't make up the core values and beliefs that made Harry who he was. And he strived to let people see that beneath the lights and the fame and the money he was still Harry. A tall, lanky, curly haired, green eyed boy from Holmes Chapel who used to work in a bakery. A bakery he still visited every time he went home, doning an apron and helping out like he'd never left. A boy who loved his Mum and his sister and the colour pink and painting his nails because he liked how it looked. That was the real Harry. And that was the Harry he hoped Louis seen when he looked at him.

He stretched his back out under the hot water one last time. Turning to face the shower head he sifted through the impressive array of body washes, shampoos and scrubs before selecting a coconut and jasmine scented wash, washing himself quickly. It felt creamy on his skin and it smelt devine. Feeling sufficiently refreshed he turned the shower off and stepped out, wrapping himself in a soft, fluffy, sky blue towel. Even the fact that Louis had towels that weren't white seemed to make him smile like an idiot. It would sound foolish to anyone else but to Harry it meant the world. It meant he was home, it meant that his days of being confined to barracks in snobby, overpriced hotels were over, not a generic white towel in sight.

.....

It was past 9am and Harry was sprawled out on a wooden lounger in the secluded courtyard. After rummaging in his carry on bag for some clean clothes and sneaking out of the bedroom he'd quietly padded his way down the stairs to the main living area. He'd been greeted with a trail of discarded clothing, charger cables and paperwork littering the kitchen floor and had made quick work of clearing away the mess they'd made in their haste last night. He'd then made himself a cup of tea and spied the small courtyard off of the living room. It wasn't overly large, but was big enough for his lounger and the other beside it and the hosts of tropical looking plants and small bubbling water feature.

It was peaceful and secluded and thin rays of sunlight filtered through the palms casting striped shadows over him, the water feature bubbling quietly in the background lulling him into a contented calm. He'd dressed in a long sleeved, stretch material shirt, tracksuit pants and a hoodie. He'd had the clothes tucked into his carry on bag he'd brought with him from the airport but had rummaged in Louis' closet, pinching a pair of his boxers after he'd remembered he didn't have any clean ones with him.

It was winter in Australia now and he'd never experienced a Melbourne winter. It was chilly for most but he wasn't overly cold. He'd just spent the last few months in Holmes Chapel and they'd had an unusually cold spring, it had even snowed at one point.

He remembered back to that night as he sipped at his tea, the hot liquid slipping down his throat warming him as it went. He remembered how he'd stared out of the window of his childhood bedroom, watching as the snow fell around the houses. Darkness had fallen in a hushed whisper and the only light was the orange glow of the street lamps. The earth had felt as though every sound had been sucked from it, everything silent, eerily silent. It was oddly soothing yet unsettling and had always been Harry's favourite part about when it snowed, especially at night time. The pure silence it seemed to create as it slowly drifted towards the earth below was a magical experience and one he treasured no matter how many times he experienced it.

He remembered how he'd FaceTime'd Louis then and there, not even checking the time and had turned the camera around so that Louis could share it with him, even if it was from the other side of the world.

He'd watched Louis as Louis had watched the snowflakes flitting past the window. He watched as a look of both joy and sadness filled his face and tears clouded his eyes. He knew Louis missed his home in Doncaster although he'd never admit it aloud and it was in that moment that Harry knew what he wanted to gift Louis for his birthday and where he wanted to spend Christmas. Wherever Louis was, that was a given, but here, at home, snuggled up by the fire under a cosy blanket sounded beyond perfect.

He hadn't spoken to Louis about his plans for Christmas or told him what he was planning to do. He just hoped that Louis would want to come with him. He'd have to leave by New Year anyway so he hoped this time he wouldn't have to leave Louis behind. He'd even pay for Jay and Lottie to come too if it meant he could spend it with Louis. He knew that the three of them were close, even living together still and it made sense to Harry that Louis would want to spend Christmas with them. But he hoped he wanted to spend it with him just as much.

As he sat mindlessly day dreaming of log fires, swirling snow and cosy blankets his phone pinged from the pocket of his tracksuit pants. He pulled his phone out and looked at the screen. It was a text message from Tay and a smile filled Harry's face.

**From Tay:** _Hi Harry. Hope you got to Melbourne safely and you're enjoying your time with Louis. Your luggage is on its way and should be with you shortly. Text or call me if you need anything else._

_Tay x_

Harry loved that his staff were more like family than they were employees or colleagues. It made him smile knowing that although Tay had messaged him on the pretence of telling him his luggage was on its way she'd also taken the time to ask how he was. Still smiling down at the screen he typed out a reply.

**From Harry:** _Morning Tay :) I arrived safely after being stuck at Changi for 3 bloody hours! :( Thanks to Lou I was able to make it out of the airport without having to take a single picture. I love my fans but the trip over was long and exhausting and as usual he saved me the trouble by putting himself in the line of fire. Check twitter when you get a minute the pics are priceless! Thinks he's a proper mega star now hahaha. Thank you for organising my luggage. Had to pinch a pair of Lou's boxers ;)_  
 _Hope you're well._

_All the love_

_H x_

He pressed send as the sound of a car coming to a stop out front heralded the arrival of his luggage. He was eager to have his belongings with him but more importantly his guitar. Being both with and apart from Louis over these last months had given him endless inspiration for new songs and he wanted to get some writing done before the songs that flooded his mind were forgotten. He may even rope Louis into helping him write a few. And if he was lucky, very lucky, maybe even sing on a few tracks too. His voice was special and magical and it just had to be shared with the world. But if not, Harry atleast felt honoured that he'd heard it at least once.

.....

Louis grumbled his way down the stairs to the main living floor of the house in search of Harry. He'd woken up to a cold, empty bed and the chilly winters day was doing nothing to warm his bones or brighten his mood.

He was dressed in fluffy socks, grey tracksuit pants, a long sleeved shirt, his pink tour hoodie, a black scarf and a hideously bright, orange beanie. Harry had caught sight of him upon entry to the kitchen and hadn't been able to help the snorting laughter that had escaped him.

"Laugh all you want Styles, not all of us are unnaturally warm like you," Louis grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest attempting to preserve some of his ever dwindling body heat.

"I'm not unnaturally warm Lou, I'm just hot for you," Harry replied with a salacious smirk and a wink. Louis' heart instantly raced but he managed to roll his eyes at him with a small smile tugging at his lips.

"Be that as it may, today I am an onion and you can deal with it," he said with a huff.   
"An onion?" Harry asked raising an eyebrow.  
"Yes Harold, an onion," Louis replied as if that was all the explanation Harry needed.   
"And what has an onion got to do with your...interesting...outfit choice?" Harry said, his face contorting obviously fighting to hold back another wave of laughter.   
"Layers dear Harold. LAY-ERS!" Louis said exaggerating the word and dramatically waving his hands around his body. He glared at Harry then, an exasperated sigh leaving his body as Harry was once more hunched over in laughter. Louis hugged himself tighter and scowled at him, tapping his foot against the cold polished concrete floor while Harry gathered himself.

When his breathing had returned somewhat to normal and his face was once more composed Harry wandered lazily over to him from where he'd been standing against the counter, wrapping his arms around him tightly. Bringing his head down he placed a warm, gentle kiss to Louis' lips. Louis could feel Harry's body heat leach into him as he pressed his body closer to Harry's, resting his head against his chest, letting Harry warm him.

"How are you not cold?" Louis mumbled, eyes closed breathing Harry in. He smelled of coconut and jasmine and Louis knew he'd showered using arguably his favourite body wash and a stupid grin covered his face at the thought. "It was snowing in Holmes Chapel Lou, it's not that cold," Harry replied softly as he rubbed his hands gently up and down Louis' back.

"Well I'm freezing and I feel exhausted. I want to do nothing but be lazy with you today before Mum and Lottie get back. Do you wanna come cuddle by the fire with me?" Louis asked lifting his head up to look at Harry.

Harry had a puzzled look on his face. Louis couldn't contain his smile as Harry's head tilted to the side like a bewildered puppy. He knew the reason behind his confusion and it amused him knowing he'd aleast been able to keep one thing a secret from Harry.

"Of course I want to cuddle with you my love, but may I point out that there isn't a fire place in here. Or in your bedroom. So how do you propose we snuggle by a fire when there isn't one?" Harry said.

"Well lover, just because there isn't a fireplace in here or in our room doesn't mean there isn't one," Louis replied, noting the staggering, dimple filled smile that had appeared on Harry's face when he'd used the word 'our' when referring to the bedroom.

"Come on," Louis continued, moving out of Harry's hold, taking his hand and leading him down the stairs to the lower level. Harry followed along behind him quietly, stroking Louis' hand with his thumb as they walked.

When they reached the bottom of the stairs Louis turned abruptly to his left, stopping in front of a solid wooden door. He hadn't let go of Harry's hand but he'd stopped dead and it was suddenly becoming very hard for Louis to breathe.

He turned to face Harry with a terrified expression on his face, eyes wide, scanning Harry's face frantically. This was his sanctuary. Sure this was technically his office, the place where the "magic" happened but it was also the literal embodiment of everything that made Louis who he was and he was suddenly terrified by the prospect of showing it to Harry.

Clients he worked with were one thing. They came, they wrote songs and they left. They didn't care how the room was decorated or that every knick knack, trinket and picture held a special place in Louis' heart or reminded him of a time, place or person. They weren't the love of his life. They weren't the boy who made his legs turn to jelly simply by breathing. Everything Louis held dear to his heart was behind that door. And revealing it to Harry suddenly felt like a monumental step in their relationship. A point of no return.

"Lou, what's wrong?" Harry asked, sensing the fear and worry tumbling off of Louis in waves. Louis sighed heavily, closing his eyes for a moment before opening them again and taking a deep breath.

"My entire life is behind this door Haz. My own family have never been in here. This is where I work, where I create music, where I come when I'm happy, when I'm sad, when I'm lonely, when I want to escape from the world. Behind this door are physical reminders of everything I am and everything I hold dear to me, and -" Louis stopped, staring into Harry's eyes. He needed Harry to know just how much this meant to him and what opening the door and allowing him in would mean.

"And," Harry said, softly, in a faint whisper, "you're trusting me with your heart and your soul. That's what's behind that door." His grip tightened on Louis' hand and he pulled him closer, softly brushing their lips together.

All Louis could do was nod his head, the large pom pom on his beanie bobbing along with the movement of his head. What had he done to deserve someone as amazing as Harry? He was always kind, caring and understanding. He always listened when Louis had something to say. He held him when he cried and became emotional over silly things that should make him happy not sad. And he accepted Louis with all of his flaws and broken parts and loved him anyway. It was for all of those reasons and more he wanted and needed to share this with Harry.

.....

Harry gasped as he tried to take in all that was in front of him. The room was impressive in size but felt cosy and homely, the complete opposite from the almost cold and sterile surroundings of the rest of the house.

The walls were exposed red brick, giving the room the feel of a New York loft appartment. The floor was a dark, natural timber and was covered by deep red Persian rugs. To the left of where Harry was standing, still gaping in awe in the doorway, was a spacious area housing microphone stands, a large free standing recording microphone, a full sized grand piano, a keyboard, drumkit, a rack with every type and manner of guitars, padded stools and a small collection of black music stands.

Harry slowly padded into the room, his brain not fully regestering his movements, while Louis leaned against the door frame watching him as he wandered.

The walls were clad in soft neutral tone timber, perfect for creating the best acoustics possible and also doubling as sound proofing. There was a large collection of amplifier's, speakers both free standing and wall mounted and a large book self. It was crammed with guitar straps, pics, tuners, spare guitar strings in every size and style, head sets, microphone's, portable amplifier's, spare cords, note pads, pens, pencils, post it notes and all other manner of stationary.

Turning back to face the opposite end of the room, eyes still wide, a bright smile softened Harry's face. It was like walking into a dream, his deepest secrets and desires coming to life. Months ago he'd imagined himself cuddled up with Louis on a Chesterfield sofa, writing music together. And now, it seemed he would be granted his wish.

There at the far end of the room were two large, deep burgundy Chesterfield sofas arranged in an L shape. They were perched upon a softer, cream toned, fluffy rug with a suitcase shaped coffee table between them. The fire place facing them was made of the same red brick as the walls and potted palms and odd colourful pot plants were tucked into the corners bringing the room to life.

But for Harry, by far his favourite part of the room was the large metal, spiral stair case he wasn't sure what lead to and the plethora of trophies, photographs and awards that decorated every other available surface. The majority of the trophies were from all of his footballing success when he was younger, the pictures all smiling happy faces that Harry assumed were the rest of Louis' family. And there, on a small wooden table nestled next to a pretty pot plant was his ticket from Harry's show in a stunning gold frame. Harry's heart swelled and he felt so deeply touched that Louis had chosen to remember arguably the most amazing day of Harry's life in such a thoughtful way.

But it was there, on a bare expanse of wall, taking pride of place above everything else, the one thing Harry knew Louis was most proud of. It was a framed copy of Adele's hit single "Hello" announcing its Diamond status in Canada. Harry knew the song had done extremely well all over the world but it was in that moment the true gravity of just how talented Louis really was hit home.

Not many songs had the prestige of being awarded Diamond status and Harry was suddenly overcome with pride at just how much Louis had achieved. But somehwere deep in the depths of himself he felt the familiar pangs of sadness. Louis was truly incredible. Between himself and Adele who in her own right was an extremely talented woman, they'd written a truly magnificent balad that millions of people all over the world had fallen in love with instantly. However, Louis refused to be acknowledged in any way.

One night as he'd sat alone in his modest bedroom, tucked away in the back corner of his mother's home Harry had searched every website he could think of for any mention of Louis and his work. It had been to no avail. The only clue that Adele hadn't written "Hello" on her own was the mention of "and guest writer". Harry of course knew it was Louis they'd been referring to but only because Louis had told him so.

It made Harry's heart ache to think that Louis never claimed the recognition he deserved for his work. To Harry it was a travesty that his talents were hidden from the world and that he was happy to let the recording artists and other writers take the credit for his lyrical masterpieces wether he was paid for them or not.

He turned back to face Louis who was now standing in the middle of the room and spoke.

"Lou, this, this is amazing," he breathed out, his voice coming out in a scratchy whisper. Louis smiled shyly back at him, his hands fidgeting with the sleeves of his hoodie.  
"I especially love the framed single, Diamond huh? Aren't you quite the dark horse," Harry joked attempting to lighten the mood. "She's served me well," Louis said. Harry smiled back at him fondly, Louis modest as ever. "Guess that answers my question as to how you can afford a place like this, not that it's any of my business really," he hurried to say, realising what he said probably made him sound like an arrogant ass.

Louis laughed as Harry's cheeks flushed red. "It's ok Haz, it comes with the territory of keeping my life private. But trust me when I tell you this Harry, I'm far from poor. Not as well off as you granted but far from poor. I haven't really worked since Ben and I ended, just couldn't feel it anymore. And "Hello" ended up being what helped me mentally, to let some of that shit go."

"So, if you don't mind me asking, how much is this place worth?" Harry asked hoping he wasn't pushing his luck. "I paid 2.2 million for it, in cash, but I think it's worth about 3 million these days," Louis replied shrugging as if it was nothing. "2.2 million! Holy shit Louis how much money did that song make you? I mean I don't care about the money side of my career, I don't pay much attention to how much a song makes and who gets what. All I know is my bank account is grossly huge and it's daunting if I'm honest."

"I get that, I really do. It's one of the things I love about you Haz. You're not doing this for the money and the fame. Same as I don't do it for those reasons either. But put it this way, I get a base salary of $45,000 a year. Not a huge amount but comfortable for anyone. But it's all thanks to Adele and that glorious song I can afford to live how I do. I make $0.91 for every copy of the song sold wether that be a single or on the album, physical copy or download," Harry nodded to show he was following along."And 25 and "Hello" sold a combined 8 million copies in the US in the first week."

Harry was gobsmacked. He clearly hadn't heard properly. "In the first week! 8 million units!" He shouted, Louis laughing at him, all this not phasing him in the slightest anymore. "Yes Harold, in the first week. And that was just US sales. From that alone I made 7.2 million dollars. It's the first song sice Elton John's 97 version of Candle In The Wind to have 1 million singles sold in a week. That doesn't factor in all the other country's it went up to 7x Platimun in, Diamond in Canada or all the other royalties that I haven't mentioned. I still earn money from that song to this day."

Harry stood with his mouth agape, his heart full of pride and admiration for Louis. He wasn't sure what he should say or do and so decided on, "Honestly Lou you are the most amazing and humble person, you're truly fucking amazing, thank you so much for sharing this with me. For trusting me enough to show me something that's obviously so special to you."

"Your special too me too Haz. And you've let me into your life and your world, it only seemed fair that I share mine with you," Louis mumbled. Harry covered the space between them in a few strides and wrapped Louis up tightly in his arms. Harry could feel the tension leaving Louis' body as he held him and he bent his head down pressing a soft kiss to the crook of Louis' neck before whispering into his ear.

"Hey, listen to me, if you don't want me in here I'll understand. I understand now why you were so apprehensive about showing me this room. But if it's too much and you don't want me in here I won't be offended Lou. Don't think for a second that I need anything more than you are ready or willing to give."

Louis raised his head up to look at Harry, scanning his eyes with his own, searching their depths for comfort and reassurance. As always that twinkling light was there, a look of pure and utter love and devotion beaming back at him.

"I'll never truly be ready Harry. Not really. But I can't let the past haunt me and stop me from living my life. I can't continue to let that dark cloud hang over me and sour what we have. You're not him. I know you're not. But it's just really hard to not be scared of getting my heart broken again," Louis said, imploring Harry to understand what he was telling him and what he needed from him.

"What is it that you want babe?" Harry asked as if he was able to read Louis' mind. "I can always tell with you when there's more to what you're saying, more than what you're telling me. You know you can always ask me anything." Harry said.

"Well there's two things really," Louis said, letting out a shaky, nervous breath, gripping tighter to the front of Harry's hoodie. Harry nodded, encouraging Louis to continue.

"Firstly I've been thinking about us alot lately. Especially when you were away," Louis said stumbling nervously over his words, afraid of Harry's reaction to what he was about to say.   
"Go on love, it's ok," Harry said, reassuring Louis somewhat that it was ok to say or ask whatever he needed to.   
"Well I know you don't like labels, especially when it comes to your love life, but, I was wondering if maybe you wanted to officially be my boyfriend? Maybe?" Louis rushed out, the words jumbling together. He carried on quickly before Harry had a chance to reply. "But like only for us, and well our friends and family already see us that way and so do I if I'm honest but I need it to be official Haz. For my own sanity I need this. I mean if you don't want to I get it -" Harry cut him off before he could continue rambling any further, pressing their lips together and kissing him with such passion that Louis felt a little light headed.

"Of course I want to be your boyfriend Lou. I kind of figured we were already there, even before I left for Holmes Chapel. But if you need me to say the words and make it official I will. You know I love you Louis. So much sometimes it hurts. And I'll do anything to make you happy, so long as we are together," Harry said, kissing Louis once more as a tear slipped gently down Louis' cheek.

"I love you too Harry," Louis managed out wiping roughly at his face with the sleeves of his hoodie. Relief washed over him as he hugged Harry closer, now feeling at peace that Harry was his and he was Harry's and that for now they wanted and needed to have each other in their lives.

"So, what's the second thing?" Harry asked quirkining an eyebrow at Louis, resulting in quiet giggles. "Well, I know you probably get asked this all the time Haz and I could just listen to the radio or a CD, but, would you sing for me? I love to hear you sing, just for me," Louis said shyly, peering through his eyelashes at Harry.

Harry leant forward, pressing a soft, reverent kiss to Louis' lips, pulling away after a few seconds and nuzzling his nose against his cheek and down the side of Louis' jaw. Brining his mouth in line with Louis' ear he spoke in a whisper, his breath tickling the tiny hairs that coated Louis' skin. "Always my love. I will always sing for you, but can I ask one thing in return?" Louis nodded, his eyes now closed, his head muddled, consumed only by Harry. Harry smiled and continued, "Sing with me, please Lou? Your voice is so beautiful, please sing with me."

Louis' eyes flew open at Harry's request. He'd never sung for anyone before. The only people who had heard him sing were his Mum, Lottie and now Harry. He didn't do it often and not in the way Harry wanted him too even though he was more than capable. But strangely he was strongly considering Harry's simple request. He was in his safe heaven. Tucked away from the world outside, surrounded by the parts of it that mattered the most. And he knew that no matter what Harry would never judge him. He'd heard him sing already so there really wasn't any reason to say no.

He found himself nodding, looking up into Harry's eyes and watching as a heart stopping smile filled his beautiful face, like a small child at Christmas. He lived to see that smile and that look of love on Harry's face and if him singing with him meant so much to Harry then that's exactly what he was going to do.

"Got any song in particular love?" Louis found himself saying. Harry looked shyly down at his feet, scuffing his toe on the rug. "Um, well there is actually," he mumbled to his feet. "I wrote it on the guitar when I was in Holmes Chapel, but I really think it would sound better with a piano. I dunno, maybe it needs to be more upbeat. Do you play?"

Louis smiled at how shy and adorable Harry was being. It was almost as if he was embarrassed to share the song he'd written with Louis, that only made him more intrigued. He tilted Harry's chin up so that he was forced to look at him again, smile still on his face.

"Of course I play. The only thing I can't play is the drums," Louis said. "Why don't you grab a guitar and you can show me, we'll work it out together," He continued, watching as Harry slowly began to smile that smile that he loved so much, his smile. Louis' smile. Harry quickly kissed Louis before he turned and darted out of the room, taking the stairs two at a time to retrieve his guitar from the living room. He made it back down the stairs in record time, guitar in hand and closed the door softly behind him, shutting the world out and letting his world, Louis, engulf him.

.....

It was the end of June and the days were becoming shorter and colder. None of this particularly phased Louis or Harry, having holed themselves up in Louis' studio the majority of the time. Some days were spent writing songs, singing the classics or making up silly songs together. But most days were spent snuggled up together on one of the plush Chesterfield sofas, a fire crackling gently in the fireplace. During these times neither felt the need to speak much, content to simply be next to each other.

It wasn't unusal for them to fall asleep in front of the fire, a soft woollen blanket Jay had made sprawled over them, the fire warming their bodies.

However they'd both decided they'd spent enough time hiding away. Late the night before, as the lay wrapped in each other's arms, Louis had announced that he had a surprise for Harry and that they'd be venturing out into the city the next day. Harry was quite excited at the prospect of exploring Melbourne with Louis, but was also apprehensive at all the attention they'd no doubt get.

He'd considered asking Niall to tell fans to please respect their privacy but decided that if he didn't mention their outing they'd be less likely to draw attention to themselves. He also didn't want to have to deal with his management team either so the less anyone knew the better.

Harry was standing in the kitchen, whisking eggs in a large silver bowl, clad only in tiny yellow shorts. Cooking was one of his favourite things to do and he always made time to cook even when he was touring. He'd cooked almost every meal they'd eaten since he arrived even though at first Jay had objected, saying that he was a guest and he really didn't need to. Harry had been quick to reassure her that it was no trouble and the least he could do, especially with her working such long shifts at the hospital and so now everyone just left him to it without complaint.

He lifted his whisk clad hand, using his forearm to wipe a trail of sweat from his face. It was a cool 11 degrees outside but inside it was like a furnace. Louis had moaned and groaned for weeks about the rapidly cooling weather and how he'd been "freezing" and had repeatedly asked Harry to remind him why his mother had moved them from England to "the bloody arctic."

Harry had found all of this incredibly amusing, watching Louis rug up in layer upon layer of clothes and one day even wrapping himself in a large duvet, the middle covering his head and body with the excess trailing behind him like a cape. 11 degrees was practically a summers day in Doncaster and Harry had reminded Louis of this fact only to be sassed and glared at, only Louis' eyes and nose visible from beneath the duvet, with an accompanying muffled "I'm acclimatised now Harold!"

After three days of this Louis had proceeded to rack the ducted heating up so that he wouldn't "freeze to death" and so Harry had resorted to strolling around the house in either running shorts or his underwear. He'd been a bit uncomfortable parading around the house half naked to begin with, concious that most of the time Jay and Lottie were home. But Jay had been quick to reassure him that it was just as much his home as it was their's and he'd never felt happier. Lottie had simply rolled her eyes at him and muttered something about him being like a brother to her. It also had the added advantage of having prime viewing time of Louis prancing about in tiny football shorts so who was he to complain.

Jay was a wonderful and beautiful woman. She had a stunning smile, kind eyes and was humble and generous. Harry could see so much of her in Louis. She'd welcomed Harry into her home and her life with open arms and much like Louis and Lottie hadn't overreacted or treated him differently because of who he was.

It had made Harry miss his mum terribly at the start, wishing he could spend care free days with her like Louis and Lottie did with Jay without a constant string of over eager fans and equally eager paparazzi. But he also felt like Jay had become his second mother and he loved her all the more for treating him like the second son she never had. He'd even introduced Jay and Anne to each other via FaceTime, declaring that it was only right that his Mum's get to know each other and he'd sworn he saw both of them tear up at his words.

As Harry poured the now whisked eggs into a frying pan on the stove, Jay strolled into the kitchen with a smile and greeted him with a kiss on the cheek. "Good morning love, what's for breakfast today?" she asked while she busied herself making tea, pouring a fresh cup for Harry too.

"Thought I'd make scrambled eggs on toast today, before Lou and I head out. Apparently he has a surprise for me but I'm not allowed to know what it is," Harry replied with a pout.

Jay laughed at his pouty expression, coming to lay a hand on Harry's shoulder. "It smells amazing as always and trust me when I say this, it's worth the wait love I promise you," she said and Harry's eyes went wide as she spoke. "Am I the only one who doesn't know!?" he almost shouted, crossing his arms over his chest. Jay laughed nodding at him, "If we told you what it was it wouldn't be a surprise would it?" she replied taking her tea, placing Harry's on the counter next to him and retreating into the lounge room until breakfast was ready. Harry was now even more frustrated and curious about what Louis had planned and he was determined to find out what it was and soon.

Harry was pulling plates from the cupboard, toast popping out of the toaster as a dishevelled looking Lottie and Niall appeared. Harry was trying hard to hide a smirk at the state of them. Both looked sleep deprived, with their hair sticking out at funny angles and he swore he saw a hickey poking out of the collar of Niall's t-shirt.

Harry and Louis had heard them both stumble home at some ungodly hour this morning. Lottie had gone out with some friends and of course Niall had been more than happy to accompany her, declaring any excuse to party was a good enough excuse for him.

"Have a good night last night?" Harry asked, winking at Niall. Lottie smirked back at him while Niall groaned in response, resting his head on the counter top and covering his hands with his ears. "Jesus Harry there's no need to shout," came his muffled voice from where his face was pressed into the marble. Lottie rubbed at Niall's back sympathetically while Harry simply laughed at the sight of them and continued to plate up the eggs and toast for everyone, leaving the conversation at that.

It wasn't until Niall, Lottie and Jay were sat together at the dining table, eating and chatting amongst themselves, Niall looking decidedly more alive now that their was food in his stomach, that Harry realised Louis was nowhere to be seen. He quickly set Louis' state of the art oven to the warming setting, sliding their plates of eggs and toast in to keep them warm and raced up the stairs to find him.

Harry found Louis lying curled in a ball in bed, the duvet pulled up tightly under his chin, snoring softly into his pillow. Louis wasnt a morning person at the best of times but the day was wearing on and Harry was more than ready to get the day started and find out what his surprise was.

Harry snuck into the room as quietly as he could manage but the click of the door closing behind him had Louis stirring under the covers. Harry quickly sprinted to the end of the bed and ducked down, peeking his eyes and nose over the end of the bed. He watched as Louis stretched his arms above his head, reminding him of a tiny, fluffy kitten and an idea sprang to mind.

With a smirk on his face Harry quickly shuffled under the bottom of the duvet, stealthily creeping his way up the bed until he reached Louis' foot. Pressing his lips to the inside of Louis' ankle trailing kisses up the inside of his leg. He could feel Louis stiffen beneath him, knowing that he was now wide awake when the duvet lifted at the head of the bed and Louis' surprised but still sleepy face appeared.

Reaching his long arms upwards Harry placed both hands on Louis' chest, dragging his nails down his body as he continued kissing up his leg. Louis was already becoming hard under Harry's ministrations and when Harry reached his boxer clad cock he mouthed over it through the thin fabric, a gravelly moan escaping Louis's lips.

"Fuck, Harry -" Louis moaned as he flipped the duvet off of them, exposing himself and Harry and giving himself a better view. Harry dipped his fingers into the waist band of Louis's boxers and slowly peeled them down his thighs, Louis's hard cock springing free.

Slipping them completely off Harry tossed them, not knowing or caring where they landed. Trailing his fingertips lightly up Louis' leg and teasingly skimming past his erection Harry came to lay on top of Louis, pressing his lips hungrily to his.

"Good morning my love," Harry breathed into Louis' ear, kissing down his neck as he went, making his way down to Louis' collar bones, nipping and sucking at the smooth tattooed skin there. It was his favourite part of Louis' body other than the obvious parts and he always took full advantage of them whenever he could.

As he continued downward Louis' mumbled words broke the silence of the room. "Sing our song for me," Harry looked up at him through his long lashes, a smile breaking out across his face. He'd written the song so long ago it felt now, in reality it had only been a few months but it felt like a lifetime ago.

Harry began humming the song Louis loved so much, a reminder of what he and Harry shared. Harry continued to hum as his lips trailed down Louis' body, his voice reverberating through Louis where his lips touched his skin.

Harry stopped humming as he reached his destination, pressing soft, gentle kisses to the head of Louis' hard cock, taking it in his hand slowly, with care.

Louis was gripping tightly to the sheets surrounding him, the combination of Harry's touch and the song he loved driving him wild. He watched as Harry took him in his mouth, his lips parting and slowly taking him in.

Harry's mouth felt warm and slick around his sensitive tip, and he sucked on it gently, running his tongue over Louis' slit and that one place on the underneath of Louis' shaft where he was most sensitive.

"Oh god babe, that feels so good," Louis groaned, all sense of self now abandoned, letting the feel of Harry's mouth around him overtake him. He closed his eyes as Harry continued to lick and suck, pressing soft kisses down his length before taking one of his balls into his mouth, rolling it around on his tongue while he continued to stroke him in a figure eight motion with his hand.

"Fuck -" was all that Louis could manage, a hand finding its way into Harry's hair, tugging on his soft curls. Harry and Louis had done this to each other numerous times, in bed, in the studio, in the shower, but never as a wake up call and Louis suddenly wondered why the hell not?

He felt wide awake, invigorated and his skin tingled in that way that made his toes curl. This was better than any double shot espresso for getting the blood pumping in the morning and in that moment he decided that he'd be making this a regular occurrence, whether he be the giver or receiver.

Harry hadn't stopped, his tongue licking a stripe up the underside of Louis' erection. When his mouth reached the head he rubbed his nose over the tip lightly, staring up at Louis with an innocent smile on his face.

"Don't you look, oh fuck, look so innocent Styles," Louis managed between gasps, Harry's mouth now back around him, his humming returned.

Harry was stroking the base of Louis' cock with his hand, twisting his wrist as he did so, his mouth now back around his length bobbing his head in time to the song as he hummed. A slow and steady rhythm during the verse before picking up speed through the chorus. Louis was thrashing around beneath him, the vibration of Harry's voice, the changing tempo as he sucked and stroked driving him wild. The more Harry continued the tighter Louis' grip on his hair became. It wouldn't be long now before he reached his orgasm and Harry knew exactly how to push him over the edge.

He popped off of Louis loudly and sloppily, still stroking him frantically, leaning down on top of him and kissing Louis with a fierce passion. "Oh fuck Harry, I'm close, make me come baby, please," Louis whined.

Harry pressed his lips firmly to Louis' again before singing softly into his ear, _"so tell me you believe in love, cause it's not and illusion to me.."_

Louis came hard into Harry's hand, his hand big enough to catch everything Louis gave. Harry released his grip on Louis, bringing his hand up to his mouth, cleaning up the mess Louis had left there with his tongue, Louis' eyes almost popping out of his skull as he watched him.

"Well good morning to you too," Louis breathed. Harry smiled back at him, that special smile Louis knew he never showed to anyone else. "What's the occasion?" Louis asked, not that he was complaining.

"I just wanted to surprise you," Harry said, brushing Louis' sweaty hair back from his face. "And now that you've had your surprise, get that delectable ass out of bed so I can have mine," and with a laugh and a swift kiss, Louis and Harry scrambled out of bed, Louis quickly shoving on boxers and shorts he'd discarded last night, chasing after each other and the day awaiting them.

 

 

 

 

 


	13. Reunions, Elevators and Treasured Moments

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis plans a surprise for Harry. The gang reunites and Louis and Harry share a tender moment among the clouds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to Chloe for helping me stay on track and volunteering to beta my fic for me. Love you xx
> 
> During this chapter Louis and Dea speak Romanian. Translations below. 
> 
> Mi-a fost dor de tine: I missed you 
> 
> Si mie mi-a fost dor de tine: I missed you too 
> 
> Te iubesc: I love you 
> 
> Si eu te iubesc: I love you too

It was past noon when Louis, Harry, Niall and Lottie finally left the house, Harry dragging Louis along behind him as his long legs carried him swiftly up the street. He'd spent the last hour sulking around the house yelling at the others to get a move on as they slowly assembled themselves. 

 

Of course, Harry had been ready hours ago and he'd grown impatient waiting for the other three, far too excited about the surprise that Louis had planned for him. The air was cold as it blew in from the bay, howling up the streets around them and their thick jackets, warm scarves and beanies were doing little to ward off its sharp sting. 

 

Harry had chosen to wear Louis’ bright orange beanie for their outing, claiming it was his favourite, throwing on square shaped dark sunglasses to complete his look. Louis had given him a knowing look, Lottie and Niall looking on with horrified expressions at his outlandish choice of headwear. After a few ‘oompa loompa’ remarks and the poking of tongues like the mature adults they were, they'd finally decided to make a start. 

 

It wasn't until Harry reached the end of the street, Louis jogging along at his side, that he realised he didn't have the slightest idea in which direction he should be heading. Louis laughed as he realised why Harry had come to a sudden stop and guided him up a street to their right, now walking at a normal pace hand in hand, Lottie and Niall walking arm in arm behind them. 

 

Louis was happy to note that despite the fact it was cold, the weather was perfect and he knew that it couldn't have turned out better for what he had planned. He'd wanted to show Harry around the city, let him take in all the sights and sounds that were so synonymous with it but wasn't sure how he was supposed to do that without attracting the unwanted attention of the paparazzi and subsequent fans. They were honestly better than the FBI when it came to tracking Harry and Louis’ movements, and he wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing. At least Louis knew if anything untoward ever happened to them, it wouldn't be long before someone noticed their absence. 

 

So, with screaming fans and paparazzi in mind, he'd searched and searched and searched for something he could do for Harry that would be special, something that they could share together and with their friends that Harry would never forget and finally, after weeks of searching, the idea had finally hit him. Louis had silently berated himself for not thinking of it sooner, but it was perfect and had become the top priority on his to-do list. 

 

Louis had decided, whilst planning Harry's surprise, that the best way to fully immerse him into Melbournian culture would be to give him the full experience. So instead of taking his car and paying exuberant parking fees when they got there, he'd decided that they'd all take the train instead. Harry, of course, was over the moon to hear this, especially at the prospect of getting his very own Myki Card. 

 

Louis assured him that a small, grey, rectangular card was nothing to write home about but to Harry, it meant the world. It meant that, for at least that moment, he was just Harry and not ‘The Harry Styles’. Just a normal guy in his 20s, taking the train into the city with his amazing boyfriend and wonderful friends to enjoy the day together.

 

Harry loved the normalcy of it all, that he wasn't being shadowed by bulky security guards, not that Tay hadn't insisted he take at least one member of his security team, or hounded by his PR team to be mindful of what he wore, where he went and who he spoke to. He honestly didn't know if any words or actions would ever be enough to show Louis just how grateful he was. It was also very special to Harry as this would be their first official outing as a couple, neither of them having wanted to venture out before now, preferring the privacy of Harry's hotel suite or Louis’ home. 

 

When the group arrived at the train station, Harry insisted on getting his picture taken in front of the bright red ‘To The Beach’ sign that stood proudly in front of the station's entrance, even persuading Louis and then Niall and Lottie to join him. 

 

“Babe, you know I live here right? Why do I need to have my picture taken in front of the beach sign?” Louis grumbled as he reluctantly slid his arm around Harry's waist. Harry kissed him swiftly on the head. 

 

“Because, my love, this is my day and my surprise and because you love me,” Harry replied. Louis couldn't argue with that and smiled, eyes crinkling as he looked up at Harry, Harry's dimpled smile on full display as he looked towards Lottie who quickly snapped a picture of them. 

 

Louis took the opportunity to sneak in a quick cigarette while Harry and Niall made a pit stop at the 7/11 across the street for some snacks and drinks. This earned Louis a pouting glare from Harry when he returned. Louis suspected that Harry secretly loved it when he smoked, he'd seen Harry watching him when he thought he hadn't been looking on a few occasions. That primal look Louis loved so much had flashed across his eyes, his lip coming between his teeth as he stared longingly at Louis, watching as he blew the smoke from his lungs in a long, steady stream. Not long after that, they'd had some of the best sex they'd ever had and Louis was convinced his bad habit had played a part in that. 

 

Now, however, Harry was maintaining a cool exterior of disgust as Louis stubbed out the remainder of his cigarette and winked at Harry, causing his cheeks to flush an even brighter red than they already were. “Right gang, let's get this shit show on the road,” Louis announced, clapping his gloved hands together. 

 

“Speak for yourself Tommo, you might be a perpetual hot mess but I, for one, am not,” Niall said through a laugh, pretending to throw long locks of hair over his shoulder, giggles from the others following. 

 

“Yeah yeah, just you keep telling yourself that mate,” Louis said, patting Niall on the shoulder. “Anyway as I was saying before I was so  _ rudely  _ interrupted,” he continued, “has everyone got Myki cards? Everyone got enough money on them?” Niall and Lottie nodded at him. “Right then, come on young Harold. Let's get you sorted out,” Louis said, offering Harry his arm and they walked arm in arm into the station and up to the desk to get Harry his Myki Card. 

 

….. 

 

Harry still had his Myki Card in his hands, turning it over and over, smiling down at it. He'd refused to put it away after he'd used it to pay his fare and gain entry to the platform and Louis didn't have the heart to tell him otherwise. The way Harry's eyes lit up and the idiotic grin that hadn't left his face made Louis’ heart swell and if something so simple made Harry happy then he was all for it. 

 

They were half way into their train ride, the four of them talking and laughing amongst themselves, the drinks and snacks they'd bought now consumed. Harry and Niall were singing terrible renditions of songs even though both of them were more than capable of holding a tune and surprisingly, they hadn't been stopped by any fans yet. There were no less than inconspicuous phones pointed in their direction or gaggles of girls excitedly whispering between themselves and Louis silently thanked whoever was listening for how perfectly the day had gone so far. 

 

He wanted today to be perfect for Harry. He wanted to watch as his face lit up with childlike wonder and Louis wanted to be the reason behind it. He wanted to make Harry happy always and he wanted to treat him at every opportunity and show him how much joy Harry brought to his life by bringing as much joy as he could to Harry's. Louis was painfully aware that his boyfriend was a multimillion dollar mega star and he often wondered if anything he ever did for Harry would top the rush he felt stepping out on stage to an arena full of adoring fans. 

 

He hadn't had the nerve to talk to Harry about this. He tried to push his doubts and insecurities to the back of his mind and focus on the fact that they loved each other. The fact that Harry had, on numerous occasions, made it known that nothing was more important to him than Louis, not even his career, only went a little way to calming Louis’ fears. 

 

Louis smiled to himself, the thought chasing away any doubt he'd previously had about what Harry would think of his surprise. He rested his head against Harry's shoulder, Harry's long arm coming to rest comfortably around his waist as Louis watched the scenery of the passing towns fly by him. It was moments like these Louis treasured most with Harry. Being together, enjoying simple things, ‘normal’ things. Things that everyday people took for granted and he felt so happy that he could give these experiences to Harry. 

 

Louis was eager to get to the city and finally tell Harry what his surprise was. It would be a first for Louis too. Something he'd never done even though he'd lived an hour from Melbourne since he was 11 years old. If he was perfectly honest, he was petrified and that reason alone had stopped him from biting the bullet. But he was glad he hadn't done it before, making this another first he got to have with Harry and he was more than willing to push all of his fears aside to be able experience this with him. 

 

What Harry also didn't know was that Liam, Zayn, Dea and Caroline would be joining them. The eight of them had become a tight knit group despite the fact that Harry had gone on ‘hiatus’ and Liam had been travelling around the country touring with Zayn. They hadn’t been together as a group since the night of Harry's end of tour party, but they had, however, spent countless hours on their group chat, keeping each other updated on their day to day lives, sending pictures and videos and silly gifs, so it didn't really feel as though they'd spent months apart. 

 

Louis had become especially close to Dea. She'd quickly become like a sister to him, inviting him over for dinner with her and Caroline on a few occasions, having girly slumber parties and letting him cry when missing Harry had become too much for him to handle. He hadn't seen her since Harry had been back and he was excited to see his best friend again. He'd missed her but she understood that their lack of contact hadn't been intentional and that he and Harry had simply been monopolising their time together as much as possible.

 

Louis couldn't believe this was his life now. Only three months ago he'd been a recluse,hiding himself away in his studio for days at a time, only venturing out to eat or shower. Now he had an amazing boyfriend, ‘The Harry Styles’ no less, and an amazing group of friends. He had started writing music again, he was excited for the future and for once, it didn't seem so bleak. 

 

Louis was suddenly overcome with emotion as he peered up through his eyelashes at Harry. When he'd fought the masses to buy tickets to Harry's show a lifetime ago, he could never have imagined this would be his life. Louis didn't know how he would ever be able to thank Harry for changing his life. For encouraging him to pursue his career, for helping him to let go of the pain that Ben had caused, for showing him a life he'd been all too happy to let pass him by and for showering him in love and devotion and  showing him what true love felt like. 

 

He studied the way Harry's striking jaw moved as he spoke, the way his face lit up as he laughed and Louis knew that in that moment his life had never been more perfect. “I love you,” he said softly so that only Harry could hear him. Harry turned his head slightly so that he was looking down at Louis, his stunning green eyes reflecting all the love that Louis felt back at him. And there it was, that smile that Louis wished he could bottle and keep with him always. “I love you too, Lou,” Harry whispered and pressed a tender kiss to Louis’ lips. Louis nuzzled back into Harry's shoulder, Harry's grip on him tightening and Louis knew that in that moment there was nowhere he'd rather be. 

 

…… 

 

Louis had arranged to meet up with Liam, Zayn, Dea and Caroline at the clock steps at Flinders Street Station. It almost felt in a way that they had come full circle, gathering together again at the same place that Louis had met Liam and Zayn for the very first time. Louis was a sentimental sap when he wanted to be and today was proving to be more emotional than he'd anticipated. Despite the fact that he felt that he may burst into tears at a moments notice, Louis had never felt so happy in his life. 

 

As they exited the station, Louis was momentarily blinded by the sun, his eyes taking a second to adjust. It was then that he heard a high pitched squeal and before he could brace himself, Dea had scrambled up the steps and thrown herself at him. Louis caught her but stumbled backwards, not having had time to prepare himself to catch her and thankfully Harry had been walking along behind him, Louis’ back crashing into Harry's hard chest, Harry's long arms wrapping around the pair to steady them. 

 

“Lou, mi-a fost dor de tine,” Dea breathed into his ear. Louis had spent many an hour glued to his phone, attempting to learn a few key phrases in Romanian after learning Dea loved it when he spoke her language. 

 

“Si mie mi-a fost dor de tine,” he whispered back before Dea finally released him and he set her down on her feet. “I see you still haven't lost your Maldavian accent,” she said through a laugh, Louis rolling his eyes at her. “Yeah, well, I think I go alright for a lad from Donny,” he said, hurrying to defend himself. She held his hands tightly, looking him up and down, a relieved smile on her face. He knew she was happy for him, happy that Harry was finally home and back in his arms where he belonged. She didn't have to say it but he knew she was. “Te iubesc,” she said, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “Si eu te iubesc, ” Louis replied, hugging her tightly again. 

 

Harry was still standing behind Louis, Louis’ back still pressed into his chest. He smiled fondly down at the pair in front of him and was glad that Louis had found a friend who cared for him as much as Dea did. She'd been such a great support to Louis while he'd been gone and he made a mental note to thank her later for taking care of him. It was also more than a little bit of a turn on hearing Louis speaking a language that wasn’t his own. Harry swallowed hard, trying to contain himself before he spoke. 

 

“Sorry to interrupt but should we get going?” Harry said quietly to the two of them, not wanting to break up the sweet moment between them but knowing he had to. 

 

Louis looked over his shoulder at Harry sheepishly. “Sorry babe, umm, surprise?” he said, more of a question than a statement. Harry continued to look on fondly at Louis, only realising what he had meant when Caroline, Liam and Zayn materialised beside them, along with Niall and Lottie. Harry's smile grew bigger, his dimples deepening as his smile split his face. “Look! All the gang’s together,” Harry said excitedly. Louis stared at him in stunned silence, Harry winking at him, knowing exactly what those few simple words would do to Louis, the others not realising what Harry had done. 

 

Everyone took a moment to hug Harry, welcoming him back and expressing their well wishes. As they set off, everyone holding hands or linking arms, Louis spoke softly to Harry as he led him along the busy streets of Melbourne, surrounded by their nearest and dearest friends. “Did you just quote my all time favourite movie?”

 

Harry smiled at Louis, his eyes hidden behind his dark glasses, soft curls peeking out from underneath his beanie. “Maybe,” Harry replied with a smirk and Louis teasingly swatted at his arm with his hand. “You know exactly what it does to me when you act all cutesy boyfriend Styles, so don't try and act so innocent.”

 

Harry laughed then, a booming noise he obviously hadn't intended to be so loud as his hand flew quickly up to his mouth, as if attempting to push the offending noise back where it came from. 

 

Louis could only look on in fond silence, an idiotic grin now permanently fixed to his face. Harry looked like a model, fresh from the runway, the soft winter sunlight casting a halo around him as it reflected from the surface of the Yarra River beside them. How had he been so lucky as to call Harry his? Harry was dressed in sinfully tight black jeans, his signature black Chelsea boots adorning his feet. He'd paired this with a chunky, cream cable knit sweater, a knee length navy coloured coat with cream detailing on the sleeves and Louis’ ridiculous orange beanie. But somehow, Harry made it work. He made it look effortless. He looked as though he fit right in here and that he would be at home in an upmarket hipster coffee shop, ordering a tall, soy, chai latte and deconstructed avocado on toast like that was the most normal thing in the world. 

 

Louis, however, felt like a semi starving uni student walking along next to his statuesque boyfriend. But when Harry looked at him the way he was now, his glasses now resting atop his beanie clad head, with such tender yet fierce love in his eyes, Louis could care less what he thought of himself. So long as that look always remained in Harry's eyes when they were directed at him, he'd be happy, he'd be loved. 

 

“So, are you ever going to tell me what my surprise is Lou? Or are you just planning to wait till I die from excitement?” Harry asked, nudging Louis playfully with his elbow. 

 

“You'll find out soon enough my love, although you can actually see your surprise from here, if you know what you're looking for.” Louis teased with a smirk, which sent Harry into a tizzy. 

 

Harry was turning his head frantically from side to side, looking up and down the sluggish river beneath them, scanning the towering buildings in front of them trying to find a clue as to what his surprise could possibly be. Louis could see it, standing tall in all its glory before them. He, of course, knew where they were headed and what he was looking for but he doubted that Harry knew anything about what it was they were about to do. If he'd done any type of research on the top ten things to to or see in Melbourne, he'd have spotted it immediately. And yet he was still searching. 

 

The group stopped halfway along the pedestrian footbridge that would lead them from one side of the river over to Southbank on the other. They gathered along the railing, all smiling happily as a passer-by snapped some pictures for them. Coming to the other side, they walked through Riverside Quay shopping and dining complex and Louis brought them all to a stop a few buildings from their final destination. 

 

“Right gang, we're almost there -”

“Finally!” Harry exclaimed, cutting Louis off mid sentence. Rumbling laughter from the group followed Harry's outburst and Louis simply glared at him, continuing on with his little speech. 

“Yes, thank you for that, Harold. Anyway, we're almost there and seeing as it's almost 2.30pm now, I'm thinking we should go do this then find a restaurant or something on the way back to grab some early dinner. I don't think eating anything heavy is a great idea before we do this.” They all nodded their agreement, everyone but Harry knowing what they were about to do. Harry had his arms folded over his chest, pouting as his suspicion that he was last to know was confirmed, but Louis noted Zayn looked terrified and had an almost green tinge to his skin. 

 

“Zayn, you alright lad?” Louis asked, his brows knitting together with concern for his friend. 

 

“Oh yeah, fucking dandy,” Zayn spat, not even trying to hide the sarcasm dripping from his mouth. Louis’ hand shot to his mouth, covering it in shock as he realised why Zayn looked the way he did. 

 

“You're, you're not -” Louis said, cutting off mid sentence not wanting to spoil this for Harry when they were so close. 

 

“Oh but I am, absolutely fucking petrified,” Zayn said with wobbly lips, and Liam brought an arm around his shoulders to comfort him. 

 

“Oh Z I'm so sorry, I didn't know.”

 

“I know you didn't, I told Liam not to tell you because I know how much all of us being here and doing this together means to you and to Harry. It'll be nice for all of us to have our first time together. Don't worry about me. Just, let's get going and do this so it can be over with.” Louis felt his chest tighten at the thought that his friend was terrified of what they were about to do and yet was prepared to cast his fears aside for Louis and Harry's happiness. Louis fought to hold onto the tears shining in his eyes and smiled ruefully back at Zayn. 

 

“How about a quick smoke to calm the nerves?” Louis asked, offering Zayn a cigarette from his packet which he took with trembling fingers and a shaky smile. 

 

“Thanks Lou,” was all he said. Louis was feeling just as terrified if he was being honest. Terrified of what he was about to do but more so of Harry's reaction. What if he didn't like it? What if this had been the completely wrong thing to do?

 

All manner of thoughts rushed through Louis’ mind, he sat in silence, perched on a low wall next to Zayn. But it was when he peered over towards Harry, his head thrown back in laughter at something Caroline had said, his arms coming around to hug her tightly to him and the grin that Louis loved splitting his handsome face, that he knew that Harry was already having the time of his life and Louis was giving him a gift that was invaluable. With a smile, Louis stubbed out his cigarette, heading over to Harry and wrapping him up in his arms, pressing his lips softly to Harry's. When they pulled apart after a few seconds, he spoke. 

 

“Let's do this.”

 

….. 

 

“No fucking way!” Harry exclaimed, spinning around to face Louis when they'd finally arrived. Without warning, Harry unceremoniously grabbed Louis up into a bear hug, spinning him around, pressing kisses to every inch of Louis’ face that his lips could reach. 

 

“Yes fooking way,” Louis breathed out through a laugh, using the enormous sign beside him to hold himself up on his now wobbly legs. 

 

“Louis, we are at The Eureka Skydeck! Are you serious right now!?” Harry continued in much too loud a voice for such a densely populated public space. Up until this point, not one person had recognised Harry. Not one person had approached them or done a double take. And as much as Louis was overcome with joy at Harry's reaction he didn't want their afternoon to be tainted with having to fend off the masses, especially without security. 

 

Louis grabbed both of Harry's hands, attempting to calm his boyfriend who was now bouncing up and down on the spot, like a small child who'd been told to have at it in a sweet shop. 

 

“My love,” Louis spoke in the most serious tone he could manage, his voice still tinged with a hint of laughter, Harry showing no signs of slowing down any time soon. “I'm so glad that you're excited, I'm beyond thrilled that you love your surprise but please, you need to calm down love. You're starting to draw attention to yourself and as much as I love your fans,  _ our  _ fans, I would much rather not have to spend the rest of the afternoon holed up in a stuffy board room, waiting for security to come and rescue us.”

 

Harry suddenly looked horrified at his wayward behaviour. He removed his hands from Louis’ grip on them, smoothing out his jacket and regaining a semblance of decorum. “God you're right Lou, I'm sorry. Decorum Styles, decorum,” he said, berating himself. The rest of the group hid their sniggers behind their hands and in each other's shoulders, knowing full well that this was the Harry only they got to see, the Harry they all loved and admired for the way he still viewed the world around him with childlike wonder, but Louis was right. 

 

“No need to apologise love. I just want this to be special for you, for all of us.” Louis said, leaning up and pressing his thin lips to Harry's fuller, softer pink ones. They kissed for a moment before pulling apart, lacing their fingers together. “Right, pictures with the sign for prosperity, gang, and then it's showtime,” Louis announced and without any further ado, the group swiftly assembled in front of the large yellow letters reading ‘Eureka Skydeck’. 

 

After a few too many photos and a small argument at the ticket courter about who was paying for who and how many of them were brave enough to do ‘The Edge Experience’, the eight of them were finally wandering their way through the darkened lobby towards the bank of elevators that would take them skyward. 

 

As they walked through the lobby, small screens were placed sporadically on the walls, projecting small clips of major landmarks that could be viewed from the Skydeck. After stopping to view a few and deciding which landmarks they were most eager to see, they finally arrived at the elevators. 

 

Harry was grasping Louis’ hand tightly as they waited for their elevator to arrive, beginning to bounce again. When purchasing their tickets, they'd been told they may have to wait a short time for an elevator to travel together, but the group hadn't minded. The young man at the ticket counter had recognised Harry, blushing furiously after Harry had caught him staring. He'd managed to remain very professional and assured Louis and Harry that they would not be bothered, after Louis raised his concerns about Harry's lack of security in such a public setting. He had reassured them once again and informed them should they be bothered at all during their time here to simply alert a member of staff immediately. Harry had generously signed a scrap of paper for the young man, thanking him for his help and discretion, and now Louis didn't feel the need to stop Harry from being himself, his fear of their afternoon being ruined abated. 

 

A small bell sounded as an elevator arrived, the doors sliding open to let the windswept yet happy looking tourists inside disembark. A tall brunette woman with a welcoming smile ushered them forwards as the last of the previous occupants filed out.

 

“Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Eureka Skydeck,” she announced as she scribbled on each of their tickets. She handed everyone back their ticket except for Liam and Zayn and they all shuffled in. “You'll need to keep a hold of your tickets and show them to the staff member when you are ready for your Edge Experience. When you are ready, press the button for the 88th floor and enjoy.”

 

“Thank you very much,” Harry said excitedly and before the poor woman had even cleared the doors, Harry was jabbing at the button for the 88th floor. “Ready or not, here we come!” he announced and the group laughed once more. There was never a dull moment when Harry Styles was around. 

 

The elevator slowly rumbled to life, an LED panel above the buttons indicating what floor they were on. By the time they'd reached floor 2 a happy, cheerful man's voice sounded out around them. 

 

**_“Welcome to Eureka 88. You are now travelling skywards at 9 meters per second. This lift will take 38 seconds to reach the 88th floor, that's over 35 kilometres per hour.”_ **

 

Louis stopped watching the numbers tick by to observe everyone's faces. The numbers continued to climb rapidly on the panel beside them and the voice continued its monologue. Louis fought hard to stifle his laughter as every emotion possible was displayed on the rest of the group's faces. Zayn looked as though he was about to vomit, Harry exuded pure glee and the rest of the group was a hysterical mixture of somewhere in between. 

 

**_“The Skydeck is the Southern Hemisphere's highest viewing platform. The top 10 floors are 24 carat gold plated and the height of the Eureka Tower is 285 meters, that's the same as 20 of Melbourne's trams stacked on top of each other. Did you feel it sway a little? That's normal. The Eureka Tower can sway up to 30 centimetres in each direction.”_ **

 

At this unwanted titbit of information, Zayn made an ungodly noise, clutching onto Liam for dear life. 

 

**_“We're nearly there! Enjoy the view and listen out for the sounds of Melbourne around you. Welcome to Eureka Skydeck.”_ **

 

As the panel indicated the 88th floor an electronic voice announced their arrival. 

 

**_“88th Floor.”_ **

 

It was as though the group took a collective breath in as the doors slowly began to slide open. Everyone's held breath rushed out at once when the short darkened corridor was revealed to them, a blinding light all that could be seen at the end. 

 

Harry bent his head and placed a kiss to Louis’ cheek. “You ready babe?” he asked in a low voice, squeezing Louis’  hand gently. 

 

“Not really Haz, I'm fucking terrified. But it's your day and we're all here for you so lead the way.”

 

“Wait, you're afraid of heights?” Harry asked in astonishment. “Lou we're at the highest viewing platform in the southern hemisphere and now you tell me you're afraid of heights. Why would you do this? Why would you put yourself through this if you're so afraid?” 

 

They'd begun walking up the corridor as they talked, the group following along behind them, happy to let Harry take the lead. Louis led them along, his small hand clasped in Harry's much larger one. Louis glanced ahead of them every few seconds, Harry's eyes trained on him, never wavering. 

 

“Because I love you Harry, because I'd do anything for you even if it made me uncomfortable or caused me to feel things that may not necessarily be the most pleasant. And because of that,” Louis said, pointing ahead of him, now standing a few meters from the bank of windows in front of them. 

 

Niall appeared in front of them then, iPhone once more in hand, no doubt recording Harry's reaction to the sight laid out in front of him. Harry's eyes were the widest Louis thought he'd ever seen them and his mouth was hanging open. He stepped forward, dragging Louis along with him to get them both closer to the windows. Louis could feel the building sway slightly, just as the chipper voice from the elevator had promised and he gripped tightly onto Harry's hand. 

 

His heart was racing, it felt as though it was beating right out of his chest, his breathing laboured and a thin sheen of sweat was coating his brow. As they reached the edge of the floor where it met the windows, Louis’ grip on Harry's hand only tightened. 

 

“Lou, baby, are you ok?” Harry asked. His brows were knitted together with worry, his eyes searching Louis’ face. 

 

“Yeah Haz, I'm fine, I'm fine.” Louis took a few deep steadying breaths, his head feeling fuzzy. He realised then that Harry looked a little pained, as well as happy and concerned, and he quickly released the grip on Harry's fingers. 

 

“You're not fine, Louis, look at you. You're sweating and shaking and you look like you've seen a ghost. Why did you agree to this? And we've paid for The Edge. There's no way, we're not doing it.” Harry protested. 

 

“Yes we bloody well are Harry. Because this is about you. It's not about me. I'll be fine, I just need a minute. This is the only way I'm going to be able to show you around the city without being constantly mobbed so we're staying, we're doing the bloody Edge and that's final. I'm not letting some silly irrational fear of falling stop us from having a good time.”

 

“You're afraid of falling?” is all Harry could think to say. Almost 300 meters up in a tower that swayed, Louis’ fear was no laughing matter.

 

“Yes, I'm afraid of falling. I can't even walk near the railing at the top food court in the shopping centre or near the edge of the walkway from the car park to the terminal at the airport.” Harry rubbed his hands up and down Louis’ arms gently. He didn't know how to feel about Louis being genuinely terrified at the prospect of falling, yet agreeing to do this for him anyway. Louis was putting himself through all of this for him.

 

“I love you for doing this for me. I can see how genuinely afraid you are and yet you're forcing yourself to do this anyway.” Harry wrapped Louis up in his arms, Louis burying his nose into the crook of Harry's neck, breathing in his familiar scent, his fear easing slightly. 

 

“I love you too,” Louis breathed, his voice muffled by Harry's skin. Harry bent his head then, his cheek resting against the top of Louis’ head and spoke softly into his ear. 

 

“You don't have to be afraid Lou, not of falling, not of anything. So long as I'm here, so long as we are together you will never have to be afraid of anything again. I'll always protect you Lou and I'll never let you fall.”

…..

 

They'd spent the last few hours meandering around the Skydeck. It had taken a few moments for Louis to collect himself after Harry's emotional outburst, sniffing back tears at Harry's words of love. It had taken twice that long for Louis to convince Harry that he still wanted to do this and still wanted to be here and they'd finally set off to explore. 

 

The gang had dispersed after all gathering to watch Harry's reaction and as they walked around, they saw each other enjoying the view, braving the outdoor viewing platform and enjoying a coffee at the Cafe. 

 

Harry had purchased a latte for both of them at the cafe to sip on as they strolled around, taking in everything that the Skydeck had to offer. It was an assault on the senses. Wherever they went, there was something to see, hear or experience. The led strips in the flooring lit different colours, pointing them in the direction of major landmarks around the city. As they passed them, motion activated sound clips played, the sound of an F1 Race Car from Albert Park being a particular favourite of Louis’. 

 

They took some selfies and pictures in front of the west facing windows, the full view of Port Phillip Bay spread out behind them. Harry was fascinated by the ceiling. It was programmed to look like the sky outside which changed every few minutes, the thunderstorm scene Harry's ultimate favourite.

 

Louis had pointed out Hisense Arena to Harry, his face turning red with embarrassment. Louis had been quick to reassure Harry that his success was nothing to be ashamed of. 

 

“Babe, why are you embarrassed?” Louis asked. 

 

“I don't know Lou, it just feels so surreal to see the arena from up here. To know that only a few months ago, ten thousand people were in there just to see me, to hear me sing and perform. I know I've been doing this for a few years now, but I don't think I'll ever get used to this. I don't think it'll ever truly sink in that this is my life.”

 

“It might be ten thousand people today love, but I have faith that one day, you could sell out shows three, four, even eight times that big. And I'll be right there with you, every single step of the way. You know I will.” 

 

Louis still remembered how he'd felt, the overwhelming feeling of love and pride he’d had the first time he'd watched Harry perform. He'd loved him from that moment onwards and he'd continue loving him just as fiercely until he was physically incapable of doing so. 

 

“You really think so Lou? You really think I could do that?” 

 

“I know so,” Louis replied and placed a tender kiss to Harry's lips. “I can still remember how proud I felt, how much love I felt, the moment you appeared on that stage. I think I've loved you from that moment, Harry. I don't think I'll ever forget how that made me feel.”

 

Harry hugged Louis tightly to him then, Louis wrapping his arms around Harry's waist, lacing his fingers together at the small of his back. 

 

“I've loved you from the moment I met you, Lou,” Harry whispered, his strong arms tightening their grip on Louis. “Please don't ever forget that.”

 

They shared another tender moment together, lost in the warmth and security of each other's arms before they both realised they were in public and probably shouldn't be indulging in such public displays of affection. 

 

“Come on Haz, let's do this before I change my mind,” Louis said then, grabbing a hold of Harry's wrist and marching them both in the direction of The Edge Experience before he lost his cool. 

 

Once there, they showed the staff member their tickets, Louis asking if he could keep them and they received a special pair of paper booties each. The staff member told them it was to protect the glass from being scratched by their shoes and Harry volunteered to take his boots off at that, placing the booties over his socks anyway. 

 

Louis felt like he looked like a proper idiot with the dark blue paper booties on his feet, Harry's snorting laughter doing nothing to assuage his suspicions. Harry, of course, continued to look as though he had a five o'clock photo shoot to get to. 

 

When they were ready and Harry had tried his best to reassure Louis that he was right there with him, that he'd never let him fall, they made their way into the glass cube that would take them out over the city below them. 

 

“Alright gents, now up here is a speaker, I'll be able to hear you and speak to you through this,” the staff member began, pointing at various different areas within the glass cube. “There's also a monitor here and the camera that I can see you through so if at any time it becomes too much for either of you, just let me know and I'll bring you back in. I'll also give you warning before we take the picture. Any questions before we get started?”

 

Louis shook his head, afraid that if he dared speak a word, he would vomit. Harry followed suit and the staff member gave them a small reassuring smile as he exited the cube, leaving Harry and Louis alone. 

 

Louis had a death grip on Harry's arm, only too aware that this was supposed to be Harry's surprise, Harry's experience and yet he felt that he was ruining it for him. He tried to take deep steadying breaths, telling himself he was being irrational, that there was no way he was going to fall to a grizzly death. He tried in vain to convince himself that he could do this, if not for himself then for Harry, but his brain and irrational fear were having none of it. 

 

At present the walls, ceiling and floor of the cube were a misty blue colour. Louis couldn't even see out of the cube, but as it began to move, his heart began to race and an unattractive squeak escaped him. He was terrified.

 

Harry, as always, could sense his fear. Moving out of Louis’ hold, he stepped behind him, turning him to face away from the camera, pushing his chest as close to Louis’ back as it would go and wrapped his arms tightly around him. To anyone watching, it would simply appear that the two men were sharing a fond embrace, Harry not wanting Louis to be any more embarrassed by his fear than necessary. 

 

“Close your eyes baby, I'm right here, I won't let you fall,” Harry whispered softly into Louis’ ear, aware that the staff member could still hear them. “I'm so proud of you for doing this for me. I'm so grateful that I have such an amazing, loving boyfriend. One who will put himself in such a difficult position just to ensure my happiness.” Harry continued to speak words of love and praise into Louis’ ear, his breathing soon becoming more even, the shaking Harry had felt now gone. 

 

Harry was continuing to look over Louis’ shoulder as he spoke and as the cube slowed to a stop, the glass cleared and he felt like he was flying. Here he was, suspended high above the city below them, the crisp blue of the sky filling every space, the winter sun warming them through the glass. And he was with the man he loved. The one person in the world that meant more to him than anyone had ever meant to him before. 

 

Harry's eyes stung with unshed tears. He tried to blink them away, unwilling to let go of Louis. His tears began to fall freely, unable to stop them as the gravity of all that Louis had done for him, all the love he'd shown him and the sacrifices he'd made for him hit him. 

 

“Open your eyes baby, fly with me,” Harry managed to choke out on a watery whisper. Harry heard Louis gasp, a clear indication that he'd opened his eyes and was staring out at the magnificent sight before them. 

 

The city sparkled like diamonds, the sunlight glancing off of the windows of the skyscrapers and buildings surrounding them. It felt as though the world was laid out bare for them, that they were experiencing something sacred, something to be treasured and revered.

 

“Harry…” was all that Louis could manage. Harry knew what he was trying to say, he felt it too and he knew that until now, he'd never experienced anything more beautiful and more pure in his life. That this moment in time would be forever tattooed on his heart. 

 

“I'd give up everything Louis, the fame and the money and my career. I'd give it all up if you asked me to. If sharing moments like this with you is what our life together will be like, then I  know in my heart I'll never need anything else.”

 

At that, the staff member announced that it was time to take their picture, to preserve this moment forever in vivid colour. Harry turned Louis around in his arms, positioning them so that they were standing face to face, angled to where the staff member had indicated the camera was. As the voice over the tannoy counted to three, Harry brought his hands up to Louis’ cheeks, both of their faces damp from tears that were still streaming silently down their faces. The beep sounded as Harry brought his lips to Louis’ and he prayed in that moment that Louis knew just how much Harry loved him. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	14. Adventures, Hickeys And Occasional Chairs.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis takes Harry exploring. Old friendships are rekindled, Louis loses a fight to a big mosquito and unsuspecting occasional chairs prove useful.

Louis couldn't help the tears of joy that welled in his eyes, or the lump that formed in his throat whenever he caught a glimpse of the photo. Louis still remembered the stunned expression on the staff members face as he'd handed it over to Harry with shaking hands, words tumbling out of his mouth in utter disbelief. He'd told them both that in all the years he'd worked at Eureka Tower, taking countless photos every single day, he'd never captured one quite like the one he had taken of Harry and Louis. 

 

It sat pride of place, on what was now Harry's bedside table, edged in an intricate silver frame that only enhanced the beauty of the photograph. Louis liked to sit and admire it as he waited for Harry to finish showering on the nights they didn't share one, or as he dressed, or for just about any reason really.

 

As Louis looked at it now, pulling his mismatched socks and battered Vans onto his feet, even he couldn't believe just how perfect it was. There was nothing particularly special about the way he or Harry had been standing, facing each other, bodies angled towards the camera, or the fact that they were kissing tenderly, or even that both of them were crying. It was the blinding flash of sunlight behind them that had been captured by the camera that had made it truly special, the way it fanned out on either side of them, creating the illusion that neither Harry nor Louis were in the glass cube at all, but simply floating on air, bathed in an ethereal glow. That was what made it so special. 

 

“I don't think I'll ever get sick of looking at that,” came Harry's voice from the entry of the walk in closet. Louis stood, turning to face him, now ready for their latest adventure. 

 

“No, I don't think I ever will either,” Louis said, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his skinny jeans, now focusing his attention on Harry, watching as his long fingers worked at the buttons of yet another gaudy shirt.

 

“Flamingos look good on you,” Louis said with a smile. He wasn't lying. The shirt actually did look good on him, despite the fact that if anyone else were to wear a black button up plastered with pink flamingos, they'd look like a middle aged man at a Luau. 

 

Harry flashed him a shy smile, his cheeks flushing pink at Louis’ words. Despite the confidence he exuded on stage to his legion of adoring fans, he was reduced to his shy, stuttering, sixteen year old self whenever he was alone with Louis. And he had to admit, he kind of liked it, the way that Louis could make his heart race, his skin tingle and his knees weak simply by looking at him or offering sincere praise. 

 

“Are you sure it looks OK?” Harry asked nervously, his hands still working unsteadily at the tiny black buttons. 

 

“Of course I'm sure, you look beautiful Haz, you always do.” Louis walked over to where Harry was standing, moving his hands away and beginning to fasten the few remaining buttons for him. 

 

Louis could feel Harry tense as his knuckles skimmed the bare skin of his chest. When the buttons were secured, Louis moved to the short sleeves, folding them back a few times, just as he knew Harry liked them. When he was finished, he pressed a gentle kiss to Harry's collar bones, skimming his nose and his lips over Harry's smooth skin, before running his tongue up the length of Harry's neck, coming to a stop at his parted lips. 

 

They kissed for a moment, gentle at first, but quickly becoming more heated as was usually the case. Louis fought to pull himself away from Harry, knowing that he'd love nothing more than to spend the day wrapped up in Harry's arms, lovingly devouring him from the inside out, making Harry come apart at the seams, but he'd promised him they'd explore more of Louis’ little slice of paradise and that's exactly what they were going to do. 

 

Harry had clearly been thinking the same thing and they reluctantly separated, breathing heavily, staring longingly into each other's eyes. 

 

“What are we like?” Harry said with a chuckle, dimples on show. 

 

“We? This isn't my fault, it's your fault for being so damn sexy all the time,” Louis said. 

 

“I try,” was all Harry said, shrugging and winking over his shoulder at a stunned Louis, as he retreated into the closet, retrieving his coat and scarf so that they could be on their way. 

….. 

 

It had been cold and dreary for the better part of a fortnight, the rain coming down in icy sheets, forcing Harry and Louis to be confined to the warmth of Louis’ studio, curled up together by the fire. Neither of them had particularly minded, but the whole point had been for Harry to explore Melbourne, the Mornington Peninsula and the areas surrounding Louis’ home, not to be confined to barracks like he usually was. 

 

So when they'd woken up that morning to clear skies and a tiny sliver of sunshine that had gradually strengthened throughout the morning, they'd jumped at the chance to leave the house and explore. 

 

They had the windows down, the wind whipping through their hair, their cheeks and noses turning a delicate pink from the chilly air, as Louis drove them down the Peninsula. Louis had decided to take the scenic route, heading through a small town about thirty minutes from Frankston that would bring them out exactly where they needed to be. 

 

Harry had been mindlessly staring out of the window, head resting lazily on the head rest until Louis had turned a corner and they'd been plunged into a beautiful wooded area. He sat up, pushing his dark glasses off his face, and stared, mouth agog, at the beauty of his surroundings. 

 

The road twisted and turned, sloping downwards as they went, a steep drop on either side of them. Louis slowed the car, noticing that there were no other cars on the road, allowing Harry to take in exactly what he was seeing. 

 

In every direction, as far as the eye could see, the landscape was painted in lush greens. Tall trees crowded the road side, sprawling foliage coating the earth like a rolling sea and every so often, a dilapidated farm building or beautifully restored home could be spotted, peeking out from behind the picturesque woodland around them. The golden sunshine broke through the canopy of trees at odd intervals, bathing the valley below them in light and Harry could do nothing but stare in complete awe.

 

“Lou, where are we? This place is so beautiful,” Harry breathed, his voice barely a whisper. 

 

“The locals call it ‘The Windy’s’, it's the back way to Dromana. We could have driven down the boring highway, but everyone knows what a highway looks like. I thought this would be a bit more exciting than monotonous bitumen.”

 

Louis watched Harry as best as he could out of the corner of his eye, his sole focus on guiding the car along the winding road in front of them. He watched as Harry's eyes scanned over everything in front of him, determined to see and experience it all. 

 

A small building came into view as Louis rounded a sharp bend, indicating left onto the road that ran alongside it. He pulled up into the car park, empty save for one lone car a few spaces over and brought the car to a stop, switching off the engine. 

 

“Where are we?” Harry asked as he wrapped his thick, pink scarf around his neck. 

 

“You'll see,” Louis replied with a wide unwavering grin. 

 

All Harry could do was smile back at the pure joy on Louis’ face and his curiosity was piqued at where Louis had brought them, not having mentioned anything like this when they'd discussed their plans for the day over breakfast. Louis hurriedly exited the car, running around the bonnet to open Harry's door before Harry had even undone his seatbelt. Louis bowed with a dramatic flourish, allowing Harry to walk a few paces ahead of him, before locking the car and taking Harry by the hand. 

 

They walked in companionable silence up the short path that lead to the entry of the building. Tall glass flowers and beautiful sculptures lined the path and picturesque garden and Louis could see the smile growing on Harry's face. ‘Gordon Studios’ was all the large black and orange sign above the door read and Harry pulled the door open gently, unsure of what may lay on the other side. 

 

As Harry took a tentative step over the threshold and his brain realised what he was seeing, he let out a long, slow breath, his eyes raking over the breathtaking sight. He looked over his shoulder at Louis, joyous smile still firmly on his face and he nodded, encouraging Harry to walk further into the building. 

 

The walls were painted a crisp white, dainty down lights, exposed wooden beams and backlit boxes built into the walls, the only defining features of the room. But what drew Harry's attention, what wowed him into stunned silence, was the exquisite and colourful, blown glass artwork. 

 

“I knew you would like it here,” Louis whispered, as if he would disturb the beautiful pieces of art if he spoke too loudly. 

 

“Lou, this place is incredible. Why is no one here?” Harry asked, his face falling as he spoke.

 

“Because it's off the beaten track and these days, people have lost all sense of what true craftsmanship and beauty is.” 

 

Harry nodded his agreement. The world was slowly losing its beauty, slowly becoming consumed by greed and hate and Harry was relieved to know that there were still some people in this world who surrounded themselves with beauty, undeterred by all of the ugliness in the world. 

 

“Can we look around?”  Harry asked. 

 

“Of course we can, love. Pick whatever you like, my treat.” Harry's face lit up as he walked forwards with more purpose, stopping at every bowl, vase and sculpture, inspecting them and giving them all the love and admiration they deserved. 

 

Louis had been here many times, just to sit in the ‘Inspiration Corner’. With his writing book in hand, he'd hoped that immersing himself in the beauty of the glass sculptures around him would inspire him somehow. Sometimes he'd just come to chat to Eileen, the older woman becoming a valued friend, during a time in his life he'd felt like he'd had none. Or, at least he had. It seemed Louis used to do a lot of things he didn't do any more and the more of his world he showed to Harry, the more he realised just how much of his life he'd given up on. 

 

Louis walked slowly around the gallery, a few steps behind Harry, watching as Harry's fingertips grazed gently over a particularly beautiful turtle sculpture, eyes lighting up at the sight of it before slowly moving away from it. 

 

It was then that Louis spotted Eileen, one of the artists and owners of the studio. He hurried over to her, a relieved smile filling her face at the sight of him and she walked forwards to meet him, wrapping him up in a tight hug. 

 

“Louis, my darling boy, it's been too long,” she breathed into his ear. 

 

“I know, Eileen, I know, it really has,” Louis said as he pulled away from her, Eileen continuing to hold him by the shoulders as he spoke. “I've missed you, I've missed coming here.”

 

“We've missed you too, Louis. It's been rather dull around here without you. What's brought you back?” Eileen asked, leading Louis over to the counter at the front of the room. 

 

Louis looked to where Harry was standing, a look of love and adoration flitting across his face. 

 

“Him,” was all Louis said, looking  longingly at Harry, before he smiled back at Eileen. She returned his smile, patting his arm as if to silently say that was all that she'd needed to hear. She didn't need to know who he was or what he was doing there with Louis, because the way Louis looked at Harry and the smile that never left his face, told her all that she needed to know. 

 

“You look so happy, Louis, it's lovely to see you smiling again,” was her reply, and all Louis could do was grin back at her. 

 

“How much is the Sea Turtle, Eileen? I saw Harry eyeing it up and I'd love to get it for him. I know he'll try and talk me out of it, so could you just ring it up for me while we finish having a look around? If I give you the keys to the car can you hide it under the blanket in the boot for me?”

 

“That one’s $1,300 on it's own or $1,500 with the stand. I can do it cheaper for you though, love.”

 

“No, no deals. I'm not taking money out of your pocket, Eileen. I owe you too much to ever pay anything else than full price. I’ll take it with the stand please.”

 

She smiled softly at him for that comment, nodding gently. “Ok, love, I'll go and get it and wrap it up for you, then you can surprise Harry with it later.” Louis kissed her cheek and handed over his credit card and keys. At that, Eileen moved swiftly away and Louis joined Harry where he was looking at a collection of bird sculptures.

 

Louis padded quietly up behind Harry, wrapping his arms around his waist and resting his cheek against his back. 

 

“Find anything you like,love?” Louis asked as Harry turned to face him, his expression sad. 

 

“That Sea Turtle is stunning Louis, but it appears someone else has beaten me to it,” Harry said with a sigh, his shoulders slumping. “Who was that you were talking to?”

 

“That's a shame, love, I know turtles are your favourite,” Louis said, running a gentle hand up and down Harry’s arm, attempting to withhold the smile threatening to break free. “Oh, that’s Eileen, she's an artist here and one of the owners, she's a good friend of mine. I think she made the turtle actually, maybe she would make another one for you.”

 

Harry looked at Louis with a puzzled expression then. “How do you know turtles are my favourite?” is all he said. Louis shook his head. Out of all he'd just said, of course that was the only thing that had grabbed Harry's attention.

 

“I was a fan before I was your sexy, amazing boyfriend,” Louis said with a shrug, blushing. “Plus, I know how to Google.” 

 

Harry shook his head at Louis with an amused smile, endeared by the fact that he knew these things about him. 

 

The fact that Louis was once a fan, singing along to his songs on the radio and dreaming that one day, he'd be lucky enough to meet Harry, still made Harry's head spin, but he was thankful every single day that they'd met. Louis was his whole world and he wasn't sure how he'd gotten through life until this point without Louis in it. 

 

“Fair point, Tomlinson, fair point. But I don't think I want Eileen to make me another one. It’s unique and beautiful, an original. A duplicate would spoil that and it'd be unfair to taint it like that.” 

 

Louis looked up into Harry's eyes, unable to believe this man was his, unable to believe he was lucky enough to know Harry and his gentle soul. 

 

“Please,  _ please,  _ promise me you'll never stop being you. You are far too gentle and precious for this world and to be honest, the world needs more people like you in it.” Harry bowed his head, blushing furiously at Louis’ words. 

 

“Come on love, let's go, I promise we'll come back before you leave.” Louis said, Harry nodding, his smile faltering slightly at Louis’ words. 

 

They hadn't spoken about Harry having to return to England in a few weeks time. Both of them were choosing to pretend like that wasn't a reality, but they knew they'd have to talk about it eventually and now was neither the time or the place. 

 

Louis made a show of retrieving his keys, feigning panic at not finding them anywhere on his person. 

 

“Shit, I've lost the bloody keys!” he said, running his hand through his hair. “Why don't you head out to the car, babe, see if I dropped them on the way in and I'll ask Eileen if she's picked them up.” 

 

“Ok Lou. I'll come back and help look in five minutes if you don't find them first,” Harry said with a determined look in his eye. Louis nodded then, kissing Harry softly, before Harry turned on his heel and strode purposefully out of the studio.

 

Louis couldn't help but laugh once Harry was a safe distance away from the door. He jogged over to Eileen who was standing behind the counter once again, twirling his keys on the end of her finger. 

 

“You've sent that poor boy on a wild goose chase, Louis Tomlinson,” Eileen chastised, a fond smile on her lips.

 

“How else was I supposed to get my keys and credit card back without him getting suspicious?” he said. “I had to think of something.” 

 

Eileen shook her head, her shoulders shaking as she tried and failed to suppress a laugh, beyond happy to see that the mischievous Louis she'd met all those years ago had finally returned. She handed him back his keys and credit card then, offering him one last hug and a kiss on the cheek.

 

“Don't you be a stranger now. I don't want it to be another three years until the next time I see you. And next time, I want to meet that handsome man of yours properly.”

 

“We'll be back soon Eileen, I promise you that,” Louis said, smiling brightly at her and with one last hug, Louis raced out of the studio, straight into Harry's waiting arms, right where he belonged. 

 

…..

 

They'd listened to the radio as Louis had driven them to Dromana Beach, singing along wildly to the pop songs that played. Harry had almost squealed as they'd passed the Drive In movie theatre, Louis promising they could go the next time a decent film was showing, before pulling up outside a quaint fish n chip shop a few minutes later. 

 

They'd eaten their lunch sat at a wooden picnic table, enjoying each other's company and watching the waves dance along the shoreline. Once they had finished eating, they'd braved the cold wind, strolling arm in arm along the beach, taking all the time they wanted, not in any real hurry to get home just yet. They’d then stood together watching as the sun set, Louis resting his head on Harry's shoulder. It wasn't until the sky grew dark around them that they'd reluctantly made their way up the beach and headed home. 

 

They arrived home to an empty house almost an hour later, Louis finding a piece of paper on the kitchen bench that both Jay and Lottie had scribbled notes on, putting the kettle on as he read.

 

_ Lou and Harry, _

 

_ I’ve been called into work to cover a night shift. I should be home by around 8 in the morning. Have fun tonight with the gang. Don't get too rowdy please.  _

 

_ Love you _

 

_ Mum xx _

  
  


_ L & H  _

 

_ Popped round to Ni’s. Asked me to come help him get drinks for tonight. Everyone's getting here round 9.  _

 

_ Cya then  _

 

_ Lots x _

 

Louis handed the note over to Harry, who read it quickly, a broad grin on his lips at being included in both women's notes.

 

“You're part of the furniture now, Haz,” Louis teased. 

 

“It would appear so,” Harry replied with a smile. “Not that I mind. It's nice to feel normal. That's what I love most about all of you, you don't treat me differently because of my job. And it's nice to see people still leaving hand written notes, when it would be quicker to just send a text.”

 

Harry made a valid point. Louis hadn't given it much thought before but unless it was a dire emergency, they'd always left notes for each other. It was something they'd always done and Louis realised then, there were lots of things he'd not thought were important, taking them for granted, until he'd met Harry. 

 

“There is nothing normal about you, my love,” Louis said, watching as Harry's face fell at his words. “You are extraordinary, brilliant, stunning, pure, generous, all of those things, but never normal. And I wouldn't have you any other way.”  Louis pressed a kiss to Harry's waiting lips, Harry picking Louis up by the back of his thighs at his words and sitting him on the counter. 

 

Harry couldn't contain himself whenever Louis spoke of him this way. It gave him butterflies in his stomach and his skin tingled. He was certain, though, that he never wanted to stop feeling this way around Louis. 

 

Kissing turned quickly into touching, which led to moaning and grinding and before long, clothes were being shed and their breathing was heavy. Harry was busying himself with Louis’ collarbones, kissing and sucking at the delicate skin there, tracing the inked words with his tongue. Louis’ hands had found their way into Harry’s thick mop of curls as he whimpered beneath him, Louis needing to feel connected to Harry, to touch him in some way. But it was as Harry had latched himself onto Louis’ neck, sucking a deep love bite into his tanned skin, that the loud bang of the front door hitting the wall sounded out around them. 

 

“For fuck... sake, every, damn, time.” Louis breathed into Harry's ear, slumping forwards and resting his forehead on Harry’s shoulder.  Louis sighed in frustration. “Good thing we hadn't decided to get completely naked yet, huh?.” It was the third time in a week that Harry and Louis had been interrupted and it was doing nothing for Louis’ mood. 

 

“It's fine baby, I'll make it up to you later, I promise,” Harry whispered with a chuckle into Louis’ ear, hoping that tonight he may actually be able to make love to Louis without interruption. Harry stood up straight, wrapping his arms around Louis’ neck, kissing him quickly once more before they parted. Louis hopped down from the bench just as Lottie and Niall appeared at the top of the stairs and he hoped they looked more innocent than he felt.

 

Niall came strolling into the kitchen then, completely unphased by Harry and Louis’ half naked and flustered appearance, ignoring the piles of discarded clothes on the floor around them as he dropped the two cartons of beer he was carrying onto the bench next to them.

 

“Alright lads?” Niall asked, winking at both of them. 

 

“Just bloody terrific,” Louis said with a fake smile plastered to his face, voice dripping with sarcasm, Harry choking back laughter beside him. “But it seems you lot don't know how to tell the bloody time. Lottie’s note said you'd be back at 9pm with the others. It's only 7:30pm!”

 

Lottie was standing with her hands on her hips, surveying the two men in front of her. Harry began to blush under her gaze, knowing that she knew what they'd been up to, the large purple bruise on Louis’ neck, the piles of clothing and Louis’ outburst a dead give away. 

 

“Big mosquitoes out tonight, huh Louis?” she said with a smirk, making her way over to them from where she'd been standing, just inside the entry to the kitchen. 

 

Niall burst into laughter, knowing exactly what she meant and Harry could feel his face growing hotter at Lottie’s words. He was an adult and could make out with his boyfriend whenever and wherever he pleased, but that didn't mean it wasn't still embarrassing when Lottie, or the rest of the gang teased them about it. 

 

“What bloody mosquitoes?” Louis asked, looking at Lottie as though she'd suddenly grown horns, not having a clue what she was talking about. 

 

Lottie strode straight up to Louis and jabbed him hard in the neck with her finger, right where the love bite was.

 

“Ouch! What the hell was that for!?” Louis said. 

 

“You have a hickey, Tommo,” Niall said, taking pity on the pair of them. Harry looked mortified. 

 

“And? I have a hickey, so what? Like you two haven't spent all day swapping DNA.” Louis said. 

 

“Can't argue with that,” Niall said with a wink. It was Lottie’s turn to blush then. 

 

“Come on guys, do we really have to -” Harry started to say.

 

“I thought we were all adults here yeah? You suck cock, I suck cock,” Louis said, pointing at Lottie, then gesturing to himself.  “He sucks cock, and quite well, I might add,” pointing to Harry then, “And Niall the church boy lets you suck on his. So, now that we're all sufficiently mortified, caught up on each other's sex lives and have established how many of us do or do not suck cock, can we get ready before everyone else shows up please?”

 

A stunned silence followed, no one knowing what to say or how to react. But it was Harry who recovered first, snorting laughter filling the air, Lottie, Niall and Louis quickly following suit. After a few minutes of this, none of them being able to contain their laughter for more than a few seconds, Niall spoke.

 

“Jesus, Tommo, I fucking love you sometimes. Where do you want this beer before it gets hot?” 

 

“Umm, well, about that,” Louis said, his expression turing serious. “I was thinking we could all hang out in the studio tonight, you know, for a change. There's a bar fridge in there you can put the beer in.” 

 

Lottie gasped at her brothers words, Harry turning his body to face Louis, his eyes wide with shock. 

 

“The studio, Louis, are you serious?” Lottie asked in disbelief. 

 

“Lou, are you sure?” Harry asked, placing a hand on Louis’ shoulder. 

 

Niall looked utterly lost, looking between the three of them in confusion, having no idea what or where a studio was and why it was such a big deal. 

 

“What studio?” he asked.

 

“Louis’ studio.” Lottie said. “The only person who isn't a client, who's ever set foot in there, is Harry. Mum and I have never even been in there.”

 

“Why?” Niall asked, now even more confused.

 

“Because,” Harry spoke, before Louis even had a chance, “his heart and soul are in there and he was afraid of them getting broken again.” 

 

Harry let his hand fall from where it had been on Louis’ shoulder, holding his arms out, inviting Louis into them. Louis immediately stepped into Harry's embrace, his head resting on Harry's bare chest. Harry noted the glisten of unshed tears in Louis’ eyes as he'd moved towards him. He knew this was hard for Louis, that this was a huge step for him. 

 

“Are you sure you want all of us in there, love? You know you don't have to, right?” Harry said gently. 

 

He could feel a single tear running down his chest as he spoke, feel the shake of his body as Louis fought to hold back a sob. Lottie and Niall had come to stand beside Harry and Louis, almost forming a protective circle around Louis, a show of solidarity and support that Harry was thankful for. 

 

“I know I don't have to, Haz,” Louis said, sniffing and wiping at his eyes with his hand. “But I want to. I'm tired of shutting everyone out. I'm tired of living my life alone and watching it pass by me, because I'm terrified of something that may never happen.” 

 

“I'm so proud of you, Lou,” Harry said, bringing his lips down to meet Louis’. 

 

“Right, studio it is.” Niall said, attempting to lift the mood. “Lead the way, Tommo.”

 

Louis laughed, still wiping at his face and Harry’s chest. He grabbed a carton of beer and walked slowly down the stairs to the landing by the front door, Niall following along behind him. He took a huge breath, adjusting the carton of beer in his hands and opened the door of his studio and took the first steps towards his new life. 

 

…..

 

“I swear to all that's holy Harold, if you peek one more time, there'll be no sex for a week.” Louis said, trying to carefully place the packages on the floor at Harry’s feet. 

 

“That wouldn't be so bad,” Harry said. “ We both know you wouldn't last one day and you'd be dry humping my leg.”

 

“Ha. bloody. Ha. Fifty thousand out of work comedians in the world and you're  _ trying _ to be funny.”

 

Harry giggled, a tinkling melodic sound from where he sat on the edge of the bed. He'd changed into skinny jeans, a loose grey sweater and had tied the top half of his hair into two space buns. He had his ringed fingers covering his eyes and from where Louis was standing, Harry looked like a little grey teddy bear, ears and all. 

 

“Right, you can look now,” Louis said and stepped backwards away from Harry, sitting in the occasional chair by the window. He propped his elbows up on his knees, his chin resting in his hands as he watched Harry, eager not miss a single second. 

 

A gigawatt smile instantly appeared on Harry's face as he looked at the wrapped packages in front of him. He turned his head to look at Louis, his smile intensifying, before turning back and bending down to retrieve the first package. Louis sighed in relief as Harry chose the thinner package wrapped in orange tissue paper. Louis knew it housed the stand by the shape and weight of it and he was glad Harry had somehow known to open that one first. Sure, he'd be a bit confused until he opened the other package, but it would make his reaction to it all the better.

 

Louis watched, an amused grin creeping onto his lips at the confused look on Harry's face, when he produced the sleek metal and wood stand from between the layers of bubble wrap. 

 

“Lou-” Harry said, Louis quick to cut him off.

 

“Open the other one, love, it'll make sense then. But be careful.” 

 

Harry nodded his head, the tip of his tongue peeking out from between his lips, his brow furrowed slightly as he concentrated on the task at hand. His movements were slow, deliberate, cradling the package in his hands as if it were a newborn child, scared of holding it too tightly. He lay the larger, heavier package down in his lap, gently tugging on the ribbon that held the tissue paper in place, unravelling it before letting it flutter to the carpeted floor. 

 

Louis’ eyes were glued to Harry. He followed each movement he made, watched as the tip of his tongue moved gently from one side of his mouth to the other, disappearing and then reappearing  between his lips each time. He watched the way Harry's toned arms moved under the fabric of his sweater, the way his calves and thick thighs were bulging, his toes pointed using his muscular legs to hold the package on his lap. And before Louis knew it, his thoughts had drifted to what he'd like to do between those thighs and where he'd like to feel that tongue.

 

But as Louis’ mind had wandered, Harry had opened the second package and he'd gasped in shock, almost dropping it's precious cargo in the process. Harry held the exquisite Sea Turtle in his hands, turning it every which way he could think of, admiring it as the lights gleamed on the shiny surface of its shell. 

 

Harry looked once more at the glass creature in his hands, before lowering it back into the box gently. He replaced the layers of bubble wrap that kept it safe, setting the box back on the floor at his feet. He looked back towards Louis then, a tear trailing down his cheek before looking back at the floor once more. He still hadn't said a word and Louis was beginning to panic, thinking maybe Harry hadn't liked it at all, that he'd misread the situation in the studio entirely. 

 

“Harry….” Louis began, but stopped when Harry began to shake his head violently. Louis hadn't really know what he wanted to say, or what Harry needed to hear, so he closed his mouth again and waited for Harry to speak. He needed Harry to take charge here, to make the first move, to let him know one way or the other if he loved it or hated it. 

It wasn't long before he got his answer. Harry stood up abruptly, after staring unblinking at the carpet for what felt like hours. He reached a hand up to his hair, removing the ties that held it up and shook it out, Louis’ cock twitching at the sight. Gingerly, Harry stepped over his packages, careful not to trip over any of them, or disturb them in any way with his long limbs and he stopped, his green, red rimmed eyes boring into Louis, before sprinting at Louis and throwing himself at him. 

 

Louis wasn't able to stand in time and Harry came crashing down onto his lap, his hands immediately finding purchase in Louis’ hair, his lips bruising in their search to convey whatever it was Harry so clearly couldn't put into words. The force of Harry hitting him had thrown both Louis and the small chair, backwards into the wall behind them and Louis could have sworn he heard the plaster crack on impact. But Harry's hands were tugging at his hair, his lips and tongue relentless against his own and Louis couldn't care less if there was a hole in the wall the size of the Grand Canyon, all he cared about was Harry and the way his cock was pulsing with need between them. 

 

Louis’ hands came up under the hem of Harry’s sweater, his fingertips grazing up Harry's spine as he ground his hips down into Louis’. Moans and pants and a faint whine from Harry, mixed with the occasional knock of the chair against the wall, was all that could be heard. Louis’ head was spinning, Harry's scent and soft whining and body heat invading his senses. He couldn't think straight and his body felt as though it was on fire, every nerve ending coming to life beneath his skin, like a series of perfectly timed fireworks. But they couldn't do this, not now, the gang would be there any second. 

 

“Harry…baby…” Louis breathed when Harry broke their kiss, for the first time since it began. Harry stopped, resting his forehead against Louis’, his soft curls caressing Louis’ cheeks, both of them sticky with sweat but neither of them cared.

 

“What?” Harry said, his voice a low, seductive rumble. He may have stopped kissing Louis as he spoke, but his hands certainly hadn't lost interest. Harry's fingers fiddled with the waistband of Louis’ joggers, his fingertips grazing lightly backwards and forwards over the sensitive skin at Louis’ pelvis. 

 

“We have to stop, babe, the others will be here any second,” Louis said, a frustrated sigh leaving his lips as he spoke. His mouth may have been saying one thing but his body was saying another, and it was the latter that Harry was choosing to focus his attention on. 

 

“Doesn't seem like you want to stop, Lou,” Harry whispered, his breath skimming lightly over Louis’ neck as he spoke. His fingers were now inching their way further beneath the waistband of Louis’ joggers and boxers, the tip of his swollen cock twitching as Harry's fingers made contact. 

 

“Fuck... Haz….” Louis said. He was trying so hard to focus on what he had to say, on the fact that they had to be downstairs and presentable, but all his mind could think of was the way Harry's strong fingers and the cool metal of his rings felt against his cock and the funny things those sensations were doing to his insides. 

 

Harry, however, wasn't easing up any time soon. His left hand was back in Louis’ hair, his swollen, pink lips once more devouring Louis’ and his other hand was doing that thing to Louis’ cock that was guaranteed to make him come in minutes. 

 

“Oh fuck-” Louis mumbled against Harry's lips. His boy, his beautiful mess of contradictions and beauty, was taking from him what he wanted, using his hand and his mouth to show Louis how much he loved him, and hopefully his gift, and there wasn't a damn thing Louis could do to stop him. 

 

Louis loved it when Harry got like this if he was being honest. Growls rumbled out of him, a dark look of pure desire flashed across his eyes and he was insatiable. Louis, however,!, wasn't complaining. He'd always been the dominant one in bed, in all of his previous relationships and sexual encounters, but with Harry, well, there was a lot to be said for being dominated. 

 

Harry was spitting into his hand now, coating it in warm saliva, smirking as he noted Louis’ look of shock and lust. He made a show of biting his lip and grinding his hips in circular motions, so that his hard length rubbed slowly, painfully almost, against Louis’. Harry watched Louis pant and squirm beneath him, before dipping his hand back beneath Louis’ boxers and stroking his hard length once again.

 

Louis threw his head back, slamming it hard against the wall as Harry's thumb rubbed over his slit, trailing around the sensitive skin of his head and he could feel his orgasm bubbling low in his belly. 

 

This was how Harry always wanted Louis, pliant, breathless and begging. It was the only time Louis ever relinquished control, the only time he ever let himself be a slave to his body and his emotions and at times like this, when he was about to share something so big with the others, Harry knew he needed to let go. 

 

Harry needed to be inside Louis, to feel his warmth encasing him, to feel Louis stretch around him, accommodating his length, but they didn't have time for that, not now at least. Harry's hand moved faster as he heard footsteps coming down the hallway. He could feel Louis arching his back, his thigh and stomach muscles clenching as his orgasm grew nearer and be damned if they were going to be interrupted again. Harry leant forwards, their chests now pressed together. Harry covered Louis’ mouth with his free hand, not having time to explain why.

 

Louis’ breath hitched as Harry covered his mouth, making it slightly harder to breath and he felt a zap of electricity run directly from his mouth to his hard cock. He was so close but he could hear footsteps in the hallway and once again, he'd be denied what he needed.  But before another thought could enter his mind, Harry leant down to his ear and whispered softly.

 

“Come for Daddy.” 

 

No sooner had the final word left Harry's mouth, Louis came hard, back arched, legs shaking and Harry thought he'd never seen anything more sinful in his life. 


	15. Journals, Conditions And Fragile Masculinity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry writes in his journal for the first time in months. Louis drags him out to a karaoke bar and Harry watches as his entire life flashes before his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone. I am so sorry it has taken me so long to get this chapter out. Both my daughter and my sister have been in and out of hospital on top of on going family drama. But its finally here! 
> 
> Its a little different to what I've written so far, but it's necessary and i hope you enjoy it.
> 
> Feel free to yell and scream at me on Twitter.   
> @TheirGoldenFool
> 
>  
> 
> A MASSIVE thank you also goes to Chloe for her contiuned love, support and encouragement. You keep me on track and help me through my writer's block when i feel like I'm going in circles. But most importantly for being my beta when she has so much on her own plate and helping me to end this chapter without it feeling half assed or rushed. 
> 
> Thank you all for all your love and support. 
> 
> All the love 
> 
> Z x

_ Friday 13th July 2018. _

  
  
  


_ Entry #224 _

  
  
  


_ I haven't written anything in this journal for what feels like the longest time. I've been so busy actually LIVING life, that I haven't felt the need to ponder and contemplate on anything that I may be missing out on. I'm not missing out on the simple things in life anymore. I'm not yearning for something, needing something, wanting something to fill the hole in my heart and my life.  _

 

_ Because you see, that hole is no longer there. The yearning and pining for what my heart wanted more than anything is gone. I have finally found my home.  _

 

_ My home that is sapphire eyes and tanned skin. My home that sings like an angel, my only angel.  _

 

_ My home that is strong thighs and lips so good I forget my own name. My home that is crinkled eyes and a dimpled spine. My home, that is Louis. _

 

_ Wherever I go and whatever I do, he is always on my mind. But there are those who would see us apart. Those narrow minded individuals who would rather I portray an image of being a drunken womanizer, rather than an image of devoted love, simply because the person I love is a man.  _

 

_ A strong, beautiful, intelligent and fiercely loyal man. But we do not get to decide who it is our heart chooses to love. That is not for us to decide. It is fate. It is destined. It is the type of love few can only dream of knowing in their lifetime. A love, that happens only once in a lifetime.  _

 

_ And it is for this reason, that I now find myself wondering if I can go on with the career I have chosen. To tour the world, spending night after night alone in faceless, nameless hotel rooms, that after a few could all be the same. But more importantly, do I WANT to? Do I want to continue on this journey alone? _

 

_ The fans adore me, I know that. I make them happy and fill them with joy. I make them feel safe, accepted. But at what cost? At what personal expense? Am I doomed to be alone, apart from the man and the life I have grown to love so much? Am I forsaken to this lonely, closeted existence?  _

 

_ The fans, the true fans, they know. They want only my happiness and what is best for me. They know that what Louis and I share is more than an alcohol fueled mistake, a phase.  _

 

_ And as for my so called “team”, well, they can attempt to thwart us, thwart the fans at every turn. They can block their tweets and throw NDA’s around like confetti, but I know the truth, Louis knows the truth, those that matter to us know the truth and so do all of our fans. And yes, my amazing, devoted and loyal fans, Larry is real. Do not lose faith in us, don't be discouraged, never give up hope. We hear you, we see you and we love you. _

 

_ But if my options continue to remain the same, if I have to choose between fame and fortune, being oppressed and controlled, or to be with the love of my life, free and happy, there is no question of which of the two I will choose.  _

 

_ Louis… _

 

_ It will always be Louis. Today, tomorrow, or a thousand years from now. I will choose Louis. Now and always.  _

  
  


_ H . _

  
  


…

 

Harry stuffed his leather journal underneath the couch cushion as he heard Louis clomping around upstairs, clearly out of the shower now. He quickly whipped his phone out of his pocket and attempted to act as naturally as possible, not wanting Louis to know what he'd been up to.

 

For a few weeks now, Harry had been contemplating his life, his career and his future. He thought he had his life figured out, planned for him right down to what time he was allowed to brush his teeth. But that had all flown out the window the day he'd met Louis. 

 

Now, all that he could see when he looked to his future was Louis. No matter where they were, or what they chose to do next, everything came up Louis. But the life of a touring musician, always in the public eye, forced to be who and what his management told him he had to be and his life with Louis, was like trying to mix oil and water. 

 

Louis hated Harry’s management team with a passion, more specifically Simon. Harry couldn't fault him there. But unfortunately, a contract that Harry had stupidly signed all those years ago, was stopping him from living his life how he wanted to live it. And apparently that included who he loved too. 

 

It had all started the night the gang had come over for drinks at Louis’. Harry stared at his phone screen, trying to focus on the words and images in front of him but his mind drifted back to that night, a wistful smile on his face. 

 

_ “It's in bloody Romanian! How have I listened to this song for 84 years and not known it's sung in Romanian?” Louis said, beer spilling onto the floor of the studio as he waved his arms around wildly.  _

 

_ “Because, you didn't know me then,” Dea said, wiping away the tears of laughter that were streaming down her face, “And, you didn't know Romanian.” _

 

_ “Be that as it may  _ Andrea _ , the important thing here in not that it's in Romanian, it's that my drunk ass knew that's what it was. Praise me!”  _

 

_ Everyone laughed as Louis flung his arms out to the side, Niall and Harry applauding and cheering, only adding to Louis’ ego trip.  _

 

_ “Right, enough waffle from you Tommo, get the bloody song on so we can all know what it is,” Niall said, downing the last of his eighth beer of the evening, quickly replacing it with another.  _

 

_ “Its Dragostea Din Tei, everyone knows this song! And if by some freak chance you spent the entirety of your teenage years hiding under a rock, allow me to educate you. ALEXA! PLAY THE NUMA NUMA SONG!” Louis yelled, and everyone cheered.  _

 

**_“Now playing Dragostea Din Tei by O-Zone.”_ **

 

_ By the end of the intro, the gang had assembled in the open space in the middle of the room. Everyone was dancing and singing, Dea showing off by singing it in English, the boys even breaking into the dance that had been made famous on YouTube. _

 

_ Harry couldn't believe Louis had spent so many years alone in here, when this was clearly who he truly was. Louis was wild, the life of the party, just like he'd been the night he and Harry had met and Harry was so glad to see him like this again. It was then Harry noticed Louis, heading over to the recording area as the song ended, grabbing a handful of microphones and mic packs.  _

 

_ “Lou… Louis… oh lover boy?” Harry calle, Louis spinning around and grinning at him from where he was stood next to the shelves that held the equipment. “What are you up to?”  _

 

_ “Let's have a proper sing song. I know you lot can sing. Harooooold! Sing me a song!”  _

 

_ Harry couldn't help but laugh at him. Louis was being equal parts adorable and sassy and Harry was falling more in love with him by the second.  _

 

_ “Anything for you love, on one condition -”  _

 

_ “Excuse me? A condition? The whole point of unconditional love is that there are no conditions!” Louis said, hands on hips, glaring at Harry as though he'd told him the tooth fairy didn't exist. _

 

_ Zayn choked on his beer as he watched the exchange between them and Caroline, now perched on the back of a Chesterfield, sat with her head on Dea’s shoulder, making love heart eyes at Harry's back, safe in the knowledge that he couldn't see her. _

 

_ “Our love  _ is  _ unconditional you twat!” Harry retorted, “But I'm not singing another word for you unless you sing with me.”  _

 

_ Louis contemplated Harry's request for a few seconds, before a mischievous grin appeared on his face. He clapped his hands together in triumph and winked conspiratorially at the others. _

 

_ “Fine, fine, but I have my own conditions.” Louis said.  _

 

_ “Ok, give it to me, I'll even let you have two conditions Lou, because your sassy ass clearly has more than one.”  _

 

_ By this point, the others were in hysterics. Niall had even whipped out his trusty iPhone and it crossed Harry's mind this would probably end up on Twitter. He also didn't really give a shit. He was drunk, having fun with Louis and their friends and his management could take a long walk off a short pier for all he cared. _

 

_ “You're on Harriet, Condition 1.”  _

 

_ “Oh god here we go…” Harry sighed.  _

 

_ “That all living, breathing, sexually active people in this room are required to participate.” Louis said. _

 

_ “Oh no Niall! That means you’re out,” Liam piped up and clinked beers with Zayn. Lottie snorted, spraying her beer out her nose and Niall slapped Liam on the back of the head for his efforts.  _

 

_ “Ok, everyone is singing, next…” Harry said, counting Louis’ list of conditions on his fingers, already prepared for at least 5 of them. _

 

_ “Condition 2. You get a microphone,” Louis said pointing at Harry, “You get a microphone,” he said, now pointing at Zayn who rolled his eyes. “Everyone gets a microphone!!”  _

 

_ “Yeah, righto Oprah Winfrey, anything else? ‘Cause I know there's more in there, come on, you know you want to.”  _

 

_ “Do we get a car? Or a free CD? If you’re taking requests, I want a signed copy of Harry's,” Caroline said then.  _

 

_ “Babe, if you wanted a  signed CD all you had to do was ask,” Harry said, winking at Caroline who looked as though she may faint.  _

 

_ “Yes, yes, free signed CDs with my loves face on it for everyone, personalised messages are extra. Condition 3!” _

 

_ “What are you like!” Harry said, now holding out three fingers, tears rolling down his cheeks as he laughed at Louis.  _

 

_ “Condition. 3. Are you paying attention Susan? Because  _ this _ is the important one,” Louis said, serious now.  _

 

_ “Yes,  _ Lewis,  _ I'm paying attention, get on with it.”  _

 

_ “Right, condition 3, I get to choose the song.”  _

 

_ “Seriously, that's your important condition?”  _

 

_ “Yep,” Louis said, popping the ‘p’, “got a problem with that Hershel?”  _

 

_ “No, no, no problem,” Harry said, now wheezing and attempting to keep himself upright, Louis’ antics too much now.  _

 

_ “Good, now, everyone come and get a microphone and a pack, superstar 1 and 2 here will help you put them on and fit the in-ears. And yes they are clean, the buds are changed after every use so no moaning!”  _

 

_ Zayn and Harry stepped forwards, taking four mics and packs each, helping the rest of the gang fit them. Harry fitted his last and made a mental note to get Tay to send his own microphone and pack to Louis’ if this was to become a regular occurrence, which he secretly hoped it would.  _

 

_ “Just one question, Lou,” Lottie said as she wiggled the in-ears into a comfortable position. “Why the hell do we need in-ears? Where do you think we are? The bloody San Siro? This isn't The Band of Degenerates Live and On Tour.”  _

 

_ “Firstly,” Louis began, taking a swig of yet another beer as he counted on his fingers now. “That's more than one bloody question. Secondly, because I'm drunk and everything is a brilliant idea when you're drunk. Thirdly, because now we can all be superstars. And fourthly -”  _

 

_ “I knew I shouldn't have asked,” Lottie mumbled, cutting Louis off mid rant. _

 

_ “ _ Fourth-ly. _ ” Louis said, glaring at Lottie, “because don't think for one second, that I don't know that all of you peasants haven't  imagined at one point or another, what it would be like to sing on a stage and wear in-ears like our dear Harold here. So, you're welcome. Now. Let's get on with it, shall we?”  _

 

_ “Just so we are all clear, these are basically so we can hear ourselves, the mix and each other, like in this case, where there is more than one singer. They really are just fancy headphones. They just look cooler than they actually are,” Harry said, all of this second nature to him now.  _

 

_ “I suppose I'll be doing the mix then?” Zayn said.  _

 

_ “If you would be so kind Zaynie, that would be wonderful.” Louis said, and Zayn rolled his eyes as he moved over to the mixing station. He flicked, switched and twisted dials before gently speaking into his microphone. Everyone except Harry and Zayn jumped and Harry couldn't help the smirk on his face. _

 

_ “Jesus Zayn! A little warning would have been nice!” Liam shouted, holding his hand over his heart.  _

 

_ “Sorry babe. I take it you can all hear me then?”  _

 

_ “Obviously.” Louis said, sass out in full force the more beer he drank.  _

 

_ They spent the next few minutes working out who could hear what, sound levels and a mix before Louis decided it was time to sing the song ‘proper’.  _

 

_ “Right, you all ready then?” Zayn asked, everyone nodding or giving him the thumbs up. “Ok then, here we go.” _

 

_ Louis took a deep breath and began, the rest of the gang joining in with him. _

 

**_In West Philadelphia born and raised_ **

**_On the playground is where I spent most of my days_ **

**_Chilling out, maxing, relaxing all cool_ **

**_And all shooting some bball outside of school_ **

 

**_When a couple of guys_ **

**_They were up to no good_ **

**_Started causing trouble in my neighbourhood_ **

**_I got in one little fight and my Mom got scared_ **

**_She said “you're moving with your Aunty and Uncle in Bel-Air.”_ **

 

**_I whistled for a cab and when it came near_ **

**_The licence plate said Fresh and had dice in the mirror_ **

**_If anything I could say that this cab was rare_ **

**_But i thought Nah, forget it, yo homes to Bel-Air._ **

 

_ Harry couldn't believe Louis had this in him. This funny, sassy, confident side to him that, at the moment, only appeared when he was drunk. Harry took one of his headphones out then, speaking to the group.  _

 

_ “Wow guys, you were all really good considering most of you haven't used in-ears before.” _

 

_ “Yes well, as fun as it’s been, us girls are just going to sit and watch you idiots. Singing really isn't our thing, unlike you freaks with your superhuman voices.” Lottie said, and Harry blushed.  _

 

_ “And don't you dare blush Harry Styles, you know as well as I do that you have an amazing voice. Sing us a proper song, I want to hear you all singing together.”  _

 

_ The boys looked at each other then, silently trying to decide which song they should sing.  _

_ “Give us one of those acoustics Tommo, I'm sure you all know this one. But if it's a bit off, blame the beer,” Niall said. _

 

_ Louis stumbled over to the rack of guitars, the boys following after him. Harry got out four mic stands, positioning them around the stool Niall was now perched on, adjusting the guitar.  _

 

_ “Right lads, you all ready?” Niall said, the boys nodding.  _

 

_ “Ok, one, two, three, four….”  _

 

_ Niall began playing the intro to the song, the boys smiling and nodding, all of them thankfully knowing it. Zayn had stayed close to the mixing station opting to play sound engineer instead.  _

 

_ Liam took the lead as the first verse approached, the boys harmonizing and finding their own little solo as they went along, all of their voices melding perfectly together.  _

  
  


**_… Now I know that you're up tonight_ **

**_Thinkin’ how could I be so reckless_ **

**_But I just can't apologise_ **

**_I hope that you understand_ **

 

**_If I go to jail tonight_ **

**_Promise you'll pay my bail_ **

**_See they want to buy my pride_ **

**_But that just ain’t up for sale_ **

 

**_See all of my kindness_ **

**_Is taken for weakness_ **

 

**_Now I'm four five seconds from wildin’_ **

**_And we got three more days til Friday_ **

**_I'm just tryna make it back home by Monday mornin’_ **

**_I swear I wish somebody would tell me_ **

**_Ooh that's all I want …._ **

 

It was at that moment that Harry had first asked himself if being a solo artist, out on the road for months at a time, spending night after night and day after day alone in cold, empty hotel rooms was really worth it and he'd not been able to shake the thought since.

 

…..

 

“Remind me why I agreed to this again?” Harry said, pinching the bridge of his nose.

 

“Because it's Friday night, you're only 24, not 104, and because you love me,” Louis said kissing Harry's cheek. 

 

“I guess I can't argue with that now can I?” 

 

“No Harold, you can't. Now get your sexy arse out of the car and let's go have some fun.” 

 

Harry blushed at Louis’ words, nodding and pecking him on the lips before he swung the car door open. He was greeted by Mark, his personal security guard and a chorus of screams from people milling about outside the bar who recognised him. 

 

Louis had convinced him to go out, a typical thing all young people like to do on a Friday night. But Harry's head was all over the place, his thoughts continuously drifting back to his journal entry from earlier and he had a terrible sinking feeling in his stomach he just couldn't shake. The last thing Harry needed on top of all that was rowdy, screaming fans, but here they were. 

 

What Louis hadn't expected was to be greeted with his own chorus of screams, the screams getting louder as he stepped out of the car behind Harry. Harry wrapped a protective arm around Louis’ waist as the gathering crowd inched closer to them, growing in number by the second. 

 

Mark was starting to struggle to hold back fans and Louis took it upon himself to direct Harry into the venue, and up the stairs away from the screaming and flash of cameras to relative safety, whilst Mark and bar security dealt with their devoted supporters. 

 

“Now I remember why I didn't want to do this,” Harry said, head down, nudging at the floor with the toe of his boot as they entered the main bar area, Louis pulling him off to the side. 

 

“Hey, look at me,” Louis said, and Harry lifted his head to look at him with sad eyes. “It's fine babe, they're just happy to see you, to see  _ us _ . We’re at a karaoke bar. You’re basically about to put on a free show for everyone in here. They'll calm down as soon as the shock wears off. Let them have their moment. You'll be fine babe, we'll be fine, I promise you.” 

 

A small smile appeared on Harry's face at Louis’ words. He gripped Louis’ hand tighter in his own and took a deep breath, Louis making no move to let go until Harry was ready, even if that meant that Louis had to hold Harry's hand all night.

 

“How are you so calm about all of this madness, Lou? I feel like a total twat. I can get up on stage and sing to thousands of people solo, but I'm a mess at a bar with 100 people in it,” Harry said in a small voice. 

 

“I'm calm because you need me to be. I'm calm because my name isn't ‘Harry Styles’. I'm calm because I'm at a bar, with my gorgeous boyfriend, who looks sexy as hell might I add, and we are here to have fun with our friends.” 

 

“What did I ever do to deserve an angel like you, Lou?” Harry breathed, stepping closer to Louis, their foreheads coming together as Harry spoke. 

 

“Be unapologetically yourself, that's what you did.”

 

“I love you, Lou.”

 

“I love you more.” Their lips came together in a tender kiss. “Now, let's go and find the other misfits we call friends and get rowdy.” 

 

Harry laughed and shook his head, his curls falling into his face as he allowed Louis to drag him through the rapidly filling bar in search of the rest of their group. 

 

…..

 

After stopping at the bar, Harry downing two consecutive vodka shots to calm his nerves, and getting themselves a drink, they spotted the rest of the group in a booth near the Karaoke machine. 

 

“Lads! Glad you could finally join us,” Liam said in greeting.

 

“Yeah sorry about that, we caused a bit of an uproar outside. Mark is having a time of it downstairs,” Louis replied, slumping down into the booth next to Niall and Lottie, Harry folding his limbs into the seat beside him.

 

“Tonight could be interesting so I apologise in advance, guys,” Harry said with a sigh. “It's one of the many “perks” of being a “celebrity”,” he continued, sarcasm lacing his words.

 

Harry looked crestfallen. The group offered him sympathetic smiles and were quick to reassure him that he was ‘just Harry’ to them and that Mark and the bar security would keep order if needed. 

 

Harry hoped that it wouldn't come to that. Harry knew that Mark would be upstairs as soon as the situation outside was contained and he'd be discreet but his eyes would never leave Harry. The vodka shots Harry had downed and the Fruit Tingle he was sipping on were starting to take effect and Harry pushed all thoughts of fans and security guards from his mind, determined to have a good time and not let his celebrity status ruin his night. 

 

…..

 

“So, have you lot decided what you're going to sing yet?!” Louis was yelling over the din and the voices of two eager, middle aged women belting out a Cher classic. 

 

The bar was now full to capacity, hundreds of sweaty bodies filling the club within an hour of Harry and Louis arriving and it was now standing room only.

 

“Yeah, I've decided,” Harry replied, keeping the small piece of paper with his choices on it  out of view of Louis. 

 

“And?” Louis asked, looking a tad on the exasperated side. They'd been poring over the song choices for the better part of an hour and Louis was growing impatient. 

 

“A surprise,” Harry replied, offering Louis a cheeky smirk and a wink.

 

“Here, everyone give me their slips and I'll take them up. I'll grab a refill on the way back, hopefully I'll get back in time for me song,” Niall said and soon he was off, five slips of paper in his hand and a spring in his step.

 

The girls were the first from their group to be called up to sing as Niall returned with a jug of beer in one hand, a jug of Fruit Tingle in the other. They'd decided to sing together, “safety in numbers” Caroline had called it, none of them overly confident with their singing abilities but not letting that stand in their way.

 

Harry had to agree with their way of thinking. He could hold his own on stage, his voice right up there with the best of them, or so he'd been told.  He’d proven that, but he knew what it felt like to want to share the limelight. He’d been wondering more and more lately what it would be like to share the stage with more than just his band. He loved Adam, Clare, Sarah and especially Mitch, he missed them terribly since they'd all taken a break when the tour had ended, but it was hard to interact with them much on stage. He wondered what it would be like to have even one more person up their singing with him, sharing the load, bringing their own personality to the stage. He wanted that for himself if he was being perfectly honest. To share the stage with people who built him up, accepted who he was, but also with the fans who adored him. After hearing the boys sing with him at Louis’ a few weeks ago, he wondered if maybe he could make that a reality, the four of them coming together, he just wasn't sure how. 

 

Harry had daydreamed his way through the entirety of the girls’ rousing rendition of the Whitney feel good classic Dance With Somebody, but clapped and cheered enthusiastically with the crowd as they took a bow. He gave himself a shake then and pushed his wayward thoughts to the back of his mind, focusing his attention on his friends and the other people performing. 

 

…..

 

Niall was the next of their group to perform. He chugged down almost a whole beer before he shuffled out of the booth and made his way to the microphone. Clearing his throat he began. 

 

“Good evening Melbourne!” 

 

The crowd cheered and applauded, Liam standing on his seat wolf whistling before Zayn quickly grabbed him by the shirt, hauling him back down again. 

 

“My name is Niall Horan, is everyone having a good time so far?” Niall continued to another round of cheers and applause. 

 

“Who does he think he is? Harry Styles?” Louis whispered into Harry's ear, Harry giggling beside him.

 

“He's a natural in front of a crowd, I'll give him that,” Harry whispered back, and again, his wayward thoughts were fighting to make a comeback.

 

“This next song is one of my favourites. I usually sing it with me guitar, but I'm a bit pissed and I don't have my guitar, so here goes.” 

 

The crowd laughed and cheered, eager to hear the song the funny, blonde Irishman had chosen and Niall launched into song. By the second verse the crowd was singing along enthusiastically with him.

 

**_… Messages just keep getting clearer_ **

**_radio’s on and I'm moving round my place_ **

**_I check my look in the mirror_ **

**_I wanna change my clothes my hair my face_ **

 

**_Man I ain't getting nowhere_ **

**_I'm just living in a dump like this_ **

**_There's something happening somewhere_ **

**_Baby I just know that there is …._ **

 

Harry and Louis had moved to the front of the crowd as Niall continued, the rest of the gang standing on their seats jumping and singing, the crowd around them catching on and before long, the bar resembled a concert. This was no longer a Karaoke bar, this was ‘Niall Horan Live and On Tour’. 

 

**_You can't start a fire_ **

**_Sittin’ round crying over a broken heart_ **

**_This gun’s for hire_ **

**_Even if we're just dancing in the dark_ **

 

**_You can't start a fire_ **

**_Worryin’ about your little world falling apart_ **

**_This gun’s for hire_ **

**_Even if we're just dancing in the dark_ **

 

**_Even if we're  just dancing in the dark_ **

**_Even if we're just dancing in the dark_ **

**_Even if we're just dancing in the dark_ **

 

**_Hey baby…._ **

 

When Niall finished the crowd erupted. He received the loudest cheers and applause of the night so far and he stumbled his way back to the booth with a smile on his face, Lottie there to greet him with a kiss. 

 

…..

 

After a round of “gay vodka” shots, as Dea had dubbed them, owing to the fact that they'd come from a Rainbow coloured bottle and another jug of beer and Fruit Tingle, it was Louis’ turn to sing. 

 

His hands were shaking and he felt nervous as he stepped up to the microphone, despite being able to sing well. It was different singing with Harry or the gang in safety of his studio, but here he was alone, exposed, the eyes of hundreds of people on him and this song now meant more to him than he thought it ever had.

 

“Hiya, my name's Louis and umm, this next song is pretty important to me. I hope you like it.” 

 

Louis locked eyes with Harry as the music started and he began. The bar was filled with Louis’ angelic voice, reverberating off the walls, filling every space as the crowd sang along quietly at the choruses, letting Louis’ voice shine. 

 

Harry hadn't broken eye contact with Louis as he'd sung, his ‘Louis’ smile growing with each word that Louis sung, and by the time Louis reached the final part of the song, Harry had stood up, slowly making his way through the crowd, the people around him parting like the red sea to let him through. 

 

**_… It's always have and never hold_ **

**_You've begun to feel like home, yeah_ **

**_What's mine is yours to leave or take_ **

**_What's mine is yours to make your own_ **

 

**_Oh, oh_ **

**_Oh, oh_ **

**_Be my baby_ **

 

**_Oh, oh_ **

**_Oh, oh_ **

**_Be my baby_ **

**_I'll look after you_ **

**_After you_ **

 

The crowd cheered as the track ended and there was Harry, standing right in front of Louis with a tear trickling down his cheek. Louis stepped around the microphone and kissed Harry gently, the crowd continuing to cheer for them and he knew then he'd chosen the right song to sing. 

 

…..

 

Harry couldn't wipe the smile off of his face. Louis had sung so beautifully, the lyrics piercing his heart, reaffirming to him that Louis was in this for the long haul just like he was. But the more of the boys that sang, the more scattered Harry's thoughts became, unable to keep the swirling thoughts in his head in check. Add to that Louis’ love declaration and Harry was a mess. He needed air. He needed a time out and so he excused himself, heading to the bathroom. 

 

Mark moved silently through the crowd after Harry, keeping his distance but still close enough if he was needed. Thankfully the male toilets were empty, the same, however, could not be said for the women's, a queue twenty women long waiting to enter. 

 

Harry stared at his reflection in the long mirror above the sinks. His skin looked washed out against his chocolate curls under the harsh fluorescent lights and the white stripes on his pants were blinding. He noted that even to himself he looked conflicted, his eyes sad, but he was struggling. He needed to let his emotions out. He needed a release, an emotional bloodletting. He was young, beautiful, famous but all of those things didn't matter at that moment.  All that mattered was his happiness, Louis’ happiness but once again his career was standing in the way of that. It hit him then what he had to do and he darted out of the bathroom to Liam belting out a Michael Jackson classic. 

 

As he neared the young man who took the song requests and operated the Karaoke machine, Liam launched into Harry's favourite part of the song, his mood lifting with his renewed purpose.

 

**_… Get me out_ **

**_Into the night time_ **

**_Four walls won't hold me tonight_ **

**_If this town_ **

**_Is just an apple_ **

**_Then let me take a bite_ **

 

**_If they say_ **

**_Why, Why, tell ‘em that it's human nature_ **

**_Why, Why, does he do it that way_ **

 

**_If they say_ **

**_Why, why, tell ‘em that it's human nature_ **

**_Why, why, does he do me that way…_ **

 

Harry moved closer to the young man, whose name turned out to be Ash, and whispered his request into his ear. As it turned out, Harry had been up next and he smiled at Louis as he stood awkwardly behind the microphone, a deafening scream accompanying him. 

 

“Hi, my name's Harry. This next one is dedicated to someone very important to me. Sorry if it's a bit moody. Nobody likes a buzzkill I know, but I have Twitter, I've seen plenty of requests to cover this song, so here we go.” 

 

The crowd cheered as the song began and Harry noted the look of utter shock on Louis’ face as the words rumbled out of him. The crowd was silent by the end of the first verse, die hard fans shushing anyone who dared even breathe too loudly and Harry had them all under his spell.

 

**_… Dear Lord, when I get to heaven_ **

**_Please let me bring my man_ **

**_When he comes tell me that you'll let him in_ **

**_Father tell me if you can_ **

**_All that grace_ **

**_All that body_ **

 

At this line Harry ran his hands suggestively over his body, moaning obscenely into the microphone, Louis’ eyes growing wider by the second. 

 

**_All that face makes me wanna party_ **

**_He's my sun, he makes me shine_ **

**_Like diamonds_ **

 

**_Will you still love me_ **

**_When I'm no longer young and beautiful?_ **

**_Will you still love me_ **

**_When I've got nothing but my aching soul?_ **

**_I know you will, I know you will_ **

**_I know that you will_ **

 

**_Will you still love me_ **

**_When I'm no longer beautiful?_ **

**_Will you still love me_ **

**_When I'm no longer beautiful?_ **

**_Will you still love me_ **

**_When I'm no longer young and beautiful?_ **

 

…. 

 

“I can't believe the nerve of that fucking loser, how dare he call you a faggot!” Louis was yelling, waving his cigarette around wildly as Harry tried to reason with him and calm him down, Mark standing close by them.

 

“Lou, baby, please calm down. He's not worth it. I'm fine, honestly.”

 

“That's not the bloody point, Haz! It doesn't matter whether or not you’re fine. The point is that narrow minded, homophobic assholes should keep their comments to themselves.”

 

“I know,” Harry sighed, knowing he was getting nowhere. “But you standing out here ranting and raving in the cold isn't going to change that. Please Lou, please calm down, for me.”

 

Harry was starting to rethink the earlier request he'd made to Ash, not knowing if it would exacerbate the current situation, but he needed to know. He needed to know it hadn't been coincidence that the boys and himself sounded amazing together, that it wasn't a fluke. He needed to know the unrealistic pressure he was under as a “celebrity” hadn't made him delusional. Plus if anything, it would piss off the idiot with the fragile masculinity, so he pressed on.

 

“Plus I need you to sing the next song with me, you, Liam and Niall. Can you do that for me? Will you sing with me Lou?”

 

Louis looked at Harry with a confused expression on his face but nodded anyway. 

 

“Of course I will, Haz. You know I'll always sing with you.” 

 

Harry smiled his ‘Louis’ smile and Louis stubbed out his cigarette, letting Harry wrap him up in his arms. Harry smelled of vanilla, fruit tingles and ‘Harry’ and Louis instantly relaxed into his hold. 

 

“Thank you for being my anchor, Harry, for keeping me grounded. I don't know what I'd do without you,” Louis mumbled into Harry's chest.

 

“I love you,” was Harry’s reply and before Louis could get riled up again, Harry steered them back into the bar, Mark on their heels.

 

…..

 

“It's that time of the evening ladies and gentlemen, the last song of the night,” Ash was saying to a steady stream of boos from the gathered crowd.

 

“I know, I know, boo! But liquor licencing and all that.” This earned him a laugh and he was happy he wasn't going to have a riot on his hands.

 

“As you all are aware, the wonderful Harry Styles is here tonight. As a special treat to close the night, he's agreed to sing one more song for us, accompanied by his good friends Louis, Niall and Liam, who I think you'll all agree were wonderful tonight.” 

 

The crowd cheered and screamed, the loudest cheers coming from Dea, Caroline and Zayn with the exception of the asshole from earlier who was continuing to boo. 

 

Harry could see Louis stiffen beside him, anger flashing across his face and he bent down to whisper in his ear as Ash prattled on.

 

“Ignore him Lou, he's not worth it.” 

 

Louis took a deep breath, trying to regain control of his temper, schooling his face into what he hoped was a neutral expression and not a grimace.

 

“What have you chosen to sing for us Harry?” Ash asked.

 

“Well, I figured I'd sing something that will show off our voices, give you guys your money's worth and all that. It's also from one of my favourite movies of all time, so I better see all the couple's in here doing the infamous pose!” He said, charm oozing from him in waves. 

 

“So the song we will be singing for you is…. My Heart Will Go On! If you know the words, please do sing along. And don't forget to fly!”

 

“Without further ado, here they are, one last time, Harry, Louis, Niall and Liam!” 

 

The crowd went wild as Ash handed Harry back the microphone he and Louis would be sharing. 

 

Harry's heart was beating wildly in his chest as the opening notes of the song began. They'd not rehearsed this, hadn't decided who would sing what and in no time at all, this could turn out to be a disaster. But it hadn't been when they'd sung before, again unrehearsed and he prayed this time would be the same. This had to work. It had to. 

 

“Here goes nothing,” Harry whispered, and they began.

 

**_Every night in my dreams_ **

**_I see you, I feel you_ **

**_That is how I know you go on_ **

 

Harry looked at the boys, no doubt a stunned look on his face. They'd done it again. One verse in and Harry knew. Liam had joined Harry, carrying the main melody of the song with both Louis and Niall harmonizing and it was beautiful. 

 

**_Far across the distance_ **

**_And spaces, between us_ **

**_You have come to show you go on_ **

 

It was at the chorus that their voices really came together and Harry could feel the tears prickling at the back of his eyes.

 

**_Near, far, wherever you are_ **

**_I believe that the heart does, go on_ **

**_Once more, you open the door_ **

**_And you're here in my heart and_ **

**_My heart will go on and on_ **

 

Was this real? We're they really doing this? This was too good to be true. Even the crowd were stunned at how great they sounded together, but the real test was coming. Who would it be? Who was brave enough to go for those high notes at the end? Harry was nervous but excited to find out. But when Louis nodded, signalling he was about to take the first section for himself,  and without even thinking about it Harry stepped up behind Louis, holding his waist and Louis’ arms slowly moved up from his sides, reaching outwards. 

 

**_You're here, there's nothing I fear_ **

**_And I know that my heart will, go on_ **

 

Liam and Niall simply hugged each other, continuing the back up vocals and let Harry and Louis have their moment and it was beautiful, Harry unable to contain his tears now.

 

**_We'll stay, forever this way_ **

**_You are safe in my heart and_ **

**_My heart will go on and on._ **

 

The crowd erupted, not a dry eye in the house and Harry couldn't help but kiss Louis, his emotions running wild.  Harry could feel Louis smiling into the kiss and Harry felt like his heart may explode he was so happy, relieved, awed.

 

But it was then that he heard it and the crowd fell silent.

 

“Get off the fucking stage, you faggots! You and your fairy, long haired, cock loving boyfriend don't belong here!”

 

Louis spun around to face the man so fast that Harry stumbled, and before anyone could react, Louis and the man were nose to nose. 

 

“The fuck did you just say to me?” Louis growled, his hands clenched into fists at his sides, knuckles white. 

 

“You heard me, faggot,” The other man said and spat in Louis face. 

 

Louis wiped the spit from his face with the back of his hand. 

 

“How, fucking, dare you….” He breathed, people backing away from the pair slowly. 

 

From there, it was just a blur. Harry felt stuck to the floor as he watched on helplessly as Louis swung his fist at the man's face, connecting with a sickening crack. There was a howl as the man stumbled around, Harry watching in horror as the man grabbed his empty pint glass from the table beside him, swinging it around wildly. There was a smash as it caught the edge of the table, and Harry felt horror-struck as the man drunkenly moved towards Louis, wielding the now shattered glass as a weapon. Louis noticed the glass and went to duck away from a particularly vicious swing, but in his inebriated state he was too slow to avoid it. The side of the glass struck his head heavily, and he crumpled to the floor. There was silence for a moment before someone started screaming, setting off a chain reaction of angry cries and frantic voices calling for an ambulance. Mark had pinned the man up against a wall, holding him there while Harry stumbled across to Louis, who was unmoving on the floor.

 

“Louis? Oh my god, Lou-” Harry bit back a sob as he mopped at the cut on Louis’ head with a napkin someone had thrust at him, and he felt sick as Louis didn't stir, staying motionless on the floor, the blood continuing to trickle from the wound, shouts and cries around Harry just white noise by now. “Louis, baby, help’s coming, I’m right here…” He reached out and grabbed Louis’ hand, squeezing it with his own, and ignored the tears tumbling from his eyes, landing on Louis’ beer stained shirt, willing more than anything for Louis to be okay. The alternative didn't even bare thinking about. 


	16. Hospitals, Empty Threats And Bittersweet Reunions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry recives a phone call that could change the course of his future whilst they await news of Louis, will it be the news they're hoping for?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all let me start by apologising for the extremely lengthy delay of this chapter. It's been a process to say the least and nothing has seemed to go right for me with this one. But IT'S FINALLY HERE! YAY!
> 
> Secondly I'd like to express my love and gratitude to every single one of you. Thank you for taking the time to read this story, for following along and for putting up with my tardy update schedule. Your support is appreciated more than you will ever know.
> 
> And last but certainly by no means least a huge thank you to the ever amazing Chloe @oneolddirection . You keep me legit, keep me focused and call me out on my shit. Thank you for holding my hand through this process and helping me to achieve the best out of this story. I love you and your love and support means so much to me.
> 
> So without further ado, here she is, chapter 16. 
> 
> Please feel free to come say hi on Twitter @TheirGoldenFool is where you can find me.
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> All the love.
> 
> Z x

Harry was torn between feeling angry, guilty and terrified as news anchor after news anchor spewed the same misinformed nonsense on almost every channel. He'd been trying to tune it out for hours, trying to ignore the constant drivel but it was becoming difficult to ignore. News had travelled fast, everyone who was anyone thinking they knew what had happened that night, but in true Hollywood fashion, idiotic and untruthful versions of events were blowing up headlines worldwide. All too soon, Harry had become overwhelmed, his emotions fragile. 

The longer he sat in the crowded waiting room of the hospital's Emergency Department, the harder it became. Security formed a wall between Harry and the sea of fans and paparazzi outside the doors, cameras flashing, voices yelling, a constant banging on the doors and windows. Harry couldn't help but listen. He needed to know what he was up against, needed to know what lies were being told, but he was also trying to hold the bile at bay that rose in his throat as the vicious rumours crowded his mind. Hot, angry tears streamed down his cheeks. Harry sat with his head in his hands, staring at the cold linoleum floor of the waiting room as Jay ran a hand up and down his arm, trying to offer him some comfort.

**_“The rumoured boyfriend of Pop megastar Harry Styles is fighting for life in a Melbourne Hospital this morning. It's reported that he was the victim of a vicious attack that happened at FM Karaoke Bar in Melbourne, only mere hours ago. Sources close to the pair have said that…”_ **

A nurse stood at the triage desk, a sour expression on her face, flicking through the channels, trying to find something more cheerful for the people littering the waiting area to watch. But she was having no luck. Every time she changed the channel the rumours only got worse; Harry's personal life, or what they thought they knew of it, being projected back at him.

**_“Lewis Tomlinson, a confirmed fan of singing sensation, Harry Styles, is reported to be in police custody at  St Vincent's Hospital in Melbourne after instigating a vicious bar brawl. It is reported that Tomlinson was injured during the attack. Sources have confirmed that this is not the first time Tomlinson has been at the centre of such controversy after being pictured mobbing Styles at an event at the exclusive  Melbourne nightclub Lux, back in April. It is said that Tomlinson kissed the star as he was entering the nightclub, before being detained by Styles’ security….”_ **

**_“A source has revealed that tension between Styles and Tomlinson was high in the hours leading up to the brawl. It is reported that Louis Tomlinson, an obsessed fan of English Pop sensation Harry Styles, had been harassing Styles all night. Witnesses have said that it appeared as though Styles’ security was lacking, leading a member of the public to take matters into his own hands. It's then reported that Tomlinson became verbally and physically aggressive after being asked to leave the establishment and the as yet unidentified man was forced to defend himself…..”_ **

“Mark, please ask the nurse to switch that off. None of us need to hear it,” Jay said through gritted teeth, indicating to the television mounted on the wall opposite them. Mark nodded, offering her a sympathetic smile and moved towards the triage desk. Harry jerked his head up as Jay spoke.

“You didn't have to do that Jay,” Harry said, voice gravelly, wiping roughly at his face with his sleeve.

“Yes I did. I don't want or need to listen to this utter, excuse me,  _ bullshit _ , about my own son and you don't need to hear it either. It’s not doing anyone any good. We know the truth Harry, we know what happened, that's all that matters.”

“How long has he been back there, Jay? Why haven't we heard anything?” Harry asked, tears still trickling gently down his cheeks despite his best efforts to contain them.

“It's been a few hours. But from what you've said happened, it's standard procedure unfortunately,” Jay said, squeezing Harry's arm gently.

“I know,” Harry sighed, “but why does it take so long?”

“Well, they would have had to get a doctor to assess his wounds, possibly send him for a CT scan to make sure that he has no brain injuries, as well as X-rays to see if there are any fragments of glass in places they can't visibly see and to make sure his skull isn't fractured. That all takes time, Harry.”

“What… what if… what if he's -” Harry whimpered, fear and panic starting to rise.

“No, don't you dare. Don't you dare finish that sentence Harry Edward Styles,” Jay said sternly, cutting Harry off mid sentence. “No news is good news. He's fine, he'll be fine. He, he has to be….”

Harry whined, a long, high pitched sound and Jay scooped him up into her arms, holding him tightly, rocking him slowly as they both wept. Harry knew he was overreacting, but since he'd been in Australia he'd seen countless ads on television for the One Punch Kills campaign. That could so easily have been and still could be Louis and his heart ached at the thought.

“I-I’m s-s-so sorry Jay, it's all m-my f-fault, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry…”

“Shh, baby boy, shh,” Jay cooed, tears dripping from the end of her chin to mingle in Harry's curls. “It's not your fault love, why are you so adamant that you're to blame?”

Harry sat up, still in Jay’s tight grip, taking in a shaky lungful of air trying to steady himself enough to speak. Jay’s eyes, so much like Louis’, studied him for a moment before Harry bowed his head, wringing his hands together in his lap.

“Because… because I was selfish.”

“Selfish how?” Jay asked gently, no hint of anger or frustration in her voice.

“I, I wanted-,” Harry stopped, choosing his next words carefully. After the events of last night he wasn't sure what he wanted any more so chose to stick with the facts.

“I made him come back inside with me. I made him sing the bloody song. The man who attacked him had been spouting bullshit at us, mainly directed at me, for over an hour before Mark and I managed to drag Louis outside for a cigarette to calm him down. But instead of just asking Mark to take us home, I asked him to come back inside and sing with me.” Harry glanced up at Jay through his lashes, her expression neutral, her eyes gentle. Harry continued on with an encouraging nod of her head.

“His attacker was even booing us before we'd even started the song and yet, I still continued on anyway, knowing full well a man like that would not appreciate two men singing a love song. Well, four men but you know what I mean. He'd made it abundantly clear how he felt about us, or me, more specifically. I still don't understand what it is I did that pissed him off so much. It's not as if we were the only “gay” couple there. Liam and Zayn were there, Dea and Caroline were there and I'm sure there were plenty more people from the community in that bar.”

Harry sighed heavily shaking his head. Jay stroked his hair, pushing wayward curls behind his ear as his breathing returned to normal, save for a sigh that escaped him in between bouts of speaking.

“He was defending me, Jay. He was defending me because of all of the awful things that were being said about us, about me. That's how he ended up hurt. That's how he ended up lying unconscious on the disgusting floor of a Karaoke bar with shards of glass in his face. It's my fault.”

Jay tilted Harry's head so that he was looking at her, a smile crossing her lips, the corners of her eyes crinkling just like Louis’ did.

“Why are you smiling?” Harry asked, a stunned look on his face.

“Because no one in that bar would have been able to stop Louis from defending you if they'd tried, Harry. It's not the first time that he's ended up flat on his back in a hospital bed coming to someone's aid. He loves you Harry, so much I think it scares him most of the time, so of course he defended you. That doesn't make it your fault, love.”

“This has happened before? With Ben?”

“God no,” Jay laughed, Harry still looking perplexed beside her. “I think Lou was about 12 maybe, it wasn't long before we moved to Australia. We'd gone on a holiday to Tenerife with his best friend Stan and his family. A final farewell trip of sorts. We were staying in a lovely villa overlooking the beach and it had taken the boys all of an hour to discover a rock pool at the far side of the beach. Of course I warned both of them not to go near it without an adult, so had Stan’s parents, but when do 12 year old boys ever listen to their parents?”

A small smile played on Harry's lips as Jay recounted her story, warmth and laughter filling her eyes as she spoke.

“The next day we'd had a big morning, exploring the sights and doing all the usual tourist rubbish and we'd decided to have a nap before a late lunch. The boys had other plans though. They waited until the rest of us were sleeping and snuck down to the rock pools.”

“What happened?” Harry asked, his fear and anger slowly abating as Jay’s soothing voice washed over him.

“Louis said they'd been down there about an hour when the tide started to roll back in. It wasn't until a wave crashed over them that they'd realised. Stan had been standing on the edge of the rock pool closest to the water and as the second wave broke over the rock pool, he was swept off the edge and into the water. Of course Lou was having none of that. He wasn't about to let his best friend drown. He jumped down into the rock pool so he could use the edge to anchor himself so he could drag Stan back to safety. It wasn't till much later that night that we even found out anything had happened. We'd have been none the wiser if Louis’ foot hadn't puffed up like a beach ball. It was angry and sore and he had tiny pin prick holes in the sole of his foot. We took him to the nearest doctor and as it turns out, he’d stepped on an Urchin when he’d jumped into the rock pool to save Stan. He spent the next three days of the trip in hospital on strong antibiotics.”

Harry couldn't help the snort of laughter that escaped him. His quiet giggles soon turned into full belly laughs and he leaned into Jay to support himself, both of them laughing hysterically now.

“I'm sure I have a photo of him somewhere in a rather unflattering hospital gown, flashing his bum to the camera,” Jay continued, gasping out the words between bouts of laughter.

“I… I don't get what that has to do with him getting glassed, but it's a pretty funny story. I feel better if anything,” Harry said, back to gasping for breath again, wiping tears of laughter from his face.

“Ok, so maybe stepping on an Urchin in Tenerife isn't quite as serious as this, but the moral of the story remains the same. He will do anything to protect the ones he loves, even if that means putting himself in danger to do so. He's always been that way. Fiercely loyal and protective and he loves with his whole heart. A heart he's given to you Harry.”

Harry looked at Jay then, love and admiration evident on her face. All Harry could do was nod, swallowing a fresh lump in his throat.

“I know Jay. It's one of the many reasons why I love him. And he has my whole heart too. He always will. No matter what happens.”

“Well then, no more tears love. No more beating yourself up. If I know Lou, which I hope I do, he was off like a shot and all over that man before anyone had a chance to react. Am I right?”

Harry sighed again. “Yeah, you're right.”

“He's head strong, love. Always has been and always will be. As much as I'm terrified of what the doctors may say, I'm just thankful that you weren't hurt too. This could have been much worse.”

“I know Jay, but, there was just so much blood…” Harry heaved a sigh, vowing he'd cry no more tears, not in front of anyone anyway. “I was just so scared. He wouldn't wake up, Jay. I'm still terrified that they're going to tell us something awful.”

“I know baby, I know. You were so brave. Us nurses and doctors are trained to deal with the horrors that come through those doors. You did so much to help him even if it doesn't feel like you did. And if it's news we don't want to hear...then we'll figure it out together ok? We'll be fine, I promise you.”

Harry nodded, resting his head on Jay’s shoulder. Both of them were scared and tired, seeking comfort in each other as minute after minute passed by, hoping they'd hear some news soon and praying it would be good.

  
  


…..

 

Niall and Lottie had been escorted into the hospital a little after 6am with a bag of fresh clothes and personal items for Harry and Louis. They were both exhausted, neither of them having slept either but they chose to stay until they heard news of Louis. The kind nurse behind the triage desk had allowed Harry to use a vacant bathroom in the Emergency ward to shower and change out of his bloody clothes, encouraging him to take as long as he liked. He'd taken her advice and let the hot water wash some of his worries away. Not long after, Harry had settled himself next to Jay again, strong coffee in hand when a doctor finally appeared in front of them.

“Tomlinson?” He asked in way of greeting, a kind smile on his face.

“Yes!” Harry, Jay and Lottie said in unison. Both the doctor and Niall laughed at them, the tension visible between the three of them.

“Good morning, my name is Dr. Thian Barnard. Are you Louis’ family?” He said in a distinct South African accent.

“Hi, I'm Louis’ boyfriend Harry, Harry Styles,” Harry said, putting his coffee down and standing to shake the doctors hand. “I'm so terribly sorry about all of this,” he said, gesturing towards the line of fans, paparazzi and security still camped out front. “Your job is hard enough without all of that.”

“Don't worry yourself about that Harry. It's not the first time a celebrity or celebrity relative has been to St Vincent's. This is not the first time we've had a gathering like this and it won't be the last. But I can assure you, the level of patient care is never affected, it's all just part of the job.”

Harry gave him a tight lipped smile as Jay, Lottie and Niall introduced themselves. This was it, the news they'd been waiting for.

“It's lovely to meet you all,” Dr Barnard began. “I am so terribly sorry for the wait, it's been an extremely busy night and patient care is obviously our top priority.”

The group nodded at him in understanding, the tension now palpable.

“I do, however, have some good news. The short answer is that Louis is fine and he has sustained no long term injuries.”

As the words registered in Harry's brain, his legs gave way, Niall catching him before he hit the floor, sitting him back in the chair he’d risen from. Tears Harry hadn't realised had been fighting to break free were tumbling down his cheeks and an overwhelming sense of relief filled every fibre of his being.

“Oh thank God,” he could hear Jay repeating over and over again as she held Lottie tightly, all of them relieved to hear good news. It was Niall who asked the hard question.

“Wait, you said the short answer. What's the long answer doc?”

“Ah yes. The long answer is that he has some superficial cuts and bruises as well as a few deeper lacerations to his temple area and cheek. He also suffered a mild concussion which combined with the alcohol he'd consumed during the night caused his unconsciousness. We performed X-rays and a CT scan and there are no skull or facial fractures or internal bleeding or swelling of the brain. We were also able to remove all of the glass, none of them embedded too deep thankfully. We'd like to keep him here a little while longer to make sure he's ok but he should be fine to go home in a few hours. He was very lucky he wasn't more seriously injured.”

“Is he awake?” Lottie asked when he’d finished speaking.

“Yes, he has been for about a half hour or so. We just wanted to monitor him to make sure there were no delayed side effects of the concussion. He's been charming all of the nurses since he woke up, promising them all autographs from Harry as thanks for taking such great care of him.”

Everyone laughed then, a wobbly smile appearing on Harry's face, unable to believe that his Louis was ok, that besides a few cuts and bruises he was still his normal charming self.

“Can… can we see him?” Harry asked, his throat feeling as though it was in tatters, his voice hoarse from the endless hours of crying.

“Of course. I'll get a nurse to show you to his room shortly, however we prefer that it be a maximum of two people at a time.”

“Thank you so much for all that you have done for him, we are so grateful,” Jay said, shaking the doctor’s hand one last time before he moved away to speak to a nurse near the triage desk.

 

…..

 

Shortly after Dr Barnard had bid his goodbye, a stocky, dark haired nurse with a nose ring and tattoos named Joel came to show them to Louis’ room. Harry and Niall had spent almost five minutes convincing Lottie and Jay to go first, Harry deeming that as his mother and sister they took precedence. Jay gave him a sympathetic  look, her eyes almost sad knowing how much Harry wanted to see Louis, but Harry ushered them in Joel's direction, reassuring Jay once again that another half an hour of waiting wouldn't make much difference.

Harry decided that he should be productive while he waited, taking out his phone and calling his Mum, Dea and Liam to let them all know that Louis was ok and would be able to come home sooner than they'd all expected. They all expressed their relief that Louis was ok, Dea more so than the others and they all sent their love to them both. Niall had clearly had a similar idea, frantically scrolling through his phone as Harry ended his call with Liam, but as his eyes widened and his mouth fell open in disbelief, Harry began to panic.

“Um, Haz, you need to see this,” he said. Harry silently took the phone from Niall, swallowing hard before he looked down at the screen.

Tweet after tweet from fans all over the world littered the feed, expressing their most sincere love and best wishes for Louis’ speedy recovery, some of them moving Harry so much that he fought to hold back yet more tears. It was heartwarming to know that his fans loved Louis just as much as they loved him, Niall’s army of Larrie’s leading the charge. Harry hadn't told anyone but he secretly loved that he and Louis had their own “ship” and a fan base dedicated solely to their love for each other. It was a constant reminder that sometimes people  _ do _ fall in love at first sight. That sometimes people  _ do _ get to experience that all consuming love that inspires beautiful poetry and heart wrenching music. And he would be forever thankful that he'd met his one and he got the chance to know what that kind of love was like.

It didn't take long for Harry's rapidly improving mood to plummet. It became abundantly clear the more he scrolled that not everyone on Twitter was a fan, a Larry supporter or even an ally of the LGBTQ+ community. He'd stumbled upon a grainy video of the attack on Louis, the footage appearing to have been taken on a toaster. It was hard to make out who was who, where they were or what was being said but it didn't take much to work it out. If Harry thought watching the video was bad, the memories of the night before hitting him like a freight train over and over again, then it was nothing to the barrage of hurtful and down right cruel comments that followed. Harry knew instantly that the situation was much worse than he'd first anticipated and was now awaiting the inevitable irate phone call from management. What he didn't expect however, was a phone call from Tay.

Harry passed Niall his phone back, his emotions fluctuating between upset and furious as his phone began vibrating in his lap. Tay’s name flashed across the screen and he sighed with relief answering it quickly.

“Hi T-”

“Oh my God Harry, I just heard what happened! Is Louis ok? Are you ok?” Tay rushed out, Harry barely getting a word out. He chuckled quietly at her outburst but happily reassured her that they were both ok.

“Hi Tay, we're fine. I mean Lou was hurt and we're still at the hospital but he's fine, minor cuts and bruises. He was very lucky.”

“Oh thank God. I was so worried Harry.  I'm so glad Louis is ok. I need to send him flowers or something. The reason I called though is because a Detective from Melbourne Police Department called and is requesting to interview all of you. I've managed to hold him off until tomorrow but don't be surprised if you get a phone call. He seems nice though.”

“Oh God, this day just keeps getting better and better,” Harry breathed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I'll let everyone know.”

“There’s, there's one more thing, umm...” she trailed off then, a horrible pregnant silence filling the gap in conversation.

“What is it, Tayari?” Harry said flatly, not liking the tone of voice Tay had taken on as she spoke.

“Um, well, now don't get mad Harry, I'm just the messenger,” she began, Harry scrunching his free hand into a fist, his knuckles white, knowing exactly where this was headed.

“Um so, Simon just called me… and well, he's not happy. I'm surprised you didn't hear him all the way from Melbourne. I think I have hearing loss in my left ear.”

“Get to the point please, Tay,” Harry said in as kind a tone as he could muster, effectively ending Tay’s nervous rambling.

“Right, um, he wants you in LA, like yesterday. He wants a meeting, in person.”

“Fuck!” Harry said, a little louder than he thought he had, all eyes now on him.

“I'm so sorry Harry. I know you want and need to be with Louis right now, and this has blown up and now the police are involved, but he wants you on the next flight out of Melbourne or he's threatening to cancel your contract.”

Harry saw red at Tay’s words. He knew it wasn't her fault, she was just passing on a message as was her job, but he was struggling to keep himself in check. He stood from where he was sitting next to Niall to pace up and down the waiting room, all eyes still on him. He ran an agitated hand through his hair, his rings catching on knots in his curls. He welcomed the pain, a distraction from his building anger and continued to force his fingers through his hair despite the resistance.

“Are you fucking kidding me right now Tay?” Harry said in a hushed whisper, his anger evident in his voice. “Louis only woke up an hour ago and I haven't even seen him yet, what is so urgent that he needs to see me himself?”

“I don't know Harry, I asked but he wouldn't tell me. He said it was above my pay grade to know such information. I tried Harry, I really did. I'm so sorry…”

“Hey, you listen to me Tay. This is not your fault, understand? Simon is the devil himself. That man doesn't have a kind or caring bone in his entire body. All he cares about is the money. Don't let him get to you. And let him end my contract. Right now I couldn’t give a shit about what he wants, about making him filthy rich while I suffer. I'm done, Tay. I can't do this anymore.”

“Harry, what are you saying?” Tay asked in utter shock.

“What I'm saying, for right now, is how much do you like working for me Tay? How loyal are you to me?”

“Harry, you’re like a brother to me, you know that. Why do you ask?”

“Because I may need you to come to Australia, for the foreseeable future. I need someone I can trust in my corner for what I have planned, but no one knows about this, about what I'm planning. I haven't spoken to anyone about it. Would you do that for me? Will you fight my corner with me, Tay?”

“Of course I will Haz, just say the word and I'm there.”

“Thank you Tay, it means a lot to me. But for now, can you book me on a red eye for Monday morning. I'll break the news to Lou tonight.”

“But Harry, there's five flights between now and then, I'm looking at them right now,” Tay said, her fear of Simon's wrath clear in her voice.

“And yet I'll be going on Monday. If that son of a bitch wants me there that badly then he can damn well wait until I'm good and ready.”

“Fair point well made, as always. I'll arrange everything and email you all the details. Give Louis my love. I miss him, and I miss you too Harry.”

“He misses you too love, we both do. I'll let him know you’re asking after him and you send your love. And Tay, thank you. We'll see you soon, yeah?”

“You're welcome, Harry. See you both soon.”

With that, Tay ended the call and Harry headed back over to where Niall was sitting, still staring at him. He gave Harry a weird look as he sat down.

“What's that look for?” Harry asked.

“I'm proud of you Haz, real proud,” he said, having overheard most of his conversation. Niall wrapped Harry in a fierce hug then. Harry felt in that moment decidedly more confident about the decisions he'd soon have to make and let Niall’s warmth and friendship wash away all thoughts of the shit show that was about to come.

 

…..

 

Harry walked along the quiet corridor behind a kind nurse named Susie. She'd come to show him to Louis’ room shortly after Jay and Lottie had returned. Niall had opted to go with the girls to get something to eat from the cafeteria, despite Harry’s protests. Niall knew that both Harry and Louis needed time on their own and he had reminded Harry, that just like Harry had pointed out to Lottie and Jay earlier, another half hour or so wouldn't kill him. 

Harry was excited to see Louis, to see for himself that he was in fact ok, just like Dr Barnard had said, but he was also inexplicably nervous, his stomach twisting in knots. He wasn't sure how long they'd been walking for, or how many corridors they'd turned down, the cold fluorescent lights and shiny floors that felt slightly sticky, all looking exactly the same to him.

Would Louis be happy to see him? Or would he blame him for what had happened? Would he open up to Harry about how he felt? Or would he shut him out? All of these questions bounced around in Harry's head and he rubbed at the back of his neck trying to ease the tension headache he could feel building now.

“Here we are, love,” Susie said, coming to a sudden stop and pointing to a closed door she was standing in front of. “Take as long as you like, if you need anything, please don't hesitate to ask.”

“Oh, um, thank you,” Harry said, nodding his head although he wasn't entirely sure what Susie had said to him. He hadn't been paying the slightest bit of attention to her and he hoped she hadn't said anything important.

Susie smiled at him kindly, patting him on the shoulder as she walked by him and Harry waited until she'd disappeared down another corridor before he turned to face the door. Harry took a deep breath and gripped the door handle tightly. He swallowed heavily and let the door handle go again, sweat now dotting his brow. He was being ridiculous. He'd not been this nervous since his first ever sold out stadium show and this was certainly not that. It was Louis, his Louis. His sun, his home, his everything. “Get it together, Styles,” he whispered as he shook out his curls. He swept them back off of his face then, took another deep breath and quickly barged into the room before he could overthink it any more than he already had.

Louis’ head snapped up when his room door flew open then slammed shut. His blue eyes met Harry’s green ones and neither spoke as Harry stood against the door, breathing heavily. It was Louis who broke the silence.

“Harry…” he breathed, his voice groggy and slow, his eyes roaming over Harry’s body.

“Louis….” Harry whined back, the flood gates opening as he took in Louis’ bruised and disheveled appearance. He crumpled in on himself, overcome with emotion again, covering his face with his hands. He was sobbing uncontrollably again, tears he didn't know he had left to cry staining his cheeks, snot running from his nose.

“Come here love, come on,” Louis said gently, “Please don't cry.”

Harry stumbled his way over to the bed as Louis moved gingerly over to allow Harry room on his uninjured side. Harry crawled onto the bed beside Louis, curling his long limbs in on himself as Louis wrapped his strong arms around him.

Harry buried his face gently into the crook of Louis’ neck then, not caring that Louis would no doubt end up covered in snot and tears and hugged him tightly to him.

“Shh my love, shh, I'm fine. I'm right here,” Louis cooed, kissing Harry's temple. It broke Louis’ heart to see Harry like this, made all the more unbearable by the knowledge that he was the reason for Harry's tears.

Louis continued to hold Harry close, whispering words of love and reassurance in his ear. He let Harry cry away his worries and after a few minutes, Harry's sobs eased and he finally lifted his head, peering up at Louis through his long lashes. Harry wiped furiously at his face with his sleeve, the tears now stopped, but his face remained red and puffy.

“I'm sorry. I promised Jay I'd stop crying, but I'm just so relieved. You're ok Lou, you're still here,” Harry said, his voice weak.

“You have nothing to apologise for Haz,” Louis said. “If anyone should be apologising  it's me. If I hadn't stuck my big wellies in it we wouldn't even be having this conversation.”

Harry’s eyes scanned over Louis’ face as he spoke, his hand coming up to cup Louis’ cheek, stopping just shy of making contact with Louis’ skin. Louis nodded his head gently, neither of them moving their gaze from the others and Harry gently brushed his fingertips over the bruises and bandages that marred Louis’ beautiful face.

Harry's face fell as his eyes moved to where his fingertips were, a lump forming again in his throat.

“Lou, your beautiful face…” Harry whispered, his forehead resting now against Louis’.

“You are beautiful enough for the both of us Haz, and scars are sexy so there's always that.”

Harry giggled at Louis’ words despite himself, but it was short lived, the words he’d needed say for hours leaving his mouth before he could stop them.

“I was so scared, Lou. There was so much blood and it wouldn't stop. I tried to stop it but it just… and the noise when your head hit the floor…. you wouldn't wake up, and people were screaming.”

Louis gasped at Harry's words. He'd assumed it had been bad, but when confronted with the look of fear in Harry's eyes and the pain in his voice, it hit home just how bad it could have been. Louis gripped Harry's face in his hands then, his eyes boring into Harry's again as he spoke.

“I am so, so, sorry Harry. I should have ignored him or asked Mark to deal with him. I was only trying to protect you. When he swung at me with that glass, our entire future flashed before my eyes. All I saw was you, us. The life we could have together and then everything started to turn black, it all just slipping away from me and all I could feel was the pain. I swear to you Harry I will never put myself in danger like that again. I'll make this up to you, even if it takes me the rest of my life to do it. I swear to you I will. I love you so much Harry. I'm so sorry.”

Harry looked at Louis for what felt to him like the longest time before he whispered, “Can I kiss you Lou? Please? Please let me kiss you…” Louis nodded his head and brought his lips up to meet Harry’s, the kiss soft and tender.

Their lips moved in unison, a practised ease that belied the mere months they’d known each other. Louis held onto Harry tightly as they kissed, afraid that if he let go he'd be gone and Louis would be alone again. They kissed like that, slowly, lovingly for how long neither of them knew nor cared.

It was sweet and tender, Harry pouring all the love and fear and relief he felt into his kisses. He hoped Louis knew just how much he needed him and just how terrified he'd been at the prospect of there being something terribly wrong with Louis. They were lost in each other, silently pouring their hearts out to each other through their kisses, their lips mere brushes of soft skin but it felt right and it was enough.

There came a loud knock at the door then, both of them startling and looking towards the offending noise. “Fuck…” Louis swore under his breath. “I can't even die in peace.” Harry tried to stifle a giggle in the crook of Louis’ neck, despite feeling a little put out at being interrupted. He knew it was for the best though. Louis was in no fit state for marathon snogging, he’d been bleeding and unconscious mere hours ago and Harry silently berated himself for not having kept their kiss brief.

After a moment, a second knock came and they shared another swift kiss before they both sat up a bit in Louis’ tiny hospital bed. Harry adjusted the blankets, making sure that Louis was covered more so than himself and held out an arm, allowing Louis to snuggle against him.

“Come in!” Louis called out after the third knock and the door swung open to reveal Joel, the nurse Harry had met earlier.

“Hey Louis, hey Harry, I hope I wasn't interrupting anything, just need to do Louis’ obs,” Joel said, wiggling his eyebrows at the pair of them.

“Piss off Joel,” Louis said. “You know full well you were interrupting something, you perv.”

Harry and Joel laughed at Louis’ sassy outburst, Harry shaking his head at him. There he was, his Louis. Alive, safe and well, sass firmly intact. Joel wheeled a machine with an array of cords around next to Louis then, placing the pulse oximeter on his finger and blood pressure cuff on his arm. He pressed a few buttons and the machine began to beep and flash.

“How do you put up with him?” Joel said then, pointing a thumb at Louis.

“He gives great head,” Harry deadpanned, before a smug grin appeared on his face, dimples popping.

Louis choked on a breath at Harry's words and Joel let out a honk of laughter. Harry's smug grin only grew wider, his comment having had the desired effect on both men. What he hadn't counted on though was Louis’ response.

“Harold! You can't say things like that! I mean, there's no denying I suck a mean cock. 8 inches, balls deep, no sweat, but Joel is a professional! He's trying to work here. Please try and have a little decorum, honestly.”

Harry had the decency to look scandalized then, Joel almost bent double with laughter, tears running down his cheeks as he gripped onto the I.V pole. It was attached to the head of the bed and it was the only thing keeping him from ending up in a heap on the floor.

“Am I interrupting?” Came a familiar voice from the doorway then. All three men turned their heads towards the door to find Dr Barnard standing there with an ill concealed smile on his face. Joel coughed, righting himself, his professional demeanour returning for the most part.

“I'm sorry this is taking so long, Dr Barnard,” Joel said, “Louis and Harry are just so funny, I can't get an accurate reading from Louis.”

“It's alright Joel. I'm glad Louis is feeling better.” Dr Barnard said, still smiling at the three of them.

“I am feeling surprisingly ok, considering,” Louis piped up, absentmindedly running a hand over the left side of his face.

“That's because the strong painkillers and anti inflammatories haven't worn off just yet,” Dr Barnard said. “Give it time, you'll feel like you've been hit by a freight train soon enough.”

“Yipee, I can't wait,” Louis replied, rolling his eyes and wincing at the sharp pain near his temple. “Wait… I think it's starting to wear off now. Thanks for the ten second heads up, doc.”

Harry and Joel laughed, Louis being his ever dramatic self. Harry couldn't keep the fond look from his eyes or the dopey expression from his face as he looked at Louis. He knew he looked like a love sick teenager, making doe eyed faces at his crush, but he honestly didn't care. Louis made him feel as though he was 16 again. He felt giddy, butterflies littering his stomach and odd sensations he couldn't quite describe danced along his skin. His throat felt dry, his hands were clammy and it was the most alive Harry thought he'd ever felt.

Joel had been methodically reapplying the pressure cuff and pulse oximeter to Louis’ body as he'd calmly spoken to Dr Barnard. Within a few moments, all of the corresponding monitors and alarms sounded out and Joel jotted the results down on the back of his hand, removing them again, before writing the results neatly in the chart Dr Barnard handed him.

Dr Barnard looked over the notes intently when Joel had finished, his brow creased. He flicked through a few pages, scribbling notes here and there and mumbling things under his breath to Joel neither Louis or Harry could hear.

“Well Louis, looks like everything is back to normal, well, besides the obvious and I'm happy to write up your discharge papers and let you go home,” Dr Barnard said, his smile back in place.

“That's brilliant news,” Harry said, his face lighting up at the doctors words.

“You have recovered remarkably well considering the state you were in a few hours ago, Louis. You're a tough one, I'll give you that.”

“Yeah, I've heard that before,” Louis said, a faint blush spreading across his cheeks. “There's a but though, isn't there? There always is.”

Dr Barnard chuckled, nodding his head. “Yes there's a but. Two buts actually. Firstly I am happy to allow you to go home on the proviso that you adhere to the pain management schedule we will give you. It's better to contain the pain to a minimum than to try and tackle it once it becomes too much for you to handle and you must have someone with you at all times for at least the next few days.”

Louis nodded his understanding, hating to be made to feel like an invalid but also understanding the need for a temporary babysitter. Dr Barnard pressed on.

“Secondly, we will transfer your notes to Frankston Private Hospital once you are discharged and they will take over your outpatient care. The team down there are wonderful, you'll be in good hands. You must make an appointment for Monday morning to have your wounds reviewed and your dressings changed.”

“I'll make sure he arranges that as soon as possible,” Harry interjected, earning him a sigh and an eye roll from Louis. Harry simply patted his knee knowing Louis hated to be fussed over or treated like a child, but Harry also knew he'd forget his head if it wasn't screwed on.

“And last but not least, I know I said two buts, however this one is a bonus prize. You are not to engage in any rigorous or strenuous physical activity until you have been cleared of your concussion by a doctor.”

Louis stared at him with a horrified expression and Harry thought he may be sick. They hadn't been without sex for more than 48 hours since Harry had been back from his “hiatus” and they both knew fine well that sex was included in the term “rigorous physical activities”. Louis wasn't sure he was going to be able to survive not being intimate with Harry, also knowing he wouldn't like the answer to what he wasn't about to ask next.

“And how long will that take? To be cleared I mean?” Louis asked, hoping that the words had sounded as nonchalant as he was pretending to be about the situation.

“Not long at all, I’d say two weeks at most,” Dr Barnard replied conversationally, turning to Joel then asking him to get Louis’ discharge papers, referrals and medication schedules ready.

He missed the look of anguish that both Harry and Louis shared then and the long suffering sigh that escaped Louis. Louis may have a concussion, but he wasn't dead and there was no way in hell he was waiting two bloody weeks to get his hands and his mouth on Harry again. Dr Barnard and Joel left shortly after and as Harry moved out of the room to fetch him some clothes to wear home, he devised his cunning plan, concussion be damned.


	17. Rejection, Regret and Puzzle Pieces

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry and Louis finally head home. Heated words are exchanged and Louis finds out about Harry's trip to LA.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well. This chapter took a dramatic turn I wasn't expecting but I think I like it better this way. 
> 
> A MASSIVE shout out to my babe Tayari who yelled at me in our chat at how much this chapter was killing her and for her amazing "puzzle pieces" line. Love you long time xx
> 
> I love you and I'm sorry. Thank you again for all of your support. 
> 
> All the love 
> 
>  
> 
> Z x

It was a little past 9am when Harry, Louis and the others finally made it back to the outskirts of Frankston. Harry, Louis and Mark had ridden in Louis’ car while Niall, Lottie, Jay and Louis’ newly appointed security guard, Rowan, rode in Jay’s car. Mark had made the executive decision to hire his most trusted friend to be Louis’ personal security after the events of the night before and Rowan had been happy to take on the roll, arriving at the hospital shortly after 7:30am, keen to start immediately. 

 

He was a short, burly man, not unlike Mark, with sandy blonde hair and soft blue eyes. He had a kind, almost baby face, but carried himself in a way that said he wasn't to be trifled with and Louis bonded quickly with the man. He joined in with Louis’ banter and he made Harry laugh, but he knew when to be serious, Louis’ safety his utmost concern. 

 

Both Harry and Louis had dozed off in the backseat of Louis’ car not long after they'd left the hospital as Mark drove them home. They looked happy and content, Mark thought, as he caught a glimpse of them in the rearview mirror. Both of them were slumped against their own respective windows, their breaths fogging up the glass, hands still linked between them even as they slept.

 

Mark had insisted on driving them, firstly because he'd been the one to drive them into the city in the first place. Secondly because both of them were sleep deprived and in no fit state to drive and thirdly for security reasons, despite Harry's protests.

 

Harry and Mark had, had a lengthy discussion about the possibility of their being yet more paparazzi, fans and news crews camped outside of Louis’ house, now that news of what had happened had been broadcast world wide. He'd assured Harry it wouldn't take long for them to figure out where Louis lived and that he wouldn't be surprised if they returned home to a mob just as big as the one still currently taking up residence in the hospital car park. 

 

Rowan had been quick to reassure a worried Jay that in the event that there was in fact a multitude of people crowding outside their house, that both himself and Mark were trained to deal with such situations and no harm would befall any of them. 

 

Harry wasn't worried about being hurt, or by the fact that his family's faces would once again be world wide news. His worry came in the form of a salt and pepper haired man, who liked to think he controlled every breath that Harry took. He was already in hot water with Simon, his record label and no doubt his manager Jeff and he was in no hurry to make the situation any worse than it needed to be. 

 

It had been as Louis had complained that he wished they'd been able to disguise themselves a little more or somehow throw them off that the idea had come to Harry and he'd acted quickly. He pulled his phone from his pocket, punching in a few numbers before holding his phone to his ear, listening as the phone dialled before the call was answered. 

 

“Harry, is everything ok?” Tay said as she picked up, her voice sounding groggy and full of sleep.

 

“Tay, oh I'm so sorry did I wake you?” Harry hurried out, feeling a little guilty now, but he was desperate and he needed her help.

 

“It's fine Harry, what's wrong?”

 

“I need you to do me a massive favour, please.”

 

“Sure, give me a second,” Harry could hear the rustle of what he assumed was Tay’s bed covers and a drawer sliding open and then closed. He waited until she was ready before he continued. “Ok, what is it you need?”

 

“I need you to book Louis and I into my regular suite at the Sofitel under our own names.”

 

“Um, ok. Any particular reason?” Tay asked a little confused, but Harry could hear her furiously scribbling down notes as he spoke. 

 

“I'm going to put out a tweet, let it slip that Louis and I can't wait to get back to our hotel, begin his recovery, yada yada, you know ham it up a bit. I need to throw the paps and fans off to give us enough time to get home.” 

 

Harry had looked to both Mark and Rowan then who'd silently nodded their agreement, giving his plan the go ahead.

 

“Here's a better idea,” Tay said then. 

 

“I'm listening.”

 

Harry inclined his head towards Mark and Rowan and they both crowded close to Harry, listening intently to Tay speak as best they could through the phone, still against Harry's ear. Harry made to put it on loud speaker so as to make it easier for all of them to follow along with the conversation, but Mark shook his head, wordlessly pointing towards the other curious people seated in the waiting room. 

 

“Well,” Tay continued. “How about I issue an official statement on your behalf, explaining that Louis is well, you are both tired, traumatised by the ordeal. No further statements at this time, the whole nine and then I can send out a tweet on HSHQ putting your location near the Sofitel. Does that work? I'll still book you in at the Sofitel though, because you know those vultures will call the hotel to confirm.”

 

“That sounds great Tay, I really appreciate this. I just need to get my family home and then they can camp out front of Louis’ place till the cows come home for all I care. I just don't think any of us can handle any more today.” 

 

At Harry's words Mark and Rowan both nodded, Louis and Jay both giving Harry the same crinkly-eyed smile at the use of the word family and all of a sudden the next few hours didn't seem as though they'd be as stressful. 

 

“I completely understand Harry. Give me ten minutes and I'll shoot through a copy of the press release. Although, why aren't you getting Anna to do this? I mean you know I don't mind, but she's head of PR.”

 

“Because, Simon pays her wages,Tay, I don't.”

 

“Of course. Ok, give me ten. I'll do it right now so that you can get home. Stay safe Harry.”

 

“Thanks Tay, I owe you one,” And with that Harry ended the call.

 

As promised within ten minutes Tay had emailed him a copy of the press release and booking information at the Sofitel neither of them would be using. A tweet had been sent out on HSHQ and Harry and the group had watched as the assembled crowd out front had excitedly dispersed. It may have been devious and Harry may have felt slightly guilty but it had worked and now they could all finally head home. 

 

…..

 

Jay unlocked the front door and they all wearily made their way inside. It was approaching half past nine now, but to Louis it felt much later, the only rest he'd had since Thursday night being the time he'd spent out cold in a hospital bed, and the uncomfortable nap he and Harry had shared in the car.

 

Everyone was exhausted, emotionally and physically drained and they'd all decided to head to bed regardless of the time of day. Lottie had opted to go to Niall’s place, now spending more and more time there and Louis knew it wouldn't be long before it became a permanent arrangement. Rowan had agreed to take them, Louis asking him if he’d mind keeping an eye on them and Rowan had agreed without complaint.

 

Jay however, argued that it was a silly idea for Lottie to go to Niall’s and split the group and security when they were all already there. There were beds aplenty, but Lottie had stated her need for “peace and quiet” which earned her a confused look from Jay. 

 

“Whatever pleases you love, I'm off to bed,” she sighed in defeat when she realised she wasn't going to change Lottie’s mind. “But please, for the love of God, all of you behave, stay safe and get some sleep. I'll see you all later no doubt.” She eyed all of them then, Mark and Rowan included and she kissed them all on the cheek quickly before she headed upstairs to bed.

 

Lottie followed behind her, returning not long after with a bag slung over her shoulder, the boys still meandering in the hallway. 

 

“Well, we're off, be gentle with him Haz,” Niall said with a wink, Harry's face turning red at his words. 

 

“Fuck you very much Niall and goodbye,” Louis said then with a fake smile, Niall laughing hysterically as Louis practically shoved him back out the front door, Rowan following along behind him with a smirk.

 

Louis kissed Lottie on the cheek then, thanking her for all she'd done to help him and Harry one last time. Harry gave her one more tight hug as she passed him and soon they were finally alone again, Mark having opted to camp out across the road and keep watch for them, even after Harry had insisted that it wasn’t necessary and he needed to get some sleep.

 

Harry turned to face Louis then, offering him a tired smile. “Tea?” he asked as he picked up the bag he'd dropped at his feet and headed up the stairs to the main living area.

 

“Love one,” Louis said, following along behind him. 

 

Harry moved into the kitchen, leaving the bag at the bottom of the stairs leading to the top floor and flicked the kettle on. He grabbed two cups from the cupboard and busied himself making them both tea as Louis stood at the counter watching him. 

 

When the tea was ready Harry handed Louis his cup, the steaming liquid warming his hands through the ceramic, kissing his lips gently and they made their way into the living room, snuggling up together under a blanket on the sofa. They were both exhausted, in need of a hot shower and sleep but neither of them had the energy to climb the stairs at that moment. 

 

Louis turned on the television, flicking through the channels until they settled on watching an old episode of  _ Friends.  _ They'd both seen it before, countless times even, but they were together and they were safe and that was all that mattered.

 

Harry was watching more intently than Louis was. His hand was moving absentmindedly through Louis’ hair, while he mouthed the lines before they were spoken and laughed at all the appropriate moments. Louis however had his eyes closed, immersing himself in the feeling of Harry's fingers making traces in his hair, the feel of Harry's chest rising and falling against his back and the way their ankles were tangled together. 

 

Louis had almost thrown all of this away. Left Harry on his own, his Mum, sister and friends too. He'd acted out of anger, out of a desire to protect Harry from all of the awful things he himself had had to endure as a teenager and also into his adult years and he'd not stopped to think of the consequences of his actions. 

 

It made him feel sick, the thought of a distraught Harry trying frantically to wake him, to stave off the bleeding. And in that moment Louis vowed he'd do everything he possibly could to erase those memories from Harry's mind and replace them with ones filled with love and happiness. 

 

Louis gripped the arm Harry had slung over his middle a little tighter then, Harry looking down at him, squeezing him back gently. 

 

“You ok?” Harry asked, his face radiating nothing but gentle calm and contentedness. 

 

“Yeah babe, just happy to be home.” 

 

It wasn't entirely the truth, but not entirely a lie either. Harry didn't need to know how much Louis was beating himself up about what had happened. He'd suffered enough already. 

 

When the third episode came to an end and Louis had heard no sound coming from the top floor since they'd been making tea earlier, he decided to take action. He flung the blankets off of them and stood, a little too quickly, his head spinning slightly and a dull ache began to grow in strength where his face was bandaged. 

 

“Lou, what is it?” Harry asked, getting to his feet and scanning Louis’ face, worry etched on his own. 

 

Louis didn't say anything as he grabbed  Harry by the wrist, dragging him through the house.

 

“Lou, stop, what are you doing?” Harry asked as they reached the top of the stairs leading down to the studio, stopping Louis in his tracks. 

 

“I need you Haz,” Louis breathed, backing Harry up against the hallway wall until his back was pressed against it. “Need you inside me, want you so much it hurts.” 

 

Harry gasped as Louis grabbed hold of his hips, his fingers digging into his soft skin, his mouth finding purchase on Harry's neck. Harry wrapped his arms instinctively around Louis then, holding him close. Louis made his way north, pressing kisses along Harry's neck and jaw before their lips met and Louis took charge, Harry still in shock at Louis’ actions, unable to get his brain and his body to cooperate. 

 

Louis was desperate to be naked, to feel Harry's hands skimming over his skin with his hard cock thrusting deep inside of him. He needed it like he needed air to breathe and he needed it now.

 

A low growl rumbled from Harry then as Louis’ tongue probed at his mouth, Louis’ hands coming up under the hem of his t-shirt to trail their way across the skin of his stomach. 

 

But Harry’s brain finally caught up to what was happening and he snapped out of his Louis induced haze with a shake of his head.

 

“Lou, baby….” Harry breathed out between kisses. “Baby, we can't…” 

 

“And why the fuck not?” Louis asked in disbelief as he pulled away from Harry, looking at him in shock. 

 

Harry was panting, his cock hard and pressing against his jeans as he stared back at Louis. 

 

“No rigorous activity, remember? Doctors orders.” 

 

“Fuck the doctor's orders,” Louis said moving closer to Harry again, his lips now barely touching the sensitive skin of Harry's ear. “I'm in pain Harry,” he whined, “I need you to give me my medicine.” 

 

“Fuck…” was all Harry could say in reply, Louis’ words sending sparks directly to his cock and their lips crashed together.  Harry managed to pull away again after a few moments, a look of hurt flashing in Louis’ eyes. Harry agitatedly ran his hands through his hair then, willing himself not to take Louis right there and then over the hallway railing. He was injured, with a concussion and Harry was sure he could see a hint of pain creeping onto Louis’ face as he looked at him. Harry needed Louis just as much as Louis needed him, he ached with the need. But the need for Louis to be ok, to rest and be well was paramount in Harry's mind and it was the only thing strong enough to control his urges.

 

Louis was starting to back away from Harry now, his head hung low. Harry took a step towards him but Louis only moved further away. Harry sighed in frustration, his hands running through his mop of curls once again before he spoke, trying to find words to reassure Louis in some way.

 

“Louis, baby, please…please stop. Please look at me my love.” 

 

Louis slowly lifted his head so that he was looking at Harry again. His eyes were red and sore looking, their intense blue colour standing out in a stark contrast to the redness and a never-ending stream of tears were silently cascading down his cheeks. 

 

Harry's heart constricted painfully in his chest as he took in the sight of Louis before him. He looked ashamed and broken and so, so small. Harry wanted so much to give Louis what he wanted. To make long, slow, sweet love to him. To take control and let Louis lose himself in the feel of him. But he couldn't. It was clear to Harry that Louis was hurting both physically and emotionally but he couldn't give him the one thing he wanted. The one thing he needed to take the pain away, to forget about it all for a while and Harry's heart ached at the thought. 

Harry crossed the space between them in two easy strides as Louis began to sob, his body shaking and heaving with the force of them. He wrapped Louis’ smaller frame in his arms, pulling his body close against his own as Louis lost all sense of control over his emotions. 

 

As soon as his face made contact with Harry's toned chest, the heat of his body warming his skin through the fabric of his t-shirt, Louis crumpled. But Harry didn't complain, or try to stop him. He simply held him tighter and followed him down onto the floor of the landing, pulling Louis into his lap and allowing him to cry.

 

Harry rocked them both gently, one hand wrapped around Louis’ small waist resting on the flat of his back, the other smoothing back his hair from his face. 

 

“Shh baby, shh. I'm sorry, please don't cry,” Harry cooed. He felt horrible for turning down Louis’ advances. It was the first time he'd ever really said no to Louis and it wasn't something he was in a hurry to ever repeat. 

 

“Don't. Don't be sorry Harry. I know my face is ugly now. I wouldn't want to have sex with me either.” Louis spoke, so softly Harry was convinced he'd misheard him.

 

“What?”

 

“I'm ugly now. My face has ugly bruises and cuts and who knows what mess is hiding, Under. This. Bloody. Bandage!” 

 

Louis was hysterical now, yelling at the top of his lungs and pounding his fist into Harry's chest. The emotions of the past 24 hours had finally caught up to him and not having had any proper sleep wasn't helping. Harry had said no to him. Said no to having sex with him. He'd even been the one to break the kiss. It was the first time Harry had ever said no to him and he’d said not to having sex. To making love to Louis. No, to helping him forget the pain and the hurt in the best way Louis knew how. Louis knew his words were true. He was ugly and Harry didn't find him attractive anymore. He'd used stupid recommendations from a Doctor they'd only spoken to for half an hour, who didn't even know them, as an excuse and Louis wasn't sure what to think or feel anymore.

 

And Harry's heart was breaking. 

 

He gripped Louis tighter as he fought to free himself from his hold. Hot, fat, ugly tears were burning their way down Harry’s cheeks and his throat felt dry and his lungs burned as he struggled to breathe through his own sobs. How had a night out, that was supposed to be spent in good company having fun, ended so badly? How had they arrived at this place?

 

“Don't you fucking dare…” Harry almost growled, his sadness quickly turning to anger, finally letting Louis go. Louis scrambled to his feet, the pain at his temple blinding as he stood, bringing yet more tears to his eyes. He turned on his heel, not daring to look Harry in the eye and made it to the bottom step of the second floor stairs before Harry had him by the wrist. He stopped, turning to face Harry, yanking his hand back, watching as a momentary flash of hurt crossed Harry's features before his burning anger returned. 

 

“What!? Don't fucking dare what Harry? Huh?”

 

“Don't you dare say that you are ugly,” Harry breathed, his voice little more than a rumbling growl. 

 

“Why!? Does the truth hurt!? I'm ugly and worthless and I always have been! Ben knew it and every other guy since him knew it too!” 

 

“How can you say that!? How can you say that about yourself Louis!?” Harry was yelling back now, seeing red at the mention of Ben’s name and he was unable to control himself, not caring that they'd no doubt wake up Jay.

 

“I can say it because it's the truth! And you confirmed that for me just now when you all but pushed me off of you! I'm repulsive and now I have equally repulsive scars to match! But at least none of them ever turned down the chance to fuck me!”

 

Harry gasped at Louis’ words, unable to believe what he was hearing. Louis’ words cut him like a knife and he knew in that moment that these were long buried wounds that Louis carried with him, but I didn't make it hurt any less.

 

“There is nothing repulsive about you Louis, nothing! I don't know what I have to do to make you believe that my name isn't Ben! Or any of those other idiots that never appreciated how beautiful and amazing you are! And they may have fucked you, but I can bet the 25 million I'm worth that none of them ever made love to you! Did they!?” 

 

“There's nothing beautiful about me Harry,” Louis said softer now, hanging his head, staring intently at his sock clad feet, tears he hadn't noticed till then dripping down onto the carpeted landing. “I'm short, have massive thighs, a chubby stomach and a girly waist. My back has stupid dimples and my voice is high pitched and squeaky. My eyes are small and are practically hidden by crinkles when I smile. Now I'm going to have a scar who knows how big and how ugly to add to the mix and that's just the start. There's nothing beautiful or amazing about any of that.” 

 

Louis slowly lifted his head, not entirely sure he wanted to see the look on Harry’s face after all he'd just said, but he did it anyway. 

 

Louis had never seen anyone look more pained or broken in his life. Harry had both of his hands fisted into his chocolate curls, his forearms resting on his head. He was staring up at the ceiling, his chest rapidly rising and falling as he attempted to drag air into his lungs. Louis could tell he was still crying, his tears glistening on his cheeks, a rogue tear running down the length of his neck every few seconds, caught by the fabric of his t-shirt. 

 

A few seconds passed and Harry realised that Louis had stopped speaking. He tore his eyes away from the ceiling, lowering his hands and looked at him. Louis looked just as broken as Harry's heart felt and he wasn't quite sure what to do or say. But the words came, from somewhere deep inside Harry and he let them flow freely. He needed Louis to hear what he had to say and he prayed that this time he'd believe him. 

 

“I need for you to listen to me Louis, carefully. I need you to let me speak and just listen to what I have to say… please.” 

 

Louis didn't speak. He merely nodded his head a few times, his sapphire eyes never leaving Harry's green ones, so Harry continued on. 

 

“Firstly, I would like to start by saying I'm sorry. I feel like I've said those two words so many times today, to so many people but I'll say them again anyway. I'm sorry for making you sing that bloody song with me last night and I'm sorry for not asking Mark to take us home. I'm sorry for not asking Mark to deal with him and I'm sorry that you were hurt. I'm sorry that I wasn't there with you when you woke up in the hospital, but…. but I'm not… I’m n-not your f-family. They w-wouldnt let m-me.” 

 

Harry made a high pitched, painful sound then, balling his hands into fists and covering his eyes as he cried. The sound was excruciating to hear and it was even harder for Louis to watch him and it took everything in Louis not to launch himself off of the step he was still standing on and wrap Harry up in his arms and never let him go. But Harry continued on despite his sobbing and his tears, Louis’ heart continuing to shatter, piece by tiny piece as Harry spoke. 

 

“And I'm sorry if you feel like I didn't want to make love to you. I do, more than anything. But you have a concussion for God sake! I was only trying to do what I thought was right. But most of all, I'm sorry for every single terrible word anyone has ever spoken to you. I'm sorry for all of the terrible things that Ben and those other men put you through. I'm sorry for every time you ever felt used, or sad or unloved because of them. I'm sorry that it took me 24 years to find you and I'm sorry that you had to spend almost 22 years of your life without me. I'm sorry. They probably have never said it to you and they probably never will. But I'll do it for them. Louis, I'm so sorry.” 

 

An eerie silence filled the air around them as Harry stopped speaking. The air felt thick and suffocating and Louis was finding it hard to breathe. But Harry took another breath, apparently not having finished what he had to say.

 

“As for you. Read my fucking lips Louis. You. Are. Beautiful. I don't know how many times you need me to say it. I don't know how many times I have to show you that. But I'll keep saying it and I'll keep showing you until you get it. And if that means that I have to do it until the day I die before you realise just how beautiful and amazing you truly are then I will.”

 

Harry moved slowly towards Louis then. He took one slow, deliberate step at a time, his eyes never leaving Louis’ hoping that Louis wouldn't turn and run from him. He stopped when his toes were touching the step Louis was still standing on and their noses were almost touching. Harry lowered his voice to a hushed whisper and gripped both of Louis’ hands tightly within his own. 

 

“You were made for me Louis Tomlinson. You are my other half. You are the puzzle piece that has completed my puzzle. You are my home. You have my whole heart and you have from the moment I laid eyes on you. I love you. I love you so much that it hurts and the thought of losing you kills me. Please baby, please don't do this. Don't do this to yourself. Please…..” 

 

Harry moved his hands up to carefully cup Louis’ cheeks and Louis winced. Harry's eyes widened as he realised that not only was Louis in emotional pain but in severe physical pain too. He moved his hand down to below the bandages and brushed the tip of his nose gently against Louis’. Louis didn't move or try to push him away, so Harry brought their lips together. It was so gentle yet utterly perfect. The most tender and heartfelt kiss they'd ever shared and it was all that Harry needed to know that they'd be ok. Harry pulled back after a few moment's, resting his forehead against Louis’ and Louis spoke then. 

 

“I'm so sorry Harry. I'm so, so sorry. Please forgive me. Please. Please forgive me. I love you more than anything else in this world and I'd be lost without you. Please forgive me. Please. Please don't ever leave me. I know I'm a lot to handle and my shit with Ben makes it hard for us. But I'm trying. I promise I'm trying. Please Harry. Please don't leave me. I love you. Please…”

 

“Hey, hey shh. I'm not going anywhere. Well. Not permanently anyway. I'll never leave you baby.” 

 

It was out there now. He hadn't meant to say it and this hadn't been how Harry had envisioned telling Louis about his unplanned trip to LA, but they were already upset and drained so now seemed as good a time as any. Louis pulled back slightly from Harry then so that he could look at him properly.

 

“What do you mean not permanently? Where are you going? You don't have to leave for another two months yet. Why are you bringing this up now?” Louis said, panic rising as he spoke. 

 

“Well. While your Mum and Lottie where with you at the hospital Tay called. She says she loves you and misses you by the way,” Harry began, not quite sure how to get the words out knowing that Louis wouldn't take the news well. “Anyway she called to make sure you were ok after she heard what happened. This has blown up, the incident at the bar, it's worldwide news Lou. Anyway Simon caught wind of it and well, he's not happy. And I'm guessing Jeff my idiot manager and the label aren't happy either.” 

 

“What does that have to do with you leaving?” Louis asked, clearly confused but starting to worry that this was a whole lot bigger than a concussion and some cuts and bruises. 

 

“Simon is threatening to cancel my contract over this and he wants to see me in person. He wants me in LA. He wanted me on the next flight to LA but I told Tay I couldn't leave until I knew you were ok. So… So she's booked me on a red eye out of Tullamarine on Monday morning.” 

 

Louis gasped at Harry's revelation and his hands flew to his mouth. He shook his head, his eyes wide and yet more tears began to trickle down his cheeks. This was all his fault. Harry's career was now in jeopardy and it was his fault. It didn't matter what Harry said to try and convince him otherwise. This was all his fault and there was nothing he could do to fix it.

 

“He can't, he can't cancel your contract. What about your career!?” 

 

Harry sighed, looking at Louis as though he was his entire world. “He can love and he might yet. I don't know the full extent of it. I only know what Tayari told me and that wasn't much. He didn't or wouldn't tell her any more than what I'm telling you now.”

 

“But Harry, he could, he could end your career. And, and it's all my fault. This is all my fault…” 

 

Harry scooped Louis up in his arms then, placing a kiss on the top of his head. 

 

“Hey, this isn't your fault love. Don't think that for a second. And if he wants to end my contract let him. He's been looking for an excuse for ages because I won't conform to his idealistic image. And if I have to pay back all the advances on my contract and liquidate all my assets to be free of him and the label I will. I'm done Louis.” 

 

“But your career would be over. You'd have nothing. And it would be because of me. Because I couldn't control my temper.” 

 

Louis was sobbing into Harry's chest as Harry held onto him tightly, rubbing his hand up and down Louis’ back trying to calm him. He moved then, tilting Louis’ chin up so that their eyes met again. Harry wiped away the tears staining Louis’ face with his thumbs, careful not to disturb any of the healing cuts on his face and kissed him softly. 

 

“I said let him. Right now I couldn't care if I have to sell everything I own and I'm left with nothing. As long as I have you I'll have all I'll ever need Lou. You are my home. I already told you. I'd give up everything if you asked me too and I meant it. I meant it then and I mean it even more now. All I'll ever want or need is you.” 

 

Louis nodded his head gently, a searing pain shooting through his skull at the movement and he grimaced. 

 

“Come now love, we're fine and we'll continue to be fine, ok? Let's not worry about all of this right now. Let's get you some painkillers and go to bed.”

 

Louis kissed Harry once more, feeling uncertain of what the future held for Harry, ashamed of all that he'd said, but content in the knowledge that Harry still loved him and that was all he needed. He pulled back, offering Harry a weak smile and taking each other's hands they headed upstairs to bed.

 

…..

 

They'd showered together in the safety of Louis’ en suite, Harry tenderly washing away the hurt from Louis’ body. He was careful not to get Louis’ bandages wet and spent some time lovingly massaging the tension from Louis’ shoulders. Harry had quickly washed himself and hopped out allowing Louis to step out after him so as not to get cold and wrapped him up in a warm, fluffy towel. 

 

Louis was almost crippled with pain now, having missed his scheduled medication time and he'd reluctantly allowed Harry to help him get dried and dressed, already feeling the shame of his earlier outburst. But Harry hadn't minded, reminding him that a relationship wasn't just built on the good times and after some strong painkillers and some tender kisses they were both tucked up in bed. 

 

Louis had his head resting gently against Harry's chest, listening to the sound of his heart beating, the rise and fall of his chest lulling Louis slowly to sleep. Neither of them had spoken for a while, both happy to be tangled in each other's arms. The only sound in the room was their quiet breathing and they were both beyond exhausted, sleep clawing at the edges of their minds. 

 

But it was just as Harry thought Louis had finally fallen asleep that he spoke.

 

“Can you sing to me till I fall asleep?” 

 

Harry smiled to himself, ever so slightly tightening his grip on Louis. He sang for a living and requests to sing were always tedious and became a chore after a while but he never tired of singing for Louis. It made Louis smile, the smile he only showed to Harry and Harry never failed to oblige him. 

 

“Of course I will my love. Sweet dreams baby. I love you.” 

 

“I love you too Haz.”

 

And with that Harry kissed Louis’ temple and began to sing, repeating the words over and over until they both fell into a peaceful sleep. 

 

**_You are my sunshine,_ **

**_My only sunshine,_ **

**_You make me happy,_ **

**_When skies are grey._ **

 

**_You'll never know dear,_ **

**_How much I love you,_ **

**_Please don't take,_ **

**_My sunshine away._ **


	18. Harsh Words, Old Habits and Confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis and Harry's relationship is still strained following their argument. Harry leaves for LA and Louis falls back into old habits.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone remember me? Your friendly neighborhood fic writer who hasn't posted in 2 months because I'm the worst and life got in the way?
> 
> Well here it is. 
> 
> I know it's way too long overdue and I apologise for that. Life has been hectic and I've had 3 family members in and out of hospital but I finally got there lol. 
> 
> Firstly a MASSIVE shout out to my bestie Lena (@Wicked_Archer on Twitter) for all of her help and encouragement with this. If it wasn't for her you'd probably have been waiting another 2 months for it haha. Also go check out her latest fic Cool For The Summer, it's everything. 
> 
> And also to my boo Tay for her amazing poem that was used for the note. Your beautiful words are always appreciated.
> 
> I love you girls to death and I'm so greatful for both of you x
> 
> Anyway I hope you enjoy it.
> 
> Kudos and Comments are welcome. 
> 
> All the love as always
> 
> Z x

The sun was barely up over the horizon and soft light was gently flowing into Louis and Harry's spacious bedroom. Louis was asleep in bed, cocooned in the duvet subconsciously trying to keep out the cold air, but stirred slowly awake when the light of a new day hit his face.

He stretched his arms lazily above his head with a yawn before bringing them down by his sides. His eyes opened a fraction when he was met by the cool sheets next to him, suddenly aware that Harry wasn't where he usually was so early in the morning. A small frown formed on his face, his lips pouting slightly as his sleep addled brain scrambled to work out why Harry wasn't in bed next to him. He thought hard for a moment before it dawned on him, and he let out a long suffering groan, covering his eyes with his arm.

It was Monday.

He'd been dreading it since Harry's revelation about his impromptu trip to LA on Saturday morning. It was only made worse by the fact that although Harry had forgiven Louis for his emotional outburst, had apologised for making Louis feel unwanted and the subsequent argument that had followed, things between them still weren't any better. They were worse now if Louis was being honest.

Louis had reasoned with himself that everything was fine between himself and Harry after they'd shared a shower together, Harry lovingly caring for him as he always did and had shared sweet, tender kisses in bed, Harry singing softly to him until they'd both fallen asleep tangled in each other's arms. But Louis hadn't been able to shake his feelings of anger and guilt at what had happened and had woken feeling even more insecure and broken than he had the night before and it was starting to take its toll on both of them.

Things had been strained between them since. Harry had been acting as though Louis was a ticking time bomb that may explode at a moment's notice, needing to be cared for like a child, and Louis was harbouring secret feelings of resentment towards Harry for it that he soon realised, maybe weren't so secret. That in turn made Harry sad, even though he’d never said as much to Louis. But Louis could tell that was how he felt by the way Harry got the look of a kicked puppy in his eyes whenever Louis snapped at him for treating him like a child.

Louis knew deep down that Harry reminding him to take his medication, forcing him to make his doctors appointments and in general just trying to take care of Louis was his way of showing him that he loved him. But to Louis it felt more like Harry thought he was incapable of doing these things for himself, and that had only resulted in more arguing.

It had also become apparent to Louis that Jay had heard some, if not all, of their argument, neither of them having tried to keep their heated exchange quiet. She'd also been witness to the bickering and petty fighting that had ensued since. By Sunday night, however, Jay had resorted to simply trying her best to act as though nothing was wrong, and that the tension in the room wasn't threatening to swallow them all whole. She'd tried her best to make small talk as was their norm, but the conversation had been strained. Harry and Louis exchanged clipped words and forced smiles before Harry had made excuses for them both, telling Jay that they were both still feeling the effects of what had transpired.

Lottie had continued to stay at Niall’s place. She'd come home on Sunday intending to return home, only to find Harry and Louis in the middle of a heated argument over Louis’ upcoming doctors appointment and Harry's trip to LA. She'd darted upstairs, returning quickly with a few more bags of her belongings in tow and had promptly walked back out the front door, shooting them both dirty looks as she passed, not having been heard from since.

And so this strained version of their relationship, that was beginning to engulf the entire household, had carried on through Sunday night. Louis had tried his best not to be frustrated with Harry for simply loving him, while Harry had continued to try and not be upset with Louis for becoming angry over the smallest things. Angry words were said out of frustration, apologetic and hurt looks were shared, repeat.

Louis scrubbed his hands over his face, slowly blinking his eyes open, his mood already resolutely sour. He and Harry were still fighting, not having even tried to mend things between them or talk about things further than snapping at each other, and they'd even spent last night in separate beds. It wasn't something Louis had ever envisaged happening, but here they were.

And now Harry was gone. He’d gone to LA with the weight of the world on his shoulders. He'd gone still thinking that Louis hated him for needing to take this time to save his career, gone unsure of whether or not his career or his relationship would remain intact by the end of his meeting with Simon, and Louis hated himself for it.

Louis hated that he'd let Harry go feeling that way, unable to pull himself together enough to offer support and comfort to Harry when he needed it, after all that Harry had done for him. He was so used to expecting the worst from people that he’d started to expect it from Harry too. He was also struggling with the fact that although Harry needed his support right now, Louis needed Harry’s support just as much.

Today was the day his dressings were to be changed for the first time. Louis and Harry had fought for over half an hour about the very topic the day before and the words said in anger between them flooded back into Louis’ mind, too exhausted to even try to stop them.

_“I know tomorrow is a big day for you Louis, but I have to be on that plane. This isn't some lads trip I'm going on. This could make or break my career.”_

_“And I'm not going to a bloody day spa Harry, who knows what's under this infernal bandage. It's not your face that's disfigured!”_

_Harry sighed in frustration at Louis’ words, balling his hands up into fists, closing his eyes and staring at the ceiling for a few seconds. He took a few steadying breaths before he fixed Louis with an angry glare and barreled on, seemingly unphased by what Louis had said._

_“Don't be so dramatic Louis. A scar is hardly a disfigurement. And stop trying to guilt trip me into staying because, like I've already said, as much as I want to be with you tomorrow I can't, so please drop it. This is getting us nowhere.”_

_“_ I'm sorry _.” Louis spat, sarcasm dripping from the words like poison. “Heaven forbid something else be any more important than your sodding career. You can sign with another label and get a new idiot manager Harry, I can't get a new face!”_

_Louis was beyond furious now, struggling to comprehend how Harry could be so selfish. He'd put his meeting off for two days already, and, in Louis’ mind, he didn't see the harm in delaying it a few more hours to accompany him to his doctor's appointment for moral support. He may be slightly overreacting and acting like a bit of a brat, but in that moment Louis felt his words and actions were justified._

_“All I'm asking is for a few hours Harry,” Louis continued before Harry had a chance to respond. “I need you to be there. I can't do this alone. I can't believe you're being so selfish.”_

_“I'm being selfish!?” Harry yelled, his usual cool and calm exterior slowly slipping away by the second. “Me? Are you hearing what you're saying right now? This meeting could end any chance I have of ever making music again. Of ever doing the one thing that I love, and yet I'm the selfish one!?”_

_Harry's words broke then, his hands shaking and lip trembling, blinking furiously as if to hold back unshed tears. Louis’ resolve began to crumble as he looked at Harry, but he had to stand his ground. He had to let Harry know that this was important to him. That of all the people he wanted and needed to be with him tomorrow, Harry was it. Harry who made him feel safe and strong and loved. And yet, he was leaving him. It seemed it didn't matter what Louis said or did he was going, consequences be damned._

_“Good to know,” Louis said then, his voice a low, steady stream of sound that caused the colour to drain from Harry’s face. Louis’ heart was racing, and he felt as though he may be sick, but he continued on._

_“I'm so very pleased to hear that your career is more important to you than I am Harry. That it's more important than me, the man you claim to love more than anything else. That it's not something you yourself have said you'd give up, if I asked you to. On more than one occasion might I add. But ok. It is what it is, Harry,” Louis said, tapping the tattoo scrawled across his collarbones then for emphasis. “You go to LA. You sort your career, but while you're there, see if you can't figure out where I fit into all that, yeah?”_

_Louis stormed out of the living room then, not bothering to look back, not bothering to let Harry speak, missing the tears of hurt that had begun to run freely down Harry’s cheeks. Louis darted up the stairs to their bedroom two at a time, stomping down the hallway, before entering their bedroom and slamming the door shut._

Louis had spent the rest of the day holed up in their bedroom, crying on and off into Harry’s pillow, not venturing out until dinner that night. He had only spoken to Harry if and when it was absolutely necessary, not wanting to cause another argument. What he hadn't expected was for Harry, with incredible hurt and sadness written all over his features, to slowly make his way down to the studio, after the most painfully awkward meal of their lives, leaving Louis alone at the kitchen table confused and heartbroken.

Neither of them knew quite how to be what the other needed in that moment. Neither of them understanding that they were both feeling equally frustrated and guilty at not being able to offer love and support when it mattered most and in return, they were hurting the one person that truly mattered the most to them.

Louis felt sick at the memory and the familiar feelings of worthlessness and self loathing started to stir low in his gut. He had to fix this. He had to make things right with Harry and apologise for the words he’d said. He was frustrated and scared, and once again, Harry had been on the receiving end of it. Louis had to try and make it up to Harry, and he had to do it before he pushed Harry away and lost the only person he'd ever truly loved, forever. He just wasn’t sure he knew how.

 

……

  
  
The T2 International Departures Terminal of Tullamarine Airport was surprisingly packed considering the ridiculously early hour. Harry stood in line waiting to check in for his flight, wrapped up in a slightly too small hoodie that belonged to Louis, shoulders hunched with his head hung low. He was exhausted, not having had much sleep the night before, spending most of the night tossing and turning, worrying about the state of his career and his relationship.

Harry knew that he should be mentally preparing himself for his meeting with Simon, but he couldn't help but worry about Louis and how he was going to cope without him today. He’d made alternative arrangements yesterday, however, after spending far too many hours crying, the hot tears running unchecked down his face and neck as he stared unseeing at the ceiling. He knew fine well Louis wouldn't and couldn’t face today alone, so he had ensured he wouldn’t have to. He shuffled slowly forwards then as the line grew smaller, his body on autopilot, not really paying attention to what was going on around him, too wrapped up in his scattered thoughts.

He wanted nothing more than to be at home, snuggled up in bed with Louis. He wanted to wake up to Louis’ gorgeous, smiling face and impossibly blue eyes. To be there for him today, to hold his hand and offer words of love and encouragement as he discovered what was hidden under the bandages for the first time. Instead, he was standing in the check in line at the Airport, at half past three on a Monday morning, dreading what the next few days would bring.

Harry wasn't stupid; he knew this needed to be done. He had to do this if only for his own peace of mind, no matter the outcome. He knew that no matter what happened his life and career would be changed forever after today, and he prayed that he would be able to do it on his own terms. That he could salvage both his career and his relationship in the process. But deep down, far into the recesses of his bones, Harry knew that if push came to shove, it would never be a contest. Louis was all he'd ever want and need, and, if saving his relationship meant the end of his career, then he'd walk away from it happily.

Just then Harry felt a hand on his shoulder, pulling him suddenly from his thoughts and he looked up with a startled expression to see a woman dressed in a smart QANTAS uniform, smiling at him.

“Oh, I'm sorry Sir, I didn't mean to startle you,” she said, her voice soft and calming. “Are you checking in?”

“Oh, umm, yes. The 5am flight to LA?” Harry replied, stumbling over his words a little. They came out as more of a question than a statement, but the woman continued to smile at him.

“Right this way Sir. Jessica will be happy to assist you,” the woman said, holding out her hand in the direction of a woman sat behind a desk. She had long, dark hair swept up into a large bun, wearing a similar uniform to her own and she smiled at him as he looked at her. “I hope you enjoy your flight and your time in LA.”

“Thank you,” Harry mumbled in response, resisting the urge to roll his eyes at the implication he’d be enjoying his time in LA and willed his long limbs to carry him in the direction that he'd been instructed.

After a few awkward moments spent talking to Jessica, who was clearly a fan but attempting to remain professional and after checking in his bags and receiving his boarding pass, Harry finally made his way down to security. He passed through it with minimal fuss, no one there noticing nor caring who he was and he was grateful for small blessings. As he walked on through to the boarding gate, he noticed it was only 4am, the time displayed on a flight board in large yellow text next to him. This left him a spare half hour before he needed to board his flight, so he sat down in a chair as far away from everyone else as possible, pulling his journal and a pen out of his carry on bag and began to write.

  
  
_Monday 18th July 2018_

  
_Entry #228_

  
  


_Louis and I slept in separate beds last night…_

_How has our relationship come to this?_

_How did we arrive at this place?_

_Never did I imagine that Louis and I would get to a point that every word spoken is in anger. That to be in the same room as each other feels like torture. That I'd willingly choose not to share a bed with him. That I'd remove myself from the situation to avoid having to sleep next to him and have him flinch at my touch._

_He called me selfish. He thinks that my career means more to me than he does._

_How can he not see that he is the single most important thing in my life?_

_How can he not see that it's breaking my heart to be away from him?_

_He doesn't see the tears that I cry and if he does he doesn't seem to care. He doesn't see that my heart feels like it's shattering every time he looks at me with loathing in his eyes. Even when we are together it feels like there is an ocean between us. Even when he is right beside me, I miss him._

_I miss his touch._

_I miss his kiss._

_I miss hearing him laugh at something that I've said._

_I miss his sass and his wit._

_I miss...us._

_I feel like I'm losing him. That he's slipping through my fingers with each second that passes. With each moment we continue to let this eat at us. With each hour that we continue to bottle our feelings and not talk about how we ended up in this place of anger and resentment._

_I'm losing him. He's pushing me away. And I know why._

_He believes he isn't good enough. He believes that he isn't beautiful or sexy. He believes that he is broken and damaged. He believes that he doesn't deserve to be loved. He believes that he isn't worthy of love. He has let past failed relationships darken his perception of himself and what love should be like. I don't know how I can make him see that those things simply aren't true._

_How do I make him see that he is beautiful?_

_How do I make him see that his body is a temple, and I will worship it for the rest of my life?_

_How do I make him see that he isn't broken or damaged even though he feels like he is?_

_How do I make him see that he deserves the entire world and it's my life's mission to give it to him?_

_How do I prove to a man who feels unworthy of love, that he is loved beyond measure?_

_The worst part of it all is I don't even know if he loves me anymore. I'm not sure he even wants to try to fix us._

_How do I possibly begin to fix this?_

_How do I fix, us?_

_How?_

  


Harry closed his journal then with a sigh, stuffing it into his carry on bag with his pen as a disembodied voice announced that his flight would be boarding in ten minutes. This was it. There was no turning back now. He quickly pulled out his phone opening his message app, typing out at quick message to Dea, knowing she'd be awake hoping for a swift reply to ease his mind a little.

 **_To Dea :_ ** _Morning D. Everything set for today? x_

The answering reply came within seconds, and a small smile formed on his face. He instantly felt better and his mood brightened slightly.

 **_To Haz:_ ** _Don't worry Haz. I will make sure he is ok. I've got what you asked for. Be safe. See you soon x_

With only minutes left till boarding Harry  wrestled with the idea of texting Louis, worrying his bottom lip between his thumb and index finger. He knew that Louis would still be sleeping, and that he, no doubt, wouldn't reply, however he had to let him know that he was thinking of him. Harry thought for a moment, typing and deleting a few messages before settling on simply telling the truth. He typed out the message quickly, hitting send before turning his phone off and stuffing it into the side pocket of his bag, praying there would be a reply when he arrived in LA.

 **_To Lou:_ ** _I need you to know that I love you. That last night, sleeping alone, it killed me. I miss you Lou. I miss us. Please forgive me._

_All my love._

_Always_

_H xx_

  


_….._

  
  
Louis had lay in bed for a further two hours after he'd first woken. He'd alternated between watching the sunrise and staring angrily at the ceiling, muttering to himself about how terrible his life was, before giving up and deciding he couldn't avoid the day any longer.

He showered lazily, spending a good half an hour simply standing under the steady stream of hot water, careful not to get his face wet, only washing himself when his fingertips became shriveled. The feel of them was odd against the rest of his skin, but he continued on with his task before turning off the water and stepping out of the shower cubicle.

A further half an hour was spent perched on the end of the bed, wrapped in a soft towel. The morning air was cooling his skin rapidly and even when he began to shiver, he continued to pick at a loose thread he'd found for a further five minutes.

With a sigh and more exaggerated grunting and groaning than was strictly necessary, Louis finally got up from the bed and trudged into the walk in closet. Rifling through the drawers of neatly folded clothes, that Harry had spent hours painstakingly organising, he searched for the specific items of clothing he wanted to wear, some of which were Harry's. If he wanted to wear Harry’s favorite Rolling Stones t-shirt and Packers hoodie, that swamped his much smaller frame, simply to feel as though Harry was with him, that was no one’s business but his own.

Each drawer he came to was thrown wide open, the clothes ending up crumpled or in a heap on the floor, as he searched for the specific items he wanted to wear. If he was going to have to participate in adult life today, much to his disgust, then he was going to do it in comfort. When he'd gathered all the items he needed he headed back into the bedroom, not even attempting to clean up the mess he'd made, even though he felt slightly guilty for destroying all of Harry's hard work.

When he'd dressed in his comfiest underwear, the baggiest sweatpants he owned, that were probably Harry's judging by the length, Harry's t-shirt and hoodie and his favourite floppy beanie, that in reality looked as though it had seen better days, he stood and stared at himself in the mirror.

It had been a long time since Louis had felt the need to stand and scrutinise his reflection in the mirror. To point out every flaw about himself he could see, whether they were legitimate flaws or not. If he was being perfectly honest with himself, he hadn't done this since before he'd met Harry, which felt like a lifetime ago now.

Harry had always had the ability to look at Louis as though he was the literal Sun, always making him feel sexy and confident. But his self confidence had taken a beating after the weekend from hell, and Louis found himself falling back into his old habits.

Louis’ eyes roamed over every inch of his reflection, looking everywhere but at the bandages adorning his face and he stood in silence mentally battering himself with a list of all the things he deemed _wrong._

_“Ben was right. No wonder he was fucking his business partner. Who could ever be happy with someone like me? I'm a short, rat faced disappointment. With girly hips and a grating, high pitched voice. How does Harry put up with me? What could he possibly find attractive about me?_

Louis’ mind drifted to thoughts of Harry then, images of him swimming into focus behind his eyes. Harry's impossibly long legs, his perfectly sculpted body, the way his smile seemed to light up the room and the way his soft curls hung just right. This did nothing to help Louis’ self loathing, only fueling him further.

_“I'm not tall, like Harry. I'm not breathtakingly handsome, like Harry. I don't have a deep, rumbling voice that flows like molasses, like Harry. I don't have strong arms, like Harry. I don't have broad shoulders that seem to carry the weight of the world, like Harry. I don't have an earth shattering, dimple filled smile, like Harry. I’m not good enough for him. I'll never be good enough. He deserves better. He deserves the entire world offered up to him on a silver platter. I don't deserve him. I don't deserve someone who looks like him. He's kind and gentle and selfless. I'll never be what he deserves or needs. It’s no wonder he’s chosen his career over me. His career isn’t a dissapointment. His career isn’t worthless, like me. Why does he love me? What could he possible see in me? How can he love someone who looks, like me? A pathetic, useless excuse for a man. How? Why?”_

It wasn't until Louis’ breathing was ragged and silent tears were cascading down his cheeks that he shook himself from his thoughts.

“Fuck this...” He muttered to his own reflection then, angrily wiping away his tears, turning on his heel and storming out of the bedroom in search of his cigarettes and a cup of tea.

  


…..

 

Louis was on his third cup of tea and more cigarettes than he cared to admit, when he was startled back to reality by someone knocking furiously on the front door. He sighed, stubbing out yet another cigarette and heaved himself up from the wooden lounger he'd been sitting on.

“Yeah, yeah I'm coming! Keep you're bloody knickers on!” He yelled as he leisurely made his way down to the front door, in no real hurry to find out who was attempting to wake the dead on the other side.

“Louis William Tomlinson! Get your ass down here and open this door right now!”

Louis stopped mid stride, halfway to the stairs. He had not been expecting to be greeted by the thick, Romanian accent he knew so well, and when he’d taken a moment to process what he’d heard, he took off at a run. After almost missing the bottom step in his sudden haste to get to the door, fumbling with the locks a few too many times and uttering a string of less than desirable curse words, he finally had the door open and flung himself into Dea’s waiting arms.

Louis didn’t notice Mark standing behind her holding two duffle bags. Nor the small chuckle that escaped his lips. He didn’t notice the gigantic bunch of pale pink Peonies that Dea was gripping tightly in her hand, or the small note that had fallen from them and fluttered to the ground behind him. All he was concerned with was the feeling of Dea in his arms and the wave of both happiness and sadness that flooded through him. He hadn’t seen her in what felt like the longest time. He’d missed their chats and the fact that no matter what problem he had, or what he needed to get off his chest, she never judged him and always listened to what he had to say.

Mark cleared his throat then and both Louis and Dea looked up at him. “Not to ruin the moment you two, but umm, do you think we could move this inside?”

“Oh, hiya Mark, I didn’t see you there, lad,” Louis greeted sheepishly, a hint of a blush creeping up his cheeks. “Come in, come in.”

Mark shook his head and laughed as Louis moved aside to let them both pass him. Noticing the small, white envelope then, Louis picked it up not bothering to give it too much attention, assuming it was something that belonged to Dea then hurried into the house and closed the door behind him.

Mark and Dea were standing awkwardly in the hallway waiting for Louis, so he ushered them up the stairs to the main living area. He made his way into the kitchen, doing what came naturally to him and putting the kettle on to make tea, when he finally noticed that Dea hadn’t arrived empty handed.

“What’s all this then, love?” Louis asked, gesturing towards the two duffle bags Mark was still holding and the flowers Dea held that were now slightly squashed looking.

“Well...” Dea began, not sure how she was going to explain the phone call she’d received from a distraught Harry the day before. She decided then to skip over their conversation entirely and attempt to lighten the mood and lift Louis’ spirits a bit.

“A little bird told me that you were going to be alone for a few days. So I decided that a, how do you say, Slumber party? Was needed. It has been too long since we talked, and I was so worried about you Lou.”

Tears began to prickle at the back of Louis’ eyes then, knowing that it had to have been Harry who had told her he would be on his own. He was still bitter about Harry leaving him to deal with today alone, but he couldn't bring himself to be too angry with him. He’d asked his best friend to come and be with him in his place and the anger and resentment he was feeling towards Harry was slowly but surely starting to melt away.

“You didn't have to do that D. I would have been fine on my own,” Louis said around a cough, willing his tears away and trying to mask the terror he had felt at the prospect of having to face today alone. “But regardless, I'm happy that you’re here.”

“I’m glad to be here too, Lou, these are for you,” she said, handing the flowers to Louis. “They are not from me, I am just bringing them to you.”

“Who are they from then?” Louis asked, not having put two and two together.

Mark sighed and rolled his eyes at Louis then, as if unable to believe anyone could be so dense. “I’ll just leave these bags at the bottom of the stairs and leave you guys to it. I’ll be back at 1pm to pick you up for your appointment.”

“You sure you don’t want to stay for a cuppa?” Louis asked, suddenly remembering the manners his mother had spent the first few years of his life drilling into him.

“No thanks, Louis, i’m fine. I’ll leave you two to catch up. Thanks for the offer though. Tell Jay I said hello when you see her.”

“I will, lad, thanks for bringing Dea down.”

“Any time. See you guys later.”

Mark made his way out of the kitchen then, leaving Dea’s bags at the foot of the stairs as promised, before making his way out to his car. Louis turned back to Dea then, the flowers still clutched in his hand.

“So if they aren't from you, then who are they from?”

“Open the note and you will see. You are an idiot if you do not know by now.”

Louis poked Dea in the ribs then for her remark, and she laughed smacking him lightly on the shoulder in return.

“This note?” Louis asked, producing the small white envelope he'd stuffed into the pocket of his hoodie, well, Harry’s hoodie. Dea nodded, and he carefully set the flowers down on the bench beside him.

“You read; I will make tea,” Dea offered, and Louis nodded his agreement, making quick work of opening the envelope and pulling out the beautiful, dark blue stock card.

Three lines of script had been scrawled across it in silver pen. He’d have recognised the handwriting in his sleep, and he closed his eyes for a few moments, taking a few deep breaths before he read what Harry had so thoughtfully written.

 

_My love and life are his to share._

_My happiness is his to take when he needs a little strength._

_His tears are mine to dry._

 

_H x_

  


Louis read the twenty-six words on the small card, held in his shaking hand, for what felt like an eternity. He felt so conflicted in that moment. Harry had taken the time to arrange for Dea to come and stay with him, knowing that there would be no way that he could face today alone. He had arranged for her to bring him beautiful flowers, had written such a heartfelt note, and yet last night, Harry had chosen to sleep apart from him. Was this Harry’s way of trying to apologise to him? To let him know that although he couldn’t be with him today, that he was thinking of him and that he loved him? Louis knew logically that the answer was yes. Always had been and always would be, and yet, he still continued to struggle with his inner voice that was telling him he wasn’t good enough. That he didn’t deserve Harry’s love or kindness.

“Lou, are you crying?” Dea asked then, her voice thick with worry. Placing the two cups of tea down on the counter, she hurried around the island to stand in front of him. Louis looked up at her through bleary eyes, not having realised he was crying, again, and simply shrugged in response, not knowing what to say.

“May I?” she asked, gesturing towards the card he was still gripping tightly. Louis nodded, handing the card over to her and allowing her to read it.

“Oh Lou, it's so beautiful,” she gushed, holding the card tightly to her chest. “He really does love you, you know.”

“I know,” Louis choked out. “I don’t deserve him. I’ll never be good enough for him.”

“How can you say that?” Dea asked, her expression turning to one of anger now as she placed the card on the bench beside the now forgotten peonies. “How can you think you are not what he wants or needs? It is not for us to decide who we love Louis. It is for our heart to decide. It is the same for Harry. Now, we will go outside. We will sit, and you _will_ talk to me. What the hell has been going on between you two? Come, bring your tea and tell me all about it.”

Louis knew better than to argue with her, so with a sigh and resigning himself to the fact that she’d get it out of him one way or the other, he picked up his tea and followed her out into the courtyard.

 

…..

 

“Ok. Start from the beginning.” Dea said, bringing her lit cigarette up to her lips. She took a few drags, blowing a halo of smoke out around her and took a slow sip of her tea. When she realised that Louis hadn’t answered straight away, preferring instead to try and delay the inevitable by making a production out of lighting his cigarette and drinking his tea, she glared at him.

“I’m waiting, Tomlinson,” she growled, and Louis sighed.

“Ok. Fine.”

Louis had intended to stop there, to try and change the subject and make up excuses, but once he had said those two words, he found that he couldn’t stop.

“Harry and I had a massive fight the day I got home from the hospital. I said things I probably shouldn’t have. I overreacted, and poor H has copped my wrath ever since. Then, last night, he decided to sleep in the bed in the studio instead of coming to bed with me because he’s had enough of me and my shit. So, in short, I’ve royally fucked up my relationship with Harry. Yet the soppy git continues to be a fucking angel and send you here to hold my hand, because he knows i’m a big baby and can’t even get a bloody dressing changed on my own. And as if that wasn’t already more than I deserve, he writes me a beautiful note attached to equally beautiful Peonies which he knows fine well are my favourites! Please tell me how I deserve him or any of that Dea?”

Dea stared at him in stunned disbelief. Partly because he’d said way more than she was expecting him to, partly because she was confused by what he’d said, not realising just how bad it was between them, even though she’d spoken to Harry yesterday and partly because although her English was ok, Louis’ accent and the speed at which he spoke, still made it hard for her sometimes.

“Ok, first, I know my English is better Lou, but you need to slow down. I never understood half of that. Second, what fight? And why do you keep saying that you are not good enough and that you do not deserve Harry?”

“Sorry, you know how I get when i’m worked up.”

“It is ok, Lou. Just breathe and start again. Just tell me what is going on. If not, you and Harry will be over.”

Louis knew she was right. He had to speak to someone about what was going on inside his head and why he was treating Harry so poorly. But he was terrified. He’d never felt the need to have to talk to anyone about his feelings before, and he’d suffered in silence alone after his breakup with Ben. He’d locked himself in his bedroom in their old house, only venturing out to use the toilet or shower, which was rare in itself and had silently endured the vicious words his own mind fed him. Whenever his mum or Lottie had gone upstairs to check on him, he’d sent them away, claiming that he was fine and simply busy working and so had been able to avoid having any painful conversations like this one. But Dea wasn’t about to let him get away with it that easily, and he knew fine well that she’d keep him sat out there all day until he told her the truth of the situation.

He took a deep breath, already feeling like an idiot, trying to swallow down the embarrassment and guilt washing over him and decided that if he didn’t talk to her now he probably never would.

“It all started on Saturday morning when we got home from the hospital. We were both exhausted, hungry and needed a hot shower and sleep, but we decided to cuddle on the couch for a while,” Dea nodded along silently, not wanting to interrupt what Louis had to say, but showing that she was still listening to him.

“I think we’d watched about three episodes of _Friends_ before it all went sour. It’s my own bloody fault, Dea. I was a complete idiot, but of course I somehow managed to swing it back onto Harry and blame it all on him. But in reality it was my lack of self confidence and all the bullshit that Ben had fed me over the years that caused the argument.”

“What did you do?” Dea asked, her tone encouraging.

“Well, oh god this is embarrassing. Umm, well, you see, when everything gets too much for me to deal with I like to, let H take control, if you get what I mean,” Dea looked at him with a puzzled expression, not understanding Louis’ meaning.

“Sexually,” Louis added, noting that she hadn’t understood what he’d meant.

“Oh. I see. There is nothing bad about that Louis. What you and Harry do in the bedroom is between you and Harry only. I think it is nice that you share that. It keeps it interesting, no?”

“Yeah, I guess you could say that,” Louis replied. He had to agree with her on that one. If nothing else his and Harry’s sex life was never boring, at least it wasn’t when they were actually speaking to each other.

“But what has that to do with you two fighting?”

“Well, long story short, I wanted Harry to umm, take control, as it were, but of course, H being the saint that he is, said no. I was advised by the doctor at the hospital to not do anything overly strenuous for two weeks, you know, take it easy, because I have a concussion, and I clearly had other ideas. And didn’t I take offense to that! I acted like a complete and utter twat, D, even though I knew fine well the only reason he was saying no to me was because of my concussion. He was only trying to do what was right.”

“Oh Lou…”

“I was so horrible to him, Dea. I told him that he didn’t love me anymore. That I was ugly, and that he wasn’t attracted to me therefore that's the reason he’d said no. I-I…” Louis began to sob then, finding it harder and harder to get the words out, tears falling freely now for what felt like the millionth time in just a few days.

“I put words into his mouth. I put Ben’s shit and every other wanker I’ve had until now’s shit onto Harry, and it’s not fair. I told him that, even though I was ugly and worthless, Ben and the others had never turned down the chance to fuck me like he did…”

Dea gasped at Louis’ confession, and he covered his face with his hands, his cigarette long since forgotten, nothing more than the wilted butt between his fingers now. He felt so ashamed at what he’d said to Harry, that he could have possibly even contemplated uttering those words to him and his heart clenched painfully in his chest.

“What did Harry say?”

“He said, that yeah they may have fucked me, but he could bet the 25 million he’s worth that none of them have ever made love to me. And he’s right. Of course he’s right. None of them ever made love to me the way Harry does. None of them ever treated me like the most precious thing on Earth, like Harry does. And it scares me Dea. It scares the living piss out of me just how much I love him, and he loves me.”

“We always hurt the ones we love most Lou. Everyone has done it. You are not the first, and you are not the last.”

“I know. But you weren’t there. You didn’t see the look of utter heartbreak in his eyes. Or the way he was gripping onto his hair for dear life. He looked so utterly broken, and I did that to him. But do you know what he did then?”

“What?”

“He apologised to me. He apologised for the wanker in the bar who glassed me. For all the horrible shit that anyone has ever said to me. For Ben and the way he treated me. For the others and the way they treated me, and for making me feel as though he didn’t want me in that way any more. Then he went on to list all the reasons why I'm basically heaven sent, took me upstairs, showered me, loved me and sang me to sleep. And how do I repay him? By letting all the shit Ben poisoned my mind with get in the way of us, and now he can’t even bear to be next to me.”

“And my bratty, downright childish bullshit isn’t only affecting me and Harry now, it’s affecting mum and Lottie, too. Lottie came home on Sunday to find me and H going hammer and tongs at each other. A few minutes later, she stormed back out the door, with another two bags of her gear and we haven’t seen her since. And poor Mum. She’s had to be here listening to us bickering and arguing for the last two days. It’s gotten so bad, she picked up an extra shift at the hospital, so that she doesn’t have to deal with me. That’s why she isn’t here. I found the note she left saying she was at work when I came down this morning.”

Dea’s heart broke as she watched her best friend come undone. She’d never seen him so unsure of himself, so raw and broken. Louis was always the comic relief of their tight knit group, always the one that kept the laughs coming and the drinks flowing. He was always so outwardly confident and sure of himself, and it pained her to learn that, in reality, he was far from any of those things.

She wasn't sure what she was supposed to say to all that Louis had told her, or what she could possibly do to comfort her friend, so she did the only thing that made sense to her in that moment. She heaved herself up from her lounger, sliding in behind Louis on his and hugged him tightly to her. He went willingly, not complaining at being coddled, and she held him as he cried his pain away.

She knew that he was hurting. That all of the emotional abuse that Ben had put him through was driving a wedge between Louis and Harry, and Louis’ childish behaviour was a direct result of that. She rubbed her hand gently up and down Louis’ back, pressing a kiss to the top of his head mulling over everything he'd said, trying to work out what, if any, advice or words of comfort she could offer him.

“Lou, can I ask you something?”

“‘Course,” Louis mumbled out against Dea’s chest.

“Have you told Harry how you feel? That you feel this way?”

There was a long stretch of silence then as Louis worked up the courage to tell her his answer.

“No… no I haven't.”

“Maybe you should. He needs to know. He thinks this is all his fault you know.”

“What do you mean?” Louis asked then, sitting up and looking into Dea’s green eyes. Eyes that reminded him so much of Harry's.

“He called me last night. He was crying and upset. I tried to make him calm. But he still cried. I asked why is he crying, and he said because he doesn't know what he did wrong. He doesn't know if you love him anymore, and he is scared he will lose you.”

Louis had begun to shake his head violently as Dea spoke. This couldn't be happening. How could Harry think he didn't love him anymore? His mind raced, and his heart felt as though it may beat straight out of his chest as he tried to think of the reasons why Harry could possibly think Louis didn't love him.

And then it hit him.

He'd given him every reason to believe it was true. He hadn’t kissed Harry since Saturday morning. They hadn't held hands or shared an embrace and sex was but a distant memory at this point. Every time Harry had spoken to him or asked him how he was feeling, he’d snapped at him and treated him like dirt. Louis had been resistant to Harry’s help and had turned every conversation they'd had into an argument. It was no wonder Harry was feeling this way.

But it hurt Louis to know that he’d gone to Dea with his problems. Had felt that he couldn't speak to him about how he was feeling and work through all that had happened together as they'd always done. But why would he? Louis had pushed Harry away little by little over the past 48 hours, and if he lost him, he’d have no one but himself to blame.

“It's not his fault,” Louis finally said. “It's my fault he feels that way. I've given him every reason to believe that I don't love him anymore. I've pushed him away little by little. I haven't shown him that I love him, or appreciate him. I haven't said thank you for all that he's done for me. That's why I don't deserve him, Dea. He doesn't deserve to be treated like that. He’s done nothing but love me and support me, and now his career is on the line, too. Yet I had the hide to call him selfish. What the fuck is wrong with me Dea?”

“There is nothing wrong with you. You are hurting. You do not know how to tell him how you feel. But you must. You must tell him, Louis, or you will lose him. While he is in LA, you must find a way to show him you still love him. Say you are sorry to him. Tell him why you act this way. You must do it for Harry, but you must do it for yourself, also.”

“But… I don't know how? How do I make up for everything I've put him through? I told him his career meant more to him than I do, Dea. What if he doesn't forgive me?”

“It will be all ok Lou. We will work it out. Everyone. Together. We will find a way. And if he won't forgive what you have said and done, then at least you can say you tried. That is all you can do.”

“You're right. I have to at least try. Thank you, Dea, for-- for listening. And for being here with me while Harry is away.”

“Don't thank me Louis, thank Harry. He did all this. Not me.”

Louis offered Dea a weak smile then before he hugged her tightly, still unsure what he'd done to deserve her or Harry. He dried his tears with the sleeve of his hoodie, certain Harry would be mad at him for getting snot on it and the thought made him laugh. He always had loved Harry’s pout. He missed everything about Harry, if he was being honest, and it was now a race against the clock to find a way to mend what he had broken before it was too late. But for now, at least, the sky didn't seem like it was falling and the prospect of his impending doctors appointment didn't seem so daunting now that he didn't have to face it alone. Harry had come to his rescue, again. Even when they were fighting. He couldn't bear to even look at Louis, but he still knew exactly what Louis needed and for that he would be eternally grateful.


	19. Toilet Doors, Panic Attacks and Her

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry has an eventful and enlightening flight to LA. Louis can't cope without Harry and Simon has a surprise for Harry he never saw coming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my wonderful readers.
> 
> In celebration of my birthday on Saturday I have knuckled down and written this chapter especially for you all. And more importantly for all of you who have endure this rollercoaster from the very beginning. I am so greatful for all of you.
> 
> Another massive thanks to Lena (@Wicked_Archer on Twitter. Go read her latest fic Cool For The Summer it is everything) for her never-ending encouragement. She never complains about my endless questions and always asking her to word count my fic for me because it's easier for her to do it for me haha. She gets my humour and my sarcasm and if I'm being honest she encourages me to try and end you all with the feels. So feel free to yell at her also. Love you for always x
> 
> Just a quick disclaimer to say that there are mentions of blood, facial injuries and panic attacks in this chapter. Nothing overly descriptive but just thought I'd give you all a head up.
> 
> As always Kudos and Comments are always welcome or come yell at me on Twitter @TheirGoldenFool
> 
>  
> 
> Hope you all enjoy it and don't hate me too much. All will be revealed soon. Have faith.
> 
> All the love
> 
> Z x

Harry was five hours into his fourteen hour long haul flight to Los Angeles when he awoke. He’d unintentionally fallen asleep shortly after take off, the slow rumble of the aeroplane down the runway and the gentle sway as they’d made their ascent to altitude, lulling him to sleep. Spending hours tossing and turning the night before hadn't done him any favours either and he was disappointed to learn that, although he hadn’t planned to sleep, he hadn't slept for as long as he hoped he had. 

 

It was now roughly 10 am Melbourne time, much later than he normally started his day, and he was hungry, thirsty and had an awful pain in his neck and back from sleeping at an awkward angle. The perks of flying First Class meant he had a much wider seat that folded out into a bed, but that didn't change the fact that all seats were to be in their upright positions for take off and landing. It was the part of flying that had always annoyed Harry the most, but it was all in the name of safety therefore he couldn't really argue the point. 

 

Harry tilted his head from side to side, rolling his neck, trying to work the knots out of his sore muscles. The pain in his back was something he’d grown used to. He’d had back problems since he was younger and having to sit on an aeroplane for hours at a time was an unfortunate side effect of his chosen career. First Class seats or not, it was inevitable, so he’d learned to deal with it. 

 

He looked around him to see if he could see a flight attendant passing, hoping to ask for something to eat, knowing he’d missed the in-flight breakfast. He always hated having to press the call button and appear rude. Unfortunately the cabin surrounding him was empty, save for the other passengers, so he got up from his seat, hoping that on his trip to the toilet he’d pass someone and ask then. 

 

Harry made his way towards the front section of the cabin and folded himself into one of the tiny toilet cubicles, going about his business. He was flying First Class, but that didn't make the bathrooms any more grand or luxurious than they were in Economy Class, and his tall frame and long limbs always made them feel even more cramped. He hadn’t passed a flight attendant on his way there, so he silently prayed, as he washed his hands, that there would be someone around when he headed back. But it was as Harry was leaving the toilet that he finally found a flight attendant, accidentally hitting the poor man with the toilet door as he’d opened it. 

 

The man cursed loudly as the door made contact with his face. Harry rushed to exit after realising what he had done and closed the door behind him with more force than he’d meant, causing it to slam loudly. Harry felt as though the eyes of everyone in the cabin were on him and they probably would have been if he’d bothered to turn around and look. Drawing unnecessary attention to himself was the last thing he’d been trying to do. He was already receiving far too many looks from other passengers because of his age, his tattoos and casual outfit choice. Apparently Vans sneakers, skinny jeans and a teal green Adidas hoodie was not appropriate attire when travelling in First Class, and this latest development wasn't helping matters. He really wasn't in the mindset to deal with uptight rich people in such close quarters, or for it to become public knowledge that he was flying to LA, but here he was, making an absolute spectacle of himself. 

 

Harry could feel the heat rising in his cheeks, and he wished in that moment that Louis was there with him, always so much better at dealing with these types of situations than he was. But in lieu of that he prayed the floor of the cabin would open up and swallow him, essentially saving him from his embarrassment. 

 

“Oh my God! Are you ok?” Harry rushed to say, taking in the sight of the flight attendant, who, according to his name tag, was named Danny. He had both hands covering his nose and mouth, and he didn’t say anything in reply at first. After a few seconds, he looked up at Harry with striking, crystal blue eyes. They were the most intriguing shade of blue, and they made Harry think of Louis. His eyes were his favourite shade of blue. Danny’s eyes widened in obvious disbelief when he realised who had spoken to him, and he nodded his head. It was then that Harry noticed there were small, red dots littering the front of his crisp, white shirt. 

 

“Danny, is it?” Harry asked, wanting to make certain that was in fact the man’s name, always having been terrible with getting people’s names right. Again Danny nodded, and so Harry continued on, placing a large, ring clad hand on the other man’s shoulder. 

 

“Ok, Danny, umm, you’re bleeding. You need to sit down and tilt your head back. Is there somewhere you can do that?” Again Danny nodded. Harry could tell he was reluctant to talk, his face no doubt covered in blood, and he silently commended the other man for maintaining his professionalism, despite the pain he was probably in. 

 

“Lead the way,” Harry encouraged, his hand still resting on his shoulder. He felt terrible for injuring the man, and he wasn’t going back to his seat until he was certain that he was ok. It was the least he could do.

 

Danny turned and headed in the direction of the cockpit then, Harry following along silently behind him, attempting not to injure himself or anyone else in the process. When they reached the front of the aeroplane, Danny turned left into the area reserved for the flight attendants and sat down on one of the seats assigned to them for take off and landing. It was only then, when they were away from the prying eyes of the other passengers, that he finally removed his hands from his face. 

 

Harry gasped at the mess Danny was in. His face, hands and chin were covered in blood, and when he tried to offer Harry a weak, yet reassuring smile, it only made him look worse. The blood had worked it’s way into Danny’s mouth and between his teeth and in short the poor man looked as though he’d done ten rounds with Mike Tyson, not Man vs Toilet Door. 

 

“That bad, huh?” Danny asked then, the horrified expression on Harry’s face a dead give away.

 

“Umm. No. I don’t think it’s that bad,” Harry lied. “I think it’s just all the blood that's making it look worse than it is. Where can I find a face washer, or one of those hot towels they hand out?”

 

“Oh. In that cabinet right behind you, second door on the left, but you don't have to do that, I can manage.”

 

“No, really, let me. You put your head back, and I’ll get you one. It’s the least I can do, seeing as I may have potentially broken your nose. I’m so sorry.” Harry felt horrible and although getting a warm towel for the man to wipe his face with and apologising more times than was necessary wasn't the grandest of apologetic gestures, it would have to do for now.

 

“Honestly, I’m fine Harry, no real harm done. Just a nosebleed is all,” Danny mumbled to the ceiling. Danny’s blue eyes and dark hair reminded Harry so much of Louis, it physically hurt him. Harry couldn’t help but admire the column of the man’s neck as he looked upwards, Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed. Harry knew his skin would be soft there, just like his was, like Louis’ was and the light dusting of dark, perfectly groomed facial hair was yet another reminder.

 

He always preferred it when Louis decided not to shave, and, in his sleep deprived and emotional state, Louis was all he wanted. It seemed the smallest thing was enough to remind Harry of just how much he’d missed him these last few days. Harry shook himself from his thoughts then and gave Danny yet another odd look, knowing he probably couldn't see him. He could have sworn he hadn’t introduce himself to Danny, and yet he knew his name. 

 

“How do you know my name?” Harry asked, as if the answer wasn't obvious to him. He rummaged in the cabinet for a warm face towel, also finding a small toiletries kit they handed out to passengers in the next cabinet over, knowing Danny would need to brush his teeth. He could hear laughter from behind him followed by a sharp intake of breath, and Harry spun around, face towels in hand, to find Danny winicing and gingerly gripping the bridge of his nose. 

 

“Ok, so you may have broken my nose after all,” Danny said, a small chuckle escaping him followed by more wincing.

 

“I truly am sorry, Danny. Please allow me to pay for your doctors visits at least. You'll need to get your nose seen to when we arrive in LA. It’s my fault your nose may be broken after all.” Harry handed him the towels then, and he proceeded to gently try and clean up his face and hands, looking decidedly more human and handsome, Harry noted, when he was finished. He had boyish good looks and an easy charm about him, but he’d never met anyone as ruggedly handsome as Louis and he probably never would again. 

 

“There’s no need to go to all that trouble Harry. Work will cover it for me because it happened on the clock. But honestly, stress less mate, I’m fine.” Danny gave Harry a reassuring pat on the arm then as he handed the used face towels back to him, Harry discarding them in the bin to his right. 

 

“Only if you’re sure?” Harry said, needing him to know he was more than willing to cover his medical costs. Harry then washed his hands in the small sink he'd noticed while looking for face washers.

 

“I’m sure. They were right about you, you know. You really are a top bloke.”

 

“Who was right?” Harry asked, handing Danny the toiletries kit when he'd dried his hands, still confused about how Danny knew his name and who ‘they’ were.

 

“Cheers mate,” Danny said smiling at Harry, the skin by his eyes forming crinkles,  _ just like Louis.  _ Harry couldn't help but smile back at him despite his slightly sinister appearance, blood still staining his impeccably straight teeth. It was one of his favourite things about Louis and his dimple filled smile, at this point, was a knee jerk reaction to it.

 

“My sister and her friends,” Danny said then as way of an explanation. “They’re obsessed with you. Always going on about Harry Styles this and Harry Styles that and  _ Oh. My. God. Harry is, sooooo. Hot!”  _ Danny said taking on the mock tone of his sister and her friends. “I’m sick to death of you already, and I’ve only just met you. They do have a point though.” 

 

Harry couldn't help the loud honk of laughter that escaped him then, and he quickly covered his mouth with his hands. He'd always been so self conscious of his laugh, especially when it happened as it had just now, but Louis loved it and that was all that truly mattered. Danny just grinned back at him, clearly forgetting his blood stained teeth and Harry could have sworn he winked at him.

 

Danny stood up then, not carrying on the conversation, only reaching just past Harry’s shoulder. He had a lean body, but he lacked the athletic physique Louis had. The physique that drove Harry wild. The body that felt as though it was made just for him. Danny squeezed his way past Harry, his hand brushing against Harry's thigh as he passed and made his way to the small sink behind him, beginning to brush his teeth. 

 

Harry suddenly felt rather awkward at being in such close proximity to Danny, alone. He couldn't help but think that his touch had been intentional and was now worried he’d somehow been flirting with him, unaware he was doing so. But they were in a cramped space, and Harry reasoned with himself that he was simply imagining things and that it had been an accident. 

 

Harry looked down at his feet then, refusing to let his eyes look anywhere but straight down. He didn't want to give Danny any more reason to believe he was flirting with him and his stomach rolled at the thought. He loved Louis. He was completely and utterly gone for the man. There was no one else in the world for him but his blue eyed boy. And there never would be again. If he couldn't have Louis, if Louis really didn't love him anymore, then he would walk the Earth alone. Live a solitary existence, as a shell of a man who'd lost the best thing that had ever happened to him. 

 

Harry startled, his head snapping up when Danny placed a warm hand on his lower back. He jerked away from his touch and began fiddling with his rings, a tell tale sign that he was uncomfortable and agitated. 

 

“I'm sorry. Are you ok? I didn't-” Danny suddenly looked extremely embarrassed and his cheeks flushed bright red. 

 

“It's-it’s ok. I'm ok,” Harry lied, still not really looking Danny in the eye. Louis would have known he wasn't ok. Louis always knew. 

 

“I- my sister, and her friends, they told me you were into guys,” Danny said shrugging his shoulders and casting his eyes downwards. “I'm sorry for flirting with you. And for assuming you were gay too. Or. Into guys at least. It was wrong of me to assume such a thing, not to mention highly unprofessional.” 

 

Harry's head flew up at his words and he stood gaping at the man in front of him. Of all the things that Harry had expected him to say that certainly wasn't it. Harry felt horrible for making him feel bad, already feeling like an idiot for causing him harm, and he rushed to assure him that he was in fact ok.

 

“Umm, you didn't assume anything,” Harry said, his words coming out slowly, methodically as he took his time thinking about what he was about to say. If he wasn't already in major shit with Simon, he would be as soon as he arrived in LA. Danny would relay all of this to his sister no doubt and soon his entire fan base would know. But Harry was done with hiding. He was done with trying to fit into a round hole when he was a square peg. 

 

“What? What do you mean?” Danny said looking shyly at Harry, now thoroughly confused.

 

“You didn't assume my sexuality. I do like men. I have a boyfriend, actually. Louis. I'm just not supposed to.” Harry watched as realisation dawned on the other man’s face, and he braced himself for the inevitable. 

 

“Louis. As in Louis Tomlinson? Isn't he like a crazy stalker? It's all anyone's been talking about for days. Ever since that bar fight on Friday night it's all the new mobs are talking about.” 

 

Harry could feel his anger rising at Danny's words. He wasn't angry at Danny really. He was angry at himself for not standing up to his management team sooner and stopping the lies before they were all anyone would believe. 

 

“I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that,” Danny apologized, noting the look of rage in Harry's eyes and the way his hands had balled into fists. “No one knows he's your boyfriend Harry. I'm really sorry for putting my foot in it. Is Louis ok?”

 

“No. Don't be sorry. I'm glad you said that actually. It just means my bigoted, narrow minded management team are up to their usual tricks.”

 

“Wow, bold statement. What makes you say that?”

 

“I had my assistant put out a press release stating Louis and I would be heading to my hotel so that he could recuperate. And yet, here you are, still under the impression that Louis is some crazed stalker out to kill me.” 

 

“But--why? Why would they shut you down like that? What's it to them who you are with?” 

 

Harry’s anger dissipated slightly then, and he offered Danny a genuine smile. It was something he'd been asking himself for years, and he was glad to know he wasn't the only one who felt that way. 

 

“I honestly have no idea, Danny. I have been asking myself those exact questions for years.” Harry sighed, shrugging his shoulders feeling slightly defeated. 

 

“Mate, excuse my language, but who gives a fuck? You're with Louis. So what? Are you happy? Do you love each other?” Harry looked at him then, not believing what he was hearing. 

 

“Yeah. Yeah, we are. We do. Or, at least I thought we did. It's been a rough few days for us.” 

 

“Then, in that case, it's no one else's business who you love is it? Having a boyfriend, a girlfriend, one of each or none of either doesn't make you a great artist, Harry. Talent does.” 

 

“I know,” Harry agreed with a sniffle, feeling himself tear up. All he'd wanted for years was to be able to be himself. To be the real Harry. Not some cookie cutter version Simon and Jeff wanted him to be, and it was overwhelming to meet someone who wasn't his family, friends or Louis who understood that. “It's just that apparently sex sells. I'm just having the ‘wrong’ kind of sex apparently.” 

 

It was Danny's turn to laugh then, quickly regretting it when a flash of pain shot through his nose. “Shit, that really hurts,” he said through another laugh, wincing at the pain. “And they don't know what they're missing out on. They shouldn't knock it till they try it.” 

 

Harry smiled, having said those exact words himself. “I know. Their loss.” 

 

“Is that why your off to LA then?” 

 

“Yeah, unfortunately. I've been summoned by Satan. Umm, I'm mean Simon.” Danny laughed again followed by another grimace. 

 

“Stop making me laugh Styles, this really hurts!” Harry laughed, and Danny laughed too. “Well, I wish you all the luck Harry and I.really do hope Louis is ok. I'm sorry to cut this short, but I better get back to work before they come looking for me. And remember, if negotiations take a nosedive, just knock them out with a door. Doors hurt noses.” 

 

Harry made his way back to his seat shortly after, sandwich and a bottle of water in hand. He was feeling decidedly more confident about his meeting with Simon after his conversation with Danny. Danny had forgiven him for almost breaking his nose, which at this point was still a possibility. Harry had signed a few autographs for his sister and her two closest friends, promising to follow them all on Twitter as his way of saying thank you for Danny's kind words and advice.

 

He still missed Louis. He still didn't know how they were going to mend their relationship and return to how they were before, but he knew that he'd do everything in his power it make it right between them, and so he did what he did best for the remainder of his flight. 

 

He wrote Louis a song. Or two. 

  
  


……

 

“Louis Tomlinson?” 

 

Louis’ head snapped up as his name was called by a kind looking, middle aged gentleman, and he gripped Dea’s hand tightly. He suddenly felt as though there wasn't enough air in the waiting room. His throat felt dry, and his chest felt tight. His brow and palms had begun to sweat. The harsh fluorescent lights were suddenly too bright, his eyes burning and filling with tears and the noise seemed to increase in volume until his head felt like it may explode. He was terrified. He knew it; Dea knew it and anyone else watching him knew it too. He needed Harry. Why did he have to leave him? Why wasn't he here? 

 

“Lou, they are calling your name,” Dea said softly, so that only Louis could hear her. Louis looked at her with wide, tear filled eyes. Not entirely comprehending what she'd said. All he could do was shake his head and grip her hand tighter in his own.

 

“Louis Tomlinson?” 

 

Again, his name was called, a little louder this time, and Louis swallowed down the bile rising rapidly in his throat. He felt as though he may be sick, and his hands were shaking. He couldn't do this. He couldn't face this without Harry. 

 

“One moment please,” Dea called, the doctor giving her a kind smile in acknowledgment. He could see that Louis was a nervous wreck, so he gave Dea a moment to try and calm him down.

 

“Louis. Look at me.” Louis looked towards Dea, trying to focus on his erratic breathing, trying to force air into his lungs and ignore the burning sensation with each breath. He still wasn't really hearing the words she was saying to him. “You need to calm down. It will be fine. I am here with you. I am not leaving you to do this alone. You have to breathe.” 

 

“D--I can't. I-- I can't do this.” Hot, fat tears were tumbling down Louis’ cheeks, and his words came in short huffs. He was still shaking his head from side to side, gazing into Dea's eyes, imploring her to understand how terrified he was. 

 

“Lou--you must. It is for your health. What is it that scares you?” 

 

“The--” Louis was openly sobbing now, attracting the stares of everyone around him, but he didn't care. He couldn't do this. Not without Harry. He needed Harry.

 

“The wound? How it looks?” Dea supplied, saving him from having to voice it himself. Louis simply nodded, more tears continuing to fall. He hadn't told her, and he hadn't told Harry either. Sustaining a facial injury that left a permanent scar was one of his deepest fears, and now he was about to confront it head on. He couldn't. He just couldn't. 

 

“Lou, no matter what it looks like, you are beautiful. Inside and out. And do you not think that Harry would not move heaven and Earth for you to fix it, if it's able to be fixed? You do not know how bad it is yet. At least let's see what we are dealing with first.” 

 

Louis looked at her, focusing on her green eyes. They reminded him so much of Harry's eyes. He felt oddly comforted, yet so alone as he looked at her, her eyes yet another reminder that Harry wasn't here. They weren't Harry's eyes. He let her words sink in for a moment. Could he do this? Could he be strong enough to do this without Harry? He knew he wasn't. But he knew that he had to try to be. 

 

“You won't leave me?” Is what Louis decided to say. 

 

“Not for a second. I'll be with you the entire time. Please breathe, Lou. It will be all okay; I promise to you.” 

 

“Better get this show on the road then.”

 

Louis took a deep breath, trying to calm his breathing and used the sleeve of his hoodie to wipe his tears. He was definitely going to be in hot water for making a mess of Harry's favourite hoodie. The thought made him smile, and he thought back to the words Harry had written on the note included with his flowers. 

 

_ My happiness is his to take when he needs a little strength. _

 

It had always amazed him how Harry knew exactly what he needed, before he even did. As promised, Louis felt stronger knowing that Harry was thinking of him, and with Dea by his side, he slowly made his way towards the doctor who was still patiently waiting for him.

 

“Louis Tomlinson?” The doctor asked as Louis approached him. 

 

“Yeah. Sorry for keeping you waiting,” Louis said feeling silly now, stuffing his hands into his pockets, head bowed. He'd seen better behaved toddlers. 

 

“It's fine, Mr. Tomlinson, no need to apologise. Please follow me.” He turned on his heels then, heading down a short corridor to another section of corridor filled with offices. Louis read the names and qualifications of the other doctors as they passed door after door until they arrived at one that read,  _ Dr. Remus Peats. MBBs. FRACS (Plast).  _

 

Dr. Peats opened the door to his office and lead the way inside. “Please, take a seat,” he said, gesturing towards two comfortable looking chairs by his desk.

 

“Good afternoon. I am Dr. Remus Peats,” he began shaking Louis’ hand.  “And you are?” he continued smiling at Dea and shaking her hand too. 

 

“I'm Dea, Louis’ friend.” 

 

“It's a pleasure to meet both of you.” He made his way around his desk then, taking a seat and bringing up Louis’ file on his computer. 

 

“So,” he started, looking towards them both and clapping his hands together, silver framed glasses perched on the end of his nose. “As I said, I am Dr. Remus Peats. I am one of the four resident Plastic Surgery and Facial Reconstruction Specialists here at Frankston Private, and I will be looking after you while you receive your Outpatient care.” Louis’ stomach rolled at the words ‘Facial Reconstruction Specialist’ and the miniscule amount of strength he'd mustered, suddenly disappeared. 

 

“I've had a chat with Dr. Barnard up at St 

Vincent's, and he's informed me that you haven't seen the full extent of your injuries yet. Is this correct?” 

 

“Umm. Yeah. I guess you could say that. Anything covered by a bandage I haven't seen.” 

 

“Well then, in that case, let me first explain to you what your injuries were and then we'll  have a look at them.” 

 

“Uh, okay. Sure.” Louis didn't know what was worse: being told the severity of his injuries or actually seeing them. Seeing it for himself was probably worse, he reasoned. He wished he wasn't here. He wished in that moment he was at home, with Harry. Harry who is his home. His everything. But he couldn't even if he wanted to and even if Harry was home, he was barely even speaking to him. But he needed Harry. He needed him to hold him and protect him and tell him everything would be okay. And without that, without him, he felt utterly lost. 

 

“Are you okay, Mr. Tomlinson? You look very pale. Are you in any pain?” Dr. Peats asked, a concerned note to his voice. 

 

“Please, call me Louis. And no, I'm not in pain. Well, I'm in what I assume is the regular amount of pain considering, but nothing major. Can I be honest with you here?”

 

“Of course, Louis. Please do,” Dr. Peats encouraged, Louis noting the honesty in his words.

 

“Excuse my language, but I'm fucking terrified. I have never been so terrified of anything in my entire life. Well, maybe that time my boyfriend, Harry, made me go out onto The Edge with him at The Eureka Skydeck, but you get the point. I'm shitting myself.” 

 

“He is scared of what it will look like,” Dea supplied not wanting to say too much, but enough that the doctor understood why Louis was so afraid. 

 

“I see. It's not uncommon for patients to react to facial injuries in this way, Louis,” he began, pushing his.glasses up into his greying hair and focusing his attention on Louis. “It's a genuine fear for a lot of people, facial disfigurement. However it is my field of expertise, and I hope that I am able to answer any questions you may have about your injuries as I assess them. I will also try, to the best of my abilities, to give you the best advice I can on future treatments and reconstructive surgeries you may be interested in, if that's an avenue that is feasible and something you wish to do.” 

 

“Yeah. Okay. That sounds good I guess.” Louis was relieved to hear that he wasn't the only person who had an irrational fear of having something happening to their face, like being glassed for example. Dr. Peats seemed genuine enough about helping to explain things to Louis as they went along, and Louis decided then to stop beating around the bush and get on with it. 

 

“Wonderful. Okay, first of all,” Dr. Peats said, turning his attention back to the computer screen, scanning Louis’ file. “As you are no doubt painfully aware of, you've sustained three lacerations, that were thankfully able to be sutured and multiple contusions to the right cheek, eye and temple area. You also have a Subconjunctival Hemorrhage and a concussion.”

 

“A what? And what the hell are contusions?” Louis rambled out before the doctor could say another word. He didn't like the sound of that, not one bit. Why couldn't doctors just say it in layman's terms to begin with? Why did they have to make it sound a thousand times worse than it already was? 

 

“A Subconjunc--,” Dr Peats cut off halfway through his sentence and studied Louis for a moment. “You know what, why don't you come with me down to the room where we will be changing your dressings, and I'll show you as we go along. Would that work better for you?” 

 

Louis considered this for a moment, tossing up whether simply being told about his injuries or actually seeing them and having them explained to him would be a better option. He looked to Dea, hoping that he'd find the answer in her kind eyes, and she nodded gently. 

 

“Lou, maybe if you saw the wounds. Have the doctor tell you about them, it will be better, no?” 

 

“Dea is more than welcome to come along if that's what you prefer, Louis. We aim to try and make this as painless as possible for you. It is very confronting seeing such severe wounds for the first time, and we encourage patients to bring a support person with them.” Louis looked at Dr. Peats then as if to make certain he wasn't lying to him. He nodded and smiled, a look of sincerity crossing his features. Louis turned to Dea again. He felt so confused. 

 

“Would you, D? If you don't want to see my face like this I'll-- I'll understand.” Louis looked down at his feet, twisting his hands in his lap and fiddling with the strings on his hoodie waiting for Dea's answer. 

 

“Of course I will. I told you already. I will not leave you.” Dea looked at him, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. It was hard to watch him like this, knowing that although he appreciated everything she'd done for him today and everything she was about to do, she wasn't Harry. Louis needed Harry. 

 

“Okay. Yeah. That would be better, I think. I don't know-- I'm so confused-- and scared. I-- I don't know-- I don't-- I---” 

 

Louis felt so overwhelmed in that moment, feeling like the very walls were closing in on him. He just wanted to hide and never come out. He felt as though his body just couldn’t get enough air, as if it was sucked from the room with a vacuum. He began to hyperventilate, gasping for air, the breath he did have leaving his lungs in a loud wheeze. His entire body heaved with it, and he began to rock himself backwards and forwards on his chair using the neck of his hoodie to cover his face the now hot air not helping matters. It was then that both Dea and Dr. Peats sprang into action. 

 

“Louis. You need to take deep breaths for me. Can you do that? In-- and out. In-- and out.” 

 

“Is he ok? He can't breathe!” Dea was beside herself with worry. 

 

“He'll be fine. He's having a panic attack. We need to go down to an examination room right now. He needs oxygen.” Louis could hear them talking back and forth, and he was pretty sure they were talking about him given the look of worry across their features, but his muddled brain wouldn’t process the words coming from their mouths.

 

He felt strong hands slowly pull him out of his chair as they began the short walk down the corridor to an empty examination room. He wasn’t paying attention to his surroundings though. He couldn’t. Not when he could barely breath. It was a miracle his shaking legs could hold him, much less do the movements required for walking. Once inside, Dea helped Louis up onto the bed, then Dr. Peats fitted an oxygen mask to his face. Louis felt the tight band go over his face and the back of his neck. It felt as though it was strangling him, too tight. 

 

“I need you to take deep breaths, Louis. As big as you can.” Louis looked at him with wide, fearful eyes, tears tracking down his cheeks. He nodded, but didn’t quite comprehend the words that were flowing from the doctors mouth. He just knew his body needed air, so he tried to breathe as deeply as he could, letting the oxygen flow into his lungs. But he couldn't. He couldn't get his brain to focus on breathing in and out. He couldn't make his heart stop racing, and his hands stop shaking. He couldn't stop the panic from rising or the overwhelming sense of fear that felt as though he was drowning in. 

 

Louis tore at the mask, pulling at a scab that had formed on his face, the cut now beginning to bleed. The red drops ran down his face and mingled with his tears, and he just couldn't. Everything was too much. He couldn’t think. The lights were getting dim, his vision blurry from his tears and lack of oxygen. His chest constricted even more every time he managed to get a the smallest breath in. His heart was beating erratically, limbs shaking with his panic.  

 

“Louis! Stop! You need to breathe. Please, just breathe.” 

 

“Ha-- I nee-- I can't--” Louis was hysterical now, slowly but surely losing all control. 

 

“Louis you're ok. You're safe. You need to put the mask back on and take deep breaths for me.” Dr. Peats tried his best to reassure him. “We don't have to do this today. If you're not ready to see the extent of your injuries you don't have to see them.” 

 

“I-- I need-- Har-- Harry. I need-- Harry.” 

  
  


…..

 

“Harry? Are you almost ready to leave? The car will be here in 20 minutes,” Tay called, her voice breaking through Harry's  subconscious and he sincerely hoped she couldn't hear the sounds he was making.

 

Harry had been overcome with emotion when he'd arrived at LAX, after the most eventful flight of his life, to find Tay waiting for him at baggage claim. He'd run straight into her arms and begun to cry, the eyes of everyone around him boring into him. He was so thankful to see a friendly, familiar face and the realisation that he wouldn't have to face the next few days alone had been too much for him. 

 

Harry was supposed to be getting ready for his meeting with the living embodiment of Satan. He was supposed to be running through all the questions he wanted to ask him and all the bullshit answers he knew he was bound to get. Harry was supposed to be doing a lot of things.

 

Instead he was laying in the middle of the spacious king sized bed in his hotel suite, his naked body covered in a sheen of sweat, one strong hand wrapped around his leaking cock. The cool metal of his rings causing an intoxicating friction. He'd tried to stamp down the urge to get himself off for hours, slowly but surely losing the battle raging between his cock and his mind as the seconds ticked by, but he was horny. He was also agitated, and he missed Louis. He felt so guilty, especially with the state their relationship was in and knowing what Louis must being going through at the present moment, but thoughts of Louis’ pink lips wrapped around his cock and the way his cheeks hollowed as he sucked his length filled his mind. It just felt  _ so good _ .

 

He couldn't stop himself from thinking back to the last time he and Louis had sex. It felt like months since they'd made love to each other, but, in reality, it hadn't been more than a week. Basically the same thing in Harry's opinion. Louis had looked so beautiful, his nimble fingers opening Harry wide, his cock filling him up inch by devastating inch. Harry could almost feel his toes curl and the all over tingling sensation as he'd come. It was something only Louis had ever been able to make him feel and the way his mouth had made love bites on Harry's alabaster skin that had lasted for days only made his cock harder. 

 

Harry looked down at the space between his unoccupied hand and leg, his phone laying open, an incredibly sexy picture of Louis with purple bruises littering his collar bones, hard cock laying against his stomach, staring back at him. Harry bit down hard on his bottom lip, his teeth sure to leave small indents. He pumped his hand faster as his eyes roamed over the picture of Louis, taking in everything from the small beads of precome at his slit, to the way he knew his pretty pink hole was puckering in anticipation of his cock. 

 

Harry could feel his orgasm building, the familiar tightening and tingling sensation starting to grow in intensity from somewhere deep in the pit of his stomach. He moved his free hand to his mouth, using his warm, wet tongue to coat his fingers in spit before changing hands, his hand gliding over the sensitive skin of his pulsating cock. 

 

“Fuck…” Harry moaned out. He was so close, teetering on the edge of the abyss. His hand moved faster still, his breaths coming in short, sharp huffs. He was panting and sweating, and he was  _ so close.  _ He felt as though he needed more friction, but he couldn't make his hand move any faster. He was starting to lose his rhythm. If only Louis were here, his warm body engulfing Harry's, his balls slapping against Harry's ass as he pounded into him over and over and over and... 

 

“ _ Louis! _ ”

 

Harry came. Hard. 

 

Ribbons of hot come shot from him as he came harder than he had in ages, coating his hand, stomach and chest in the sticky substance. He laid still, basking in his orgasm, his cock continuing to pulsate in his hand, starting to feel over sensitive. His heart felt like he had just run a marathon, blood pumping through his body at an alarming rate. He took a few deep breaths to try to calm his thrumming body, suddenly feeling far to sticky from sweat and his own release.

 

“No, Harry. It’s Tay. Louis isn’t even here. Have you gone mental?” Harry heard from the other side of the door. “What's taking you so long?”

 

“Nothing!” Harry called back hoping he didn't sound as fucked out and breathless as he felt. “I'm just… coming.”

  
  


……

 

Harry had convinced Tay to stay at the hotel while he attended his meeting with Simon. The car had arrived at the front of the hotel at precisely 12:30pm, and Harry had clambered reluctantly into the back seat. He had expected to be taken to Simon's offices in downtown LA but had been confused when the driver had driven in the opposite direction, pulling up in front of a extravagant looking restaurant named  _ Bavel _ , twenty minutes later. 

 

He glanced down at his choice of outfit, deciding in that moment that black skinny jeans, Chelsea boots and a rather revealing floral shirt, probably wasn't the kind of attire the establishment was used to. Oh well. If he was going to have to sit through an entire hour or more of Simon's incessant rambling and diatribe, then he was going to do it in style at least. Something Simon was severely lacking.

 

Harry took a deep breath, thanking his driver, then made his way out of the car and into the restaurant. He was met by a young blonde haired woman, standing next to a lectern as he entered. 

 

“Good afternoon, Mr. Styles. Mr. Cowell is expecting you. This way please.” Harry felt slightly uncomfortable at the situation, not having even gotten a single word out, and yet the woman knew who he was and who he was meeting.

 

“Oh, umm, thank you,” Harry mumbled and silently followed along behind her until they came to a table for four at the back of the room. 

 

“Here you are, Sir. A waiter will be along shortly to take your drink orders.” She gave Harry a warm smile before she turned on her heel and headed back to the front of the restaurant. 

 

“Harry, lovely to see you,” Simon simpered out in the condescending way only Simon could as Harry sat down at the table.

 

“Pardon me if the feeling isn't mutual, Simon.” Harry spat, glaring across the table at him as he spoke, his hands balling into fists in his lap, his anger rising. 

 

“Now, now young Harold. Save the excitement for when our guests arrive,” Simon drawled, a smug smile filling his face. Harry's stomach rolled, and his skin felt like it was crawling under Simon's gaze.

 

“What guests?” 

 

“Ah! Here they are now.” Harry turned his head to look behind, him following Simon's gaze. It was then that he realised who Simon was referring to. Jeff he'd been expecting, but it was his companion that had Harry seeing red. Jeff he'd been expecting, but it was his companion that had Harry seeing red. Of all the people in the entire universe to show up, he'd never have guessed he'd bring her. Jeff and Simon had been trying in vain to set them up for years, and Harry had always managed to talk his way out of it. But she was a household name now and there were no doubt a huddle of paps hiding in a bush across the street, lying in wait to try and snap a picture of the pair together. At Simon's request no doubt. This was all Harry needed. Louis would see the pictures, that would no doubt be front page news tomorrow, and there would be no saving their relationship then. Why her? And why now? Harry was trying in vain to preemptively answer all of his own questions, but he was seething and it was all he could focus on.   
  
He turned back to face Simon then, snarling the words out between gritted teeth.    
  
  
“Simon. What the  _ fuck _ is  _ she _ doing here?”


	20. Fight or Flight , Turnarounds and Malicious Meetings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis returns home from his appointment and Harry has to face the music.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know its been 847568 years again and trust me when I say this, I do not intentionally take so long to upload chapters. I have two young children and I'm a single parent and I also care for my mum so I don't always have a lot of time to write these days. However, that being said, I will finish this fic. I will not abandon it. Even if it does take me way longer than normal to get chapters out. So please don't think that I'm going to abandon this because I wont. Its already been 6 months in the making I'm not about to give up on it now.
> 
> As always an extremely humungous thank you and all the love in the world to Lena (@Wicked_Archer on tw. Go check out her fics they're all brilliant) She called me out massively on this chapter which in part is why it took so long to write because I ended up re writing most of it hahaha. I'm so grateful she did though because it's turned out way better than I hoped. Thank you for helping me work out timelines, kep my characters true to who they are and for all the math! You truly are a legend and I don't know what I'd do without you xxxx
> 
> And lastly but by no means least THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU to everyone who has been here since the beginning and has seen this through. To all the new readers and to those who haven't lost faith in me to finish it. It means so much to me that you all read and enjoy this fic. I've loved and hated writing it, sometimes pulling my hair out because I want it to be perfect for all of you. You are all amazing.
> 
> As always I hope you enjoy this chapter.
> 
> Kudos and comments are always welcome or come say hi to me on twitter : @TheirGoldenFool
> 
>  
> 
> All the love
> 
>  
> 
> Z x

Mark pulled up to the front of Louis’ house a little after 5 pm. Louis had been at the hospital for just over four hours before he'd finally convinced Dr. Peats that he was ok and wasn't going to have another panic attack as soon as he left the hospital. Dea had begged him to listen to Dr. Peats and stay overnight for observation, but he was adamant he would be fine. He was a grown man after all. He'd also let it slip that his mum was a nurse, so in the event he did have another panic attack, he'd have someone there who knew how to help him. Dr. Peats didn't need to know she wouldn't be home until tomorrow morning though, so to appease him he’d agreed to take the sleeping pills the doctor had prescribed for him. 

 

Louis was still in somewhat low spirits as he and Dea exited the car and went into the house. He'd finally been confronted by his injuries, as a kind nurse named Lara had changed his dressings for him. Dr. Peats had rambled on about stitches, soft tissue damage, bruising and burst blood vessels, but Louis hadn't really been listening to him. All he could focus on was the overwhelming reality that he relied on Harry as a source of strength far more than he’d realised and that if he had been there it would have no doubt gone much more smoothly.

 

He'd always been an independent and resourceful person. Able to deal, somewhat, with difficult situations. Even if his methods of coping were sometimes questionable, he had always been able to be the strong one for his mum and Lottie. Ever since he'd met Harry, he didn't have to be that person all of the time. He didn't always have to be strong. He didn't always have to hold it together and put a smile on his face and pretend everything was ok. 

 

Harry gave him the opportunity to not be ok if he wasn't, assuring him that sometimes everyone needed a break from being the strong one. Harry helped him to share the load, helped him to carry his proverbial baggage, so that the weight of it wasn't resting entirely on Louis’ shoulders. But not this time. He'd left him to bear it all on his own, and Louis was struggling. Feeling as though he was trapped in quicksand, sinking further into it as each stressful minute passed by that Harry wasn't there. 

 

“Tea?” He asked Dea, wandering slowly into the kitchen, in no real hurry to do anything. He was exhausted, and his chest still hurt. 

 

“I would love one. Today has been very long.”

 

“I'm sorry you had to go through all that today, Dea. I- I'm so ashamed of myself.” Louis had the decency to look ashamed.

 

“Don't be. You sometimes can't always be strong, Lou. It's human.” Louis looked at her and smiled a small, genuine smile. Harry had said the exact same thing to him once before. All he had to do now was convince himself that what they were telling him was the truth.

 

After Louis made them both a cup of hot tea, they headed down to the studio, where they curled up on the Chesterfield under a fluffy blanket. It smelled of Harry’s vanilla body wash, and it took all Louis had in him not to bundle it up to his nose and take a deep breath. He knew he would look like a complete idiot, and it would probably be painful to take such a deep breath at this point. Therefore he simply moved his face closer to the blanket, so that the scent filled his nose as he breathed in and out. He wished Harry was with him. It seemed that no matter what he did or where he went he was reminded of Harry. Reminded that he wasn’t there with him, and he needed a distraction. 

 

“I meant to ask you earlier,” Louis began after they had been sat in silence for a while. “Why didn't Caroline come with you? I hope she doesn't mind staying at home by herself. She is welcome to come down here you know.” Dea looked at him sheepishly, a worried look on her face, opening and closing her mouth a few times as if she was unsure what to say. 

 

“Well,” she began, looking at him, an almost heartbroken expression crossing her face. “Caroline is not here. She has gone home to Belgium.” Her voice was so small.

 

“Oh, for a holiday?” Tears began to form in Dea’s eyes at his words, and she shook her head slowly.

 

“No. For good.”

 

“What!?” Louis yelled out in utter disbelief. “When? She was only with us at the bar on Friday night. What happened?” Louis sat up straighter, facing Dea, giving her his full attention. It was the least he could do after all she had done for him today. 

 

“Her parents made her return, and so she went. She left yesterday.”

 

“But, what about you? She just left you here. Do you not mean anything to her?”

 

“She chose her family. They got into a big argument about it, and she would not go against her father's word. They do not know she has, well,  _ had  _ a girlfriend; I have to accept that. I have to be ok with her decision.”

 

“That’s utter bollocks, and you know it Dea. If she loved you, she would have told her parents to shove it where the sun don’t shine. How could she say she loved you and then do this to you?”

 

“We were never really so serious. Not like you and Harry, Lou. She wouldn’t give up her life and her career for me Louis. Like Harry would for you. Or I would have for her. We had fun while it lasted. But there is not much I can do now.”

 

Louis knew he was gaping at her, his mouth opening and closing, but no words were coming out. He was having a hard time processing the fact that Caroline had just walked away. Had gone running back to her parents in Belgium not even giving Dea a second thought. He didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know how to make Dea feel better, and now he felt guilty. He’d been so wrapped up in himself and Harry, he hadn’t even stopped to ask her how she was. 

 

“I’m so sorry, D. I don’t even know what to say to you. What can I say? Nothing I say or do is going to make her change her mind, obviously. I just wish she had tried to fight for you. Tried to fight for what you had like I need to fight for Harry. I have been such a shit friend and boyfriend. And son and brother for that matter. I’ve been so wrapped up in my own head, I’ve not taken the time to ask how any of you are doing, and I'm sorry. I really am.” 

 

“You do not have to say you are sorry, Louis. I understand. These past days have been terrible for everyone. I do not blame you.”

 

“I just wish you’d have called me and told me, D. You know Harry and I would have been happy to have you here, even though we can’t get our own shit together. You are our friend, and we love you. You shouldn't have had to go through all of this alone.” 

 

“I know, Lou. I do. I love you both very much, but I needed some time. You are the first I have told of this. Even Harry doesn't know, and he called at five minutes after she left.” Dea’s eyes were shining with unshed tears and her lip had begun to wobble as she spoke. It seemed that neither of them were coping with the state of their love lives.

 

“You should have told him, or at least text me. Now, get over here and give me a cuddle.” Dea launched herself into Louis’ waiting arms, and they hugged tightly. Louis felt a little better now. His chest wasn't hurting as much, and he didn't feel like he was sinking. Well, not as fast anyway. They pulled apart after a few moments and Dea placed a chaste kiss on Louis’ uninjured cheek. He smiled a warm, genuine smile at her before a thought hit him.

 

“Speaking of texting, I should probably check my phone. I've had it on silent all day, and I've completely forgotten all about it to be honest.”

 

“There's probably one hundred notifications on there, Lou. You are the crazed stalker of ‘The Harry Styles’ after all. You're famous. It is lucky your mum likes to leave written notes for you or you'd never know where she is or her you.” Louis poked his tongue out at her then prompting her to laugh. Yes, he was definitely feeling much better.

 

“Ha fucking ha. There's fifty thousand out of work comedians in the world, and, yet, here you are trying to be funny.” Dea placed a hand on her chest at his words, a look of shock on her face before her facade slipped into a fit of the giggles. 

 

“I have no idea what you mean. I am hilarious,” Dea replied, wiping tears of laughter from her eyes. 

 

“I’ll believe you. Millions wouldn’t, but I’ll believe you.”

 

“How kind of you to say.” Louis simply continued to smile at her, attempting to wiggle his phone out of the oversized pocket on the front of his hoodie. He quickly opened it and was surprised to learn that Dea was right, he did indeed have what looked like hundreds of notifications, but, in reality, it was more like ten. 

 

He quickly discarded the notifications from his social media accounts, not in the mood to deal with his ever growing fanbase right now and opened a message from his mum. Her message was brief, only a few words telling him that she was thinking of him and that she hoped his appointment went well. Louis snorted as he read the words, she couldn’t have been more wrong if she’d tried. His appointment had been disastrous to put it mildly, and if he never had to set foot in a hospital again for as long as he lived, it wouldn’t be soon enough.  

 

It was as he was about to close his phone and hide away from it again that he noticed another text message. A message from,  _ Harry _ . According to his phone it had been delivered at 4:30am, and he knew Harry must have sent it before he boarded his flight. 

 

“Louis, what is wrong?” Dea asked then, no doubt noting the look of sadness marring his features. It was a message from Harry, the love of his lifetimes and he had missed it. He’d been so busy feeling sorry for himself and acting like a petulant five year old that he hadn’t bothered to look at his phone all day. 

 

He realised then that he hadn’t even taken thirty seconds to message Harry and thank him for his flowers, or to tell him how his appointment went or to wish him a safe flight either, and he suddenly felt like the scum of the Earth again. He was being so selfish and treating Harry like dirt, and yet he’d had the hide to call Harry the selfish one. He really wouldn't be surprised if Harry thought he didn't love him anymore. He hated himself in that moment, and yet again he had no idea how to fix the mess he had created. 

 

“Harry text me before he boarded his flight and I missed it. I know he will still be flying but I didn’t even think to check if he had tried to call or message me. I feel horrible. He’s really going to think I don’t love him now.”

 

“Why? What does his message say?”

 

“It says, I need you to know that I love you. That last night, sleeping alone, it killed me. I miss you, Lou. I miss us. Please forgive me. All my love. Always. H. Kiss, kiss.” 

 

“Well then. What is it exactly about that message that makes you think that he doesn't love you? Hmm? Seems as though it is the opposite if you ask me.” 

 

“I don’t deserve him--” Dea cut him off then, fixing him with a steady glare, an accusatory finger pointed in his direction. 

 

“Now you listen to me Louis Tomlinson. I’ve had enough of your pity party. It’s time to throw that broken record in the bin. Everyone is sick of listening to it. Now. I am going to ask you some questions, you do not have to answer right away as I ask them, but I need a yes or no answer when I am finished, ok?” 

 

“Okay,” Louis mumbled and bowed his head, peering at Dea through his long lashes, worried now about what she was going to ask him.

 

“Does yelling at him when you argue make your throat burn like you've downed 6 shots?” Louis moved to answer, but Dea held up a finger to silence him. 

 

“Do his eyes stop you in your tracks and make you think harder about what you say to him next? Does his laugh make you tense up your knuckles thinking about never hearing it again?” Louis was on the verge of tears now, his eyes shining with them, and he swallowed hard as Dea continued to rattle off question after question.

 

“Does his voice calm your worst anxiety attacks and make you want to listen to anything he has to say? Does his smile make your chest quake and your lungs shrink, and yet feel refreshed all at the same time?” After a few seconds, when Louis realised Dea had finished asking her questions, he began to nod his head vigorously. 

 

“Yes, yes to all of it,” he croaked out, his throat feeling tight, his mouth dry. Dea smiled at him then, her posture relaxing.

 

“Then you love him just as fiercely as he loves you.”

 

“But, but how do you know? How can you be sure?” Louis needed to know she was sure, that it was with one hundred percent certainty that he and Harry loved each other as much as she was saying they did.

 

“Because I am merely repeating all the things Harry said to me last night, Lou. They are his words not mine.” 

 

Louis looked down at his phone again, Harry’s words staring back at him and he just couldn’t think of a response that summed up all of his feelings. Harry deserved better than a text message that seemed as though it was an afterthought. A courtesy. 

 

“I’m not going to reply to his message,” Louis said then and Dea looked at him skeptically.

 

“And why not?”

 

“Because he deserves so much better than a text message that seems as though I only sent it to him out of courtesy so as not to be rude. I love him so much, Dea. He deserves to know how much properly.” 

 

“I think that makes a lot of sense, Lou. I’m sure Harry will understand when you talk to him. Will he even have landed yet?”

 

“No, he won't land for another hour or so, and to be perfectly honest, I’m not sure I could stay awake that long, even if I wanted to.” 

 

“I know, Lou. It has been a very stressful, tiring few days. Why don’t we go and shower and head to bed? We can start fresh in the morning, after a good night's sleep and with our heads clear.” 

 

Louis nodded then, offering his friend a tight lipped smile, both of them standing up from the sofa and heading upstairs to their respective bedrooms. As Dea approached the door of the guest bedroom, she stopped and turned towards Louis.

 

“Everything will be fine, Lou, I promise you. So long as you are willing to fight for Harry, as much as he is fighting for you.”

 

“I am. I will. I love him more than anything in this world. I'd give up my last breath for him, Dea, I just have to prove that to him.” 

 

Dea smiled at him and with that both Louis and Dea disappeared behind the doors of their rooms, whispering quiet ‘Good nights’ to each other as they went. Louis had every intention of showering, of washing away all the pain and the hurt of the day, but he couldn't bring himself to undress and shower. 

 

He simply discarded his shoes, socks, joggers and beanie and placed his phone on charge on the bedside table. The bottle of small white pills Dr Peats had given him felt heavy in his hand as he pulled them from his hoodie pocket, but he needed to sleep without waking up every hour or lying awake until his body just couldn't stay awake any longer. 

 

Louis walked around to Harry's side of the bed then, pulling a bottle of water from the mini fridge Harry had insisted they get after he’d complained about having to make a nudie run to the kitchen if he needed a drink of water after they'd had sex or through the night in general. The thought made Louis smile, and he popped the lid of the white bottle tapping out one small pill onto his palm. 

 

He looked at it for a few moments, as if studying it like it held the answers to all of his problems, before swallowing it back with a sip of water. Louis had expected to feel instantly drowsy, but was surprised when he felt no different. He shrugged his shoulders as if to say ‘whatever’, placing the pill bottle and water down on Harry's bedside table, before climbing into bed and snuggling up on Harry's side, wrapped in the warmth of his hoodie.

 

He rolled onto his side trying to get comfortable, the smell of vanilla and Harry filling his nostrils, when his eyes landed on the picture of the both of them taken at The Eureka Skydeck. The moment had been so perfect, both of them lost in the other. Louis wasn't sure if he felt like smiling or crying as he looked at it, so he decided on both. 

 

Louis reached across the small space and took the picture in his hand, he studied it for an unknown amount of time until he had committed every inch of it to memory. He traced over Harry's strong jawline with the tip of his finger and then brought the picture to his lips, gently kissing Harry's face. 

 

“I love you, Harry Styles. Always,” he whispered into the darkness as his eyes began to feel heavy. He cuddled the picture close to his chest then, letting his eyes shut and with a deep breath, he let sleep overtake him. 

  
  
  


…..

  
  
  


“Simon. What the  _ fuck  _ is  _ she  _ doing here?” Harry growled, frantically eyeing the pair moving quickly towards their table. 

 

“Harry, I’d appreciate it if you kept your voice down. We're in public. And to answer your less than eloquently put question, she is here because  _ I  _ invited her.” Simon grinned at him from across the expanse of table, a victorious glint in his eye. Harry had some rather strong views on the matter, and he was going to voice them before this supposed ‘meeting’ was over. Simon wasn't going to like what he had to say and neither were their lunch guests for that matter. His days of being Simon's door mat were over. 

 

“May I ask why?” Harry decided to say, keeping his cards close to his chest for the time being and acting as though he hadn't  the slightest idea what Simon's intentions were. Did he honestly believe Harry was that naive? He hadn't come down with the last shower of rain. He'd been in the industry long enough to know what Simon was up to. But he played along anyway, indulging Simon in his pathetic game, for the time being at least.

 

“All will be revealed shortly. First, let's just enjoy a lovely meal together, shall we?” 

 

“I’d really rather not, if I’m being perfectly honest. A concept I'm sure you're unfamiliar with,” Harry drawled, smiling sweetly at Simon then, the smug look falling from his face to be replaced with one of annoyance. He looked as though he may snap back at Harry's comment, but Harry was saved from a verbal lashing by the arrival of Jeff and his companion. They, however, were no better than Simon was, so ‘saved’ may have been a slight exaggeration. 

 

Harry took a deep breath, and tried to school his features into what he hoped was a neutral expression. He could hear people talking, no doubt Simon and Jeff, but he wasn't paying the slightest bit of attention to them. He was aware it was a dangerous pastime, considering they could sink him like a battleship, should they feel the urge to do so. It would be so easy for them, like clicking their fingers or flicking a switch, and Harry was already skating on thin ice. His life, career, and reputation would be over quicker than he could say his own name. However, he just couldn't bear to listen to their fake pleasantries and incessant drivel. 

 

“Hello, Harry. Long time no see,” a voice from beside him said, bringing him back to the present. He could hear the smile in their tone and looked up, coming face to face with blue eyes and full lips. They weren't the shade of blue that made his knees weak, and his hands shake. They weren't the lips that fit perfectly against his own, that spoke sweet nothings to him under the covers and could take him apart piece by piece. No. Not those eyes or those lips. They were nothing but a cheap imitation.

 

“Oh. Hello, Camille. I didn't know you'd be joining us,” Harry said, trying and failing to keep the exasperation from his tone.

 

“Oh-- um-- well, Simon called on Saturday-- and well-- he said you would be in town,” she stuttered out, her gaze darting between Simon and Jeff then back to Harry as if she wasn’t prepared for Harry to question why she was there. “I thought it would be nice to catch up.” Camille was looking down into her lap now, avoiding Harry's gaze. Jeff, meanwhile, pretended to take an avid interest in the menu, avoiding the conversation entirely, and Simon simply continued to sit and lord over the rest of them. Something wasn't right. Harry could feel it in his bones.

 

“That was kind of him, wasn't it? To invite you to a business meeting that I was forced to come to kicking and screaming. You know, a meeting about  _ my  _ career and  _ my  _ personal life. But you know how the saying goes, Camille, the more the merrier.” Camille simply gaped at him as he spoke, her mouth opening and closing like a goldfish. He hadn’t intended to be rude, hoping to keep his emotions in check and simply say what he had come to say and leave. He always made it his business to rise above it all and remain kind no matter how upset or angry he got, but Simon and Jeff’s interference in his life was beyond a joke now. 

 

“There's no need to be rude to Cam, Harry,” Jeff snapped, giving him a stern look as though he was a child, menu now laying forgotten. Harry glared at him from his place across the table and folded his arms across his chest. “And I’m not sure where you got the impression that you were forced to be here,” Jeff continued, “that is hardly the case. It’s not as if you were bound, gagged and kidnapped.” 

 

Harry snorted at Jeff’s choice of words, a string of retorts voiced by a distinct and intimately familiar Doncaster accent filling his head, but he chose to remain silent. He really wished Louis was there with him. He felt outnumbered, and he knew that Louis would have known what to do or what to say to stop Simon and Jeff in their tracks, once and for all. Louis simply being there at all would have been enough. 

 

“It is very unlike him to be impolite, isn't it? We only asked him to come out to LA for a catch up meeting, to touch base and see how he is travelling,” Simon added, speaking of Harry as though he wasn't even in the same room as him. 

 

“I'm trying not to be rude, but I'm about at the end of my tether with you two,” Harry said, using two long fingers to point at the pair, moving them backwards and forwards between Jeff and Simon to emphasise his point. Camille continued to sit in stunned silence, probably a wise choice on her part. 

 

“Has being famous finally caught up with you, young Harry? Have you finally decided to give up the ‘boy next door’, humble and kind to a fault facade? You seem like you've changed since the last time we met,” Simon mused, knowing fine well that, in reality, his short speech was utter bullshit, and it was riling Harry up. 

 

“You, for once in your life, are spot on, Simon,” Harry said sweetly, watching as Simon fell into a false sense of security.

 

“I'm glad you've finally come to your senses, Harry. I was beginning to worry you didn't have the back bone to survive in  _ my _ world.” Harry snorted again, but quickly hid it with a well timed coughing fit, taking a sip from the glass of water that was already poured, sitting on the table in front of him. 

 

“I do apologise, Simon,” Harry said, his tone filled with sarcasm. “Please, do continue. I'm very intrigued to hear about what you think of my skeleton.” Harry placed his elbows on the edge of the table and cradled his chin in his hands, watching as Simon’s face and neck began to turn a violent shade of red.

 

Jeff and Camille were now looking at Harry with wide eyes, looking as though they couldn’t believe what they were hearing. Harry had never dared talk to either Simon or Jeff that way, but he suddenly had a feeling of overwhelming strength and the urge to defend his career and not be used and abused by them any longer. He’d finally reached the limit on how much of their bullshit he could take and he had to put an end to it now. He didn't care that he was outnumbered three to one, or that Simon could end his career with one phone call. He was a human being, and if nothing else, he deserved to be treated as such. 

 

“Harry, what has gotten into you?” Jeff asked, totally perplexed by Harry’s new found brazenness. A stunning man with sapphire eyes, a devastating smile and enough gumption for a small village, Harry mused, but he decided that train of thought may not be entirely appropriate lunch conversation. 

 

“Nothing in particular, not today at least. I’m just in a good mood is all.” It wasn’t a lie, he was in a good mood, or at least he had been until he’d arrived at lunch, or whatever this charade was masquerading as. “I just find it particularly fascinating that Simon knows my spine so intimately.” More stunned silence followed. If anything having spent the last few months with Louis really had changed him, spine and all, and in that moment, he was eternally grateful for Louis’ influence. Louis had shown him that big things really did come in small packages, and that anyone could have the heart of a lion. It was that knowledge that spurred Harry on and fueled his fight to come out of this meeting standing. 

 

Harry couldn’t shake the smile on his face at the thought of Louis, his mind drifting back to what he had done in his hotel room an hour or so ago. He did, however, feel a tad guilty at wanking off to nothing short of orgasm inducing pictures of Louis, that he had hidden in a special folder in his phone. But he missed him, and thoughts of Louis’ lips around his cock and the way his mouth formed a small ‘o’ as he came had been enough to have Harry relieving himself with his assistant standing outside his door. 

 

Harry’s cock picked right then to twitch in his ultra tight jeans. Shit. That was all he needed right now, so he took a few deep breaths concentrating on Simon’s unsightly double chin, willing it to go away. 

 

“Are you ok, Harry? You suddenly look very pale,” Jeff asked, and Harry wasn’t sure if he should play along or laugh in Jeff’s face. So far this had been the worst lunch of his life, and he’d not even been at the restaurant for twenty minutes. 

 

“Umm-- yeah, I’m fine. If you would excuse me for one moment...” Harry stood up from the table then, his chair scraping loudly on the floor below him, hurrying in the direction he thought the restrooms may be in before Simon, Jeff or Camille could say another word. 

 

He noticed the sign pointing in the direction of the restrooms not far from their table and walked quickly towards it. He sighed loudly, relief washing over him, when he managed to deftly avoid the over eager matradee from earlier. She intimidated Harry a little. Her smile was too big, her teeth were too white and her ponytail was too severe. She reminded him of a combination of the Energizer Bunny and Patty Simcox from _Grease_ , so he hurried between two tables and through the door of the restrooms before she could stop him and strike up a conversation.

 

Once safely behind the door leading to the restrooms, Harry stopped, leaning against the cool wall behind him. He wasn’t entirely sure why he had even rushed to the restrooms to begin with, his hard on had swiftly disappeared with one glance at Simon, but all he could think about was the overwhelming urge to speak to Louis. Every thought was consumed by him. He knew that Simon and Jeff were planning something, something big. Why else would they have invited the one woman he had been trying to avoid for years to lunch? All he needed was some reassurance that what he was doing was right from the one person in the world who mattered.

 

He needed to hear Louis’ voice. He needed him to be reassuring and tell him that standing up to Simon and Jeff was worth it. That the possibility of his career crashing down around him by the end of this absurd meeting was worth it. He needed to know that Louis was worth it, that what they had was enough, that it was all worth it, so he quickly pulled his phone from the back pocket of his jeans. He pressed down on the home button with his thumb and the dark screen lit up, illuminating the picture of the pair of them taken at The Eureka Skydeck. Harry stared at the photo until his screen began to grow dark again, a silent tear tracking its way down his cheek as the memory of that day filled his mind. His chest felt tight, his heart felt full, and he knew that in that moment, that precious, perfect moment, that would be forever frozen in time, he had never felt more loved. 

 

He pressed the home button again, quickly punching in his pin code and dialled Louis’ number. He brought the phone up to his ear, listening as the dial tone connected, and it began to ring, using his free hand to wipe his cheek, clearing his throat. Harry stood in silence, his heart feeling as though it may beat out of his chest as he waited for Louis to answer his call. His heart sank to the region of his knees when it rang out, and he was greeted by the generic answering machine message. When the tone sounded for Harry to leave a message he took a deep breath and whispered “I love you Louis Tomlinson,” into the receiver, then ended the call. He didn't have time to dwell on the fact that Louis hadn’t answered him, or the long list of reasons why. He had already been in the restroom for far longer than was socially acceptable, so with a heavy heart and a sigh he put his phone back in his pocket and headed back to the table. 

 

As he sat back down Simon fixed him with a knowing stare and he could feel his confidence slowly slipping away. He knew that Simon could sense the change in him and he felt as though all of the fight had been knocked out of him. 

 

“Is everything ok?” Simon asked, a sickening smile forming on his face as he spoke.

 

“Everything is great,” Harry lied. Everything is fucking great.

  
  
  


……

  
  


When Louis finally woke up he wasn't sure what time it was, what day it was or even what time zone he was in, but what he did know was that he felt more like himself than he had in ages. He felt like he had slept for years, and if he was being completely honest, it was the most well rested he had felt since before the incident at the karaoke bar. 

 

The last four days had felt as though they had stretched on for months, and now that he’d had a proper night's sleep he felt more equipped to deal with his current situation. He rolled over onto his side and heard a loud thud as something hit the carpeted floor. He turned back over and looked down, only to realise the framed picture of Harry and himself from The Eureka Skydeck was staring back at him. 

 

He was confused for a moment, trying to work out how it had ended up on the floor. Was it a rogue gust of wind perhaps? No. All the French doors were closed. Was it a sign from God? He thought not. He was much more inclined to believe in cold hard facts rather than God. Was there a ghost in his house he didn't know about? Probably not. This was real life, not a catchy Northern Soul banger. Then he remembered. He'd picked it up off the bedside table last night as he fell asleep, cuddling it tightly as he drifted off. See, a perfectly logical explanation. 

 

He reached down, momentarily becoming tangled in the blankets and his hoodie, before he carefully picked up the picture, dusted it off and placed it lovingly back on the bedside table. He could still remember exactly how he felt at the exact moment the picture was taken. How Harry's love, strength and reassurance had wrapped around him like a safety net. How even though he was 285m up in the air in a glass box, suspended over the streets of Melbourne, he didn't feel afraid, and he knew Harry would never let him fall.

 

He realised then that he was staring at the picture again, a no doubt idiotic grin on his face, but he didn't care. He felt rested. He felt good, and he felt ready to finally speak to Harry and bury the hatchet driving a wedge between them. He sat up in bed, reaching for his phone. He needed to call Harry. He needed to hear his voice. Needed to tell him that he was sorry, for what felt like the 587th time, tell him that he loved him, that he was here for him and he supported him. It’s what he should have done from the start, but better late than never. He just hoped it wasn't too late. 

 

When he finally had his phone in his hand, it vibrated and he quickly pressed on the home button, illuminating the dark screen. He was greeted by his favourite sleepy eyed, tousled haired picture of Harry and two notifications. One was a missed call from Harry. Shit. The other, a voicemail message. Double shit. 

 

He checked the time of the call and noted that Harry had called at 5:30am. He looked at the time on his phone, the numbers displaying the time as 7:30am and without a moment's hesitation he hit the call button and brought the phone up to his ear the dial tone ringing out loudly in his ear. Harry was probably no doubt in middle of his meeting, Louis had that kind of luck. But he didn't care and he hoped that Harry wouldn't either. 

 

…..

 

Harry had noticed a large, cast iron clock over to his left on his trip back from the restroom, and he had been watching it like a hawk ever since. So far, he'd suffered through almost two and a half hours of Simon, Jeff and Camille acting as though they were best buddies, when in reality they couldn't stand each other. All he wanted was to hear Louis’ voice, but he hadn't answered his call and his heart hurt. 

 

Simon was currently waxing lyrical about how he’d ‘discovered’ Harry, but Harry had tuned out about five minutes in and was simply smiling, nodding and agreeing at what he hoped were the appropriate moments. He felt like his soul was being gradually sucked out of him, like he was losing himself piece by tiny piece as the minutes ticked by, and they hadn't even gotten to the nitty gritty, yet.

 

Would he have enough fight left in him to say what he wanted to say, what he needed to say? Would he be brave enough to walk away from whatever sick plan Simon had concocted? Or would he simply end up following along blindly with whatever Simon proposed? He hoped he was brave enough. He hoped that he had enough of the backbone everyone had been talking about earlier to put up a fight if needed. Right now though, he wasn't so sure he did. 

 

“Harry, are you still with us?” Camille said, a bright smile on her face, excitement in her eyes. 

 

“Oh-- um yeah. Sorry. Was off in my own little world. What were you saying?” Harry didn't care if he sounded less than interested or even rude. He just needed this bullshit to end. 

 

“Oh, Simon was just telling us about the time you dated Caroline Flack, you sly fox. Already able to attract real women, and you were so young! I bet you showed her a good time.” Camille nudged him with her elbow then and gave him a salacious wink. Harry felt like he was going to vomit, the kale and artichoke salad Simon had so graciously ordered for him while he’d been in the restroom, churning in his stomach. 

 

“Yeah. I guess I must have.” 

 

Harry had done no such thing. He had only been 17 years old when he’d ‘dated’ Caroline Flack. It had been his first taste of being forced to have a girlfriend, and of really having a girlfriend at all. His first taste of being forced to be seen as ‘the ladies man’ and a ‘womanizer’ by the public. Men had praised him, and women had hated her. All it had done was cause a scandal and generate well needed publicity for Caroline. 

 

It had backfired on Harry though, his fans far from pleased about the arrangement, and so in the spirit of trying to please his ever growing fanbase, Simon had set him up with yet another ‘beard’, as he’d referred to them. That had only made matters worse though, so Harry had been forced to be connected to an ever growing list of women in the hopes one would hit the wall and stick. Harry’s fans, God bless them, had always known the real him. Had always known that his string of celebrity girlfriends were nothing more than an orchestrated cover up, and he’d been reduced to tears on more than one occasion by their overwhelming show of support for him, and their ability to see who he really was.

 

Harry could tell that Camille was about to be his latest beard, even though he’d managed to avoid being linked to anyone for the last few years. More specifically her. He hoped and prayed he was wrong. He prayed that he was simply overreacting, and Simon had only invited her knowing it would put him on edge. He knew that was wishful thinking. This lunch meeting had been a train wreck from the start, and at this point, no one was able to look away. 

 

“That brings us to the main focus of this lunch meeting,” Simon said, a shit eating grin on his face, a sadistic glint in his eyes. Harry swallowed hard. This was it. The moment of truth. 

 

“And what would the main focus be exactly?” Harry asked. He had tried to keep his tone even, but he knew he had failed by the way Simon’s lip twitched, and a smirk replaced his earlier grin. This couldn’t be good. 

 

“Well, as you may have already guessed Harry, it has come to my attention that you were involved in a bar brawl in Melbourne on Friday night. Is this correct?”

 

“I wasn’t involved directly, no. I was not party to the fight, nor was I injured or harmed in any way. Not physically at least. Does that answer your question?” He hoped that was enough to satisfy Simon, but who was he kidding? He was talking to Simon Cowell, Satan himself, of course it wasn’t enough.

 

“Do not play coy with me, Harry,” Simon spat. “You would do well to remember who it is you are speaking to and the power I wield.” Simon was openly glaring at him now, and Harry suddenly had goosebumps covering his body from head to toe. However, he couldn’t shy away. He had to stand his ground. He just had to. 

 

“I am not playing at anything, Simon. Unlike you, I don’t take any pleasure in playing games with people’s lives. I would also appreciate it if you would refrain from threatening me. I don’t give a damn if you are Santa Claus or the sodding Easter Bunny, you  _ will not  _ threaten me.” 

 

Harry’s palms had begun to sweat, and he could feel the heat rising in his cheeks. He had his hands clenched into fists under the table, attempting to stop them from shaking, and his heart was beating faster than was probably safe. He couldn’t do this. Who did he think he was standing up to Simon Cowell? What business did he have speaking to him like he just had? He’d be lucky if Simon didn’t have him exiled to Timbuktu if wasn’t careful. 

“I  _ can _ and I  _ will _ , threaten you if I feel it is necessary,” Simon began, leaning forward in his chair so that he was as close to Harry as was humanly possible. Harry had never been so thankful for a table in his life, the solid expanse of wood the only thing stopping Simon from spitting the words in his face. “I  _ own  _ you, your voice, your songs, your lyrics, and your image. There is nothing that you possess that I do not own. Everything you are, have been and will be is  _ mine _ . You would do well to remember that.” 

 

Simon was right. He owned everything that Harry was. He’d molded him into the cookie cutter version of himself that he’d wanted. The ladies man, the womanizer, the walking talking sex symbol that had hoards of teenage girls weak at the knees. The mega star that was always pictured with a pretty blonde bimbo on his arm. The pop sensation who was always kind and selfless and made interviewers stutter. That was what Simon had turned him into. That was what he had become, and he had allowed Simon to make him that way. Every aspect of himself, was exactly what Simon made him to be. Harry wasn’t even sure who he was anymore or if he even knew how to think for himself.  

 

He had never stood up to him before. Had never gone against anything Simon and Jeff had ever made him do. So why should this be any different? It would be so much easier to just play along. To simply nod, smile and agree with whatever Simon wanted him to do and walk away from this day with his life and career intact. His life wouldn’t remain intact though, would it? He may be able to save his career and his reputation at most, but his whole world would end. He’d lose the most important thing in his life, and there would be no way to rectify what he’d done. There would be no words or actions big enough to justify the absurd proposal Simon was gearing up to make, but what other choice did he have? He couldn’t do this, but he couldn’t risk losing Louis forever either. He was so confused, and his heart felt as though it may break at the thought of having to choose between his two greatest loves. 

 

“Of course. You are right. Of course, you are right. I’m-- I’m so sorry I have no idea what has gotten into me today,” Harry stuttered out, his words nothing more than a hoarse whisper. He came to the realization that he couldn’t do this. He wasn't courageous enough. He didn’t have a backbone. He didn’t know who he was anymore, but he knew he wasn’t brave. He hated himself and the person Simon had made him to be.  

 

“Don’t be too hard on yourself, Harry,” Jeff cooed, adopting his earlier tone, speaking to him as though he was nothing but a child. “You have been travelling since who knows what time yesterday and from all accounts you’ve had a very stressful few days. But we have come up with a solution to your-- um-- problem.” 

 

What problem? There was another one? One that wasn’t how he was going to keep his career, reputation and love life intact. What other ‘problem’ could there possibly be now? Harry’s head was spinning, and he was having trouble breathing. Of course, his asthma would pick now to flare up. Perfect. Just fucking wonderful. 

 

“What problem?”

 

“Your crazed stalker or whatever he is,” Camille added, “That’s why I’m here.”

Were these people serious? Louis was a  _ problem _ to them? Harry wasn’t sure how much more of this he could take. How much more of his life did Simon have to control before there was nothing left for Harry to give? Wasn’t what he already had enough? Couldn’t he let Harry have this one thing for himself? Apparently the answer was a resounding no. No, he couldn’t. It appeared even his heart didn’t belong to him anymore. Harry could feel hot tears stinging the backs of his eyes at the thought of how he was going to explain all of this to Louis. Of how he was going to tell him that he couldn’t be with the love of his life because Simon had decided that wasn’t the image he wanted him to have. That loving a man was wrong. He couldn’t. It would end him. He would be the death of Louis, and he wasn’t prepared for that thought to become a reality. But he was sinking and fast, and he didn’t have the slightest clue how he was supposed to dig himself out of the grave he was already buried in. 

 

“Yes, that riff raff, what’s his name again? Lewis something...” Simon mused, barely concealing a grin, while Harry was barely containing his tears. 

 

“You mean Louis. His name is Louis.” Harry didn’t know why he felt the need to correct Simon, it’s not as if Simon actually gave a shit what Louis’ name was. But it was important to Harry, and so he attempted to clear his throat and will the tears back, will them not to fall. If they fell then Simon would have all but won. 

 

“That’s it, Louis. We’ve had so many reports it’s been hard to keep track. He does look quite the unsavoury character, wouldn’t you agree, Jeff?” 

 

“Most definitely. What with all of those unsightly tattoos and what is that accent? I could barely understand a word he was saying in the news clips.” 

 

“Tell me, Harry, what exactly is the nature of your relationship with this man? Is he a crazed stalker? An obsessed fan? Which is it?”

 

Simon and Jeff were deliberately hitting him where they knew it hurt. They were tearing apart every aspect of Louis that made him who he was. Degrading all of the things Harry loved about him so much. His heart was breaking, his world crumbling around him. Slowly drifting away like sand on the breeze, and he felt powerless to stop it. Powerless to stop them from destroying everything he held dear to him. Harry had lost all hope, he was going to agree to every despicable thing Simon had planned for him. He knew it. He had to. He didn’t have a choice. Right as he was opening his mouth and say the terrible lie on the tip of his tongue, his phone began to ring. He’d already lost at this point. It didn’t matter what he said or did his relationship with Louis was over, so he pulled it from his pocket, completely unphased by the dirty looks that Simon, Jeff and Camille were giving him and…..

 

_ Louis _ . 

 

Harry leapt up from the table for the second time that day and began to move quickly away from the group of people who were sat stunned by his abrupt departure. He hadn’t gotten far when the sound of Simon’s voice pierced through the thick layer of fog that had clouded his mind.

 

“Where are you going?”

  
“I’m going to talk to Louis. My  _ boyfriend _ . The love of my life and all of my lifetimes. Don’t stop your disgusting and down right heinous conversation on my account, do carry on without me.” With that Harry turned on his heel and ran to the restroom, answering the call as soon as he was out of earshot of the others. 


	21. FaceTime, Unconventional Intimacy and Gucci Toothbrushes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry finally gets to speak to Louis, sharing a moment of unconventional intimacy before Louis formulates a plan. Purple cat socks, Gucci toothbrushes and all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you all proud of me? Its only been 8 days! Yay! 
> 
> This is the pivotal plot chapter and I'm so nervous to share this one with you all. I hope it lives up to expectation and doesn't fall short.
> 
> As always a massive thank you goes to Lena (@Wicked_Archer on tw) for her constant support of me and this fic. I honestly think I would have abandoned this fic if it wasn't for you, so much love to you xx 
> 
> I hope that you all enjoy this chapter.  
> Kudos and comments are always welcome and appreciated.
> 
> Come say Hi to me on twitter @TheirGoldenFool
> 
>  
> 
> All the love 
> 
>  
> 
> Z x

“Louis…” Harry breathed out as the door to the disabled toilet swung closed behind him and he felt like he could finally breathe for the first time in hours. He locked it quickly behind him even though he knew he shouldn’t be in there conducting his love life. However, he needed privacy and the disabled toilet seemed as good a place as any. He just hoped that no one would need to use it before his conversation with Louis was over.

****

“Oh thank God! You answered,” Louis rushed out in response and Harry could hear the genuine relief in his voice. 

****

“Of course I answered, Lou, why wouldn’t I?”

****

“Oh I don’t know, babe. Maybe because i've been a total twat for the last four days?” Louis began and Harry struggled to suppress a watery chuckle because he knew Louis well enough to know he was gearing up for a sarcasm fueled rant, and he’d never welcomed it more in his life.

****

“Or maybe it’s because I called you selfish when I was the one being selfish?” Louis continued, “Or maybe it's because i've ignored you for the last two days? Or  _ maybe, _ it's because I couldn't even take thirty bloody seconds to send you a text message to thank you for the beautiful Peonies, Dea brought me. And don't even get me started on that note Harold.” 

****

Harry couldn’t help the dimple filled grin that spread across his face at Louis’ words. He could hear the old Louis slowly creeping back. The old Louis, who had a quick wit and enough sarcasm to sink the Titanic. The real Louis. The Louis who had stolen his heart from the very beginning. He could hear it in his voice and he was so glad that Louis was returning to his old self again. His confident, sarcastic, not a care in the world, self. Even if he wasn’t aware of it just yet. 

****

“It-- It’s ok, love. You don’t have to apol-” Harry started to say, but he was cut short by Louis, not able to get the rest of the sentence out. He wasn't sure whether he wanted to laugh or cry. He wished so much that he could hug Louis and kiss him. To feel his skin beneath his fingertips, to feel his breath on his neck as he spoke to him and to breathe in the scent of him. He grounded him more than any other force on the planet, like a rope to an anchor and it was the one thing he needed more than anything in that moment. He needed to get out of here. He needed to go, his heart needed to go home.

****

“Don’t. Don’t even finish that sentence,” Louis cut in. “If anyone needs to apologise it’s bloody well me, Haz. No one deserves to be treated the way i’ve treated you these last few days. No one. There is no excuse for it. None at all. Other than I was being a moody prick and acting like a two year old. And i’m sorry. I know that doesn't even being to make up for it, but I am. I’m really fucking sorry.”

****

“I’m not without blame either Louis,” Harry rushed to say. “You may have been acting like an idiot but I was no better. I was the one who decided to sleep in the studio last night, not you. I don't know what I was thinking. I regretted it as soon as I was down there, but I just didn't know what to do or how to fix this. How to fix  _ us _ .”

****

“I know my love, I know. I haven’t made it easy for you. I was upset and my head was a bit of a mess and I took it out on you. I don’t blame you for going to the studio last night. I was barely even looking at you or speaking to you. If the shoe had been on the other foot I would probably have done the same. Please don’t blame yourself, baby. Please? I love you. More than anything. You are my everything, my reason for living. I really hope you know that.”

****

Harry didn't know why, but as Louis came to the end of his short speech he broke down, his knees giving way and he slid down the back of the toilet door until he was laying in a crumpled heap on the floor. He brought his knees up to his chest and wrapped his free arm around them, sobbing into the crook of his arm uncontrollably, barely able to drag air into his lungs. He wished he had thought to bring his inhaler with him. Why he’d thought he would be able to survive this idiotic meeting without it was beyond him, but there wasn't much he could do about that now. It hurt more knowing that one touch, one kiss, even one look from Louis would be enough to calm him, but Louis wasn't with him and he could feel the panic rising within him. 

****

“ _ Lou _ …” The word came out of Harry’s mouth as a strangled whine and he could hear Louis’ sharp intake of breath on the other end of the line. He couldn't help it. He couldn't keep his emotions in check and calm himself enough to speak to Louis properly. He was so confused and he didn't know how to climb out of the hole that Simon and Jeff were rapidly digging for him. He was scared and alone and the bottom line was he wanted Louis to tell him that he was strong enough and he would be alright. That they would both be alright. 

****

“Baby. Sweetheart, please don’t cry,” Harry vaguely heard Louis saying over the sound of his sobbing. “I’m going to hang up, ok? I’ll ca-”

****

“N--no, p-- please, Lou. Please d-- don’t l-- leave me,” Harry choked out, cutting Louis off this time and he felt like an idiot but, he needed Louis now more than ever. 

****

“I’ll call you right back, my love. I promise you. I’ll call you right back.”

****

Harry nodded his head even though he knew Louis couldn’t see him and he heard it when the call ended, letting his arm go limp and his phone clattered unceremoniously to the toilet floor. He knew that probably wasn’t the best place for it to be, seeing as he’d have to put it back up to his ear soon, but he didn't have the energy to care. All he could focus on was trying to stop his tears, calming his breathing and praying that Louis really would call him back before Simon, Jeff or, God forbid, Camille decided to come and look for him. 

****

……

****

Louis tried to hold back his tears, but they continued to fall despite his best efforts to keep them at bay. When he’d decided to call Harry back, he’d expected the conversation to go one of three ways. One. Harry wouldn’t answer at all, which is what he had expected to happen. Two. Harry would answer, but it would end in a heated argument, and they would be back to square one. And three. Harry would answer, be happy to hear from him and act as though nothing had happened. What Louis hadn’t been prepared for, however, was for Harry to break down on the other end of the line, and he felt utterly helpless. 

****

He would usually have held Harry in his arms and comforted him until he’d calmed down, then tried to help him work through whatever it was that was bothering him. In their current situation though, that wasn't a possibility and it was hurting Louis to have to hear Harry sobbing down the phone to him. But he had a plan. He just hoped it was as good as him physically being there. Now, all he needed was for Harry to answer his call. Again. He didn’t have the best luck, and Harry had already beaten the odds by answering him the first time, therefore he hoped and prayed that Harry would put on a repeat performance for him.

****

Louis took a deep breath, wiping the tears from his face with his sleeve, sitting up a bit in bed and pressed the FaceTime button on his phone. His sleepy, tear stained face filled the screen as it rang, and he held his breath, counting down the seconds until Harry either answered his call or it rang out. He was about to give up at the five second mark, knowing the call didn't have much longer to go before it cut out, when it was answered, and Harry’s face replaced his own on the screen. 

****

Louis let out a breath he hadn’t even realised he was holding when he took in Harry’s appearance. His curls were a wild tangle of chocolate brown atop his head, Louis knowing they’d ended up that way from running his fingers through them too many times in agitation. His face was flushed a stunning shade of red, his cheeks tear stained, his eyes bloodshot and watery as the tears continued to fall, only making their unique green shade even more intense.

****

He was, of course, incredibly beautiful as always. Louis couldn't help but notice the dark circles that had formed under Harry’s eyes, and the way he looked bone achingly exhausted. Louis was slightly turned on, even though he knew Harry was incredibly upset, and he was about to have a no doubt very serious conversation. He felt like a fucking asshole for thinking these things while Harry was clearly in crisis, but he was still a man. A man with needs. Louis shook his head then, trying to clear his mind, trying to rid himself of his wayward thoughts. He took a deep breath, and he spoke. 

****

“Please don’t cry, my love,” he cooed and he knew the exact moment that Harry registered he was staring at him through the phone screen, obviously unaware that Louis had FaceTimed him. 

****

“It’s you,” Harry choked out, swallowing hard, no doubt trying to control his emotions. His voice sounded strained and rough to Louis’ ears, and it was breaking Louis’ heart to see him like that. He was determined to get Harry to talk to him and get to the bottom of what had made Harry so upset, no matter how long it took. He had time. He always had time for Harry. 

****

“It’s me, baby. I’m here. Please, don’t cry,” Louis said, trying to keep his voice as even and non patronizing as possible. He didn't want Harry to feel stupid for being so upset. “Take a few deep breaths for me and tell me what is going on. I don’t like seeing you this upset.” It was the truth. Louis hated to see Harry anything other than his dimpled, smiling, happy self. 

****

He watched as Harry stared at him through the screen, and he led him through some deep breaths, watching the way Harry's exposed chest rose and fell as he forced air into his lungs. After a minute or so, Harry seemed much calmer. His breathing was almost back to normal, only the occasional sob racking his body, and he watched as Harry tried to wipe away his tears and clean himself up a bit. 

****

“I'm sorry, you didn't need to hear that or see that,” Harry finally said, and Louis felt like his heart may break at Harry's words. 

****

“Please, don’t apologize, my love. Something has clearly upset you. Are you ok? Please tell me what is going on.” Harry shook his head, his curls bouncing with the movement, and it was then Louis noticed that Harry appeared to be sitting on the floor of a dimly lit room. 

****

“Where are you, Haz? Are you, safe?” 

****

“I'm safe, Lou. I promise. I'm hiding in the disabled toilet of some overpriced restaurant. I had to hear your voice, speak to you. Speak to someone who  _ understands.  _ I can’t-- I can't do this, Lou. I can’t, but I don't know what to do. I can't fight them all.” Harry was rambling and Louis was convinced it was the quickest he'd ever heard Harry speak.

****

He didn't have a clue what Harry was talking about until it hit him. The meeting. The goddamned meeting with Simon. The whole reason they were apart in the first place, and the thought had Louis seeing red. 

****

“Harry, you have to slow down, love. Are you at your meeting? What the fuck has that bastard done?” Louis was furious. He knew fine well that Simon was the reason for Harry's tears, and if Harry was this upset, it couldn't mean anything good. He tried to keep the anger from his voice, not wanting Harry to think it was him Louis was angry at, but he just couldn't help it. Simon was to him, what a red flag is to a bull and with good reason. 

****

Harry's head was hanging limply between his shoulders now, his posture turned in, and Louis didn't think he'd ever seen Harry look so defeated. He should have gone with him to LA. Fought harder to be what Harry needed, but Harry had argued against the idea, stating that it would only make matters worse. Louis couldn't see how him being there with Harry would have been any worse than this. After a few moments, Harry had made no attempt to answer Louis’ questions or move from his current position on the floor, so Louis took a few deep breaths, trying to stamp down his anger and tried again.

****

“Baby, please look at me. I need to see you.” That seemed to be enough to get Harry's attention, and he slowly lifted his head, his gaze locking with Louis’. “There you are, my beautiful boy,” Louis whispered, and he seen it when a shy blush crept up Harry's already red cheeks. Louis swore he could see a hint of a smile on Harry's lips, and his suspicion was confirmed when his smile grew bigger and dimples appeared on his cheeks. 

****

Louis raised a hand up to the screen then without thinking, tentatively tracing over Harry's lips and dimples with his fingertips, and as if on cue, Harry turned his head, titling it to the side as if nuzzling into Louis’ touch. It was the most intimate moment they'd shared for what felt like an eternity, and it was all the reassurance Louis needed to know that they would make it through this, together.

****

They sat like that, Harry on the dirty bathroom floor, and Louis curled up in bed, for how long neither of them knew nor cared, trying to convey to each other without words and with soft touches neither of them could feel, just how much they loved each other. Louis didn't know if Harry could tell for sure how he traced over every line on his face, every dimple and every eyelash. But it seemed as though he could when his eyes fluttered shut as Louis tried to count and memorize every one of Harry's incredibly long eyelashes. Or when his dimples deepened as Louis worked over them with his fingertip or how the crease lines in his forehead had furrowed. 

****

“I miss you so much, I can't stand it,” Harry breathed out, his voice gravelly from crying.

****

“Ditto,” Louis replied, and their shy smiles and gentle caresses had continued for another few minutes. Louis didn't want to break the moment. However, this perfect, special, if slightly unconventional, moment between them had to end because he had to know what Simon was up to. He had to know that his boy was ok. “My love, please tell me what the hell is going on. Please?” 

****

Harry sighed, long and low, and he fixed his eyes on Louis, his gaze intense. “So, I'm at this poor excuse of a lunch meeting yeah? And you'll never guess who walks in two minutes after I've sat down at the table…” 

****

Louis sat, and he listened as Harry explained everything that had happened since he'd arrived at the restaurant for his lunch meeting. He didn't butt in or react to anything Harry said. He simply sat and nodded along, encouraging Harry to keep talking to him for as long as he needed to.

****

Louis had gripped the covers draped over his legs, his knuckles turning white with it when Harry had explained who Caroline Flack was. That the nature of their relationship had been a fabricated lie, a media stunt and that every other relationship with a woman Harry had ever had, had been the same. A lie. A farce. 

****

By the time Harry had reached the point in his story when Simon, Jeff and Camille had personally attacked him, attacked Louis, and tried to convince Harry to take Camille on as another arm warmer, both Louis and Harry were in tears. Louis didn't have it in him to be angry. He couldn't. Not with Harry. All he could think of was how Harry had to endure all of that alone and the guilt at not having answered when he'd called earlier.

****

“And well, here we are,” Harry finished. As Harry wiped his eyes again, offering Louis a weak and defeated looking smile, Louis’ anger started to slowly reappear. 

****

No. This was not happening. Harry was not going to be forced to live a lie, to be forced into a bullshit scheme by Simon and Jeff, so that he could continue to be their cash cow. Louis wouldn't allow it. 

****

“Can I ask you a few questions, Haz?” Louis asked. He needed more information before he could formulate a plan of attack and help Harry out of this shitstorm.

****

“Of course you can.” 

****

“Ok. So. Hypothetically speaking, what would happen if you told Satan and Jeff to stick their contract up their arses?” Harry let out a loud honk of laughter that echoed around the empty toilet at Louis’ words. He didn't try to cover his mouth or shy away from it like he used to when he and Louis had first met, and Louis was glad. It was one of his favourite sounds.

****

“Umm,” Harry said through a laugh, trying to compose himself. “At the moment, I have filled my album obligations, so like, I don't owe them any more albums or anything like that. I was only contracted for three.” Louis nodded along as Harry spoke. This was good news so far.

****

“And the last tour did amazing, so all of the pre fronted money for that has been covered. All that I'd probably end up losing would be actually being signed with a label, my first album advance and however many million Simon is going to swindle out of me to buy back the rights to all of my music.” 

****

“What!? You don't own any of your music?” Louis exclaimed. Harry couldn't be serious. He just couldn't. 

****

“Nope, not a single song. They all belong to Syco.” Harry shrugged his shoulders, as if resigned to the fact that he was about to lose everything he'd ever worked for. 

****

“But you can buy them back though, right?”

****

“For a price. One that would cripple me financially, and I'd be reduced to selling everything I owned down to my bloody purple cat socks.” 

****

And that was when Louis knew exactly what he had to do. Exactly what he had to say. And exactly how they were going to fix this, purple cat socks and all. 

****

…..

****

“Would that really be so bad? Would it?” Louis was saying, “I happen to like those purple cat socks though, we might keep a hold of those,” and Harry couldn't help but laugh. 

****

“What do you mean?” he asked then, not entirely sure he knew where Louis was going with this. 

****

“I mean would it really be so bad to sell everything? Why on Earth do you need a Gucci toothbrush and a Louis Vuitton, I dunno, housecoat, or whatever it is you rich snobs spend all your money on? You use my toothbrush and steal my clothes half the time anyway. And let me tell you, young Harold, none of them are Gucci or Louis Vuitton. I'm the only Louis in my house.”  

****

Harry continued to laugh at him, unable to do much else. Louis was so serious, not a hint of humor or sarcasm in his tone at all, and, yet, Harry was almost rolling around on the floor laughing at him. It felt good to laugh with Louis. It felt like it had been so long since the last time he'd heard him laugh, but what he was saying was kind of making sense. Did he really need all of those material things? No. Probably not. Not that Harry actually owned a Gucci toothbrush or Louis Vuitton housecoat. 

****

“Says the person wearing my Packers hoodie,” Harry replied, raising a questioning eyebrow at Louis, both dimples appearing now that he had a genuine smile on his face.

****

“Semantics,” Louis responded waving his hand at the camera in a dismissive gesture, aiming for nonchalant but landing somewhere around half a smirk. 

****

“But what has that got to do with getting out of the grave I'm being buried alive in?”

****

“No one will be burying anyone alive today, Haz. Not on my watch. Well, unless you want me to bury Simon and his ugly grandpa jeans. That I can arrange.” Harry gasped in shock but Louis continued to plough on undeterred. “I won't let those money hungry assholes destroy your life anymore than they already have. If we have to sell every last teaspoon and decorative cat we own, Harry, then so be it. I don’t care where we live, how much money you make or any of that shit. All I care about is you and your happiness. End of story.” Louis had a gleam in his eye that Harry had come to recognize easily. It appeared when he was excited or determined or had a point to prove, and it had flashed across his sapphire eyes as he spoke. Harry couldn't help but feel slightly turned on by Louis’ possessiveness and need to keep him safe. 

****

“You're kinda hot when you're all riled up, you know,” Harry mumbled, trying his best to give Louis a mischievous wink. He'd always been terrible at it, but it never failed to make Louis’ breath hitch, or his eyes glaze over as they were doing now. 

****

“Yeah? You think so, Styles?”

****

“I don't think so, I know so.” Harry watched as the tip of Louis’ tongue darted out between his lips, licking across them at his words. They glistened in the light of the bedroom and Harry wanted nothing more than to dive through the phone and devour them with his own. 

****

“Stop changing the subject, Harold. We are not sixteen, can we focus for a moment? A little decorum please.” Again Harry laughed. He never knew what to think or what to say when Louis was like this, so he would always just laugh and let Louis take charge. Right now, it was a blessing, and he'd damn near sell his liver on the black market if it meant not having to have another Syco Beard. 

****

“You still didn't answer my question, Lou, how does all of this get me out of having to have another blond “bombshell", a Victoria’s Secret model no less, as my girlfriend?” Louis made a disgusted face as Harry had spoken the words ‘bombshell’ and ‘girlfriend’. Harry had to agree, the idea was horrifying. Not because Camille was a woman, more that it was sick and immoral and wrong in every sense of the word.

****

“Well babe, it gets us out of it, because I have a plan.”

****

The look of pure love, excitement, happiness and relief could not be moved from Harry's face as he listened to what Louis had to say. His plan was genius, as Harry knew it would be. It was almost foolproof, if he was being honest. Sure, it wouldn't leave him in the best financial standings, but what he'd have in return was worth it. All he had to do now was go back out there and face Simon, Jeff and Camille and hope it didn’t backfire in his face. It would be a total culture shock, and he was sad to say goodbye to all that he knew, but the new life and adventure waiting at home was worth more to him than anything Simon and Jeff could ever offer him. 

****

“Are you sure you want to do this, Haz? This is your life and your career, not mine. I’ll support you whatever you chose to do, you know that. I mean, I won’t necessarily like it, but I’ll do it. For you.”

****

“Yes, Lou. I’m sure. There is only one other thing I’ve ever been more sure of.” Harry could almost see the cogs turning in Louis’ head as he tried to work out what the other thing could possibly be. 

****

“What is the other thing?” Louis asked after a few moments, still unable to come up with the answer on his own and Harry smiled at him shyly.

****

“You. The other thing is you, Lou. I knew from the moment I ran into you at Hisense that you were the only one for me. I know that sounds stupid, how could I have possibly known that? But I did, and I don't regret what we have and everything we have shared. I don't regret a second of it.” Harry could see tears swimming in Louis’ eyes, his own tears reflected back at him. Louis really was it for Harry. He had been gone for the incredible man with beautiful eyes and high cheekbones from the second he’d met him and there was nothing in this world that would ever change the way he felt about him. 

****

“I love you, Harry Edward Styles, you bloody sap,” Louis choked out on a watery laugh.

****

“I love you too, Louis William Tomlinson, don’t you ever forget it.” 

****

…..

****

They said their goodbyes soon after, with more fond touches and whispered words of love and encouragement. When Harry had washed his face, rearranged his shirt and tried to tame his hair into some semblance of style, he made his way back out to the main dining room of the restaurant. He eyed the cast iron clock hanging sentary on the wall as he passed by, noting that he’d been holed up in the disabled toilet for the better part of an hour. He almost hoped that Simon, Jeff and Camille had given up waiting on him and left, but his heart sank when he saw them still sitting at the table, laughing and joking amongst themselves, glasses of wine in hand. Great. Now they had alcohol. Could this day get any worse?

****

It was Camille who noticed him first, her face morphing into a look of utter outrage, and it took everything Harry had in him to keep walking steadily towards the table. He hoped his eyes weren't red and his face didn't look blotchy. Louis’ voice was playing on a constant loop in his head focusing him on the steps of their plan, and it was this one thing alone that kept Harry from running out the door and never looking back.

****

The next undetermined amount of minutes of his life were surely going to be some of the hardest, but he had faith in Louis and faith in his plan. He had to trust that it would all work out as they’d projected. Harry took a deep breath as he sat down, Simon and Jeff now joining Camille with disgusted and outraged looks of their own. 

****

“Where the bloody hell have you been?” Simon spat, his face moving of its own accord long after he’d stopped talking. Harry cringed, and he didn't care if Simon could see him. He was beyond done with Simon and his pathetic games.

****

“Who, me? Oh, I was in the bathroom. Bad Kale,” Harry deadpanned, not giving away the slightest hint that he’d been an emotional wreck not twenty minutes beforehand.

****

“Bad Kale you say. What happened to Lewis the stalker? I thought that's who you were running off to talk to?” Camille chimed in, and Harry turned lazily in his chair to meet her gaze. He knew his look was murderous when Camille physically shrank away from him in her chair. Louis had said he had a murderous glare when he wanted to, but he hadn’t believed him. This however was all the proof he needed.

****

“ _ Louis _ , is at home, in Melbourne, nursing some horrific facial injuries because of narrow minded, prejudiced idiots like this bigot,” Harry said, throwing his thumb over his shoulder in the direction Simon was sitting. “Is that ok with you, Camille? Does me having a boyfriend put a spanner in your works? Will your big fat check bounce at the bank tomorrow?” Harry felt as though the entire restaurant had gone silent as he’d spoken. When he looked over Camille’s shoulder, he noted that it was only his table that weren't talking and eating animatedly, and he sighed in relief. He did not need this conversation to make front page news, not yet anyway. 

****

“You do not, and cannot have a boyfriend, Harry. I will not allow it. It is in direct violation of your contract with Syco. You can kiss your career goodbye if you don’t stop this idiotic nonsense,” Simon rambled out. He looked shaken, almost as if he was scrambling to remain in control of the situation, and Harry allowed a smirk to spread across his face. 

****

“Well, I’m sorry to dissolution you, Simon, but Louis and I have been dating since I played Hisense Arena back in April. I  _ do _ have a boyfriend. I’m in love with a man. He is the love of my life. What part of that do you lot not get exactly?” 

****

“But, but Harry. He’s-- he’s a man!” Camille squeaked from her place beside him. Harry rolled his eyes and rubbed at his temples. 

****

“Yes, Camille. I am intimately aware of that fact. What exactly is your point? Please, keep it brief. I have a few things I’d like to say, and then I must head off. I have a plane to catch, you know how it is.” Harry was inwardly cringing at his blatant lack of respect and his less than stellar attitude. If his mother could see him she’d have dragged him home by his ears. But it was necessary. Someone had to stand up to them, to let them know what they were doing was wrong, and apparently he was going to be the person to do it. 

****

“What do you mean, intimately?” Jeff asked, genuine confusion on his features. Were they serious? How much more plain did he have to be? Did he have to whip out his phone and show them naked compromising photos of him and Louis for them to understand?

****

What he settled on instead was, “ _ Intimately _ , Jeff.” 

****

While Jeff looked like he was about to pass out, Simon was turning rapidly into a beetroot from the jowls upward, and Camille was alternating between whether to be horrified or enraged. Louis had warned him it would probably end this way, so he wasn't really all that surprised by their reactions. He needed to move this along though, he had an amazing man waiting for him at home that he wanted to reacquaint himself with,  _ intimately _ . Repeatedly. 

****

“But-- Harry, I--  _ why _ ? Why would you ruin your life, your career and your reputation like that? You'll never sell an album or play a show again? This is career suicide!” Harry stared at Jeff with wide eyes, his eyebrows hitting his hairline, mouth hanging open. He could not believe what he was hearing. Were people honestly still like this, in this economy? Harry shook his head in disbelief, watching as Simon nodded along with Jeff like a bobble-head doll. 

****

“He’s right, Harry, you will lose your entire fanbase over this. People will refuse to work with you, friends will shun you. Why put yourself and your poor family through that? Let me help you; let me be what you need.” As Camille had stopped speaking, she'd placed her hand on the inside of Harry's thigh, rubbing a slow circle with her thumb.

****

Harry didn't outwardly react, he didn't flinch or slap her hand away. He felt like he was being violated, but he strained to keep it together.

****

_ Do it for us, babe. You are so strong. You are so brave. I love you. I'll always love you.  _

****

Louis’ voice echoed in his head. He was doing it for them, for the life they were yet to have together, for love, for adventures, for friendships. It was hard, so much harder than Harry had expected it to be, but he had to do this. He had to do it for Louis, for his fans and for other artists around the globe forced to be closeted by their management teams.Most importantly, he had to do this for himself. 

****

“Camille.” Harry's voice dropped, his gaze intense, and he knew he was practically growling out his words at this point. He felt her stiffen from the point where her hand was resting on his thigh. She looked up at him, sickly smile on her face. It fell immediately when she noted the look on his face and the tone of his voice.

****

“Please, kindly remove your hand from my thigh, or I will report you to the police for sexual harassment.” 

****

“Oh come on now, Harry, you know you don't really want to be with Louis or whatever his name is. We could be good together.” She resumed her lazy circles then, and Harry tried not to recoil or cringe. 

****

“ _ Now _ , Camille. Do. Not. Test. Me.” Harry really was growling now, and Camille whipped her hand back as though she had been burned. That was the final straw. He couldn't continue to be his sweet, charming, accommodating self for a moment longer. 

****

Harry scraped his chair noisily as far away from Camille as it was possible to do so, without falling out the window next to him. He angled his chair so that he could see all three of them at once, not wanting to miss a second of how this was about to play out. He lounged back lazily in the chair, ring clad fingers interlocked in his lap, one long leg folded over the other. 

****

Showtime.

****

“Harry what are you-" Simon began, but Harry simply held up one long finger to his lips and miraculously, Simon had enough common sense remaining to stop talking.

****

“I want you all to listen,  _ carefully _ ,” Harry drawled, taking an avid interest in a speck of dirt on his fingernail, “because I am only going to say this once. Am I clear?” He looked up at them all then. When none of them spoke or moved after a few seconds, he continued. 

****

“Good. Now. As we all know, I am currently signed with Simon and Syco, and Jeff here is my less than competent manager. I was contracted to record three albums, which I have done. Tour said albums, which I have also done, and be a mindless money making machine, that fucks loose women and makes teenage girls weak at the knees.” Camille gasped, Jeff sighed, and Simon made a rather unattractive strangled noise as Harry spoke, but he barreled on before any of them could interrupt. 

****

“However, in light of recent events, and due to the nature of my relationship with Louis, it has been brought to my attention that you, Simon and you, Jeff wish to cut your losses and terminate my contract before you are tied up in scandal, because heaven forbid I love a man.” 

****

Harry took a breath, taking a sip of water and continued on. 

****

“So, I'll make it simple for you as possible. It will save both of us a massive headache, not to mention a mountain of paperwork, then we can all walk away from this trainwreck of a lunch meeting as happy as Larry.” 

****

Harry smiled his Louis smile as the word Larry slipped from his mouth. The pun hadn't been intentional, but it was fitting given the circumstances. 

****

“What exactly are you proposing, Harry?” Simon asked, his hands balled into fists, his knuckles white. 

****

“I am proposing that in a few months time, when my contract ends, that I do not resign with Syco, that I be allowed to walk away from this with a clean slate and also, I want the copyrights to my entire discography, produced and released or not.” 

****

“You honestly think that I'm just going to let you take all of your songs with you? Just let you walk away from this. You're delusional. I  _ own  _ you.” Simon was openly laughing in Harry's face now.

****

“Not for fucking long you won't. This is my request. To be let out of my contract and be allowed to retain rights to  _ my _ music. That  _ I  _ wrote.” 

****

“Or what? Hmm? Or your going to do what, Harry?” 

****

“I will end you. All it would take is about thirty seconds and one tweet for the entire planet to know what kind of sick, sadistic scumbag you are. That you take pleasure in ruining people's lives. That you enjoy controlling who they are, what they wear, how they act, think, feel and what they say and worst of all, who they are allowed to love. And it's all in the name of lining your sodding pockets.” 

****

Harry was standing from his chair now, hands splayed out on the wooden table in front of him, his face as close to Simon's as he could get without feeling like he may be sick from looking at it too closely. He was shaking, his anger coursing through his veins at light speed, tears prickling at the backs of his eyes, but he willed them away and continued on. 

****

“If anyone in this room is delusional, Simon, it’s you. My fanbase doesn't give a shit who I love. They could care less if I'm in a relationship or if I'm single. They don't care if I’m black, white, gay, straight or even transgender for that matter. All they care about is that I am me, and that I'm happy. That's it. Plain and simple. They'd still support me if I painted my nails or wore women's clothes or sang songs about loving whoever it is you want to love. Hell, they'd probably still support me if I wrote a song about sucking a guy off. It is not for you to decide who I am, and who I love. That is  _ my  _ choice.  _ Mine _ . Do you understand me?” 

****

“You're-- you're going to hell for this, Harry!” Simon was yelling at him now, strings of spit flying from his mouth, and Harry gagged as a speck hit his cheek. He stood upright then, not looking at any of them, wiping the spit from his face with a napkin and collecting his belongings that were lying haphazardly on the table in front of him. 

****

“Yes, well. I'll be sure to save you a seat. You know what my terms are, Simon. They are fair, and they are simple. If you don't comply, this lunch meeting and every despicable thing you've ever forced me to do will see the light of day. I don’t give a damn about the fame and the money and the houses and the cars and the gold plated Gucci toothbrushes. None of that means a thing if you don’t know what it's like to be truly loved. And I'm happy to say that I know exactly what that feels like. Not even your buddy, Dan at  _ The Sun _ will he able to make this one go away for you. My career may be over, but so will yours. I expect my exit paperwork and, no doubt, extortionate fee in the mail within the week. You enjoy the rest of your day now, won't you?” 

****

With that Harry marched away from the table, his head held high, the weight of the world feeling as though it had finally been lifted from his shoulders. As he pushed his way out of the restaurant and made his way down the street, walking in no particular direction, he pulled his phone from his pocket and dialled Tay’s number. She answered on the third ring, worry laced in her voice.

****

“Harry! Are you ok? What happened?” 

****

“I'm fine, Tay, I promise. I'll explain what happened soon. But,can you do something for me?”

****

“Of course, anything,” she replied, and Harry couldn't help his face splitting grin.

****

“Pack your bags, Tay, we’re going home.”


	22. Harry's King, Hollywood Rom Com's and Unwavering Trust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry heads home from LA with Tay in tow, Louis is there to meet him at the airport and they both head home for some much needed alone time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is, Chapter 22. I know it has been a few weeks in the making but it was originally a much longer chapter that I've had to split so good news is Chapter 23 will be up by Friday at the latest. Yay!
> 
> As always a massive thank you to Lena (@Wicked_Archer on tw) for being my rock and always listening to my endless questions and nagging her about if my chapters are good or not. Love you endless xx
> 
> And last but not least thank you to every single one of you who are still here, still staying faithful to this story. You are all amazing and I love every single one of you.
> 
>  
> 
> All the love
> 
>  
> 
> Z x

“Harry, please. For the love of all that is good and gay,  _ please _ , stop bouncing your leg,” Tay whined, rubbing at the bridge of her nose, her tone filled with impatience. 

“I’m sorry, Tay. I can’t help it. It’s just, this flight has been the longest fourteen hours of my entire life. I’m going crazy.” 

“I know Harry, I know,” Tay said patting Harry’s knee, effectively stopping the motion of his leg. “We will be there soon, I promise. We should be getting ready to land anyway. Look, I can see the city from here.”

Harry looked out of the window to where Tay was pointing, the Melbourne Skyline shimmering in the distance, before he sat back in his seat letting out a sigh, squished between Tay and a lovely old woman named Agnes. Harry had been so desperate to get home to Louis, to see him, to hold him, that he had asked Tay to book them on the first flight out of LAX, no matter which section of the plane they’d be seated in. Agnes, as it turns out, was a lovely woman who lived in Rosebud, a small town about half an hour from where Louis lived, and it wasn’t long before they had struck up a conversation. 

They’d spent a few hours of the initial leg of the flight discussing lots of seemingly mundane topics including house plants. Agnes had told Harry all about her Japanese Peace Lily, affectionately named, Lily, who was her favourite. Harry had listened intently as she’d told him all about Lily, and how she cared for her. Agnes clearly had no idea who he was, and it was nice to feel like a normal person for a change. Agnes then showed him pictures of her three cats. One was a large orange tabby named Bosco, who looked as though he'd seen his fair share of fights. The second, was a pretty little Tortoiseshell Tabby named Possum, who apparently was the Queen of her domain and loved to perch herself on the highest possible surface to survey her minions. And last but not least, was Smokey, a stunning Russian Blue cross, who was simply the most beautiful cat Harry had ever seen, besides his own cat of course. 

After much discussion about cats, Harry telling her all about his girl Evie, who lived back in England with his mum, Anne, they had a heated debate about which Peninsula fish and chip shop had the best potato cakes. Ultimately they’d decided that it was Tyabb Cafe who had the best ones, before a kind woman had come along with the drinks cart effectively ending their conversation.

Harry had enjoyed talking to Agnes and hadn’t tried to move or complain when about half an hour later she’d fallen asleep, her head resting lightly against his shoulder. He had tried reading to distract himself after Agnes had fallen asleep, although he had just ended up staring at his watch feeling as though hours had passed, when in reality it was nothing more than a few minutes. He had given up on it entirely after he’d read the same three lines of the first chapter of his book four times, not retaining a single thing word on the page in front of him and packed his book back into his bag with Tay’s help, not wanting to disturb Agnes.

He’d tried listening to music after that, but it was a sore point for Harry at the moment. He’d yet to come to terms with the fact that he was currently an unsigned artist, and so writing, recording and performing music weren’t really an option for him. Not right now anyway. He’d talked to Tay for a little while, catching up with her on what she’d been up to since he’d seen her last. Tay had filled him in on her holiday, that Harry had so graciously sent her on as a thank you for working harder than was normal or safe. She’d waxed lyrical about the hot poolside bartender, Darcy, for over an hour and they had both oohed and ahhed and swooned over a few sneaky pictures of him she’d managed to take. He was a tall, handsome blonde, with piercing blue eyes and Harry had the feeling Tay’s holiday was hot in more ways than one.

Despite all of this, Harry had remained restless for the majority of the flight, and it was starting to take its toll on him, and Tay’s sanity. The only thing he wanted was to be wrapped up in Louis. In his arms, his scent, his warmth, as well a few other parts of him and Harry didn’t know how much longer he could stand to be apart from him. As if on cue, a loud voice echoed around the cabin prompting Agnes to sit up abruptly in her seat, a blush creeping up her cheeks when she noticed the wet patch she’d made on Harry’s shirt sleeve. Harry gave her a warm smile, trying to convey to her that he didn’t mind, and he wasn’t upset as the voice continued to ring out around them. 

**_Good evening Ladies and Gentleman. This is your Captain speaking. My name is Andrew Davidson. The Cabin Crew and I  would appreciate it if we could have your attention for a few moments. In a few moments time, we will begin preparing for our final descent into Melbourne, where the local time is 8:10pm, and it is currently a cool thirteen degrees celsius. We would appreciate it if you could please follow any and all instructions given to you by the Cabin Crew, and we hope that you have enjoyed your flight. If you are returning home, welcome home, if you are visiting Melbourne or travelling on, we hope you enjoy your stay whether it be for business or pleasure and that you have a safe journey. Once again, my name is Captain Andrew Davidson and thank you for choosing to fly Qantas._ **

“Finally,” Harry breathed out with a dramatic sigh, slumping back into his seat, and both Tay and Agnes chuckled quietly on either side of him. He could feel the blush rising in his cheeks as Anges patted his hand gently, giving him a fond smile. 

“Someone special waiting for you when you land, young Harry?” Agnes asked him, a knowing look in her eyes. 

“Yeah. Yeah there is actually. Someone really special in fact. I think he’s the one, Agnes. There will never be anyone else for me.” Harry blushed as he waited for Agnes to react to what he had just said. He knew that she probably wouldn’t react well to being told that his special someone was a he and not a she, and he took a deep breath waiting for the inevitable fault in her smile. However, her face lit up at his words, and she clasped one of his large hands in both of her smaller ones. Her skin was wrinkled with age, years of her life worn on her hands, but Harry was surprised to learn that they were incredibly soft, her touch gentle, reassuring even. 

“Well then,” Agnes began, fixing him with an intense gaze, “you best get ready to get off this plane and go and get your man.” Both Harry and Tay laughed at her words, her tone serious, her expression sincere before she chuckled along with them and continued. “Hold on tightly to him, Harry, and don’t ever let go. There is only ever one special one for us in this life. I can see it in your eyes that he is the one for you. You have that look about you. The look of the most intense love. The love of all of your lifetimes, am I right?” 

Harry smiled back at her, both dimples popping, nodding his head. “The love of a thousand lifetimes,” he replied. 

“And does this lucky man have a name?” She asked, and Harry knew that she genuinely wanted to know. That she truly cared.

“Louis. Louis Tomlinson.” It was all Harry could do to stop himself from tearing up, even the mere mention of his name making him emotional, the feeling of love and support he got when he thought of Louis, overwhelming. 

“That sounds like a name a Prince would have. I like it.”

“He is my King, Agnes, as sappy and corny as that sounds, but he is.”

“Well then, that's all I need to know about him to know that he is good enough for you. Not many young men would have sat and listened to me drone on for hours about houseplants and my three cats. But you have shown an old woman real kindness today, Harry. The world needs more people like you in it. You go and get your King, Harry, and promise me that you won’t ever let him go. You deserve a love like that.”

“You’re welcome, Agnes. I’m glad that I had the pleasure to meet you. You are a wonderful person.” They shared a fond look, both of them smiling at each other, and Harry could have sworn Agnes had tears in her eyes, just like he had in his own. 

Agnes didn’t know him, and she didn’t know Louis either, and yet with one conversation, one sentence, she had managed to restore Harry’s faith in love and humanity and genuinely kind people. He placed his other hand over hers then and squeezed gently. “And don’t worry, I won’t let him go Agnes,” he breathed out, throat tight and thick with emotion. “I’ll never let him go again.”

  
  


……

  
  


“Louis, will you stop bouncing? He will be coming down that escalator any second, please just relax,” Rowan said with an exasperated sigh, watching Louis as he bounced up and down on the balls of his feet.

“I can’t help it, Ro, it feels like it's been forever since I’ve seen him. We’ve been fighting so much lately that it feels like weeks. Hell, we may as well be Rose Dewitt Bukater at this point, ‘ _ it’s been eighty four years’ _ .” Rowan couldn’t help but roll his eyes and laugh at Louis’ antics, but Louis felt his statement was completely justified, thank you very much. Dea simply shook her head and nudged him with her elbow, knowing fine well that arguing with him was futile. 

It had been the longest seventeen hours of his life. He hadn’t been able to keep still or concentrate on anything but Harry since he had text him to tell him that he was headed to LAX, and getting his ass on the next flight home. Louis had always been a big fan of Harry’s ass and he wanted nothing more than to touch it, brand it, taste it. Which, standing in an airport full of people at 9 o’clock at night, probably wasn’t the best train of thought. 

He stood on his tiptoes, trying his best to see over the heads of other passengers roaming about the terminal, hurrying to their designated gate or embracing their loved ones. Louis wanted so much for that to be him. To finally feel the warmth from Harry’s body washing over him. To feel the power and security in his strong arms. To breathe in his scent that felt more like home to him than anything ever had before. He was going mad with the need for it, and he didn’t know how much longer he could stand there and wait. The thought had briefly crossed his mind that he should just go and find Harry himself, instead of waiting for Harry to come to him. But he was selfish, and he wanted to witness Harry descending the escalator, the fluorescent lights of the terminal illuminating him from behind like the god he was. To have that image burned into his retinas for life. And so he waited. Impatiently.

“Lou, look,” Dea breathed out beside him then, pointing in the direction of the escalator, and there he was. 

His Harry. In all his godly glory. He looked tired, but happy and downright obscene in skin tight black jeans, his silk blouse buttoned only a quarter of the way up, chest and arm tattoos on display. He looked stunning, with his chocolate curls falling just below the strong line of his jaw, the lights making the soft strands appear golden, his lips shining from where his tongue had peaked out from between them, licking across them in a way that did things to Louis. If he thought the last seventeen hours waiting for Harry to arrive was hard, it was nothing to the two hour car ride he was about to endure home. Fuck.

Louis continued to watch as Harry slowly descended the escalator down to baggage claim, Tay hot on his heels. He felt as though he was seeing Harry again for the first time, the same stomach dropping, heart stopping, chest tightening feeling consuming him. He looked as flawless now as he had that day in his oversized lilac sweater, and Louis couldn’t help the tear filled smile that crossed his face. Here he was,  _ The Harry Styles _ , his Harry, international pops tar, and Louis’ little spoon. He was a mass of contradictions that Louis still couldn’t quite keep up with, still couldn't quite figure out, but he didn’t think he ever wanted to. He never knew which version of Harry he was going to get, a new facet of his personality appearing each and every day. It kept their relationship fun, fresh, interesting. But Louis had almost thrown all of it away. This stunning man with his four nipples and bouncy curls and baby moustache. It was all of these things and more that made up the man that Louis loved and for the first time in almost three days he was actually glad that he and Harry had been forced to spend some time apart.

It had given him a chance to re-evaluate all that he and Harry had, all that they were, and he had concluded that there just simply wasn’t a version of this life in which Harry wasn’t part of the equation. It was as though life had only begun from the moment Harry had stumbled into him three months ago now, like he was only really living for the first time since then. Harry made his world a better place to be in. He made it bright and glorious, full of love and adventure. Nothing stood in their way when they were together, save for maybe each other. They were invincible, a team, neither one as strong alone as they were together. They were made for each other, the perfect half to make the other whole, and Louis couldn’t wait to spend the rest of his life trying to work out the rubik's cube that was Harry Edward Styles.

Louis watched as Harry’s eyes scanned the crowd below him, and when their eyes finally met, Louis felt as though his heart may stop, his breath rushing out of his lungs as though he’d been punched. Harry’s face split into a wide grin, both dimples popping, and Louis could have sworn he had tears in his eyes. Harry began unceremoniously pushing his way through the crowds of passengers then, hurriedly saying ‘excuse me’ and ‘I’m sorry’ to the poor people he damn near knocked over in the process. Louis took off at run, unable to remain standing in place for a moment longer, and Harry stopped dead, dropping his travel bag to the ground, his arms splayed wide.

As Louis reached him, he jumped, Harry catching him without a second thought. Louis threw his arms around Harry’s neck, his legs gripping around his waist tightly, and he brought their lips together in a punishing kiss. Louis brought his hands up so that his fingers were tangled in the curls at the nape of Harry’s neck, his tongue sliding across Harry’s plump bottom lip until he granted him entry, the taste of him washing over every inch of Louis’ body like a tidal wave. Louis hoped that Harry could feel all the love, hurt and apologies he was pouring into the kiss. It was sloppy and frantic, all teeth, tongues and spit, but to Louis, nothing had ever been more perfect. 

His skin felt like it was on fire where Harry’s arms gripped him tightly, his large hands nestled on each side of him, his thumbs blazing a trail of heat as they moved gently up and down his ribcage. Harry moaned into the kiss as Louis took his bottom lip between his teeth, their tongues probing, rediscovering. It was probably the most action Tullamarine Airport had seen in a while, highly inappropriate for their current location, and there would no doubt be high definition photographs of the pair of them circulating every social media site within the hour, but Louis didn’t care. Harry was here. He was home. He was safe, and that was all that truly mattered to him. 

They stayed that way for a few moments, or it could have been hours, Louis wasn’t sure, embracing each other, tasting each other, before he slowly released his grip on Harry’s waist, and Harry allowed him to slide down the length of his lean body until his feet were touching the floor. Shit. Louis was so glad that he had decided to wear his best tracksuit pants, opting for ‘Bogan Chic’ for the occasion, because it was the only thing currently stopping him from walking around Tullamarine Airport with an inappropriately timed hard on. Louis tried to stealthily readjust himself, but he could hear the others snickering behind them. He knew that the pair of them probably looked as though they were filming some cheesy romantic comedy, or a porno, but he didn't have the energy to care. His boy was finally home, and he was back in his arms where he belonged. 

Harry tucked him into his side then, placing a chaste kiss on the top of his head and Louis unabashedly snuggled against Harry's shoulder, wrapping his arm around Harry’s waist, gripping him tightly. The silk of Harry’s blouse, combined with the familiar warmth of his skin felt like heaven and they turned to face the others who were patiently waiting for them. Louis attempted to keep a straight face, to keep a content smile plastered firmly on his lips, but he could feel Harry's hand sliding in underneath his hoodie, his thumb rubbing over the skin on his hip. He wasn't sure if he wanted to kiss Harry in that moment or kick him, because his touch was doing nothing to rectify his current...predicament. 

Louis moved to nuzzle at Harry’s neck, and Harry bent his head down to give Louis easier access. Louis placed a warm kiss right below Harry's ear before whispering, “Harold. My dick is already hard, and I will fuck you, right here, right now, in front of all of these lovely people. Please, stop doing that.” Louis punctuated each sentence with a soft kiss to whichever exposed bit of Harry's skin he could reach. Harry moaned in response, and Louis quickly moved out of his hold. Louis instantly felt bereft at the loss of Harry's warmth, but he might just end up coming in his pants if Harry didn't ease up on his antics, so he convinced himself that it was a necessary evil.

“You two about done?” Rowan asked with a smirk, Louis’ head whipping around to look at him, and he couldn’t help but roll his eyes at him, giving him the finger. 

“Nope,” Harry replied casually, before Louis even had a chance to speak. He looked up at him, surprise clearly written on his face. “Not even fucking close,” Harry clarified, looking at them all with a shit eating grin, and all Louis could do was laugh. 

  
  


…..

  
  


Louis and Harry stood at the end of the driveway, hands clasped tightly between them a few hours later, waving as Rowan drove off into the night. They had made a detour to Dea’s apartment in the city, Tay opting to stay the night with her and have some much needed ‘girl time’. Louis knew it was an excuse to get out of having to come home with himself and Harry, the other three convinced they knew what was going to happen between them, but he was grateful. With Dea and Tay in the city, his mum working yet another night shift and Lottie still taking up residence at Niall’s, they would have the entire house to themselves. 

When the tail lights of Rowan’s Range Rover were nothing but tiny specks of light, they continued to stand there, looking out over the bay, despite the chilly August wind whipping around them. Louis felt it when goosebumps appeared on Harry’s skin, nothing but his thin silk blouse keeping out the cold. He turned to face Harry then, the moonlight reflected in his eyes, the sounds of the waves lapping the shoreline filling Louis’ ears. 

Louis had never been an overly religious man, in fact, he didn’t honestly think that God even existed, not with what he’d had to endure in his relatively short life. Despite this though, he knew that Harry was the closest thing to an Angel, the closest to heaven, that he was ever going to get. There was simply no other explanation. Harry was heaven sent, and that was all there was to it. He knew he was staring, looking at him the same way he had the first night they'd met as he’d pranced and gyrated around the stage. Completely enraptured, hopelessly in love. It was sickening really, the way that Louis felt about Harry. How with one look, one kiss, one nose scrunch or bat of an eyelash he could bring Louis to his knees. Literally and figuratively. Harry allowed him to lose all sense of self, all control of the turmoil swirling around in his mind and life. He'd never wanted that with anyone else, never wanted or needed to relinquish all control and just simply  _ feel _ . With Harry though, it was a welcome distraction, a way to escape the mundane. A way to free his mind and his body. Harry gave him that. Louis needed it, he craved it, like the air in his lungs or the blood in his veins and he simply couldn't wait to feel that again, not for another second. 

And yet, Louis was more nervous now, standing there in the pale moonlight, Harry standing beside him, like a beacon, than he thought he’d ever felt in his life. He hadn’t been this nervous when he’d packed up his entire life and moved to the other side of the world. He hadn’t been this nervous on his first day at his new school, with everyone commenting on how his accent was so different from theirs, having to constantly endure ridicule for the way he spoke. He hadn’t been this nervous when he’d auditioned for the leading role in his Year 12 end of year play or when he’d lost his virginity to that one hot kid on the football team he couldn't remember the name of. Having sex with Harry for the first time hadn’t even been this nerve wracking. It had simply happened. It had felt sure and right and real. But this, this felt special, significant, monumental even.

Louis turned, letting his small hand slip from Harry's larger one, making his way steadily back up the driveway. When he was almost at the front door, he stopped, looking over his shoulder to see Harry still standing at the foot of the driveway staring back at him. 

“You coming?” Louis asked, loud enough that he knew Harry could hear him, but it felt like a whisper, a promise. Harry nodded his head, swallowing hard, his hands clenching and unclenching into fists. He ran his hand through his hair, attempting to push it back from his face, but the wind only sent the strands flying in all directions. To Louis, he looked wild, primal, with his chest heaving and his hair looking as though it had a life of its own. 

Louis licked his lips, his eyes never once leaving Harry’s, despite the fact that every few seconds they were obscured by his hair. Louis began to turn around, slowly, deliberately. His heart was beating faster than he thought was probably safe and the familiar feelings of arousal began to bloom in his belly. His hands hung limply at his sides, his throat dry as he watched Harry’s face morph from one of apprehension and uncertainty, to one of pure carnal hunger. Harry looked like he may actually devour him. Tear him apart piece by tiny piece and Louis welcomed it. Harry looked like a sleek, toned predator, taking measured and calculated steps, inching his way closer to his prey. Louis began to take tentative steps towards him, Harry’s steps coming in quicker succession until they were standing mere inches from each other. Louis looked up into Harry’s green eyes, his pupils blown, chest rising and falling rapidly. Louis thought he probably didn’t look much better as they continued to stand there simply staring at each other, neither touching, silently willing the other to take the fall. To jump off the edge and dive head first into the rest of their lives. 

It had been Louis who had breached the gap when they had found themselves in this exact position back in April. That night seemed like a distant memory, yet like it had happened only yesterday all at once. Louis’ breath hitched in his throat, his palms sweating with anticipation, itching to touch, but he needed Harry to be the one to make the first move. To prove to him that they really were ok. That they could move past all that had gone before this moment. To start again, with a clean slate, a fresh start. It had to be Harry’s choice. He had given up so much for Louis already. More than anyone ever should. He wasn’t about to make this decision for him too. If Harry wanted this, as badly as Louis did, then it would be because Harry wanted it.

Harry took another step closer to him then, their toes touching and brought his hands up to cup Louis’ face. Louis flinched at the touch, an involuntary reaction that had become second nature since the weekend, and he cast his eyes down, looking at his feet, not wanting to see the hurt in Harry’s eyes. “Look at me,” Harry said, his voice low, barely audible over the sound of the ocean, but it echoed inside of Louis. The words tumbling around inside his heart like a pinball machine. They touched the deepest parts of him, Harry’s warmth and light blazing a trail through the darkness as they went. 

He lifted his head slightly, peering up at Harry through his eyelashes. “Please,  _ please _ don't ever shy away from me, love,” Harry cooed.

Harry had inched closer and closer to him as he'd spoken, his hands now resting gently on either side of Louis’ face, his fingertips reaching around into his hair. He began thumbing over both of his cheeks, delicately on the side that was still covered in bandages. His eyes were moving rapidly backwards and forwards searching Louis’ face, for what he wasn't sure, but Louis hoped that he found the answers he was looking for reflected back in his eyes. An infinitesimal smile tugged at Harry’s soft lips then, and as if in slow motion, Harry brought their lips together. Louis had expected the kiss to become heated quickly, neither of them able to keep their hands off of each other. He’d expected this night to go a lot of different ways, but this certainly wasn’t one of them.

Harry’s lips ghosted across his own so lightly, it was as though a feather had touched him. They were soft, warm, the kiss gentle, perfect. Nothing about it was hurried or forced, Harry happy to take as much time as he liked even though they were still standing out in the driveway, after midnight, in the cold. After a time, the kiss became less chaste, more forceful but still oh so gentle. Louis couldn’t help but lean into it, their bodies now pressed together from head to toe. He brought his arms up to Harry’s broad back, feeling the muscles move and constrict beneath the silk. He wanted so badly to be in bed with Harry, watching as their naked bodies meshed together perfectly, and yet he was content to stay there all damn night, just as they were now. 

As Louis dug his nails into Harry’s shoulder blades, Harry brought his hands down slowly, letting them trail down the length of Louis’ neck, his chest, until they were cupping his ass through his tracksuit bottoms. Louis couldn't help the moan that escaped him, Harry swallowing it down with his kiss before it was lost on the wind. Still the kiss was slow, steady, neither of them wanting to be the one to take it to that next level. Both of them wanting to make this moment, this night, last forever. To memorize each other’s bodies, to memorize the sounds they made and the way the other felt, tasted. Louis was slowly going crazy with the need to feel Harry’s naked body against his own, but Harry was in charge tonight. Whatever Harry decided, he would agree to blindly, without a second thought. 

Louis didn’t flinch or yell out as Harry grasped his shapely thighs, lifting him up off the ground as though he weighed nothing at all. Louis brought his legs around Harry’s hips, his feet linked at the small of his back, his arms still firmly around his neck. Their kiss hadn’t broken for a second, save for the occasional break for air. It all just seemed so natural, so right. Like this was how they were supposed to be. Two love sick idiots, freezing half to death in their driveway. Louis moved his mouth to Harry’s jaw, kissing his way along it and down his neck. Harry threw his head back, stumbling slightly, a breathy ‘oh fuck’ leaving his lips as Louis used his tongue to trace down the long column of Harry’s neck to his collar bones. 

Louis began sucking a bruise into Harry’s collarbone as Harry slowly began to move them closer to the house. Louis needed to mark him. To let the world know that Harry was his. That he always really had been, even long before they’d met, and he always would be. He could think of other more permanent ways to show it, but it would have to do for now. Louis released him as his back slammed against the wood of the front door. He looked up to find Harry’s gaze boring into him, his pink tongue darting out to coat his kiss bitten lips. 

“You are so fucking beautiful,” Harry breathed out, his tone sincere. He was panting and out of breath, and Louis wasn’t sure what to say. Or if he should even say anything in response. So he didn’t. He simply smiled shyly at him, Harry’s lips quirking into a half smile of their own. 

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted this,” Louis whispered into the space below Harry’s ear. He pressed a soft kiss to his neck, and he could feel Harry’s hands gripping him tighter from where they were on his back, trapped between Louis and the door. 

“God, you feel so fucking good. I can’t stand it. I need you, Lou. Need to see you, need to be in you. Please, baby. Please….” Harry was rambling now, his long fingers digging almost painfully into Louis’ shoulder blades, accentuating the most important parts of his hurried speech. Louis needed him too. He needed to feel Harry, for Harry to let him lose control. To reconnect with him and to reaffirm the love that they shared. But he still hadn’t been cleared of his concussion by Dr. Peats, and he knew Harry wasn’t going to take the news well.

“I want that, too, my love. More than you know. Fuck, you don’t understand how badly I want you right now. But, but we can’t.” Harry froze, locking his eyes with Louis’. 

“What? Why? I-- I don’t understand.” Harry looked hurt and confused, so Louis hurried to reassure him it wasn’t because of anything he had done. They had come so far in these last few days Louis felt. Had come so far in mending the bridge that Louis had been so intent on burning, and he wasn’t going to let this set them back again.He didn’t want to start their new beginning on a lie, so he felt the need to be honest about this, knowing what Harry had said the last time they were in this same predicament. 

“I haven’t been given the all clear yet, Haz. I-- fuck. As far as everyone is concerned, I’m still suffering the effects of a concussion. Which is bollocks, I feel fine.” Harry gave him an odd look then, his head tilting slightly to the side, brows furrowed. 

“You really feel fine?” Harry asked.

“Honest, I do. Just my face hurts sometimes, but that's a given innit?” Harry pressed a featherlight kiss to the white bandages adorning Louis’ cheek then, and Louis couldn’t help the defeated sigh that escaped him.

“Do you trust me?” Harry queried, his eyes reflecting nothing but sincerity.

“Of course, I trust you.” And he did. Louis trusted Harry with his heart, his life, his everything. He trusted him to stitch together all the broken pieces of his shattered heart and hold onto it tightly so that it would never break again. Harry anchored him to the world, never letting him drift or falter or be blown off course. Harry never needed to ask Louis if he had his trust, it had never been a question he needed to ask and never would be again, because the answer would always be a resounding, yes. 

Harry didn’t say anything after that, he simply brought their lips together in a searing kiss. Louis could feel its effects all the way down to the tips of his toes, and he fell into it, drowning in it, letting it consume him. He didn’t know what Harry was planning to do, or why he needed to know that Louis trusted him, but he did. He trusted Harry implicitly. When Harry carried him into the house, somehow managing to avoid his luggage, then into the studio, he didn’t question him. He didn't protest when Harry placed him gently down on the Chesterfield and began to methodically build a fire in the fireplace. He didn’t make a sound or try to move from his spot as Harry flitted about the room, collecting candles and oils and a variety of other things that Louis kept upstairs on the mezzanine floor. He simply sat and watched. He didn’t need to know all the ins and outs of what Harry was up to. He trusted him, and he loved him and that was all the explanation he needed.

 


	23. Fluffy Rugs, Emotional Excahanges and Early Morning Thoughts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis has never experienced this level of emotions and sensations in his life, will he survive?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Afternoon my lovelies! Here it is as promised, on the day it was promised no less! Chapter 23.
> 
> This one was emotional for me to write, and I hope that you all experience the emotion of this with Louis and Harry.
> 
> As always and I cant ever say it enough times a MASSIVE thank you to Lena (@Wicked_Archer on tw) for helping me work through this and keeping me on track. You'll never know how much I value your support and help. Love you endless xx
> 
> And also a massive thank you to all my readers old and new. Y'all are the reall MVP's
> 
> Kudos, Comments and DM's welcome.
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
>  
> 
> All the love
> 
>  
> 
> Z x

“Just relax baby,” Harry said, leaning down over Louis to whisper the words directly into his ear. 

They were home alone, nothing but them and the rambling emptiness, but Harry continued to whisper words to Louis as though he wanted no one else on Earth but him to hear them. Louis nodded his head from his position on the Chesterfield. Louis sat and patiently waited as Harry flitted about the studio, a whirl of long limbs and chocolate curls. He hadn’t felt frustrated by it, or annoyed that it was getting later and later and Harry was swindling away precious time. Nope. He simply used the time to admire everything he loved about Harry. Every quirk that most people didn’t see or took for granted that made Harry who he was. All the little things that Louis loved above everything else. 

Louis loved the way Harry’s brows knitted together when he was concentrating, small lines forming between them that Louis wanted to kiss. Or the way that his pinky and ring fingers seemed to operate separately to the rest of his hand. It was also in the way that he would run a hand through his hair, pushing it back from his face only for it to fall back the way it had been moments before. Louis also loved things like how he knew Harry hated buttons on shirts, but loved how they looked so he wore them anyway, buttoned only a quarter of the way up so as not to appear indecent. Or how he never wore matching socks. Or that he liked to wear his boots at least one size too big. They were Harry’s ‘little things’ and Louis vowed he’d never take any of them for granted ever again. 

Harry darted up the spiral staircase then, taking the stairs two at a time. Louis would never have been able to do that, his thick thighs and short legs not being able to reach the distance. He brought back an armful of supplies a few moments later, that Louis knew for a fact would have taken him at least two trips to collect, Harry’s large hands aiding his quest. He laid them all out on the coffee table in front of Louis, everything from his favourite vanilla scented candles, to lube and a few towels amongst other things. Louis was intrigued by Harry’s assortment of items and wondered what he was going to do with them all. He hadn’t been cleared of his concussion, and he knew that sex was out of the question, however it appeared as though Harry had figured out a way around that small detail.

“What’s all this for then?” Louis asked, keen to know what Harry was up to.

“You’ll find out soon enough,” is all Harry said in response, flashing Louis a mischievous grin before continuing with his task.  

Harry made quick work of lighting a fire in the fireplace for them, the studio not as cold as the rest of the house thanks to the countless layers of soundproofing, but still cold enough to warrant a fire. Louis then watched as Harry positioned all of the candles in the exact spot he wanted them to be, lighting them carefully, his tongue peeking out from between his lips as he did so. Lastly Harry placed the bottle of lube, some other bottles Louis couldn’t quite make out and the towel down on the fluffy rug in front of the fire. It could be considered cliche, to lie naked together by the fire, or whatever it was that Harry was planning, but to Louis it was beyond perfect. He would never admit it to anyone if they’d asked, but he was a sucker for romance. Flower petals, cuddling by the fire and all that other sappy shit. So to know that Harry had gone to all of this effort for him, after he had been on a plane all day and was probably dog tired, made tears prick at the backs of Louis’ eyes. 

Harry switched the main lights off as he passed by the switches, casting the room into darkness. Louis could make out most of his tall figure, bathed in a hazy, orange glow from the fire crackling away in the hearth behind him. Harry looked ethereal, like something dreamt up from a novel, and Louis swallowed hard as he made his way over to him. Harry hadn’t said anything for what felt like forever, had been too busy concentrating on setting everything up, so when he spoke, his voice sounded deeper than normal, gravelly even, and it was as if the words had a direct line to Louis’ cock. He could feel it twitching in interest beneath his tracksuit pants, and he wondered briefly how he was going to get out of the “no rigorous activities” rule with a raging hard on he wouldn’t be able to hide for much longer. 

“Come over here, baby,” Harry said, his voice low and rumbling. He held out a hand for Louis to take, the metal of Harry’s rings glistening in the candle light.

Louis took his hand, Harry’s rings feeling cool against his rapidly heating skin. He allowed Harry to pull him up from the sofa, his feet moving of their own volition closer to Harry until he had his long, muscular arms wrapped around his waist, their chests flush. Louis tilted his head towards Harry, standing on his tiptoes to bring their lips together. Again it wasn’t hurried or forced. It simply happened as naturally as breathing. It was soft and slow and utterly perfect. Louis knew Harry felt the same way as he did, his grip tightening ever so slightly around Louis the longer that they kissed. 

Louis couldn’t stop his hands from finding their way into Harry’s curls or down to his chest, his skin warm underneath his palms. Louis brought a thumb over Harry’s nipple, their kiss not once becoming more than the pure perfection it had been all night. He used his thumb to tease him until the nub became a hard peak. Louis wanted so much to taste Harry. To use his lips to memorize every inch of his body, and so he did. Louis forced himself to step out of Harry’s hold, Harry letting him go without question.

The only outward signs that Harry was at all affected by Louis were the thick outline of his cock in his obscenely tight jeans, both of his nipples poking into the material of his shirt, the way his chest rose and fell rapidly and the carnal look in his eyes. Most people would have missed everything but the hard on he was currently sporting, but not Louis. He knew that look, and he knew what Harry wanted and so he intended to give it to him.

“Can I?” Louis asked as he began to trail warm, wet kisses down the middle of Harry’s chest, stopping every now and then to trace the black ink of Harry’s tattoos with the tip of his tongue. 

He stopped, looking up when Harry didn’t say anything at first. But he began frantically nodding his agreement, and Louis smiled against Harry’s chest as he continued to place lazy kisses on his skin. “I always want your touch, Lou,” Harry choked out. “Always want to feel your hands and your mouth on me.” 

Louis’ fingertips trailed along the parts of Harry’s chest that his mouth wasn’t already occupying, spurred on by Harry’s words and the feel of him grabbing two fistfulls of his hoodie as Louis brought his left nipple between his teeth. He hissed out a breath when Louis released it, flicking over it with his tongue. As with their kisses, Louis took his time, wanting to savour how Harry felt, how he tasted and all of the delicious noises that he was pulling from deep within him. 

“Oh fuck, Lou…” Harry moaned as Louis moved over to his other nipple, continuing to tease the first one with his thumb and finger. “I need to see you, need to feel you.” Harry was rambling at a speed that was rare for him, but Louis kept up his slow ministrations.

“I need to know you’re real, that you're really here. That you aren't going to slip through my fingers, again. Please Louis, please.Take this off,” Harry continued, tugging at the oversized hoodie Louis was wearing as he rambled. “Please, baby, take it off.” Louis released Harry’s nipple as he finished his short speech and looked up into his impossibly green eyes. He lifted his arms above his head, and after a few seconds passed, Harry realised that Louis was waiting for him to do it for him. 

Harry licked his lips seductively as he brought his hands down to the hem of Louis’ hoodie, slowly lifting it up and over his head, his knuckles grazing Louis’s skin, blazing a trail of white hot heat as they went. It shot directly down Louis’ spine to his neglected cock, now hard and heavy in his tracksuit pants. Louis couldn't help but rut against Harry, his cock brushing against Harry's through his jeans, and he let a moan escape his lips. Harry threw his hoodie off to the side, the darkness of the room swallowing it whole, before bringing his lips back to Louis’, his hands trailing along his spine. 

“You are so fucking beautiful,” Harry whispered against Louis’ lips. “So fucking beautiful.” Louis looked up into Harry’s eyes, a smirk on his face.

“I think you meant handsomely rugged,” Louis replied, lifting a questioning eyebrow at him. Harry laughed and yet it still wasn’t loud. Still muted and only for Louis. This was their moment, and not even a laugh was going to be shared with anyone other than Louis so it seemed. Harry’s sole focus was on them and them alone. Nothing and no one was going to be a part of that or ruin it for them.

“Fine,” Harry replied through another chuckle, kissing Louis again. “Handsomely rugged and manly, but still beautiful. The  _ most _ beautiful.”

Louis felt like he might cry if Harry didn’t stop whispering sweet nothings to him in his sinful, rumbling voice. He never failed to make Louis feel like the most precious thing on Earth. Something that had to be savoured, treasured, protected. Like a priceless artifact or the Mona Lisa. Louis still didn’t quite believe he deserved such treatment from Harry. Still didn’t want to believe it, but he was trying. Trying to believe Harry when he said those things. Trying to believe that Harry was being sincere, that he truly meant every word. And so instead of arguing the point like he usually would, he kept quiet, letting the feeling of Harry’s lips and hands on his skin wash over him. Wash away all the negativity that he harboured, and just feel.

 

…..

 

“Fuck, Harry that feels so good,” Louis groaned as Harry continued to massage scented oils into his back. Louis had Harry straddling him, both of them naked now, Harry slowly massaging every inch of his body for the better part of what could have been hours, and Louis felt like jelly. At first, Harry’s hard cock had been nestled between his cheeks, causing a distraction for him, but despite his best efforts to take things further, Harry had insisted on continuing the massage. Finally, Louis had just relaxed and allowed him to rub oil all over his body with his big hands gliding smoothly over his skin. It was the best decision Louis had made to date. 

“I know, baby,” Harry replied, wiggling his hips a bit, his cock nestling deeper. “It’s supposed to feel good.”

It felt better than fucking good. It felt out of this world. Louis knew he was supposed to be relaxing. Concentrating on the way the flames from the fire crackled, the smell of vanilla that was filling the room and the way he felt like he was falling into the fluffy rug below him, but all he could concentrate on was the feeling of Harry’s strong hands on his shoulders and neck, the way Harry’s balls were resting just below his arse cheeks and his own dick getting harder and harder by the second. Every so often Harry would lean forward and kiss his neck or whisper words of love in his ear and it never failed to make Louis gasp, goosebumps appearing all over his oiled skin. As Harry brought his hands up over Louis’ shoulders and down the length of his arms, massaging his palms and each finger individually, he moved himself backwards, so that he was kneeling between Louis’ slightly parted legs near his feet.

Louis could see him in his peripheral vision, pouring more scented oil into a ceramic bowl. Louis had no idea where he’d produced the bowl from, but watched on as he set it down nearer to the fireplace. Louis was curious as to what Harry had planned but kept silent, not wanting to ruin his mood or this moment. Soon Harry’s hands were back on him, Louis missing the feel of his rings that usually adorned his fingers, Harry having opted to take them off before he had begun. This time though Harry started at Louis’ hips, running his palms over both cheeks of Louis’ firm, plump behind, kneading his fingers into the meaty flesh, before travelling down the length of both legs, all the way to his feet. 

Harry repeated the process over and over and over again, until Louis’ eyes began to slip shut, his breathing becoming more even. It was just as Louis thought that he may actually fall asleep, that he felt it. His eyes flew open, not having been sure he’d actually felt it or been dreaming it and tried to remain as still as possible, so if it happened again he would be sure. He struggled to keep his breathing even, his body still, not wanting to make Harry think that there was anything amiss. And there wasn’t, even if he hadn’t dreamt up what he had felt. Especially if he hadn’t dreamt it, and so Harry began the slow, methodical process again.

Again he started at Louis’ hips, his fingertips travelling down over his bum, down his right leg, then his left, all the way to the tips of his toes. Nothing to write home about there, but as Harry’s hands travelled back up his legs, Louis concentrated hard, holding his breath so as not to miss it, and there it was. Harry’s thumb grazed gently between his cheeks, tracing around his rim, then trailed down to his balls. It was like being electrocuted, or how Louis imagined that fireworks felt. All of them exploding simultaneously over his skin, his dick instantly hard. 

He had managed to ignore his cock earlier, willing his erection away knowing that there would be no chance of having sex with Harry until he had been cleared of his concussion, but he couldn’t this time. Not with how relaxed he felt. Not when Harry was doing sinful things to his body with just his hands. Not when Harry kept leaning forwards to kiss below his ear, his curly locks tickling Louis’ neck sending shockwaves down his spine. There was just simply no way he could ignore his body this time.

Again the process repeated, only this time Harry left one hand on each leg, so that when they travelled back towards Louis’ ass, both thumbs grazed over his exposed balls, splitting his cheeks ever so slightly, the cooler air in the room hitting his hole like an arrow to a target. It was sensory overload. Louis’ mind was filled with nothing but images of how this would look to someone watching them, as if seeing it from outside his own body. His nostrils were filled with the scent of vanilla, burning wood and Harry, and all he could feel was the way Harry’s hands glided over his skin, how the cool air surrounding them hit his skin as Harry moved, not yet warmed by the fire and the overwhelming urge to throw Harry up against a wall and ravage him despite being so relaxed he may still fall asleep. 

“ _ Harry _ …” Louis whined, unable to articulate what he was feeling any other way. 

“Yes, my love?” Harry replied, not seeming the slightest bit phased by what he was doing. “Is there something,  _ wrong _ ?” As Harry said the last word, drawing it out, his thumbs nestled their way between Louis’ cheeks again, this time separating them wider than the other three times he’d done it. 

“ _ Fuck _ …” Louis was now laying on his cock, it throbbed painfully as he spoke, the movement of his body causing it to rub between his body and the rug. 

Harry chuckled before placing another kiss directly between Louis shoulder blades. So this was how it was going to be? Louis reduced to a pile of sensations, unable to do anything but moan random words as Harry took great pleasure in tormenting him. So be it. Louis had never felt anything more all consuming in his entire life, except maybe that one time Harry had eaten his ass for an hour straight. Louis had come harder than he ever had in his life, and he knew for a fact that if that were even a remote possibility tonight, that his balls just might explode with it. 

“Soon my, love. Soon, I promise.” What? What did Harry mean by soon? He couldn’t possibly mean what Louis thought he did.

Again Harry kissed Louis’ spine, only this time he didn’t stop at one kiss, trailing them down the entire length of it, his hands never stopping their slow trek up and down Louis’ legs, his cheeks being spread further apart with each pass, until both of Harry’s thumbs were gliding over his slick entrance. Louis’ back arched inward, his head and shoulders rising up off of the rug, his legs twitching with the force of the sensations washing over him like a tidal wave. 

“Oh fuck. Harry.  _ Fuck _ …” 

“Patience, my love,” Harry breathed out, again, seeming totally unaffected by what he was doing to Louis, Louis damn near out of his mind with it. 

So maybe he  _ was  _ planning to do what Louis thought he was. But how? They couldn’t. He couldn’t. His concussion, he wasn’t cleared, and oh fuck, that felt so good. Harry had begun kissing his way over both of Louis’ cheeks now, slowly letting his lips skim across the surface of his skin, the tiny hairs standing on end as Harry breathed in and out. Louis was gripping into the the pile of the rug below him now, attempting to stop himself from thrashing around, his mind becoming hazy, his thoughts a whirl of sensations, sounds and smells. 

Again, Harry poured more oil onto Louis’ skin, his hands working their torturous magic, his thumbs sliding up and down his legs, up over his cheeks, over his hole. With each pass Harry’s touch became more forceful, more calculated, more deliberate, and Louis didn’t know how much more of it he could endure. His cock felt like it was going to explode, painfully throbbing beneath the weight of his body, and the more he tried not to thrash the worse it became. Louis needed Harry to touch him, ironic he knew, given that was all Harry had been doing for hours, but he needed it, in places that were screaming for it, craved it, savoured it. He needed it. He needed it right this second, or else he might go mad .

“Turn over, my love. I need to see you,” Harry rasped into Louis’ ear when his legs had begun to shake and his head and chest had lifted up from the rug below them with the force of what Harry was putting his body through. Louis nodded, in no position to form coherent sentences let alone argue the point. He let out a sigh of relief then,  _ finally _ , his poor neglected cock would be free from its painful prison between the rug and his body.

Louis slumped forwards again, Harry moving back to allow Louis room to roll over onto his back. His painfully hard cock brushed against the fluffy rug below him as he moved, and Louis let out a low moan. It was painful and perfect, the friction he longed for, but it wasn’t Harry’s hand or mouth, and that was what he truly craved. Louis could see Harry watching him with dark eyes. Watching the way his body moved, the way his cock sprang free as Louis nestled himself back on the floor, Harry’s lip coming between his teeth as if on instinct. 

Harry continued to kneel between Louis’ feet for a while and stare down at him. He didn’t say anything and Louis felt exposed, more so than just being naked below Harry, feeling as if Harry could see into his soul. His lip was still trapped between his teeth, his hands clenching and unclenching on the tops of his thighs, and Louis ached for Harry to touch him, to kiss him, to do  _ something _ . 

“Touch me, please, baby. I need you to touch me,  _ please _ .” Louis was begging now, and he honestly didn't care. He knew what he wanted. Harry knew what he wanted, and he needed it now, preferably before his balls exploded with the need to be touched. Concussion or not he needed Harry touching him or inside of him, preferably both, now. He’d never been edged this intensely in his life, and he was almost afraid of what would happen if he did eventually come. Whatever happened though, he knew it would be worth it. 

“I thought you said you were still concussed, my love. I thought you said we couldn’t,” Harry replied conversationally, as he trailed a finger lazily up and down the inside of Louis’ leg. Louis closed his eyes, his mouth falling open as the sensation set off goosebumps all over his skin. It was becoming too much for him to handle. He needed to be touched, or he was going to have to take matters into his own hands, literally.

“I don’t give a fuck about the concussion, Harry. Just fucking touch me. I need you to touch me, please. Please, baby, I need, I need you to…”

Louis’ rambling was cut short by Harry drizzling more oil onto his chest, his stomach and his cock. Louis sucked in a breath as the liquid slid down his shaft, onto his balls and between his cheeks. He gripped firmly onto the rug below him as if afraid he was going to float away, and his back arched up off of the floor as Harry brought his hands down onto his chest, massaging the oil into his skin. Harry was going to be the death of him, he just knew it. He was taking far to much pleasure in torturing him. It was, of course, extremely pleasurable torture, but torture nonetheless. 

Louis almost came on the spot as Harry took his throbbing cock in his hand. He moved it slowly up and down, not applying any pressure, just letting his palm and fingers glide over his shaft, aided by the oil. He leant down over Louis, their bodies coming together, his cock and Harry’s hand being trapped between them. Harry continued to move his hand slowly up and down Louis’ slick cock, using his other hand to steady himself as he ground his hips downwards, only adding to the already overwhelming sensations. It wasn’t enough, but also too much, but before Louis could really think too much about it, Harry’s hand and body were gone. His eyes flew open, and he was about to question why Harry had suddenly stopped, when Harry straddled him once more, Louis’ hard cock nestling between Harry’s cheeks, the ceramic bowl he had placed in front of the fire earlier in his hand. 

“Look at me, baby,” Harry whispered, and Louis’ gaze flew to his. Harry’s eyes were hooded and dark, barely a trace of the green shade Louis loved so much left. He swallowed, the sound filling his ears, sounding much louder than it probably was. Harry used his free hand to push his hair out of his face then, one lone strand falling back in front of his eyes, and Louis thought he was the most magnificent sight he had ever laid eyes on. 

The firelight was causing enticing shadows on Harry’s skin, his lean muscles rippling below it as he moved, and Louis wanted to sink his teeth into his laurel tattoos, to mark Harry again, to show the world that he was his. He could now, right? After Harry’s meeting, was he allowed to show the world that Harry was his? God he hoped so. He wanted to taste Harry, to feel his body move beneath his lips, beneath his fingers, but he was trapped between Harry and the rug, so all he could do was watch. Watch as Harry fixed him with an intense gaze. Watch as Harry let his head fall backwards, his chocolate curls cascading between his shoulder blades. Watch as his hand came up level with his chest, tipping the contents of the bowl slowly over himself.

Louis gasped as he watched the warm oil trickle its way down Harry’s chest, over his butterfly tattoo and into his belly button before it mingled with the dark patch of hair at the base of his shaft. It caused the black ink of his tattoos to glisten, his skin becoming a shimmering golden colour that Louis couldn’t tear his eyes away from. He looked exotic, sinful and all of the good things in life, and Louis couldn’t quite believe he got to call this beautiful man his.

Louis held his breath as Harry placed the bowl down next to them, using both of his hands to push the oil over his chest, down his stomach and up his shaft. It rushed out in a strangled moan when the oil met his skin, warmed by the fire and Harry’s body, running down the sides of his hips and between his legs. As Harry continued the slow motions of his large hand on Louis’ cock, Louis couldn’t help but buck his hips up into the feel of it, watching Harry oil himself, the feeling of it dripping down onto his own body too much for Louis. He was already on the verge, and this was about to bring him to the precipice. 

“Fuck Harry. I think I’m gonna come. Stop. You have to stop, or I’ll come,” Louis panted out as Harry began moving his hips in a figure eight motion, effectively bringing Louis closer and closer to orgasm. Every sense was filled with Harry. The scent of Harry’s favourite vanilla candles filling his nostrils, the feel of the oil and his body on Louis, the delicious noises he was making filling his ears and the sight of him, oiled and looking completely fucked out, all adding up to sensory overload and an impending orgasm Louis thought may just spell the end for him. 

“I don’t want to stop. Come on, baby, come for me,” Harry growled as he leant over Louis, bringing their lips together in a punishing kiss. His words shot straight to Louis’ cock like a lightning bolt, and before he could do or say anything else, he was coming hard between Harry’s cheeks. 

“Fuck!” Louis yelled out as Harry released his mouth, his back arching up off of the rug, his fingers digging into Harry’s thighs, sure to leave bruises, and he was sure he could taste blood in his mouth from where he had no doubt split his lip with his teeth. It felt like it was never ending, his cock pulsing hot come into the space between Harry’s cheeks for what felt like minutes. Harry continued to grind his hips, squeezing his cheeks together and lifting himself slowly up off of Louis, dragging every last vestige of come from his body in the process. 

Louis flopped back onto the rug, his body going limp, his chest heaving, his breaths coming out in rapid huffs. He was right. Harry had killed him. This couldn’t be real life. He was in heaven, or hell, it could be both at this point, either way he had never felt more euphoric. He felt like he was floating. Like a stiff wind would pick him up and carry him away, and he wouldn’t complain, and he wouldn’t fight it. He would just simply let it carry him away on a cloud of tingling sensations and contentedness. 

“Are you still with me, Lou?” Harry asked as he lay his body gently down on top of Louis’ again, pressing his hips to Louis’ gently. 

“Yeah, I think so,” Louis replied, his voice sounding hoarse and gravelly to his own ears. 

“How is your head feeling? Are you in any pain?” Harry asked. Louis took a few deep breaths and closed his eyes, concentrating on the feeling of his head and not the way Harry’s hard cock felt against his stomach. He sighed in relief when he felt no throbbing and no searing pain like he had a few days ago.

“It feels just fine, love. No pain, I promise,” Louis responded, bringing his lips up to meet Harry’s.

“Good,” Harry breathed out kissing the tip of Louis’ nose. “Because I’m not even close to being done with you yet.” Harry smiled down at him, brushing Louis hair out of his face with delicate fingers, trailing them down the bridge of his nose and over his lips, the oil making the glide easier. 

Louis’ eyes fluttered closed as he let Harry trace over his cheekbones, nose and jaw. When his fingers came back to his lips once more, Louis opened his eyes and brought Harry’s middle finger into his warm mouth. He sucked on it, bringing the length of it all the way into his mouth tasting the warm oil on his tongue. He watched as Harry’s mouth fell open at the feeling, his cock throbbing where it lay between them. It was then that the idea struck him, and he sent up a silent prayer to whoever was listening that his head would hold out long enough to do what needed to be done. Come hell or high water this was happening. It just had to. It was the only way he knew how to connect with Harry, to rekindle the smouldering embers of their almost failed relationship, and set it alight once more. 

“I want you inside of me, Haz,” Louis blurted out, his eyes scanning Harry’s face, waiting for him to react or speak. Harry looked down at him, concern clearly written in his features and he sighed.

“I know you do, Lou, but, I don’t want to risk hurting you. I’d never forgive myself if I put you through any more pain. I don’t want you to be in pain because of me ever again.” Louis looked at Harry with pleading eyes, his lip beginning to wobble, tears forming in his eyes of their own volition. He promised himself in the car on the way to the airport that he wouldn’t get emotional, that we would enjoy tonight, enjoy reconnecting with Harry, but he just couldn’t help it. 

Louis’ chest felt tight, and his breath shuddered as he struggled to drag air into his lungs and calm his breathing. Tears began to fall freely, running from the corners of his eyes and down the side of his face to mingle with his hair, and he closed his eyes tightly not wanting to see the look of pity in Harry’s eyes. He was being stupid and selfish. Rationally he knew that they had to wait. That Harry loved him so much that he was willing to put his health before his own selfish needs, but Louis couldn’t wait. He needed this. He needed to reaffirm their love, to bring them both together, literally. To show Harry just how much he loved him in a way that words never could.

Harry rolled off of him then, laying on his side and gathered Louis up into his arms. Louis buried his face into Harry’s chest, letting his tears and sobs overcome him, the warm oil on Harry’s chest mingling with his tears. He didn’t care that he was crying, or that the warm oil was sticking to his hair or that Harry probably had snot on him now, all he could concentrate on was the feeling of Harry’s arm around him and the way Harry was running his fingers through his hair.

“Please don’t cry, Loubear. You know that I want this as much as you do. I want to give this to you. I want to be what you need, I-- I just don’t want to hurt you,” Harry whispered, placing soft kisses onto the top of Louis’ head. 

“I-- I kn-- know,” Louis choked out on a sob, lifting his head to look at Harry. Harry had tears in his eyes now, and he swallowed heavily waiting for Louis to continue. “But I n--need to sh--show you. I n--need to sh--show you h--how much you m--mean t--to me. It’s the o--only way I kn--know how, Haz. P--please, baby. P--please, l--let me sh--show you h--how much I l--love y--you.” Louis was openly sobbing again, and Harry could do little else than hold him and let him cry.

Louis could have sworn he felt Harry’s chest shudder a few times, and he took a few deep breaths, willing the sobs to subside so that he could look at Harry again. Harry had tears of his own streaming down his cheeks now, and Louis couldn’t help but push himself up, bringing their lips together. The kiss was slow and steady, yet filled with an unspoken sense of love and passion neither of them were able to voice out loud. Louis moved so that Harry was forced to lay on his back, the tables now turned, Louis’ much smaller body covering Harry’s in all the places that mattered the most, his small hands finding their way into Harry’s curls. 

“Please, please don’t cry, Hazza. I love you. More than any words can say or any actions can show, but please. Please, let me show you. Please, make love to me.” Louis was pleading with Harry now, appealing to his inability to say no to Louis. He had done it only once before and that had resulted in the lead up to the shitstorm they had gone through over the last few days, and Louis was in no hurry to repeat those mistakes, and neither was Harry. Harry sighed, gripping both sides of Louis’ face gently, searching his eyes for what, Louis didn’t know.

“Okay, baby. Okay. Just, please stop crying. I hate to see you this upset.” Louis didn’t wait for Harry to say anything else. He knew that if he gave him too long to dwell on it he would come to the rational conclusion that this was a terrible idea, and Louis would be back to square one. 

Louis brought his mouth down to Harry’s, his kiss firm, his tongue darting out to lick Harry’s lips and he granted him entrance without hesitation. Their tongues melded together, tasting, exploring. It was like they were making love for the first time. Like if they didn’t spend this time memorizing every inch of each other they would never have the opportunity to again. Harry brought both of his arms around Louis then, his large hands cradling Louis’ head, and pushed up off of the rug so that he could roll them, Louis now back on his back. 

“Are you sure about this, Lou?” Harry asked one more time, staring intently at Louis as if waiting for a flicker of doubt to cross his features. 

“I’m sure, Haz. Please, baby. I need you inside of me. Please, make love to me.” It was all the reassurance Harry needed, and his mouth and hands were back on Louis’ body.

It felt like Harry’s hands and mouth where everywhere at once. In his hair, on his chest, his nipples, his thighs, his ass. Louis couldn’t keep up with where the sensations were coming from, but he didn’t want to. He just kissed Harry back, trying to convey to him everything he felt. Every ounce of love he had being poured into him from where their lips were connected, tongues still exploring. 

Harry began to trail kisses down Louis’ neck then, his body gliding across the surface of Louis’ as he went, the oil making it easier for him. He stopped when he reached Louis’ collarbones, tracing each individual letter inked into his skin with the tip of his tongue. Louis was squirming beneath him now, his newly hardened cock leaking again as Harry took his time slowly devouring him piece by piece. It seemed Harry had decided to make love to Louis the same way he did most things: slowly, deliberately, with thought and kindness. It was almost enough to make Louis tear up again, but he held the tears at bay, concentrating on the way the fire was crackling beside them and the sound of his own panting breath filling the room. 

Harry continued his way down Louis’ body, his tongue dipping into his belly button as he passed, sending shockwaves straight to the pit of Louis’ stomach, desire pooling and unfurling with each touch, each kiss, each breath. Louis was a squirming ball of sensations, unable to focus his mind on any one particular feeling, letting his it go numb, allowing Harry fill every pore and crevice and tiny crack of his shattered heart. He was like a healing balm, that was slowly but surely soothing the years of hurt Louis had endured and the hands of others. Like a drug that he just couldn’t kick. Harry consumed his every thought, his every action. Nothing in his life happened without Harry now, and tonight was no different. All he could smell was Harry. All he could taste was Harry. All he could hear was Harry. All he could see was Harry. It was always Harry. It had been from the moment they had met and would continue to be until Louis’ dying breath. 

“Harry.... _ please! _ ” Louis whined as Harry kissed the tip of his cock and then moved further down his body, so that his face was now nestled between his legs.

“Open your legs, baby. I wanna see you,” Harry breathed out and Louis could feel it on his tight entrance when he spoke the words. 

Louis let his legs fall slowly further apart, and he swallowed hard in anticipation of what was to come. He heard it when Harry flipped open the cap on the bottle of lube he’d brought down from the mezzanine floor earlier. Louis didn't dare look, sure that he would come the second he laid eyes on Harry, looking obscene and completely fucked out between his parted legs. 

“Are you ready, baby?” Harry questioned and Louis hoped he could see him frantically nodding his agreement because he didn’t trust his voice in that moment. “Okay, baby. Okay,” Harry whispered against the inside of Louis’ right thigh, before he began trailing kisses up the inside of his leg. 

Using his free hand and the momentum of his body, Harry hoisted both of Louis’ legs over his shoulders before somewhat awkwardly positioning himself back onto his stomach, his mouth level with Louis’ entrance once more. Louis was beside himself with anticipation, the feeling of Harry’s warm breath on his exposed skin driving him wild. He was panting heavily and Harry, in all honesty, hadn’t even really touched him yet. He wasn’t going to be able to survive this, but he wasn’t about to ride Harry without any preparation either. It had been far too long since the last time they had done this for that even to be a remote possibility. Louis was so wrapped up in his own thoughts of maybe he should have tempted fate and done a little prep of his own before leaving for the airport, that when Harry’s tongue darted out, licking a fat strip up between his cheeks and over his hole, Louis slammed his legs closed on instinct. After realising what he had done, he quickly let his legs fall open again, rushing to apologise.

“Fuck, Haz, are you ok? I’m so sorry!” Harry merely chuckled before continuing to lick, kiss and suck at Louis’ most intimate spot again, a groan falling from Louis’ lips. 

“I’m more than ok, my love,” Harry drawled out against Louis thigh as he brought one lubed finger up to trace over Louis’ tight ring of muscle. Again, Louis’ legs tried to snap shut, but Harry placed his elbows on Louis knees, essentially keeping his legs apart. 

Louis felt wanton and dirty and yet completely safe and loved amongst the myriad of other thoughts, feelings and emotions swirling around inside of him. Soon, Harry had two fingers inside of him, Louis bucking his hips and grinding down on the long digits. He could feel it when Harry skimmed over his prostate, a fleeting touch that did nothing to relieve the orgasm that continued to unfurl and grow in the pit of his stomach. He felt like he may literally go insane, his breathing almost panicked, his body covered in a layer of sweat, his fringe plastered to his forehead with it, his hands fisted in Harry’s curls. He was probably pulling on Harry’s hair harder than was necessary, but Harry never complained once. 

Harry had thus far endured almost being knocked out by Louis’ knees as he’d slammed his legs shut, his head being squashed by his strong thighs again when Louis wasn't able to control himself and a long string of less than desirable swear words all aimed at Harry as he’d mercilessly worked his fingers and tongue in and out of Louis’ at a snail's pace. 

“God dammit Harry! Please, please I need a third. I need to feel full. I need you inside me, please, please, Harry…” Again, Harry chuckled. He had up until this point, other than sporting a raging hard on, remained completely unphased by what he was doing to Louis, and Louis wasn’t sure what was worse: the feeling of not being able to escape all of the sensations Harry was creating, the overwhelming urge to come or the frustration that Harry remained as cool as a cucumber. 

“You want a third baby, hmm? You need my cock inside you? Splitting you? Filling you with my come?” 

“Fuck, yes! Yes, Harry, yes. Oh please, please baby.” Without warning, Harry removed his digits, the loss momentary before he was slowly stretching Louis wide with three of his long fingers, his tongue joining them, and Louis was so close to coming he could taste it. Harry scissored his fingers for a few moments, crooking them, so that he brushed them against Louis’ prostate. He couldn’t help it when his back arched up off of the floor, the only things anchoring him in place were his shoulders and his arse. 

He no doubt looked like a man possessed, much like Harry was performing some kind of exorcism rather than using his fingers to stretch him open in preparation for his cock. Again, Harry never complained, or tried to stop him. He simply let what he was doing take over, let Louis’ body do what came naturally, never once easing up on his methodical ministrations. But enough was enough. Louis needed Harry’s cock inside of him, prepped and ready or not, and he wasn’t about to wait another second.

As the next shockwave wracked his body, he used the momentum to roll himself onto his front, Harry’s fingers slipping out of him with a wet pop. He felt empty, but it wouldn’t be for long. Harry knelt up in confusion, watching Louis, trying to gauge what his next move would be.

“Lou, are you ok? Was I hurting you?” He asked, his voice soft and gentle, full of concern and love. Louis moved himself, so that he was kneeling opposite him. 

“No, Haz. You weren’t hurting me. I just need you inside of me, and I can’t bare to wait another second. Please, baby. Let me ride you, please? Please, make love to me.” 

Harry didn’t say anything, he simply kissed Louis, his mouth firm and reassuring, before he moved into a sitting position, his long, toned legs stretched out in front of him. Louis placed his hands on Harry’s shoulders, bracing himself. Harry’s hands came to his hips to steady him as he straddled Harry. He could feel the tip of Harry’s leaking cock nudging between his cheeks as he stared at Harry, trying to memorize the way he looked at this exact moment, wanting to tattoo it onto his mind forever. He had never looked more beautiful than he did right in this moment, and Louis hoped he’d remember it as vidily in fifty years from now, when they were both old and grey, no doubt terrorizing the nurses in some far away nursing home, as he did right now. 

Louis’ could feel tears starting to form again as he swallowed the lump in his throat, Harry’s eyes also looking suspiciously glassy. He took a deep breath and used a hand to position the head of Harry's shaft at his entrance, then, after bringing their lips together once more, he began to sink slowly down onto Harry’s waiting cock. Both Louis and Harry’s groaned simultaneously as Louis’ ass touched Harry’s thighs, Louis’ hands coming up to tangle in Harry’s chocolate curls, using them as an anchoring point. Harry’s fingers were now digging into Louis’ hips, sure to leave bruises. 

Louis began to move his hips in figure eight motions at first, allowing his body to adjust to the feeling of finally having Harry buried inside of him. Harry had never stopped kissing him, his tongue slowly exploring his mouth, Louis’ doing the same to Harry. After a few moments, Louis began to grind his hips, lifting himself up and then slamming himself back down onto Harry, unable to stop himself. He didn’t have the self control to take it slow like Harry had, but Harry wasn’t trying to stop him, letting him dictate the pace, a rumbling growl coming from deep in his chest. Louis winced, unable to contain it as the force of it jolted him, his head feeling like it may explode. He had hoped this wouldn’t happen. Had prayed that his symptoms would be able to hold out long enough to see this through, but his body was having none of it. 

What had started out as a dull throb, barely noticeable amongst all of the other sensations, had now become a mind numbing migraine, but Louis couldn’t stop. He needed to keep going. He hoped Harry hadn’t noticed, hoped he had mistaken it as a sharp intake of breath at the pleasure of it all, but it seemed luck wasn’t on Louis’ side. Harry pulled away from Louis, gripping tighter still onto his hips to stop his motions and looked at him the with most serious expression Louis thought he’d ever seen. His chest was heaving, his breath coming in short, sharp pants, and he hoped that he was conveying to Harry just how much he needed to continue, hoped Harry knew why he needed to. 

“Louis. Are you in pain?” Louis nodded his head, his bottom lip coming between his teeth as it began to wobble. He was on the verge of tears again, and he wasn’t sure if he could hold them back much longer, which would do nothing for the throbbing ache in his head. He could see tears filling Harry’s eyes too, his breathing erratic, his lip trembling just like Louis’ was. When tears began to fall from Louis’ eyes, his vision now blurred, he slumped forwards, his forehead resting against Harry’s shoulder, a fresh wave of pain shooting through his head. 

“P--please don’t c--cry, my l--love,” Harry choked out, and Louis could feel it as his tears dripped down onto his shoulder. “I l--love you s--so much. You d--don’t h--have to do this f--for me to kn--know that.”

Louis continued to sob, scrunching his eyes closed trying to ignore the searing pain in his skull. He sat up and looked at Harry, after a few moments had passed, when neither of them had said anything.

“I know I d--don’t h--have to, Haz. But please. P--please, let me do this. P--please, let me make l--love to you. P--please, make love to me.” Harry searched Louis’ tear filled eyes, his hands once more on either side of Louis’ face. Louis wasn’t sure if he realised how tight a grip he had, but suddenly the pain seemed to lessen somewhat. 

“But Lou, what about y--your h--head?” Harry stuttered out, his sobs almost gone, his breathing somewhat back to normal. Louis swallowed hard, taking a long, slow breath, trying to remain calm enough to answer Harry’s question.

“I’ll be fine, my love. Can you-- can you just-- hold me? Please, just hold, me Haz.” 

Harry slowly began to nod his head as Louis’ hands came up around his neck, Harry’s arms coming around his body, holding him tightly. They were now chest to chest, noses almost touching. Louis’ arms were hanging limply behind Harry, Harry’s arms securing him like a vice, and Louis began to move. He moved himself up and down Harry’s shaft, almost painfully slow, their lips finding each other again, their kisses back to being soft and tender. 

Tears were silently cascading down both of their cheeks, the emotions of the past few days being expelled as they fell. Louis felt like he was finally home. The feelings of being lost, broken and alone, drifting away, leaving him feeling loved, happy, whole. Soon the only sensations he could process wer Harry’s lips on his own, the way his hard cock filled him, the drag of his body on Harry’s cock almost too much to handle. He could feel his orgasm building again, and he knew Harry was close when he brought one hand down to Louis’ neglected cock, stroking him in time with Louis’ hips, and yet he continued to hold him tightly, never letting go. 

“Oh fuck, fuck Haz, fuck that feels so good,” Louis found himself moaning into Harry’s ear as Harry used his thumb to rub over his slit. 

“I know baby, I know. You gonna come for me like this, hmm? Gonna come fucking yourself on my hard cock?” Harry’s words were like molten lava, causing the heat in Louis’ stomach to spread, his body beginning to grind down on Harry faster and faster, Harry’s hand keeping time.

“Yes, baby! Fuck! Fuck, yes!” Louis cried out as the tip of Harry’s cock nudged at his prostate, his body now feeling as though it was on fire. He was going to come soon, he could feel it, and he knew Harry was too by the way his thighs began to stiffen underneath him, the way his grip on his shaft had become tighter and by the way he now had a fistful of Louis’ hair. Louis didn’t care, he wanted Harry to come deep inside him, wanted to come hard on Harry’s chest, for it to mingle with the oil already covering his skin, painting a picture of their love for one another. Soon Louis began to lose pace, his movements erratic, Harry’s hand the same on his cock. It was sloppy and messy, fingers in hair, their spit mingling as they kissed passionately. 

“Come on, baby, come for me,” Harry growled into his ear when his hand had almost slowed to a complete stop, unable to concentrate on much else but his impending orgasm, just like Louis and as Louis’ ass met Harry’s thighs with a slap once more, they came together with a shout, both yelling each others names into the darkness.

 

…..

 

After Harry had cleaned them both up as best as he could, blowing out all of the candles and drenching the fire that was nothing more than glowing coals, he carried Louis up the spiral staircase to the mezzanine floor. He laid Louis down gently in bed, before he climbed in behind him, for once relinquishing his role as the little spoon. Louis honestly wasn’t too bothered by it, simply happy to be at home with Harry in his bed again, where he belonged. 

He should have been tired. He should have fallen asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow, but he couldn’t stop himself from tracing the tattoo he knew by heart on Harry’s thigh with his finger, listening as his breaths began to become more steady, more even. It had been the most perfect night of his life, and he knew nothing would ever be able to take that away from them.

It was just as Louis had forced himself to stop touching Harry, forced himself to stay awake to continue listening intently to Harry’s breathing, and was about to let sleep overtake him, that he heard Harry speak. It seemed to be a habit of his, if Louis was being honest, always finding one last thing to say just as Louis was about to drift off, expressing every random thought that entered his mind. He was completely endeared by it, of course, and he never once complained that it took him another half an hour to get settled again.

“Lou?” Harry said, as if gauging if Louis was still awake or not.

“Yes, love?” Louis replied and rolled over onto his side, so that he was facing Harry. Louis could barely make out his features in the dim early morning light, but he didn’t need light to really see Harry. Without missing a beat, and with the most serious tone Harry had probably ever mustered, he answered.

“I wanna go to the Zoo.” 

 


	24. Baby Hedgehogs, Secrets Revealed and Distant Cousins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis finally takes Harry to the Zoo, Louis speaks his truth and Harry plans for the future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Its been eighty four years...." I know, I know. I'm the worst uploader in the history of fanfiction. I've been struggling with confidence issues and almost threw in the towel and ended this fic on a whim, but thanks to the kind words and a tonne of encouragement from my dedicated beta and best friend Lena a new chapter is finally here. 
> 
> My state has also been facing some catastrophic bushfires over the last week so the fact that I was able to get this done and out is nothing short of a small miracle. 
> 
> I really hope its isn't too cliché and boring. And that the wait was worth it. Its taken a lot to get this chapter done so I hope you all enjoy it.
> 
> As always, thank you so, so, so much to Lena for talking me down from the ledge when I swore I would just end it because it all just seemed too hard. I can't thank you enough for continuing to encourage me to do this. Love you for always x
> 
> And also a massive thank you to everyone who has read, is reading or is following this fic. Also to anyone who has left a kind comment or kudos. You are all appreciated more than you know.
> 
> Until next time.
> 
> All the love
> 
>  
> 
> Z x

“Harold! You better get that fine ass of yours down here right now, or we are leaving without you!” Louis yelled, and Harry rolled his eyes, laughing as he adjusted his beanie in the mirror for the third time. He knew that Louis didn’t care what he was wearing, that he thought he was beautiful even with morning breath and birds nest hair, but this would be their first public outing since the incident at the karaoke bar and Harry’s split from Syco, so Harry wasn’t taking any chances. He was one thousand percent sure that they would end up with a gaggle of paparazzi following them at some point, which is why Mark and Rowan had insisted on joining them. It was also why he was insistent on looking his best.

“I’ll be right down!” Harry yelled back, grabbing his phone, wallet and camera from the dresser, slinging the camera around his neck, before heading out of their bedroom. He knew Louis was becoming agitated with him. He’d been harassing Louis to take him to the Zoo for weeks now. It had rained every day since the first time Harry had asked him to go, when they had been snuggled up together in bed on his first night back from his disastrous “meeting” in LA, and today was finally the day, only now, Harry was holding them all up. 

Harry scrambled down the stairs, shocked that he was able to make his long, gangly legs cooperate and move that quickly, without falling to his untimely death. He waved, saying a quick goodbye to Jay as he passed by the kitchen, barrelling down the remaining stairs loudly, sounding more and more like a fairy elephant as he went, before coming to an abrupt stop as he reached the hallway, all eyes on him. The rest of the group, Niall, Lottie, Dea, Tay, Mark and Rowan, had assembled in the hallway, all of them hiding a laugh behind a cough or a snicker behind their hands as Louis stood, hands on hips, tapping his foot with a less than amused expression on his face. It was all Harry could do not to rush forward and kiss him, but he refrained, sure that would only make matters worse.

“Well, well, well. Look what the cat dragged in,” Louis drawled out, his words dripping with sarcasm.

“ _ Heeeey _ , that’s not nice,” Harry whined. “I told you I would be right down, and I'm here,” he finished with a pout, folding his arms across his chest, just above where his camera was resting.

“You said you would be ‘right down’,” Louis said, using air quotation marks to emphasize his point, “four, ‘I’ll be right down’s’ ago, Harold. So. Now, that you have seen fit to grace us with your presence, can we go? It’ll be bloody midnight before we get to the Zoo at this rate.” Harry was trying so hard to take Louis seriously, he really was. Trying to keep a straight face, nodding along at all the right moments, with what he hoped was an appropriately shameful look on his face. But Louis looked so soft and cuddly in his sweater, complete with sweater paws, that he just couldn’t stop himself from laughing.

It was more of a giggle than a laugh if he was being perfectly honest. The kind of giggle he was used to hearing whenever he would pass by a group of fans camped out at a venue. He had turned into a sixteen year old. Brilliant. But only ever around Louis. He couldn’t help it. Louis made him weak at the knees just by being in the same room as him. He didn’t have to do anything or say anything, simply being there was enough. But by far the thing that had Harry a giggling, fond-faced mess the most, was whenever Louis was trying to be mad at him. 

“What!? What's so funny?” Louis asked, hands on hips, glare still firmly intact. This only made Harry giggle harder.

“N--nothing. Nothing I sw--swear,” Harry said, trying to calm his breathing and be serious, but the more Louis glared, the worse Harry’s giggles became. They really were going to get there at midnight if he didn’t get himself together.

“Bullshit! Come on, Styles, spit it out. A new concept for you, I know, but get on with it, so we can go.” Louis was being deadly serious, not even a hint of humour in his voice.That was enough to snap Harry out of his fit of the giggles, his eyes wide, mouth hanging open in shock, and enough to have the rest of the group howling in laughter. It really was going to be one of those days. Harry wouldn’t have had it any other way, though. This was how it was supposed to be, the way they had all been before that awful night, and he was glad that they had all finally gotten back to that place. All that was missing was Liam and Zayn, who were somewhere in Europe taking the festival stages by storm.

Louis looked like he was about ready to tear his hair out, completely and utterly done with the lot of them already. Probably more specifically Harry, and they hadn’t even left the house yet. Louis, no doubt, felt like he was organising an outing with six toddlers, and at that moment Harry could admit, they were acting no different. 

“I’ve never had any complaints before,” Harry said, recovering after a few seconds, attempting to wink at Louis. He watched as a reluctant smile and a hint of a blush crept over Louis’ cheeks, now only a small rectangular bandage covering the worst of his injuries, that Harry was yet to see properly. “And,” he continued, “I was laughing because it is so hard to take you seriously when you look like a baby hedgehog wearing a sweater.” 

Stunned silence followed Harry’s words for what felt like minutes, but in reality it was only a few seconds, before Louis was yelling, and the rest of the group were falling over themselves laughing again.

“A what!? I am not a baby hedgehog!” Louis yelled. Harry could do nothing but laugh as Louis ranted and raved about being ‘manly’, ‘big’ and, Harry's personal favourite,‘hedgehogs don’t have fucking facial hair, Harold!’. That would have been a valid point had Louis not decided to shave the night before, much to Harry’s disgust, complaining that his scruff was giving him a rash. Now he looked like a baby faced  teenager again, but Harry wasn’t about to point that out to him. Louis rolled up the sleeves of his sweater then, so that his tattoos were showing, standing up to his full height, which in all honesty didn’t make much difference, and did all other manner of things that proved he was everything but a baby hedgehog and in fact an incredibly manly man. 

“A baby hedgehog!” Niall exclaimed then, followed by more laughter. “He’s right. I’ve seen those pictures on Twitter; that’s why he said that!” And Niall was right, of course. Harry had seen countless tweets on Twitter comparing Louis to ridiculously adorable, tiny hedgehogs, and he had to agree. The similarities were scary. How Louis hadn’t come across any yet, however, was still a mystery.

Harry was struggling to breathe, contemplating going back upstairs and getting his inhaler if this was how the rest of the day was going to be. He had tears streaming down his face, his hands on his knees using them to hold himself up, nearly being knocked over by Niall, who at this point was stumbling about as though he was drunk, holding his stomach as he laughed. The girls were in no better shape, using each other to stay upright, Mark and Rowan chuckling quietly, shaking their heads at all of them, watching the scene unfold. 

“When you are all fucking finished,” Louis said, shooting them all death glares clearly unimpressed at being the butt of Harry’s joke, although Harry hadn’t been joking. It didn’t last long though, and, soon, he was laughing along with them. 

Harry moved closer to him slowly, much like approaching a wild animal, gathering his smaller frame up in his arms and brought his lips down to meet Louis’. He kissed him gently, their lips barely touching, before he pulled back resting his forehead against Louis’.

“I love you,” Harry said, placing a kiss on Louis’ forehead then again as Louis snuggled into his chest.

“Love you too, babe,” Louis replied with a reluctant sigh, looking up at him from under his long, long lashes, and offered Harry a smile that he reserved only for him.

“Can we go to the Zoo now?” Harry asked, and Louis simply rolled his eyes at him, beyond exasperated now. Harry just smiled back at him, both dimples on show and he could see the moment that all the impatience and frustration left Louis’ body.

Harry was so grateful that they had managed to work through their problems, for the most part, arriving at a place that, in many ways, was better than where they had been before. They seemed closer, more in tune with each other, and Harry felt like the luckiest man in the world. But that was nothing new. He always felt like the luckiest man in the world around Louis.

“Right you lot,” Louis addressed the group then, moving out of Harry’s hold, clapping his hands to get the their attention. “Let's get this shit show on the road. The Pop Sensation wants to go to the Zoo!” He yelled and began dragging Harry by the hand towards the front door. Soon the others and their laughter followed, and Harry couldn’t shake the idiotic smile from his face. 

Today was going to be a good day. 

****

……

****

“But, Mark, I want to go on the train! I finally have some time off, and I want to spend it doing  _ normal _ things, like a  _ normal _ person,” Harry whined, contemplating stamping his foot for emphasis. So maybe he was acting like a two year old, but he didn’t care. He may be a celebrity, but when he was with Louis and his friends, he wanted to be Harry. Just, Harry.

“I’m sorry, Harry. It’s just too dangerous right now, especially after what happened to Louis. Tay assures me that a lot of people are still on the fence about what happened, and given that you haven’t made a formal statement announcing your departure from, Syco, I feel it’s best if we go in the car. Rowan and I can keep  _ all of you _ safe that way. Your security is our top priority, you know this.” And of course, Mark was right. Harry didn’t want him to be right, but he was. 

They were still standing in the driveway, another ten minutes having passed arguing over their mode of transport, since Louis had announced that they were leaving. Harry didn't want to be that person. To be the one that ruined the day for everyone else. He just hated that because of who he was, he wasn’t able to do normal things that most people took for granted every single day of their lives. Hated that he couldn’t do things without security guards and a minute by minute breakdown of what they were doing and where they were going. Without having to have the constant thought of who will see us? Will we be mobbed by fans? Which bullshit story are they going to spin this time? Floating around in the back of his mind. 

“Haz, look at me,” Louis said, obviously sensing that he was becoming upset, squeezing Harry’s hand that he was holding to get his attention. Harry looked at him, and he felt like an idiot, knowing that his eyes were shining with unshed tears. It just felt so stupid and ridiculously unfair. Louis gave him a small smile, his sapphire eyes sparkling in the early morning light, and the sight of him almost took Harry’s breath away.

“It doesn’t matter how we get there, love,” Louis began, taking Harry’s other hand in his, gripping both of them tightly, running his thumb over Harry’s knuckles gently. “All that matters is that we go together, yeah? You, me and our friends. All that matters is that we go together, create some new, exciting memories and have a great time. We will probably end up with some free high definition pictures of the day if we play our cards right.” Harry choked out a watery laugh, knowing exactly what Louis was talking about. “I know that you want to just be, Harry, love,” Louis continued, and Harry looked down at their joined hands, focusing on Louis’ words and the way his thumbs were moving over his skin, “and do things that all of us can do without thinking, but not right now, ok? Not until this shit blows over, but just remember, you are always ‘just, Harry’ to us.” 

Harry looked up then, Louis’ eyes shining with an emotion Harry couldn’t quite place, it looked almost like guilt and a silent tear trickled down Harry’s cheek. He nodded his head, knowing that everything Louis had just said was the truth. That to Louis and his friends he was, ‘just, Harry’. He always would be, and as long as they were together that was all that mattered.

“Okay. Mark is right. You are both right. Let's take the car,” Harry finally said, his words punctuated by a few calming breaths, and Louis kissed the knuckles of his hands that were still gripped tightly in his smaller ones.

“Smile, love, ok? We will get through this. The City Loop and Melbourne Zoo aren’t going anywhere in a hurry. Next time, we can take the train, yeah?” Harry nodded, trying to smile and not bring the mood of the entire group down as they all piled into Mark’s brand new Escalade. It was really Harry’s Escalade, but no one needed to know that he had purchased a top of the line, eight passenger Escalade for Mark to drive while they were in Australia. Safety first and all that. It also came in handy when they all had to travel together as a group, and Harry gave himself a mental pat on the back for having opted to purchase the eight seater model. 

As had become the norm for Harry and Louis whenever they travelled together as a group, they clambered into the very back seats. Louis sat on Harry’s right, Tay on Harry’s left. Dea, Lottie and Niall making up the rest of the group in the seats behind Mark and Rowan. Their group had changed so much and had come so far from that very first day that Harry had met them all, yet it felt like nothing had changed at all. There was an easy familiarness between them all, everyone laughing and joking amongst themselves, telling stories and sharing their life experiences. It was everything Harry had lost after his music career had begun. He still had this easy friendship with a few people that he had called his friends beforehand, and even a few that he had met since then, but nothing compared to what he had with the people surrounding him now, Louis especially.

It suddenly dawned on Harry, as he mulled all of this over in his head, that he had barely spoken to Claire, Sarah, Adam and Mitch, since that last night of tour back in April. He had called them a few times, even skyping with Adam for his daughters birthday, and then again when he had finally freed himself from Syco, but nothing in the realm of the time he spent with the others. He felt almost guilty, feeling as though he had abandoned them and vowed to make more of an effort to try and keep in contact with them. But they had all moved on to other projects in the weeks following Harry’s, Syco departure, so time was now scarce for all of them. Hopefully they could find a spare few minutes somewhere to keep in touch, and not end up old acquaintances who did that amazing tour that one time. 

They had been travelling for almost twenty minutes before Harry realised that the scenery around him had changed from the familiar hustle and bustle of Frankston, to the open expanse of freeway that would take them into the city, the roadsides lined with odd sculptures and solar powered kinetic trees every few kilometers down the road. It was then that Niall had, in Harry's opinion, one of his best ideas to date. 

“Has everyone seen that Carpool Karaoke that James Corden does on The Late Late Show?” He asked the group at large, turning slightly in his seat to face everyone. Harry smiled shyly knowing that no one but Louis and Tay could see him. No one knew, besides Tay, naturally, but James was a good friend of his and had been since early on in his career. He’d been trying for years to get Harry to do an episode of Carpool Karaoke with him. Harry, however, had refused every invitation.

“Umm-- yeah, he’s been trying to get me to do it for years actually,” Harry said sheepishly, Louis and Tay simultaneously patting each of his legs in a comforting gesture. He always hated throwing his celebrity status in their faces, but he never ever tired of Niall’s reaction. It was almost as if he forgot just how ‘famous’ Harry actually was until he said things like that, and to be honest, he forgot too when he was around all of them. It was a nice change. It was nice to feel normal. 

“What!? Are you serious!?” Niall exclaimed, in the typically loud and boisterous way that was just so... Niall. 

“Yes, I’m serious,” Harry said through a laugh. God, he loved Niall sometimes, he never failed to make Harry smile or laugh. “James is a good friend of mine, has been since early on in my career actually.”

“And why the fuck have you not said yes to being on Carpool Karaoke!?” And yep, he was yelling again. “Carpool Karaoke is only the best thing that has ever happened to humankind!” 

“Humankind? It is mankind, no?” Dea asked, her brows drawn in confusion and Harry couldn’t help but smile fondly at her.

“Well yes, but we are not sexist in this vehicle. That, however, is besides the point Dea, Carpool Karaoke is the  _ single _ best thing to happen since sliced bread!”

“That may be a slight exaggeration, Niall,” Harry replied, a dimple filled grin now firmly on his face. The rest of group sporting similar smiles.

“Exaggeration my ass!” Niall continued and everyone laughed, shaking their heads at him. “If you won’t do it for real, then guess what boyo? We are bloody well doing it now.” Harry didn’t miss the glint of childlike excitement in Niall’s eyes, his face lighting up like a small child on Christmas morning. “Tommo! Get the camera ready,” he continued, “this needs to be filmed, and I’m unable to fulfill me amazing videographer duties as this is me moment in the spotlight.” 

And there it was. Number nine-hundred and seventeen on the ever growing list of reasons why Harry loved and valued Niall so much as a friend. He never took life too seriously, always out to have the best time possible, and it would be forever treasured in a vivid video montage. Harry felt suddenly very emotional, and swallowed back a lump in his throat that he covered with a strategic cough. These were his people and today would be spent treasuring every single moment that he got to spend with them.

“Right, Nialler, you're on,” Harry said then, and Niall erupted into a loud cheer.

“Tommo, you got that camera ready?”

“Ready when you are, lad,” Louis replied and he gave Harry a fond smile. This was what life should be like. Full of love, laughter and friendship. All traces of heartache and misery now forgotten. 

A silence fell over the car then, everyone waiting patiently for what Niall had planned next, nothing but the sound of the tyres on the road filling their ears. Suddenly Harry’s pocket began to vibrate, and he struggled in the confines of the tight backseat to free his phone from his jeans. He let out a loud honk of laughter when he realised who it was that was calling him, a very drunken, half naked picture of Niall from the tour after party filling the screen. Harry nudged Louis to get his attention and he began filming, focusing in on Harry’s phone screen before Harry pressed the green button to connect the call.

“Hello, Harry speaking,” Harry said, in what he hoped was a very professional tone.

“Hey man, hey mate, it's me,” Niall began in a very Irish sounding version of what Harry assumed was supposed to be James Corden’s voice, the sentence echoing as he heard it both in the car and through his phone. “Listen, I am in a real bind traffic wise, I know you’re in town. Is there any way, you’d just be able to help me get to work?”

Harry was trying so hard not to burst out laughing again, the entire group looking as though they were having as much trouble as he was, their smiles growing bigger the more Niall spoke, but he took a breath and played along, letting Niall live his best Carpool Karaoke life.

“Of course I can help you get to work,” Harry said, and waited for Niall to finish his clearly memorised speech.

“Ugh, are you serious?” Niall moaned out, as if Harry had helped him out of the biggest bind of his entire lifetime.

“Yes, I’m serious.”

“Alright, yeah, alright I’ll see you in two minutes,” Niall finished before ending the call and dropping his phone dramatically into his cup holder with a relieved sigh. 

Louis stopped the video then, his phone beeping to indicate the recording was over and the entire car erupted into cheers and laughter.

“That was so fucking sick!” Louis was yelling from beside Harry, and he had to agree. Niall had pulled it off perfectly.

“You are idiots. How do you put up with them?” Tay was asking Dea, and she just shook her head laughing, an appropriate response, Harry thought, when it came to describing their group dynamic.

“So, what song are we going to sing, Niall?” Harry asked then, keen to find out how much of an ass he was about to make of himself. Not that he couldn’t hold a tune or anything, because well, without blowing his own trumpet, tunes where what he did best. But being a professional singer didn’t mean that he knew the lyrics by heart to every song ever written.

“Well, I was thinking that we do one as a group, one with just us lads, and then you can do one on your own. How does that sound?”

“Sounds perfect,” Harry replied, and it really did sound perfect. “Ladies will you be serenading us with Whitney again?” Harry asked and he was met by a chorus of ‘God no!’s’ and laughter.

“So gang,” Niall began again, he was a man on a mission at this point. “What song are we going to sing? And not a shite one. This has to be  _ Iconic _ !” Niall said, making a weird gesture with his fingers as he got to the last word to emphasise just how important the song choice was.

“I know!” Lottie chimed in then.

“Yes, me precious love. Hit me,” Niall said, leaning his elbow on their shared armrest, cradling his chin in his hand, staring at Lottie as though she had hung the moon.

“You’re the worst,” Lottie said, laughter in her voice as she shoved at Nialls arm. “Hey Ya! By Outkast. That’s what we should sing,” she said, and without warning Niall grabbed her face in both hands, giving her a loud, wet kiss before quickly releasing her again.

“Ewww, Niall! What is wrong with you!?” Lottie was yelling, trying to wipe the excess spit off of her face with the sleeve of her jacket. “You better not have ruined my makeup! This took me hours!” Niall simply laughed at her, prompting all traces of annoyance to fall quickly from her face, and she tried to cover a fond smile.

“You are just simply a spectacularly intelligent woman, and I was so overcome by it that I couldn’t control myself. My apologies,” Niall prattled. Harry felt as though his face may split if he laughed anymore today, but there seemed to be no end to it in sight. 

“Yeah, yeah,” Lottie said, waving her hand around in a dismissive gesture. “Just get on with it, or we’ll be at the Zoo before we even get one song sung.”

“Right, ok.” Niall hurried to find the song on his phone, pulling up the track then handed his phone over to Rowan. “If you would be so kind as to press play on Tommo’s count maestro, that would be grand.” Rowan nodded and heaved a heavy sigh. Yes, they had all reverted to silly sixteen year olds, and Harry figured he should probably add ‘Nanny’ to both Rowan and Mark’s list of qualifications. 

“Right, Ro, on the count of three, lad,” Louis said, and Rowan gave him a silent thumbs up signalling he had heard him. “Ready? One, two, three, go.” At Louis’ count Rowan pressed play and without missing a beat Harry started them off, the rest of the group following suit, harmonising surprisingly well given that the girls were self proclaimed terrible singers. 

“One, two three, ugh!”

**_My baby don't mess around_ **

**_Because she loves me so_ **

**_This I know fo sho!_ **

At the end of the first section, Harry lead the group in dramatic claps that accompanied the beat of the music, everyone keeping time. If they were doing this, then they weren’t going to give a half assed performance. He was, if nothing else, a natural born performer.

**_But does she really wanna_ **

**_But can't stand to see me walk out the door_ **

This time the group clapped with more gusto, all of them relaxing and letting the moment wash over them.

**_Don't try to fight the feeling_ **

**_Because the thought alone is killin' me right now_ **

Harry noted even Louis seemed to be enjoying himself, clapping against his thigh one handed, his phone gripped tightly in the other continuing to film the rest of them.

**_Thank God for Mom and Dad_ **

**_For sticking to together_ **

**_Like we don't know how_ **

Again the whole group clapped in time, and Harry could have sworn that even Rowan joined in this go around.

**_Hey ya! Hey ya!_ **

**_Hey ya! Hey ya!_ **

**_Hey ya! Hey ya!_ **

**_Hey ya! Hey ya!_ **

Harry was stunned into silence as the chorus ended, letting the rest of the group continue on without him. The harmonies they were producing were incredible, especially between himself, Louis and Niall. It had happened on the other occasions that they had sung together, and it only cemented more in Harry’s mind that they sounded incredible together, his long forgotten plan now swimming back to the forefront of his mind. 

They finished out the song, Louis dutifully filming the entire thing at Niall’s behest. And Harry found that he didn’t mind. He realised that he wasn’t afraid of Niall posting them all to Twitter, which he knew he would later when they were all back at home. He wanted his fans and the public to see him like this. To see him letting loose and having fun, he was also intrigued to see James’ reaction to the whole thing. 

“Did you get it all, Tommo?” Niall asked, and Louis simply nodded, with Harry’s favourite crinkly eyed smile on his face.

“Right then, what song are we singing lads?” Niall asked and there was a few moments of silence, none of them quite knowing what to sing. Harry was watching Niall closely, and he saw it when the song popped into his head, his eyes lighting up with it. “Do you boys know Stand By Me?” He asked.

“‘Course,” both Harry and Louis said in unison, and Niall almost swooned. 

“Ugh! I love it when my dads do that cute couple shit,” Niall squeaked out, and again, the car was filled with laughter. Harry really should have brought his inhaler.

“Get on with it, Niall, we don’t have all bloody day,” Louis chimed in then, and Niall scrambled to find the track, once again handing his phone over to Rowan. Again, Louis counted them in and the track began, only this time it was only the backing track, Niall taking over, both Harry and Louis joining in as best as they could at the chorus and with harmonies.

**_Your way too beautiful girl_ **

**_That's why it'll never work_ **

**_You'll have me suicidal, suicidal_ **

**_When you say it's over_ **

Harry and Louis looked at each other with identical shocked expressions, trying to keep up with Niall’s train of thought, having started off with Sean Kingston’s, Beautiful Girls, instead of Stand By Me. Harry had to admit though, that once the momentary shock had worn off, and they fell into an easy rhythm, their voices blended together perfectly. They really did sound amazing. Halfway through the first round of the chorus, Niall jumped to a few different verses blending them together.

**_It was back in '99_ **

**_Watching movies all the time_ **

**_Oh when I went away_ **

**_For doing my first crime_ **

**_And I never thought_ **

**_That we was gonna see each other (see each other)_ **

 

**_See it's very divine, girl_ **

**_You're one of a kind_ **

**_But you mush up my mind_ **

**_You ought to get declined_ **

**_Oh Lord_ **

**_My baby is driving me crazy_ **

 

Just when Harry thought that they had found their rhythm, slotting into a perfect pocket of vocal harmony, Niall switched it up, going straight to the chorus of Stand By Me, adding his own little flare, instead of the chorus of Beautiful Girls like Harry thought he was going to.

**_Whenever you’re in trouble_ **

**_Won’t you stand, by me_ **

 

“Get in, Niall!” Louis was yelling, totally forgetting all about his recording and the fact that he was supposed to be singing too, but Niall was undeterred.

 

**_Oh stand, by me_ **

**_Oh, stand, oh won’t you stand_ **

**_(stand by me) Stand by me_ **

**_(stand by me) Stand by me_ **

 

When Niall stopped singing, Rowan took that as his cue to stop the music, everyone cheering, wolf whistling and clapping Niall on the back. He really did have a way with music; Harry could see it in his eyes and his smile. It came from a genuine place in Niall’s heart, and Harry had the sudden urge to ask Mark to take them to the nearest recording studio, because a gift that special just had to be shared.

“Niall! That was amazing! How is it that you are playing small venues for pittance and not selling out Croke Park?” Harry said, still in awe of his friend. He knew talent when he seen it, pure talent that couldn’t be taught, that had to come from a place deep inside of you that you were simply born with. That was the kind of talent that Niall had. 

“It doesn’t bother me, H. I don’t care where it is that I play, or how many people turn up. All I care about is the music. Kinda wish I’d brought me guitar now, though.” Harry didn’t have an answer for that, but he didn’t miss the way that Niall’s eyes had misted over at the implication that he could sell out Croke Park. Harry knew what Niall meant. It wasn’t about the big crowds, million dollar mansions, selling out venues or how famous you became. All of that was an added bonus in Harry’s eyes. All that really mattered was the love of the music, the passion behind it, the release it gave him to get his thoughts and feelings down on paper and the process of transforming them into a song. 

In saying that, in fear of sounding like a hypocrite, the only other thing in the world that could compare to that feeling was to hear thousands of adoring fans, singing the lyrics back to you. To see that people were as passionate and in love with your songs and your music as you were. To Harry, that was the epitome of what it was to be a singer and a performer. To use your talent and your gift to touch people, to inspire, to relate, and to bring people from all walks of life together. To give people an out. To give them something to cling onto when they felt like there just wasn’t anything left for them. 

That was what mattered. Not mini bars full of alcohol, not expensive sports cars, not elaborately decorated hotel rooms that all seemed to look the same after you had been in the first two or three. Not how many tattoos he could squeeze onto his body, because money just wasn’t something he had to worry about anymore. Not flying all over the world in private planes, not endless bottles champagne after a great show. None of that mattered. All that mattered was that you made a difference in someone’s life, and Harry believed strongly that Niall could achieve that with his music, with the right help. Again, Harry couldn’t shake the nagging feeling that he had to somehow bring his plan to fruition. He just wasn’t sure how he was going to broach the subject with the boys without them laughing in his face. He decided then to hold onto his idea, his dream, for a little while longer until he found a way to convince them that this wasn’t the worst idea known to man. 

“So, now it’s the moment we have all been waiting for. The one and only Harry Styles, ladies and gentlemen,” Louis said then in his best game show host voice. Harry was suddenly very embarrassed, and he could feel his cheeks heating up as everyone looked at him with identical looks of awe and admiration. 

“So what’s it gonna be then, H? What song are ya singing?” Niall asked when Harry didn’t say anything after Louis’ introduction.

“Umm, I’m not sure. I don’t really want to sing one of my own.” The car fell into silence again as Harry mentally thumbed through the thousands of songs that he knew. It was as Louis began to draw lazy circles on the inside of his thigh with his thumb that it came to him. The perfect song. He’d sung it a few times, never in a professional setting, and he hoped he could do it the justice it deserved. He pondered it for a few more seconds, deciding to throw caution to the wind, praying that Louis wouldn’t hate him for his song choice. “I think I’ll give, Hello, a crack.”

Louis looked at him with wide, almost fearful eyes, the motions of his thumb stopping abruptly and Harry thought he could almost hear his heart beating frantically in his chest. “Hello, as in, Adele?” Louis asked, his voice shaky, sweat forming on his brow now. Harry nodded his head, giving him what he hoped was a reassuring smile, and he knew he was making his ‘frog’ face. At least, that’s what Louis called it anyway. 

“Yes, Lou. Hello, as in, Adele. Is that ok?” Harry said softly, taking Louis’ free hand into his own larger one, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

“Oh, umm-- yeah. Yeah, I’d really like that,” Louis finally said, and Harry kissed him gently, resting their foreheads together for a few seconds. It was then that Niall chose to cough, effectively pulling Harry and Louis out of their private moment, and Harry had the decency to blush. 

“So, Hello, by Adele?” Niall asked looking between the pair of them, confusion written clearly on his face. Harry nodded his agreement, Niall smiling fondly back at him, and he didn’t miss the way the girls looked almost giddy at the prospect of hearing Harry sing arguably Adele’s biggest hit. “Righto, H. On three,” Niall continued then, and seconds later the beginning notes of Louis’ biggest success story to date, began to fill the car.

Harry took a deep breath, looking to Louis before the first line began, but his eyes were cast downwards, his shoulders slumped, his body turned in on itself. Harry felt suddenly conflicted. Should he continue with this? He was clearly upsetting Louis, but he needed Louis to see just how successful he was. That he deserved all of the recognition due to him. That he was worth all of it. That he was special, and his writing was incredible. Louis needed to know all of these things, and Harry was going to be the one to show him. One more deep breath, and Harry began, his voice like rumbling thunder as he started off in his lower register.

**_Hello, it's me_ **

**_I was wondering if after all these years you'd like to meet_ **

**_To go over everything_ **

**_They say that time's supposed to heal ya_ **

**_But I ain't done much healing_ **

 

**_Hello, can you hear me?_ **

**_I'm in California dreaming about who we used to be_ **

**_When we were younger and free_ **

**_I've forgotten how it felt before the world fell at our feet_ **

Niall had thankfully had the presence of mind to snatch up Louis’ phone and begin recording as Harry had begun singing, sensing that Louis wasn’t up to playing along at this point. Harry however continued on, needing Louis to hear the words he had written, sung back to him. Maybe if they came from Harry’s mouth he would finally believe that he was good enough. That he was worth all of the praised and accolades due to him. 

 

**_There’s such a difference between us_ **

**_And a million miles_ **

 

**_Hello from the other side_ **

**_I must have called a thousand times_ **

**_To tell you I'm sorry for everything that I've done_ **

**_But when I call you never seem to be home=_ **

Harry almost stumbled over his words when, without warning, Louis began signing along with him. He began harmonizing with him at the bridge, continuing into the chorus, his angelic voice mingling with Harry’s deeper timber. Surely this was what the entry to heaven sounded like? Harry was convinced. He had never heard a more magnificent sound in his entire life. It was all consuming, causing goosebumps to appear all over his skin.

**_Hello from the outside_ **

**_At least I can say that I've tried_ **

**_To tell you I’m sorry for breaking your heart_ **

**_But it dont matter it clearly doesn't tear you apart anymore_ **

At the second section of the chorus, as they both belted out the lyrics, tears began to trail down Harry’s cheeks, shockwaves shooting up his spine the more confident Louis’ voice became. Harry had his eyes closed, letting the music and Louis’ voice fill every fibre of his being, too afraid to look at Louis and have him stop singing along with him. Harry needed him to hear just how amazing his song was. 

To be fair Adele had written on it too, but Harry could bet that Louis had been the main mastermind behind it. The words screamed Louis, Ben and their failed relationship. This thought only made the tears fall faster down Harry’s cheeks as what they truly meant sunk in. The realisation that Louis had clearly spent countless days and nights trying to call Ben, trying to apologise for something that wasn’t his fault. Something that he shouldn’t have been apologising for in the first place. That it had torn him apart trying to wrap his head around what he had done wrong. Only for Ben to point blank ignore him and pretend like Louis never existed. It was breaking Harry’s heart and as the emotion of it all became too much, his voice broke and faltered, and he stopped singing all together somewhere around the middle of the second verse.

To Harry’s extreme surprise, however, Louis continued on, Niall picking up where Harry had left off, filling in the gaps now harmonising with Louis, letting him take the lead. Harry slowly opened his eyes, turning his head slowly to look at Louis, as both his and Niall’s voices continued to wrap him up in a blanket of tragic beauty. Louis had his eyes tightly shut, a look of utter heartbreak and despair on his face, tears staining his soft cheeks. Harry wanted so much to reach out and wipe them away, to kiss away all of the hurt that Louis was feeling, but he didn’t. He sat in stunned silence, letting Louis finish, letting Louis have his moment. A moment he so desperately deserved. 

When the song came to a close, Rowan, bless him, cut the music and everyone sat in silence, no one brave enough to speak, no one brave enough to ruin the moment. It was then, as Harry looked to everyone in turn, that he noticed that there was not a dry eye in the car. The girls and even Niall sobbing quietly. He hadn’t intended for it to be a heartbreaking moment. He had wanted the opposite, if he was being honest. He simply wanted to let Louis see just how amazing he was. That he didn’t have to hide in the background anymore. That he was beautiful and brilliant and worth every single cent that he had made from that song. 

“Well,” Louis began, coughing slightly to clear his throat, roughly wiping away his tears with his sleeve. “That was, uh-- that was intense, Harold.” Harry felt embarrassed by Louis’ comment, not having intended on it being such an emotional moment. He had counted on everyone to join in and make a fanfare of it, sure that not one person in the car wasn’t familiar with the words or the song. Instead he had made everyone cry and gained a little more insight into Louis’ mind. A little more insight into how he operated, and why he was always so doubtful of his and Harry’s relationship. It made sense now. Like all the pieces were finally slotting together for Harry, and he knew that the only way to save Louis from his own thoughts and insecurities was to remind him every day of just how much he loved him. Not that he shouldn’t be reminded anyway. 

“I’m-- I’m sorry guys. I didn't mean to make everyone cry. I-- I just love that song so much,” Harry rambled out, stumbling over his words slightly. 

“Don’t apologise, Harry,” Tay said then, “it was beautiful. You sang it beautifully, and that song makes everyone cry, so don’t blame yourself.” Harry gave her a small smile, before turning back to look at Louis. He hoped that Louis could see it in his eyes just how proud he was of him.

“I played that song on repeat for weeks when it first came out,” Lottie started, and Harry continued to watch Louis’ face. Watching to see his reaction to all of the praise he was receiving. His own sister looked as though she wasn’t aware that her brother had been party to writing the song. Harry would honestly believe that though. No one had set foot in Louis’ studio besides his clients until Harry had showed up, and he was sure that he was the only person on the planet besides Adele, and those involved with production of the album, that knew this information. Afterall, they had all been in his studio many times, but no one had paid much attention to the giant framed single hanging on the wall. “It’s honestly such a beautiful song. Why anyone wouldn’t cry when they hear that song is beyond me.” 

“Did you know that Hello, went Diamond in Canada?” Tay said with a look of pure awe on her face, and Harry could feel his chest tightening, an overwhelming feeling of pride consuming him as he listened to their friends praise the one thing in the world that Louis was the most proud of, whether he would admit that fact or not. 

“Yeah, actually, I did.” Harry’s head whipped to the side, his eyes wide with shock as he realised it was Louis who had spoken. Harry took both of Louis’ hands in his own then, his eyes pleading, imploring Louis to tell them. To tell them that it was him. That he, for the most part, had written the song. That without him the world wouldn’t have this song. That the world would be deprived of such a masterpiece. He gave Louis’ hands a gentle squeeze then, and Louis gave him a look Harry didn’t recognise. One he had never seen on Louis’ face before. Harry decided to take matters into his own hands then, hoping that what he was about to do was what Louis had been trying to convey to him.

“He knows it went Diamond in Canada, because he fucking wrote it.” Louis smiled at Harry, his favourite crinkly-eyed smile. Harry slumped back into his seat in relief, while the rest of the car sat in stunned silence, all of them staring at the pair of them with their mouths agape. The silence was almost deafening, and Harry could have sworn he felt the car swerve slightly at his words, almost as if Mark was as shocked by what he was hearing as the rest of their friends were. 

“Excuse me? Did you just say  _ Louis _ , my  _ brother _ , wrote that song? You’re out of your natural mind, Harry Styles,” Lottie said, clearly unable to believe what Harry was telling her. 

“He’s not gone bonkers, Lots. I did write it. Well, not on my own. I mean Adele helped, obviously, but for the most part, yes, I wrote, Hello.” Louis’ voice was small, yet steady as he looked to his sister. She looked like a deer caught in headlights, her eyes as wide as saucers, her mouth opening and closing with no words ever leaving it. Harry wasn’t sure if he should say anything, or just stay quiet and let Louis say what he needed too, but it wasn’t long before his decision was made for him.

It was after Louis had confirmed that, yes, he, in fact, had a hand in writing the chart topping hit that the rest of the gang seemed to come to their senses and questions were soon being hurled at Louis at light speed. Everyone yelling and screaming questions over the top of the others. It was a lot, but Harry couldn’t have been prouder of Louis in that moment if he’d tried. 

“Alright, alright, one at a time, one at a time. Do I have to get out me spirit stick? Hmm?” Niall said, shooting the collective group a glare, intervening on Louis’ behalf and that resulted in a chorus of laughter. “If you want to ask Tommo a question, Lord knows we’ve got many, raise your hand. We are all civilised adults here, well, mostly,” Niall continued winking at Louis and soon a bright, sunny smile was firmly fixed on Louis’ face again. 

“You up for answering some questions, love?” Harry asked Louis then, placing a kiss onto his temple. His first priority was Louis and his happiness, and he wasn’t going to let anyone or anything ruin their day. 

“‘Course, love. I’m fine. Just not used to the spotlight is all.” It was true. Other than the few times that they had been caught by paparazzi, and that one time he saved Harry from having to pretend he wasn’t bone tired for his fans at the airport, Louis had actively avoided the spotlight for his entire career to date. That seemed like it was all about to change. Harry needed it to change. He needed Louis to be comfortable, to a degree, being thrust into the spotlight, because if his plan, his dream, ever came to fruition, that would make up a large part of it. 

He knew how to handle it. He was old hat at this. Being photographed and stalked by screaming fans and the paparazzi. Louis however, had done everything humanly possible to remain invisible. Harry thought that if he could field questions diplomatically from his friends, then he could build on that with him and ease him into it slowly before dropping his plan on them like an atomic bomb. 

“Only if you are sure love, I don’t want you to be uncomfortable. You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.” 

“I know, Haz, but I’ve hidden in my ivory tower for long enough. It’s time to come down and actually participate in life. I’ve let it pass me by for long enough.” Harry smiled at his words, both dimples out on show, his heart feeling so full of love and pride for Louis that it felt like it may burt's straight out of his chest. Harry brought his lips down then to capture Louis’ in a chaste kiss before they both turned back to their friends. 

As expected each and every one of their friends, including Mark and Rowan, had an endless string of questions for Louis. Everything from how long he’d been writing music, to who he had written for and the most frequently asked ‘why the hell didn’t you tell us!?’. Harry sat in silence, holding Louis’ hands, giving them a reassuring squeeze every few minutes, letting Louis have this moment to shine. It was what he deserved, and Harry couldn’t have been prouder. 

He was proud that Louis finally felt like he was able to share this part of himself with his friends. He was proud that Louis confidently answered all of their questions, and he was proud that their friends were just as proud and just as in awe of him and his talent as Harry was. If Harry had put him in front of a room full of cameras and interviewers, he was sure that Louis could handle them just as efficiently and eloquently as he was dealing with all of their friends questions now, and it lit a tiny fire in his heart where a raging inferno once used to live. An inferno fueled by the love of music, a passion to share that with the world, and between Niall and Louis he was slowly starting to stoke the tiny flames, nurture them and cultivate them. He knew it wouldn’t be long before he was unable to keep this to himself, but for now, he held on tightly to Louis’ hands, his warmth washing over him, and the tiny little flames of hope, igniting in his heart. 

Today was going to be a great day. 

…..

 

It was, as expected, a fanfare when they finally arrived at the Zoo. It had taken all of 2.5 seconds for someone to recognise Harry and the mass hysteria that had ensued was nothing short of daunting. Harry had almost forgotten that he was a celebrity with everything that had gone on in the last few weeks, months really, and he felt most himself around his friends and Louis, so he had been unprepared to be bombarded by fans. Louis, bless him, had taken it in his stride, and between Niall and Tay, they had managed to coordinate with fans and the Zoo security to have the small crowd of adoring fans told to lay low and let Harry enjoy his day. 

Harry had, of course, taken a few pictures with them and signed a few autographs, one girl had even promised to keep a tight lid on his whereabouts until later that night, so as to ensure that he could enjoy his day with Louis and their friends. It never failed to amaze Harry that he had some of the best, and most understanding fans in the world. All of the fans that he had met had always been so kind and understanding, most of them simply wanting to have a conversation with him, asking him about his day, and if he was hydrated, strangely enough. That one had always confused Harry, and when a fan had asked him that exact question, Niall had simply laughed and told him that he needed to be more active on stan Twitter, whatever that was. 

After a small argument about who would be paying for entry into the Zoo and Niall demanding that they all required a map, they finally made their way in, all taking a seat on a bench next to the entryway to plan out which enclosures they wanted to visit most. 

“I want to go to the Orangutan enclosure, it’s a must!” Niall piped up after studying the map for a few moments. “They’re me favourites.” 

“How about you, Lottie. What do you want to see?” Louis asked her then, his earlier air of fatherly control finally returning. He was, afterall, in charge of a rowdy bunch of teenagers, that fact had already been established by their earlier antics. 

“Umm, I think I want to check out the Elephants. We should do that before lunch. It seems there are some places to eat near there, so we could do that then grab some lunch.”

“Perfect. And you Harold? What animal takes your fancy? I don’t think they have turtles here. Might have to hit up the Aquarium for that one.” Harry looked over the map of the Zoo for a few moments, before his eyes landed on one animal he always loved when he’d visited the Zoo when he was younger with his mum and Gemma.

“I want to go see the Giraffes.” Louis gave him an amused smirk then and Harry could tell he had something to say about his choice. “What? What is that look for?”

“Oh, nothing. That’s-- That’s a great choice, Giraffes it is.” Harry didn’t miss the laugh waiting to explode from Louis as he’d spoken.

“Spit it out Lou, I know you have a smart remark just dying to break free.”

“Well, now that you come to mention it. If I’d known I’d be meeting your distant cousins today, I’d have worn my good jeans instead of these ones.” Harry simply glared at him, but he couldn’t really be mad at him. He did kind of have a point. Sometimes Harry was just as uncoordinated as a newborn Giraffe, trying to find its feet. Harry was barely concealing a smile, and finally let it break free.  

Not long after, they had finally decided on which enclosures they most wanted to visit, and had even decided on which way would be the most efficient to walk around the Zoo without having to go backwards and forwards. The Zoo was much bigger than Harry had first anticipated, and it was already nearing 10am. It would really be midnight before they got to see all that they wanted to if they didn’t stick to Tay’s walking route. 

However, as it turned out, the Giraffe, Orangutan, Ring Tailed Lemur and Australian Animal enclosures were all on the one side of the park so they started there first, before they’d head back to the other side to see the Elephants and Monkey exhibit. As they walked along, everyone pairing off, hand in hand, even Dea and Tay, Harry noted, he couldn’t help but notice the abundance of families surrounding them. Harry felt slightly out of place, as though he should have a small child with him to make it seem more of a normal thing to do. It almost felt like going to the movies alone. Like someone or something was missing. As though it was weird for six adults and two personal security guards to be wandering around the Zoo. 

Harry could feel Louis’ warmth beside him, his laughter filling the air when Niall made one of his many jokes as they made their way to the first enclosure. As they walked more and more, families could be seen enjoying the animals and the sun that had made an appearance for the first time in weeks. Harry felt as though he was on cloud nine, his heart full and his mind clear of all the troubles that had faced them in the last few months. He felt like they were finally back on track. Finally back to being able to enjoy each other and the company of their friends without too many rules and idiotic regulations standing in their way. It was nice to finally feel free of all that. Could he really live a somewhat normal life? Could he one day have children of his own with Louis? He liked to think so, but he also loved his career and performing. Maybe he could have both, his career and a family. Maybe one day they could be walking around a Zoo just like this somewhere with children of their own. Maybe a little girl with caramel brown curls and sapphire eyes. Maybe, just maybe. 

Today was definitely going to be a great day. 

 

 

 

 

 


	25. Letters of the Alphabet, Cheeky Lawyers and Runway Models

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis complains about the miserable weather, which prompts a brilliant idea from Harry. Harry and Louis tie up some loose ends and tender moments are shared. Will Harry's brilliant idea pay off?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi y'all. You know the drill by now. My real life ALWAYS gets in the way of my Larry life and as a result my upload and writing schedule suffers. However. I think we are finally getting to some good chapters now so I thank y'all again for being patient and sticking by me through this rollercoaster of a journey.
> 
> As always, a massive thank you to my best babe Lena (@Wicked_Archer on tw) for beta'ing this for me and helping me to write my smut scenes because its not as easy as we make it look haha. Love you forever girl xx
> 
> And as always a massive thank you to each and every single one of you for reading this fic and coming on this journey with me. Y'all are appreciated more than you know.
> 
>  
> 
> Fun fact : No I'm not an American even though I type like I am haha.
> 
>  
> 
> Kudos and comments are always welcome
> 
> or come and chat or yell at me on Twitter @TheirGoldenFool
> 
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> All the love
> 
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> 
> Z x

“I am sick to death of this bloody weather,” Louis grumbled as he climbed into bed beside Harry. The icy cold sheets of rain were continuing to pelt against the french doors of their bedroom, and Harry had to agree, the miserable weather really was starting to take its toll. “Its September, and it’s still freezing,” Louis continued, as he snuggled beneath the covers, pulling them up to his chin. “It’s Spring for god’s sake. That means we’re supposed to be getting warmer weather and sunshine. Not torrential rain for weeks on bloody end. Being cooped up in this house is driving me crazy, Haz. I feel like I’ve barely left it in months.”

“Well, to be fair,” Harry started conversationally, putting his bookmark between the pages of his book so as not to lose his place, “you are wearing nothing but boxers, and you  _ have  _ barely left the house in months, Lou. What did you expect to happen? You’ve probably got cabin fever or something,” Harry finished, turning back to his book, leaving the bookmark in place as he read. This conversation was far from over, he could feel it.

“That’s exactly what I’ve got, bloody cabin fever. I need to get away. I need to feel the sun on my skin and walk on a nice sandy beach to blow the cobwebs away,” Louis replied, his hands peeking out from the top of the blanket covering his body, flailing about wildly as he spoke. “No chance of that happening anytime soon though, is there? We live spitting distance from the beach, and we can’t get near it. Not with this weather we are having.” It always amused Harry that Louis was worse at remembering that he had more than enough money in his bank account for things than he was. Louis could go on holiday tomorrow if he wanted to, and would barely make a dent in his accumulated wealth, yet, he acted like he didn’t have two cents to his name. 

“Hopefully the weather will clear up soon, Lou, then we can go to the beach all day, every day, if you want to. But for right now, you better get your beauty sleep, we have to be at the hospital at 9am for your appointment.” Harry suppressed a laugh as he watched Louis roll his eyes with a huff, before Louis turned onto his side to face him.

“Don’t remind me. I’m sick to death of having to go to the hospital once a week to get these stupid dressings changed. They make my face itchy, the leftover residue is like a magnet that everything sticks too, and my face always looks dirty. I’ll be glad when I can finally take them off,” Louis grumbled out. It wasn’t the first time Harry had heard those words coming out of Louis’ mouth. Not even the first time today in fact, and he knew it wouldn’t be the last time he heard them either. Harry was just as excited for Louis’ dressings to come off as Louis was, moreso in fact, if that meant he would give up complaining about them. 

“It won’t be long now, love,” Harry said in response, trying to be supportive of the situation and keep the conversation light. He knew it was a sore subject for Louis, and he really didn’t want the conversation to turn into an argument.  “Maybe you could ask them to show me how to change them, love,” Harry continued, and he hoped that Louis could tell that he was being sincere. “That way, we don’t have to trail to the hospital all the time. I know how much you hate going. Plus, I’m sure they sell those kinds of dressings at the Chemist on the main street.” Louis looked to Harry with a fond yet puzzled expression on his face. Harry couldn’t tell what he was thinking, but he was sure Louis was about to enlighten him with the way his lip had begun to twitch as Harry had spoken. 

“You-- you would do that? You would change my dressings for me?” Is what Louis decided to say, and Harry smiled at him. He didn’t think he would ever get used to Louis not believing him when he said things like that to him. It was something he had been working on though, and he was getting better. Harry couldn’t have been more proud of how much progress Louis had made in dealing with his feelings about Ben. He had made progress in leaps and bounds, and Harry couldn’t believe that this was the same Louis as the Louis from a few weeks ago that couldn’t bear to even be in the same room as him. 

“Of course, I would. Honestly, Lou, it’s not a big deal. I’m sure I can manage to take one dressing off, clean the wound and put another one back on, surely.” 

“Who are you trying to convince, Haz? Me or you?” Louis joked, winking at Harry before an eye crinkling grin spread across his face. It reminded Harry of a ray of sunshine peeking through the clouds on a rainy day when it appeared at random like that. 

“I don’t need to convince anyone, love. I’ve got this.” Harry was confident he could do this, for the most part. He hadn’t changed a dressing in his life. The most he’d ever done was a few bandaids here and there, but Louis’ dressing was just a giant bandaid. It couldn’t be that difficult. At least, he hoped it wasn’t too difficult. Only time would tell. 

“Well, in that case, I’ll ask Dr. Peats about it tomorrow. But for now, Nurse Styles, come here and kiss me. That I know you can manage.”

Harry didn’t have to be told twice. With a laugh he closed his book, placing it on the bedside table and switched off his bedside lamp. He wriggled down the bed so that his head was on the pillows, before he scooped Louis up into his arms, and brought their lips together. They kissed lazily for a few moments, lips tasting, tongues discovering, whilst Harry ran his hands leisurely up and down Louis’ back, simply to have the feel of his skin under his fingertips. 

Louis was right about one thing though. They needed to get away. They needed some time alone to themselves. They did need to feel the sun on their skin and have the warm ocean breezes blow all of the proverbial cobwebs away. Harry had been thinking about it a lot recently, and he had come to the conclusion, that despite everything that had happened during the course of their short relationship, they were very lucky that they had managed to come out of it intact. Harry really didn’t know a great deal about Louis. Not really. Not the stuff that really mattered and that was something he knew had to change. 

They had to take some time to get to know each other, rediscover each other again, for the third time as ironic as that sounded, and maybe, just maybe, they could finally let sleeping dogs lie and bury some hatchets. Both of them were carrying around baggage that was mentally and emotionally dragging them down, and Harry couldn’t think of a better way to be rid of it all than a vacation filled with sun, sea, sex and sand. A chance for them to have some much needed them time, to be alone long enough to have a decent conversation. To ask all of the idiotic questions that normal couples asked each other at the beginning of their relationship journey. They had completely skipped those critical ‘getting to know you’ steps, and Harry felt that it was necessary that they take a few steps back and complete that process before they took any more steps forward.

It was because of this, that Harry found himself sitting at the kitchen table at 2am, long after Louis had fallen asleep, nursing a cup of tea and scrolling through page after page of supposedly perfect couples getaways. All of the usual places were listed like Bora Bora, which in reality wasn’t very far from them. There was also the Seychelles, the Maldives, Santorini, Greece and Thailand. But none of those places seemed overly appealing to Harry. Not for the kind of soul searching, baggage ridding vacation that they needed. That wasn’t the kind of place he wanted to take Louis. He wanted to take him somewhere special. If they were going to do this, he wanted it to be perfect, so he kept scrolling, kept searching, until he finally found what he was looking for. 

Why he hadn’t thought of it sooner was beyond him. It was probably the unnecessary pressure he was placing on himself to make it perfect, or the ungodly hour of the morning or the lack of sleep. Either way, he was kicking himself at having wasted so much time searching when the answer had been right under his nose the entire time. The more pages of information and the more websites he read, the more he was convinced that this was were he was going to take Louis on their very first vacation together. Just the two of them. Just him and Louis. No friends, no family, no paps, no fans, hopefully, and no security detail hovering ominously in the background. Mark, of course, was going to have a fit about that, but that was an argument to be had at a much more sensible hour of the day. 

By 3am, after another three cups of tea, Harry’s eyes felt as though he had rolled them in sand. Once Harry had made all the necessary bookings, a small to-do list, as well as a list of question to ask Dr. Peats tomorrow, that he prayed wouldn’t sound too suspicious, he closed his laptop and headed upstairs to bed. He crawled under the covers beside Louis, his body heat making the bed feel cozy and warm and he nudged Louis gently in the ribs. He knew it would make Louis curl up into the foetal position, instead of  his current one of impersonating a starfish, so that he could actually get in bed, and with one last kiss to Louis’ forehead, Harry finally closed his eyes and let sleep overtake him, with sandy beaches and palm trees dancing behind his eyes. 

 

.   . .   . . 

 

At precisely 7am the next morning, a mere four hours after Harry had finally managed to close his eyes and go to sleep, he was awoken by the incessant ringing of his mobile phone. He groaned into his pillow, as he noted the time on the small clock he kept on his bedside table, squeezing his eyes tightly shut, hoping that if he ignored it, whoever was on the other end would get the hint and give up. A few seconds later the ringing stopped, and Harry smiled sleepily, breathing a heavy sigh before getting comfortable again and slowly began to drift back to sleep. What felt like a half a second later the ringing began again, and Harry begrudgingly opened one eye, not moving from his current position face down on the bed as he fumbled wildly on the bedside table for his phone. Clearly whoever wanted to speak with him wasn’t going to give up any time soon.

“‘Ello.” Harry mumbled into the phone once he had managed to locate it and answer the call, not even bothering to look to see who it was. His voice was muffled by his face being squished into his pillow. It was far to early for this nonsense, so whoever it was would just have to deal with his less than stellar phone etiquette. If anything, they were the one who had bad manners for calling so early. Repeatedly. 

“Haz, it’s Tay. Did I wake you?” Came Tay’s chipper voice on the other end of the line. She had been spending a lot of time at Dea’s since she had been in Australia, and Harry found the thought heart warming. He was glad that they were both happy, Darcy and Caroline clearly long forgotten. 

“Umm-- no. No, s’okay. What’s up?” Harry continued to mumble, trying his hardest not to heave an exasperated sigh. It was definitely too early for this.  A call from Tay this early definitely didn’t mean anything good. 

“I’m sorry to call so early, Harry, but Simon’s lawyers just contacted me, and they’ve set up a conference call at 1pm to discuss your exit contract. I literally just got the call, Haz. I can try to reschedule if you want me to. I know it's short notice.” Tay was rambling now, and Harry tried to process all of the information she was giving him. But it was too early. He was too sleepy, and he hadn’t even had one coffee yet. 

“No. No, don’t reschedule. I’ve been waiting on this exit contract for weeks. If we reschedule now, who knows how long that asshole will make me wait again. Can you just email me all the information? I’ll be sure to be home by one. Just have to take Lou to his appointment at nine first,” Harry managed to mumble out. 

“Sure thing. I also contacted Marlenea for you, she will call you at one to begin the conference call. Again, I’m sorry for calling so early, but I thought you’d want to know right away, give you time to kind of prepare.” 

“It’s ok, love. And thank you. You really are the best. If anything changes gimme a call yeah?” Harry replied, keen to end the call and squeeze in some more sleep before his alarm went off.

“Yeah, sure thing, Haz. You and Lou have a good day. Talk soon.”

“Talk soon, love.” With that Harry ended the call and dumped his phone back onto his bedside table. The more Tay had spoken, the more awake he had become, and so he rolled over onto his back staring up at the ceiling. More sleep was something he clearly wasn’t going to get. 

He had been waiting on his exit contract for weeks. Had spent weeks trying to guess how many millions Simon was going to try and swindle out of him for the rights to all of his music. It was stressful, and on more than one occasion over the last few weeks, Louis had, had to talk Harry out of picking up the phone and giving Simon a piece of his mind. Again. It would soon be over though, at least, he hoped it would be, and he could finally be free of Simon, Jeff and their toxicity. Regardless of the price, this was a good thing for Harry and for Louis. That part of his life would finally be in the past, a long forgotten nightmare. The rest of their lives ahead of them. Just then his alarm rang out, signaling it was time to get up and start the day, and he groaned flinging an arm over his eyes dramatically. The holiday he had planned was sounding better and better by the second, and he just hoped, that by the end of the day, he would still have enough money to pay for it.

 

.   . .   . .

 

At a little after 9am, Harry and Louis were seated together in Dr. Peats’ office, patiently waiting to hear about Louis’ progress. Dr. Peats had been scanning over Louis’ notes since they arrived, and it was starting to make Louis nervous. He knew, logically, that his wounds should be all but healed at this point, but he still had the sinking feeling that he wasn’t about to receive good news. 

“Well, Louis,” Dr. Peats began, pushing his glasses up into his hair and turning in his chair to face Louis and Harry, “today is finally the day.”

“The day for what?” Louis asked, too nervous to let Dr. Peats finish. He needed to know what the hell he was talking about, and he needed to know now. 

“The day that those dressings can finally come off, and stay off. It’s been almost six weeks now, and I'm happy with how the wounds have healed. I’ll just take one more quick look, clean your face up a bit and then you are all set to go. File closed.” Louis knew that he was staring at Dr. Peats like he had been hit with a shovel, his eyes wide and his mouth hanging open. They were the words he had waited so long to hear, and now that he had finally heard them, Louis wasn’t quite sure he believed any of them.

“Are-- are you serious? They’re healed?” Was all Louis could think to say, and he could feel Harry squeezing his knee gently, letting him know that he was still there, still supporting him.

“Yes, yes I’m serious, Louis, or at least, they should be. I don’t see why they wouldn’t be,” Dr. Peats replied through a laugh. 

“I can’t believe it. I thought they would never heal,” Louis confessed, and both Harry and Dr. Peats gave him a kind, reassuring smile. They had finally healed. That horrible chapter in his life, and their relationship, was finally coming to a close after what felt like a lifetime. He was so overwhelmed, his chest felt tight, and he could feel tears burning at the backs of his eyes, however, the grin never left his face.

“Are you ok, love? You’re crying; what’s wrong?” Harry asked from his place beside Louis, and Louis looked at him through tear filled eyes.

“I-- I’m just so happy that this is finally over, Haz. We can finally put all of that, excuse my language Dr. Peats, shit, to rest and move on from it.”

“I know, love,” Harry replied, giving Louis’ knee a gentle squeeze. “It has been a long, tiring six weeks. But we made it. We made it to the other side. Together.” Louis could see tears glistening in Harry's eyes too, but he knew they were happy tears. Tears formed out of relief that this was finally over.

“Together,” Louis repeated with wobbly lips. They had made it through this together, and that, in itself, was the most important part. They hadn't allowed any of this to tear them apart. It had almost come to that. It had almost spelled the end for them, but they had battled through it, together, and had come out the other side as survivors.

Dr. Peats stood up from his chair then, coming around his desk to stand beside Louis, clapping him on the shoulder with a proud expression on his face. “I’m really happy with how much progress you have made since the first time I met you, Louis,” he began. Louis tried not to cringe or shy away at the memory of how their first meeting had gone. Dr. Peats was right though, he had made so much progress, not only with his injuries, but in most areas of his life. “I’m glad that I had to pleasure to meet the real Louis Tomlinson, I knew he was in there hiding underneath all of that hurt. But, before I start crying too, which would be highly unprofessional and somewhat embarrassing,  why don’t we go and take that dressing off for good. Hmm?” 

Louis nodded his head vigorously, not used to receiving so much praise. Although, it seemed that was all anyone had been doing of late, praising him. It was an odd feeling he was still coming to terms with again.  He had never really had anyone praise him for the things that he had done or achieved in his life, save for his mum and Lottie, and the last time that had happened was when he was younger, competing in the school football team. They had been, and always would be, his biggest supporters in life. That was until Harry had literally stumbled into his life. His life had changed forever that day, in ways that he would never have believed or imagined if someone had told him beforehand. 

He’d have laughed them off and told them they should seek professional help, because clearly they were delusional. Yet, here he was. Successful songwriter, with a worldwide hit, or two, under his belt. He had a beautiful home, filled with family and friends that he loved dearly, and the crowning jewel on top, the love of a wonderful man. A man he could not have dreamt up in his wildest imaginings, and for all of those things, he would always feel like the luckiest man in the world. For those things, he would always be grateful. 

Louis stood then, roughly wiping at his face with the sleeve of his jacket, following Harry and Dr. Peats out of his office. They walked down the short corridor to the procedure room and were met by Lara, the nurse that had changed his dressings the very first time he’d come to the hospital. She was a wonderful woman, who had always treated Louis like a human being, and never once had tried to patronize him like some of the other nurses he’d met had. He wouldn't say it outloud, but Lara was his favourite.

“Hey there trouble, I hear you’re finally getting out of my hair,” she said, winking at Louis as he entered the room. 

“Yeah, guess I am. You gonna miss me?” Louis asked, giving her a wink of his own, and she swatted at his arm playfully. 

“Of course I’m going to miss you, Louis. I shouldn’t have a favourite patient, but you are my favourite by a mile. You didn’t hear it from me though.”

Louis chuckled at her admission, his cheeks heating up at the compliment. “Well, whaddya know? You just so happen to be my favourite nurse. What a small world,” Louis joked back, and for once, he didn’t feel a sense of dread at having to face his injuries. Although he was quite nervous for Harry.

Sure he had a scar, and his face was permanently changed, but it was as much a part of who he was now as his pinky toe or the fact that his eyes were blue. It was a constant reminder of how hard he had worked to try harder, to do better, to be better. Plus, it just so happened to be shaped like his favourite letter of the alphabet now that it had calmed down and healed, so he couldn’t really be too mad about it. How that had happened he’d never truly understand. Dr. Peats had gone on at length at a previous appointment about the way the glass had broken, the angle at which it had struck his face and all other things that sounded way too mathematical for Louis, when he’d asked how it had ended up that way. Louis had tuned out when phrases like ‘thirty-five degree angle’ had started cropping up during the conversation, but despite all of that,  he was glad, in a way, that if he had to be left with a scar, it was at least a shape that he had grown to love. 

This would also be the first time that Harry would be seeing the full extent of the scar left behind. Louis had refused to let Harry look at it until it was completely healed, not wanting or needing Harry to freak out or take pity on him. As it had healed, it had changed dramatically, and Louis found even he had grown fond of his scar. It had taken a long time to come to terms with it, but hating it wouldn’t make it go away. After plenty of discussion with Dr. Peats and Harry about plastic surgery, he found that he didn’t want that either. It was a part of him now, and that was ok.  In a way Louis thought of it like a tattoo, a permanent reminder of a period in his life marked onto his skin, and he found this helped him greatly in coming to terms with it. 

“Righto young man. Get up on the bed, you know the drill,” Lara said then, and Louis did as he was asked. Harry was watching him intently from his relaxed position leaning against the door frame and Louis gave him a wide smile. A genuine smile, that Harry returned with gusto. “You ready?” Lara asked when Louis was comfortable, sitting on the edge of the small bed, his legs swinging away. He nodded and smiled at her, and soon, his dressing was off and Dr. Peats was crowding around him, examining the three, now joined, scars on his face.

From his current position, Harry couldn’t see it, the other side of Louis’ face, facing towards him. He just hoped that when Harry finally saw the scar, he wouldn’t take pity on Louis. Louis didn’t need his pity. He didn’t need to be pitied by anyone. All he wanted was for that look of unconditional love in Harry’s eyes to remain there as it always had. 

“Well, Louis. I am happy to tell you that your wounds have healed remarkably well, and you now have a clean bill of health,” Dr. Peats said, scribbling notes onto a chart in Louis’ file. 

“Yeah? You really mean that? They’re really healed?” Louis asked, needing to make sure that this was all finally over. 

“Yes, they really are all healed. I actually expected them to take at least another two or three weeks to heal, yet here you are. You are a fighter, Louis Tomlinson, and one of the strongest and most resilient people I have ever had the pleasure to meet.”

“Thank you, Dr. Peats. That’s very kind of you to say,” Louis replied, feeling suddenly embarrassed, and he could feel his cheeks heating up at Dr. Peats’ words.

“He’s right you know,” Harry piped up then, and without thinking, Louis whipped his head around to look at him. Louis knew the exact moment that Harry’s eyes landed on his scar, and he held his breath waiting for his reaction, however, it was a reaction that Louis never would have expected.

 

.   . .   . .

 

Harry gasped and covered his mouth with both of his hands as Louis’ scar finally came into view. He knew his eyes were wide, and he hoped that Louis wasn’t thinking the worst right now. He just couldn’t believe what he was seeing. It just couldn’t be possible. Harry stood there in shock for another few moments, Dr. Peats, Louis and Lara all looking between themselves and Harry as he tried to compose himself. He felt anything but composed, and he was trying so hard not to stare. He just couldn’t tear his eyes away from Louis’ face.

“Haz, baby. Are you okay? Say something,” he heard Louis say when he hadn’t moved or spoken for almost a full minute.  All he could do was drop his hands from his face, swallowing hard and nodded dumbly at him. “Come here, love. It’s okay,” Louis continued, and Harry hoped that he could make his long legs work and do as Louis asked. He didn’t want Louis to think that he was repulsed by him, or scared to approach him. He was anything but repulsed or scared. He wanted so much to reach out and run his fingertips over the three pink scars, joined to form one remarkable shape adorning Louis’ face, so he decided then and there he was going to do just that. He needed to. 

Harry moved from his spot against the door frame, and slowly made his way further into the room, coming to a stop in front of Louis. His heart was beating wildly in his chest, and his mouth felt like the Sahara. He couldn’t explain why he was feeling this way, and he wasn’t exactly sure that he cared either. All that mattered was showing Louis that he loved him more than life itself, and that his scar was just another one of the endless reasons why.

“Can-- can I touch it?” Harry asked, taking a deep breath, before he looked to Louis and Dr. Peats for an answer.

“Of course you can, love,” Louis answered immediately. “He can, can’t he?” He asked, looking to Dr. Peats and Lara for the go ahead.

“If you are okay with that Louis, I don’t see why not. I mean they are still fresh, and you should still proceed with day to day activities with caution, but Lara can clean them again for you if you are happy to do this,” Dr. Peats said, and Harry looked back at Louis.

“You can touch them, love. It’s okay. I know you won’t hurt me,” Louis said then, his voice barely above a whisper, as if for Harry’s ears only. 

“O--okay,” Harry stumbled out, and he took a large, deep breath, trying to calm his nerves. He had never once been nervous of touching Louis, but somehow this was different. It felt monumental in some strange way. 

Harry began to lift his hand slowly up to Louis’ face as Louis took his other hand in his smaller ones, squeezing it gently in a silent show of encouragement. Harry felt silly. He didn’t know why this was such a big deal, or why he needed to touch it. Maybe it was because he still couldn’t quite believe what he was seeing. As if touching it would prove that he wasn’t imagining things and it was real, that his eyes weren’t playing tricks on him. All he knew for sure though, was that he needed to, and that was enough for him. 

When Harry’s fingertips were finally hovering above the scar on Louis’ face, he paused. Louis gave him a warm smile, whispering to him that it was ok. So with one final deep breath, Harry brought his fingertips gently down onto the pink scar, tracing over it  gently. His heart skipped a beat when Louis’ eyes fluttered shut, letting out a contented sigh, and he vaguely registered that Dr. Peats and Lara had busied themselves over at the computer, trying their best to give them a modicum of privacy. The scar felt odd underneath his fingertips. Soft, yet tough. A dainty pink, but a reminder that Louis had faced a great challenge and had overcome it. Harry thought it was very fitting. So very Louis. Soft, yet strong. Yes, that was definitely Louis. On the third slow pass over, Harry finally found his voice.

“Lou, it’s-- it’s shaped like--” Harry started, but he was swiftly cut off by Louis.

“Like an ‘H’. Yeah, I know,” Louis finished, his eyes opening slowly as he spoke.

“How-- how is that even possible?” Harry asked, continuing to run his fingers gently over the pink, raised skin.

“I dunno, Haz, and I don’t care how either. All I care about is that my face is finally healed, and you are still looking at me like I’m the most precious thing in the entire world.” Harry’s eyes whipped up to meet Louis’ as he had spoken, the lazy trail of his fingers stopping abruptly.

“Of course, I am. Why would I not? Your face could be riddled with scars Lou, and I would still look at you this way. I’ll never, ever stop looking at you this way.” Harry disentangled his hand from Louis’ then, bringing both of them up to cup Louis’ cheeks, his thumb tracing over the small, pink uppercase ‘H’ shaped scar below the pad of his thumb. “I love you, Louis Tomlinson. Scars and all.”

“I love you, Harry Styles,” Louis replied, and with small, matching smiles, they sealed their lips, and the rest of their lives together with a kiss.

 

.   . .   . . 

 

At precisely ten minutes to one, Harry’s phone began to ring, vibrating harshly on the kitchen table. Harry quickly snatched it up, being met with Marlenea’s bright, cheerful smile filling the screen.

“It’s Lena!” Harry said excitedly to Louis. “I’ve been wanting to introduce you to her for ages, I’ve just never had the opportunity. She is just like you,” he continued, a mischievous smirk blossoming on his face, “plus or minus a few parts. You’ll love her.” Louis rolled his eyes at his joke, but Harry was proud of it whether Louis thought it was lame or not. He didn’t have time to dwell on that, though. This wasn’t a social call, so he quickly answered the video call, ignoring the smirk that Louis was giving him now and motioned for him to scoot closer so that both of their faces were now filling the screen.

“Lena! How are you?” Harry said as soon as the call was answered, watching as Marlenea’s face split into a wide smile, her dark chocolate eyes filled with happiness and mischief, just like Harry remembered them.

“Harry! I’m great, how are y’all doin’?” Marlenea replied in her thick southern accent. It had always been one of Harry’s favourite things about her, other than her impeccable makeup looks and her ever changing coloured mohawk.  

She was tattooed, pierced and fiesty. All of the things that a lawyer usually wasn’t, and it was part of the reason that Harry had chosen to keep her on retainer after the first time Simon had tried to use his contract to screw him over. Marlenea was also educated, quick witted and always used logic and facts to back her argument. Since Harry had met her, he had never once gone wrong when signing deals and extending his contracts. He secretly thought that most men were intimidated by her sureness and her biting sarcasm, which they should be if he was being honest. She had, however, lectured him on how ‘complete and utter shit’ his contract was, and how stupid he had been to sign it in the first place. But she had overlooked that small detail when he’d told her that he had been young and dumb at the time and was in no hurry to ever repeat that mistake again. 

“We are great, love. I love your hair, peach, looks amazing on you.”

“Thanks, appreciate that,” Marlenea replied, and Harry could have sworn he seen her blush, the pink colour contrasting with the peach colour of her hair and her rose gold makeup. 

“Hiya, I’m Louis, Harry’s boyfriend,” Louis piped up then, giving Marlenea a small wave, and Harry was quick to excuse himself, feeling embarrassed at having forgotten all about introducing the pair.

“I’m sorry, Lena, where are my manners? Yes, this is the one and only Louis. Louis, this is Lena, my kick ass lawyer.” Louis and Marlenea both smiled and waved at each other, exchanging ‘hellos’ and ‘nice to meet yous’ through the screen, and Harry couldn’t help the dimple filled smile on his face. He had been so nervous about the upcoming meeting with Simon’s lawyers about his exit contract, but he now felt like he had been worrying for nothing. He knew that Marlenea was smart and an extremely talented lawyer. There was no way that she was going to let them railroad Harry and allow him walk away with nothing. She would keep them on the conference call all day and all night if she had to until she was satisfied that they had the best deal possible, and Harry was grateful that she was as invested in him as he was in his music. It made things like this so much easier to deal with knowing that his team was behind him one hundred percent. 

“I don’t mean to cut this short guys, y’all know we need to catch up, but we really should go over this idiotic proposal that Simon’s lawyers have sent over,” Marlenea said then, rolling her eyes dramatically, heaving a sigh of frustration. “They are out of their fuckin’ minds if they think we are going to accept this deal.” Louis gasped at her use of colourful language, which was not exactly normal for a lawyer, before he burst into a fit of the giggles. Harry couldn’t help but laugh either, but Marlenea was undeterred and began listing all of the ‘idiotic terms’ set out by Simon’s legal team. 

For the next ten minutes they sat and brain stormed every possible which way they could possibly swing this contract to Harry’s advantage, going over every minute detail and every scenario they could think of so that all of their bases were covered. By the time that Marlenea’s phone began ringing in her office at 1:05pm, Harry was convinced that they had found a way to leave his hard earned money somewhat intact, as well as securing the rights to all of his music. It wasn’t ideal, but it was better than walking away with nothing. Marlenea was convinced that Simon’s lawyers would go for it, eventually, once they had ummed and ahhed about it for a while and tried in vain to swindle him out of more money than was necessary. But only time would tell.

 

.   . .   . .

 

“I cannot believe that they did that,” Louis said in utter disbelief as he began undressing in the bathroom later that evening. He knew that he sounded like a broken record at this point, having said those exact words to Harry over and over again, since Harry had ended the conference call a little after 3pm, but Louis simply couldn’t believe that he had agreed to pay more than half of what he was worth to be free of Simon Cowell. 

“I know, Lou. It was an all around shitty situation, and I know I’m broke now. We will be ok though. I’ll be back on top soon enough. I haven’t given up on making music completely.” 

“Broke? Are you serious? Having a bank account with ten million dollars in it is hardly being broke, Harold!” Louis yelled, hearing a quiet chuckle from where Harry was in their bedroom. “I wish I was as broke as you.”

“Okay, so broke maybe isn’t the right word to use,” Harry said, coming into the bathroom to stand beside Louis at the sink, beginning to shed his clothes, too. “But I just signed away another fifteen million to that asshole, Lou. That’s more than half of what I’m worth. I won’t stand here and lie and say that it didn’t sting a little. It fucking hurts actually, like rubbing salt into an open wound if I’m being honest. I can just imagine the smug look that dickwad had on his face when he got the confirmation that we’d settled. Plus, I don’t have all that money sitting in a bank account, Lou,” Harry rambled out, now standing completely naked beside Louis, hands on hips, a firm scowl now set into his beautiful features. “I wish I did.  I probably only have about one million in there now. The rest is tied up in real estate or my car collection. Most of which I’m going to have to sell now. You can thank Simon fucking Cowell for that.” Harry looked forlornly at his reflection in the mirror as he finished speaking and Louis felt a pang of guilt surge through him. He probably shouldn’t have been making jokes about it. Not this soon after the final blow from Simon had been delivered, but he didn’t know how else to make Harry smile again. He wasn’t the best at dealing with his own feelings, never mind anyone else's. But he was trying. 

“I know, love. I know. It’s not your fault,” Louis replied, turning to face a now naked Harry, hoping that he sounded compassionate and not patronising.

“I’m sorry for snapping at you, Lou,” Harry said on a whisper, their eyes locking in the reflection of the mirror above the sinks. “It’s neither mine nor your fault. Simon Cowell is pure evil, intent on destroying people’s lives, to line his own hideously outdated pockets. It could have been much, much worse. I’m just thankful that I had you and Lena to back me up, otherwise I could have walked away with absolutely nothing.”

“You don’t have to thank me, love,” Louis replied, moving closer to Harry’s naked form as he spoke. “But you are welcome nonetheless. I’m glad I could be of some help at least.” 

Harry didn’t say anything in reply then, he simply turned to face Louis and circled his long arms around Louis’ waist, bringing his lips down to meet the other man’s in a passionate, almost desperate kiss. Louis gasped into Harry’s mouth as Harry gripped tightly onto his firm ass, his long fingers kneading the plump flesh they found there, Harry’s tongue delving into his mouth, taking what he needed from Louis. Louis recovered after a few seconds, before he relaxed into Harry’s firm hold, his smaller hands coming up to tangle in Harry’s soft curls as they continued to kiss each other like it would be the last time they’d ever get the chance. 

Louis could feel Harry’s cock beginning to harden between them as he continued to palm and grope at Louis’ ass. Louis’ dick twitched in interest at the knowledge that he could make Harry so incredibly turned on. Harry was tall and sexy, with a voice like melted chocolate, with a smile to die for. He could no doubt have any man on Earth he wanted, yet he had chosen Louis, and had continued to choose Louis every single day since then. That thought alone was enough to make Louis’ dick impossibly hard, and so he didn’t hesitate to grind his hips down, rubbing their hard cocks together has he did so. 

“Shower. Now.” Louis heard Harry growl into his ear as he continued to grind his hips, their cocks brushing together with the perfect amount of friction. It felt like too much but also not quite enough, yet utterly perfect all at the same time. It was how Louis described their relationship too, in his own head at least. Too much, yet not enough, but utterly perfect. Louis could do little else but nod his head in agreement to Harry’s command, before Harry was pushing him backwards towards the large shower behind them. 

Harry reluctantly broke the kiss long enough to swing the glass door of the shower open, it banging loudly off of the wall adjacent in his haste to turn on the water, adjusting it to the right temperature before hauling Louis unceremoniously into it. Louis couldn’t help the giggle that escaped him, Harry’s face splitting into a devilish grin as he did so, before Harry’s mouth was devouring Louis’ again. Louis moaned into the kiss then, the combination of Harry’s mouth, hands and the warm water cascading over them sending shockwaves of pleasure all over his body. He felt like his skin was on fire, like it had come alive under Harry’s touch, and he craved it. Like an addiction he couldn’t and wouldn’t kick. Harry was his drug, and he didn’t ever want to kick the habit. 

“Touch me, please baby, please touch me,” Louis heard himself saying, his voice sounding strange even to his own ears. It sounded breathless and desperate, but he couldn’t deny that in that moment he was both of those things. 

“Okay, baby. Okay. I’ve got you,” Harry whispered back against the crook of his neck, before he began walking Louis backwards towards the wall of the shower. Louis gasped as his back hit the cool tiles the sensation combining with the feeling of Harry sucking a bruise into his collarbone driving him closer and closer to orgasm. Harry hadn’t even really touched him yet, but still Louis felt as though he may come at any moment. 

Louis threw his head back, unable to control himself, and his head collided painfully with the tiled wall. He bit down hard on his bottom lip, trying to contain the shout of pain that he knew was fighting to escape. Hitting his head after recently having sustained a concussion probably wasn’t the smartest of idea’s, but he wasn't about to let anything ruin this moment for him. 

He’d suffer through whatever came his way if it meant not ruining this moment alone with Harry. Since they had sorted through what had happened, and now that things were back to normal, their house was back to normal, too. This had included the addition of Niall, who had been camping out in Lottie’s room for the last two weeks. Harry and Louis had since then been forced to sneak around like silly teenagers, squeezing in quiet make out sessions under the covers at three in the morning because they never had the house to themselves for longer than five minutes anymore. Tonight, however, was one of those rare nights where Harry and Louis had the house completely to themselves, so Louis was going to make the most of it, come hell or high water.

“Harry, please, I need you to touch me. Fuck. Please touch me.” Louis knew he was pleading with Harry at this point, but he didn't care. He needed Harry to touch him in the one place that he was deliberately ignoring.

“Fuck. Shh… okay, I’ll touch you, baby, ” Harry hushed then before he, thankfully, wrapped a large, ringed hand around both of their lengths, bringing them both together, Louis unable stop himself from biting down into Harry’s shoulder to suppress a scream. Louis looked down between them to find their cocks joined together, both hard, red, and leaking. The sight was erotic and almost sent him over the edge, so he quickly looked up to find Harry’s eyes. They were dark, hooded and felt as though they were burning holes straight through him. 

“Oh fuck! Fuck, Louis!” Harry yelled out as Louis’ teeth made contact with his shoulder for the second time. The sound of Harry’s gravely voice echoed around the bathroom, bouncing off of the tiled walls, so that Louis felt as though he was completely surrounded by it. It invaded his senses, that combined with the feeling of Harry’s hand and cock on his dick, the taste of Harry’s skin and the feeling of the water running down his chest to mingle where they were joined. It was too much, but not enough, but utterly perfect. 

“Feels so good, Harry. P-please, fuck please don’t stop.” Louis continued to anchor himself to Harry by his curls, his small hands gripping tighter as Harry’s hand began to move faster over their hard lengths. Louis closed his eyes, letting all of the sounds and sensations engulf him like a tidal wave, his breathing now coming out as short, sharp pants, Harry’s not much better. Their chests were heaving rapidly, and Louis’ leg’s began to feel wobbly as a pool of heat began to unfurl deep in the pit of his stomach. It wasn’t long before his legs began to shake with it, Harry stopping his ministrations long enough to hoist Louis up, wrapping his legs around his waist, supporting him with one strong  arm under his ass as he braced himself with his strong legs, using the shower wall to further support both of them.

“Are you close? Are you close for me, baby?” Harry asked, and Louis could feel the words in his chest where Harry was currently biting marks into his collarbone, mingling with the scripted tattoo there. Their now even closer proximity to each other seemed to make everything hotter, their bodies slicker, the slide of  Harry’s hand on their cocks that much more pleasurable. Louis nodded dumbly before he realised that Harry couldn’t see him, maybe just feel him, so he decided to answer. 

“Yes. Fuck, Harry. I’m so close. Fuck,” Louis panted out between stuttered breaths, Harry’s free hand now wrapped back around both of their lengths. Harry’s cock rubbed against Louis’, the cool metal of his rings contrasting with the heat of their bodies. It felt sinful, but Louis couldn’t get enough of it. He felt like he was standing on the edge of a cliff, waiting for just the right moment to jump and take the plunge into a world of overwhelming sensations. He was close, and he knew that Harry was too by the way that his hand had begun to move erratically over their cocks. 

“Gonna make you come like this, baby,” Harry growled out before he began sucking another dark bruise into Louis’ collar bone. “You gonna come on my cock, baby? Need your come on my cock.” Harry licked over the bruise he had created, Louis nodding his head frantically unable to form a coherent sentence even if he’d wanted to. He was a mass of mind numbing sensation, his brain unable to focus on anything else but Harry’s hand on his dick and the obscene words tumbling from his kiss bitten lips. Harry was obscene. Harry was sinful. And Louis couldn’t deny that he was loving every minute of it. 

“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Harry. Fuck. I’m gonna come. I’m gonna come,” Louis was chanting now, Harry’s hand moving in stilted, frantic motions over their hard, leaking lengths. He could feel it in his stomach, the tell tale pulling sensation that signaled he was so fucking close. So close, he felt like his entire body was going to explode with it. 

“Come on, baby. Come for me,” Harry growled as his legs began to shake violently, and so Louis did just that. 

Louis came. Hard. 

He shouted out Harry’s name as ribbon after ribbon of hot come shot from his dick. It coated Harry’s hand, both of their cocks and their chests, only to be washed away moments later by the steady stream of water flowing between them. Louis could still feel it on his skin long after it was gone. It felt almost like it had branded him as Harry continued to work him through his orgasm, not letting up until he himself came, sinking his teeth almost painfully into Louis’ collar bone to stifle, what Louis could only imagine, would have been a scream of pleasure. 

Louis’ entire body felt as though a million tiny fireworks had been set of simultaneously as he came down from his release. It was an odd sensation if he was being honest, but one that he craved more than anything. A sensation that only Harry had ever been able to make him feel. It was a heady mixture of full body tingles, toe curling, leg shaking pleasure, and the undeniable feeling of his soul being torn from his body via his dick. 

Louis let his legs fall from their position around Harry’s waist when he felt Harry's arm beginning to shake. He was still in awe of how unexpectedly strong Harry was, and that he was able to support his weight with just one arm. Harry, by all accounts, didn't look outwardly or stereotypically strong, but Louis doubted he'd have been able to hold Harry up like that, for as long as Harry just had. 

Louis felt his legs wobble slightly as his feet touched the tiled floor of the shower once more, but before he had a chance to brace himself, Harry had a strong arm wrapped around his waist again. Louis looked up into Harry's startling green eyes, before he brought their lips together again, only this time, it was tender and unhurried.

“I love you. So much that it sometimes physically hurts,” Harry whispered against Louis’ cheek, before placing a gentle kiss to Louis’ scar. Louis closed his eyes, nuzzling his cheek against Harry's at the sensation of his lips. 

“I love you too, baby. More than you'll ever truly know,” Louis whispered back. “I know that sounds totally corny, like I'm repeating the words from some trashy Hallmark greeting card, but I do.”

“I know, Lou. And it doesn't sound corny, baby. I know that you love me, and I know I'll never truly understand just how much. Just like I'll never be able to make you understand how much I love you, but I'd like to at least try and show you.” 

Louis moved back slightly, so he could look at Harry properly, a puzzled expression on his face. He could tell by the way that Harry's lips were quirked up into half a smirk that Harry knew he was confused. “Show me? How?” Was what Louis decided to say, instead of berating Harry for smirking at him.

“Let's get washed and get out of here before we both end up looking like giant, naked prunes, then I'll explain.” Louis wasn't convinced, but went along with it anyway. 

A few minutes later, when both Harry and Louis were washed and dried, Harry had Louis sit on the end of the bed while he ‘collected his props’. Louis was beyond confused now, as well as being slightly nervous at not knowing what Harry was up to or why in God’s name he needed ‘props’.

“So, you said you were going to explain all of this, so get explaining, Styles,” Louis began, but Harry held one long finger up to his lips, effectively silencing him. Louis begrudgingly kept quite, folding his arms across his chest and pouted at Harry.

“Don’t pout at me, Tomlinson,” Harry chiddied. “I am about to explain right now love. Patience is a virtue and all of that.” Louis continued to pout, his brows drawn into a scowl, as he watched Harry cheekily blow him a kiss, before he disappeared into the walk in wardrobe.

Harry reappeared a few moments, after much banging, clanging and rustling around in drawers, wheeling both of their suitcases behind him. Louis quickly covered his mouth with his hands, his eyes wide as he  stared at Harry, who was now leaning against the door frame of the wardrobe, in what Louis thought Harry hoped was a seductive pose. 

“Wh-- what the bloody hell are you wearing!” Louis yelled around a laugh, before he was overcome by a fit of the giggles. 

“What? Do you not like my outfit?” Harry asked, walking further out of the closest, posing and twirling as if he was walking down the Victoria Secret's catwalk. Louis was now bent double, tears streaming down his face as he watched Harry prance and twirl up and down their bedroom in nothing but white board shorts that sat low on his hips, a unbuttoned black short sleeved shirt, dark sunglasses and a straw boaters hat complete with black ribbon detail. 

“No, no. Y--your outfit is p--perfect baby,” Louis replied, continuing to giggle as he tried in vain to contain his laughter and wipe the tears from his eyes.

“Then why are you laughing at your sexy boyfriend? Hmm?”

“I--I’m laughing, because it’s five degrees outside, and you look like you are ready to go to the beach, Harold.”

“Exactly,” Harry deadpanned, stopping dead in his tracks in front of Louis, a shit eating grin breaking out on is face. 

“What do you mean exactly?” Louis asked, his giggles all of a sudden having disappeared. He knew they must be getting down to the explanation section of this whole charade, so he sat up, wiped the tears of laughter from his eyes, and studied Harry intently.

“Well. The other night you mentioned that you were sick of the weather, and that you’d love to walk on a sandy beach and blow all of the cobwebs away. So when you’d fallen asleep, I got up and scrolled through every page of romantic couples getaways I could find, until I found the perfect spot, and in short, we are going on holiday for a week as of Friday morning.”

“You-- you did what!?” Louis found himself yelling, unable to contain his shock and excitement.

“I booked us a weeks holiday, love. We both need it and deserve it after everything that has gone on over the last few months. Plus, it will be nice not to be cold for a week,” Harry said through a laugh.

Louis stood up on the bed then and launched himself into Harry’s arms. Harry, of course, caught him with ease, his boaters hat flying off of his head in the process. Louis brought his lips down to Harry’s in a searing kiss, his small hands finding their way into Harry’s curls as they always did. Harry was gripping Louis tightly around his middle, his tongue delving into Louis’ mouth, his teeth biting at Louis’ bottom lip, and Louis couldn’t help but moan into Harry’s mouth.

After a few minutes, when they were both panting and breathless, they reluctantly separated, Harry still holding onto Louis tightly around the middle. “I love you so much, Louis Tomlinson. You deserve this. We deserve this. I just hope it was the right thing. That this is okay?” Harry’s voice sounded hesitant and unsure, and Louis was quick to reassure him that this was more than okay.

“Of course it is okay, Haz. It’s perfect and thoughtful and amazing. I’m so fucking lucky that I get to call you mine, and I can’t wait to go on our first holiday together.” 

“No. I’m definitely the lucky one, Lou. You really don’t have any idea just how amazing you are, do you?” Louis’ didn’t say anything in answer, he simply smiled shyly  at Harry’s compliment, feeling a blush creep up his neck and cheeks. Harry kissed him again, softly, reverently this time, before he set Louis down on his feet and took him by the hand, leading him into the walk in wardrobe where their suitcases were laying at the door.

“What are we doing, Harry?” Louis asked, unsure why Harry wanted to go into their closet, however knowing that he would do just about anything Harry asked, so his question was almost redundant statement at this point.

“We’re going to pack,” was all that Harry said in return, and with a smile ten miles wide. They both ran into the wardrobe like giddy teenagers, pulling their suitcases along behind them. 

 


	26. Ridiculous Luxury, Dinner for Two and Wonky Toothless T-Rex's

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry and Louis are nearing the end of their holiday, when the unexpected happens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By now you should know the drill. I upload if and when the chapters are written and try to make them amazing so that I don't feel horrible for being the worst uploader in the history of fanfiction.
> 
> As always a massive thank you to my bestie Lena. Couldn't have done this without you, but you knew that already. Love you xx
> 
> Also to my other bestie Taylor for pinching her 'salty swallow' line. Love you girl xx
> 
> And as always, to all of you who still continue to read this story. I have no idea why any of you have stuck by me for the last 8 months! But you have, so thank you. You are all loved and appreciated.
> 
> Kudos and comments are always welcome
> 
>  
> 
> All the love
> 
>  
> 
> Z x

Louis and Harry were nearing the end of their magical two week holiday on Hayman Island, and despite the fact that, at first, Louis had had reservations about the luxuriousness of the place, he was surprised to find  himself feeling sad at the prospect of having to leave. He had hated that the reception foyer was three times the size of his house and that other guests had turned their nose up at him whenever he had spoken. But by day three, after finally admitting to Harry that he felt out of place, and after Harry had bashfully admitted the same, they had both agreed to just take advantage of what the resort had to offer. It was only after they'd both admitted the resort was probably too posh even for Harry that Louis had finally let himself relax and enjoy the beauty of the place. He had, if he was being perfectly honest, and to his surprise, found himself loving every minute of it. 

Louis and Harry had made use of almost every activity available to them during their stay after that. They had decided to merely sleep and enjoy each other on the first day, not bothering to venture outside of their private beach front villa, the journey to the island alone having been a long, yet exciting day. They had spent hours lazing by the pool after the shock of just how grand their surroundings were, swimming, topping up their tans, and familiarizing themselves with their “room”, before stumbling into bed much later that night, falling asleep quickly in each other's arms.

On the morning of day two, Louis had found himself physically trying not to smother Harry with his pillow. Harry had woken Louis well before the ass crack of dawn, his hair in a messy bun, with a sleepy yet excited smile on his face, holding a cup of coffee out towards Louis. Louis had groaned dramatically, in true Louis fashion, his sleep addled brain registering then that he had stupidly agreed to accompany Harry to an early morning beach yoga session. Which apparently just  _ had _ to be held at the chipper time of 5am, and he had instantly regretted his decision the second his eyes had opened. 

His regret had soon been replaced, however, with a throbbing hard on once they had finally made it onto the beach. There was a lot to be said about a half naked Harry, in sinfully tight yoga pants, doing the downward dog as the sun rose up over the eastern side of the island to their right. The rising sun had cast Harry's alabaster skin in a golden, terracotta glow, and Louis had almost broken his neck, craning it to keep his eyes firmly on Harry's muscular back and ass for the duration. He was sure that Harry had been deliberately thrusting his ass higher in the air than was necessary and that  the instructors filthy looks were aimed solely at him. Apparently a hard on wasn’t appropriate yoga attire. Subsequently, they had spent the rest of the day tangled in each others arms, sipping on chilled Moët, nibbling on chocolate covered strawberries and devouring each other like two starved animals. God bless yoga.

By the morning of day five, Louis had managed to get his pay back for Harry’s beach yoga antics. He had snuck off to the main house that morning, as Harry had slept peacefully in their far too big, far too comfortable bed, which Louis was very tempted to have shipped home to Melbourne, and had made Rory, the over-eager concierge, sign them up for every adrenalin pumping activity the resort offered. Harry was everything that ‘extreme sports’ wasn’t, much happier to be doing yoga on the beach at dawn, leisurely exploring the island, or swimming in one of the many pools, sneaking looks at the tanned cabana boys as they passed with trays of colourful drinks with umbrellas because he knew it made Louis jealous. He had put it down to his lack of coordination that he preferred more laid back activities, and had argued that ‘none of those activities require much coordination Louis! It’s all in the name of self preservation, I swear!’ Louis, of course, was having none of that, and so by the time that day thirteen of their holiday had rolled around, they had completed nearly every activity that the island offered. For every adrenaline junkie activity that Louis had signed them up for, Harry had managed to find the most relaxed and mind numbingly boring, in Louis’ humble opinion, activity he could.

They had gone on a jet skiing tour of the island and its immediate surrounds on day six, which Harry had ended up admitting that he’d loved, as Louis had taken him apart with his tongue much later that night. Louis felt that he had loved it just a fraction more than Harry had, having had the pleasure of watching Harry control the powerful machine between his toned legs, his strong arms straining as he guided it at speed across the top of the crystal clear water below them. All. Day. Long. The day had been spectacular and had ended with a race home to the dock, that Louis had, of course, let Harry win, but he’d never admit that to Harry. It had been worth it to see the look of pure elation on Harry’s face, that without fail, resulted in both deep dimples appearing on his face that Louis loved almost as much as he loved Harry. That had prompted a couples massage on their own private section of beach on day seven. If Louis had secretly thanked his lucky stars for the most amazing massage he’d ever had, bar one of course, that had relieved the tension of his aching muscles of the day before, nobody had to know. It had also allowed him an unobstructed view of Harry’s muscular back and arms for over an hour. So maybe this resort wasn’t all that bad after all. 

On day eight, they had gone on a guided scuba diving tour, which really hadn't been too much of a chore for either of them. They had both been excited to complete that specific activity, even before Louis had turned their holiday into a rather crewd version of tit for tat. It also meant that Louis had the opportunity to show off his rather spectacular rear end in a skin tight wetsuit, that he knew had Harry hard and wanting for the entire day. If Harry was having the exact same effect on him, he never needed to know. Apparently a skin tight wetsuit was the perfect hard on suppressor, his hardening cock having had nowhere to go. They had touched the coral reef, swam with schools of brightly coloured fish, and had even been privileged enough to be graced by the presence of a majestic Green Sea Turtle, which according to their diving instructor, was a very rare event indeed. Harry had wasted no time upon their arrival back at their villa calling his mom to tell her all about his Sea Turtle encounter, and Louis couldn’t help but fall more in love with him as he’d excitedly told her all about it, promising to send her a few pictures from their holiday later. As soon as he had hung up, however, he had made certain to let Louis know just how bothered he’d been by his ‘sinful fucking ass in that wetsuit’, and Louis had felt the after effects all the way into day ten. 

On the evening of day nine, Harry had organised a romantic dinner for them, in a secluded courtyard garden that looked as though it had been pulled from the pages of a fantasy novel. There was only one table set out with crisp white linen, polished silverware and dazzling crystal wine glasses that reflected the soft mood lighting in delicate patterns. The only light to see by was a gorgeous floor standing, curved lamp, not unlike the one that stood in Louis’ living room, that hung to the left of their table and small twinkle lights that lined the path leading to the section of pathing that their table stood on. It was on that night that Louis had begun to find that he enjoyed the quiet, relaxed moments alone with Harry, far more than he enjoyed all of the group, high octane activities that he had chosen. Harry didn’t need to know that though, although, he suspected that Harry already knew. 

They had shared a spectacular five star meal that even Louis had found himself enjoying, being waited on hand and foot by a beautiful young woman named Jade. They had swapped and shared items from each others plates, both of them exclaiming ‘you have to try this!’ more times than was strictly necessary, before they had decided to share a slice of double chocolate mud cake that was practically sinful. It was romantic, of frankly vomit worthy proportions, but Louis couldn’t shake the feeling that Harry really was his one and only. He prayed as he watched the twinkle lights catch in Harry’s eyes, a soft smile filling his handsome face, both dimples out and deep as he laughed at something silly that Louis had said, that in fifty years time, that they would still be this madly in love with each other, possibly even returning here to share another slice of chocolate cake together.

And so Louis found himself stretching his limbs out in their spacious bed on the morning of day fourteen, and he felt a tightening in his chest that could only be described as sadness at having to leave all of this behind. It wasn’t leaving the luxuriousness, or the exclusiveness, or even the stunning view and magical surroundings behind that had him feeling upset. It was the thought that once they set foot back on the mainland, this magical bubble that they had found themselves in would pop, and they would be back to reality. Louis didn’t care if that sounded selfish or silly. He had enjoyed having Harry all to himself for two solid weeks, but most of all, he had loved how he had finally gotten to know the  _ real _ Harry, who didn't have to worry about what he did or where he went or who might see him. 

It had been like the wool had been lifted from in front of Louis’ eyes. Almost as if he was finally seeing Harry properly for the first time. Harry was magnificent. He was funny, intelligent and sexy. He was confident. Louis, of course, knew this about him already, but it was unfiltered and one hundred percent the genuine article, sometimes bordering on down right brazen. His mind drifted back to the afternoon they had gone exploring, finding the natural lagoon and waterfall, as he lay there with Harry’s body heat seeping into him. The lagoon was hidden away amongst dense palm trees and tropical rainforest, making Louis feel like he'd been transported to another dimension. He hadn't intended to become an exhibitionist that day, despite there being no one around for as far as the eye could see. That's exactly what he had ended up becoming though, when he’d found himself coming apart on Harry’s tongue, fingers and cock under the waterfall.

Louis felt like he would never have seen that side of Harry if it hadn't been for this holiday, and it was the thought that he would have to return to being a watered down, filtered version of himself once he left the island that was the real reason for Louis’ sadness. He only wished there was a way that he could take this Harry, this most genuine, _ real _ version of himself, and meld it together with their real lives. Maybe there was a way, but right at that moment, it seemed like an impossible task. 

“Good morning, love.” Louis heard Harry whisper into his ear then, before his plump lips came down to meet Louis’ in a tender kiss. Louis couldn’t help but smile against Harry’s lips, not even his worries about returning to their normal day-to-day lives being able to stop it. 

“Morning, love,” Louis replied, gazing into Harry’s sleep filled, green eyes. He began nuzzling Harry's neck then, inhaling the scent that was just so Harry and he felt it when Harry’s hand came to lay gently against his hip. It moved slowly, deliberately, in lazy circles, before making its way up his spine, goosebumps breaking out over his now caramel, sunkissed skin.

“I’m sad, Lou,” Harry said then in a tiny, defeated sounding voice, and Louis stopped nuzzling Harry’s neck abruptly, his sapphire eyes focusing back on Harry’s once more. Harry's features were set in a pout, his eyes beginning to look misted as Louis continued to look at him.

“Sad?” Louis asked, as he brought a hand up to push a stray curl out of Harry's face. “Why are you sad, Haz?” Louis was suddenly filled with concern. Harry had seemed beyond happy yesterday, and even late last night as he’d made slow, sweet love to him. So to hear now that he felt sad was worrying Louis. What could possibly have happened as he’d slept to make him look as though he was on the verge of tears?

“I’m sad because as much as this resort is kind of pretentious, and so not us in the slightest, I have had the most amazing time. I don’t think I’m ready to go back to reality just yet.” Louis swallowed down the lump that had formed in his throat as Harry had spoken, his mouth felt dry and his chest tightened at the look on Harry's face.

“I know, love,”Louis replied hoarsely, kissing Harry's neck with tender lips. “I don’t want to leave either.” Louis didn't miss Harry's sharp intake of breath at his words, the slow motion of his hand stopping abruptly, obviously shocked by his admission. Louis couldn't fault him for it though. He had made it known from the moment the stretch limousine had showed up on his doorstep two weeks ago now, that this level of luxury really wasn't him at all. He'd never been one for large displays of wealth, the exception being his house and car, but those were practical purchases in Louis’ eyes. They were a need, not a want, and it was this reasoning that had helped him justify spending so much money. 

When they had been checking in on the first day, Louis had almost choked on his own tongue, having almost bitten the tip off. He had forced himself to keep quiet when Rory had announced that Harry's bill for their accommodation alone had been a tidy sum of $27,300, and he was more than welcome to run a tab for all other expenses if he wished to. So to now be admitting that he would be sad to say goodbye, and feeling as though he could easily stay for another two weeks, or even months, really was a shock to both of them. 

“I know, I know, I'm a hypocrite,” Louis continued, chuckling softly. “I really have loved every minute of our time here, Haz. It has been like living in a dream, and I don't want to wake up from it, not yet.” 

“Neither do I, Lou. It has been truly magical. I have loved every second of our time here. Speaking of magical things. Do you think that we could get a waterfall installed in the pool area back home?” Harry mused and winked cheekily at Louis as he finished speaking. Louis couldn't help the loud shout of laughter that escaped him as he swatted at Harry's chest playfully.

“You are the absolute worst!”Louis exclaimed, laughter still in his voice, his eyes crinkled, full of warmth and love for the wild haired man laying beside him. “Who knew there was this side to you?” Louis mused aloud, and he was not surprised when Harry wiggled his eyebrows at him suggestively. 

“You of all people should, Lou. I didn't tip an entire bottle of ice cold water over my head, risking hypothermia and electrocution for nothing, you know,” Harry countered, laughter in his own voice now. 

“Whatever do you mean?” Louis laced his tone with as much innocence as he could muster, fluttering his eyelashes at Harry. He let out a squeak of surprise as Harry lunged at him suddenly and straddled his bare hips, his long fingers coming down to Louis’ ribs, tickling him mercilessly. 

“You. Know. Exactly. What. I. Mean,” Harry ground out between gritted teeth, a dimple filled smile never leaving his face as Louis continued to squirm beneath his fingertips, arms and legs flailing.

“Okay! Okay! St--stop!” Louis yelled, tears of laughter now streaming down the sides of his face to mingle with the opulent, Egyptian cotton sheets below him. “I know what you mean! I know what you mean! Hareeee!” 

Harry thankfully relinquished, and not a moment too soon, as Louis had started to feel lightheaded at having been struggling to get enough air into his lungs for the last few minutes. It was to be a short lived reprieve though, as no sooner had Harry's hands left Louis’ ribs, than they were gripping his face, his mouth coming down to devour Louis’, kissing the little bit of breath he had right out of him. 

“I love being me sometimes,” Louis said on a breathless whisper when Harry finally released him. Harry rolled back onto his side then, chuckling all the while and pulled Louis into him.

“I would have to say that the feeling is definitely mutual, love. But don't be too sad, Lou. I have one more surprise for us before we go home.” 

“Another surprise?” Louis asked, craning his neck to look up at Harry from his current position. 

“Mhmm.” Was all that Harry said in reply, the vibrations reverberating through Harry's chest, making Louis’ cheek tingle with it. 

“And when are we doing or going on this surprise?” Louis knew better than to ask Harry what the surprise was; he'd learnt that lesson the hard way after trying every which way he could think of to get Harry to tell him where they were going on holiday. 

“About three. Why’s that?” Three? Louis was almost certain that was not long after they were supposed to check out of the resort and head home. His interest was now piqued to say the least, but that also left plenty of time for what he had planned in the meantime. 

“Well, Harold, I was asking because you're not the only one with a surprise up their sleeve.” And with that Louis climbed out of bed, slowly heading towards their secluded expanse of beach.

Louis could feel Harry's intense gaze boring holes into his naked, tanned flesh, and he heard it when Harry sat up a bit in bed to get a better view.  Louis wiggled his hips suggestively in response as he walked closer to the beach beyond their villa. When he reached the patio doors, he stopped, leaning with one hand against the door frame, cocking his hip out to the side, shooting what he hoped was the sexiest, most sinful look he could muster, over his shoulder towards Harry.

“Well, what are you waiting for,  _ Mr. Tomlinson-Styles _ ?” Louis singsonged, before bringing his bottom lip between his teeth, still not having let Harry live down the name he’d chosen to book their reservation under. If it made Louis’ heart swell and his stomach somersault, Harry never needed to know.  Harry practically growled in response, throwing the sheet off of him from where it lay over his hips, before he leapt from the bed. He stumbled over the bed sheets now tangled at his feet in his haste to reach Louis, and Louis tried to hide the smirk that had  formed on his lips, as he continued to watch him over his shoulder.

The smirk quickly faded as Harry began striding purposefully towards him. Louis’ breath hitched as he noted that all too familiar look of pure carnality in Harry's rapidly darkening eyes, his cock now hard and leaking, bobbing between his toned legs as he moved across the expanse of open bedroom that separated them. Louis swallowed thickly as his heart began to beat erratically in his chest, a droplet of sweat now tracking down the length of his spine.

He knew that he was breathing heavily, and that this entire scene playing out before him couldn't have lasted more than mere seconds, however, it felt as though time had come to a complete stand still, almost as if Harry was moving closer and closer to him, but never arriving. Harry wasted no time scooping Louis up into his strong, muscular arms when he reached him, before unceremoniously throwing him over his shoulder, smacking Louis playfully on his firm ass as he went.

Louis squealed in delight as Harry took off at a run towards the pristine waters of the Coral Sea, the villa bobbing in and out of view as Harry’s, for once, sure movements jostled Louis from his potion over Harry's shoulder. The sky was a cascading prism of oranges and reds, casting a hazy glow over the beach before them. The villa began to grow smaller and darker as it shrunk into the surrounding bushland, Harry's long, quick strides moving them closer to the water's edge. The entire viewscape was like something from a movie, shadowed by the rising hills behind the resort, standing out in silhouette to the wondrous colours of sunrise, and Louis simply could not wrap his head around the fact that this was really his life.

Before long, the cool ocean water was lapping at Harry's shins, his movements clashing with the rhythmic ebb and flow of the waves, causing droplets of cool water to splash up onto the back of Louis’ legs where they dangled down Harry's firm chest. When the water neared the middle of Harry's chest, he stopped, swaying along with the flow of the ocean surrounding them, before letting Louis slide down the length of his body.

Harry fell to his knees as Louis stood before him, the water lapping at both of their chins. Harry's eyes looked hooded, dark and primal, the orange hues of sunrise setting them alight. No one had spoken since before they had left the villa, and Louis was thankful, for he didn't trust himself to be able to form any coherent sentences at that moment. Harry wrapped an arm around Louis’ slim waist as they continued to stare longingly into each other’s eyes, bringing Louis closer to him, their noses now touching.

“I hope that you have seen the real me whilst we have been here,” Harry whispered, his voice sounded rough and throaty to Louis’ ears, and it did nothing to calm his racing heart or stop his now raging hard on from growing even harder, if that was even possible. Louis didn't say anything in return, not knowing what to say back, or even how to any more. He simply stared back at Harry, hoping that he was answering Harry's questions with the look of love he knew was in his eyes. “I hope,” Harry continued, running his nose down the length of Louis' jaw and the column of his neck, “that you have seen  _ me _ . The me I truly am and always want to be when I'm around you.” 

Louis couldn't help but let out a moan, throwing his head back at the combination of Harry's words and touch, coupled with the feeling of the ocean as it lapped around them. His body felt overheated, electrified even, as Harry continued to whisper sweet nothings to him, his lips claiming any part of Louis’ now over-sensitive skin they could reach. 

“I hope you see my heart, and know that you will never be lonely as long as you have me.” Harry's words seemed to have a direct link, not only to Louis’ heart strings, but to his throbbing cock that felt as though it was going to burst as it jostled between both of their bodies. He wasn't sure if he wanted to cry, or cry out in pleasure, his brain felt too fuzzy from all of the overwhelming thoughts and feelings surrounding him. But Harry continued on, planting kisses all over Louis’ neck and collar bones, stopping only to suck deep bruises between kisses as he spoke. 

“I hope you know that whenever you feel like you've forgotten who you are, or where you belong, that you will always have a home in me.” Tears had sprung  to the surface of Louis’ eyes, and he scrunched them tightly shut. He felt like he was about to break down at any moment, but the feeling of Harry's lips, hands and cock grazing his body was enough to have him teetering on the edge between both emotions. He needed more friction. He needed Harry to be inside of him, around him, consuming him. And yet he never wanted Harry to stop talking. Wanted, _needed_ , to hear the words that he was obviously so desperate to say. 

“I feel like I'm missing my other half when I'm not with you, Lou. It feels like someone has torn out half of my heart, and I don't ever want to feel that way again. I just hope that you realise that you know the real me now. That I've shown you who I truly am, right down to the deepest parts of my being. That I have shown you my heart.”

“Oh, Harry...” Louis moaned out against the crook of Harry’s neck. He knew it probably wasn't the response that Harry wanted to hear, but it was the best he could muster. Harry didn’t seem to mind though, as moved his hands to cup Louis’ cheeks then, forcing him to stare him dead in the eye, a gigawatt smile and a look of pure lust now set on his face. It was the four whispered words that escaped his sinful, kiss bitten lips then, that had Louis whimpering.

“For your eyes only.”

That was it. That was all it took to have Louis grasping tightly onto Harry’s curls, his mouth now back on Harry’s in a bruising kiss. He wasn’t entirely sure what he was supposed to have said to that, or if he was supposed to answer Harry at all. All he knew was that this man, this gorgeous, funny, kind, caring, sexy man in front of him, baring his soul to him, was the love of his life and every life he would ever live. In any life he was meant to live, Harry would always be it for him. He had been from the moment Louis had lain eyes on him, and that feeling, that feeling of his stomach twisting into knots, his skin feeling as though it was on fire, it would never be dulled. He would always feel as intensely for Harry as he had then, as he still did now. 

“Harry, please…” Louis moaned into Harry’s ear when Harry had made no move to touch him or help him to alleviate his swollen, painful cock. Louis needed Harry to touch him, in all of the places he was so studiously avoiding. To claim him. To mark him. To make love to him as the sun rose and the ocean crashed to the shore around them. He needed to feel Harry in him and around him, assaulting his flesh and his senses with a love so fierce it could barely be contained by his patchwork heart. 

“Shh, baby. I’ve got you. I’ve got you,” Harry cooed as Louis continued to devour his plump lips, moaning and whimpering with each breath he took. 

Louis felt it when Harry’s hands moved from the small of his back, down to the curve of his ass, gripping him firmly. Harry lifted him slightly then, the movement of the water and Harry’s hands allowing Louis to become weightless and his knees lifted up from the sandy ocean floor below him. Louis instinctively wrapped his muscular legs around Harry’s slim waist then and before he could register what was happening, Harry stood, turning back towards the villa. Louis’ lips had never left Harry’s, his small hands still fisted in Harry’s curls, and Harry hadn’t made a single complaint yet, even as he moved them closer to the sandy beach where the waves were lapping lazily. Harry came to an abrupt stop when the water was barely reaching his ankles, as Louis’ mouth sucked a purple bruise into the soft skin below the hinge of Harry's jaw, the sudden jolt forcing Louis to release him with a small, wet pop. 

“What’s wrong?” Louis asked, panting now as he looked up into Harry's eyes, their green shade almost gone now, his pupils wide and glazed looking. He looked completely fucked already, his lips swollen and red from their kisses, his growing curls moving around his head in a wild halo that seemed to have a life of its own, the sun casting deep shadows in the sharp angles of his face. Louis became more confused when Harry made no move to continue up the beach to their waiting bed or to say anything in response.

Louis wasn't worried about the state their room would be in when they were done, if that was the reason for Harry coming to an abrupt stop. If it became full of wet sand, which Louis knew was an inevitability at this point, it wouldn’t matter. They had a maid service at their disposal, after all. 

“Need you. Now,” Harry said then, growling out the words out, his hot breath ghosting over Louis’ lips before his own were back on Louis’, and he began lowering him onto the sand below them. 

The sand felt warm, with an odd rough, but surprisingly soft quality against Louis’ now cool skin, the breeze swirling around them turning the droplets of water running from their bodies icy, the feel of it an odd sensation. He felt as though he was sinking into it as Harry’s warm body pressed down on top of his. Louis felt like it was cocooning him, cradling him as Harry’s mouth devoured him. Louis tried to process all of it at once and failed, only the feeling of Harry’s mouth, hands, and the way that their hard, leaking cocks were now pressed firmly together occupying his mind. He wanted nothing more than to reach down between them and grasp his cock, if only to allow himself the friction he so desperately craved. 

As if reading his mind, Harry moved his hands from where they were still cupping Louis's ass tightly, his fingertips sure to leave polka dotted bruises in Louis’ creamy flesh, up the sides of his hips and up his rib cage. Louis sucked in an involuntary breath as Harry’s hands continued their slow track upwards, the cool metal of his assortment of rings sending tingles down his spine, Harry’s name escaping his kiss bitten lips on a breathy moan. Harry broke the kiss then, Louis now a panting mess below him, his legs twitching and his hands moving down the back of Harry’s head and neck, where they came to an abrupt stop at his muscled shoulder blades. His nails dug into Harry’s back as he continued his torturous ministrations, creating crescent moon shaped marks on his skin. Louis could feel the muscles in Harry’s back constricting and releasing under his palms as Harry kissed his way down the column of Louis’ neck, his shoulder blades now protruding at an obscene angle as he used his strong arms to hold himself up off of Louis' body, his head dipping to lick and suck at the scripted tattoo along Louis’ collarbones. 

All the while, the ocean continued to lap at the shore, slowly but surely inching its way closer to them. Where it had started out tickling the soles of Louis' bare feet, it was now dancing around the region of his knees. He hoped Harry was about to get this show on the road. If not from the point of view that his insides felt as though they had been liquified, his skin feeling too tight and over sensitive, then from the point of view that if he didn't they may just drown, wrapped in each others hands, mouths and bodies. Louis realised then that he wouldn't mind that one tiny bit. He would willingly die for this man. 

“Fuck!” Louis exclaimed as Harry's hot, wet mouth came down to encase one of his nipples. 

“That's it, baby, let me hear you. It's just us. Let me hear you,” Harry breathed against the now hard nub, before he used the tip of his tongue to caress it lightly. He didn't stop there, using his teeth to nibble on it, before blowing across it, sending shockwaves of pleasure pulsing down Louis spine until his cock felt as though it may explode. 

“Please, Harry! Need you. Need you to touch me. Fuck!” Louis felt like he was out of his mind with need, and as always, the only tell tale sign that Harry was remotely affected by what he was doing, was his hard cock and his panting breaths. 

“Shh, darling. Soon.” Louis didn't know if he could last much longer. Harry hadn't even touched his neglected cock, and yet he felt like he was on the verge of orgasm already, completely untouched. But he needed to be touched. Needed to feel full. Needed to feel claimed by Harry's rock hard cock. 

Harry's lips made their way down the middle of Louis' chest then, his teeth nipping and lips sucking as he went, before his tongue dipped into his navel. Harry groaned as he did so, the feel of it against Louis’ skin setting his insides alight again.

“Open that pretty mouth for me, baby,” Louis heard Harry moan out as he inhaled deeply, his nose pressed into the neat patch of curls at the base of Louis cock. 

“Fuck! Yes!” Louis rushed out, all too willing to comply with Harry’s sinful command. Of course, he would open his mouth willingly for Harry, that meant that he was finally going to touch him. Louis felt like he could cry at the prospect. Or maybe it was because he felt like he wanted to tear his skin off, or because his cock was screaming at him to be touched. Either way, the sentiment was the same.

Harry brought two, long, ringed fingers up to Louis’ mouth as he opened it for him. Harry slipped his fingers inside, and Louis wasted no time licking between them, making them slick with his spit. They tasted of salt, and Louis pretended he was licking Harry’s release from his fingers. His eyes were shut, but he didn’t miss Harry’s sharp intake of breath as he maneuverered his tongue expertly over and between his fingers, or the way that Harry’s chest was rising and falling rapidly in time with Louis’. Yes, he was just as turned on and affected by what he was doing as Louis was; he was just much better at hiding it. Louis didn’t want him to hide it. Louis didn’t want him to shy away. This was to be their last day on the island, and he wanted to pull every vestige of the real Harry out of him, to see him and experience him before they were both shoved back into the proverbial closet when they returned home. Louis released Harry’s fingers with a wet pop as Harry slowly pulled them free of his mouth. 

Louis hooked a finger into the silver cross necklace that Harry wore around his neck, as Harry moved his hand down between them, a slick finger now ghosting seductively over Louis’ puckered rim. Louis let out a strangled moan as Harry applied the smallest amount of pressure, never entering, simply feeling, teasing. Harry really was going to be the death of him, he just knew it. 

“Take what you want from me, baby. Show me what you want. I can give it to you,” Louis whispered into Harry’s ear then as he used his necklace to pull his head down closer to him, before moaning obscenely in Harry’s ear as one finger finally breached his hole.  So maybe Louis had moaned a little more obscenely than was strictly necessary, but he knew it drove Harry wild. He wasn’t leaving this island until he had experienced  _ everything _ .  “For my eyes only.”

“Fuck yes, Louis!” Harry growled out against Louis’ lips as he finished speaking and before long, Harry was two fingers deep inside Louis, panting heavily, moaning and cursing as Louis ground down onto his fingers. Louis was already lose from having ridden Harry’s cock late the night before, so when he begged Harry to add a third, it really wasn’t too much to ask, Harry obliging with another loud curse. “Lou, you feel so good, baby. Always feel so good for me.”

Louis arched his back, sending Harry’s fingers deeper inside of him till they were nudging at his sensitive prostate as he had spoken, his sinful mouth coming down to capture the long forgotten nipple from earlier between his teeth. Louis was forced to stay that way, his head hanging backwards limply between his shoulder blades, his hands scrambling to find purchase in the wet, moving sand to hold himself up as Harry’s fingers continued to scissor and spread him, his mouth never leaving his nipple. 

“Fuck Harry. Please. I’m ready. Please. Just fuck me,” Louis begged, eyes wide and pleading. If he didn’t get Harry’s cock in him soon, he thought he was going to go mad with lust. 

“You want my cock, baby? Want to feel full of my cock?” Harry panted out between breaths against Louis’ sternum. Fuck. Louis never knew what to say or do when Harry’s mouth spewed sinful filth like that. Filth that had him screaming his name and begging for more.

“Yes! Fuck yes, Harry! Need it.”

Without warning Harry removed his fingers from where they were scorching Louis’ insides. He thought in that moment that Harry should definitely have come with a warning label. Louis had never felt anything half as good as what Harry was able to make him feel, and his cock wasn’t even inside him yet.

“You ready, baby?” Louis didn’t bother resisting the urge to roll his eyes at Harry, flopping back down dramatically into the wet sand.

“I’ve been fucking ready. Just fuck me! Please!” Harry had the gall to chuckle against the inside of Louis’ thigh then, as he used one firm hand to push one of Louis’ legs up to the region of his chin.

“Hold your legs for me baby. Oh, fuck. Yeah. Like that,” Harry rambled out as he stroked his hard cock a few times, sucking on the end of his index finger before ghosting it over Louis’ hole once more. 

Louis felt raw and exposed, lying on a deserted section of beach, under the rising sun, his entire being beared for Harry. He gripped both of his legs around his knees, as Harry shuffled forwards, pressing the head of his swollen cock against Louis’ rim. Louis sucked in a breath as Harry finally,  _ finally,  _ entered him. He wanted more than anything to reach out and touch his cock, to grip the base to stave off his rapidly approaching orgasm, to stroke himself into ecstasy. But from his current position of holding his knees up to his chest, he couldn’t do more than watch the way that Harry sunk into him, filling him. Watch the way that Harry’s eyes had fluttered shut, his plump lips forming an ‘o’ as his hips met Louis’ ass. Louis needed to touch himself. He could feel tears stinging his eyes with the need, however he couldn’t, and Harry knew it. That asshole. He had chosen this specific position on purpose, know there would be know way for Louis to touch himself without dropping his legs. Fuck. 

“Move. Fuck, Harry.  _ Move _ !” Louis was pleading with him now. Pleading with him to fuck him into oblivion. Harry didn’t say anything in acknowledgement of Louis’ request. He simply captured Louis’ firm lips in a bruising kiss, before propping himself back up on his elbows and began slowly moving his hips. As Harry began thrusting into him, Louis moaned, his eyes rolling into the back of his head for an entirely different reason this time. 

“You feel so good, baby. So tight for me. Always so tight for me, fuck!” Harry breathed out, his chest heaving with his laboured breaths. Louis doubted how tight he could really be, given that all they had done was fuck like bunnies the entire two weeks they had been here. But who was he to question him? 

“ _ Daddy _ …” Louis whined out in response, and what? Harry had referred to himself as Daddy during sex a few times before, but never had Louis been the one to say it to him. It must have been the right thing to say, however, because as if on cue, Harry began pounding into him as if his life depended on it. 

“Open your eyes. Need to see you. Watch me fuck your tight little hole, baby,” Harry growled out as his hips and balls slapped against Louis’ ass, Louis’ cock slapping against his stomach on every other thrust with the force of it. Louis didn’t need to be told twice. He opened his eyes slowly, letting them adjust to the blinding light around them, and mistakes were made. 

Just as Louis’ eyes opened fully, Harry began to roll his hips into him, his spine dipping and curving at a downright pornographinc angle, his powerful muscles rolling under his tanned, tattooed skin. Fuck. If Louis’ hadn’t been on the brink before, he certainly was now. He wasn’t quite sure which way was up, which was down, or even what his name was anymore. All that consumed him, all that ever consumed him if he was being completely honest, was Harry. Always, Harry.

“Fuck, I’m so close. Need to come,” Louis rambled on a breathy moan.

It was then that inspiration struck him. He’d never been one for much dirty talk during sex. Always the one to respond to all of the sinful things that Harry said to him, whispered straight into his very soul. But this time, he wanted to be that for Harry. Wanted to hear the obscene sounds coming from Harry’s mouth when there was no one to interrupt them which was their norm at home. This time they didn’t have to sneak about like two horny teenagers in fear of being walked in on by their parents. 

“ _ Please, _ ” Louis whined. “Please, Daddy. Please let me come. Need you to fill me up with your hot come, Daddy. Wanna come for you. Please.  _ Please... _ ” Louis had never heard a sound coming from Harry’s lips like this. If he had thought he’d heard Harry growl during sex before, it was nothing to the thunderous rumble his words pulled from him now. 

Harry moved his hands under Louis’ back then as Louis used his knees for leverage to arch his back into Harry’s pounding thrusts. He gripped tightly onto the tops of  Louis’ shoulders then, using them and his elbows to support his weight and began to piston his hips at a punishing pace, essentially pulling Louis down onto his cock. Louis could no longer form a coherent thought. All he could do was gasp and moan and whine as Harry’s hips slapped against the plump flesh off his ass, Harry’s hip bones sure to leave bruises there as they made contact. Harry’s hair was flying wildly in the wind, the ocean was still making a rapid approach towards the shoreline where they lay and all Louis could do was let it all swallow him whole until he could feel tears streaming down his face with it. 

“Daddy! Oh fuck,  _ please _ !”

“You wanna come, baby? Wanna come from my cock? Hmm?” Harry groaned into the crook of Louis’ neck, now.

“Yes! Oh fuck yes! Wanna come, Daddy! Please! Please let me come!” Harry’s hips began to stutter, his blistering pace becoming erratic, clearly just as close to orgasm as Louis was. What happened next though, Louis could never have prepared for.

“Come, baby!” Harry practically yelled out as he came, his back arching inwards at an almost painful looking angle, his head thrown back in ecstasy and without warning, a wave crashed over the both of them.

It felt to Louis as if it happened in slow motion, yet at light speed all at the same time. On minute he was coming, hard, hot ropes of coming shooting from his neglected cock to coat his chest and neck, as Harry came with him. The next, a wall of water was crashing over Harry’s body, framing him in a halo of salty droplets, that with no warning whatsoever, engulfed the both of them. The force of the wave pushed Harry that much deeper into Louis, making him cry out in pleasure as another ribbon of come was released. 

Louis released his legs abruptly as he coughed and sputtered on a mouthful of seawater. It definitely gave a whole new meaning to a ‘salty swallow’. Before they could recover, however, or move away from the rising tide, it rushed up around them, crashing down on them once more, both of them now soaked and giggling in the sand. 

“Harry! Get off me before I fucking drown!” Louis exclaimed as another wave rushed towards them. Harry couldn’t move for laughing it seemed, his spent cock still nestled in Louis’ ass, the waves continuing to roll into shore drenching them. “Harry! I love you, but if I drown, I swear to God,  I’ll haunt you for the rest of your natural born life!”

Only Harry’s rumbling laughter could be heard over the sound of the crashing waves.

 

. .   . .   . .

 

When they had finally moved a safe distance away from the crashing waves, and Harry dashed back to their villa, returning with a few towels for both of them, they lay together on a banana lounger staring up at the sky. At first, they merely lay in silence, giggling softly every few minutes, the sounds of the ocean and the heat of the day engulfing them, before they began debating cloud shapes and whether or not a particular cloud looked more like a bunny or a wonky toothless T-Rex. Harry insisted the former while Louis argued the latter because a toothless T-Rex seemed much more cool.  

“You know, I’ve always wondered what it would be like to fly, you could go anywhere in the world you wanted to without a second thought,” Louis mused absentmindedly as a gull flew over head. 

“If I could fly, I think that I would fly home,” Harry replied softly. 

“Home?” Louis asked, turning slightly so that he could see Harry’s face better. “As in to England?”

“No,” Harry chuckled. “Home as in to you.” 

 


End file.
